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Conceiving a first child: fathers’perceptions of contributing elements totheir decisionPascale deMontigny Gauthier a & Francine deMontigny aa Center of Research and Studies in Family Intervention ,Université du Québec en Outaouais , Gatineau , Québec , CanadaPublished online: 18 Jul 2013.

To cite this article: Pascale deMontigny Gauthier & Francine deMontigny (2013) Conceiving a firstchild: fathers’ perceptions of contributing elements to their decision, Journal of Reproductive andInfant Psychology, 31:3, 274-284, DOI: 10.1080/02646838.2013.809519

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Conceiving a first child: fathers’ perceptions of contributingelements to their decision

Pascale deMontigny Gauthier and Francine deMontigny*

Center of Research and Studies in Family Intervention, Université du Québec en Outaouais,Gatineau, Québec, Canada

(Received 7 October 2012; final version received 25 May 2013)

Objective: To describe the elements that contribute to men’s decision to have afirst child. Background: The factors contributing to women’s and couples’ deci-sions to conceive a first child are known. Less research has been carried out onmen’s experiences with respect to such decisions. Methods: Qualitative researchwas carried out in 2011. Twelve Canadian first-time fathers were interviewed.Results: The findings show that fathers consider a set of personal, socio-eco-nomic, interpersonal and temporal characteristics when making the decision toconceive a child. Conclusions: Better knowledge of the elements influencingmen’s decisions to have a child will make it possible to provide them with sup-port during the transition to fatherhood.

Keywords: father(s); pregnancy; psychosocial factors; reproduction; qualitativemethods

The decision to conceive a child is a complex, multi-dimensional process with bio-psycho-social and cultural aspects (Testa, 2010). Both quantitative and qualitativestudies have been carried out on the decision process for having a child. Such stud-ies focus in particular on parents’ motivations and intentions (Beckman, Aizenberg,Forsythe, & Day, 1983; Cassidy & Sintrovani, 2008; Langdridge, Connolly, & She-eran, 2000; Langdridge, Sheeran, & Connolly, 2005; Miller, Millstein, & Pasta,2008; Morgan, 1985; Purewal & van den Akker, 2007; Schoen, Kim, Nathanson,Fields, & Astone, 1997; Thomson, 1997; Thomson & Hoem, 1998; Thomson,McDonald, & Bumpass, 1990). In fact, most research has focused on heterosexualwomen’s motivations to have children (Beckman et al., 1983; Morgan, 1985;Thomson, 1997; Thomson et al., 1990; Thomson & Hoem, 1998), revealing that forwomen, her partner’s consent, the desire to get pregnant, cessation of contraceptionand reaching the ideal moment in life are key elements of a planned pregnancy(Barrett & Wellings, 2002). While it is relevant to examine the decision to conceivefrom this angle, as women often influence men in the decision to have a child(Biblarz & Stacey, 2010; Dandurand, Bernier, & Lemieux, 1997; Fischer, Stanford,Jameson, & DeWitt, 1999; Miller, 1994), however, the opposite may also be true(Fischer et al., 1999). This justifies the need to look at men’s experiences in making

*Corresponding author. Email: Francine.demontigny@uqo.ca

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this decision. We seek to better understand men’s perceptions of the key elementscontributing to their decision to conceive a first child.

The decision to conceive a child from men’s point of view: the current state ofknowledge

A review of the literature reveals that men may desire a child to meet individualpsychological needs, for example, to give and receive love, (Langdridge et al.,2000, 2005; Thompson & Lee, 2011), to form a family (Langdridge et al., 2005),to create social ties (Schoen et al., 1997; Thompson & Lee, 2011), or to be sup-ported in life (Langdridge et al., 2005). Family continuity (Langdridge et al., 2005)and a sense of achievement and fulfilment (Langdridge et al., 2005; Purewal & vanden Akker, 2007; Thompson & Lee, 2011) are other psychological needs met byprocreation. For fathers, the added need to perpetuate the genetic link or the familyname has been revealed in a recent qualitative study (Purewal & van den Akker,2007).

Personal characteristics have also been found to contribute to this decision. Forexample, Von der Lippe’s results (2010) indicate that social maturity and a loving,optimistic, assertive personality are elements contributing to men’s desire to have achild. Likewise, a happy childhood in one’s family of origin (Chin, Hall, &Daiches, 2011; Deave & Johnson, 2008) and a large number of siblings (Lemieux,1997) can increase the desire to be a parent. For men, parenthood is a sign of‘social achievement’ (Toulemon & Lapierre-Adamcyk, 2000, p. 325). Furthermore,various research studies indicate that stability in the conjugal relationship and theshared project of having a child are decisive elements for men (Langdridge et al.,2005; Le Voyer, 2003; Miller, 1994; Miller & Pasta, 1995; Purewal & van denAkker, 2007; Thompson & Lee, 2011; Von der Lippe, 2010).

The socio-economic context can delay fatherhood for a number of reasons(Redshaw & Martin, 2009; Toulemon & Lapierre-Adamcyk, 2000). Men arestudying longer (Dandurand et al., 1997; Lemieux, 1997). While a higher educationreinforces some men’s desire to be a father, others experience a decrease in desire(Toulemon & Lapierre-Adamcyk, 2000). Men seek to have a higher income beforeconceiving a child (Dandurand et al., 1997; Lemieux, 1996; Thompson & Lee,2011). Job stability can influence the decision to have a child (Dandurand et al.,1997; Lemieux, 1997; Le Voyer, 2003; Thompson & Lee, 2011; Toulemon &Lapierre-Adamcyk, 2000), while entering the job market can delay parenthood(Redshaw & Martin, 2009).

Time influences the decision to have a child in various ways. The time factorcan be related directly to age (Dandurand et al., 1997; Iacovou & Tavares, 2011;Miller & Pasta, 1995), or to the timing of having a child (Miller & Pasta, 1995;Morgan & Rindfuss, 1999; Purewal & van den Akker, 2007; Thompson & Lee,2011).

This study draws on and extends previous research in regards to fathers (Brad-ley, Mackenzie, & Boath, 2004; Forste, 2002; Thompson & Lee, 2011) by aimingto explore, through retrospective qualitative research, fathers’ perceptions of the keyelements contributing to their decision of conceiving a first child. We aim to iden-tify how the decision to conceive a child is, for men, a developmental process, suchas described by Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological theory (Bronfenbrenner & Evans,

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2000; Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 1998). Bronfenbrenner’s theory stipulates thathuman development is the result of the reciprocal interactions between an individ-ual’s personal characteristics and his or her environment’s characteristics. Time isconsidered as influential, in regards to the stage in life an individual has reached.Significant interactions, whether owing to their intensity, continuity, frequency,duration or synchronicity, are the driving forces behind an individual’s development.This study is part of a larger study pertaining to the transition to fatherhood in aFrench-speaking sample of men (deMontigny, Lacharité, & Devault, 2012).

Method

Participants

The participants were 12 French-speaking first-time fathers of one child aged 9–19months (X = 11 months), originating from the province of Quebec, in Canada. Themean age of the 12 fathers was 29 years (range = 21–35), whereas the mean age ofthe mothers was 27 (range = 21–32). The average length of the conjugal relation-ship was 4 years (range = 2–7). Ten fathers worked full-time, while two were stu-dents. Half had university degrees while half had a family income of less thanCAN$50,000. All fathers had attended the birth of their child. The majority of themhad taken parental leave of 5 weeks, which is the norm in Quebec.

Procedure

The research project was approved by the Research Ethics Committee of theUniversité du Québec en Outaouais (#1068). Informed consent was obtained fromthe fathers after the procedure was explained. The fathers were recruited in thehospital in the postnatal period, by key informers, and later contacted by telephoneto confirm participation.

Data collection

Data were collected in 2011, through a 60-min semi structured audio-tapedinterview which was developed by the Transition to Fatherhood Research Team

Table 1. Interview guide.

1. Socio-demographic information2. Tell me how you met the woman who became the mother of your child? (Probes:

length of relationship, significant events)3. How did the decision to conceive a child come about in your life? (Probes: who

initiated the decision, how did the father feel about it)4. Did you want to become a father at the time when the decision was made? (Or

when the pregnancy was found out; planned pregnancy, desired or not?)5. What were your initial reactions when you first learned about the pregnancy?

(Probes: later on?; how did the mother react?)6. If a man you know was making the decision to conceive a child, what would you

tell him? (Probes: opinions, piece of advice, personal experience)

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(deMontigny et al., 2012). The interview was conducted at home, in the absence ofthe mother. The fathers received CAN$20 in compensation. (Table 1)

Data analysis

Interviews were transcribed verbatim. The analysis was carried out according to theprocedure described by Huberman and Miles (2003). First, after a few careful read-ings of each transcription, raw data were reduced by selecting relevant sections,identifying them with emerging meaningful themes, or codes, that related to thestudy’s objective. Then, codes were compared, similar ones were grouped and dif-ferent ones were classified in the form of a network (thematic tree). Finally, mean-ing was drawn from the organised data and validated by another expert from ourteam who compared initial data with final conclusions.

Results

Four themes emerged, representing how fathers’ perceptions of the key elementswhich contributed to their decision to conceive a first child were grouped: (i) per-sonal characteristics, pertaining to characteristics of the fathers as individuals; (ii)interpersonal characteristics, concerning characteristics of the fathers’ relationshipswith significant others; (iii) socio-economic characteristics, pertaining to characteris-tics of the fathers’ environment; and (iv) temporal characteristics, related to charac-teristics of the period of time in the fathers’ life when the decision to conceive wastaken. (Figure 1)

Personal characteristics

Two subthemes pertained to the personal characteristics which fathers mentioned astriggers for their decision: (a) long-standing desire for and love of children, and (b)a desire for family and personal continuity.

Long-standing desire for and love of children

Fathers spoke of a long-standing desire for and love of children: ‘when I was 16,[...] my goal in life was not to be a nurse or something like that, it was to have afamily, a close-knit family’ (Charly).

Figure 1. Thematic tree.

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Desire for family and personal continuity

Fathers mentioned the desire for family and personal continuity as personal charac-teristics that triggered the decision to have a child, highlighting the importance oftransmitting values and knowledge. For some, this flowed from the close relation-ship they had with their own fathers, while for others it was the opposite: ‘It’s alsothat I would like to give something that I never had. I find that my own father wasnever really present. [...] I suffered a lot from that when I was young. And I wouldreally like to change things and give someone a real chance’, said Nick, for whomthe child also represented self-fulfilment. Justin said: ‘I could not see myself with-out a child. [...] Well, I think I would have been lacking something.’ Emphasis wasalso placed on continuing the family name, to prevent it from disappearing.

Interpersonal characteristics

Four subthemes identified how interpersonal characteristics were driving forcesbehind the fathers’ decisions: (a) finding ‘the right person’ to be the mother; (b)sharing plans and priorities with their spouse; and (c) being influenced by theirpartner and their social network.

Finding the right person

Fathers mentioned the importance of having found ‘the right person’ to be themother of their child. Mark even remembered that there had been a question ofhaving a child in an earlier relationship, but that he had not ‘felt the rhythm. Me, Ikept it up in the air. Anyway, it was the kind of relationship that you’re in, but thatyou know you’re not going to stay in.’ According to Justin, ‘I think that we knewwhen we were at university that we were made to be together because it was likeeasy to see that she was the mother of my child.’

Sharing plans and priorities with their spouse

Fathers spoke of the importance of planning a life together, and of sharing prioritiescentred on the family. Nick said: ‘I was looking for something serious. [...] Iwanted to establish something solid. To have something in life.’ Mark said: ‘Weprobably had the same idea about how we wanted to live our lives.’ Moreover, thecouples shared plans that influenced the timing of the pregnancy: ‘Since we haveplans for the future, trips, going elsewhere, we thought it would be good, since wewanted to have babies, to have them before because we want to go to Africa,’ Markadded.

Being influenced

Fathers identified two specific sources of influence in their decision: their spouseand their social network, namely friends who were already parents. Although all thepregnancies had been planned, not all the fathers had been the instigators. The deci-sions of three of the fathers had been influenced by their partners, especially withrespect to timing. Nick had made a compromise: ‘Me, personally, I would havewaited a little. But maybe to make her, well, not to make her happy, but maybe to

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be accommodating, to compromise [...] Maybe the fear of losing her, maybe.’ Asfor Mark, if his partner had not wanted children, he would not have even enteredinto the relationship.

The social network had also influenced the decision to have a child. Because allof Andrew’s friends had children, ‘it helps you fit in a bit.’ David had moved toget closer to his social network so that he would feel more ‘secure’. This influencewas not felt by all fathers, as some were more socially isolated. According to Jer-emy, ‘I don’t really have any friends. I didn’t go out much. Me, I’m into the familyunit.’

Socio-economic characteristics

Socio-economic characteristics include three subthemes: (a) having the financialresources, (b) having job security, and (c) purchasing a house.

Having the financial resources

The couple’s financial situation had been a concern for a number of the fathersbefore the child arrived, and was still a source of worry. For one of the fathers, itwould have been preferable to delay conception in order to establish better eco-nomic and job security. Giving up a professional training course for a higher-payingjob was a source of frustration for that father. For another, the beginning of a newjob led to a reduction in family outings and having to give up parental leave.Charly said he would like to be a stay-at-home father, but does not do so becausehis salary is higher than his partner’s. Gabriel received financial support from hisparents. He was not worried that his spouse’s income was lower during her mater-nity leave: ‘One of our two salaries was a luxury. It’s just one less luxury, that’sall.’ This positive attitude was shared by a small number of fathers, who said theyhad planned their financial resources and savings before the child arrived.

Having job security

Job security was also an important element for fathers in the decision to have achild. Gabriel left his former job because he was doing too much overtime: ‘Atsome point, when you want to have children, well, work has a beginning and anend.’ Nick’s career change and return to studies occurred in a tense atmosphere andunder pressure from his spouse. Only one father mentioned the importance of com-pleting one’s education before having a child.

Purchasing a house

All of the couples had lived together before having a child, but for different lengthsof time. Some had really accelerated the process. Gabriel and his partner had dated,lived together, married, bought a house, changed jobs, moved and finally had ababy all in the space of two years. The purchase of a house was thus a decisive ele-ment in the decision to have a child. Mark even went so far as to say that it was a‘triggering factor yes, because we would not have had a child in a condo [...] Ithink that it, it was a trigger in the sense that we were in an environment that was

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really favourable.’ The neighbourhood, the environment and proximity to the work-place were important for most of the fathers. According to Danny, purchasing ahome created conflict between him and his spouse because they have only oneincome: ‘It took me a little time to get used to the idea that we were not rich butthat we were okay. Finally, I got over it. In fact, I got over it so well that, eventhough we have only one income, we decided to start looking for a house, and thenwe found one last week, so everything is turning out fine.’ For Sandy, renovatingthe house was a priority before having a child.

Temporal characteristics

The right timing stood out as a temporal characteristic. More precisely, the righttiming related to (a) age (or the father’s biological clock), and to (b) their readinessto step into another stage, had influenced fathers’ decisions to have a child.

Right timing because of their age

Fathers in this study experienced a sense of urgency to conceive a child, related totheir own age. For example, Nick and his partner had dated for three months, andthen moved in together, feeling pressed for time: ‘If it’s sure to work out, it willwork out. If there’s something, you’ll know soon enough. In the end, you’ve got notime to waste when you’re 30. Say, you want to meet someone, have a family. Youwant it to work out, in the end. So that’s why I said let’s go for it.’

Right timing because of their readiness to step into a new stage

The feeling of having experienced everything and being ready to step to anotherstage was also a motivation to have a child. For David, ‘the timing was perfect andthat was the step to follow.’ Mark summed it up: ‘Our lifestyle lent itself to thattoo.’ Gabriel corroborated: ‘So, in the end, why be a father, well that’s it, it’s that,as for me, that’s where I am in my life.’

Discussion

This study aimed to identify fathers’ perceptions of the key elements which contrib-uted to their decision to conceive a first child. Four global themes were identified,encompassing 10 subthemes. The main contribution of this study was to identifythat for fathers, the decision to conceive a child is a developmental process, such asdescribed by Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological theory (Bronfenbrenner & Evans,2000; Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 1998). In this study, data analysis has revealedthat, for fathers, the decision to conceive arises when specific personal, interper-sonal and contextual characteristics are attained, at a given time in their lives. Forthese fathers, personal characteristics included a long standing desire to become afather and to assure continuity of the family name. It has been found that men’sdecisions to conceive stem from the desire to ensure the family name survives, toassure continuity (Le Goff & Ryser, 2010). In that respect, the men in the presentstudy were no different. However, what stands out here is that the desire to becomea father was ingrained long before these men had met their partner, to the pointthat, in some cases, it had influenced the choice of a partner, as they required a

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spouse who shared their dreams. The fathers’ personal characteristic of desiring toconceive a child was then a driving force, that was, in a sense, influenced by con-textual characteristics, but in another sense, influenced the fathers’ other decisions.

Among the interpersonal characteristics, the fathers’ desire for children wasstrengthened by certain predominant conditions, including that of having found theright partner. The fathers had trouble defining the ‘right person’: the concept israther vague and seems to be constructed by their intuitions. Interestingly, the ‘rightperson’ was not necessarily someone with whom the man had been in a relationshipfor a long time, which can be seen from the fact that some had been in long-termrelationships but had never felt that they were with the right person. Here again thesharing of plans and priorities with the right person stood out as a characteristicsupporting the decision to conceive. Dandurand et al. (1997) also mention theimportance of the spouses’ aspirations being compatible and Von der Lippe (2010)has shown that fathers go through a personal motivational process that leads themto be ready to become a father. Some fathers had experienced a series of changes intheir lives just before the transition to fatherhood. This was also observed by Lemi-eux (1997). It seems that a series of actions have to be performed by a man inorder to feel ready and that this occurs over a very short period. For more than halfthe fathers – but not the same ones – the couple’s financial situation, the purchaseof a house and job security were deciding factors in their decision process.

More than half of the fathers in the sample were isolated and very often theironly source of social support was their spouse. This has proven to be commonoccurrence during the transition to fatherhood (deMontigny, Lacharité, & Amyot,2006) and illustrates the importance of health-care professionals paying greaterattention to fathers and establishing initiatives to support them (deMontigny &Lacharité, 2008).

These 12 fathers desired and planned the arrival of their first baby. In contrastto discourses that position men as less interested in family issues (Lee & Owens,2002), the participating fathers articulated both definite and detailed plans for repro-duction, similar to Thompson and Lee’s results (2011). The men felt no ambiva-lence, aside from one who would have preferred delaying the arrival but finallyaccepted his spouse’s decision. Aside from this father, only two others mentionedtheir partner’s influence as a deciding factor, which differs from findings in the liter-ature review, where women are often depicted as initiating the decision for concep-tion (Biblarz & Stacey, 2010; Dandurand et al., 1997; Miller, 1994).

Limitations

This research has some limitations. The data were collected retrospectively, from asample of men who were already fathers. This might have coloured the retrospec-tive accounts being provided. All the pregnancies had been planned, but this didnot prevent the fathers from sharing their misgivings and reluctance. Unfortunately,the study failed to gather information on fathers’ experiences in their families andin their couples that could have influenced their decisions.

Conclusion

The purpose of the study was to explore fathers’ perceptions of the key elementscontributing to their decision to conceive a first child. Four general themes were

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identified: (i) personal characteristics, pertaining to characteristics of the fathers asindividuals; (ii) interpersonal characteristics, concerning characteristics of thefathers’ relationships with significant others; (iii) socio-economic characteristics,pertaining to characteristics of the fathers’ environments; and (iv) temporalcharacteristics, related to characteristics of the period of time in fathers’ lives whenthe decision to conceive was taken. The discussion shed light on how the fathers’decisions to conceive were developmental consequences of the interactions of thesecharacteristics. As such, this article contributes to an initial modelling of French-speaking first-time fathers’ experiences. This study also pinpoints the need to com-pare, from a developmental viewpoint, mothers’ and fathers’ perceptions of thedecision to conceive to better understand contradictions and similarities in theirexperiences. For clinicians, this study can instruct pre-conception marital counsel-ling by shedding light on the fact that the decision to conceive is, for fathers, adevelopmental result which arises when certain conditions are met. Thus clinicianscan provide better support for men who are making decisions about conception byhelping them to identify the elements that are relevant to them in their own lives(Langdridge et al., 2005).

AcknowledgementsThe authors would like to thank the research assistants from the Fatherhood and InfantFeeding Project, especially Eric D. Vachon, Research Coordinator, for their support withrespect to data collection and Laurence deMontigny Gauthier for her support withpreparation of this manuscript. We also wish to thank participating fathers for theirgenerosity with their time in a demanding period of transition.

The authors declare that they have no conflict of interest. They declare that this researchwas funded by a grant from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council ofCanada, 410-2009-0640.

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