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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT 1+2

11Elements of conflict2DEFINITIONConflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards and interference from the other party in achieving their goal.

33Interpersonal ConflictElements of conflict:An expressed strugglePerceived incompatible goalsPerceived scarce rewardsInterferenceInterdependence44 a)Expressed StruggleIt is through communicative behaviour that conflict is recognised, expressed experienced and managed. Conflict is often identified when one party openly disagrees with the other.Sometimes an interpersonal struggle is expressed by avoidance.5 b)Perceived Incompatible Goals Opposing goals are a fact of life. Not all goals are incompatible.

c)Perceived Scarce Rewards When rewards are perceived as scarce, an expressed struggle may be initiated. Some rewards that are scarce or seen as scarce are love, promotion, jobs, respect, care, positions, money, power, self-esteem and land.6Perceived Scarce RewardsLovePromotionJobsRespectCarePositions7MoneyPowerSelf-esteemLand8 d)Interference

Clarifies for the conflicting parties that the conflict is engaged. Exists because we are interdependent on one another.

e)Interdependence

Conflicting parties engage in an expressed struggle and interfere with one another because they are interdependent.Each persons choices affect the other because conflict is a mutual activity. In all conflicts, interdependence carries elements of competition and cooperation.9Interdependence carries elements of:competition cooperation

Most relationships move back and forth between degrees of independence and interdependence

10While still in competition with each other for promotions, they also must define for themselves a workable relationship that enhances desired goals for both of them.

At times, there will be an emphasis on me [what I want / my separateness], while at other times, we [our nature as a unit] - becomes the focus of attention.]11List one element of positive conflict and one element of negative conflict.

Positive conflictEncourages change or allows for clarification of ideas.Negative conflictDoes not encourage communication and carries with it resentment and stress.12Scenario 1: Two friends may both be avoiding each other and are aware that they are engaging in avoidance because both think, I dont want to see him for a few days because of what he did.

Element of conflict: Expressed struggle1313Scenario 2: The head cashier of a company said, All our problems would be solved if we could just get some carpet, since everyones feet get tired; were the ones who have to stand up all day. But management wont spend a cent on us. Her statement of incompatible goals was clear: carpet vs. no carpet.

After some probing, another goal emerged. She began to talk about how no one noticed when her staff had done good work and how the high-ups only noticed when lines were long and mistakes were made.She then said, How about some compliments once in a while? No one says anything nice. They dont even know were here.

Her stated goals have changed to include not only the carpet, but self-esteem and increased notice by management a significant deepening of the goal statement. Both goals are real, carpets and self-esteem. But the first goal may be incompatible with the managements desire, while the second may not.

Element of conflict: Perceived incompatible goals1414Scenario 3: Close friends often think that if their best friend likes someone else too, then the supply of affection available to the original friend will decrease. This may or may not be so, but the perception that affection is scarce may well create genuine conflict between the friends.Element of conflict: Perceived scarce rewards1515Scenario 4: Often, children fight with one another over the perceived scarcity of their teachers attention. Or they fight with the teacher, resulting in a gain of that resource attention. The child would rather get negative attention than none at all.

Element of conflict: Perceived scarce rewards1616Scenario 5: You refuse to cooperate with your housemate.

Element of conflict: Interference1717Scenario 6: Your parents do not send you the money you are expecting.

Element of conflict: Interference1818Types of Conflict

CONFLICTS arises when opinions, values, expectation or needs differ.1919Both constructive conflict and destructive conflict can be classified into four types. They are: Internal Conflict Within the individualNeeds not metUnable to accept a particular experience or feeling the situation generatesCaused by internal emotions

20External Conflict Between peopleCan cause incidents with othersMisunderstandings and bad feelingsUncomfortable with person(s) concerned

21Realistic Conflict Can be resolved if parties are willingCan produce positive resultsAcknowledges opposing interests/needsRealistic conflict management may lead to better relationships

22Unrealistic Conflict Cannot be resolved since parties are not open to changeNo room for negotiationBased on differences in values and attitudesArises from ignorance, traditions and prejudice

23ActivityWork in pairs and share with the tutorial group an interpersonal conflict found in one of the following situations:a) In a familyb) Between two studentsc) Between worker and superior

24Types of Conflict

Identify the type of conflict arising from each situation below.Ah Seng and Benny have very different personalities but they manage to work things out.John expects all his colleagues to be meticulous because he is a perfectionist.

25Types of Conflict

Mary and Siew Ling are not on speaking terms because of a small misunderstanding.

A job interviewer believes arts students tend to be creative while engineering students tend to be pragmatic.Ali has difficulty explaining to his grandparents the lifestyle of teenagers today.

26Approaches to Conflict

2727Many people regard conflict as a battle to win or a situation to avoid

28Communication is essential in conflict resolution2929Benefits of ConflictEngaging in conflict can have positive effects on relationships and organisations

Conflict fosters an awareness that problems exist. Conflict raises awareness of what is important to individuals.30Discussing conflicting views can lead to better solutions and clarifications of important problems and issues.

Challenging old assumptions can lead to changes in outdated practices and processes. 31Conflict leads to authentic communication helps people to be real, for example, it motivates them to participate.

Conflicts helps individuals develop understanding and learn how to recognise and benefit from their differences.32Conflict becomes destructive when it hampers productivity, lowers morale, causes more and continued conflicts and causes inappropriate behaviours. 33Destructive Conflict

The conflict isnt the problem it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.34The term conflict management implies that conflict is not an on or off phenomenon

Conflict-handling behaviour is not a static procedure. It is a process that requires flexibility and continual evaluation to be truly productive and effective. 35Communication behaviour is at the root of both creating and managing conflict.

Communication creates conflict. Communication reflects conflict. Communication is the vehicle for the destructive or productive management of conflict. 36To handle conflicts more productively, we can consider the following five As which integrate both conflict theory and interpersonal communication skills:a.Assessmentb.Acknowledgementc.Attituded.Actione.Analysis37ASSESSMENTDuring this initial stage, allow yourself time to calm and to evaluate the situation

You need to determine the true source of the conflict and gather appropriate information or documentation 38Assess the points you are willing or unwilling to compromise on and what the other party wants.

Make a preliminary determination of the appropriate conflict-handling behaviour for the situation, for the relationship, and for the environment 39Communication styles of conflict-handling behaviour

AvoidingAccommodatingCompetingCompromisingCollaborating40Avoiding

We often avoid when we dont want to get involved or we decide its not worth the effort to pursue. Its important to pick your battles since they cant all be fought and won. Avoiding is an appropriate conflict-handling style to use if you are too busy with more important concerns and if your relationship with the other party is unimportant.

41Avoiding/Withdrawing A turtle is a symbol for the avoiding style because it can avoid everything by pulling its head and legs into its shell to get away from everyone.

4242Accommodatinga.When one party in a conflict genuinely does not care about the outcome of the conflict.b.When you find yourself in conflict over a fairly unimportant issue.c.When you do not want to strain your relationship with the other party. 43AccommodatingA chameleon is a symbol of the accommodating style because it changes its color to match the color of its environment. By doing so, the chameleon fits quietly into its environment.

4444A person who chooses competing as a conflict-handling style will Put his interest before anyone elses interest.Maximise reaching ones own goals or getting the problem solved at the cost of the other partys goals or feelings.45CompetingA lion can be a symbol of a competitive style. The lions roar helps the lion satisfy its interest.

4646Compromising When individuals compromise in order to resolve a conflict, they are willing to give and take with others. They may find some middle ground and work out an agreement or solution that is partially satisfactory to both parties, but completely satisfactory to neither. 47CompromisingA zebra can be a symbol for the compromising style. Its unique look seems to indicate that it didnt care if it was a black horse or a white horse, so it split the difference and chose black-and-white stripes.

4848Collaborating

Collaboration occurs when parties cooperatively work together until a mutually agreeable solution is found 49When individuals collaborate, they are interested in seeing that everyones wants are met fully. They tend to consider themselves a team. They work creatively and are solution-oriented. 50CollaboratingA dolphin usually chooses a collaborating style. They use whistles and clicks to communicate with each other to catch food cooperatively and to summon help.

5151ACKNOWLEDGMENTOne should acknowledge and recognise that the other partys perspectives his beliefs, goals, values and personality traits -may differ from his own. 52Attitude

Action

Listen Well

Show empathyquestioningparaphrasingrole reversal

5353Watch your verbal communication (language style)

avoid overly vague or broad statementsavoid ridicule and exaggerationsavoid threatening statementsavoid hostile and sarcastic remarks54To handle a disagreement, seek first to understand, then to be understood. What can you say to the other party if you want to follow this principle? I see that we look at this issue from different perspectives. While I want to share my needs and views with you later, let me first focus on your thoughts, needs and observations.55As we are listening to the other party during a disagreement, we should resist the tendency to interrupt with objections no matter how unfounded some of the comments may be, or to bring up our viewpoints and concerns.56Appropriate and more productive questions can be asked during a conflict.a.If I understand you correctly, youre upset with my tone of voiceb.Do you feel that there is only one way to resolve this dispute?57ParaphrasingParaphrasing demonstrates a willingness to attend to and to acknowledge the concerns of others. If I understand you correctly, you are upset because you feel I interrupt you too much or Do you feel that I interrupt you too often? 58The use of I statements may help as it is a clear statement of what you feel or want. The party concerned receives a clear non-judgemental evaluative message and is more likely to co-operate instead of oppose you. So, instead of saying You are so inconsiderate when, you can use an I-statement and say : I feel upset when.. 59Watch your non-verbal communication

Recognise relative power60In disagreements, people should focus on their needs rather than on their positions.Even if you are in the position to decide, respect the right of the other party. This way, conflicts can be better managed 61AnalysisConsider if:the concerns of all articulated and considered;decisions can be implemented quickly and/ or effectively;the short- or long-term effects of the solution are viable; andthe relationship between the conflicting parties has improved.62FINALLY:Learning to disagree amicably and work through problems is perhaps one of the most important interpersonal skills we can develop.

a. Individuals need to consider expressed differences as the potential for creativity and growth.b. Individuals can learn how to keep communication lines open and solve challenges when things go wrong. 63Activity:Consider the following brief exchanges between two parties. Think about what verbal strategies you can use to turn them into more productive exchanges.(a) Husband: Ever since youve gone back to work, the house hasnt been as clean as Id like it to be. Wife: Youve got two hands and two legs. If you want a clean house, why dont you use them to push a broom or carry out the garbage!64Activity:Suggested solution:This is a case of trivialisation of the problem through joking or sarcasm. This kind of exchange may escalate into a full-blown conflict. If a clean house is the husbands ultimate aim, he can manage the conflict by responding with a comment such as, Im sorry I criticised your work. Lets discuss what we can do to get the house cleaned.

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