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CONSUMERISM & FACEBOOK Prudent use of Pocket Money, Mobile Phones and Social Networking on the Internet
CONSUMERISM & FACEBOOKPrudent use of Pocket Money, Mobile Phones and Social Networking on the Internet
This talk is about we being
HAPPY
and teaching our sons how to be
HAPPY!
Introduction
1. We all want to be happy. You cannot not want to be happy.
2. But our happiness has the peculiarity that it has to be ORDERED.
3. Order however necessarily implies a final end; a purpose; AN IDEAL.
We choose to go... not because it is
easy, but because it is hard; because
that goal will serve to measure and
organize the best of our energies and
skills…John F. Kennedy
1917-196335th president of the USA
An ideal is something…
greater than one's own self. It is
something which, by the sheer force of its beauty and
nobility, … Msgr. Cormac Burke21st March 1927-?
civil lawyer, priest, canon lawyer
…makes a person want to get away from himself, to forget himself, so as to defend, to admire, to love, to serve, the ideal. The more one loves and serves a true ideal, the more one is ennobled, by being drawn upwards towards it. There are not all that many true ideals: love, family, country, God...
Serve!
Give ourselves…
Maturity
And an adult is not someone who can
take care of himself – plants can do that. An adult is one who
can take care of others.
James Stenson?
writer and educational consultant
One is mature when they realise they can
offend or please others and act in
consequence.
Dr. Margaret Ogola12th June 1958 – 21st Sept 2011
medical doctor, author
But because youCANNOT GIVE WHAT YOU DO NOT
HAVE,then we first need to learn
how to own ourselves.
The powers that help us to own ourselves are called the
VIRTUES
4. The ancients grouped the myriad of virtues under four main ones: prudence, justice, temperance and fortitude.
5. They also grouped the myriad of vices under seven main ones: pride, vanity, avarice (greed), envy, wrath, sloth, lust and gluttony.
6. Consumerism and Facebook tend to foster two vices that this talk will focus on: avarice and lust.
Consumerism & avarice
Peter Kreeftb. 1938/1939
professor of philosophy, author
[on avarice]
Avarice is a great unwisdom, a philosophical
foolishness, for it assumes that
happiness comes from possessing…
[attention] I have come more and
more to realise that it is being unwanted
that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience.
Bl. Mother Teresa1910-1997
Foundress of the Missionaries of Charity,
Nobel Peace Laureate 1979
Alexander the Great356-323 BC
King of Macedon
Alexander the Great… after conquering the
world and despairingly complaining that there
were no more worlds to conquer, …soon died;
but he directed that his bare hand would hang
out of his coffin, to show the world that you
can’t take it with you.
Practical ideas on avoiding Consumerism
Clifford C. Oluochb. 1967
teacher , author
[being vs. having]
The most important things in life are
people.
1. Common courtesy: e.g. greeting people including auxiliary staff; learning to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘excuse me’, ‘I’m sorry’, smiling, etc.
[the value of a smile] Elizabeth's start of joy at the Visitation emphasizes the gift
that can be contained in a mere
greeting, when it comes from a heart
full of God. Pope John Paul II18 May 1920 – 2 Apr 2005
Pope, theologian, author & dramatist
How often can the darkness of loneliness, oppressing a soul, be dispelled by the shining ray of a smile and a kind word! A good word is soon said; yet we find it difficult to utter. We are restrained by fatigue, we are distracted by worries, we are checked by a feeling of coldness or selfish indifference. Thus it happens that we
may pass by persons, although we know them, without looking at their faces and without realizing how often they are suffering from that subtle [neglect?], wearing sorrow which comes from feeling ignored. A cordial word, an affectionate gesture would be enough, and something would at once awaken in them: a sign of attention and courtesy can be a breath of fresh air in the
stuffiness of an existence oppressed by sadness and dejection. Mary's greeting filled with joy the heart of her elderly cousin Elizabeth.
2. Teaching our sons to forego certain things they have a right to, for the sake of strengthening their will-power and getting detached from things.
For example:Postponing a glass of water (at a meal)
or not taking it at all;Whenever we have a choice, taking
the worst for ourselves e.g. with fruits in a basket, pieces of chicken from the sufuria etc.;
Bearing a bit longer with the cold/heat;
Punctuality in following your timetable throughout the day;
Eating more of what we don't like and less of what we like;
Using the stairs instead of taking the lift;
Maintaining order in my room, tools,
clothes, books etc.; Avoiding looking at myself too many
times or for too long in the mirror; Not using sugar, sauces &
condiments; Leaving things in my room, in such a
way that the house-help has less work to do;
And so on…
3. Every several months, going through their closet with them and discarding items of clothing and apparel that they have not used for over a month.
4. Teaching them to make their possessions last (instead of buying new ones every so often).
5. Giving them some pocket money.
Generally speaking, it is a good idea to give them some pocket money.
It is also a good idea to give them (from time to time) a little less pocket money than they need.
How much should I give? Find out what he needs the pocket money for.
Teach them to use their money for others once in a while e.g. sadaka, Secret Santa…
During the holidays, make them work for their pocket money.
Teach them to save.
6. Never arguing with your spouse in front of your children.
[your own example; to husbands]
Your path to heaven has a name on it:
your wife’s.
St. Josemaria Escriva1902-1975
priest, civil lawyer, canon lawyer, Founder of Opus Dei
Facebookand lust
What is the main hazard of Facebook to our sons and to the youth in general?
It is cheap financially, It is expensive in time, and Exorbitant in morals (especially
purity).
And what is the magic spell that Facebook casts on the youth?
virtual friendships (ubiquitous and 24/7),
avatars (what I’d like to be seen as vs. what I really am)
anonymity and shamelessness.
Greatest among my concerns is the apparent lopsided corruption of girls more than boys.
[Aint I a Woman?]If the first woman God ever made was strong
enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! And now
they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Sojourner Truth1797-1883
American abolitionist and women's rights activist
If you would wish to corrupt a society, corrupt woman and unleash her on society.
If you would wish to improve society, improve woman and unleash her on society.
Silvano Borrusob. 13th May 1935
linguist, inventor & philosopher
Practical ideas on teaching the Virtue of Purity
1. Take better care of your daughters, nieces and god-daughters! Raise them into ladies – not women!
2. Teach your sons to esteem women – beginning with those in the same household: his own mother, the house-help, his sister…
Peter Kreeftb. 1938/1939
professor of philosophy, author
[on purity]
[3] …remember …God often withholds
from us the grace to avoid a lesser sin because we are in
danger of a greater sin.
To avoid pride, he sometimes lets us fall into lust, since lust is usually obvious, undisguised, and pride is not. So to conquer lust, we should focus less on lust and more on pride. Only when we are truly humble does God give us the grace to conquer lust.
And what is the best way of conquering pride?
Service to others.
[purity and prayer]
[4] "Man cannot live without joy; therefore when he is deprived of true spiritual joys it is
necessary that he become addicted to
carnal pleasures.“St. Thomas Aquinas
c. 1225 – 7 March 1274philosopher, theologian &
author
…spiritual joys such as prayer, cultural reading, philosophy, art, music, dance,
excursions, etc.
Peter Kreeftb. 1938/1939
professor of philosophy, author
[on purity] God is not a substitute
for sex, as Freud thought; sex is often a
substitute for God. The deepest passion of the soul is meant for God. When the
true God comes, the false gods go. To
conquer lust, forget about lust and love
God.
"A fly never enters a boiling pot."
5. Lay the axe to the root by operating on our very thoughts.
[i.e. to form the boys on matters of principle through correcting them, material to read, church or community programmes to attend etc.]
6. Realize that lust is an addiction and treat it as such. So what is the practical solution to this addiction/bad habit? Another (good) habit: grace. Prayer.
7. Do not encourage them to have one girlfriend only that they are "going steady" with. They should have very many girlfriends...
8. Make it clear that sex and the preliminaries to sex (kissing, fondling, ravishing touches, caressing) are completely out of bounds for unmarried people, young or old.
9. To have the guts to break harmful friendships (including on facebook).
10. Avoid dark corners and secluded areas. Be with people! Get at least one friend (of the same gender) to accompany you.
11. TV, computers & internet connections in open areas (never in their rooms).
12. Try and watch a few of their choice movies/series/TV programmes with them. Teach them to flip channels / forward when something nasty appears. Borrow (edited) DVDs from the School.
13. To avoid whiling away on the internet. Study, work, sports!
