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Self-Control
Lesson 3
Outrage: An act of violence and brutality; anger and resentment aroused by insult or injury.
Controlling Your Anger
Wrath: Strong, vengeful anger or indignation.
Fury: A person’s violent temper; intense, disordered & often destructive rage
Rage: A violent & uncontrolled anger intensely & openly displayed.
Resentment: A feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at real or imagined wrong.
What are emotions?
Emotions are feelings that include both positive and negative responses, which are triggered by what we experience.
What are some of the typical emotions we experience?Joy, anger, fear, love, hate, depression, passion, sorrow, excitement, embarrassment, thankfulness, and so forth.
How can we practice self-control regarding our emotions?By stopping, thinking about our thoughts and feelings, considering our options and then proceeding to make a right decision.
Today we will focus on the emotion of anger
and how you can practice self-control regarding anger.
Anger
Is a normal emotion. Can become
dangerous Can affect the way
you deal with others. Can affect the way
you feel about yourself.
No one ever makes you angry. You make a
conscious choice to become angry. Anger is a secondary emotion.
Anger is felt as a result of other emotions that have not been appropriately resolved.
Anger that is uncontrolled can turn to rage.
“We create our own anger by the way we think, our attitude and our choices.”
Facts About Anger
Anger Hurts
Anger that is uncontrolled has the potential of causing harm that cannot be repaired.
We experienced something that is bad or our
expectations were not met. The reasons we get angry are called
triggers. A trigger causes something to occur. A trigger could be a person, situation or
experience.
Question of the Day… Why do we get angry?
Don’t take everything so personally:
Taking the random comments of others personally.
This comes from our own insecurities. Insecurities are areas where we lack
confidence.
Feeling a little insecure?
Jumping to conclusions
Insecurities can lead to jumping to conclusions.
What do you see?
Click icon to add picture
Just like the optical illusion, we can see one
thing at first glance, but upon closer inspection, it becomes clear it is misleading.
Keep things in perspective. We sometimes make assumptions based on
insecurities.
Jumping to conclusions
[cont..]
Another anger trap lies in using abusive behavior as a means to resolve conflicts.
Conflicts are not excuses to become angry.
Work it Out!
BEHAVIOR
Feelings
Hot Thoug
hts
Triggers
Anger Sequence
There are three typical ways an angry person
responds:
To withdraw means to ignore the source of the anger.
Displacement: When angry you tend to store your anger and take it out on others or inanimate objects rather than handle your feelings in a straightforward way
Attack. When angry you tend to be verbally and physically aggressive.
No one can make you angry and no one can control your
anger for you. START controlling your anger.
Change your concept of anger. Common misconceptions:
Anger is an excuse to become physically or verbally aggressive.
Anger is a reason to withdrawal from those you care about. Anger is a reason to hurt yourself. Anger is a reason to get even.
Anger simply tells you that something is being said or done the you do not agree with.
You Are Responsible
Focus on cool thoughts.
Hot Cool
I am not going to make this a big deal
Just as long as I keep my cool, I’m in control.
I can agree to disagree
Somebody needs to slap him
This isn’t over.
Speak in a respectful tone of voice. Use “I” language to communicate your
feelings. Behave in a peaceful way. Use your positive character traits. If possible, walk away and take time out to
cool down. Talk to someone trusted.
Ways to Deal
Anger is normal. Anger can be dangerous. No one can make me angry. Anger is secondary. Conflicts are not an excuse. Feeling angry is the result of a series of steps. I can handle my anger.
What have I learned?