Copyright · Kiera Cass asserts the moral right to be iden- ... my Selection started, I’d...

Copyright

FirstpublishedintheUSAbyHarperCollins

Publishers,Inc.in2016

FirstpublishedinGreatBritainbyHarper-

CollinsChildren’sBooks,

adivisionofHarperCollinsPublishersLtd,

1LondonBridgeStreet,

LondonSE19GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

TheCrown

Copyright©2016byKieraCass

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reps,INC2016;JacketDesignbyErin

Fitzsimmons

4/467

KieraCassassertsthemoralrighttobeiden-

tifiedastheauthorofthework.

Acataloguerecordforthisbookisavailable

fromtheBritishLibrary.

AllrightsreservedunderInternationaland

Pan-AmericanCopyrightConventions.By

paymentoftherequiredfees,youhavebeen

grantedthenon-exclusive,non-transferable

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compiled,reverseengineered,orstoredinor

introducedintoanyinformationstorageand

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HarperCollins.

SourceISBN:9780007580248

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EbookEdition©2016ISBN:

9780007580255

Version:2016-04-07

ForGuydenandZuzu,

thebestlittlecharactersIevermadeup.

Contents

Cover

TitlePage

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter1

Chapter2

Chapter3

Chapter4

Chapter5

Chapter6

Chapter7

Chapter8

Chapter9

Chapter10

Chapter11

Chapter12

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Chapter13

Chapter14

Chapter15

Chapter16

Chapter17

Chapter18

Chapter19

Chapter20

Chapter21

Chapter22

Chapter23

Chapter24

Chapter25

Chapter26

Chapter27

Chapter28

Chapter29

Chapter30

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Chapter31

Chapter32

Chapter33

Chapter34

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

AlsobyKieraCass

AboutthePublisher

OceanofPDF.com“I’MSORRY,”ISAID,BRACINGmyselffortheinev-itablebacklash.WhenmySelectionstarted,

I’dpictureditendingthisway—withdozens

ofmysuitorsleavingatatime,manyofthem

unpreparedfortheirmomentinthespotlight

tobeover.Butafterthelastfewweeks,afterlearninghowkind,howsmart,howgenerous

somanyofthemwere,Ifoundthemass

eliminationalmostheartbreaking.

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They’dbeenfairwithme,andnowIhadto

beveryunfairtothem.Theliveannounce-

mentwouldmaketheeliminationofficial,

andtheyallhadtowaituntilthen.

“Iknowit’sabrupt,butgivenmymother’s

precariouscondition,myfatherhasasked

metotakeonmoreresponsibilities,andI

feeltheonlywaytomanagethatistoscale

downthiscompetition.”

“Howisthequeen?”Haleasked,swallow-

inghard.

Isighed.“Shelooks…shelookspretty

http://oceanofpdf.com

bad.”

Dadhadbeenhesitanttoletmevisither,

butIhadfinallywornhimdown.Iunder-

stoodhisreluctancetheinstantIsawher,

asleep,themetronomeofherheartbeat

keepingtimeonthemonitor.She’djust

comeoutofsurgery,wherethedoctorshad

toharvestaveinfromherlegtoreplacethe

oneinherchestthathadbeenworkedto

death.

12/467

Oneofthedoctorssaidtheyhadlosther

foraminutebutmanagedtogetherback.I

satbesideher,holdingherhand.Sillyasit

sounded,Ihadslouchedinmychair,certain

thatwouldmakehercometoandcorrectmy

posture.Itdidn’t.

“She’salivethough.Andmyfather…he’s

…”

Raoulplacedacomfortinghandonmy

shoulder.“It’sokay,YourHighness.Weall

understand.”

Iletmyeyesflitacrossthespace,mygaze

settlingoneachofmysuitorsforabreathasIcommittedtheirfacestomemory.

“Fortherecord,Iwasterrifiedofyou,”I

confessed.Therewereafewchucklesaround

theroom.“Thankyousomuchfortaking

thischance,andforbeingsograciouswith

me.”

Aguardentered,clearinghisthroattoan-

nouncehispresence.“I’msorry,mylady.It’snearlytimeforthebroadcast.Thecrew

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wantedtocheck,um”—hemadeafumbling

gesturewithhishand—“hairandstuff.”

Inodded.“Thankyou.I’llbereadyina

moment.”

Afterheleft,Iturnedmyattentionbackto

theboys.“Ihopeyou’llforgivemeforthis

groupgood-bye.Iwishyouallthebestof

luckinthefuture.”

Therewasachorusofmurmuredgood-

byesasIleft.OnceIwasoutsidethedoorsoftheMen’sParlor,Itookadeepbreathand

preparedmyselfforwhatwascoming.You

areEadlynSchreaveandnoone—literally,

noone—isaspowerfulasyou.

ThepalacewaseerilyquietwithoutMom

andherladiesscuttlingaroundandAhren’s

laughterfillingthehalls.Nothingmakesyou

quitesoawareofaperson’spresenceasthe

lossofit.

IheldmyselftallasImademywaydown

tothestudio.

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“YourHighness,”severalpeoplegreeted

measIcamethroughthedoorway,curtsying

andmovingoutofmyway,allthewhile

avoidinglookingdirectlyinmyeyes.I

couldn’ttellifitwasoutofsympathyorif

theyalreadyknew.

“Oh,”Isaid,glancinginthemirror.“Iam

abitshiny.Couldyou—?”

“Ofcourse,YourHighness.”Agirlexpertly

dabbedatmyskin,coveringmeinpowder.

Istraightenedthehighlacecollarofmy

gown.WhenI’dgottendressedthismorning,

blackseemedappropriate,consideringthe

overallmoodinthepalace,butIwas

secondguessingmyself.

“Ilooktooserious,”Iworriedaloud.“Not

respectableserious,butworriedserious.Thisisallwrong.”

“Youlookbeautiful,mylady.”Themakeup

girlsweptafreshsplashofcoloracrossmy

lips.“Likeyourmother.”

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“No,Idon’t,”Ilamented.“Notastitchof

herhairorskinoreyes.”

“That’snotwhatImean.”Thegirl,warm

andround,withwispsofcurlsfallingacross

herforehead,stoodbesidemeandgazedat

myreflection.“Seethere,”shesaid,pointingtomyeyes.“Notthesamecolor,butthe

samedetermination.Andyourlips,they

havethesamehopefulsmile.Iknowyou

haveyourgrandmother’scoloring,butyou’re

your

mother’s

daughter,

through

and

through.”

Istaredatmyself.Icouldalmostseewhat

shemeant.Atthismostisolatingmoment,I

feltalittlelessalone.

“Thankyou.Thatmeansagreatdealto

me.”

“We’reallprayingforher,mylady.She’sa

toughone.”

Igiggledinspiteofmymood.“Thatshe

is.”

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“Twominutes!”thefloordirectorcalled.I

walkedontothecarpetedset,smoothingout

mygownandtouchingmyhair.Thestudio

wascolderthanusual,evenunderthelights,

andgoosebumpsprickledatmyskinasI

tookmyplacebehindthelonepodium.

Gavril,slightlydresseddownbutstillvery

polished,gavemeasympatheticsmileashe

approached.“Areyousureyouwanttodo

this?I’mhappytodeliverthenewsforyou.”

“Thankyou,butIthinkIhavetodoiton

myown.”

“Allrightthen.How’ssheholdingup?”

“Okayasofanhourago.Thedoctorsare

keepingherasleepsoshecanheal,butshe

lookssobattered.”Iclosedmyeyesforamo-

ment,calmingmyself.“Sorry.Thishasmea

bitonedge.ButatleastI’mmanagingbetter

thanDad.”

Heshookhishead.“Ican’timagineany-

onetakingthisworsethanhim.Hiswhole

worldhashungonhersincetheymet.”

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Ithoughtbacktolastnight,tothewallof

photosintheirroom,andIthumbedthrough

allthedetailsthey’donlyrecentlydivulged

abouthowtheygottogether.Istillcouldn’t

seeanyrhymeorreasontofightingthrough

countlessobstaclesforloveonlytohaveit

leaveyousopowerlessintheend.

“Youwerethere,Gavril.Yousawtheir

Selection.”Iswallowed,stillunsure.“Doesitreallywork?How?”

Heshrugged.“YoursisthethirdI’veseen,

andIcan’ttellyouhowitworks,howalot-

terycanbringinasoulmate.Letmesaythis:YourgrandfatherwasnotexactlyamanIadmired,buthetreatedhisqueenasifshewas

themostimportantpersontowalktheplan-

et.Wherehewasharshwithothers,hewas

generouswithher.Shegotthebestofhim,

whichismorethanIcansayfor…Well,he

foundtherightwoman.”

Isquinted,curiousaboutwhathewas

omitting.IknewGrandpahadbeenastrict

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ruler,butcometothinkofit,thatwasthe

onlywayIknewhim.Daddidn’ttalkabout

himmuchasahusbandorfather,andI’dal-

waysbeenmuchmoreinterestedinhearing

aboutGrandma.

“Andyourdad?Idon’tthinkhehadaclue

whathewaslookingfor.Honestly,Idon’t

thinkyourmotherdideither.Butshewashis

matchineveryway.Everyonearoundthem

couldseeitlongbeforetheydid.”

“Really?”Iasked.“Theydidn’tknow?”

Hemadeaface.“Truthfully,itwasmore

thatshedidn’tknow.”Hegavemeapointed

look.“Afamilytrait,itseems.”

“Gavril,you’reoneofthefewpeopleIcan

confessthisto.It’snotthatIdon’tknow

whatI’mlookingfor.It’sthatIwasn’treadytolook.”

“Ah.Iwondered.”

“ButnowI’mhere.”

“Andonyourown,I’mafraid.Ifyou

choosetogothroughwiththis—andafter

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yesterday,noonewouldblameyouifyou

didn’t—onlyyoucanmakesuchanimport-

antchoice.”

Inodded.“Iknow.Whichiswhythisisso

scary.”

“Tenseconds,”thefloordirectorcalled.

Gavrilpattedmyshoulder.“I’mherein

whateverwayIcanbe,YourHighness.”

“Thankyou.”

Isquaredmyshouldersinfrontofthe

camera,tryingtolookcalmasthelight

beganglowingred.

“Goodmorning,peopleofIlléa.I,Princess

EadlynSchreave,amheretoaddresssome

recenteventsthathavetakenplaceinthe

royalfamily.Ishalldeliverthegoodnews

first.”Itriedtosmile,reallyIdid,butallIcouldthinkofwashowabandonedIfelt.

“Mybelovedbrother,PrinceAhrenSch-

reave,hasmarriedPrincessCamillede

SauveterreofFrance.Thoughthetimingof

theirweddingwasabitofasurprise,itinno

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waylessensourjoyforthehappycouple.I

hopeyouwilljoinmeinwishingthemboth

thehappiestofmarriages.”

Ipaused.Youcandothis,Eadlyn.

“Insaddernews,lastnight,mymother,

AmericaSchreave,queenofIlléa,suffereda

veryseriousheartattack.”

Ipaused.Thewordsfeltliketheyhadcre-

atedadaminmythroat,makingitharder

andhardertospeak.

“Sheisincriticalconditionandisunder

constantmedicalsupervision.Pleasepr—”

Ibroughtmyhandtomymouth.Iwasgo-

ingtocry.Iwasgoingtoloseitonnationaltelevision,andontopofeverythingAhren

hadsaidabouthowpeoplefeltaboutme,ap-

pearingweakwasthelastthingIwanted.

Ilookeddown.Momneededme.Dad

neededme.Maybe,inasmallway,eventhe

countryneededme.Icouldn’tdisappoint

them.Dabbingawaythetears,Iwenton.

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“Pleaseprayforherspeedyrecovery,aswe

alladoreherandstilldependonher

guidance.”

Ibreathed.Itwastheonlywaytogetfrom

anymomenttothenext.Breathein,breathe

out.

“Mymotherheldsuchgreatrespectforthe

Selection,which,asyouallknow,ledtomy

parents’longandhappymarriage.Assuch,

I’vedecidedtohonorwhatIknowwouldbe

herdeepestwishandcontinuewithmyown

Selection.

“Duetothestressplacedonourhousehold

inthelasttwenty-fourhours,IthinkitwisetocutmysuitorsdowntotheElite.Myfathernarrowedhisfieldtosixinsteadoftenbecauseofextenuatingcircumstances,andI

havedonethesame.Thefollowingsixgen-

tlemenhavebeeninvitedtostayoninthe

Selection:SirGunnerCroft,SirKileWood-

work,SirEanCabel,SirHaleGarner,SirFox

Wesley,andSirHenriJaakoppi.”

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Thesenameswereastrangelycomforting

thing,likeIknewhowproudtheywereof

thismomentandIcouldfeeltheglowofit,

evenfromadistance.

Itwasalmostdone.TheyknewAhrenwas

gone,thatmymothermightdie,andthatthe

Selectionwouldcarryon.Nowcamethe

newsIwasterrifiedtodeliver.Thanksto

Ahren,Iunderstoodexactlywhatmypeople

thoughtofme.Whatkindofresponsewould

Ireceive?

“Withmymotherinsuchadelicatestate,

myfather,KingMaxonSchreave,haschosen

toremainbyherside.”Heregoes.“Assuch,hehasnamedmeregentuntilhefeelsfitto

reclaimhistitle.Iwillmakealldecisionsofstateuntilfurthernotice.ItiswithaheavyheartthatIassumethisrole,butitgivesmegreatjoytobringanypeacetomyparents.

“Wewillhavemoreupdatesonallthese

mattersastheybecomeavailable.Thankyou

foryourtime,andgoodday.”

23/467

Thecamerasstoppedrolling,andImoved

justoffthestage,sittinginoneofthechairsthatwereusuallyreservedformyfamily.I

feltqueasyandwouldhavesattherefor

hourstryingtoregainmycomposureifI

thoughtIcouldgetawaywithit,butthere

wastoomuchtodo.Thefirstthingonthe

listwastocheckonMomandDadagain,

thenofftowork.AtsomepointtodayI

wouldhavetomeetwiththeEliteaswell.

AsIwenttoexitthestudio,Istopped

shortbecausemypathwasblockedbyarow

ofgentlemen.ThefirstfaceIsawwasHale’s.

Hisexpressionlitupasheheldoutaflower.

“Foryou.”

Ilookeddownthelineandsawtheyall

hadflowersintheirhands,somewithroots

stillnoticeablyattached.AllIcouldassume

wasthattheyhadheardtheirnamesonthe

announcement,rushedfromtheMen’sPar-

lortothegarden,andcomedownhere.

“Youidiots,”Isighed.“Thankyou.”

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ItookHale’sflowerandhuggedhim.“I

knowIsaidsomethingeveryday,”he

whispered,“butletmeknowifyouneedme

toupittotwo,okay?”

Iheldhimalittletighter.“Thanks.”

Eanwasnext,andthoughwe’donlyever

touchedduringthosestagedphotosofour

date,Ifoundmyselfunabletorefrainfrom

embracinghim.

“Igetthefeelingyouwerecoercedinto

this,”Imurmured.

“Itookminefromavaseinthehallway.

Don’ttellthestaffonme.”

Ipattedhisback,andhedidthesameto

me.

“She’llbeokay,”hepromised.“Youall

will.”

Kilehadprickedhisfingeronathornand

heldhisbleedinghandawkwardlyawayfrom

myclothesaswehugged,whichmademe

laughandwasperfect.

25/467

“Forsmiles,”HenrisaidasIaddedhis

flowertomymessybouquet.

“Good,good,”Ireplied,andhelaughedat

me.

EvenErikhadgottenmeaflower.I

smirkedabitasItookit.

“Thisisadandelion,”Itoldhim.

Heshrugged.“Iknow.Someseeaweed;

someseeaflower.Perspective.”

Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhim,andI

couldfeelhimlookingattheothersasIheldhim,seeminguncomfortabletobegetting

thesametreatmentastheyhad.

Gunnerswallowed,notabletosaymuch,

butheldmegentlybeforeImovedon.

Foxhadthreeflowersinhishand.“I

couldn’tpick.”

Ismiled.“They’reallbeautiful.Thanks.”

Fox’sembracewastight,likeheneeded

thesupportmorethantheothersdid.Iheld

ontohimasIlookedbackatmyElite.

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No,thiswholeprocessmadenosense,but

Icouldseehowithappened,howyourheart

couldgetsweptupintheendeavor.Andthat

wasmyhopenow:thatsomehowdutyand

lovewouldoverlap,andI’dfindmyself

happyinthemiddleofitall.

MOM’SHANDSFELTSOSOFT,almostpaperyina

way.Thefeelingmademethinkofhowwater

smoothedouttheedgesofastone.Ismiled,

thinkingshemusthavebeenaveryrough

stoneonceuponatime.

“Didyoueverusedtogetitwrong?”I

asked.“Saythewrongwords,dothewrong

things?”

28/467

Iwaitedforananswer,receivingnothing

butthehumofequipmentandthebeatof

themonitor.

“Well,youandDadusedtofight,soyou

musthavebeenwrongsometimes.”

Iheldherhandtighter,tryingtowarmit

inmine.

“Imadealltheannouncements.Now

everyoneknowsaboutAhrengettingmarried

andthatyou’realittle…indisposedatthe

moment.Icuttheboysdowntosix.Iknow

that’sabigcut,butDadsaiditwasokayandthathedidthatwhenitwashisturn,sono

onecangetupset.”Isighed.“Regardless,I

haveafeelingpeoplewillstillfindawaytogetupsetwithme.”

Iblinkedbacktears,worriedshe’dsense

howscaredIwas.Thedoctorsbelievedthat

theshockofAhren’sdeparturewasthecata-

lystforhercurrentcondition,thoughI

couldn’thelpbutwonderifI’dcontributedtoherstressdaily,likedropsofpoisonsosmall

29/467

someonedidn’trealizethey’dingested

somethingdangerousuntilithadovertaken

them.

“Anyway,I’mofftorunmyfirstadvisory

boardmeetingassoonasDadgetsback.He

saysitshouldn’tbetoodifficult.Honestly,IfeellikeGeneralLegerhadthetoughestjob

ofanyonetoday,tryingtogetDadtogoeat,

becausehefoughtsohardtostayherewith

you.Thegeneralwasinsistent,though,and

Dadfinallycaved.I’mgladhe’shere.GeneralLeger,Imean.It’skindoflikehavinga

backupparent.”

Iheldherhandalittletighterandleaned

in,whispering.“Pleasedon’tmakemeneeda

backupparent,though,okay?Istillneed

you.Theboysstillneedyou.AndDad…he

lookslikehemightfallapartifyouleave.Sowhenit’stimetowakeup,you’vegottacome

back,allright?”

30/467

Iwaitedforhermouthtotwitchorherfin-

gerstomove,anythingtoshowthatshe

couldhearme.Nothing.

JustthenDadtorethroughthedoorwith

GeneralLegeronhisheels.Iwipedatmy

cheeks,hopingnoonewouldnotice.

“See,”GeneralLegersaid.“She’sstable.

Thedoctorswouldcomerunningifanything

changed.”

“Allthesame,Iprefertobehere,”Dad

saidfirmly.

“Dad,youwerehardlygonetenminutes.

Didyoueveneat?”

“Iate.Tellher,Aspen.”

GeneralLegersighed.“We’llcalliteating.”

Dadshothimalookthatwouldhavebeen

threateningtosomebutonlymadethegen-

eralsmile.“I’llseeifIcansneaksomefoodinsoyouwon’thavetoleave.”

Dadnodded.“Lookoutformygirl.”

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“Ofcourse.”GeneralLegerwinkedatme,

andIstoodupandfollowedhimfromthe

room,lookingbackatMomjusttocheck.

Stillasleep.

Inthehallway,heheldoutanarmforme.

“Youready,mynot-quitequeen?”

Itookitandsmiled.“No.Let’sgo.”

Aswemadeourwaytotheboardroom,I

nearlyaskedGeneralLegerifhewouldtake

meforanotherlaparoundthefloor.Theday

feltsooverwhelmingalreadythatIwasn’t

sureIcoulddothis.

Nonsense,Itoldmyself.You’vesatinonthesemeetingsdozensoftimes.You’vealmostalwaysthoughtthesamethingsDad

hassaid.Yes,thisisyourfirsttimeleadingit,butthiswasalwayswaitingforyou.Andnooneisgoingtobehardonyoutoday,forgoodness’sake;yourmotherjusthada

heartattack.

Ipulledthedooropenwithpurpose,Gen-

eralLegertrailingbehindme.Imadesureto

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nodatthegentlemenasIpassed.Sir

Andrews,SirCoddly,Mr.Rasmus,anda

handfulofothermenI’dknownforyearssat

arrangingtheirpensandpaper.LadyBrice

lookedproudasshewatchedmesweep

aroundtomyfather’sspot,asdidthegeneralwhenhesettledintotheplacebesideher.

“Goodmorning.”Itookmyseatatthe

headofthetable,gazingdownatthethin

folderinfrontofme.Thankgoodnessthe

agendalookedlighttoday.

“Howisyourmother?”LadyBriceasked

solemnly.

Ishouldhavewrittenthisansweronasign

soIcouldstoprepeatingit.“She’sasleep

still.I’mnotsurehowserioushercondition

isatthemoment,butDadisstayingbyher

side,andwe’llbesuretoupdateeveryoneif

there’sanychange.”

LadyBricesmiledsadly.“I’msureshe’llbe

fine.Shealwayswasatoughone.”

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Itriedtohidemysurprise,butIdidn’t

realizeLadyBriceknewmymotherthatwell.

Intruth,Ididn’tknowthatmuchaboutLady

Bricemyself,buthertonewassosincere,I

washappytohaveherbesidemeatthe

moment.

Inodded.“Let’sgetthroughthissoIcan

tellhermyfirstdayonthejobwasatleast

slightlyproductive.”

Thereweregentlechucklesaroundthe

roomatthat,butmysmilequicklyfadedasI

readthefirstpagepresentedtome.

“Ihopethisisajoke,”Isaiddryly.

“No,YourHighness.”

IturnedmyeyestoSirCoddly.

“Wefeelthiswasadeliberatemovetode-

bilitateIlléa,andseeingasneitherthekingnorqueengavetheirconsent,Francehasessentiallystolenyourbrother.Thismarriage

istreasonous,sowehavenochoicebuttogo

towar.”

34/467

“Sir,Iassureyou,thiswasnottreasonous.

Camilleisasensiblegirl.”Irolledmyeyes,hatingtoadmitit.“It’sAhrenwho’stheromanticone,andIfeelcertainheurgedher

intothis,nottheotherwayaround.”

Iballedupthedeclarationofwar,unwill-

ingtoconsideritforanothermoment.

“Mylady,youcannotdothat,”SirAndrew

insisted.“TherelationsbetweenIlléaand

Francehavebeentenseforyears.”

“Thatismoreonapersonallevelthana

politicalone,”LadyBriceoffered.

SirCoddlywavedhishandintheair.

“Whichmakesthisallmuchworse.Queen

Daphneisbrandishingmoreemotionalsuf-

feringontheroyalfamilyundertheassump-

tionthatwewillnotrespond.Thistimewe

must.Tellher,general!”

LadyBriceshookherheadinfrustration

asGeneralLegerspoke.“AllIwillsay,Your

Highness,isthatwecanhavetroopsinthe

skyandonthegroundwithintwenty-four

35/467

hoursifyoucommandit.ThoughIcertainly

wouldn’t

advise

you

to

make

that

command.”

Andrewshuffed.“Leger,tellherthe

dangersshe’sfacing.”

Heshrugged.“Iseenodangerhere.Her

brothergotmarried.”

“Ifanything,”Iquestioned,“shouldn’ta

weddingbringourtwocountriescloser?Isn’t

thatwhyprincessesweremarriedofffor

years?”

“Butthosewereplanned,”Coddlystatedin

atonethatimpliedIwasalittletoonaivefortheconversationathand.

“Aswasthis,”Icountered.“Weallknew

AhrenandCamillewouldwedoneday.It

simplyhappenedsoonerthanexpected.”

“Shedoesn’tgetit,”hemutteredto

Andrews.

SirAndrewsshookhisheadatme.“Your

Highness,thisistreason.”

“Sir,thisislove.”

36/467

Coddlyslammedafistonthetable.“No

onewilltakeyouseriouslyifyoudonotact

decisively.”

Therewasabeatofsilenceafterhisvoice

stoppedechoingaroundtheroom,andthe

entiretablesatmotionless.

“Fine,”Irespondedcalmly.“You’refired.”

Coddlylaughed,lookingattheothergen-

tlemenatthetable.“Youcan’tfireme,Your

Highness.”

Itiltedmyhead,staringathim.“Iassure

you,Ican.There’snooneherewhooutranks

meatthemoment,andyouareeasily

replaceable.”

Thoughshetriedtobediscreet,IsawLady

Bricepurseherlipstogether,clearlydeterm-

inednottolaugh.Yes,Idefinitelyhadanallyinher.

“Youneedtofight!”heinsisted.

“No,”Iansweredfirmly.“Awarwouldadd

unnecessarystraintoanalreadystressful

momentandwouldcauseanupheaval

37/467

betweenusandthecountrywearenow

boundtobymarriage.Wewillnotfight.”

Coddlyloweredhischinandsquinted.

“Don’tyouthinkyou’rebeingtooemotional

aboutthis?”

Istood,mychairscreechingbehindmeas

Imoved.“I’mgoingtoassumethatyou

aren’timplyingbythatstatementthatI’m

actuallybeingtoofemaleaboutthis.Because,yes,Iamemotional.”

Istrodearoundtheoppositesideofthe

table,myeyestrainedonCoddly.“Mymoth-

erisinabedwithtubesdownherthroat,my

twinisnowonadifferentcontinent,andmy

fatherisholdinghimselftogetherbya

thread.”

Stoppingacrossfromhim,Icontinued.“I

havetwoyoungerbrotherstokeepcalmin

thewakeofallthis,acountrytorun,andsixboysdownstairswaitingformetoofferone

ofthemmyhand.”Coddlyswallowed,andI

feltonlythetiniestbitofguiltforthe

38/467

satisfactionitbroughtme.“So,yes,Iam

emotionalrightnow.Anyoneinmyposition

withasoulwouldbe.Andyou,sir,areanidi-ot.Howdareyoutrytoforcemyhandon

somethingsomonumentalonthegroundsof

somethingsosmall?Forallintentsandpur-

poses,Iamqueen,andyouwillnotcoerce

meintoanything.”

Iwalkedbacktotheheadofthetable.“Of-

ficerLeger?”

“Yes,YourHighness?”

“Isthereanythingonthisagendathat

can’twaituntiltomorrow?”

“No,YourHighness.”

“Good.You’realldismissed.AndIsuggest

youallrememberwho’sinchargeherebe-

forewemeetagain.”

AssoonasIfinishedspeaking,everyone

otherthanLadyBriceandGeneralLeger

roseandbowed—ratherdeeply,Inoted.

39/467

“Youwerewonderful,YourHighness,”

LadyBriceinsistedoncethethreeofuswere

alone.

“Iwas?Lookatmyhand.”Ihelditup.

“You’retrembling.”

Ipulledmyfingersintoafist,determined

tostopshaking.“EverythingIsaidwastrue,

right?Theycan’tforcemetosignadeclara-

tionofwar,canthey?”

“No,”GeneralLegerassuredme.“Asyou

know,therehavealwaysbeenafewmem-

bersoftheboardwhohavethoughtwe

shouldcolonizeinEurope.Ithinktheysaw

thisasanopportunitytotakeadvantageof

yourlimitedexperience,butyoudid

everythingright.”

“Dadwouldn’twanttogotowar.Theban-

nerofhisreignhasbeenpeace.”

“Exactly.”GeneralLegersmiled.“He’dbe

proudofhowyoustoodyourground.Infact,

IthinkImightjustgotellhim.”

40/467

“ShouldIgo,too?”Iasked,suddenlydes-

peratetohearthelittlemonitorannouncing

thatMom’sheartwasstillthere,stilltrying.

“Youhaveacountrytorun.I’llbringyou

anupdateassoonasIcan.”

“Thankyou,”Icalledasheexitedthe

room.

LadyBricecrossedherarmsonthetable.

“Feelingbetter?”

Ishookmyhead.“Iknewthisrolewould

bealotofwork.I’vedonemyshareofitandwatchedmydaddotentimeswhatIdid.But

Iwassupposedtohavemoretimetoget

ready.Tostartthejobnow,becausemy

mommightdie,istoomuch.Andwithinfive

minutesofbeingresponsible,Ihavetomake

adecisionaboutwar?I’mnotpreparedfor

this.”

“Okay,firstthingsfirst.Youdon’thaveto

beperfectyet.Thisistemporary.Yourmom

willgetbetter,yourdadwillcomebackto

work,andyouwillgobacktolearningwith

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thisgreatexperienceunderyourbelt.Think

ofthistimeasanopportunity.”

Iletoutalongbreath.Temporary.Oppor-

tunity.Okay.

“Besides,it’snotallcompletelyuptoyou.

Thisiswhatyouradvisersarefor.Granted,

theyweren’tmuchhelptoday,butwe’rehere

soyouaren’tnavigatingwithoutamap.”

Ibitmylip,thinking.“Okay.So,whatdoI

donow?”

“First,followthroughandfireCoddly.It

willshowtheothersyoumeanwhatyousay.

Idofeelsomewhatbadforhim,butIthink

yourfatheronlykepthimaroundtoplay

devil’sadvocateandhelphimseeallsidesofanissue.Trustme,hewon’tbesorely

missed,”sheconfesseddryly.“Second,con-

siderthistimeaperiodofhands-ontraining

foryourreign.Startsurroundingyourself

withpeopleyouknowyoucantrust.”

Isighed.“Ifeellikethey’vealljustleft

me.”

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Sheshookherhead.“Lookcloser.You

probablyhavefriendsinplacesyounever

expected.”

Again,Ifoundmyselfseeingherinanew

light.She’dstayedinherrolelongerthan

anyone;sheknewwhatDadwoulddecidein

mostsituations;andshewas,atthevery

least,anotherwomanintheroom.

LadyBricestaredintomyeyes,forcingme

tofocus.“Whodoyouknowwillalwaysbe

honestwithyou?Whowillbebyyourside,

notbecauseyou’reroyal,butbecauseyou’re

you?”

Ismiled,absolutelypositiveofwhereIwas

goingonceIleftthisroom.

“ME?”

“You.”

“Areyousure?”

IgrabbedNeenabytheshoulders.“Youal-

waystellmethetruth,evenifI’mnotexcitedtohearit.You’veputupwiththeworstof

me,andyou’retooclevertospendyourdays

foldingmylaundry.”

44/467

Shebeamed,blinkingtoquellhertears.“A

lady-in-waiting…whatdoesthateven

mean?”

“Well,it’samixofbeingacompanion,

whichyoualreadyare,andthenhelpingwith

thelessglamoroussideofmyjob,like

schedulingappointmentsandmakingsureI

remembertoeat.”

“IthinkIcanhandlethat,”shesaid,

smiling.

“Oh,oh,oh,and”—Iheldupmyhands,

preparingherforprobablythemostexciting

partofthejob—“itmeansyoudon’thaveto

wearthatuniformanymore.Sogochange.”

Neenachuckled.“Idon’tknowthatIhave

anythingappropriate.ButI’llmakesureto

getsomethingtogetherfortomorrow.”

“Nonsense.Justgothroughmycloset.”

Shegapedatme.“Ican’t.”

“Umm,youcanandyoumust.”Ipointed

tothewidedoors.“Getdressed,meetmein

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theoffice,andwe’llmakeitthrough

whatevercomesonedayatatime.”

Shenodded,and,asifwe’ddoneitathou-

sandtimes,shethrewherarmsaroundme.

“Thankyou.”

“Thankyou,”Iinsisted.

“Iwon’tletyoudown.”

Ipulledback,watchingher.“Iknow.By

theway,yourfirstjobistopickanewmaid

forme.”

“Notaproblem.”

“Excellent.I’llseeyousoon.”

Isweptfromtheroom,feelingbetter

knowingIhadpeopleonmyside.General

LegerwouldbemylinetoMomandDad,

LadyBricewouldbemychiefadviser,and

Neena

would

help

me

shoulder

the

workload.

Ithadbeenlessthanaday,andIalready

understoodwhyMomthoughtI’dneeda

partner.AndIstillintendedtofindone.I

justneededalittletimetofigureouthow.

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ThatafternoonIpacedworriedlyasIwaited

forKileoutsidetheMen’sParlor.Ofallmy

relationshipswiththeSelected,oursfeltthemostcomplicatedandyetthe

easiestplaceto

start.

“Hey,”hesaid,comingtoembraceme.I

couldn’thelpsmilingthinkingabouthowif

he’dtriedthatamonthago,I’dhavecalled

theguardsonhim.“Howareyoudoing?”

Ipaused.“It’sfunny—you’retheonlyone

who’sasked.”Westeppedapart.“I’mokay,I

think.AtleastIamaslongasI’mbusy.The

secondthingsslowdown,I’maballof

nerves.Dad’sawreck.Andit’skillingme

thatAhrenhasn’tcomeback.Ithoughthe

wouldforMom,buthehasn’tevencalled.

Shouldn’theatleasthavedonethat?”

Iswallowed,knowingIwasgettingtoo

workedup.

Kiletookmyhand.“Okay,let’sthinkabout

this.HeflewtoFranceandgotmarriedin

oneday.Therehastobeatonofofficial

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paperworkandotherstufftosortthrough.

Andthere’sachancehehasn’tevenheard

whathappened.”

Inodded.“You’reright.AndIknowhe

cares.Heleftmealetter,anditwastoohonestformetoquestionthat.”

“See,thereyougo.Andlastnightyourdad

lookedlikehewastwosecondsawayfrom

needingtobecheckedintothehospitalwing

himself.Beingwithyourmomandmonitor-

ingherprobablygiveshimafeelingofcon-

trolwhenthere’sabsolutelynone.She’s

madeitthroughtheworst,andshe’salways

beenafighter.Rememberwhenthatoneam-

bassadorcame?”

Ismirked.“Youmeantheonefromthe

Paraguay-ArgentinaUnion?”

“Yes!”heexclaimed.“Icanstillpictureit

perfectly.Hewassorudetoeveryone,fallingdowndrunkbynoontwodaysinarow,and

yourmomfinallygrabbedhimbytheearand

draggedhimoutthefrontdoor.”

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Ishookmyhead.“Ido.Ialsoremember

theendlessphonecallsafterwardtryingto

smooththingsoverwiththeirpresident.”

Kilebrushedthatdetailaway.“Forgetthat.

Justremember,yourmotherdoesn’tlet

thingshappentoher.Whensomethingtries

toruinherlife,shedragsitintothestreet.”

Ismiled.“True.”

Westoodthere,quietforamoment,andit

waspleasantandstill.I’dneverbeenso

grateful.“I’mbusytherestoftoday,but

maybewecouldspendsometimetogether

tomorrownight?”

Henodded.“Ofcourse.”

“There’salottotalkabout.”

Hiseyebrowsknittogether.“Likewhat?”

Webothturnedatthesametime,noting

thefigureinourperiphery.

“Excuseme,YourHighness,”theguard

saidwithabow,“butyouhaveavisitor.”

“Avisitor?”

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Henodded,givingmenoinformationasto

whoitmightbe.

Isighed.“Fine.I’llgetintouchlater,

okay?”

Kilegavemyhandaquicksqueeze.“Sure.

Letmeknowifyouneedanything.”

IsmiledasIlefthim,knowingthathe

meantthat.Inthebackofmymind,Ifelt

certainalltheyoungmeninthatroomwould

rushtomysideifIneededthemto,andthat

wasasmallsilverliningonanotherwise

drearyday.

Iroundedthestairs,tryingtoguessatwho

washere.Ifithadbeenfamily,they’dhave

beenbroughttoaroom;andifitwasagov-

ernororsomeotherofficialvisitor,they’d

havesentupacard.Whowassoimportant

thattheycouldn’tevenbeannounced?

AsIdescendedtothefirstfloor,thean-

swertomyquestionstoodthere,hisbright

smilemakingmybreathcatch.

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MaridIlléahadn’tsetfootinthepalacein

years.ThelasttimeI’dlaideyesonhim,he

wasaganglypreteenwhohadn’tquite

masteredconventionalconversation.Buthis

roundcheekshadturnedintoajawline

sharpenoughtocut,andhisstringylimbs

hadfilledout,hittingtheseamsofhissuit

withperfectprecision.HeheldmygazeasI

approached,andeventhoughhishandswere

fullwithanoverflowingbasket,hebowed

andsmiledasifhewascompletely

unencumbered.

“YourHighness,”hesaid.“I’msorryto

comeunannounced,butassoonasweheard

aboutyourmother,wefeltwehadtodo

something.So…”

Heheldoutthebaskettowardme.Itwas

fullofgifts.Flowers,thinbooks,jarsofsoupwithribbonsaroundthelids,andevenafew

bakeryitemsthatlookedsogooditwashard

nottotakeoneformyself.

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“Marid,”Isaid,agreeting,aquestion,and

anadmonitionallatonce.“Thisisaboveand

beyond,allthingsconsidered.”

Heshrugged.“Disagreementsdon’tmean

alossofcompassion.Ourqueenissick,and

thiswastheleastwecoulddo.”

Ismiled,movedbyhissuddenappear-

ance.Imotionedtoaguard.

“Takethistothehospitalwing,please.”

Hetookthegiftbasket,andIturnedmy

focusbacktoMarid.

“Yourparentsdidn’twanttocome?”

Heshovedhishandsintohispocketsand

grimaced.“Theywereafraidthevisitwould

seemmorepoliticalthanpersonal.”

Inodded.“Understandable.Butpleasetell

themnottoworryaboutthatinthefuture.

They’restillwelcomehere.”

Maridsighed.“Theydidn’tthinkso,not

aftertheir…exit.”

Ipressedmylipstogether,rememberingit

allsoclearly.

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AugustIlléaandmyfatherhadworkedto-

gethercloselyaftermygrandparentsdied,

tryingtodissolvethecastesasquicklyas

theycould.WhenAugustcomplainedthat

changewasn’thappeningfastenough,Dad

pulledrankandtoldhimtorespecthisplan.

WhenDadcouldn’tquiteerasethestigmaof

beinginthelowercastes,Augustsaidhe

neededtogethis“spoiledass”outofthe

palaceandintothestreets.Dadhadalways

beenapatientman,and,fromwhatIre-

memberedofAugust,hewasalwaysonedge.

Intheendtherewasabigfight,andAugust

andGeorgiapackedtheirthings,including

theirbashfulson,andleftinahurricaneof

hurtandanger.

I’dheardMarid’svoiceonceortwiceon

theradiosincethen,givingpoliticalcom-

mentaryorbusinessadvice,butitwas

strangenow,havingthatvoicesyncuptothe

movementsofhislipsandseeinghimsmile

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soeasilywhenImostlyrememberedhim

slouchedoverhimselfwhenhewasyounger.

“Honestly,Idon’tunderstandwhyour

fathershaven’tspokenrecently.You’vecer-

tainlyseentheissueswiththepost-castedis-criminationwe’vebeentryingtoquell.I

thoughtoneofthemmightbreakandseek

outtheother.It’spastbeingapointofprideanymore.”

Maridextendedanarm.“Perhapswe

couldwalkandtalk?”

Ilinkedmyarmthroughhis,andwebegan

movingdownthehall.

“Howisitgoingsofar?”

Ishrugged.“Asbestitcanunderthe

circumstances.”

“I’dliketotellyoutolookonthebright

side,butitmightbehardtofindone.”

“Sofar,allIcanthinkofisthatI’mhelp-

ingmyparents.”

“True.Andwhoknows?Youmightbeable

tomakesomeseriouschangeswhileyou’re

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inoffice.Likeallthepost-casteissues.Ourparentscouldn’tgetitright,butmaybeyou

could.”

Thatthoughtcomfortedmelessthanhe

intended.Ididn’thopetobeincontrollong

enoughtomakeanychangesatall.

“I’mnotquitesureI’mcapableofthat.”

“Well,YourHighness—”

“Please,Marid.It’sEadlyn.You’veknown

mesincebeforeIwasborn.”

Hesmirked.“Verytrue.Still,youarere-

gentrightnow,anditfeelswrongnottoad-

dressyouproperly.”

“AndwhatshouldIcallyou?”

“Nothingbutaloyalsubject.I’dliketoof-

feranyhelpIcaninthistensetime.AndI

knowthedissolutionofthecasteswasn’tas

cleanasyouallhoped,noteveninthebegin-

ning.I’vespentyearslendingmyeartothe

public.IthinkI’veheardthemveryclearly,

andifmycommentarywouldbeuseful,

pleaseletmeknow.”

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IraisedmyeyebrowsasIconsideredhis

words.Iknewalotmoreaboutthelivesof

commonersthesedaysthankstotheSelec-

ted,butanexpertonpublicopinionmightbe

aperfecttooltohaveinmyarsenal.And

evenifIdidn’thavegreatambitionsformy

shorttimeonthethrone,somethinglikethis

mightshowmypeopleIcared,andthatwas

critical.EspeciallyconsideringwhatAhren

hadsaidinhisletter.

IthitmelikeapuncheverytimeIre-

memberedhiswords,butIknewhewouldn’t

havetoldmethatthepeopledespisedmeif

hehadn’tthoughtitwouldservesomegood.

Eventhoughheleft,Itrustedthat.

“Thankyou,Marid.IfIcoulddoanything

toeasethestressthatthissituationhas

broughttomyfather,itwouldbeahuge

blessing.Whenhe’sreadytocomebackto

work,I’dlikethecountrytobethecalmest

he’sseenitinyears.I’llbeintouch.”

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Hepulledacardoutofhispocketand

handedittome.“That’smypersonalnum-

ber.Callanytime.”

Ismiled.“Willyourparentsbeupsetthat

you’rehelpingme?Isn’tthisfraternizing

withtheenemy?”

“No,no,”hesaid,histonelight.“Ourpar-

entshadthesamegoal.Theysimplyhaddif-

ferentmethodsofreachingit.Andnow,with

yourmotherunwell,youshouldn’thaveto

worrysomuchaboutthingsthatarefixable,

andthecountry’smoralecertainlyis.Now

morethanever,Ithinkourparentswillap-

proveofusworkingtogether.”

“Let’shope,”Isaid.“Fartoomanythings

havebeenbreakinglately.Somemending

woulddomegood.”

ISLIPPEDINTOTHEBATH,notingtherewasno

lavender,nobubbles,noanythingtosweeten

thewater.Eloisewasquietandfast,butshe

wasnoNeena.Isighed.Itdidn’tmatter,I

supposed,sincethiswaslittlemorethana

smallspacewhereatlastIcouldstoppre-

tendingIknewwhatIwasdoing.Icurledmy

kneestomychest,finallyfreetoweep.

WhatwasIgoingtodo?Ahrenwasn’there

toguidemeanymore,andIworriedI’dmake

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mistakeaftermistakewithouthim.Andwhy

hadn’thecalledyet?Whywasn’theonthe

firstflighthome?

WhatwouldIdoiftheytookthetubesout

ofMom’sthroatandshecouldn’tbreatheon

herown?Isuddenlyrealizedthateven

thoughI’dneverthoughtofmarriageand

childreninaspecificandpersonalway,I’d

alwaysenvisionedherdancingatmywed-

dingandcooingovermyfirstborn.Whatif

shewasn’ttheretodothat?

HowwasIsupposedtostepintoDad’s

shoes?Todayhadwornmedowntothe

bone.Icouldn’timaginedoingthisallday

everydayforthenextfewweeks,letalone

theyearsI’dhavetodoitwhenItrulyinheritedthethrone.

AndhowwasIgoingtochooseahusband?

Whowasthebestchoice?Whowouldthe

publicapproveofthemost?Wasthatevena

fairquestiontoask?Ortherightone?

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Iwipedmyeyeswiththeheelofmyhand

likeachildandwishedIcouldgobacktobe-

ingblissfullyunawareofhowmuchbad

couldpileupinasingleday.

Ihadpowerandnoideahowtouseit.I

wasarulerwhodidn’tknowhowtolead.I

wasatwinwhowasonherown.Iwasa

daughterwithmissingparents.Ihadahalf

dozensuitorsandwasn’tsurehowtobein

love.

Thetensionconstrictingaroundmyheart

wouldbeenoughtooverwhelmanyone.I

rubbedattheacheinmychest,wonderingif

thatwashowitallstartedforMom.Isatup,sloshingthewater,pushingthethoughtfrom

myhead.

You’refine.She’sfine.Youjusthaveto

keepgoing.

Igotdressedandwasalmostreadytoturn

inforthenightwhenIheardatimidknock

atthedoor.

“Eady?”someonecalled.

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“Osten?”Hepokedhisheadin,with

Kadenrightbehindhim,andIrushedoverto

them.“Areyoutwoallright?”

“We’reokay,”Kadenassuredme.“And

we’renotscaredoranything.”

“Notatall,”Ostenadded.

“Butwehaven’theardanynewsabout

Mom,andwethoughtmaybeyouwould

knowsomething.”

Ismackedmyselfinthehead.“I’msorry.I

shouldhavetoldyouwhatwasgoingon.”I

cursedmyself,thinkingofhowI’djustspent

twentyminutesinabathinsteadoftaking

thetimetofindmybrothers.

“She’srecovering.”Itriedtochoosemy

wordscarefully.“She’sbeingkeptasleepso

shecanheal.YouknowMom.Ifshewas

awake,she’dwanttochaseafterustomake

sureweweredoingeverythingweweresup-

posedto.Thiswayshe’llgetenoughrestso

thatshe’llbehealthywhenshewakesup.”

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“Oh.”Osten’sshoulderslifted,andIcould

seethat,asmuchasallthiswasgettingto

me,itwasevenharderonthem.

“WhataboutAhren?”Kadenpickedata

hangnail,athingI’dneverseenhimdo.

“Nowordyet,butI’msureit’sjustbecause

he’sgettingsettledin.Afterall,he’samarriedman.”

Kaden’sexpressionshowedhewasn’tsat-

isfiedwiththatanswer.“Doyouthinkhe’ll

comeback?”

Itookadeepbreath.“Let’snotworry

aboutthattonight.I’msurehe’llcallsoon,

andhe’llbeabletotelluseverything.For

now,allyoutwoneedtoknowis,yourbroth-

erishappy,yourmomisgoingtobeokay,

andIhaveeverythingundercontrol.All

right?”

Theysmiled.“Allright.”

Osten’sexpressionwentfromperfectly

finetocompletelydistraughtinseconds,and

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hislipbegantotremble.“It’smyfault,isn’tit?”

“What’syourfault?”Igotononekneein

frontofhim.

“Mom.It’smyfault.Shealwaystoldmeto

calmdownalittlemore,andthenshe’drun

herhandthroughherhairlikeshewasworn

out.It’smyfault.Imadehertootired.”

“Atleastyoudidn’tbotherheroverschool

somuch,”Kadensaidquietly.“Iwasalways

buggingherforbooksandbettertutors,and

makingheranswerquestionswhenshehad

otherstufftodo.Itookupallhertime.”

Sowewereallblamingourselves.Perfect.

“Osten,don’tthinkthat.Ever,”Iinsisted,

pullinghiminforahug.“Momisaqueen.If

anything,youweretheleaststressfulpartofherlife.Yes,it’shardtobeamother,butshealwayshadustoruntoifsheneededalaugh.

Andwho’seasilythefunniestofthefourof

us?”

63/467

“Me.”Hisvoicewasweak,buthedidsmile

alittleashewipedhisnose.

“Exactly.AndKaden,doyouthinkMom

wouldratheryouaskheradozenquestions

orhaveyouwanderthroughlifewiththe

wronganswers?”

Hefidgetedwithhisfingerssomemoreas

hethoughtitover.“She’dwantmetocome

toher.”

“Sothereyougo.Let’sbehonest—we’rea

prettyintensebunch,yeah?”Ostenlaughed,

andKaden’sexpressionbrightened.“But

whateverweputherthrough,itwaswel-

come.She’dratherhaveforcedmetolearn

mypenmanshipthanneverhavehada

daughter.She’dratherhavebeenyourliving

encyclopediathannotconnectwithus.She’d

ratherhavebeggedyoutositstillthanhave

hadonlythreechildren.Noneofthisisbe-

causeofus,”Ipromised.

Iwaitedforthemtoturnandrun,toget

pastshowingthistinychinkintheirarmor.

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Buttheydidn’tbudge.Isighedtomyself,

knowingwhattheywerehopingforandreal-

izingIwaspreparedtolosesomemuch-

neededsleepontheirbehalf.

“Doyouwanttostayheretonight?”

Ostenboltedovertomybed.“Yeah!”

Ishookmyhead.WhatwasIgoingtodo

withtheseboys?Icrawledintobed,and

Kadenpressedhimselfagainstmybackas

Ostenrestedhisheadonthepillowacross

fromme.Irealizedthatthebathroomlight

wasstillon,butIletitgo.Weneededalittlelightatthemoment.

“It’snotthesamewithoutAhren,”Kaden

saidquietly.

Ostenpulledhisarmsinclose,bundling

himselfup.“Yeah.Itdoesn’tfeelright.”

“Iknow.Butdon’tworry.We’llfindanew

normal.You’llsee.”Somehow,forthem,I

wouldmakethathappen.

“GOODMORNING,YOURHIGHNESS.”

“Goodmorning,”Irepliedtothebutler.

“Strongcoffee,please,andwhateverthechef

haspreparedfortheEliteisfine.”

“Ofcourse.”

Hereturnedwithblueberrypancakesand

sausagelinks,andahard-boiledeggslicedinhalf.IpickedatmymealwhileIskimmed

thepapers.Therewasnewsofbadweather

inoneareaandsomespeculationoverwhoI

66/467

mightmarrysomewhereelse,butingeneral,

itlookedliketheentirenationhadlostthe

willtodomuchmorethanworryabout

Mom.Iwasgrateful.Ihadbeenpositivethe

countrywouldrevoltwhenIwasnamedre-

gent.PartofmewasstillworriedthatifI

gavetheslightestindicationthatImightfail,theirhatredwouldslamintomewithout

mercy.

“Gooddaytoday!”someonecalled.Not

someone.IwouldhaverecognizedHenri’sgreetingeveninthegrave.

Iliftedmyheadtosmileandwaveathim

andErik.IkindoflovedthatHenriwasim-

pervioustothesadnesshangingoverthe

palace.AndErikseemedtobethehandthat

guidedhischargebackdowntoEarth,calm

andkind,regardlessofwhathappened

aroundhim.

OstenandKadenwalkedinwithKile,their

headstogetherastheymoved.Kilewastry-

ingtomakethemsmile—Icouldreaditin

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hisbodylanguage—and,fortheirpart,they

gavehimsmall,tight-lippedgrins.Ean

enteredwithHaleandFox,andIwaspleas-

antlysurprisedtoseehimfinallyinteractingwithsomeoftheothers.Gunnertrailedbehindthemasifforgotten.I’dkepthimintheElitebecauseIcouldn’tshakehowhispoem

hadmademelaugh.Butbeyondthat,I

hardlyknewhim.Iwasgoingtohavetotry

harderwithhim,withallofthem.

Mybrotherssatdowntogetherattheir

normalplaces,moresubduedthanusual.

Seeingourfamilytablesoemptysentapang

ofsadnessthroughmywholebody.Thattype

ofsorrow,thequiet,lonelykind,cantake

oversoquicklythatapersoncouldmissit.Icouldseeittryingtocreepintomybrothers

now,inthewaytheyheldtheirheadsalittlelower,probablynotevenaware

theywere

doingit.

“Osten?”Hepeekedoveratme,andI

couldfeeltheElite’seyesonus.“Doyou

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remember

the

time

Mom

made

us

pancakes?”

Kadenstartedlaughing,turningtothe

otherstotellthestory.“Momusedtocooka

lotgrowingup,andeveryonceinawhile

she’dmakefoodforus,justforfun.Thelasttimeshetriedwasmaybefouryearsago.”

Ismirked.“Sheknewshewasoutofprac-

tice,butshewantedtomakeusblueberry

pancakes.Thethingwas,shewantedtoar-

rangetheberriesinthemsotheymadestars

andflowersandfaces.Butsheleftthebatteronthegriddlesolongtoputtheberriesin

thatwhensheflippedthepancakes,they

wereallburned.”

Ostenlaughed.“Idoremember!Iremem-

berthecrunchypancakes!”

IheardchucklesfromtheElite.

“Youweresobad,though,youdidn’teven

tryone!”Kadenaccused.

Inoddedshamefully.“Itwasself-

preservation.”

69/467

“Theywereprettygood,actually.Crispy,

butgood.”Ostentookabiteofoneofthe

pancakesinfrontofhim.“Theymakethese

onesseemweak.”

IheardoneloudchuckleandsawthatFox

wasshakinghishead.“Mydad’sanawful

cook,too,”hesaid,projectinghisvoice.“Wegrillalot,andhe’salwayssayingit’s

‘charred.’”Foxliftedhisfingerstoquotetheword.

“Whatheactuallymeansisburned,yeah?”

Gunnerasked.

“Yep.”

“Myfather,”Eriksaidtimidly.Iwassur-

prisedhewantedtojoinintheconversation,

andIfoundmyselfleaningmyheadonmy

elbow,drawnin.“Heandmymotherhave

thisonedishtheymakeforeachother,anditrequiresfrying.Thelasttimehemadeit,he

lefttheroomwhileitwascooking,andthe

smokewassobad,theyhadtomoveinwith

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mefortwodayswhiletheyairedthehouse

out.”

“Doyouhaveaspareroom?”Kileasked.

Erikshookhishead.“No.Somyliving

roombecamemybedroom,whichwasa

treatwhenmymomwokeupatsixandde-

cidedtostartcleaning.”

Gunnerlaughedinagreement.“Whydo

parentsalwaysdothat?Andalwaysonthe

onedayyoucansleepin?”

Isquinted.“Can’tyoujustaskthemnot

to?”

Foxlaughedwildly.“Maybeyoucan,Your

Highness.”

IwasveryawarethatIwasbeingteased,

butIknewitwasallingoodfun.

Halespokeup.“Speakingofwhich,isany-

oneelseworriedaboutbeingincredibly

spoiledifyouloseandhavetogohomeafter

livinglikethis?”Hegesturedtothetableandroom.

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“Notme,”Kileansweredflatly,andthe

boyserupted.

Theroomdissolvedintostoriesandcom-

ments,thetailendofeverysentencespark-

inganewmemoryfromsomeoneelse.The

conversationgrewsoloud,thelaughterso

boisterous,thatnoonenoticedthelonemaid

walkingdownthecenterofthefloor.She

curtsiedandbentherfaceclosetomine.

“Yourmotherisawake.”

Aflurryofemotionswashedoverme,a

dozenfeelingsallpracticallyunidentifiable

exceptforthecommonsensationofjoy.

“Thankyou!”Irushedfromtheroom,too

afraidtowaitforKadenandOsten.

Myfeetflewdownthehalls,andIburstin-

tothehospitalwing,onlypausingtobrace

myselfonceIreachedherdoor.AsIslowly

openedit,Iwasawareoftheheartmonitor,

stillrecordingeverybeat,andhowthepace

tickedupanotchwhenoureyesmet.

“Mom?”Iwhispered.

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Dadlookedoverhisshoulder,smiling

thoughhiseyeswereredandbrimmingwith

tears.

“Eadlyn,”Momwhispered,holdingouther

hand.

Iwenttoher,thetearsinmyeyesblurring

myvisionsomuchIcouldhardlymakeher

out.

“Hey,Mom.Howareyou?”Iwrappedmy

fingersaroundhers,tryingnottogriptoo

tightly.

“Ithurtsalittle.”Whichmeantitmust

hurtalot.

“Well,youjusttakeyourtimefeelingbet-

ter,okay?Norush.”

“Howareyou?”

Istooduptaller,hopingtoconvinceher.

“I’vegoteverythingundercontrol,and

KadenandOstenaredoinggreat—I’msure

they’rerightbehindme.AndIhaveadate

tonight.”

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“Goodjob,Eady.”Dadgrinnedandturned

hisheadbacktoMom.“See,darling?I’mnot

evenneededoutthere.Icanstayherewith

you.”

“Ahren?”Momasked,takingadeepbreath

afterward.

Iwascrestfallen.AsIopenedmymouthto

tellherwehadn’theardfromhim,Dad

spokeup.“Hecalledthismorning.”

Istoodthere,stunned.“Oh?”

“He’shopingtocomehomesoon,buthe

saidthereweresomecomplications,though

hewasalittletooflusteredtoexplainwhat

theywere.Hetoldmetotellyouheloves

you.”I’dhopedthosewordswereforme,but

DadwaslookingdirectlyatMomwhenhe

spoke.

“Iwantmyson,”Momsaid,hervoice

cracking.

“Iknow,darling.Soon.”Dadrubbed

Mom’shand.

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“Mama?”Ostencameintotheroom,his

faceshowingthathewasbarelycontaining

hisexcitement.Kadenwassniffling,holding

himselfuprightasifhethoughthimself

abovecrying.

“Hithere.”Mommanagedtopullupabig

smileforthem,andwhenOstenbentdown

andhuggedher,shemadeapainedfacebut

didn’tletoutasound.

“We’vebeenverygood,”hepromised.

Mom

smiled.

“Well,

stop

that

immediately.”

Welaughed.

“Hi,Mom.”Kadenkissedhercheek,look-

ingafraidtotouchherjustyet.

Sheraisedherhandtocuphisface.She

seemedtogrowstrongereachsecondsimply

fromseeingus.Iwonderedwhatshe’dhave

doneifAhrenwashere.Jumpoutofthe

bed?

“IwantedyoutoknowthatI’mokay.”Her

chestroseandfellaggressively,buthersmile

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didn’tfalter.“IthinkIcangobackupstairstomorrow.”

Dadnoddedquickly.“Yes,ifweget

throughtodaywithoutincident,yourmother

canrecuperateinherroom.”

“That’sreallygood.”Kaden’svoiceliftedat

thisnews.“Soyou’rehalfwaybackto

normal.”

Ididn’twanttokillthehopeinhiseyes,orOsten’s.Kadenwastypicallysoclever,seeingaroundeverypretense,buttherewasnomistakinghowhardhewaswillingthistobe

true.

“Exactly,”Momsaid.

“Okay,everyone,”Dadsaid.“Nowthat

you’veseenMom,Iwantyoutogetbackto

yourstudies.Westillhaveacountrytorun.”

“Eadlyngaveusthedayoff,”Osten

protested.

Ismiledguiltily.Whenwe’dgottenoutof

bedthismorning,thatwasmyonlyorder.I

neededthemtoplay.

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Momlaughed,aweakbutbeautifulsound.

“Suchagenerousqueen.”

“Notqueenyet,”Iprotested,thankfulthat

thetruequeenstilllivedandspokeand

smiled.

“Allthesame,”Dadsaid,“yourmother

needsrest.I’llmakesureyouseeheragain

beforebedtime.”

Thatmollifiedtheboys,andtheyleft,wav-

ingtoMom.

Ikissedherhead.“Iloveyou.”

“Mygirl.”Herweakfingerstouchedmy

hair.“Iloveyou.”

Thosewordswerethefirstbookendofmy

day,andIcouldgetthroughtherestofit

knowingKileWoodworkwouldbetheother.

AsIleftthehospitalwing,Icameacross

anotherWoodwork.

“MissMarlee?”Iasked.

Shelookedupfromthebenchshewassit-

tingon,wringingahandkerchiefinher

hands,herfaceblotchyfromcrying.

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“Areyouokay?”

Shesmiled.“Morethanokay.Iwasso

afraidshemightnotcomeback,and…I

honestlydon’tknowwhatI’ddowithouther.

Beinghere,withyourmom,hasbeenmy

wholelife.”

Isatdown,huggingmymother’sdearest

friend,andsheheldontomeasifIwasher

owndaughter.Partofmefeltsad,becauseI

knewshewasn’tbeingdramaticwhenshe

saidthat.Onelookatherscarredpalmstold

thelongstoryofhowshe’dgonefromworthy

competitortowickedtraitortofaithfullady.

Whentheytalkedaboutthepast,somede-

tailswereglossedover,andIneverpusheditbecauseitwasn’tmyplace.ButIworried

thatsometimesMissMarleefeltlikemypar-

ents’pardonwasstillcontingentonherand

herhusbandpayingitbackindevotion.

“Theysaidthatyouandyourbrothers

werevisiting,andIwanttoseeher,butI

didn’twanttocutoffyourtime.”

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“Didyouseetheboysleave?We’reall

donenow.Youshouldhurryinbeforeshe

fallsbackasleep.Iknowshe’dwanttosee

you.”

Shewipedhercheeksagain.“HowdoI

look?”

I

laughed.

“Positively

wretched.”

I

squeezedher.“Gooninthere.Andcanyou

trytocheckonthemformefromtimeto

time?IknowIwon’tbeabletocomedown

hereasoftenasI’dlike.”

“Don’tyouworry.I’llsendupdatesasof-

tenasIcan.”

“Thankyou,MissMarlee.”

Afteronelasthug,shemadeherwayinto

thehospitalwing.Isighed,tryingtoletmy-

selfenjoythisbriefmomentofcalm.Atleastfornow,everythingwasonitswaytobeing

better.

KILEHELDHISHANDAGAINSTthesmallofmy

back,walkingmethroughthegarden.The

moonwaslowandfull,castingshadowseven

inthenight.

“Youwerespectacularthismorning,”he

said,shakinghishead.“We’veallbeenwor-

riedaboutyourmom,andit’ssostrangenot

havingAhrenaround.AndKaden?I’venever

seenhimlookso…bewildered.”

“It’sawful.He’sthestableone.”

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“Don’tworrytoomuch.Itmakessense

thathe’dbealittleshakenrightnow.”

IinchedevenclosertoKile.“Iknow.It’s

justhardtoseeithappentosomeonewho

nevergetsshaken.”

“Whichiswhybreakfastwassogreat.I

thoughtweweregoingtosufferthrougha

painfulmealtogether,unabletotalkabout

whatwashappening,oreventalkatall.Then

youjustopeneditup.Itwasremarkable.

Don’tforgetyouhavethatskill.”Heshook

hisfingeratme.

“Whatskill?Distraction?”Ilaughed.

“No.”Hewrestledwiththewords.“More

likethemeanstoalleviate.Imean,you’ve

doneitbefore.AtpartiesoronReports.Youchangemomentum.Noteveryonecando

that.”

Wewalkedtotheedgeofthegarden,

wherethelandopeneduptoawide,flat

spacebeforetheforeststarted.

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“Thanks.Thatmeansalot.I’vebeen

worried.”

“Nothingwrongwiththat.”

“It’sbiggerthanMomthough.”Istopped

andputmyhandsonmyhips,wondering

howmuchIshouldtellhim.“Ahrenleftmea

letter.Didyouknowthatthepeoplearedis-

pleasedwiththemonarchy?Specifically,

me?AndnowI’mbasicallyincharge,and

honestly,I’mnotsureifthey’llstandforit.Ialreadyhadfoodthrownatmeonce.I’ve

readsomanyawfularticlesaboutmyself…

Whatiftheycomeafterme?”

“Whatiftheydo?”hejoked.“It’snotlike

therearen’totheroptions.Wecouldbecome

adictatorship—that’dputpeopleinline.

There’safederalrepublic,aconstitutional

monarchy…oh,maybeatheocracy!We

couldgiveeverythingovertothechurch.”

“Kile,I’mserious!Whatiftheydepose

me?”

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Hecradledmyfaceinhishands.“Eadlyn,

that’snotgoingtohappen.”

“Butithasbefore!That’showmygrand-

parentsdied.Peoplecameintotheirhome

andkilledthem.Andeveryoneworshipped

mygrandmother!”Icouldfeelthetears

rising.Ugh,I’dbeensuchaweepymessthe

lastcoupleofdays!Iwipedthemaway,fum-

blingoverhisfingersintheprocess.

“Listentome.Thatwasapocketofradic-

als.They’regonenow,andthepeopleout

therearetoobusytryingtolivetheirlivestospendtimemessingwithyours.”

“Ican’tbankonthat,”Iwhispered.“There

werethingsIwasalwayssureof,andalmost

allofthathasfallenapartinthelastfew

weeks.”

“Doyou…”Hepausedashegazedintomy

eyes.“Doyouneedtonotthinkrightnow?”

Iswallowed,processingtheoffer.Here

withjustthetwoofusinthedark,quiet

evening,itfeltsosimilartothenightofour

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firstkiss.Onlythistimethere’dbenoone

watching,noonetoprintitinanewspaper.

Ourparentswerenowhereinsight,andthe

guardsweren’ttrailingoursteps.Formeit

meantthat,forjustonemoment,therewas

nothingtokeepmefromhavingwhatI

wanted.

“I’ddoanythingyouaskedmeto,Eadlyn,”

hewhispered.

Ishookmyhead.“ButIcan’task.”

Hesquinted.“Whynot?DidIdo

somethingwrong?”

“No,youidiot,”Isaid,pullingaway.“Ap-

parently…”Ihuffed.“Itseemsyoudid

somethingright.Ican’tjustkissyoulikeit’snothing,becauseitturnsoutthatyou’renot

nothing.”

Istaredattheground,growingincreas-

inglyirritated.

“Thisisallyourfault,bytheway!”Iac-

cused,glaringathimasIpaced.“Iwasfine

notlikingyou.Iwasfinenotlikinganyone.”

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Icoveredmyface.“AndnowI’minthe

middleofthisthingandsolostIcanhardly

thinkstraight.ButIknowthatyoumatter,

andIdon’tknowwhattodoaboutit.”When

Igatheredenoughcouragetolookupathim

again,hewassmirking.“Forgoodness’sake,

don’tlooksosmug.”

“Sorry,”hesaid,stillsmiling.

“Doyouknowhowscaryitisformetosay

allthat?”

Hebridgedthegapbetweenus.“Probably

asscaryasitisformetohearit.”

“I’mserious,Kile.”

“SoamI!Firstofall,it’sstrangetothink

aboutwhatitallmeans.Becauseyoucome

withatitleandathroneandawholelife

plannedoutforyou.That’sinsaneformeto

tryandtakein.Andsecondofall,morethan

anyonehere,Iknowthatyouholdyourcards

closetoyourchest.Aconfessionlikethat

mustbepracticallypainfulforyou.”

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Inodded.“NotthatI’mmadthatIlikeyou

…exceptthatIkindofam.”

Helaughed.“Itisratherinfuriating.”

“ButIneedtoknow,now,beforewego

anyfurther,doyoufeelanythinglikethatforme?

Even

the

smallest

glimmer

of

something?Becauseifnot,Ihavetomake

plans.”

“AndifIdo?”

Iliftedmyarmsandletthemflopdownto

mysidesagain.“ThenIstillhavetomake

plans,butthey’llbedifferent.”

Hesighedheavily.“Turnsoutyoumatter

tome,too.AndIwouldn’thavethought

aboutitexceptformydesignslately.”

“Uh…howromantic?”

Helaughed.“No,really,itkindofis.Usu-

allyIgetexcitedaboutdesigningskyscrapersandhomelessshelters,thingsthatsomeone

mightremember,ormighthelppeople.But

theotherdayIfoundmyselfdesigningyoua

summerhouse,aminiaturepalace,maybe

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somethingwithavineyard.ThismorningI

gotanideaforabeachhouse.”

Igasped.“I’vealwayswantedabeach

house!”

“Notthatwe’devergettouseitwithyou

runningtheworldandall.”

“It’sasweetthoughtallthesame.”

Heshrugged.“Itjustseemslikeeverything

Iwanttomakelatelyissomethingforyou.”

“Thatmeansalot.Iknowhowimportant

yourworkistoyou.”

“It’snotreallymywork.SomethingthatI

careaboutisall.”

“Okay,then.Howaboutfornowwejust

addthistothatpile?Thisissomethingwe

careabout,andwebothknowit,andwe’ll

watchitandseewhathappens.”

“That’sfair.Idon’twanttodiscourageyou

atall,butitfeelstoosoontocallthislove.”

“Absolutely!”Iagreed.“It’stoosoon,and

that’stoobig.”

“Toobusy.”

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“Tooscary.”

He

laughed.

“On

par

with

being

dethroned?”

“Atleast!”

“Wow.Okay.”Hecontinuedtosmile,

probablyconsideringtheunlikelihoodofus

fallingforeachotherhimself.“So,what

now?”

“IcontinuetheSelection,Ithink.Idon’t

wanttohurtyourfeelings,butIhavetokeepgoing.Ihavetobecertain.”

Henodded.“Iwouldn’twantyouifyou

weren’t.”

“Thankyou,sir.”

Westoodthere,thesoundofthewindin

thegrasstheonlynoise.

Heclearedhisthroat.“Ithinkweneed

food.”

“AslongasIdon’thavetocookit.”

Hethrewhisarmaroundmyshoulderas

weturnedbacktothepalace.Itfeltlikea

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veryboyfriendishthingtodo.“Butwedidso

greatlasttime.”

“AllIlearnedaboutwasbutter.”

“Thenyouknoweverything.”

InthemorningIheadedstraightdowntothe

hospitalwing,desperatetoseeMom’sface.

Evenifshewasasleep,Ijustneededtoberemindedshewasaliveandhealing.Butwhen

Icrackedopenthedoorthistime,shewas

sittingup,wideawake…andDadwas

asleep.Smiling,sheheldupafingertoher

lips.Withherotherhandshetracedgentle

linesthroughhishairashelayspilledoutofhischairandontoherbed,onearmbeneath

hisheadandtheotheracrossherlap.

Iquietlywalkedtotheothersideofthe

bedtokisshercheek.

“Ikeepwakingupinthenight,”she

whispered,givingmealittlesqueeze.“All

thesetubesandthingsarebotheringme.

Andeverytime,he’sawake,watchingme.It

doesmegoodtoseehimsleep.”

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“Me,too.He’sbeenlookingalittlerough.”

Shesmiled.“Eh.I’veseenhimworse.He’ll

makeitthroughthis,too.”

“Havethedoctorscheckedonyouyet?”

Sheshookherhead.“Iaskedthemtocome

againoncehe’srestedalittle.I’llgetbacktomyroomsoonenough.”

Ofcourse.Ofcoursethewomanwhojust

hadaheartattackcouldsparegettingherselftoamorecomfortableplacesoherhusband

couldtakeanap.Seriously,evenifIdidfindsomeone,coulditevercomparetothem?

“Howareyoudoing?Iseveryonebeing

helpful?”Momcontinuedtorunherhand

throughDad’shair.

“IfiredCoddly.Idon’tthinkItoldyou

yesterday.”

Shestilled,staringintently.“What?Why?”

“Oh,nobigdeal.Hejustwantedtogoto

war.”

Shecoveredhermouth,tryingnottolaugh

athowcavalierlyIdiscussedinvasion.A

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secondlatershestoppedsmilingatalland

movedbothofherhandstoherchest.

“Mom?”Iaskedtooloudly.Dad’sheadin-

stantlyshotup.

“Darling?What’swrong?”

Momshookherhead.“It’sjustthe

stitches.I’mfine.”

Dadsettledbackintohisseatbutsatup,

donewithsleepforthemoment.Momtried

tostartuptheconversationagain,doing

anythingtotakethefocusoffherself.

“HowabouttheSelection?Howarethings

goingthere?”

Ipaused.“Umm,okay,Ithink.Ihaven’t

hadalotoftimetospendwiththeboys,but

I’mgoingtoworkonthat.Especiallysince

there’saReportcomingup.”

“Youknow,honey,noonewouldfaultyou

forcallingitoff.You’vebeenthroughalot

thislastweek,andyou’reactingasregent.

I’mnotsureyoushouldbetryingtobalance

allthis.”

91/467

“Theyareveryniceboys,”Dadoffered,

“butifit’stakingtoomuchofyourfocus…”

Isighed.“Ithinkweneedtostopdancing

aroundthefactthatIamnotthemostbe-

lovedmemberofthisfamily.Atleastnotto

thegeneralpublic.Yousaynoonewould

faultme,butIfeelveryconfidentthey

would.”MomandDadsharedalook,seem-

ingtowanttorefutethisbutnotwantingto

lieatthesametime.“IfI’mgoingtobe

queenoneday,Ineedtowinthepeople

over.”

“Andyouthinkfindingahusbandisthe

waytoaccomplishthat?”Momasked

suspiciously.

“Yes.It’sallabouttheirperceptionofme.

TheythinkI’mtoocold.Themostabsolute

waytorefutethatwouldbetogetmarried.

TheythinkI’mtoomasculine.Themostab-

solutewaytorefutethatistobeabride.”

“Idon’tknow.I’mstillveryhesitantabout

youcontinuing.”

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“NeedIremindyouthatthisSelectionwas

youridea?”

Shesighed.

“Listentoyourdaughter,”Dadsaid.“Very

smartgirl.Getsitfromme.”

“Don’tyouwantsomemoresleep?”she

askedflatly.

“No,I’mfeelingveryrefreshed,”hesaid.I

wasn’tsureifitwasbecausehewantedto

continuetheconversationorifhefelthe

neededtokeephisattentiononMom.Either

way,hewasclearlylying.

“Dad,youlooklikedeathpunchedyouin

theface.”

“Youmustgetthatfromme,too.”

“Dad!”

Helaughed,andMomdid,too,herhand

goingbacktoputpressureonherchest.

“Look!Yourterriblejokesarenowlife

threatening.Youhavetostopthem.”

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HesharedasmilewithMom.“Godowhat

youneedtodo,Eadlyn.Wewillsupportyou

inwhateverwaywecan.”

“Thankyou.Bothofyou,pleasegetsome

rest.”

“Ugh,she’ssobossy,”Momlamented.

Dadnodded.“Iknow.Whodoesshethink

sheis?”

Ilookedbackatthemonelasttime.Dad

gavemeawink.Nomatterwhowasagainst

metoday,atleastIhadthem.

Ileftthemandstrodeupstairstotheof-

fice,shockedtofindabeautifulbouquetof

flowersonmydesk.

“Someonethinksyou’redoingagoodjob,

huh?”Neenaremarked.

“OrtheythinkI’lldiefromthestressand

wantedtobeateveryonetothepunch,”I

joked,notsureIwantedtoadmithowhap-

pilysurprisedIwas.

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“Lightenup.You’vebeendoinggreat.”But

Neena’seyesweren’tevenonme.Theyhad

zoomedinonthecard.

Ituckeditclosetomychestasshewhined,

andliftedthenotejustenoughsoIcould

readit.

Youlookedalittledownwhenweparted

theotherday.Wantedtodaytostartona

happiernote.I’mhereforyou.—Marid

IsmiledandpassedittoNeena,who

sighedbeforeturningbacktolookatthe

hugebouquet.

“Whoarethosefrom?”GeneralLeger

asked,cominginthedoor.

“MaridIlléa,”Ireplied.

“Iheardhestoppedby.Washejustbring-

inggiftsordidheneedsomething?”thegen-

eralasked,skepticismpaintinghistone.

“Oddlyenough,hewasmakingsureI

didn’tneedsomething.Heofferedtogiveme

ahelpinghandwiththepublic.Heknowsa

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lotmoreaboutpeoplelivingtheirlivesinthewakeofthecastesthanIdo.”

GeneralLegerjoinedmebesidethetable

andstaredattheextravagantarrangement.

“Idon’tknow.Thingsdidn’texactlyendwell

betweenyourfamilyandhis.”

“Iremember.Vividly.Butitmightbea

goodthingtolearnalittlenowforwhenmy

timecomes.”

Thegeneralsmiledatme,hisfacesoften-

ing.“It’salreadyhere,YourHighness.Be

carefulwhoyoutrust,okay?”

“Yes,sir.”

Neenawasstillactingswoony.“Someone

needstotellMarktostepup.Ijustgota

hugepromotion.Wherearemyflowers?”

“Maybehe’splanningtodeliverthemin

person.Muchmoreromantic,”Isaid.

“Pssh!Thewaythatboyworks?”shesaid

skeptically.“Ifeveryoneinthepalacedied

andIsomehowbecamequeen,heprobably

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stillcouldn’tgettimeoff.He’salwaysso

busy.”

Thoughshewastryingtojoke,Icould

sensehersadness.“Buthelovesit,right?”

“Oh,yes,helikeshisresearch.It’sjust

hardthathe’ssobusy,andthathe’sfar

away.”

Ididn’tknowwhatelsetosayonthesub-

ject,soIturnedtheconversationbacktomy

gift.“They’reabitmuch,though,don’tyou

think?”

“Ithinkthey’reperfect.”

Ishookmyhead.“Eitherway,these

shouldprobablybemovedsomewhereelse.”

“Don’tyouwanttolookatthem?”Neena

questionedevenasshewenttograbthevase.

“No.Ineedthedeskspace.”

Sheshruggedandcarefullyliftedthear-

rangementtotakeitintotheparlor.Isat

downatthedesk,tryingtoconcentrate.I

hadtofocusifIwasgoingtowinmypeople

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over.AndthatwaswhatIhadtodo—Ahren

hadsaidso.

“Wait!”MyvoicewasalittlelouderthanI

intended,andNeenastarted.“Putthemback

wheretheywere.”

Shemadeafaceatmebutbroughtthem

backallthesame.“Whatmadeyouchange

yourmind?”

Ilookedupatthebouquetandranmyfin-

gersacrossafewofthelow-hangingpetals.

“IjustrememberedIcouldleadandstilllikeflowers.”

BYTHETIMEDINNERROLLEDaround,Iwasvery

concernedthatImightfallasleeponmy

plate.Therewasachancenoonewould

mindifIskippedit.Mealshadgenerally

beenquietunlessIworkedtomakethem

otherwise.ButwhenIcamedownstairsand

sawGrandmaSingerflingingherbagata

butler,Iknewtonightwasgoingtobeany-

thingbutdull.

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“Don’tyoutellmeIcan’tcomeatsuchan

hour!”Sheshookherwrinkledfist,andIbit

mylipstoholdinthelaughter.

“Iwasn’t,ma’am,”theguardreplied,his

voiceanxious.“Ijustsaiditwasgettinglateintheday.”

“Thequeenwillwanttoseeme!”

GrandmaSingerwasafearsomecreature.

Ifweeverdidhaveawarundermyrule,my

planwastosendhertothefrontlines.She’dcomehomeholdingtheenemybyhisear

withinaweek.

Iwalkedintothefoyer.“Grandma.”

Sheinstantlyturnedfromtheguard,her

facemeltingintothesweetestexpression.

“Oh,there’smypreciousgirl.TheTVdoesn’t

doyoujustice—you’resolovely!”

Ibentsoshecouldkissmeonbothcheeks.

“Thanks…Ithink.”

“Whereisyourmother?I’vebeenwanting

tocomeover,butMayinsistedIstayoutof

theway.”

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“She’sdoingmuchbetternow.Icantake

youtoher,butwouldn’tyouliketoeatfirstandrecoverfromyourtrip?”I

gesturedtowardthedininghall.

GrandmahadlivedinthepalacewhenI

wasyounger,butafteryearsofMomtrying

totakecareofher,shefinallyupandleft.

Her“longjourney”wasreallyonlyanhour

acrosstown,butitmightaswellbefromthe

othersideofIlléaforhowshebehavedabout

it.

“Now,thatwouldbewonderful,”shesaid,

comingbesideme.“See,that’showyoutreat

yourelders.There’ssomerespect.”Hereyes

dartedbacktothepoorguard,whostood

therestupefied,withherbaginhishands.

“Thankyou,OfficerFarrow.Pleasetake

thattotheguestsuiteonthethirdfloorover-lookingthegardens.”

Hebowedandleftaswemadeourwayin-

totheroom.Afewoftheboyswerealready

waiting,andtheireyebrowsraisedatthe

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sightofthequeenmother.Foxstrodeupim-

mediatelytointroducehimself.

“Ms.Singer,suchapleasuretomeetyou,”

hesaid,extendinghishand.

“Now,he’sacuteone,Eady.Lookatthis

face.”Grandmagrabbedhischin,andhe

laughedthroughhergrip.

“Yes,Grandma,Iknow.Partofwhyhe’s

stillhere.”Imouthedanapology,butFox

shookhishead,positivelybeamingoverher

approval.

Gunner,Hale,andHenriallcameoverto

meether,andItookthechancetospeak

quietlytoErik.

“Areyoubusytomorrow?”

Hesquinted.“Idon’tthinkso.Why?”

“Justplanningalittlesomethingwith

Henri.”

“Oh,”hesaid,shakinghisheadasifthat

shouldhavebeenobvious.“No,we’llbothbe

free.”

“Okay.Don’ttell,”Iinsisted.

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“Ofcoursenot.”

“What?”Grandmashouted.“Saythat

again?”

Erikhoppedover,bowing.

“Sosorry,ma’am.SirHenriwasbornin

SwendwayandonlyspeaksFinnish.I’mhis

translator.Hesayshe’sverypleasedtomeet

you.”

“Oh,that’sright,that’sright.”Grandma

tookHenri’shand.“IT’SNICETOMEET

YOU,TOO!”

Imovedhertowardtheheadtable.“He’s

notdeaf,Grandma.”

“Well,”shesaid,asifthatwasenoughof

anexplanation.

“HaveyoutalkedtoUncleGerad?”

“Geradwantstobehere,buthe’sworking

onatime-sensitiveproject.YouknowInever

understandawordhesays.”Grandmawaved

herarmintheairasifshewasslappingawaytheelaboratewordsheused.“Iheardfrom

Kota,too.He’snotsureifheshouldstopby

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ornot.Yourmotherandhim,they’vetried

overtheyears,buttheyjustcan’tseemtobecivil.He’sgottenbetter,though.Ithinkit’sthatwifeofhis.”

Iusheredheraroundthetable,andshe

tookmyseat.Eventhoughitwasn’tperman-

ent,takingDad’semptyplacenexttoherfeltstrange.Somuchhadbeenentrustedtome,

yetIfeltlikeI’dstolensomethingofhis.

“AuntLeahdoessoundlikearathercalm-

ingperson,”Iagreed.“Iguessthosethings

matter,balancingeachotherout.”

Thebutlersrushedsomesoupinfrontof

Grandma,knowinghowshortherpatience

was.Ismiledasshedugin.

“Workedforyourgrandpaandme.Your

parents,too.”

Ignoringmyownbowl,Irestedmychinon

myhand.“WhatwasGrandpalike?”

“Good.Verygood.Healwayswantedtodo

whatwasright.Hewasslowertogetupset

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thanIwasanddidn’tletthingsgethim

down.Iwishyoucouldhaveknownhim.”

“Me,too.”

Ilethereatandfoundmyeyeswandering

aroundtheroom.Kilewasmyoppositein

thathewashumblewhereIwasproud.

Henriwasmyoppositeinthathesaw

everythingasajoywhereIfocusedonthe

challenge.Ean,Fox,Gunner…therewasan

elementineachofthemthatwouldfallon

theothersideofmyspectrum.

“IstheFrenchgirllikethatforAhren?”

Grandmaaskedwithnoattempttohideher

disdain.

Iconsideredthis.“No,actually.It’slike

they’retwohalvesofthesameheartindifferentbodies.”Myeyeswelled.Iwassotired,

andImissedhimsomuch.“Ican’tbeginto

tellyouhowmuchhelovesher.”

Shegrumbled.“Enoughtoleave.”

Iexhaledslowly.“Exactly,Grandma.It

hurthimsomuchtobeapartfromherthat

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hewouldendurethepainofleavinghisfam-

ily,hishome,andhiscountry,noteven

knowinghowthatwouldallbereceived,just

tobewithher.”

Sherecognizedthesadnessinmyvoice

andreachedoutherhandtomine.

“Youallright,honey?”

Ipulledmyselftogether.“Ofcourse.A

littletiredisall.Ishouldgorest.”JustthenKadenandOstencamerunningin,givingme

aperfectescape.“Theboyswilltakeyouto

Mom.”

Sheshriekedindelight.“Myboys!”

Ibackedawaywhileshewasdistracted,

walkingquietlydownthesideoftheroom

untilIgottoHenri.

Itappedhimonhisshoulder,andhe

lookedupfromhismeal,thatever-present

smileonhisface.“Hellotoday!”

Ichuckled.“Wouldyouliketojoinmefor

lunchtomorrow?”

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IwaitedforEriktojumpin,butHenri

heldupahand,concentrating.“Tomorrow,

lunch?”heasked.

“Yes.”

“Good,good!Yes!”

Ismiled.“Seeyouthen.”

Ilefttheroom,peekingbacktoseeHenri

clutchingErikbytheshoulder,elatedbythe

invitation.Heseemedsopleasedtohave

madeitthroughtheinteractionwithout

needingatranslation,too.Eriknoddedat

Henri,pleasedforhisfriend…butI’dseen

himsmilebrighterthanthatbefore.

Ilookedattheclock.Tenaftermidnight.IfIfellasleeprightnow,Icouldgetaboutfive

hoursofsleep.

Tenminuteslateritwasclearthatwasn’t

goingtohappen.Iusedtobesogoodat

shuttingoffmymindfortheday,butnowit

seemedlikeeverytaskIwashalfwaythrough

stayedwithmeuntilitwasdone,notcaring

ifIwaswellrestedenoughtotackleit.

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Islippedonmyrobe,combedmyfingers

throughmyhair,andsteppedbarefootinto

thehallway.PerhapsifIwenttotheofficeIcoulddosomeworkandappeasemybrain,

andthenIcouldgetbacktobed.ButifIwasgoingtodothat,Ineededcoffee.

Itwastoolateforanymaidstobeonduty,

soIheadedtothekitchen.Itseemeditwas

neveremptydownthere,andIwassure

someonewouldhelpme.Roundingtheland-

ingonthesecondfloor,Ileapedback,

startledbythefigurecomingrightatme.

“Oh!”

Erik

said,

suddenly

realizing

someonewasinhispath.

Ipulledmyrobealittletighter,thoughI

wasfullycovered,andsweptbackmyhair,

hopingtoseemlesssurprisedthanIhad

been.

Hebackedup,fidgetedwithhishandsa

second,andthenbowedabruptly.Itwas

sucharushed,sloppygesturethatIcouldn’t

helpbutlaugh.

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Hesmiledalittlehimself,shakinghishead

atthesillinessofthemoment.He,too,was

inhispajamas—striped-bluepantsanda

plaincottonshirt—andwanderingthepalace

inbarefeet.

“Whatintheworldareyoudoingupat

thishour?”Iasked.

“Henrihasbeenworkingespeciallyhard

onhisEnglishsinceyouannouncedtheEl-

ite.Andwithadatetomorrow,hewantedto

beextraprepared.Weonlyquitforthedaya

fewminutesago,andIwasheadingtothe

kitchenforsometeaandhoney.Honeyis

supposedtomakeyousleepwell.”Hesaidall

thisinalow,hurriedvoice,asifhewasworriedhemightboreme.

“Isit?Imighthavetotrythattomorrow.I

wasactuallyjustgoingtothekitchenfor

coffee.”

“YourHighness,Ifeelyou’reaverybright

woman,soitpainsmetotellyouthatcoffee

willnothelpyousleep.Notatall.”

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Igiggled.“No,Iknow.Iwasgoingtoget

someworkdone.Ihaven’tbeensleeping,so

IthoughtImightaswellbeuseful.”

“I’mprettysureyou’realwaysuseful.Even

whenyousleep.”

Iduckedmyhead,movingaroundthe

banister,andhefollowedmedownthesteps.

AllIcouldthinkofwashowdrabhehad

seemedthatfirstday,agrayed-outshadow

ofaperson.Iknewnowhisplainnesswashis

shield,hidinghowsmart,thoughtful,and

funnyhewas.ThoughIstilldidn’tunder-

standthechoice,Iknewtherewasmoreto

himthanheletmostpeoplesee.

“HowisHenridoing?WiththeEnglish

lessons?”

Heshruggedandtuckedhishandsbehind

hisback.“Good.Notgreat.WhatItoldyou

beforeisstillverytrue;itwouldbealong

timebeforeyoucouldcommunicateonyour

own.Buthecaressomuch,he’sbeentrying

harderthanever.”Henoddedtohimselfasif

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assessingtheirworkinhishead.“Forgive

me—Ishouldhaveasked.Howareyourpar-

ents?Iheardyourmotherisawakeand

recovering.”

“Sheis,thankyou.Shewassupposedto

movebacktoherroomtoday,buttherewas

somethingfunnyaboutheroxygenlevelsso

theykeptherinthehospitalwingonemore

nightforgoodmeasure.AndDadisstill

sleepinginacotbyherbed.”

Erikgrinned.“Itmakestheideaof‘insick-

nessandinhealth’muchmorerealtoseeit

playoutinfrontofyou.”

Inodded.“Honestly,sometimesit’sintim-

idatingtowatchthem.Findinganything

closetowhattheyhaveseemsimpossible.”

Hesmirked.“There’snowaytoknow

everythingaboutsomeoneelse’srelation-

ship,evenyourparents’.Sometimesespe-

ciallyyourparents’,”headded,asifhe’d

thoughtaboutthisbefore,perhapsabouthis

ownfamily.“Iguaranteeyou—he’sgivena

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terribleChristmaspresentatleastonceand

hasearnedhimselfadayofsilenceforit.”

“Highlyunlikely.”

Erikwasunfazed.“Youhavetoembrace

theideaofimperfection,eveninthething

thatismostperfectforyou.Yourbrother

whiskedawayagirlandgotmarriedina

whirlwindandcouldbediscoveringright

nowthatshesnoressoloudly,hecan’teven

sleep.”

Icoveredmymouth,butnotfastenough

tosmotherthelaughthatescaped.So-

methingabouttheimageofpoorAhrenwith

pillowsslammedoverhisearsreallygotme.

“It’sverypossible,”headded,looking

quitepleasedtohavemademesmile.

“You’veruinedmyimageofCamille!How

amIsupposedtokeepastraightfacethe

nexttimeIseeher?”

“Don’t,”hesaidsimply.“Justlaugh.Your

impressionofeveryoneisprobablywrongin

someway.”

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Shakingmyhead,Isighed.“I’msure

you’reright.WhichmakeseverythingIdo

thatmuchharder.”

“LiketheSelection?”

“Therearemomentswhenaroomfullof

politiciansseemseasiertomanagethansix

boys.ForeverythingI’velearnedsofar,theremustbeadozenthingsI’vemissed.”

“Relyingheavilyongutinstinctsthen?”

“Veryheavily.”

“Well,they’vebeenspot-onaboutHenri.

He’sasniceasheseems.Youmusthave

alreadyknownthat,though,tokeephimin

thefinalpool.”Inoticedsomethingoffabouthistoneashespoke,likethiswasadisappointingthingtoadmit.

Iclaspedmyhandstogether,onlyjust

thenrealizingthatwe’dmovedwellpastthe

kitchen.IsupposedIcouldalwaysgoback

forcoffeeifIstillwantedacup.

“Thiswholesituationhasbeenahardone

tonavigate.Iwasn’tsupposedtohavea

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Selection.Inthepast,princessesweremar-

riedoffforinternationalrelations,butmy

parentspromisedthey’dneverdothattome.

Sotofindmyselfwitharoomfulofboysand

beexpectedtochoosealifelongpartnerfrom

them…it’sscary.AllIhavetogoonarea

handfulofimpressions,andahopethatno

oneisdeceivingme.”

Iriskedaglanceathim,andhewasattent-

ive,hisexpressiondowncast.“Thatsounds

incrediblyfrightening,”hesaidslowly.“I’m

surprisedit’sworkedsowellinthepast.I

don’twanttosoundrude,butitdoesseema

bitunfair.”

Inodded.“That’sexactlywhatIsaidwhen

theideawaspresentedtome.Buttheyin-

sistedthatItry,so…”

“So…thiswasn’tyouridea?”

Ifroze.

“Didyouevenwantittohappen?”

There’sachillthatrunsdownyourback

whenyourealizeyou’vebeencaughtinalie.

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Anditwasscary,becausethishadalready

beenhintedatinthepapers,guessedatby

plentyofpeople.

“Erik,thisneedstostaybetweenus,”Isaid

quietly,thewordscomingoutmorelikeare-

questthanacommand.“Iadmit,inthebe-

ginning,Iwantednothingtodowiththe

Selection.Butnow…”

“Nowyou’reinlove?”heasked,histone

bothcuriousandmelancholy.

Ilaughedonce.“I’malotofthings.Infatu-

ated,frightened,desperate,hopeful.It’dbe

nicetoadd‘inlove’tothelist.”IthoughtofKileandourconversationinthegarden.

Lovewasstilltoobigawordforthat,andnoneofwhatI’dsaidtoKilefeltappropriatetosharewithErik.“SometimesIthinkI’m

close,butrightnow,theSelectionis

somethingIneedtofinish.Foralotofreas-

ons.Alotofpeople,too.”

“Icertainlyhopeyou’reoneofthem.”

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“Iam,”Ipromised.“Justmaybenotinthe

waypeoplewouldthink.”

Hedidn’tanswer.Hemerelywalkedalong,

takinginmywords.

“Youcan’trepeatanyofthat,nottoany-

OceanofPDF.comone.Ican’tbelieveIsaidthosethingstoyou.

IfthisSelectionseemslikeitwasajokeor

fakeinanyway—”

Heheldupahand.“Youdon’thaveto

worryaboutme.I’dneverbreakyourconfid-

ence.Iassumeit’snotaneasythingtoac-

quireinthefirstplace,andI’dhatetowasteit.”

Ismiled.“Well,youmorethanearnedit.

You’vekeptsecretsformealready,and

pulledmeoutofthemiddleofafight,and

broughtmeaflowerwhenyoudidn’thave

to.”

“Itwasonlyadandelion.”

“Perspective,”Iremindedhim,andhe

grinnedathiswordscomingbacktostare

himintheface.“AllI’msayingis,you’ve

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donealotformewithoutbeingunderany

obligationtodoso.You’veearnedmytrust.”

“Good,”hesaidplainly.“BecauseI’mhere

http://oceanofpdf.com

foryou,anythingyouneed,anytimeyou

needit.”

Thesincerityinhisvoicewassopainfully

clearthatIwasdrawntoastandstill.Erik’seyeswereclearandblue,astarkcontrastto

hisdarkhair.Maybethatwaswhytheystood

outsobrilliantlyinthemoment.

“Really?”Iasked,thoughIhadnoreason

todoubthiswords.

“Ofcourse,”hereplied.“You’regoingtobe

mysovereign.It’saprivilegetoserveyou.”

Iclearedmythroat.“Yes.Right.Thank

you.It’sacomfortknowingthereareatleastahandfulofpeopleIdon’thavetobreakmy

backtowinover.”

Hissmilewaskind,andIremindedmyself

thatthiswasavictory,tohavesomeonelike

himonmyside.

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“Ifyou’llexcuseme,”Isaid,stepping

away,“Ireallyoughttotrytosleep.”

Hebowed.“Ofcourse.IknowI’mmeant

tobeatHenri’sdisposal,butpleaseletme

knowifthere’sanythingelseIcandotohelpyou.”

Ismiled,notanswering,andstrodeback

tomyroom,mybackasstraightasanarrow.

“FORTHEREPORTTONIGHT,THEfocuswillbeonyou.”LadyBricewaspacinginfrontof

mydesk.Itwascomfortingtowatchherel-

egantstepsasshethoughteverything

through.Dadwaslikethatsometimes.He’d

makemewalkthegardenwithhimwhilehe

wastryingtounravelamess.

“IknowIdon’thavemuchexperiencedo-

ingthisalone,butGavrilwillbethereto

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help.AndIhaveanideahowtoaddressmy

progresswiththeSelection.”

“Good.It’sabouttimeyoubrought

somethingtothetable,”sheteased.“Speak-

ingoftheSelection,there’ssomethingelse.

I’mtryingtodecideifit’sworthaddressing.”

Isquinted.“What’sgoingon?”

“Well,”shestarted.“MaridIlléawason

anotherradioprogramyesterday.Wehavea

recordingifyou’dliketohearit,butbasic-

ally,it’sgottenoutthathe’svisitedthe

palaceandthathesentyouflowers.”

“So?”

“Sohewasaskedifthatmeantanything.”

Istaredather.“ButI’minthemiddleofa

Selection.How…?”

“Hesaidthesamething,butalsosaidhe

regrettedfallingoutoftouchwithyouand

howbeautifulandintelligentyougrewupto

be.”SheraisedaneyebrowasIfeltmyin-

sidesflutteralittle.

“Hesaidthat?”

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Shenodded.

“Whyarewebringingthisup?”Itriedto

evenmybreaths.

“Youneedtobeawarethatyoutwohave

beenlinkedinthepress.Anditcoulddoone

oftwothings:undermineyourSelectionto

thepointthatitseemsyoudon’tcareaboutitor—”

“Howcoulditundermineit?”

“Well,ifitseemslikeyou’reabandoning

yoursuitorsforhim…”

“Gotit.What’sthesecondthing?”

“Itcouldofferupanothersuitor,ifyou’re

notopposed.”

Ilaughed.“I’mconfidenttherulesofthe

Selectionareprettybinding.Idon’tthinkI

couldsimplyquititforsomeoneelse,could

I?”

Sheshrugged.“He’sprettypopular.”

“Areyouadvisingmetoconsiderhim?”

“No.I’madvisingyoutobeawarethatthis

hasbecomepublic,andyouneedtobe

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consciousofhowyouinteractwithhim.And

withtheElite.”

“Icandothat.EspeciallysinceI’vehardly

interactedwithhim.Idon’twanttodoany-

thingthatmightunderminethisprocess.I’ve

alreadyaccidentallydonethatsomany

times,andIwantthepeopletoknowthis

matterstome.I’vedonenothingtoencour-

ageMarid,andIdon’tthinkit’sworthad-

dressingontheReport.”

“Agreed.”

“Good.”Onlyformewouldagenerousact

ofkindnessbetwistedintosomething

scandalous.

“And,nowdon’ttakethisthewrongway,

butwhatareyouwearingtonight?”

Ilookeddownatmyself.“Ihavenoidea.

I’vehardlybeenabletodressmyself.”

Shestudiedmyclothes.“Thiswillseem

likeaninsult,buttrustmewhenIsaythat’snothowit’sintended.Ithinkyouneedto

stepitupalittle.Whiletheclothesyou’ve

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chosenordesignedinthepasthavebeen

beautiful,it’stimewemoveonfromplaying

withyourfashiontousingitasameansof

backingupyourwords.”

Itfeltlikeastabtothegut,thinkingofundoingthisimageI’dmadejustfor

meand

turningitintosomethingforotherpeople.“Igetthat.Whatareyouthinking?”

Shecrossedherarms,thinking.“Youcould

borrowoneofyourmother’sdresses?”

Ilookedattheclock.“IfIgonow,Ican

picksomething.ButNeena’stheonlyone

whocouldalteritquicklyenough,andshe

needstofinishmyschedulefornextweek.

AndIhavealunchdate.”

She

clasped

her

hands

together.

“Ohhhhh.”

“Seriously?Asifitwasn’tbadenoughto

havemygrandmothertellFoxhowcutehe

is.”

LadyBricewrappedherarmsaroundher-

selfandlaughed.“Didshereally?”

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“There’snostoppingthatwoman.”

“Itmustruninthefamily.Hurry.Gopick

adress.”

“Okay.SendforHale.I’msurehe’sjustas

skilledasNeena,andIguesswe’llfindout

howfastheis.Andmakeabulletpointlist

formefortonight.I’mterrifiedI’mgoingtoblank.”

“I’monit.”

Ihurriedintothehallway,hopingMom

hadn’tbeenreleasedfromthehospitalwing

yetbecauseIwasgoingtofeelwhollyawfulifIbotheredherbylookingforadressinher

room.Nomorethantwostepsoutthedoor,I

sawGunnerwaitingforme.Hepoppedoff

thebenchimmediatelyandbowed.

“Hi.Iseverythingallright?”Iasked,com-

ingover.

“Yeah,”hesaid.“Well,exceptthatI’m

probablyabouttodosomethingsoincredibly

stupidthatIcanfeelmyheartbeatbanging

inmyfeet.”

124/467

“Oh,pleasedon’t.I’vehadenoughstupid

tolastalifetime.”

Hechuckled.“No,it’snotlikethat.Ijust…

Iwantedtoaskyouforsomething.”

Iraisedmyeyebrows,proceedingwith

caution.“Allright.Youhavetwominutes.”

Hegulpedloudly.“Okay,wow.SoI’m

reallyflatteredthatyoukeptmeinthetop

six.ItmademefeellikeIdidsomething

right,thoughI’mstillcluelessastowhatthatwas.”

Ishrugged.“Yourpoemmademelaugh.

Laughterisimportant.”

Hesmiled.“Iagree,butitkindofproves

mypoint.”Hefidgetedwithhishands.“It’s

just,thisfarin,withyousobusyandwith

meneverhavinghadone-on-onetimewith

you,Iwaswonderinghowgoodmychances

are.”

“It’safairquestion.ButIcan’treallyan-

sweritrightnow.Ihavesomuchtofigure

out.”

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“Exactly,”herepliedenthusiastically.“SoI

amgoingtoaskforsomethingridiculous.

CouldIkissyou?”

Isteppedback.“Excuseme?”

“Wedon’thavetodothisifyoudon’twant

to.ButIthinkakisscansayalot.Ithinkonekisswouldbeenoughforyoutoknowifit’s

worthmepursingyouoryoupursuingme.”

Therewassomethingsweetabouthisre-

quest,likeeventhoughapictureofmekiss-

ingKilehadbeenplasteredacrossthecoun-

try,hestilldidn’tthinkitwasagiventhatI’djustgoandkissanyone.Andthathe’d

learnedenoughfromJack’sexpulsionto

movewithcare.Thatalonemademewantto

givehimwhathewasaskingfor.Buttodo

this,topotentiallyloseafinalsuitorwithouteventryingtoknowhimbetter?Itfelt

foolish.

“Youcouldbeaprince.Youcouldhave

moremoneythanyouknewwhattodowith,

besofamouspeoplewhodon’tevenhave

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televisionswouldknowyourface.Areyou

willingtobetallofthatononekiss?”

“I’mwillingtobetyourhappinessand

mineonit.”

Iinhaled,thinking.“Okay.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

Oncethesurpriseworeoff,Gunnerplaced

hishandonmywaist.Heloweredhisfaceto

mine,stoppingmomentarilytolaugh.

“Thisisabitsurreal.”

“I’mwaiting,sir.”

Hesmiledjustbeforeourlipstouched.

Therewereplentyofgoodthingsaboutthe

kiss.Hismouthwasn’trigid,andhedidn’t

trytostickhistonguedownmythroat.He

alsosmelledprettygood,thoughnotlikecin-

namonorflowersoranythingrecognizable.

Overall,Iwouldsaynotbad.

Butthen,thefactthatIcouldmakethat

assessmentasitwasgoingon…

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Gunnerpulledaway,pressedhislipsto-

gether,andconsidered.

“No,right?”

Heshookhishead.“Idon’tthinkso.Not

thatitwasbad!”

“Itjustwasn’tthatgood.”

“Exactly.”Hisstanceshiftedinrelief.

“Thankyousomuchforthisexperience,but

Ithinkit’stimeformetoheadhome.”

Ismiled.“Yousure?You’rewelcometo

stayfortheReport,gohomeinthe

morning.”

“Nah.”Hesmiledbashfully.“IthinkifI

stayed,I’dtrytotalkmyselfbackintoit.YoumightbethemostbeautifulgirlI’llever

meet,but…Idon’tthinkyou’rethegirlfor

me.I’dhatetofindareasonwhyyoucould

bewhenI’vebeentryingtotellmyselffora

whilethatitwasunlikely.”

Iheldoutmyhand.“Irespectthat.Bestof

lucktoyou,sir.”

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Gunnershookmyhand.“Andtoyou,Your

Highness.”

AsGunnermadehiswaytothestairwell,I

sawabutlerescortingHaletowardMom’s

room.Iwavedhimover,thoughhiseyes

wereonmydismissedsuitorastheypassed.

“WhatwasGunnerdoinguphere?”he

asked.

“Makingachoice.Comewithme.Ineed

yourhands.”

ICAMEOUTOFMOM’Sclosetwearingourtop

pick,pressingittomychesttosavemymod-

esty.“Thankyoufordoingthis,”Isaidas

Halewenttowork,pullingatseamsandpin-

ningtheminplace.

“Areyoukidding?I’mhelpingdressmyfu-

turequeenrightnow.I’moverthemoon.”

Hepulledsomemore,watchingthewaythe

fabricreactedinthemirror.“Ofcourse,it’snotthesameasbuildingyouagownfrom

130/467

scratch,butthiswillbeanimpressiveaddi-

tiontomyresume.”

Ichuckled.“Ijustfeelbadyouhavetogive

upyourafternoonforthis.”

“Well,itgetskindofboringintheMen’s

Parlor.I’msureifIaskKile,he’llcomeandsitwithmewhileIwork.OrEan,maybe.”

“Ean,”Isaid,shocked.“It’shardtoima-

ginehimwillinglyjoininganyoneanywhere.”

Halesmiled.“Yeah.Ithinkhe’sfinallyget-

tingusedtous.Hetalkstomesometimes,

andtoErik.Probablybecausehe’snot

competition.”

“Thatmakessense.Eanseemslikethe‘not

heretomakefriends’type,butIdon’tthink

anyonecouldgothroughthiswithoutgetting

closetosomeone.It’stoohard.Asdifficultasitisforme,Iknowit’sjustasbadforyou

all.”

“Wedefinitelygetthebetterendofthe

dealthough,”hesaid,winkingatmy

reflection.

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Itiltedmyhead.“Idon’tknowaboutthat.

ThemoreIthinkaboutit,thesadderIget

abouthavingtosendallbutoneofyouaway.

I’llmisshavingyouhere.”

“Haveyouconsideredaharem?”hesaid,

deadpan.

Ibentoverinlaughterandwasrewarded

withapinstabbingmywaist.“Ow!”

“Sorry!Ishouldn’tjokewhenthereare

needlesaround.”Hewalkedinfrontofme,

andIheldstill,watchinghiseyes,recogniz-

ingtheanalyticalgaze,knowingIdidthe

samethingmyselftodesignsandproposals

andsometimeseventopeople.“Ithinkwe

needtostreamlinethisalittle.Areyousurethisisabsolutelyokaywiththequeen?BecausesomeofthesecutsIcan’tundo.”

“Don’tworry.Youhavefullpermissionto

tweakinanywayyoudeemnecessary.”

“Thatmakesmefeelsoimportant.”

“Well,youare.You’rehelpingmelooklike

aleadertonight.Ittakesathousandlittle

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thingstomakethisrolework,soIoweyou

one.Ortwo.Atleasttwo.”

“Youallright?”

Ilookedup,notrealizinghowsomberI’d

gotten.“Yes.It’sjustalottodealwithsometimes.I’mtryingtoholdittogether,that’s

all.”

Halepulledapinfromthepilethemaid

hadleftusandhelditupforme.“Usethis

nexttimeyoufeellikethingsarefalling

apart.It’llhelp,Ipromise.”

SlowlyItookit,spinningitbetweenmy

fingerandthumb,and,atleastforamo-

ment,Ibelieveditwastrue.

Henriwasrightontime,rushingintothe

parlorasifhe’dbeendyingtorundownfor

thelastfifteenminutes.Hebypassedcere-

monyasheheldmyhandsandkissedmy

cheek,makingmelaugh.

“Hellotoday!”

Ismiled.“Hello,Henri.”

133/467

OverHenri’sshoulder,Erikbowed,andI

gavehimanod.

ItookHenri’sarmandledhimtothe

table,laidwithtwosettingsfairlycloseto-

getherandathirdslightlydistanced.

“Here,”Henrisaid,pullingoutmychair.

OnceIwasseated,heeagerlyranaround

thetabletositacrossfromme…andthe

conversationdrewtoanabrupthalt.Ipulled

thecoveroffmyplatesotheywouldknow

theycoulddothesame,andafterafewsilentbites,Iworkedtobridgethegap.

“How’syourfamily?”Iasked.“Andyour

sister?”

“MitenonAnnika?”hesaid,turningtoErikforconfirmation.Henodded,andHenri

returnedtome,delighted.“Good.Shevery

good.Wemiss.”

Igavehimasadlookandnodded.“Iun-

derstandcompletely.Youhavenoideahow

muchIwishAhrenwashere.”

134/467

Hekepthisexpressioncalmbutleaned

overtoErik,whomutteredatranslationof

myanswerasquicklyashecould.

“Yourmom?Isgood?”Henrisaid,trying

sohard.

“Yes,thankgoodness.Headingbacktoher

roomrightnowandrecoveringnicely.”

OnceagainErikcametoourrescue.We

wentbackandforthinthesamewayfora

fewmoreminutes,andevenwithalltheef-

forthe’dbeenputtingintolearningEnglish,

HenriwasaslostasIwas.Ihatedthis.Itwastooimpersonal.Itwasonethingtoneeda

translatorforavisitingdignitary,butfor

someonewhowasinmyhomedaily,itfelt

liketoomuch.EvenifHenri’stimeinthe

palacewasshort-lived,Ireallywantedtobe

abletospeakwithhim,justhim,atleast

fromtimetotime.

“Erik,howdoesHenridowiththeother

Elite?Dotheyallspeakthroughyou?”

135/467

Hesattaller,takingthisin.“Mostly.Hale

andKilehavepickedupafewwords.”

“Andtheothers?”

Hepursedhislips,lookingguilty,asifhe

wasworriedhe’dsullythereputationofthe

others.“Gunnerhasbeenmarginallyinter-

ested,asisFox,buttheydon’tappearto

wanttotakeonthechallenge.It’salotof

work.AndEanwillspeakwithmebut

doesn’treallytrytospeakwithHenri.”

Iletoutalongsigh,severalthoughtsflit-

tingthroughmyhead.“Wouldyoubeupto

givingusallalittleFinnishlessontomorrowmorning?”

Erikraisedhiseyebrows.“Really?”

“Absolutely.ItseemsunfairthatHenrihas

todoallthework.”AsIsaidhisname,

Henri’seyesdartedovertome.Hewascer-

tainlyfollowingourconversationinhisown

way,butIwasexcitedforhimtodiscoverex-

actlywherethiswasgoing.

136/467

ErikspokeswiftlyinFinnish,andHenri’s

eyeslitup.

“Ispeak,too?Ispeaking?”heaskedasif

thiswasgoingtobeapartyinsteadofa

lesson.

“Ofcourse,”Isaid,andHenrisatthere,

completelybesidehimself,thegearsalready

turninginhishead.

“Ithinkyoujustmadehisday,”Erik

commented.

“I’mupsetIdidn’tthinkofitsooner.Itwillmakethingseasieroneveryone.”

“Ihopeso.ButI’mstillgoingtofocuson

theEnglishlessons.I’mhopingtoavoidany

moreappearancesontheReport.”

Imadeaface.“Itwasn’tthatbad.”

“Itwasawful!”Aftershakinghishead,he

pointedhisforkatme.“Mymomwillnot

stoptalkingaboutit.‘Youlooksogood!Why

didn’tyousmilemore?’Iswear,it’s

maddening.”

137/467

“You’reblamingme?”Iasked,feigning

indignation.

“Forever.ForeverIamblamingyou!I

don’tlikebeingoncamera.”Heshuddered.I

wasgladhedidn’tactuallyseemangry,

thoughIcouldsensehowserioushewas

aboutit.

Ilaughed,andhelookeddownbashfullyat

hisplateashesmiled.ItwasthenIrealizedHenriwasstuckwatchingmechatwithhis

translatorwhileIwassupposedtobeona

datewithhim.

“Youknow,Henri,maybewecoulddoa

fullSwendishimmersionexperience,and

youcouldteacheveryonetomakethatsoup

youweretalkingabout.”

Eriktranslated,andonceagainHenriwas

jubilant.“Kala-keitto!”heexclaimed.

TherewerethingsIwascuriousaboutwith

Henri.Iwantedtoknowmoreabouthisfam-

ily,particularlyhissister.AndIwantedto

knowifhewasatpeacewiththeideaof

138/467

livinghereandworkingbesideme,orifit

worriedhimthatwecouldhavemoments

liketheparadealloveragainandhe’dbe

stucktryingtoprotectmefromangrymasses

fortherestofhislife.Iwantedtoaskhim

aboutthatkissinthekitchen,ifhe’dthoughtaboutitmuchordismisseditasalapseof

judgmentononeorbothourparts.

ButuntilIcouldaskhimthosethings

withouthavingtoaskErik,too,therewasno

wayI’dbeableto.

THEDRESSWASRED.MOMhadn’twornitin

years,whichwasoneofthereasonsIchose

it.Haletrimmedthelonglacesleevesupto

myelbowsandpulledafewofthelayers

frombeneaththegownsoitwasn’tquiteas

full.Hewasrightaboutsomeofthisbeingir-reversible,buthe’dhandleditallsotaste-

fullythatevenifMomeventuallywantedit

back,she’dprobablybethrilledwiththe

alterations.

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Eloisehelpedmedomyhair,anditlooked

sosmart,withbraidsleadingbacktoamod-

estbun.Ichoseatiarawithrubiesinit,andIlookedlikeIwasonfire.

Itwasbeautiful,really.Iknewthat,andI

wasthankfulforallthehandsthathadgone

intomakingmelooklikesomeonewhocould

betrustedwiththedecisionsthathadtobe

madeonbehalfofthecountry.Itjustfeltold,olderthanItrulywas,thoughmaybecloser

totheageIshouldbehave.Sighing,Icametotermswiththedress.ThiswaswhoIhadto

befornow.

Iwastuggingatmyseamsinthestudio

whenJosiecameuptotalktome.“That

dressisamazing,”shepraised,unableto

keepherfingersoffthelayersofsatin.

Ikeptstraightening.“It’smymother’s.”

“I’msorryaboutallthat,bytheway,”she

saidquietly.“Don’tthinkI’vetoldyouyet.”

Iswallowed.“Thankyou,Josie.That

meansalot.”

141/467

“Youknow,sinceeverything’sbeensoseri-

ous,itmightbeagoodideatohaveaparty.”

Ihuffedoutanalmostlaugh.“I’malittle

busyforthat.Maybeoncethingssettle

down.”

“Icouldplanit!Justletmetalktoafew

maids,andwecouldpullsomethingtogether

inaweek.”

Iturnedfromthemirror.“LikeIsaid,

maybeoneday,butnotnow.”Imovedaway,

tryingtofocus.

Shetrailedmeacrosstheroom,insistent.

“Butwhy?Shouldn’tyoubecelebrating?I

mean,you’repracticallythequeen,so—”

Ispunonher,enraged.“ButIamnotthequeen.Thattitlebelongstomymother,who

nearlydied.Thatyousocasuallybrushoverthatfactmakesthecondolencesyoujust

gavememeaningless.Whatdon’tyouget,

Josie?Doyouthinkthisjobisnothingbut

dressesandgalas?”

142/467

Shestoodthere,stunned.Iwatchedher

eyesdartaroundtheroom,checkingtoseeif

anyonewaswatchingourinteraction.I

didn’twanttohumiliateher.Inaway,Iun-

derstoodher.Theremighthavebeenatime

whennothingbroughtmemorejoythana

reasontostartaguestlist,atimewhenI

thoughtthisrolewasnothingmorethan

dressesandgalasmyself…

Isighed.“I’mnottryingtoinsultyou.But

itwouldbeinappropriatetothrowaparty

whenmymotherisstillrecuperating.Please,

whatIneedfromyoutonightissomelevelof

understanding,whichIrealizemaybetoo

much,consideringourhistory.Still,formy

sanity,Ibegyou,justtrytoconsiderwhatit’sliketobeinmyshoes.”

Shesulked.“That’sallI’veeverwanted.Of

coursethatonlymatterstoyouwhenit’s

convenient.”

Iwantedtoripherheadoff.Whatpart

aboutmyliferightnowdidshethinkwas

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convenient?ButIhadabroadcasttothink

about.

“Excuseme?”Icalledtoapassingmaid.

“PleaseescortMissJosietoherroom.Her

attitudetonightisunsettling,andIneedto

concentrate.”

“Yes,YourHighness.”Themaidturned

cheerfullytoJosie,notworriedaboutour

personalissuesandreadytodoherjob.

Josiehuffed.“Ihateyou.”

Ipointedtothedoor.“Yes,andyoucando

thatfromyourroomjustaswellasfrom

here.”

Withoutwaitingtoseeifsheobeyed,I

mademywaytomyseat.I’dneverseenitset

upthisway:theEliteononesideanda

singlechairontheother.

AsIwasstaringatthesad,lonelyseat,Kilesidleduptome.

“WhatwasthatwithJosie?”

144/467

Ismiledandbattedmyeyes.“Nothing,

sweetheart.Justmakingmeseriouslydoubt

howmuchIwantherasanin-law.”

“Stilltoosoon.”

Ilaughed.“No,wehada…disagreement.

AndIfeelkindofbad,becauseIunderstand

her.Ijustwishshecouldunderstandme.”

“ThatmightbehardforJosie.She’sonly

awareofherself.Also,haveyouseen

Gunner?”

Isquinted.“Heleftthisafternoon.Didn’t

hesaygood-bye?”

Kileshookhishead.

Iwalkedovertotheotherboys,whoallsat

upstraighterasIapproached.“DidGunner

saygood-byetoanyofyou?”

Theothersshooktheirheadsinconfusion

asFoxclearedhisthroat.“Hestoppedbyto

seeme.Gunner’sabitsentimental,andhe

didn’thaveitinhimtogothroughalong

farewell.Hejustsaidthiswasn’trightfor

himandthathehadyourapprovaltogo.”

145/467

“Hedid.Wepartedonverygoodterms.”

Foxnodded.“Ithinkhethoughthe’dlose

hisresolveifhestuckaround.Heaskedme

topassontoeveryonehowmuchhewould

missyou.”Hesmiled.“Reallyniceguy.”

“Hewas.Buttakehiswordstoheart,”I

pleaded,lookingateachoftheirfaces.“Thisisaboutyourfuturesaswell.Don’tstayfor

somethingthatyoumightnotbeableto

handle.”

Kilenodded,lookingsuddenlypensive.

Halegavemeabrightsmile.Eanwasim-

passiveasever,andHenriwastakingin

Erik’stranslation,lookingconfused.

CertainlyI’dspendtherestofmyevening

overanalyzingtheirexpressions,butfornow,

wehadashowtoputon.

“Hale,”Iwhispered,pointingtothegown.

“Thankyou.”

“Beautiful,”hemouthed.Iknewhemeant

it,andItriedtoholdmyselftaller.Iwantedtodothisdressjusticetonight.

146/467

Thecameraswenton,andIgreetedthe

countryashonestlyasIcould.

“Letmebeginwiththenewsyou’remost

eagertohear.Mymotherisdoingwell.AsI

speak,sheishealinginherroom,withmy

fatherbyherside.”ItriedtostopfocusingonhowIwasstandingorwhatIshoulddowith

myhands.InsteadIthoughtofmyparents,

nodoubtwatchingthisinpajamaswith

doctor-approvedsnacksbytheirsides.And

whenIpicturedthat,Ismiled.“Weallknow

thattheirlovestorymaybethetruestone

evertold.Thoughithasbeennosmalltask

tostepintomyfather’srole.

“Mybrother,Ahren,nowtheprincecon-

sortofFrance,isalsoatestamenttothe

powerofthedeepestlove.FromwhatIun-

derstand,heissettlingintohisnewpositionverywellandisalreadyveryhappytobea

husband.”Mysmilecreptthroughagain.

“Noneofthissurprisesme.Hisdevotionto

PrincessCamilleoverbothtimeanddistance

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hasbeenconstantandstrong,andIcanonly

imaginehishappinessatgettingtobebeside

hereverymoment.

“Asforthecountryatlarge”—Iglancedat

mynotes,thoughIhatedtodoit—“someof

thedisquietwe’vebeenexperiencinghasdi-

minishedoverthelastfewweeks.”Inone

waythatwasabsolutelytrue,butasfaras

disquietrelatedtome,mynoseoughttobe

growingasIspoke.“Takingintoaccount

howmuchworkmyfatherhasputintothe

causeofpeaceabroad,thethoughtthatwe

couldfinallybeachievingagreaterpeaceat

homebringsmeextraordinaryjoy.”

IhitoneverythingIwassupposedto—the

budgetproposal,theupcomingstarttothe

drillingproject,andthechangeintheadvis-

oryboard,whichmadeafewpeopleinthe

roomsquirm—andwhenitwasalldone,I

searchedthecrowdforafewimportant

faces.LadyBricegavemeabignod,asdid

GeneralLeger.IsawGrandmafidgeting,

148/467

impatientwiththelengthyannouncements,

andlikelyonlyholdingonsoshecouldhear

theboysspeak.And,justoffthestage,Erik

smiledatme,pleased.

“YourHighness.”Gavrilbowedashe

spoke.“MayIsay,consideringthecircum-

stancesunderwhichyou’vebeenthrustinto

thisrole,youaredoingafantasticjob.”

“Thankyou,sir.”Ididn’tknowhowgenu-

inethatstatementwas,butmaybehimsay-

ingitwouldmakeotherpeoplethinkit.

“Onehastowonder,ifyou’vebeenwork-

ingatsuchapace,haveyoumadeanytime

forthislotoverhere?”heasked,noddinghisheadtowardtheElite.

“Alittle.”

“Really?Anythingyoucansharewithus?”

Hewiggledhiseyebrows,andIwasre-

mindedagainofthewaysinwhichhison-

camerapersonalitydifferedfromhisoff-

cameraone.Entertainmentwashisjob,and

hewasgreatatit.

149/467

“Yes,butforfun—Iwon’tbeusingnames.”

“Notusingnames?”

“Forinstance,onememberoftheElitehas

leftustoday,”Isaid,thoughIknewthiswasathrowawaythat’dbeunraveledinseconds.

“Iwouldliketosayofourdepartedsuitor

thatheleftingoodspiritsandasafriend.”

“Ah,Isee,”Gavrilsaid.“Ilikethis!Giveussomemore.”

“Well,todayoneofmysuitorsgavemea

giftmadefromaverypreciousmetal.”

“Oh,my!”Gavrilsurveyedmyhands,look-

ing,aseveryonewould,forrings.

Iheldthemupfortheworldtosee.“No,

notgold.Itwassteel.Hegavemeasewing

pin.ButIpromise,itwasveryspecial.”

Chucklesarosefromouraudienceand

fromtheElite,andIhopedthatthiswasas

charmingoncameraasitwasinmyhead.

“Pleasetellmeyouhaveatleastone

more,”Gavrilpleaded.

150/467

“Onemore,”Iallowed.“Earlierthisweek,

oneoftheElitetoldmehedefinitelywasn’t

inlovewithme,andItoldhimIfeltthe

sameway.”

Gavrilwaswide-eyed.“Isthisthesame

youngmanwhohappenedtoleaveus?”

“No.Andthat’sthecrazypart.We’renotin

loveandyetwehavenodesiretobesepar-

ated,sothereyougo.”Igaveaplayfulshrug,andsmiledasIlistenedtothesighsand

laughteraroundtheroom.

“WhileI’msureafairshareofourcountry

willbeuplatetonighttryingtoguesswho

you’retalkingabout,itwouldbenicetohavesomethingabitmoresolid.”

“Youmighthavetotalktotheboysabout

that.”

“ThenIthinkweshalldojustthat.MayI

goandquizthesehandsomeyoungmen?”

“Byallmeans,”Irepliedwithasmile,

happytobackoutofthespotlightforone

beautifulmoment.

151/467

“Allright,let’sstartdownhere.SirFox,

howareyou?”

“Verygood,sir.Thankyou.”Hesatupa

littlestraighterandsmiledbrightly.

“Thepeopleunderstandthattheprincess

hasbeenunderalotofstressandherdays

arepackedfull,sotheone-on-onetimehas

beenlimited,”Gavrilsaidgraciously.

“Yeah,itwasimpressivetoseehowhard

shewasworkingbefore,soseeinghertake

onevenmoretheselastfewdays…it’s

inspiring.”

Itippedmyhead,feelingalittlewarmin-

side.Inspiring?Thatwassuchakind

thought.

Gavrilnoddedinagreement.“Considering

allthat,couldyoutellussomethingfrom

yourtimewiththeprincessthathasstood

outagainstalltherest?”

Instantly,asmilecametoFox’sface.“I

supposethemostsignificantmomentofour

relationshipwouldbeafterthefight,when

152/467

Burkewenthome.Shecameandspoketome

andwassohonestaboutwhatshehopedfor.

Shelistenedtome,too.Ithinkthat’sasideofherthatfewpeoplehavetheprivilegeof

seeing.It’snotasifshecangodoor-to-doorgivingeveryoneanhourofhertime…but

whenshe’swithyou,she’sallthere.She’s

reallyhearingyou.”

IrememberedthatnightwithFoxwarmly,

butIdidn’trealizehowmuchithadmeantto

him.He’dtreasuredthatmoment.

Kileraisedhishand.“I’dhavetoagree

withthat.EveryoneknowsthatEad—uh,the

princessandIreallyonlybeganourfriend-

shiprecently.Andinthattime,I’vefeltalotofmyworriesandaspirationshavebeen

heard.”

“Likewhat?”Gavrilprodded.

Heshrugged.“Imean,it’snothingexcit-

ing,butIdohaveapassionforarchitecture,andtheprincessactuallysatdownand

lookedatmysketches.”Heraisedafingeras

153/467

ifhesuddenlyrememberedsomething.

“Granted,we’dhadsomewine,andI’msure

shewasverybored,butstill.”

Everyonechuckled,andIsmiledatKile.

Hemadebeingoncameralooksoeasy,al-

wayscomingupwithwonderfulthingsto

say.ItmademefeelsurerI’dmadetheright

calltellinghimhowIfelt.

Carryingthemomentum,Gavrilbypassed

HenriandheadedstraighttoEan.Ihated

thatHenriwasbeingexcluded,butitlooked

likeGavrilhadaplan.

“SirEan,youaremaybethequietestoneof

thebunch.Doyouhaveanythingtoadd?”

Hisexpressionwasascoolasever.“Iama

manoffewwords,”heagreed,“butIwillsay

thattheprincessisincrediblythoughtful.

Thoughthereareonlyfiveofusleft,noneoftheeliminationsweremadeflippantly.Just

bygettingtoknowtheseothergentlemen,I

canseetheefforttheprincesshasputinto

154/467

makingthebestpossiblechoiceforherself

andforherpeople.

“Whatthecamerascouldn’tcapturewas

themoodintheMen’sParlorwhenshehad

tomakehermostrecentelimination.There

wasn’tadropofanimosityintheair.She’s

beensogenerouswithusthatitwasim-

possibletobeupset.Alltheothersuitorsleftsatisfied.”

Gavrilnodded.“Sohowdoyouthinkyour

chancesare?You’vemadeittothetopfive!”

Ean,asalways,wasnothingbutsmooth.“I

amatHerHighness’sdisposal.Sheisthe

bestwomananyofuscouldpossiblyattain,

andassuchhasincrediblestandards.It’snotaboutmyassessmentofmyodds,it’sabout

herpreference.Forthatwewillallwaitand

see.”

I’dneverheardEanspeaksomuchat

once,butIfoundmyselffeelinginstantlyin-

debtedtohim.Thoughwehadanunder-

standinginourrelationship,anditwas

155/467

admittedlyunromantic,hestillsawsomuch

goodinme.That,orhewasanincredible

actor.

“Veryinteresting.Whataboutyou,Sir

Hale?AsIrecall,youhadthefirstdatewiththeprincess.Howareyoufeelingright

now?”

“Ifeellucky,”hesaidwarmly.“I’vegrown

upseeingherinparades,andwatchingher

ontelevision,andseeingherfacein

magazines.”Hepointedacrosstheroomat

me.“She’ssoprettyit’sintimidating,andshehasthislooklikemaybeshecouldburnyou

withhereyesifshefeltlikeit.”

Partofthatstung,buttherewas

somethingsoterriblyhonestaboutitthatI

couldn’tnotsmile.

“ButIgottohavedinnerwithheronce

andmadeherlaughsohardshespither

drinkout.”

“Hale!”

156/467

Heshrugged.“Someonewouldfindout

someday.Youmightaswellshare!”

Icoveredmyfacewithmyhands,wonder-

ingwhatMomandDadwouldthinkofall

this.

“Mypointis,everythingwe’vesaidabout

heristrue.She’stough,she’saleader,and,yes,Ithinkifshewantedtoshootfirefrom

hereyes,shecoulddoit.”Theroom

chuckled.“Butshe’salsoagreatlistener,andisinvested,andknowshowtolaugh.Like,

reallylaugh.I’mnotsureeveryonewillgettoseethat,soIfeelluckythatIdid.”

Theentiresegmentwassuchaglorious

tributetomyfinerqualitiesthatIalmost

wonderediftheboyshadbeencoached.And

iftheyhad,thenIowedsomethinghugeto

whoeverthoughtofit.

Asthecameraswentdown,Iwalkedover

toGavril.“Thankyou.Youwereoutstanding

tonight.”

157/467

“Ihavealwaysbeenonyourside,andIal-

wayswillbe.”Hewinkedatmeandwenton

hisway.

Iwatchedastheaudiencefilteredout,and

Istoodthereamomentfeelingproud.I’d

gottenthroughit,almostentirelyonmy

own.TheElitewerefantastic,kinderthanI

couldhaveguessedorhoped.MomandDad

weregoingtobesopleased.

“Welldone.”Kilewrappedanarmaround

me.“YourfirstsoloReportisinthebooks!”

“Iseriouslythoughttonightmightbeadis-

aster,butlook!”Isaid,leapingawayand

holdingoutmyarms.“I’mstillinonepiece.”

Halecameoverandchuckled.“Didyou

thinkpeoplewouldstreaminthroughthe

doorsandtearyoutobits?”

“Youneverknow!”

Foxlaughed,andEanstoodback,still

smiling.Iwassograteful.IfI’dknownhow

toarticulateit,I’dhaveunabashedlygushed

abouthowgreatthey’dbeentonight.

158/467

“Dinner?”Foxasked,andtheboysall

nodded.

IheardHenrisayingonewordoverand

overagainexcitedly,whichIassumedmeant

hewasthrilledtobegettingfood.Weall

formedalittlegroupandwalkedtothedin-

inghalltogether.

IFELTSOCONTENTASwewalkedupthestairs

anddownthehallways,asenseoffamiliarity

andpeacesurroundingmethatIsuspected

hadalottodowithmefeelingsocomfort-

ablewithmycompany.

Itlastedrightupuntilthemomentwe

walkedthroughthedining-halldoors.

MomandDadwerestillupstairs,and

Grandmahadretreatedtoherroom.Osten

wasn’tfeelingwellthisevening,soKaden

160/467

waskeepinghimcompany,andmytwinwas

stillanoceanawayfrommeandthensome.

OnelookattheemptyheadtableandI

wantedtogoandhideawaymyself.

“YourHighness?”Erikasked,andIturned

tofindmyselfinchesawayfromhiscon-

cernedeyes.Therewassomethingcalming

aboutthem,adetailIrememberedfrom

afterthefightinthekitchen.I’dlookedintothemthenandfeltlikeIhadseenright

throughtohissoul.Evennow,withsomany

peoplearound,justseeinghiscrystal-clear

blueeyessearchminesweptawaymysad-

ness.“Areyouallright?”hesaid,andIcouldtellfromhistonethathe’dalreadyaskedme

onceandI’dmissedit.

“Yes.Couldyoupleasegograbthose

chairsandputthemontheothersideofthe

headtable?You,too,Ean?”Theywalkedoff

tofollowmyrequest.“Hale,Fox?Canyou

gettheplacesettings?”

161/467

Imoved,too,pickingupsilverwareand

glasses,andmakingmywaytothehead

table.Beforeanyoneelsecouldchoosea

place,ItookDad’schairformyself.Kilewasononeside,andHalewasontheother.Fox,

Henri,Erik,andEansatacrossfromus,and

suddenlythatlong,imposingtablefeltlike

anintimatedinnerparty.Justmeandmy

boys.

Thebutlerswerealittledisorganizedas

theyserved,unpreparedfortheimpromptu

rearrangementbutmakingittoeveryonein

goodtime.And,takingacuefromourdate,

Henriduginfirstandtheothersfollowed.

“So,Ihopeyou’reallreadyfortomorrow,”

Iannounced.“ErikandHenriaregivingus

Finnishlessonsinthemorning.”

“Really?”

Kile

asked

excitedly.

Erik

blushedalittleandnodded.

“What’sinthelessonplans?”Foxasked.

Erikraisedhiseyestotheceilingasifhe

wasstilldeciding.“HenriandIweretalking,

162/467

andIthinkwe’llbypasstheusualfirst-day

things,likethealphabet.Whatwouldbe

mosthelpfulinthissituationisbasicconversationalskills.Sotellingtimeandotherre-

questswillbeatthetopoftheagenda.”

“Neat!”Halecommented.“I’vebeenwant-

ingtolearnmore.Greatidea,Erik.”

Heshookhishead.“Itwasourfuture

queen’sidea.Thecreditbelongstoher.”

“Hey,”Kilesaid,gettingmyattention.

“Canwealsotakeamomenttotalkabout

howgreatyouwereontheReportagain?Iknowyou’vedoneannouncementsandstuff,

butmanagingawholeshowonyourownis

nosmallfeat.”

“Also,”Foxadded,“howawesomeisthe

seatingarrangementtonight?Forallbutone

ofus,thisistheonlytimewe’lleversitattheheadtableinthepalace.Unforgettable.”

“Agreed,”Eanadded.

AndwhileHenrididn’taddmuchtothe

conversation,Icouldtellhewaspleased,too.

163/467

But,ofcourse,itwouldhavebeenmoresur-

prisingtoseehimupset.AsErikcaughthim

upontheconversation,heraisedhisglass.

“ForEadlyn,”hesaid.

Theothersputtheirdrinksintheairand

chorusedhistoast.Ifoundmyselfblinking

backhappytearsandunabletosayaword.

Noteventhankyou,thoughIcouldtellfromthelooksintheireyesthatitwasalready

understood.

Therewereplentyofgoodthingsforthe

countrytofocuson,butwithamasselimina-

tionearlierintheweekandGunnerleaving

beforetheReport,itlookedlikeIwaspushingpeopleawayagain.Atleastthat’swhat

thepaperssaid.Itwasasiftheydidn’thearasinglethingEanhadsaidabouthowI’d

toiledoverthatdecision.Anentirelive

broadcastwasbroughttorubblebyahand-

fulofheadlines.

Surprisingly,beneaththosestorieswas

Marid’shandsomefacesplashedacrossthe

164/467

papersnexttomine,withcommentaryon

howhe’dmissedoutnowthatI’dbegunmy

Selectionprocess.

“Givemethose,”Neenainsisted,balling

upthepapersandsmooshingthemintothe

trashcan.“Itseemsthey’rereportinglittle

newsandplentyofgossipthesedays.”

“Undoubtedly,”LadyBriceagreed.“Focus

lessonwhatpeoplesayandmoreonwhat

youcanaccomplish.”

Inoddedmyhead,knowingshewasright.

ShetoldmethingsIfeltsuremyfather

wouldifhewasintheroom,andthoughit

wasn’talwayseasy,Ifeltcompelledtolisten.

“I’mjustnotsureIcanfocusonwhatI’m

capableofaccomplishinguntilIgetpublic

opinionundercontrol.AnythingIpropose,

evenifitissomethingtheymighthave

championedifMomorDadhadinitiatedit,

willprobablybemetwithopposition.Ineed

tochooseahusband,”Isaiddecidedly.“Ifeelconfidentthatwillhelpwithpublicopinion,

165/467

andlet’sallhopeso,becausetheydon’tlikeme.”

“Eadlyn,that’snot—”

“It’strue.Iknowitis,LadyBrice.I’veex-

perienceditmyself.NeedIremindyouofthe

parade?”

Shecrossedherarms.“Okay,fine.You’re

notexactlypopular.AndIcanseehowfind-

ingapartnermightswaythat.So,isthat

whatwe’refocusingontoday?”

“Atleastforthenextfiveminutes.Itrust

myheadalittlemorethanmyheart,sohelp

me.Talkitout.”

Neenashrugged.“Who’supfirst?Kile?

Theentirepalaceispullingforhim.He’sso

cuteandsmartandoh,mygoodness,ifyou

don’twanthim,sendhimmyway.”

“Don’tyouhaveaboyfriend?”

Shesighed.“Ihateitwhenyou’reright.”

Ilaughed.“I’dbelyingifIsaidIdidn’tfeelaconnectionwithhim.Ieventoldhimas

much…butIkeeppausingonhim.I’mnot

166/467

surewhy,butI’mnotreadytosayhe’smy

firstchoice.”

“Okay,”LadyBricereplied.“Whoelse?”

“Hale.He’sgotagreatattitudeandhas

vowedtoprovehimselftomeeveryday.He’s

yettofail.Andhe’seasytobearound.That’soneofthereasonsIlikeFox,too.”

“FoxismoreattractivethanHale,”Neena

said.“Nottobeshallow,butthosethings

matterinpublicopinion.”

“Iunderstandthat,butbeautyissubject-

ive.Youknowhowsometimeswhatmakesa

personattractiveisthewaytheymakeyou

laughorhowitseemsliketheycanreadyour

mind?Iwanttothinkaboutthat,too.”

Neenasmiled.“Soyou’dpickHaleover

Foxthen?”

Ishookmyhead.“That’snotwhatImeant

exactly.I’monlytryingtosaythatlooks

aren’teverything.Weneedtofocusonother

qualities.”

“Like?”LadyBriceencouraged.

167/467

“LikehowHenriisendlesslyoptimistic.

Nomatterthecircumstance,heisabeacon

ofjoy.AndIdon’tdoubthisaffectionformeintheslightest.”

Neenarolledhereyes.“That’sfine,buthe

can’tspeakEnglish.There’snowayyoutwo

haveeverhadaconversationthatdidmore

thanskimthesurface.”

“That’s…well,that’strue.Buthe’svery

sweetandwouldbegoodtome.Eriksaidit

waspossibleforHenritolearn,butitmight

takeawhile.Andhe’sbeenupuntilmidnight

studyingsincehebecameanElite.Andfor

mypart,I’monmywaytoaFinnishlesson

rightnow.Wecanworkonthisfromboth

ends,andErikcouldstayonforaslongasittookforustoadjust.”

LadyBriceshookherhead.“That’srather

unfairtoErik.Hehasafamily,ajob.He

didn’tsignuptopossiblybestuckatthe

palaceforthenextfiveyears.Whatifhe

wantstofindapartnerofhisown?”

168/467

Iwantedtoshootbackthatshewaswrong

…butIcouldn’t.Erikdidn’tknowhowlong

theSelectionwouldlastwhenheagreedto

come,buthecertainlydidn’tgointothis

thinkinghe’dliveatthepalaceuntilhis

chargewasfluentinEnglish.Anditwouldbe

unkindtoaskhimtodojustthat.

“He’dstay.Iknowit,”wasallIsaid.

Therewasasilenceafterthat,likeLady

BriceknewIwasinthewrongandwasde-

batingcallingmeonit.Insteadshesighed.

“Who’sleft?Ean?”sheasked.

“Ean’salittletrickier,buttrustme,he’s

important.”

Neenasquinted.“Sothen…they’reall

front-runners?”

Isighed.“Iguessso.I’mnotsureifthat

meansIchosewellorchosepoorly.”

LadyBricelaughed.“Youchosewell.

Really.ImaynotunderstandEan’sappealor

howyou’dmakethingsworkwithHenri,but

theyallhavetheirmerits.Ithinkwhatwe

169/467

needtodoatthispointisstepuptheirtraining,reallystartgroomingthemforthe

throne.Thatwillhelpelevatesomeofthem,

I’msure.”

“Grooming?Thatsoundscreepy.”

“Idon’tmeanitlikethat.I’msimply

saying—”

LadyBrice’snextwordswerelostbecause,

withoutanywarning,Grandmaflungthe

dooropen.

“Youreallyneedtoaskpermissionfirst,”a

guardwarnedherinahushedtone.

Shekeptwalkingtowardme.“Well,my

girl,it’stimeformetoheadout.”

“Sosoon?”Iasked,embracingher.

“Icanneverstaytoolong.Yourmotheris

recoveringfromaheartattack,andshestill

hastheaudacitytoordermearound.Iknow

she’sthequeen,”sheconceded,raisingher

handsintheairinsurrender,“butI’mher

mother,andthattrumpsqueenanyday.”

170/467

Ilaughed.“I’llrememberthatfordownthe

road.”

“Youdothat,”shesaid,rubbingmycheek.

“Andifyoudon’tmind,getyourselfahus-

bandassoonasyoucan.I’mnotgettingany

younger,andI’dliketoseeatleastonegreat-grandchildbeforeI’mdead.”Shestaredat

mystomachandshookherfinger.“Don’tlet

medown.”

“Ooooookay,Grandma.Wehavetoget

backtoworkhere,soyouheadonhomeand

makesuretocallwhenyougetthere.”

“Willdo,honey.Willdo.”

Istoodinsilence,baskingintheinsanity

thatwasmygrandmother.

Neenaleanedover.“Now,whichofyour

topfivedoyouthinkwouldbethemost

eagerbabymaker?Shouldweputthatona

checklist?”

Evenmymostviolentglaredidnothingto

diminishhergiddiness.“Don’tforget,Ican

callinafiringsquadatanymomentifIlike.”

171/467

“Youcancallthatfiringsquadwhenever

youwant,butI’vegotGrandmaonmyside,

soI’vegotnothingtoworryabout.”

Islumped,lettingthesillinessofitall

settlein.“Sadly,Neena,Ithinkyou’reright.”

“Don’tfeeltoobad.Shemeanswellatthe

heartofitall.”

“I’lltryandrememberthat.Soareweokay

fornow?IneedtogolearnsomeFinnish.”

“Sorry,sorry,sorry!”Isaid,burstingintothelibrary.Theboyscheeredatmyentrance,

andIscurriedovertoanopenseatatatablewithHenri,Hale,andEan.“Dutycalled.”

Erikchuckled,placingasmallpacketof

papersinfrontofme.“You’reexcused.Don’t

worry.Wehaven’tgottentoofar.Lookover

thefirstpage,andHenriwillhelpyouwith

pronunciationswhileIcheckhoweveryone

elseisdoing.Thenwe’llmoveon.”

“Okay.”Ipickedupthepaper—acopy

madeofErik’shandwrittennoteswithhand-

drawnpicturesinthemargin—andsmiled.

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Firsttaskofthedaywaslearningtocounttotwelve,sowecouldtelltime.Staringatthissimplelessonmademeinstantlyembarrassed.AllIcouldthink

ofwasthatit

seemedthereweren’tenoughvowelsinthe

words,andtheonesthatbotheredtoshow

upwereallinthewrongplaces.“Allright,”Isaid,lookingatthefirstword:yksi.

“Yucksey?”

Henrigiggledandshookhishead.“Issaid

yoo-ksi.”

“Yooksi?”

“Yes!Go,go,”heencouraged,andthoughI

couldn’tbeanythingclosetoperfect,itwas

stillnicehavingmyownpersonalcheerlead-

er.“Issaidkahk-si.”

“Kahk-si…kaksi.”

“Good,good.Now,iskolme.”

“Coolmay,”Itried.

“Ehhh,”hesaid,stilltryingtobepositive.

“Kohl-may.”

173/467

Itriedagain,butIcouldseeIwasgetting

itwrong.Iwasbeingfoiledbythenumber

three.Everthegentleman,heleanedin,pre-

paringtotakeasmuchtimeasIneeded.

“Issaidoh.Kohl-may.”

“Ooh.Ooh,”Itried.

Heliftedhishandandgentlyputhisfin-

gersonmycheeks,tryingtochangethe

shapeofmymouth,andittickled.Ibrokein-

toasmile,unabletoevenmakethesoundhe

wasgoingforinthefirstplace.Butheheld

myfaceallthesame.Afteramoment,the

humorlefthiseyes,andIrecognizedthe

lookinthem.I’dseenitbefore,inthekit-

chen,whenhe’dturnedhisshirtintoanap-

ronforme.

Itwassuchacaptivatingstare,Icom-

pletelyforgottherewereotherpeopleinthe

room.

UntilErikdroppedabookontheother

desk.“Excellent,”hesaid,andIpulledaway

fromHenriasquicklyasIcould,praying

174/467

thatnoonehadnoticedwhathadnearlyjust

happened.

“Itlookslikeyou’realldoingwellwiththe

numbers,sowe’regoingtostartusingthem

insentences.Ifyou’lllookupattheboard

here,I’vegotawrittenexample;butasI’m

sureyou’vealreadyguessed,thepronunci-

ationisabittricky.”

Theboyslaughed,seemingtohave

struggledwiththenumbersasmuchasIhad

…andalsoseemingtohavebeentooen-

grossedtohavenotedmyalmostkiss.Ifo-

cusedmygazeontheboard,tryingtotakein

thephoneticsofthewordsinfrontofmein-

steadoffocusingonhowcloseHenriwas

sitting.

THEFIRSTFREEMOMENTIhadthatdaywas

lunch,andIknewIneededtousethetimeto

focusondamagecontrol.Whileeveryone

headedofftothediningroomafterourFin-

nishlesson,Iwentbacktomyofficeand

pulledMarid’scardfrommydeskdrawer.It

wasclearlymadefromexpensivepaper.I

wonderedwhathisfamilywasdoingnowto

affordthat.Theymusthavedonewellfor

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themselves,wherevertheirpathhadtaken

them.

Idialedthenumber,kindofhopinghe

wouldn’tpickup.

“Hello?”

“Yes,um,Marid?”

“Eadlyn,isthatyou?”

“Yes.”Ifidgeted,straighteningoutmy

clothes,eventhoughhecouldn’tseeme.“Is

thisanokaytime?”

“Absolutely.HowcanIhelpyou,Your

Highness?”

“Ijustwantedtosay,Isawsomespecula-

tionaboutourrelationshipinthepressthe

otherday.”

“Oh,yeah.I’msorryaboutthat.Youknow

howtheycantakeathingoutofcontext.”

“Ido,”Inearlyexclaimed.“Andreally,I

wantedtoapologizetoyou.Iknowwhatan

upheavalitcanbewhensomeone’slifeis

caughtupinmine,andI’msorryyou’vebeen

goingthroughthat.”

177/467

“Eh,let’emtalk,”herepliedwithalaugh.

“Really,noapologynecessary.ButwhileI’ve

gotyou,Iwantedtorunanideapastyou.”

“Sure.”

“Iknowyou’vebeenworriedaboutthe

post-casteviolence,andIthoughtitmightbegoodforyoutohavesomethinglikeatown

hallsession.”

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Youcouldchooseahandfulofpeople

fromvariousbackgroundstocometothe

palaceandsitdownwithyoupersonally.It

wouldbeauniqueopportunitytohearfrom

yourpeople,andifyouinvitedthepress,it

mightalsobearatherspectacularopportun-

itytoshowhowwellthepalacelistenstoitspeople.”

Iwasstunned.“Actually,that’sawonder-

fulidea.”

“Ifyouwant,Icantakecareofmostofthe

arrangementsforyou.Ihaveafewlinkswith

somefamiliesthatusedtobeEights,aswell

178/467

assomethathavehadahardtimelettinggo

oftheirTwostatus.Maybewecouldplanon

invitingadozenorsopeople,soyou

wouldn’tbeoverwhelmed?”

“Marid,thatsoundsperfect.I’mgoingto

havemylady-in-waitingcallyou.Hername

isNeenaHallensway,andshe’sasorganized

asyouseemtobe.Sheknowsmyschedule

andwouldbethebestpersontotalktoabout

atimeanddate.”

“Excellent.I’llwaittohearfromher.”

Therewasalongsilence,andIwasn’t

quitesurehowtobreakaway.

“Thankyou,”Itried.“Nowmorethanever,

IreallyneedtoprovehowmuchIcareabout

mypeople.Iwantthemtoknowthat,ina

fewyears,I’llbeasabletoleadthemasmy

father.”

“Howanyonecoulddoubtthatisamystery

tome.”

179/467

Ismiled,thrilledtohaveaddedanother

allytomyarsenal.“Sorrytorushoff,butI

mustbegoing.”

“Notatall.We’lltalkagainsoon.”

“Ofcourse.Good-bye.”

“Good-bye.”

Ihungupthephoneandsighedinrelief.

Thatwasn’tasawkwardasI’dbeenfearingit

wouldbe.Marid’swordsranginmyears.Let

’emtalk.Iknewtheyalwayswould.Hopefullysoon,they’dhavesomethingpositiveto

say.

“WAIT,WHICHWAYDOTHESEguysmoveagain?”

Haleaskedbeforereachingoverandpicking

uptwopetitsfoursandsettingthemonhis

plate.

“Bishopsmovediagonally.Iwouldn’tdo

thatifIwasyou,butit’syourfuneral.”

Helaughed.“Okay.Whataboutthelittle

castleones?”

“Straightlines,eithersidetosideorback

andforth.”

181/467

Hemovedhisrook,takinganotheroneof

mypawns.“Honestly,Ineverwouldhave

peggedyouforachessgirl.”

“I’mnotreally.Ahrenusedtobeobsessed,

andheforcedmetoplaywithhimevery

singledayformonths.Butthenhegotseri-

ousaboutCamille,andallhischesstime

turnedintoletter-writingtime.”

Imovedmybishopandtookhisknight.

“Ugh,Ididn’tevenseethat,”helamented

betweenbites.“I’vebeenwantingtoaskyou

aboutAhren,butIwasn’tsureifyouwereup

forit.”

Ishrugged,preparedtodismisstheinvita-

tion,butinsteadIremindedmyselfthatifI

wasgoingtohaveashotathappinessatall,Ihadtoletsomeonepastmywalls.Sighing,I

toldthetruth.

“Imisshim.It’slikeIgrewupwithabuilt-

inbestfriend,andnowhe’sgone.Ihaveoth-

erpeopleI’mcloseto,likemylady-in-wait-

ing,Neena.Idon’tthinkIrealizedhowmuch

182/467

IwasrelyingonheruntilAhrenwasgone

andIcouldseeit.Butitmakesmeafraid.

WhatifIgettothepointIdidwithAhren,

whereshe’sthepersonIgotowith

everything,andthensomethinghappensand

sheleaves?”

Halenoddedashelistened,andIcould

seehewastryingtosuppressasmile.

“Thisisn’tfunny!”Icomplained,chucking

oneofhislostpawnsathim.

Helaughedoutloud,dodgingthethrow.

“No,I’mnotsmilingbecauseofthat.It’sjust

…thelasttimewetalkedlikethisyouran.

You’renotwearingsneakersunderthat

gown,areyou?”

“Notatall.Theywouldn’tgotogether,”I

teased.“No,really,Ishouldhavetrustedyouthen,andIdotrustyounow.SorryifI’m

slow.Openinguptopeopleisnotaskillof

mine.”

“Norush.I’maprettypatientperson.”

183/467

Icouldn’ttaketheeyecontactanymore,so

Ifocusedontheboard,watchinghishands

hoverabovethegrid.

“AsforhowyoufeelaboutNeena,”Hale

wenton,“evenifshedidhavetoleave,that

wouldn’tmakeherlessofafriendanymore

thanitmakesAhrenlessofyourbrother.

Youmighthavetoworkhardertokeepin

touch,butifyoulovethemasmuchasyou

say,it’llbeworthit.”

“Iknowthat’strue,”Iadmitted.“It’s

alreadyprettydifficultformetomake

friends,seeingasIdon’tgetoutmuch.SoI

kindofneedtokeeptheonesIhave.”

Halechuckled,andImissedwhathedid

ontheboard.“Well,Ijustwanttogoonre-

cordandsaythatevenifyoudon’tchoose

me,youhavemyfriendshipforlife,andI’ll

beonaplanetoAngelesinaheartbeatifyoueverneedme.”

Ismiled.“Somethingeveryday.”

Henodded.“Everyday.”

184/467

“Ireallyneededtohearthat.Thankyou.”I

satuptallerandbegantoplanmynext

move.“Whataboutyou?Who’syourbest

friend?”

“Actually,Iwasinterrogatedoverthisa

fewweeksago,justafterBurkeleft.Mybest

friendisagirl,andtheythoughtIwaswrit-

ingto‘mygirlfriendbackhome.’Letmetell

you,itwashumiliatingtoaskhertogeton

thephonewithaguardandexplainthatwe’d

never,everbeenromanticallyinvolved.”

Ibitmylip,gladhecouldseethehumorin

it.“I’mreallysorry.”

“It’sfine.Carriegotakickoutofit,

actually.”

“Well,I’mhappyshetookitinstride.”I

clearedmythroat.“ButnowIhavetoask,

haveyoureallyneverhadacrushonher?”

“No!”Healmostshuddered.“Carrie’slike

asistertome.Thethoughtofkissingherjustfeelswrong.”

185/467

Iputmyhandsupinfrontofme,startled

byhowoffendedhewas.“Okay.Idon’thave

toworryaboutCarrie.Gotit.”

“Sorry.”Thedisgustinhisfaceshiftedtoa

shysmile.“It’sjustthatI’vebeenaskedthatamilliontimes.Otherfriends,ourparents…

it’slikeeveryonehasalwayswantedustobe

together,andIdon’tfeelanythinglikethat

forher.”

“Igetthat.Sometimesitseemslikeevery-

onewantsmetopickKilejustbecausewe

grewuptogether.Likethataloneisenough

toguaranteeyou’llfallinlove.”

“Well,thedifferencethereisthatyouactu-

allyhavefeelingsforKile.Anyonewatching

couldtell.”Hefiddledwithadiscarded

pawn.

Ilookedatmylap.“Ishouldn’thave

broughtthatup.I’msorry.”

“No,it’sokay.Ithinktheonlywaytostay

sanethroughallthisistorememberthat

you’retheoneleadingthis,andyou’rethe

186/467

onewhodecideswherewestand.Theonly

thinganyofuscandoisbeourselves.”

“Wheredoyouthinkyoustandexactly?”

Hegavemeasmallsmile.“Idon’tknow.

Somewhereinthemiddle?”

Ishookmyhead.“You’redoingbetterthan

that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Hissmilefadedalittle.“That’skindof

amazing,butalsoscary.There’salotofre-

sponsibilitythatcomeswithwinningthis.”

Inodded.“Tons.”

“IguessIneverreallystoppedtothink

aboutthat.Butwithyoureallybeingin

charge

these

days,

it’s

a

little

…

overwhelming.”

Istaredathim,feelingcertainIhadtobe

misunderstandingsomething.“You’renot

tryingtobackout,areyou?”

“No,”hesaid,continuingtorollthepawn

inhishand.“I’mjustcomingface-to-face

187/467

withhowbigthisis.I’msureyourmomhad

momentslikethis,too.”

Hewasuncharacteristicallysharp,and

thisseemedtorundeeperthanhisfrustra-

tionaboutCarrie.AsIcontinued,tryingto

keepmytoneeven,heavoidedmyeyes.

“DidImisssomething?You’vealways

beensoenthusiastic,tothepointthatI’ve

wonderedaboutyoursanity.What’swiththe

suddencoldfeet?”

“Ididn’tsayIwashavingcoldfeet,”he

countered.“Iwassimplyvoicingaconcern.

You’reconstantlyvoicingyourconcerns.

Howisthisanydifferent?”

Therewasplentyoftruthtothat,butIhad

clearlyhitanerve.AndafterhowhardI’d

workedtobeopenwithHale,Ididn’tunder-

standwhyhewouldclamuponme.WhileI

didn’tthinkhewasthetypetotestme

simplyforthesakeofit,Iwonderedifmaybehewastryingtogaugemypatience.

188/467

Iclenchedandunclenchedmyhandsun-

derneaththetable,remindingmyselfthatI

trustedHale.

“Perhapsit’sbetterifwechangethesub-

ject,”Isuggested.

“Agreed.”

Buttheonlythingthatfollowedwas

silence.

THEPARLORWASPREPAREDFORourcoming

guests.Tworowsofchairsweresetupstadi-

umstyle,remindingmeofhowtheSelected

usedtositfortheReport.Wehadfoodanddrinksaroundtheroom,asecuritycheck-pointbythedoor,andcamerascirculating.

Behindtheproductionstaff,theElitesat

againstthewall,andtheyallseemedtobe

excitedtofindapartofmyjobtheycould

observe.IwashappytoseethatKileand

190/467

Erik(thoughsurelyhisactionsweremorefor

Henri’sbenefit)hadbothbroughtnotepads.

They’dcometowork.

“Youlooklovely,”Maridassuredme,

probablynotingthatIwaspullingatmy

collar.

“Iwastryingtolookbusinesslikewithout

makingthingstooformal.”

“Andyousucceeded.Youjustneedtocalm

down.They’renotheretoattackyou;they’re

heretotalktoyou.Theonlythingyouhave

todoislisten.”

Inodded.“Listen.Icandothat.”Itooka

deepbreath.We’dneverdoneanythinglike

thisbefore,andIwasequalpartsgiddyand

horrified.“Howdidyoufindthesepeople?

Friendsofyours?”

“Notexactly.Afewhavecalledintoradio

showsI’vedonebefore,andothersweresug-

gestedbyacquaintances.It’sagoodmixof

socialandeconomicstatuses,whichshould

createsomewell-roundeddiscussion.”

191/467

Itookthisin.That’sallthiswas:adiscus-

sion.Iwouldseethefacesofpeoplewhoac-

tuallylivedinourcountry,heartheirvoices.

Itwasn’tamassivecrowd;itwasahandful.

“We’regoingtomakeitthroughthis,all

right?”hesaidreassuringly.

“Allright.”AndIremindedmyselfthat

thiswasagoodthingasourguestsbegan

tricklingintotheroom.

Iwalkedovertoshakehandswithawo-

manwholookedlikeshe’dtakenmoretime

onherhairthanIhadandherhusbandwho,

whilehandsome,couldhaveknocked

someoneoutwiththeamountofcologne

he’dputon.

“YourHighness,”thewomangreeted,

droppingintoacurtsy.“MynameisSharron

Spinner,andthisismyhusband,Don.”He

bowed.“We’resopleasedtobehere.It’sso

nicethepalaceistakingtimetohearfromitspeople.”

192/467

Inodded.“It’slongoverdue.Please,help

yourselftosomerefreshmentsandmake

yourselfcomfortable.Theproducersmight

stoptointerviewyouaspeoplesettlein,butyou’reundernoobligationtospeaktothem

ifyoudon’twantto.”

Sharrontouchedthecornersofherlips,

makingsurehermakeupwasaspristineas

possible.“No,wedon’tmindatall.Comeon,

honey.”

Icouldbarelycontainmyeyeroll.The

Spinnersseemedalittletooeagertobeon

camera.

BehindtheSpinnersweretheBarnsesand

thePalters.Therewasagirlonherown,BreeMarksman,andtwoyoungermen,Joeland

Blake,whohadmetinthefoyerandwere

alreadytalkinglikefriends.Finallyayoungercouplewhointroducedthemselvesasthe

Shellswalkedin.Theylookedliketheyhad

donetheirbesttoscrapetogethersomenice

193/467

clothesfortheoccasionandhadcomeup

short.

“BrentonandAlly,yousaid?”Iwaveda

hand,invitingthemtowalkbesideme.

“Yes,YourHighness.Thankyousomuch

forhavingus.”Brentonsmiled,looking

gratefulandbashfulatonce.“Doesthis

meanthatwe’regoingtobeabletomove

now?”

Istopped,turningtofacethem.Allyswal-

lowed,clearlytryingnottogetherhopesup.

“Move?”

“Yeah.DowninZuniwe’vebeentryingto

moveoutofourneighborhoodforawhile.”

“It’snotverysafe,”Allyaddedquietly.

“We’vebeenthinkingaboutstartingafam-

ily.Buttheykeepchangingthepricesofthe

apartments.”

“Wehadfriendswhomoved,andthey

didn’thaveanyproblems,”Allyinsisted.

194/467

“Butwhenwetriedtogetintothesame

area,therentwasdoublewhatitwasforNic

andEllen.”

“Theownerssaidourfriendsmusthave

misquotedtherate,but…well,Idon’twant

toaccuseanyoneofanything,butNicwas

bornaThree,andwebothwouldbeFives.

“Wejustwanttolivesomewheresafer,”

Brentonaddedwithashrug.“Evenifyou

can’tfixit,wethoughtmeetingwiththe

princessmighthelpthings.”

“YourHighness,”theproducersaid.“I’m

sorrytointerrupt,butwe’restarting.”She

showedtheShellstotheirseats,andIsat

acrossfromeveryone,unsureofhowto

begin.

Ilaughed,tryingtobreakthetension.

“Sincewe’veneverdonethisbefore,wedon’t

reallyhaveanoutlinetofollow.Doesanyone

haveanyquestions?”

Oneoftheyoungmen—Blake,Ire-

membered—raisedhishand,andIwatched

195/467

ascameraschangedanglestofocusonhis

face.

“Yes,Blake?”

“Whenwillthekingbeback?”

And,justlikethat,Ibecameinsignificant.

“I’mnotsure.Itdependsonwhenmymoth-

erisfullyrecovered.”

“Buthewillbeback,right?”

Iforcedmyselftosmile.“If,forsomereas-

on,hedidn’treturn,thestatewouldcontinueasusual.Ihavealwaysbeennextinlineto

rule,andIhavethesameidealsasmyfather.

Hewantedsobadlytoseethecastesbrought

toanend,andnowthatthey’regone,Iwould

seektofurthererasethelinesthey’veleftintheirwake.”

IpeekedoveratMarid,whogavemea

quickthumbs-up.

“Butthat’sthething,”AndrewBarns

began.“Thepalacehasdonenothingtohelp

thoseofuswhoseparentswereFivesand

Sixesorlower.”

196/467

“Ithinkwe’vebeenatalossastowhat

wouldbemosteffective.That’spartofwhy

you’reheretoday.Wewanttohearfrom

you.”Icrossedmyhandsonmylap,hopingI

lookedputtogether.

“Domonarchseverreallyheartheir

people?”Breeasked.“Haveyouconsidered

handingthegovernmentovertothepublic?

Don’tyouthinkthere’sachancewemightdo

abetterjobthanyou?”

“Well—”

Sharroncutmeoff,turningtoBree.

“Sweetie,youcanbarelydressyourself.How

doyouthinkyoucouldpossiblyruna

country?”

“Givemeavote!”Breedemanded.“That

alonewouldchangeplenty.”

Mr.

Palter—Jamal—leaned

forward.

“You’retooyoung,”hesaid,alsogangingup

onBree.“Iwanttoseechangemyself.I’ve

livedthroughthecastes.IwasaThree,andIlostalotsincethen.Youkidsdon’tknow

197/467

enoughaboutwherewe’vebeentoevencon-

tributetotheconversation.”

Theothersingleboystoodup,enraged.

“JustbecauseI’myoungdoesn’tmeanI

don’tpayattentionorthatIdon’tknow

peoplewho’vestruggled.Iwantthiscountry

tobebetterforeveryone,notjustme.”

Wewerelessthanfiveminutesin,andthe

entireconversationhadturnedintoabark-

ingcontest.Itdidn’tevenseemtomatter

thatIwasthere.Plentyofpeoplementioned

me,ofcourse,butnooneactuallyspoketo

me.

Isupposedtryingtogetaglimpseata

widerangeoflifestylesmeantweweregoing

tohaveconflict,butIwishedMaridhadvet-

tedthesepeoplebetter.Thenagain,maybe

hehad,andwestillendedupwithpeople

whodidn’tcareifIwaspresentornot.I’d

spentsomuchtimeworryingthatthey’dhate

methatIhadn’tpausedtoconsiderthe

198/467

possibilitythatIwassimplyirrelevantin

theireyes.

“Ifwecouldmayberaiseourhands,”Isug-

gested,tryingtoregaincontrol.“Ican’thearyourthoughtsifyou’reallspeakingatonce.”

“Idemandavote!”Breeyelled,andthe

othersfellsilent.Sheglaredatme.“You

peoplehavenoideawhatourlivesareactu-

allylike.Lookatthisroom.”Shegesturedtothe

expertly

coordinated

paint

and

tapestries,theporcelaindishesandsparklingglasses.“Howcanwetrustyourjudgment

whenyouarethisdisconnectedfromyour

people?Youruleoverourliveswithnoun-

derstandingofwhatitmeanstolivetheway

wedo.”

“Shehasapoint,”saidSuzettePalter.

“You’veneverspentadayinthedirtoron

therun.It’seasytomakedecisionsabout

otherpeople’sliveswhenyoudon’thaveto

livethem.”

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Isatthere,staringatthesestrangers.Iwasresponsibleforthem.ButhowcouldIbe?

Howcouldonepersonmakesureeachand

everysoulhadeverychancetheycould,

everythingtheyneeded?Itwasn’tpossible.

Andyet,steppingdowndidn’tseemlikethe

solutioneither.

“I’msorry,Ihavetostopthis,”Maridsaid,

comingoutoftheshadows.“Theprincessis

toogracioustoremindyouofexactlywho

sheis,butasherverydearfriend,Icannot

allowyoutospeaktoherthisway.”

Heremindedmeofsomeofmytutors,the

waytheystoodovermeandmademefeel

embarrassedevenwhenIwasn’tsurethere

wasareasonIshouldbe.

“PrincessEadlynmaynotbeyoursover-

eigntoday,butsheisdestinedforthethrone.

Shehasearneditthroughalonglineoftra-

ditionandsacrifice.Youforgetthatwhile

youhavechoiceoveryourprofession,loca-

tion,yourveryfuture,hershasbeen

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assignedtoheratbirth.Andshehaswill-

inglyacceptedtheweightofitforyoursake.

“Shoutingatheroverheryouthisunfair,

asweallknowherfatherhadlittlemoreex-

periencewhenheascended.PrincessEadlyn

hasstudiedtirelesslyathissideforyearsandhasalreadysaidsheplanstocarryouthis

ambitions.Tellherhowtodothat.”

Breecockedherhead.“Ialreadydid.”

“Ifyou’resuggestingwesuddenlybecome

ademocracy,thatwouldcausemorehavoc

inyourlifethanyoucanimagine,”Marid

insisted.

“Butifyouwantavote,”Ibegan,“perhaps

wecantalkabouthowtoimplementthatloc-

ally.It’smuchmorepossiblefortheleaders

closesttoyou,theoneswhoactuallyseeyourareadaytoday,toprovidewhat’sneeded

mostforyou.”

Breedidn’tsmile,butshedidrelaxher

tightshoulders.“Thatwouldbeastart.”

201/467

“Okaythen.”IsawNeenaferociouslytak-

ing

notes.

“Brenton,

you

mentioned

somethingabouthousingwhenyoucamein.

Canyoutellmemoreaboutthat?”

Afterfifteenminutesthegroupcameto

thedecisionthathousingshouldneverbe

deniedtoanyonebasedontheirprofession

orformercaste,andthatallpricesshouldbemadepublicsotheycouldn’tbemarkedup

torestrictcertainpeoplefromapplying.

“Idon’twanttosoundsnobby,”Sharron

said,“butsomeofusliveinareaswherewe

wouldprefer…certainpeoplenottocome.”

“Youfailed,”oneoftheboyssaid.“That

soundscompletelysnobby.”

Isighed,thinking.“Firstofall,Iassume

thatifyouliveinawealthyneighborhood,itwouldtakeaconsiderableamountofmoney

tomovethereinthefirstplace.Andsecond

ofall,you’reassumingthatpeoplewithlittlemeanswouldmakeforhorribleneighbors.

202/467

“Whatyousaidaboutme,Suzette,was

right.”Sheperkedupatthesoundofher

nameandsmiledoverbeingcorrectwithout

knowingwhatitwasyet.“I’veneverlived

outsidethepalace.ButthankstotheSelec-

tion,youngmenfrommanydifferentback-

groundshavecomeintomylife,andthey’ve

taughtmesomuch.Someofthemwere

workingthroughschoolorsupportingtheir

familiesortryingjusttomasterEnglishso

theycanhavemoreopportunities.They

mighthavegonethroughtheirliveswith

muchlessthanIhave,butthey’veenriched

mylifeinwaysIcan’tbegintoexpress.Sharron?”Iasked.“Isn’tthatworthsomething?”

Shedidn’tanswer.

“Attheendoftheday,Ican’tforceanyof

youtotreatpeoplethewayyoushould.Butitshouldbeonyourconsciencethatwhatever

lawsIpasswon’tdomuchunlesseachofyou

takesituponyourselftoshowkindnessto

yourfellowcitizens.”

203/467

IsawMaridsmileandknewthatwhileI

maynothavegottenitperfect,I’dtakenabigstep.Itfeltlikeavictory.

Whenthetownhallmeetingwasover,I

feltreadytocollapsefromthetension.

Nearlytwohoursoftalkingfeltlikeaweek’sworthofwork.ThankgoodnesstheElite

seemedtounderstandhowdrainedIwas

andleftwithlittlemorethanpolitebows.

There’dbeplentyoftimetodiscussthiswiththemlater.FornowIjustwantedtoflop

ontoacouch.

IgroanedatMarid.“Igetthefeeling

they’llwantustodothisagain,butIrefuseuntilIhavefullyrecoveredfromtoday.

Whichmaytakeyears.”

Helaughed.“Youdidgreat.They’rethe

oneswhomadeitdifficult.Butsincethiswasafirst,nooneknewhowtobehave.Ifyoudo

thisagain,itwillbemuchbetteronall

sides.”

204/467

“Ihopeso.”Irubbedmyhandstogether.“I

keepthinkingaboutBree,howpassionate

shewas.”

“Passionate.”Herolledhiseyes.“That’s

onewordforit.”

“I’mserious.Thismatteredsomuchto

her,”Ilamented,thinkingofhowshelooked

closetotearsafewtimes.“I’vestudiedpoliticalsciencemywholelife.Iknowaboutre-

publicsandconstitutionalmonarchiesand

democracies.Iwonderifmaybeshe’sright.

Maybeweshould—”

“Letmestopyourightthere.Haveyou

alreadyforgottenhowderangedshelooked

whenshesawshewasn’tgoingtogether

way?Doyoureallywantthecountry’s

choicesmadebysomeonelikeher?”

“She’sonevoiceoutofmillions.”

“Exactly.AndIhavestudiedpoliticsjust

aslongasyouandthroughamuchmorevar-

iedlens.Trustme,itisfarbettertokeepthecontrolrighthere.”Heheldmyhandsinhis,

205/467

smilingsosurelythatIdismissedmy

thoughts.“Andyouareverycapable.Don’t

letatinygroupofpeoplewithnoideaofhowtoreasonablyvoicetheiropinionsundermineyourconfidence.”

Inodded.“Iwasabitshaken,that’sall.”

“Ofcourseyouwere.Thatwasatough

crowd.Butyoucouldwashitallawaywitha

bottleofwine.Iknowyouhaveexcellent

storeshere.”

“Wedo,”Irepliedwithagrin.

“Comeon,then.Let’scelebrate.Youjust

didawonderfulthingforyourpeople.You’ve

morethanearnedaglass.”

“WELL,ITWASN’TGREAT,”Iadmitted,“butit

couldhavebeenmuchworse.”

“Tellyourdaughtertogiveherselfmore

credit,”Maridinsisted.

MomandDadsmiled,andIwasgladwe’d

runintotheminthehallway.Dad’svoice,

abovealltheothers,wouldhelpmesortout

exactlywhatI’djustsaidanddone.

“Wetry,Marid,Iassureyou.”Dadtooka

sipofhiswinebeforesettingitdown,

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pushingitfaraway,andpouringhimselfa

cupoftea,justlikeMom.

Thedoctorsaidanoccasionaldrinkwas

fine,butsheclearlywasn’tinterestedinriskingit,andIwasn’tsurprisedDadwouldfol-

lowherlead.

“How’syourmother?”Momasked.Theset

ofherlipsmademefeellikeshe’dbeendyingtoaskthequestion.

Maridgrinned.“Sheneverslowsdown.

She’ssad,ofcourse,thatshecan’tdobiggerthings,butsheworksdiligentlytotakecare

ofthosenearusinColumbia.Evenasmall

bitofgoodisbetterthannone.”

“Agreed,”Momreplied.“Wouldyouplease

tellherIthinkofheroften?”

SheflickedhereyestowardDad,whore-

mainedunreadable,butMaridseemed

pleased.“Iwill.AndIcanassureyou,she

feelsthesame.”

208/467

Theconversationpaused,andeveryonefo-

cusedontheirdrinksforamoment.Finally,

Dadsavedusfromthesilence.

“Soitsoundslikethatonecouplewasbor-

derlinevicious.Thewife,whatwasher

name?”

“Sharron,”MaridandIchorusedback.

Dadshookhishead.“Shecameinwithan

agenda.”

“Theyalldid,”Isaid.“Butwasn’tthatthe

point?Everyoneprobablyhasaspecificidea

ofhowtoimprovetheirday-to-daylife.The

hardpartwasn’tthattheyhadthose

thoughts—itwashowtheyweretryingtoget

themacross.”

Momnodded.“Therehastobeawaytodo

somethinglikethiswithoutallthearguing.Itslowseverythingdown.”

“Insomeways,butinothersitaddstothe

discussion,”Maridclaimed.“Oncetheywere

remindedofwhotheywerespeakingwith,

theconversationbecamemuchclearer.”

209/467

“Idefinitelythinktherewasmorepositive

thannegativetoday,”Iadded.

Dadwaslookingdownatthetable.

“Dad?Don’tyouthinkso?”

Helookedupatme,smiling.“Yes,dear.I

do.”Hesighed,straighteninghisposture.

“AndIoweyouthanks,Marid.Amovelike

thisiscertainlyprogress,notjustforthe

palace,butforthecountry—anditwasavery

goodidea.”

“Iwillpassalongyourthankstomyfather.

Heputtheideainmyheadyearsago.”

Dadgrimaced.“ThenIalsooweyouan

apology.”Hetappedhisfingeronthetable,

collectinghisthoughts.“Pleasetellyourparentstheyneedn’tstayaway.Justbecausewe

disagreedonmethodsdoesn’tmean—”

Maridraisedhishand.“Saynomore,Your

Majesty.Myfatherhassaidonmorethan

oneoccasionthathesteppedovertheline.I

willurgehimtocall.Soon.”

Dadsmiled.“I’dlikethat.”

210/467

“Me,too,”Momadded.

“Andyouarewelcometovisitasoftenas

youlike,”Iadded.“Especiallyifyouhaveanymorethoughtsonhowtoreachourpeople.”

Marid’sfacewastriumphant.“Oh,Ihave

plenty.”

ThefollowingmorningIwasalmostfirstto

theoffice,beatingeveryoneexceptforGen-

eralLeger,whowasrootingaroundrather

forcefullyinmyfather’sdeskdrawers.

“General?”Iasked,announcingmyself.

Hebowedcurtlyandwentbacktohis

search.“Sorry.Yourfatherhasbrokenhis

glasses,andhesaidtherewasanotherpairinhisdesk.I’mhavingnoluckatall.”

Hisvoicewasgruff,andheshovedthe

drawerclosedbeforeturningaroundtoscan

theshelfbehindhim.

“GeneralLeger?”

“Hesaidtheywouldbehere.Aretheyright

infrontofmeandI’mmissingthem?”

“Sir?”

211/467

“Onething,that’sallIhadtodo.Ican’t

evenfindapairofglasses.”

“General?”

“Yes?”herepliedwithoutlookingatme.

“Areyouallright?”

“Ofcourse.”Hesearchedandsearched,

notpausinguntilIlaidagentlehandonhis

shoulder.

“Youwouldn’tlietomyfather.Please

don’tlietome.”

Hefinallylookedupfromhistask,bewil-

dermentinhiseyes.“Whendidyougetso

tall?”heasked.“Andsoeloquent?Ifeellikeitwasjustyesterdaythatyourmotherwas

rushingintotheroomtogetustocome

watchyourfirststeps.”Hesmiledalittle.“Idon’tknowifyouknow,butAhrennearly

beatyoutothepunch.Butevenbackthen,

youweren’tgoingtoletanyoneshowyou

up.”

“Youstillhaven’tansweredmyquestion.

Areyouokay?”

212/467

Henodded.“Iwillbe.I’veneverbeengood

atacceptingdefeat,evenwhenitwasthe

bestthing.Lucy’sactuallytakingthisbetterthanIam,thoughnotbymuch.”Hesquinted.“IassumeyouknowwhatI’mtalking

about.”

Isighed.“Ido.Butonlybarely.I’membar-

rassedtoadmitI’vebeensofocusedonmy-

selfIdidn’trealizehowmuchyou’d

struggled.IwishI’dbeenmoresensitive

aboutallthis.”

“Don’tblameyourself.Wedon’tliveinthe

palace,andnothavingafamilyisn’t

somethingwewillinglychatabout.Besides,

there’snothinganyonecandoaboutit.”

“Nothing?”

“LikeIsaid,we’reacceptingdefeat.Inthe

beginningwethoughtwehadsomuchtime,

andwhenwetriedtogethelp,itjustkept

fallingthrough.Lucycan’ttakeitanymore.”

Hepaused,swallowingbeforehegavemea

weaksmile.“IhopeI’vedonerightbyyou.

213/467

Asanofficial,asafriend.You’retheclosestI’lleverhavetoadaughter,sothatmatters

tome.”

Ifoundmyselfneartears,thinkingofhow

I’dcalledhimabackupparentnotthatlong

ago.“Youhave.Ofcourseyouhave.Andnot

justbymebutbyeveryotherchildinthis

palaceyouhelpedraise.”

Hesquinted.

“Mr.Woodworkhadabrokenlegwhen

Kilewasreadytolearntorideabike.Ire-

memberyourunningbehindhimonthe

gravelinfrontofthepalaceuntilhefinallyfiguredouthowtobalance.”

GeneralLegernodded,theghostofagrin

onhisface.“That’strue.Ididthat.”

“AndMomandDadwereinNewAsia

whenKadenlosthisfirsttooth,right?Miss

Lucywastheonewhohelpedhimgetitout.

AndshetaughtJosiehowtoputoneyeliner.

Don’tyourememberhowshebraggedabout

itforweeks?”

214/467

“WhatIrememberisMarleetellingherto

wipeitoff,”hesaid,hisspiritsrising.

“AndyoutaughtAhrenandKadenhowto

handleasaber.Kadenrecentlysuggesteda

duel,andthefirstthingIthoughtofwashowhewouldhavewonhandsdownthanksto

you.”

GeneralLegerwatchedme.“Itreasure

thosememories.Ido.I’ddefendallofyoutomylastbreath.EvenifIwasn’tessentially

paidto.”

Igiggled.“Iknow.Whichiswhythere’sno

oneelseI’dtrustwithmylife.”Ireachedoutforhishand.“Pleasetakethedayoff.No

one’sgoingtoinvadetoday,andiftheydo,

I’llcallyou,”IaddedquicklywhenIcould

seehewasgoingtoprotest.“Gospendtime

withMissLucy.Remindherofeverygood

thingyou’vebeentoeachother,andremind

herofeverythingyou’vebeentous.Iknow

it’snotareasonablesubstitute,butdoitallthesame.”

215/467

“Ihaven’tfoundtheglassesyet.”

“I’msurehe’sleftthemintheparlor.I’ll

takecareofit.Yougo.”

Hegrippedmyhandonelasttimebefore

lettingitgoanddroppingintoabow.“Yes,

YourHighness.”

Iwatchedhimleave,leaningagainstthe

deskasIconsideredthegeneralandMiss

Lucyandtheirlifetogether.They’dfacedso

muchsadness,somuchdisappointment,and

yethestillshowedupeveryday,readyto

serve.SodidMissLucy.Itwasastrange

thingtomeasurethembesidemyparents,

whoseliveshadseemedtofallintoplace

perfectly.

Iwassurroundedbyexamplesofhowlove,

reallove,couldmakeyoulessbotheredby

yourcircumstances,whetheritwasfacing

thegreatestdisappointmentofyourlifeor

shoulderingtheweightofacountry.And

suddenly,forthelifeofme,Icouldn’tre-

memberwhyI’dbeensoafraidofit.

216/467

Imentallythumbedthroughmylistof

suitors.Kile’ssweetness,Fox’senthusiasm,

Henri’sjoy…thesewereallthingsthatdrew

mein.But,beyondthat,wasthere

somethingbeautifulandlasting?

Istilldidn’tknow.Butfindingoutno

longerlookedsofrightening.

Ishookthethoughtawayforthemoment

andheadedintotheparlor.Sureenough,

Dad’sglassesweresitting,unfoldedandup-

sidedown,onapileofbooks.Icarriedthem

towardhisroom,stillwonderingaboutthe

future.Inanefforttokeepfromwaking

Mom,incaseshewassleeping,Iknockedon

thedoortohispersonalstudy.

“Yes?”hecalled.

IwalkedintofindDadathisdesk,squint-

ingatsomepapers.

“Ifoundthese,”Isaid,holdinguphis

glassesandwigglingthembetweenmy

fingers.

217/467

“Ah!You’realifesaver.Where’sAspen?”

heasked,happilytakingtheglassesandpop-

pingthemonhisface.

“Itoldhimtotakethedayoff.Heseemed

alittledown.”

Dad’sheadsnappedup.“Washe?Ididn’t

notice.”

“Yes.He,andIthinkmaybeMissLucy,are

havingabadday.”

Atthementionofhername,heseemedto

understand.

“Well,nowIfeelawfulfornotsaying

something.”Heleanedbackinhischairand

rubbedathistemple.

“Haveyoubeensleepingmuch?”Iasked,

fiddlingwithapaperweight.

Hesmiled.“I’mtrying,honey,really.Butif

yourmommakessomuchasapeep,I’min-

stantlyawake,andIendupwatchingherfor

anhourbeforeI’mcalmenoughtosleep

again.Thatheartattacksneakeduponus.If

218/467

anything,I’dhaveexpectedforsomethingto

happentome.”

Inodded.SomanytimesrecentlyI’d

foundmyselfwatchinghim,wonderingifhe

wasokay.ButMom?Sheblindsidedusall.

“Yourmomkeepstalkingaboutgoingon

theReporttomorrowlikeit’ssomesignofthingsgettingbacktonormal.Asif,sinceshecandothat,Ishouldgobacktowork.AndI

knowthesecondIgobacktowork,shewill,

too.I’mnotsayingIwanthertositaround

andtwiddleherthumbs,butthethoughtof

hergoingbacktobeingthequeen,allday,

everyday…Idon’tknowhowtotakeit.”

Herubbedhiseyesandgavemeahumor-

lesssmile.“Andthetruthis,it’sbeennicetopause,takeabreath.Idon’tthinkIrealizedhowhardI’dbeenrunninguntilIhadto

stop.”Helookedupatme.“Ican’tremember

thelasttimeIhadtenundisturbedhours

withmywife.She’sgottheseprettylittle

laughlinesbyhereyes.”

219/467

Ismiled.“Well,youtellalotofhorrible

jokes,Dad.”

Henodded.“WhatcanIsay?I’mamanof

manytalents.Butthat’salmostashardto

take:whenshegoesbacktobeingqueen,I

needtogobacktobeingking.AndIdon’t

knowwhenI’llgetanotherweeklikethis,

whereit’sjustherandme.”

“So,whatifshedidn’t?”

Hesquinted.“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Well…”Ithadbeencirculatinginmy

headsincethetownhallmeetingyesterday.

I’dprobablyneverbeabletohelpallmy

people,butIcouldreachafew.Thatthought

thrilledmemorethanIimaginedpossible.

And,attheveryleast,Icouldhelpmypar-

ents,whichrecentlystartedfeelinglikea

monumentalaccomplishment.Still,asthe

wordscameout,Iknewtheywerepurein-

sanity.“Whatifshewasn’tqueenanymore?

WhatifIwas?”

Dadstilled,staringatmeindisbelief.

220/467

“Idon’tmeanitasaninsult,”I

stammered.“Iknowyou’refullyabletolead

…butyou’reright.Mom’sgoingtowantto

gobacktothecompleteroleofbeinga

queen.IfIwasqueen,she’dhavetodo

somethingelse.”

Hiseyeswidenedasifhehadn’tcon-

sideredthisoption.

“Andifshewasn’tqueenandyouweren’t

king,andthistimeithappenedtobewhile

shewasn’trecoveringfromaheartattack,

maybeyoucoulddomorethansitaround.

Maybeyoucouldtravelorsomething.”

Heblinked,astonishedatthepossibility.

“Wecoulddoitthisweekeven.Icanhave

acoronationdressmade,LadyBriceand

Neenacanorganizeeverything,andyou

knowGeneralLegerwouldmakesuretheen-

tireeventwassafe.Youwouldn’thaveto

worryaboutathing.”

Heswallowed,lookingaway.“Please,Dad,

Idon’tmeanitasaninsult.I—”

221/467

Heheldupahand,andIsilencedmyself,

stunnedtoseetearsinhiseyeswhenhe

turnedbacktome.“I’mnotinsulted,”he

answeredgrufflybeforeclearinghisthroat.

“I’mjustsoproudofyou.”

Ismiled.“So…you’llletmeascend?”

“You’llhaveadifficulttime,”hesaidseri-

ously.“Thepeoplearerestless.”

“Iknow.I’mnotscared.Well,notthat

scared.”

Wesharedalaugh.“You’llbewonderful.”

Ishrugged.“I’mnoyou.AndI’mdefinitely

noMom.ButIcandothis.Ihavehelp,and

I’llstillhavethebothofyou.Andbetweenallofus,I’llprobablycomeoutlookinglikea

decentqueen.”

Heshookhishead.“Youaremorethande-

cent,Eadlyn.MaybeIhaven’ttoldyou

enough,butyou’reanextraordinaryyoung

woman.Brightandfunnyandcapable.What

aprivilegeitwillbetobeyoursubject.”His

222/467

wordsweresogenuinethatIfoundmyself

blinkingbacktears.

Ididn’trealizehowmuchhisopinionof

myactionsmattereduntilthatmoment.I

shouldhave,though,consideringhowmany

stepsI’dtakenathissuggestion.ItmeanttheworldthatheapprovedofonesIwastaking

onmyown.

Hetookadeepbreath.“Okay,then.”

Standing,hewalkedaroundthetableand

slidhissignetringoffhisringfingerand

ontothemiddlefingerofmyhand.Hiseyes,

theclearestI’dseenthemindays,stared

deeplyintomine.“Thatlooksratherniceon

you.”

Itiltedmyhead.“Nearlyeverythingdoes.”

WHENMOMWALKEDINTOTHEstudioonFriday

evening,theentireroombrokeoutinap-

plause.Sheliftedherhandinawave,ac-

knowledgingthesupportasDadwalkedso

closebesideheryoucouldn’tseeaspeckof

lightbetweenthem.Shehadatinylimpfrom

wherethedoctorshadremovedthevein

fromherleg,butshewassograceful,you

reallyhadtolooktoseeit.She’dchosena

dresswithahighneckline,andIcouldtellby

224/467

thewayshekepttouchingitthatshewas

anxiousaboutherscar.

“Youlookwonderful,”Isaid,steppingin

stridewithherandDad,tryingtodistract

her.

“Thankyou.Sodoyou.”

“Howareyoufeeling,Dad?”Ileaned

aroundher,tryingtogaugehisemotions.

Hetiltedhisheadfromsidetoside.“Part

relieved,partnervous.Notaboutyou—you’ll

dofine.I’mjustconcernedaboutthe

reaction.”

Inotedthathelookedabitmorerested,

andIcouldtellthatseeingMomalldressed

upliftedhisspirits.

“Me,too.Butweknewthisdaywould

comesoonerorlater.I’dratherdoitnow

andhelpwhenit’smostuseful.”

Momletoutawistfulsigh.“Finallyoutof

thespotlightandintothebackground,”she

said.“I’vemisseditthere.”

225/467

“Peoplewillstillwatch,mydear,”Dad

said.“Justtrytokeepyourchinuptonight,

andI’llberightbesideyouifyouneedme.”

“So,sameasalways?”

Hesmiled.“Sameasalways.”

“Look,Idon’tplantokickyououtorany-

thing,butifyouinsistonbeingmushyallthetime,I’llhaveyouinacottagefasterthan

youcansayP-D-A.”

Momkissedmyhead.“Goodlucktonight.”

TheymadetheirwaytothechairswhileI

walkedacrosstotheboys.

“YourHighness.”Eansankintoabow,his

smilebrighterthanusual.

“Hello,sir.”

“Howareyoutonight?”

“Good,Ithink.It’sgoingtobeaveryexcit-

ingshow.”

Heleanedin.“I’malwaysupforalittleex-

citement,”hewhispered.

Eansmelledofaftershaveandtobacco,

andastherehadbeensincethemoment

226/467

we’dmet,somethingslightlyhypnoticfilled

theairaroundhim.

“I’vebeenverybusylately,butI’vebeen

wonderingifyouandIshouldhaveadate

soon.”

Heshrugged.“Onlyifyouwantone.AsI

said,Ihavenointentionofdemandingany-

thingfromyou.”

“Soyou’requitecomfortable?”

“Iam,”heansweredwithasmile.“Andas

always,I’mhereforyouinwhatevercapacity

youneedme.”

Hebowedandwalkedaway,sittingdown

nexttoHale,whowhisperedsomethingto

Eanasheapproached.IwatchedEanshake

hisheadinreply.Halelookedunsettled,and

Irealizedwehadn’tspokensinceourdis-

asterofadate.Iwasn’tsureifIwasreadytocrossthatbridgeyet.

Iwalkedovertomysmallgroupofsuitors

allthesame.

227/467

“It’ssogreattoseethequeenback,”Fox

said.

Ibeamed.“Itis.She’llbegivingasmall

updateabouthercondition,therewillbethe

normalnotesfromtheadvisers,thenmy

fatherwillbemakingabigannouncement.

You’reoffthehookfortonight.”

“Thankgoodness.”Kileslumpedbackin

hisseat,grinning.

Ichuckled.“Iknowthefeeling.Sojustsit

thereandlookhandsome.”

“Done,”Eanjoked,athingIhadn’t

thoughthimcapableofdoing.Halelaughed

andHenrismiled,thoughhisexpression

showedmethathedidn’tunderstandwhat

hadhappened.

Istartedwalkingaway,shakingmyhead

asIwent,whenIwascaughtbythelight

brushoffingersacrossmywrist.

“I’msorry,YourHighness,”Eriksaid.“I

waswonderingifIshouldsitwiththe

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audiencesincetherewon’tbeanyquestions

tonight.”

Hisblueeyescaughtthebrightlightsof

thestudio,brilliantandclear.

“AreyouafraidI’lldragyouintothe

middleofthesetifyoudon’thide?”

Hechuckled.“Morethanyouknow.”

“Don’tworry.You’resafe.ButHenriwill

needtounderstandmyfather’sannounce-

ment,sostayclose.”

Henodded.“Iwill.Areyouallright?You

lookalittleonedge.”

“Iam.Verymuch,”Iconfessed.

“AnythingIcandoforyou?”

Iplacedahandonhisshoulder.“Cross

yourfingers.It’sgoingtobeaninteresting

night.”

ItookmyseatnexttoMom,lookingoutat

thesmallcrowd.Josie’sclothingchoice

baffledmeonceagain.Shewascoveredinso

manysequins,onemighthavethoughtshe

wasgoingtobeoncameratonight.Maybe

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thatwasherplan,tobepreparedincaseit

everhappened.

GeneralLegerusuallystood,buttonight

hewasseatednexttoMissLucy,andshe

leanedintohim.Heturnedhisheadslightly

togiveherthegentlestkissalongherhair-

line.Neitherofthemlookedateachotheror

spoke,butIcouldtelltherewassomeword-

lesscommunicationhappening,andthey

bothseemedlostinthemoment.

Icouldhavewatchedthemforhours,butI

gotdistracted.Kadenwavedwildly,holding

twothumbsup,andIsmirked,givinghima

smallwaveinreply.

“Ifhe’sthatexcitedaboutwhat’scoming,

imaginehowexcitedAhrenwillbewhenhe

hears.”Momtuggedathernecklaceagain,

arrangingallherprotectivelayers.

“Yeah,”Iansweredlamely,thinkingthatif

hecouldn’tevencallmetotellmehowhe

was,hemightnotbeexcitedatall.

Thecamerasrolled,andtheshowbegan.

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MomopenedtheReportwithassurancesthatshewasonthemend.“I’mdoingwonderfully,thankstotheworkofourexcellent

doctorsandthecareofmyfamily,”she

promised.Iknewthatthiswastheonlynews

thatwouldmattertotheaudienceuntilour

bigannouncement.Icouldbarelypayatten-

tiontotheupdatesonfundingandinterna-

tionalrelationsmyself;Idoubtedtherestofthecountrycould.

FinallyDadwalkeduptothepodiumin

themiddleofthestage.Staringintothecam-

era,heslowlyexhaled.“Mypeople,”hestar-

ted,butquicklystoppedandturnedtoface

Momandme.Itookherhand,worriedhe

wouldchangehismind.AsscaredasIwasto

takehisplace,backingoutnowwouldfeel

likefailing.

Hegazedatthetwoofusforamoment,

hislipsslowlyformingasmile,thenlooked

backintothecamera.

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“Mybelovedpeople,Icomebeforeyouto-

nighttoaskforyourmercy.Intwentyyears

askingIhavedonemybesttoalleviatethe

warsandissuesthatthreatenedourpeace

forsolong.Wehaveformednewalliances,

gottenridofarchaicsocialpractices,and

doneallwecantogiveyou,theindividual,

thegreatestchanceatpersonalhappiness.

Now,Iprayyouwilldothesameforme.

“Withmywife’srecenthealthscare,Ifind

myselfunabletofocusonmovingourcoun-

tryforward,letalonemaintainingwhatwe

currentlyhave.Assuch,aftermuchthought

anddiscussion,ourfamilyhasdecidedthat

mydaughter,PrincessEadlynSchreave,will

ascendthethrone.”

Hepausedtoletthewordssinkin,andin

thatmomentIheardthemostunexpected

sound:applause.

Ilookedupandsawitwastheboys.They

wereclappingforme.Kilejumpedtohis

feet,thrilledatthenews,andHalejoined

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him,thrustinghisfingersintohismouthto

giveawhistle.AftertheElitewereallstanding,Irealizedthateveryoneinthestudiohadjoinedin.AndnotjustMissMarleeandGeneralLeger,butthemakeupgirlsandthefloorrunnerswhomadesuretheshowwenton

withoutahitch.

Myliptrembledalittle,completelyover-

whelmedbytheirinstantjoy.Itbolsteredmy

confidence.Maybewe’dbeenworriedfor

nothing.

Dad,encouragedbytheresponse,carried

onasthenoisedieddown.“Wearesettling

plansforthecoronationaswespeak,andit

willtakeplacebytheendofnextweek.Hav-

ingworkedsidebysidewiththeprincessfor

thewholeofherlife,Iknowourcountry

couldnotbeinbetterhands.Ialsomusttellyouthatshevolunteeredtotakeonthisrole

early,sothathermotherandImaystepback

fromleadingandenjoysimplybeingahus-

bandandwife,alifewehavenotyetbeen

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privilegedtolead.Ihopeyouwilljoinmeinrejoicingoverthiswonderfulnews.Our

wholefamilythanksyou,ourpeople,for

yourenduringsupport.”

AssoonasDadfinishedspeaking,the

clappingandwhistlingstartedalloveragain.

WepassedeachotherasIwenttothepodi-

um,andwhenheraisedhishandforahigh

five,Icouldn’tnotrespond.Istoppedin

frontofthepodium,feelingathousandbut-

terfliesinmystomach.

“Iwanttothankeveryoneinthepalacefor

theirhelpandguidancesinceIbecamere-

gent,andletallIlléaknowhowdelightedI

amtoascendthethrone.Icannotbeginto

expresswhatjoyitbringsmetobeabletodothisformyparents.”Thatwastruerthan

anythingIknew.Allthenervesintheworld

couldn’tdampenit.“AndasIstepintothe

positionofqueen,thatmeansthatoneof

thesegentlemenbackherewon’tsimplybea

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prince.Hewillimmediatelybecomeaprince

consort.”

Ilookedovermyshoulderatthem,and

whilesome,likeFoxandKile,seemedecstat-

ic,Halewasfrowning.Sotheothernight

wasn’tjustafluke.Hewashavinggenuine

doubts.Whathadhappened?HowhadIlost

him?

“Myupcomingcoronationwillbeoneof

thebiggestcelebrationsthepalacehasever

seen.PleasegotoyourProvincialServices

Officeforinformation,asonefamilyfrom

eachprovincewillbeinvitedtothepalace,

allexpensespaid,toenjoythefestivities.”

Thathadbeenmyidea,oneIfeltsureMarid

wouldappreciate.“And,ofcourse,weappre-

ciateyoursupportofourfamilythroughthis

transitionalperiod.Wethankyou,Illéa.

Goodnight!”

IwentovertoMomandDadthesecond

thecameraswentdown.“Canyoubelieve

that?”

235/467

“Itwentsowell!”Momsaid.“Theboys

clapping,startingitallthemselves.Itwassoorganic,andIknowthathadtoencourage

peopleathome.”

“It’sagoodsign,”Dadagreed.“AndIthink

theelementofyourchosenhusbandimme-

diatelybecomingaprinceconsortdefinitely

addssomethingtothisSelection.”

“Asifitwasn’tcrazyenough.”Isighedand

smiled,feelingtoohappytocarethatthis

wasallcompletemadness.

Dadkissedmyforehead.“Youwerewon-

derful.Now,doyouneedsomerest?”he

asked,turningtoMom.

“I’mfine.”Sherolledhereyesasthey

headedoffthestage.

“Areyousure?Wecouldhavedinner

broughtuptoourroom.”

“Sohelpme,ifyoudothat,Iwillthrowit

atyou.”

236/467

Ilaughed.Itwasmakingmoreandmore

sensethattheyfoughtthroughtheirwhole

Selectionprocess.

NowIjustneededtogetthroughmine.

IRANDOWNTOBREAKFASTthenextmorning,

grippingthepaperinmyhand.Ibuzzedpast

theguardsandtheElite,plunkingitdownin

frontofMomandDad.

“Look,”Iurged,pointingtotheheadline.

WhatDoTheyKnowThatWeDon’t?it

read,thephotobeneathitashotoftheboys

allstandingandcheeringontheReport.

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Dadpickedupthepaper,poppedonhis

glasses,andreadthearticlealoud,though

notprojectinghisvoicefortheroomtohear.

“‘WhenyouthinkofPrincessEadlynSch-

reave,thefirstwordsthatcometomind

mightnotbecongenial,enthusiastic,orbeloved.Shecertainlyhasclassandbeauty,andwhilenoonecouldargueherintellect,

onemighthavecausetoquestionother

traits,suchasherdevotiontoherpeople.Sowehavetoask,whatisitthattheseyoung

men—indeed,theseSonsofIlléa—know

aboutherthatwehavemissed?’”

Momlookedupatme,smiling.

“‘Whenthefiveremaininggentlemenin

theSelectioninstantlyrosetotheirfeetandapplaudedattheannouncementoftheprincess’sascent,Iwilladmit,thatwasnotthisreporter’sinitialreaction.Iwasworried.

She’syoung.She’sdistant.She’snotintouchwithherpeople.

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“‘Butiftheseboys,allbutoneofthem

strangerstoherupuntilrecently,immedi-

atelydecidetocelebrate,thentheremustbe

moretoourupcomingqueenthanapretty

face.RecentlytheElitespokeofherbeing

considerateandengaging.Arethesequalities

she’shadallalongthatmerelyhaven’tbeen

easytotranslateonscreen?Issheagenuine

leader,preparedtosacrificeforherpeople?

“‘Thenatureofherrisetothecrownwould

suggesttheanswerisyes.Thekingand

queenarestillyoung.Theyarestillphysic-

allyandmentallyabletocontinuetheir

reign.Toseetheprincesstakeoverearlyso

thattheycanenjoytheirtimetogetherasa

marriedcoupleshowsnotonlyherlovefor

herfamily,buthercommitmenttoher

work.’”

IcouldseeMom’seyeswellingwithtears

now.

“‘Onlytimewilltelliftheseassumptions

provetrue,butIcansaythatmyfaithinthe

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crown

has

been—at

least

temporar-

ily—restored.’”

“Oh,honey,”Momexclaimed.

Dadpassedthenewspaperbacktome.

“Eady,thisisgreat.”

“It’sthemostencouragingthingtohappen

publiclyforalongtime,”Iagreedwithacontentedsigh.“I’mtryingnottogetmyhopes

uptoohigh,butitmakesgoingtoworktoday

thatmucheasier.”

“Ihopeyou’replanningtotakeiteasythis

morning.”Momgavemeapointedlook.“I

don’twantyougettingburnedoutbeforeyou

evenstart.”

“I’dtellyouIhaveasimplemorning

planned,butit’dbealie,”Iadmitted.“I’m

offtoaFinnishlessonrightnow.Doyou

haveanyideahowdifficultitistocountin

Finnish?”

Dadsippedhiscoffee.“I’velistenedtoit

foryears.Iapplaudyoufortrying.”

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“Henri’sverysweet,”Momcommented.

“NotthedirectionIwasexpectingyoutogo

in,buthe’llcertainlymakeyousmile.”

“Pfft.”Dadturnedtoher.“Whatdoyouknowaboutpickinghusbands?Lasttimeyou

triedthat,yougotstuckwithme.”

Shesmiledandhithisarm.

“Youtwoaresogross,youruin

everything.”Ispunandheadedtowardthe

door.

“Haveagreatday,honey,”Momcalled

afterme,andIraisedahandinacknowledg-

mentbeforepausingbyHenri.

“Umm.Lähteä?”

Hebeamed.“Yes!Good,good!”He

droppedhisnapkinbyhisplateandtookmy

arm.

“Waitup!”Foxcalled,andKilewasright

behindhim.“I’mlookingforwardtothis.I

thinkIdidprettywelllasttime.”

“Erik’ssuchanencouragingteacher.

Thoughyoucouldjustbestringingtogether

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randomsounds,he’dtellyou‘nicetry,’”Kilesaidwithalaugh.

Inodded.“Maybeit’saSwendishthing?

PoorHenriwasstuckhelpingmelasttime,

andhehadtograbmyfacebecauseIwas

makingtheshapeswrong.”Imimickedthe

action,andHenricaughton,smilingatus.

“Butwashebothered?Nope.”

AsecondafterIbroughtitup,Ire-

memberedthatHenriandImighthavebeen

onthevergeofakissinthatmoment.And

whileIwasrelievedtoseeneitherofthem

seemedtohavenoticedit,IwasstruckbythefactthatIhadn’tthoughtaboutthatalmost

kissatall.

Whenwegottothelibrary,Erikwas

alreadyinthere,writingontheboard.

“Goodmorning,Professor,”Igreeted,

walkingoverhim.

“YourHighness.OrdowesayMajesty,

now?”

243/467

“Notyet!”Iexclaimed.“Justthinking

aboutthatgivesmetheshivers.”

“Well,I’mthrilledforyou.Weallare.I

mean,theyallare,”hecorrected,noddingtowardtheElite,includingHaleandEan,who

werewalkinginbehindeveryone.“Ididn’t

intendtolumpmyselfinwiththem.Ijustgettoseeeveryone’sreactionsupclose.”

“Don’tbesilly.You’repartofthegang.”I

laughed,lookingaroundtheroom.“Some-

timesthisfeelsmorelikeaweirdlittleclubthanacompetition.”

“You’reright.Butthatdoesn’tchangethe

factthatitis.”

Hissombertonedrewmyeyesbacktohis

face,thoughhewasavoidingmygaze.In-

steadhepickedupahandfulofpapersand

gavethemtome.

“AndhowluckyamItobeabletosayIgot

tohelpthenewqueenlearnFinnish?”His

eyesglowedwithpride.

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Ipeekedoverattheothers,watchingthem

chooseseats,andsteppedalittlecloserto

keepmywordsbetweenthetwoofus.

“I’llmissyou,too,youknow.Whenit’sall

over.Youmeanasmuchastheothers.More

thansome.”

Heshookhishead.“Youshouldn’tsay

that.I’mnotlikethem.”

“Youareexactlylikethem.Ascommon

andaselevated,Eikko.”

Hestilledatthesoundofhisgivenname,

and,justbarely,thecornersofhislips

hitchedupintoasmile.

“Hey,Eady,”Kilecalled.“Wanttobemy

partner?”

“Sure.”Iwalkedovertohim,andErik

followed.

“We’llspendafewminutesgoingover

whatwelearnedlastweek,”Erikbegan.

“Thenwe’llmoveontosomebasicconversa-

tionalquestionsandanswers.Iknowafew

ofyouwerestudyingotherthings,andI’m

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happytohelpwithanyofthat,too.Fornow,

let’sgobacktothenumbers.”

“Okay,herewego.Yksi,kaksi,kolme,neljä,viisi,”Kilerecitedproudly.

“Howdoyoudothat?I’msojealous.”

“Practice.What,youdon’thaveaspare

hourtodevotetocountinginFinnish?”

Ilaughed.“I’mtakingshowersatabreak-

neckspeedthesedays.Imissmytime.But

it’llbeworthit,gettingMomandDada

chancetobreathe.”

“IfeelweirdsayingI’mproudofyou,butI

am.”Hetriedtosuppresshisgrinandfailed.

“It’slikethisletsmeknowthatI’mnotfallingforsomefigmentofmyimagination,that

you’rereallyassmartandselflessandde-

terminedasI’vestartedthinkingyouare.”

“AsopposedtoEadlyncircathistimelast

year?”Isaidslyly.

“Don’tgetmewrong,shewasafungirl.

Knewhowtoparty,knewhowtolightupa

room.Thisgirldoesthatandahundred

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thingsmore.AndIlikeher.Butyoualready

knowthat.”

“Ilikeyou,too,”Iwhispered.Icaught

sightofErikoutofthecornerofmyeyeand

turnedbacktothepaper.“Eightandnine

tripmeupbecausethey’resimilarbutreally

differentatthesametime.”

“Okay.Let’slookatthoseagainthen.”

Erikwalkedaway,andIfeltguiltyfor

wastingthisclasstimewhenitwas

somethingIgenuinelywantedtolearn.

“Speakingoflikingyou,I’msorryIhaven’t

beenabletomakemuchtime.”

Kileshrugged.“Don’tworryaboutme,

Eady.I’mstillhere.”Withthathepointedtothepaperinfrontofme,forcingmetofocus

onthesyllables.Iwatchedhimexaggerate

theshapesofthewordswithhismouth,all

thewhilefeelinggratefulforlanguageand

timeandeverythingwaitingonmyhorizon.

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IpushedopentheofficedoortofindLady

Briceonthephone.Shewavedatmeasshe

continuedspeaking.

“Yes…yes…oneweekfromtoday.Thank

you!”Sheplunkeddownthereceiver.“Sorry.

Yourdeskisthebiggest,andwiththecoron-

ationinaweek,there’salottotakecareof.

Flowersareready,thechurchisbooked,we

havethreedesignersworkingondressop-

tions;andifyouwantNeenatooverseeany

ofthat,I’msureshe’dbethrilled.”

Istaredatthepilesoffoldersshe’dsetout.

“Didyoudoallthisinaday?”

“Moreorless.”

Imadeafaceather,andshegrinnedbe-

foreconfessingthetruth.

“Ihadafeelingitwascoming,soIhada

fewthingshammeredoutjustincase.”

Ishookmyhead.“Youknowmebetter

thanIknowmyself.”

“Partofthejob.Sidenote,”shesaid.“IgotacallthismorningfromMarid.Hethanked

248/467

youforhisfamily’sinvitationtothecorona-

tionbutwasn’tsurehisparentswouldbe

completelywelcome.”

“IspokewithDad.Heknewthat,right?”

“Hedid.”

Isighed.“ButMarid’scoming?”

“Yes.Andoncethishasallpassedand

you’resettledinasqueen,youcankeep

reachingouttothemifyouwant.”

Inodded.“Ifthat’sabridgethatcanbe

mended,Iwantitdone.”

“Thatseemsverywise.”

Itookadeepbreath,baskinginthepraise.

I’dneedtokeepthekindwordsIreceived

closetome,likearmor,ifIwasgoingto

survive.

“I’mreadytowork.Hitmewithit.”

“Actually,Ithinkthebestuseofyourtime

mightbetospeakwithsomeoftheElite,or

goonadateorsomething.”

“Iwasjustwiththem,”Iprotested.

“They’reallfine.”

249/467

“Imeanmoreintheone-on-onesense.

Besidesthecoronationdetails,whichyou

shouldn’tevenbebotheredwith,there’s

nothingthatcan’twaituntilMonday.Your

professionallifeismovingforward,andyou

weretheonewhosaidthatitwenthandin

handwithyourprivatelife.”Sheraisedher

eyebrowsatme.

“Okay.”

“Whysoglum?IfIremembercorrectly,

youthinkallfiveofthemarefront-runners.”

“It’scomplicated.TheoneImostneedto

talktomightnotevenwanttospeaktome.”

Isighed.“Wishmeluck.”

“Youdon’tneedit.”

ISATINMYROOM,waitingforHaletoarrive.Iwantedtohavethisconversationinaplace

thatwasintimateandcomfortable.My

palmsweresweating,andIrealizedrather

abruptlyIwasgettingdowntotheboysI

reallydidn’twanttosendhome.Iknewonly

onewouldstayintheend,butIalmost

wishedtheotherscouldcallthepalacehome,

too,ormaybepromisetovisitonholidays.

251/467

Isnappedmyheadupattheknockonthe

doorandwenttoansweritmyself.Ididn’t

wantEloisearoundforthis.

Halebowed.“YourHighness.”

“Comein.Areyouhungry?Thirsty?”

“No,I’mgood.”Herubbedhishandsto-

gether,lookingasnervousasIwas.

Isatatthetable,andhejoinedme.

WhenIcouldn’tbearthesilenceany

longer,Ispoke.“Ineedyoutotellmewhat’sgoingon.”

Heswallowed.“AndIwanttotellyou.But

Idon’tknowwhatI’lldoifyouenduphatingmebecauseofit.”

Despitethewarmth,Ifeltachill.“Why

wouldIhateyou,Hale?Whatdidyoudo?”

“It’snotsomethingIdid.It’ssomethingI

can’tdo.”

“Whichis?”

“Marryyou.”

252/467

ThoughI’dbeenexpectingasmuch,

thoughmyhearthadneverreally,fullybeen

his,itwasstillapainfulblow.

“What—”Ihadtostopandbreathe.This

wasmyworstfearcomingtolife.Iwasun-

lovable.Iknewit.Allithadtakenwasafewweeksbymysideforhimtofigureitout.

“Whatsuddenlymadeyousocertainyou

couldn’tmarryme?”

Hepaused,lookingpained,andItook

someconsolationinthefactthathedidn’t

seemtowanttohurtme.“WhenIfoundIhadfeelingsforsomeoneelse.”

Atleastthatwaseasiertohandlethanmy

initialworry.“Carrie?”

Heshookhishead.“Ean.”

Iwasdriventoabsolutesilence.Ean?Like,

EanEan?

Ididn’tseethatcoming.Halehadbeenso

tender,soromantic.Butinstantlyeverything

aboutEanbecameclear.

253/467

Whenthecasteshadbeeninplace,itwas

lawthateveryfamilyfellintothecasteofthehusband.Becauseofthat,there

couldonly

everbeonemaleheadofthehousehold.The

samewentforwomen:nomarriedcouple,

nolegitimatehousehold.Somepeoplelived

togetherwithoutbotheringwithmarriage,

callingtheirloversroommates,butitwas

frownedon.Momtoldmeaboutasame-sex

couplebackinCarolinawho’dbeenshunned

tothepointthattheyweredrivenoutof

town.

I’dnevercaredforthatstory.Itsoundedto

melikewaytoomanypeoplehadithard

whenshewasgrowingup.Whywouldany-

onegooutoftheirwaytomakesomeone’s

lifeanyharder?

Regardless,same-sexcouplestendedto

liveintheshadows,ontheoutskirtsofsoci-

ety,andunfortunatelythatwasstillthecasetoday.ThismadeEan’sacceptanceofnot

254/467

findingloveinhislifemuchmore

understandable.

ButHale?

“How…howdidyoueven…?”

“WestartedtalkingonenightintheMen’s

Parlor.Ihadn’tbeenabletosleepandde-

cidedtogotheretoread.Ifoundhimwritinginhisjournal.”Halesmiledtohimself.“You

wouldn’tthinkittolookathim,buthe’sac-

tuallyverypoetic.

“Anyway,wejusttalked.And,Idon’tknow

howweevengottothepointwherewewere

sittingbesideeachother,butthenhekissed

me,and…IknewwhyIneverhadacrushon

Carrie.Iknewwhy,eventhoughyouarethe

smartest,funniest,bravestgirlIknow,I

couldn’tmarryyou.”

Iclosedmyeyes,takingthisin.AndIfelt

absolutelyhorrified,becauseallthatcametomymindwashowbadlythismightaffectme.

ForgetthatHalewasgoingtohavetoexplain

thisdiscoveryabouthimselftohisfamily,

255/467

forgetthatEanmightfinallybeforcedto

comeclean.Whatwouldthepresssaywhen

theyeventuallylearnedthatnotonebuttwo

ofmysuitorswouldratherbewitheachoth-

erthanwithme?

SometimesIwasareallyterribleperson.

“IknowthataSelectedbeinginarelation-

shipwithsomeoneelseistreason,”Hale

breathed.Iraisedmyeyes,havingforgotten

thatdetail.“ButIalsoknowthatashort,

honestlifeisbetterthanalong,deceitful

one.”

“Hale,”Iurged,leaningacrossthetableto

takehishand.“WhatmakesyouthinkI

couldevenpunishyou?”

“Iknowtherules.”

Isighed.“Weliveourlivesboundbythem,

don’twe?”

Henodded.

“PerhapsyouandIcouldmakeadeal?”

“Whatkindofdeal?”

256/467

Ipulledmyhandsback,rubbingthemto-

gether.“Ifyouwoulddomethefavorofstay-

inguntilafterthecoronationandlettingme

dismissyouandEanafewweeks,ormaybe

evendays,apart,thenIwillallowyouto

leavethepalacewithoutanysortof

repercussions.”

Hestaredatme.“Really?”

“Iadmit,I’mworriedaboutthefallout

fromallthis.Butifitlookslikeyoutwofellforeachotherafteryouwereeliminated,

thennoonecouldaccuseyouoftreason.

And,I’msorry,butifthepressfoundout,

they’dtearmeapartoverthis.”

“Ireallydidn’twanttomakethingsharder

foryou.I’mnotinlovewithyou,butIlove

youenoughtotellyouthetruth.”

Standing,Ibridgedthespacebetweenus.

Hestood,too,andIflungmyarmsaround

him,restingmyheadonhisshoulder.“I

know.AndIloveyou,too.Iwouldn’twish

257/467

youalifetimeshackledtomewhenitwould

makeyoumiserable.”

“IsthereanythingIcandoforyou?Leav-

ingherewithyourblessingwasmorethanI

hopedfor.HowcanIhelpyou?”

Isteppedback.“Justbeanexemplary

Selectioncandidateforafewmoredays.I

realizethat’saskingalot,butgettingmepastthecoronationwouldmeantheworldto

me.”

“It’snotaskingalot,Eadlyn.It’shardly

askinganything.”

Iputahandonhischeek.Something

everyday.

“So,ishetheoneorwhat?”

Halelaughed,therelieffinallyhittinghim.

“Idon’tknow.Imean,I’veneverfeltlikethisbefore.”

Inodded.“SinceheandIdon’ttalkmuch,

maybeyou’dliketotellhimhowyourelim-

inationswillwork?He’llprobablygohome

258/467

beforeyou,sincepubliclyhelookedlikea

lesslikelycandidate.”

Sayingthatoutloudcausedalittlepingin

mychest,too.Eanhadbeenasafetynet;and

still,knowingthetruth,Ididn’trelishthe

ideaofhimgoinghome.

“Thankyou.Forallofthis.”

“Don’tmentionit.”

Halesweptinandhuggedmeagainbefore

runningoff.Ismiled,thinkingthatHaleand

Iwereinverysimilarsituations:charging

headlongintothefuturewithnoguarantee

ofahappilyeverafter.Allthesame,itmeantsomethingthatweran,didn’tit?

Ilikedtothinkso.

Thedayhadgonefromwonderfultocom-

plicatedveryquickly,andbytheendofitI

wasreadytobypassdinnerandfallstraight

intobed.Ipushedmydooropen,tryingto

holdontothebestpartsoftheday.Lady

BricesayingIwaswise.Thepressfeeling

259/467

hopeful.Hale’ssmilebeforeheranoutoftheroom.

“Youknow,”adeepvoicesaid,“IthinkI

mightbeyourmaid’sfavorite.”

Kilewasloungingonmybed,hisarms

comfortablycrossedbehindhishead.

Ilaughed.“Andwhyisthat?”

“Becauseshewasfartooeasytobribe.”

“Theleastyoucouldhavedonewastake

offyourshoes.”

Hemadeafaceandslippedthemoff,then

pattedthespaceonthebedbesidehim.

Ifloppeddown,lookingincrediblyunlady-

like.Herolledover,facingme,andIcaught

aglimpseofhisfingers.“Whatintheworld

haveyoubeendoingtoday?”

“Ispenttheafternoonsketchingwithchar-

coals,”heanswered,flippinghisblackened

handsover.“Don’tworry.Theywon’truboff

onyoursheets.Myfingersarejuststained.”

“What’dyoudreamup?”

260/467

“Irealizethismightbeoverstepping

boundaries,butIwasthinkingaboutthe

townhall,andIwaswonderingifitmightbe

helpfultohavethingslikethatmoreoften.Iwasredesigningoneoftheparlorsintoapermanentthroneroom,whereyoucouldre-

ceivepeople,hearindividualpetitions,and

addressthemone-on-one.Somethingofficial

butunderstated.”

“That’sreallythoughtful.”

Heshrugged.“Itoldyou,Ikeepmaking

thingsforyou.”

Theglimmerinhiseyeswassoboyishthat

foramomentIforgotwewereontheverge

ofsomanygrown-upthings.

“Youalsomightwanttothinkaboutset-

tinguparadiostation,”hecommented.

“Ugh,why?TheReportsarebadenough.”

“WhenIwastakingclassesinFennley,my

friendsandIlistenedtotheradioalot.We

wouldleaveitoninthekitchenorwhilewe

worked,andanytimeweheardsomething

261/467

interesting,we’dstopandlistenandstart

ourowndiscussion.Itmightbeagoodway

foryoutoreachpeople.Andit’snotquiteasbadashavingacamerainyourface.”

“Interesting.I’llthinkaboutit.”Itouched

thetipsofhisdirtyfingers.“Didyouworkonanythingelse?”

Hemadeaface.“Rememberthoselittle

unitsIwastalkingabout?Iwastryingtoseeiftheycouldbebuiltwithanupstairs,for

largerfamilies.ButlookingatthematerialsIwantedtouse,itdoesn’tseempossible.The

metalwouldbetoothin.Itwouldbehelpful

ifIcouldactuallybuildoneandtestitout.

Maybeoneday.”

Istaredathim.“Youknow,Kile,princes

rarelygettheirhandsdirty.”

“Iknow.”Hesmiled.“It’smoresomething

nicetothinkaboutthananything.”Heshif-

tedhisweightandtheconversationinone

swiftmovement.“Thepaperslookedgood

today.”

262/467

“Yeah.NowIjusthavetokeepthatmo-

mentumgoing.Ihavenoideahowtore-cre-

ateitthough.”

“Youdon’thaveto.Sometimesthingsjust

happen.”

“Itwouldfeelnicetonottrytoworkatitallsomuch.”Iyawned.Evenamostlygood

daywastiring.

“Doyouwantmetogosothatyoucanget

somerest?”

“Nah,”Isaid,settlinginalittlecloserandrollingontomyback.“Canyoustayherefor

alittlewhile?”

“Sure.”

Heheldmyhand,andwestaredatthein-

tricatepaintingonmyceiling.

“Eadlyn?”

“Yeah.”

“Youokay?”

“Yeah.IfeellikeI’dbedoingbetterifI

couldgoslower,buteverythinghastobe

now,now,now.”

263/467

“Youcouldpushthecoronationback.Stay

regentforawhile.It’spracticallythesame

thing.”

“Iknow,butitdoesn’tfeelthesame.My

dadwasdoingokaywithmeasregent,but

evenintheshorttimesincewesetadateforthecoronation,he’sbeenmuchbetter.I

knowit’sallmental,butifithelpshimsleep,whichhelpshimwithMom,whichhelpsher

getbetter…”

“Iseewhatyou’resaying.Butwhatelse?

You’renotrushingthroughtheSelection,are

you?”

“Notonpurpose.Itseemstobethinning

itselfoutforme.”


Isighed.“Ican’treallysaynow.Maybe

onceeverything’ssettled.”

“Youcantrustme.”

“Iknow.”Ileanedmyheadintohis

shoulder.“Kile?”

“Yeah.”

264/467

“Doyourememberourfirstkiss?”

“HowcouldIforget?Itwasprintedonthe

frontofeverynewspaper.”

“No,notthatone.Ourfirstfirstkiss.”

Afterabeatofconfusion,hesuckedina

hugebreath.“Oh.My.Gosh.”

Ijustlaytherelaughing.

WhenIwasfourandKilewassix,heandI

playedtogetheralot.Istilldidn’trememberwhatmadehimstarthatingpalacelifeor

whenourmutualdislikeforeachother

kickedin,butbackthenKilewaslikeanoth-

erAhren.Onedaythethreeofuswere

playinghide-and-seek,andKilefoundme.

Insteadoftaggingmeout,though,hebent

downandkissedmefullonthemouth.

Istoodupandpushedhimtotheground

andsworetohimthatifheevertriedit

again,I’dhavehimhanged.

“What

four-year-old

knows

how

to

threatensomeone’slife?”heteased.

“Onewhowasraisedto,Isuppose.”

265/467

“Wait,isthisyourwayoftellingmeyou’re

havingmehanged?Because,ifso,thisisin-

crediblycold.”

“No.”Ilaughed.“Ifeltyoudeservedan

apologybynow.”

“It’sfine.Reallyfunnyyearslater.When

peopleaskaboutmyfirstkiss,Ineversay

thatone.Itellthemitwasthedaughterof

theSaudiprimeminister.Iguessthatone

wasactuallymysecond.”

“Whydon’tyoutellthemaboutme?”

“BecauseIthoughtyoumightfollow

throughonthehangingthing,”hejoked.“I

guessIjustblockeditout.Itwasn’texactlyafantasticfirstkiss.”

Istartedgiggling.“Momtoldmethatshe

wasDad’sfirstkiss,andsheprettymuch

triedtobackoutofit.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah.”

Kilelaughed.“Doyouknowabout

Ahren’s?”

266/467

“No.”ButKilewassotickled,Iwasintears

beforehesaidaword.

“ItwaswithoneoftheItaliangirls,buthe

hadacoldand—”Hepausedbecausehewas

laughingsohard.“Oh,man,hehadtosneeze

mid-kiss,sotherewassnoteverywhere.”

“What?”

“Ididn’tseethekiss,butIwastherefor

theaftermath.Ijustgrabbedhim,andwe

ran.”

Mystomachhurtfromlaughing,andit

tookawhileforittowearoutofoursystems.

Whenwefinallycalmeddown,Irealized

something.“Idon’tknowanyonewho’shad

areallygoodfirstkiss.”

Afterasecondheanswered.“Meneither.

Maybeit’snotthefirstkissesthataresup-

posedtobespecial.Maybeit’sthelastones.”

ISTOODSTILLASNEENAplacedpinsdownthe

backofmycoronationgown.Itwasa

showstopper,withasweetheartnecklineand

afullskirtallingold.Thecapewasalittleheavy,butIonlyhadtowearthatinthe

church.WhileIhadchosenthisgownoutof

thethreethathadbeenofferedtome,it

probablywasn’twhatI’dhavewornifI’dhad

timetodesignthedressmyself.Still,

268/467

everyonesighedwhentheysawit,soIbitmy

tongueandwasgrateful.

“Youlookbeautiful,darling,”Momsaidas

Istoodonaraisedplatforminfrontofhuge

mirrorsthathadbeenbroughttomyroom

especiallyforthisfitting.

“Thanks,Mom.Howdoyouthinkitcom-

pareswithyours?”

Shechuckled.“Mycoronationdresswas

alsomyweddingdress,sothere’snocom-

parison.Yourgownisperfectforthe

occasion.”

NeenachuckledasItouchedtheembroid-

eryonthebodice.“It’sdefinitelythemostos-tentatiousdressI’veeverworn.”

“Andjustthink,you’llhavetoone-up

yourselfwhenyougetmarried,”Neena

joked.

Mysmilefaded.“True.That’llbeachal-

lenge,huh?”

“Youokay?”sheasked,lookingatmein

themirror.

269/467

“Yes.Alittletiredisall.”

“Idon’tcarewhatelsehappensthisweek,

youneedtorest,”Momordered.“Saturdayis

goingtobelong,andyou’llbeatthecenter

ofitall.”

“Yes,ma’am.”Iwatchedherfiddlingwith

hernecklace.“Mom?Whatdoyouthinkyou

wouldhavedoneifyoucouldn’thavemar-

riedDad?Like,ifitgottotheendandhe

chosesomeoneelse?”

Sheshookherhead.“Heverynearlydid.

Youknowaboutthemassacre.”Sheswal-

lowed,pausingforaminute.Afterallthis

timeitwasstillhardforhertogobackthere.

“Thatdayhemighthavegonedownanen-

tirelydifferentpath,whichmeantIwould

have,too.”

“Wouldyouhavebeenokaythough?”

“Eventually,”shesaidslowly.“Idon’t

thinkeitherofuswouldhavelivedalifethatwasbadnecessarily.Itjustmightnothave

beenthebestitcouldhavebeen.”

270/467

“Butyouwouldn’thavebeencompletely

miserabletherestofyourlife?”

Shestudiedmyfaceinthemirror.“If

you’reworriedaboutlettingyoursuitors

down,youcan’tfocusonthat.”

Ipressedmyhandstomystomach,hold-

ingthedresstightasNeenaworked.“Iknow.

It’sjustharderthanIthoughtitwouldbebythispoint.”

“It’llbecomeclear.Trustme.Andyour

fatherandIwillsupportyouinwhatever

choiceyoumake.”

“Thankyou.”

“Ithinkthisisfinallycomingtogether,”

Neenacommented,steppingbacktoap-

praiseherwork.“Ifyou’rehappy,youcan

takeitoff,andI’llhavethecouriersenditbacktoAllmond.”

Momnibbledonsomeappleslices.“I

don’tunderstandwhyhewouldn’tletyoudo

thesewing.Hetrustsyoutofitit.”

Sheshrugged.“Ijustfolloworders.”

271/467

Aquietknockonthedoordrewouratten-

tion.“Comein,”Neenacalled,fallinginto

heroldrole.Iwishedshecouldjustrunmy

entirelifeforme.Everythingfelteasierwithheraround.

Abutlerenteredandbowed.“Pardonme,

YourHighness.There’ssomeconfusion

aboutthesuitforoneofthegentlemen.”

“Whichone?”

“Erik,miss.”

“Thetranslator?”Momasked.

“Yes,YourMajesty.”

“I’mcoming,”Isaid,followinghimoutthe

door.

“Don’tyouwanttotakeoffthegown?”

Neenaasked.

“It’llgivemeachancetopracticewalking

init.”

Anditdid.Itwasincrediblyheavy,anda

littlehardtonavigatedownthestairs.I’d

needsturdierheels.

272/467

AsIapproachedErik’sroom,Icouldhear

himimploringsomeonetoreconsider.“Iam

notanElite.Itwouldbeinappropriate.”

Ipushedthedooropenwider,findinghim

inasuitwithchalklinesdownthesidesand

pinsinthehem.

“YourHighness,”thetailorsaid,immedi-

atelydroppingintoabow.

Erik,however,staredandstared,unableto

lookawayfromthedress.

“We’rehavingaproblemcomingtoterms

withhissuit,miss.”Thetailormotionedto

thechalked-upsuit.

Erikregainedhiscomposure.“Idon’twant

toconfuseanyonebywearingasuitthat

matcheswhattheElitearewearing.”

“Butyouwillbewalkingintheprocession,

andtherewillbescoresofpictures,”thetail-orinsisted.“Uniformityisbest.”

Eriklookedatme,hiseyespleading.

Ipressedmyfingerstomylips,consider-

ing.“Couldyougiveusamoment,please?”

273/467

Thetailorbowedagainandexited,andI

crossedtostandinfrontofErik.

“Itdoeslookrathersharp,”Isaidwitha

grin.

“Itdoes,”headmitted.“I’mjustnotsure

it’sproper.”

“What?Tolookniceforaday?”

“I’mnotanElite.It’s…confusingtohave

mestandingwiththem,lookinglikethem,

whenIcan’t…I’mnot…”

Iputahandonhischest.“Thetailoris

right.Youwillwanttoblendin.Adifferent

colorofsuitwouldn’thelpyourcasehere.”

Hesighed.“ButI’m—”

“Whatifyourtiewasaslightlydifferent

color?”Iofferedquickly.

“Isthatmyonlyoption?”

“Yes.Besides,thinkofhowmuchyour

motherwilllovethis.”

Herolledhiseyes.“That’ssounfair.You

win.”

274/467

Iclappedmyhands.“See?Thatwasn’tso

hard.”

“Ofcourseitwaseasyforyou.Youwere

theonegivingthecommand.”

“Ididn’tmeantocommandyou,not

really.”

Hesmirked.“Ofcourseyoudid.You’re

madeforit.”

Icouldn’ttellifthatwasacritiqueora

compliment.“Whatdoyouthink?”Iasked,

holdingoutmyarms.“Imean,youhaveto

trytoimagineitwithoutallthepins.”

Hepaused.“Youlookbreathtaking,

Eadlyn.Icouldn’tevenrememberwhatIwas

soworkedupaboutwhenyoufirstwalked

in.”

Ifoughttheblush.“I’vebeenwonderingif

itwastoomuch.”

“It’sperfect.Icanseeit’salittledifferentfromyourusualstyle,butthenagain,your

typicallookisn’tmeanttobecoronation-day

ready.”

275/467

Iturnedaroundandlookedinthemirror.

Thatonesentencemadethewholethingso

muchbetter.

“Thankyou.IthinkI’vebeenoveranalyz-

ingit.”

Hestoodbesideme.Itwascomical,these

beautifulclothes,someofthebestwe’dever

wear,markedinchalkandheldbypins.We

lookedlikedolls.“Thatseemstobeatalent

ofyours.”

Igrimacedbutnodded.Hewasright.

“IrealizeI’minnopositiontotellyou

whattodo,”hesaid,“butyouseemtohandle

thingsmuchbetterwhenyouthinkabout

themless.Getoutofyourhead.Trustyour

gut.Trustyourheart.”

“I’mterrifiedofmyheart.”Ididn’tmean

tosaythosewordsoutloud,buttherewas

somethingabouthimthatmadethisroom,

andthismoment,theonlyplaceIcouldever

admittothetruth.

276/467

Heleaneddownbymyearandwhispered,

“There’snothingtheretofear.”Hecleared

histhroat,thenturnedbacktofaceourre-

flections.“Maybewhatyouneedisalittle

luck.Youseethisring?”heasked,holding

outhispinkie.

Idid.I’dnoticeditadozentimes.Why

wouldsomeonewhodulledhimselfdown

andrefusedtoputonasuitwearapieceof

jewelry?

“Thiswasmygreat-great-grandmother’s

weddingring.Theweavingdesignisatradi-

tionalSwendishthing.Youseeiteverywhere

inSwendway.”Heslippedofftheringand

helditbetweentwofingers.“Thishassur-

vivedeverythingfromwarstofamine,even

myfamily’smovetoIlléa.I’msupposedto

giveittothegirlImarry.Mom’sorders.”

Ismiled,charmedbyhisexcitement.I

wonderediftherewassomeonebackhome

hopingtowearitsomeday.

277/467

“Butitseemstohavealotofgoodluck,”

hecontinued.“Ithinkyoucouldusesome

rightnow.”

Heheldouttheringtome,butIshookmy

head.“Ican’ttakethat!It’sanheirloom.”

“Yes,butit’saveryfortunateheirloom.It’sguidedseveralpeopletotheirsoulmates.

Andit’sonlytemporary.Untilyougettothe

endoftheSelection,orHenriandIleave.

Whicheverhappensfirst.”

Hesitantly,Islidtheringontomyfinger,

notinghowsmoothitwas.

“Thankyou,Erik.”

Ilookedintohisblueeyes.Itonlytookone

chargedsecondtoheartheheartthatI’dhad

solittlefaithin.Itwastakinginthatpiercingstareandthewarmscentofhisskin…andit

wasshouting.

Withoutconsideringtherepercussionsor

thecomplications,withoutknowingifhefelt

anythingsimilartowhatIdid,Ileanedinto

him.AndIwasthrilledtofindhewasn’t

278/467

pullingaway.WeweresocloseIcouldfeel

hisbreathacrossmylips.

“Havewemadeadecision?”thetailor

asked,springingbackin.

IjerkedawayfromErik.“Yes.Pleasefinish

thesuitforus,sir.”

Withoutlookingback,Ihurriedintothe

hallway.MyheartwasracingasIfoundan

emptyguestroomanddartedinside,slam-

mingthedoorbehindme.

Ihadfeltitgrowing,thisfeelingthathad

beenhidingbeneaththesurfaceforsome

timenow.I’dseenhim,thispersonwhonev-

erintendedtobeseen,andmyfaulty,silly,

uselessheartkeptwhisperinghisname.I

clutchedmychest,feelingmyheartracing.

“Youtreacherous,treacherousthing.What

haveyoudone?”

I’dwonderedhowitwaspossibletomagic-

allyfindasoulmateinarandomgroupof

boys.

ButnowIcouldn’tquestionit.

THENEXTFEWDAYSPASSEDinawhirlwindof

preparationforthecoronation.Ididmyab-

solutebesttostayinmyofficeandtake

mealsinmyroom,butevenso,Icouldn’t

avoidErikcompletely.

Wehadtogobythechurchandpractice

theprocession,inwhichhewasforcedto

participateinordertoevenoutthenumber

ofpeoplewalkingbehindme.Andhehadto

stickbyHenriaswewalkedtheElitethrough

280/467

theGreatRoom,explaininghowbesttocir-

culateataformalparty.AndIhadtoap-

provethefinalfittingoftheirsuits,whichImanagedtodowithoutmakingeyecontact

butwhichstillwasmuch,muchharderthan

I’dhavethought.

Thecoronationwouldbeoneofthemost

importantmomentsofmylife,andstill,allIcouldthinkaboutwashowitmighthavefelt

tokisshim.

Iwasrunninglate.Ineverranlate.

Butmyhairwouldn’tcurltherightway,

andaseampoppedundermyarm,and

thoughI’dpickedoutsensibleheelsearlier

intheweek,onceItriedthemonwiththe

dress,Ihatedthem.

Eloisetookdeepbreathsasshegotmy

hairright,practicingwithamockcrownto

checkthateverythingwouldlookasbeautiful

aspossiblewhentheactualmomentarrived.

Neenawasbusymakingsurepeoplewere

dressedandready,soitwasHalewho

281/467

dashedinatthelastmomentwithaneedle

andthreadtomakesureeverythingwiththe

dresswasfixed.

“Thankyou,”Ibreathed.

Hetiedoffthelaststitch.“Anytime.”He

lookedathiswatch.“ThoughIreallywish

you’dhaveaskedearlier.”

“Itdidn’tpopuntilIputiton!”

Hesmiled.“Igaveeverythingaonce-over,

anditlookslikethatwastheonlyweakspot.

Betterwecaughtitnowthaninthemiddleof

theday.”

Inodded.“Ineedthingstobeperfect

today.JustonceI’dliketocomeacrossas

puttogetherbutnotsoputtogetherthatI

hateeverythingandeveryonearoundme.”

Halelaughed.“Wellthen,ifithappensto

popagain,rollwithit.”

Eloisewenttofetchsomethingfromthe

bathroom,andItookmychance.“How’s

Ean?”Iaskedinawhisper.

282/467

“Good.Stunned,”heanswered,almost

giddy.“Webothwanttohelpyouin

whateverwaywecan.You’remakingourfu-

turespossible,soweoweyouone.”

“Justhelpmegetthroughtoday,andthat

willbeplenty.”

“Somethingeveryday,”heremindedme.

Ihoppedoffthepedestalandhuggedhim.

“You’vebeenincrediblyworthy.”

“That’sgoodtoknow,”hereplied,return-

ingmyembrace.“Okay,I’mgettingmysuit

jacketandheadingdownstairs.Letmeknow

ifyouneedmetoday.”

Inodded,tryingnottotenseasEloise

camebacktodoherfinaltouch-ups.

“He’saniceone,”sheremarked,spraying

thelastoftheflyaways.

“Heis.”

“Personally,I’dpickKile,”shecommented

withagiggle.

283/467

“Iknow!”Ishookmyheadather.“Istill

haven’tforgottenhowyoulethimsneakinto

myroom.”

Sheshrugged.“Heismyfavorite.Ihaveto

dowhatIcan!”

Finallyeverythingwasinplace.Imademy

waydownstairs,thetailofmycapedraped

overmyarm.Thefoyerwasamassof

people.GeneralLegerononesideholding

MissLucy’shandstohislips,Josieand

Neenainmatchingpale-bluegownsthat

wouldlooklovelyastheyheldmytraindown

theaisle,andthefiveremainingEliteina

circletowardacorner,withErikwearinga

tiethatwasashadeofblueslightlybrighterthantheothers.

ButIonlyhadeyesforoneboyinthe

crowd.AsIreachedthemiddleofthestair-

case,IcaughtsightofAhren.Hewashere.

Irushedthroughtheherd,elbowingmy

waypastadvisersandfriends,runningnot

intoAhren’sarms,butCamille’s.

284/467

“Ishewell?”Iaskedintoherear.

“Oui,very.”

“Andareyourpeoplepleased?Dotheyac-

cepthim?”

“Asifhewasbornoneofourown.”

Iheldhertighter.“Thankyou.”

Ipulledaway,turningtoseemystupid

brother.

“Youcleanupnice,”heteased.

Ididn’tknowifIshouldjokewithhimor

punchhiminthearmorscreamorlaughor

anythingatall.SoIcrushedhiminahug.

“I’msorry,”hewhispered.“Ishouldn’t

haveleftthewayIdid.Ishouldn’thaveleftyoualone.”

Ishookmyhead.“Youwereright.Imiss

yousomuchithurts,butyouhadtogo.”

“AssoonasIheardaboutMom,Iwanted

tocomeback.ButIdidn’tknowifitwould

makethingsworseorbetter,orifitwasevenfairformetoshowupsinceitseemedIwas

thecause.”

285/467

“Don’tberidiculous.Allthatmattersis

thatyou’reherenow.”

HeheldmecloseforaminuteasLady

Briceorganizedeveryoneintocars.Thead-

viserswentfirstandtheElitejustafter,allofthembowingdeeplytome,Erikespecially.

Hedidn’tmeetmyeyes,andIwasgrateful.

Whoknewwhatmystupidheartmighthave

doneifhehad?

Itdidmeltalittlewhenhewalkedaway,

pullingrepeatedlyathissleeves,seeming

painfullyuncomfortableinhissuit.

“Okay,nextcar,”LadyBriceannounced.

“EveryonewhoselastnameisSchreave,even

you,MonsieurFrenchPrince.”

“Yes,ma’am,”Ahrensaid,takingCamille’s

hand.

“Eadlyn’sinfirst,followedbyNeenaand

Josie.Therestofthefamilyinafterthat,andI’llbeinacarrightbehindyou.”

Dadpaused.“Brice,youshouldbewith

us.”

286/467

“Absolutely,”Momagreed.“There’sroom

inthelimo,andyou’retheoneholdingthis

wholethingtogether.”

“I’mnotsurethat’sappropriate,”she

replied.

Neenatiltedherhead,tryingtoputdoubt

inLadyBrice’smind.“Itcouldeasilyfall

apartontheten-minutedrive.”

“Also,thelikelihoodofsomeonethinking

NeenaandIaresistersisslim,”Iadded.

“Staywithus.”

Shepursedherlipsasifshethoughtthis

wassomehowabadidea.“Fine.Let’sgo.”

Wepiledintothelimo,mydresstakingup

thespaceofthreepeople.Therewassomuch

laughterandfeetsteppingoverfeetthatthe

wholethingstartedtofeelfunny.Itooka

deepbreath.AllIhadtodowassayafew

words,makeapromiseI’dalreadymadein

myheart.IlookedacrossthecartoMom.

Shegavemeawink,andthatwasallI

needed.

287/467

JosieandNeenafollowedmedowntheaisle

ofthechurch,holdingmycapesoitdidn’t

dragacrossthefloor.AsIwalked,Ilookedatthesignetringonmyfinger,theIlléancrestgleaminginthecenter.Dadalreadytrusted

meinthisrole.Hewasalreadydelighted

withthewayIwashandlingit.Thiswasjust

makingeverythingofficial.

IcaughttheeyesofasmanypeopleasI

could,hopingtoconveymygratitude.Atthe

headofthechurch,Ikneltonthelittlerestingstool,feelingtheweightofmydress

fannedoutbehindme.Thebishoptookthe

ceremonialcrownandhelditabovemyhead.

“Areyou,EadlynSchreave,willingtotake

thisoath?”

“Iamwilling.”

“Doyouvowtoupholdthelawsandhonor

ofIlléaallthedaysofyourlife,governing

yourpeopleaccordingtotheirtraditionsand

customs?”

“Ido.”

288/467

“Anddoyouvowtoprotecttheinterestsof

Illéa,bothathomeandabroad?”

“Ido.”

“Anddoyouvowtouseyourpowerand

placementtobringmercyandjusticeforall

Illéa’speople?”

“Ido.”

Itfeltappropriatethatvowstoacountry

requiredfouraffirmations,whereasvowsto

anotherpersononlyrequiredone.Withmy

finalwordsspoken,thebishopsetthecrown

onmyhead.Iroseandturnedtofacemy

people,mycapelookingratherbeautiful

curleduparoundmyfeetlikeacat.Thebish-

opplacedthescepterinmylefthandandthe

orbinmyright.

Therewasaloudknockofastaffonthe

floor,andthepeoplearoundmeshouted,

“Godsavethequeen.”

AndIfeltathrillinmychesttoknow

thosewordsweremeantforme.

“OSTEN,FORGOODNESS’SAKE,STANDup,”Mom

ordered.

“Butit’ssohot,”hecomplainedaswe

beganwhatwouldbeamarathonphoto

session.

Dadsteppedaroundme.“Youcanpullit

togetherforfiveminutesofpictures,son.”

Ahrenlaughed.“Oh,I’vemissedyouall.”

Iswattedhim.“I’msogladnoone’sactu-

allyfilmingthis.”

290/467

“Okay,okay.We’reallready,”Dadcalled

tothephotographer.HeandMomposedbe-

hindme,theirarmsonthebackofmychair.

OstenandAhrenkneltoneithersideofme,

whileKadenstoodwithonehandbehindhis

back,almostchallengingmeforthemost

regal-lookingfamilymemberoftheday.

Thephotographersnappedshotaftershot

untilhewassatisfied.“Andwho’snext?”

Weallstayedwherewewere,pullingCa-

milleintothepicture.Then,sowewould

haveapictureofthewholefamily,eachof

theEliteboyswasrotatedthroughthe

portrait.

Thenitwasapictureofmewiththe

Legers,thenonewitheachmemberofthe

advisoryboard,includingLadyBrice,who

bypassedthetraditionallystiffposeand

huggedmetightlyinstead.“I’msoproud!”

shekeptsaying.“Justso,soproud!”Then,ofcourse,wehadtogetashotwiththeentire

Woodworkfamily.

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Josiewalkedupasfastasshecould,pla-

cingherselfsoshewaspracticallyfrontand

center.IshookmyheadasMissMarleegave

meabighug.

“I’msohappyforyou,honey.You’ve

grownupsofast.”

Ilaughed.“Thankyou,MissMarlee.I’m

gladyoucouldallbeheretoday.”

Mr.Woodworksmiled.“Asifwe’dmissit.

Congratulations.”

MissMarleestillheldmyhands.“These

pastfewmonths,seeingyouascend,and

watchingyouandKilebecomesoclose,have

beenwonderful.”

Ismiled.“Honestly,it’shardtoimagineus

notbeingfriendsnow.Ican’tbelieveittookusthislongtoactuallygettoknoweach

other.”

“It’sfunnyhowthatworks,”MissMarlee

replied.“ItseemslikeashameyouandJosie

havehardlygottentospendanytime

together.”

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“What?”Josiesaid,abletohearhername

ifitwassomuchastappedoutinMorse

codeonadifferentcontinent.

“Itmightbegoodforyoutodomoreto-

gether.”MissMarleelookedbetweenthetwo

ofus,glowingwithjoy.

“Yeah!Wetotallyshould!”Josiesquealed.

“AndI’dloveto,”Ilied.“ButnowthatI’m

queen,I’mafraidmyfreetimewillbevery

limited.”

Momsmiledknowinglybehindherfriend.

IcouldtellsherealizedexactlywhatIwas

tryingtodo.

MissMarleefrowned.“True.Oh,Iknow!

Whydon’tyouhaveJosieshadowyoufora

fewdays?She’salwayshadadeepinterestin

thelifeofaprincess.Nowshecanstudya

queen!”

“That.Wouldbe.Amazing!”Josiegrabbed

myhand,andtomycredit,Ididn’tjerkit

away.

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Witheveryonewaitingformetospeakand

mymother’seyeswarningmethat,queenor

not,I’dbetternotdisappointherclosest

friend,Ididn’thaveachoice.

“Sure.Josiecanshadowme.Thatwillbe

…great.”

Josiedancedbacktoherspot,andIeyed

Kile,whowasdoinghisbestnottolaughat

mynewestpredicament.Hisamusement

mademesmile,andIfeltconfidentthatI’d

atleastlookhappyinthepictures.

Finallyitwastimefortheindividualpor-

traitswiththeElite.Istoodinmycoronationgownastheywereeachcycledontotheset.

Foxwasfirst,andhelookedsharpinhis

dark-graysuit.“Okay,sowhatdoIdo?”he

asked.“Inthefamilypicture,Iputmyarms

bymyside;butIfeellikeIshould,Idon’t

know,holdyourhandorsomething.”

Thephotographercalledout,“Yes,that’s

good,”asFoxtookmyhandinhis.He

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steppedalittlecloser,andwesmiledas

clicksflashedthroughinquicksuccession.

Eansaunteredovernext,lookingquite

pleased.

“Stunning,

Eadlyn.

Absolutely

stunning.”

“Thanks.Youdon’tlooksobadyourself.”

“True,”hesaid,smirking.“Verytrue.”

Hepositionedhimselfbehindme.“I

haven’tgottentothankyouyet.Bothfor

yourpardonandyourdiscretion.”

“YouandIalwaysgotbyonminimalcom-

munication.Iknewyouwerethankful.”

“I’dbeenpreparingmyselfforalifeofdis-

appointment,”headmitted,histonethe

closesttonervousnessI’deverheardit.“To

considerthatanythingelseispossiblefeels

unreal.I’mnotquitesurehowtomove

forward.”

“Justlive.”

Eansmiledatme,kissedmyforehead,and

movedtotheside.

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AfterEanitwasKile’sturn,andhe

barreledacrosstheset,makingmescream

whenhescoopedmeupandspunme

around.

“Putmedown!”

“Why?Becauseyou’requeen?I’llneeda

betterreasonthanthat.”

Hefinallystopped,facingthecamera,and

Iknewwewerebothgrinninglikeidiots.

Thesepictureswouldbeacompletelydiffer-

entkindofspectacular.

“Inearlykilledmyselfsteppingonthat

cape,”hesaid.“Fashionisdeadly.”

“Don’tsaythattoHale,”Icommented.

“Saywhattome?”Halesaidasthey

switchedplaces.

“Thatfashioncankill.”Kilestraightened

hissuitashewalked.

“Herscould.Youlookamazing,”hesaid,

embracingme.

“Thankssomuchforyourhelpthismorn-

ing.Everythingheldtogether.”

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“Ofcourseitdid.Didyoudoubtmy

skills?”heteased.

“Never.”

Istoodbacksowecouldtakeafewpic-

tureswithourfacesshowing,thoughI

couldn’twaittoseetheonesofus

embracing.

FinallyitwasHenri’sturn,andhissmile

alonewasenoughtomakethislongdayfeel

short.Hestoppedafewstepsawayfromme

andtookadeepbreath.

“Youarelookverybeautiful.Iamhappy

foryou.”

Myhandflewtomymouth,somoved.

“Henri.Thankyou!Thankyousomuch!”

Heshrugged.“Itrying.”

“You’redoinggreat.Really.”

Henoddedandcameovertome,gently

turningmeawayfromhim.Thenhewalked

aroundtomovemycapesoitfluttered

aroundfrombehindme,andhecametothe

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otherside,placinghishandsonmywaist,

standingproudlyjustovermyshoulder.

Itwasclearhehadputalotofthoughtin-

tohowhewantedtobeperceivedinthispor-

trait,andIadmiredthat.Whenthephoto-

grapherwasdone,Henribegantowalk

away,thenpaused.

“Umm,entäErik?”hesaid,pointingtohisfriend.

Kilecaughtonandwasinfullagreement.

“Yeah,Erik’sbeenthroughthis,too.He

needstogetupthere.”

Eriksimplyshookhishead.“No,I’mfine.

It’sfine.”

“Goon,man,it’sjustapicture.”Kile

pushedhimalittle,buthestilldidn’tmove.

Partofmeworriedthatsomehow,every-

onewouldbeabletohearmypulsebeating

outhisnameifhegotanycloser.ButashardasI’dworkedtoavoidhimthelastfewdays,

itwasjustaschallengingnottoruntohim

now.

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Iwalkedovertohim.Andwhenhereal-

izedIwasonmyway,hisgazeflewupto

mine.Inaninstant,everythingintheroom

camealive.Likethesunshinehadamelody

andthesoundsoffootstepshadatextureI

couldfeelinmyfingertipseachtimeanyone

moved.

TheworldwokeupwhenIlookedathim.

IstoppedinfrontofErik,hopingIdidn’t

lookasdazzledasIfelt.“I’mnotcommand-

ing.I’masking.”

Hesighed.“Thatmakesitathousand

timesworse.”Smiling,heputhishandin

mine,butbeforeIcouldpullhimontothe

stage,helookeddownathimself.Assoonas

theceremonyhadended,he’dtakenoffhis

suitjacketandwasnowonlywearingavest

andtie.“NowI’munderdressed,”he

lamented.

Isighedandunbuttonedthesnapsholding

thecapetomydress.ThesecondIheldit

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out,Halecametocarefullytakeitaway.

“Doesthathelp?”

“No.”Heswallowed.“Butifyoutrulywant

this…”

“Ido.”Itiltedmyheadandplayfullybat-

tedmylashes.

Helaughed,clearlyrealizinghewasde-

feated.“WhatdoIdo?”

“Okay.”Igrinned,steppingcloser.“Put

thishandhere,”Isaid,placingthefrontoneonmywaist.“Andthisonehere,”pullingthe

otheruptomyshoulder.Iputonehandon

hischestandtheotherloopedbehindhis

arm,andwestoodthereinalooseembrace.

“Nowsmileatthecamera.”

“Allright,”hesaid.

Withmyhandonhischest,Icouldfeelhis

heartpounding.“Calmdown,”Isaidquietly.

“Pretendit’sjustyouandme.”

“Ican’t.”

“Then,Idon’tknow,saysomethingin

Finnish.”

300/467

Hechuckledtohimselfandwhispered,

“Vainkoskapyysit,hauskanainen.”ThoughIcouldn’tunderstandthewordshecontinuedtomurmur,IknewIwouldneverbeable

toforgethistone.Withoutlookingupathim,Icouldhearhissmile,whichonlymademine

brighter.Ihadtoremindmyselftobreathe,Iwassobusylisteningtohim.Iknewinmy

heartthesewereimportantwords.AndI

couldn’trecognizeasingleone.

“Thatwasagoodone,”thephotographer

said,andalmostinstantlyErikdroppedhis

hands.

“See?Wasthatsoawful?”Iasked.

“Ithoughtitwouldbemuch,much

harder,”heconfessed,andtherewas

somethingfunnyinhisvoice,likeI’dmissed

adetail.

Icouldhearitagain,therattattatofmyfoolishheart.Iswallowed,ignoringitand

turninginsteadtothefootstepsechoingas

theyenteredthehall.

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“Marid,”Icalledingreeting.

“I’msorrytointrude,butIcouldn’thelp

myself.IsthereanywayIcouldgetanoffi-

cialpicturewithmynewqueen?”Marid

asked.

“Ofcourse.”Iextendedahand,andhe

walkedover,happilytakingit.

“Thecountryisabuzz,”hetoldme.“Idon’t

knowifyou’vebeenhearingreportstoday,

butthecoverageisverypositive.”

“Ihaven’thadasecondtopauseandlook,”

Iconfessedasheheldbothofmyhandsaf-

fectionatelyandfacedthecamera.

“Noneed.Youhavepeopleatyourbeck

andcalltoreportitalllater.I’mjusthappytobethefirsttotellyouthatyourinauguraldayisgoingbeautifully.”

Hesqueezedmyhand,andIsighed,think-

ingthatmaybe,finally,itwasallcoming

together.

IDRANKCHAMPAGNEANDLAUGHEDtooloudly

andatehalfmybodyweightinchocolate.

Justforafewhours,IwantedtorevelintheridiculousopulenceI’dalwaystakenfor

granted.TomorrowIwouldsipwaterandget

myheadstraight.TomorrowIwouldworry

abouthowtokeepmycountrytogether.To-

morrowIwouldthinkabouthusbands.

Buttonight?TonightIwasgoingtobask

inthisperfect,sparklingmoment.

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“Onemoredance?”Ahrenasked,catching

memid-sipinwhatIsworewasmylast

drink.“Ihaveaflighttocatch,butIwantedtosaygood-bye.”

Istood,takinghishand.“I’lltakewhatever

good-byeIcanget.Anythingwillbebetter

thanlasttime.”

“I’mstillsorryaboutthat,butyouknow

whyIcouldn’t.”

Welockedform,andhespunmearound

theroom.“Ido.Thatdidn’tmakeitanyeasi-

erthough.Addthattoeverythingelsethat’s

goingon,andlife’sbeenalittleharsh

withoutyouhere.”

“I’msorry.Butyou’redoingverywell,bet-

terthanyouthink,I’dwager.”

“We’llsee.Istillhavetoestablishmygov-

ernment,makesureMomandDadslow

down,andfindsomeonetomarryme.”

Heshrugged.“So,basicallynothing.”

“It’spracticallyavacation.”

304/467

Hechuckled.Oh,howIhadmissedthat

sound.“I’msorryifmyletterwasharsh.

MomandDadwantedtoprotectyou,butI

wasafraidthatnotknowingwhereyoustood

mightactuallycrippleyou.”

“Itwasn’teasytoread,butit’scomeup

againandagain.Ireallyshouldhaveknown.

IfIhadn’tbeensoself-centered—”

“Youweretryingtoshieldyourself,”he

saidquickly,cuttingmeoff.“Youaredoing

somethingnooneelseinthiscountryhas

everdone.Ofcourseyoufoundwaystomake

iteasier.”

Ishookmyhead.“Dadhasbeenex-

hausted.Momhasneversloweddown.You

wereinlove,andItriedtotalkyououtofit.

There’sawordforwhatIam,butI’mtoo

muchofaladytosayit.”

Helaughedoutloudatthat,andIcaught

severaleyeslookingourway,mostnotice-

ablyCamille’s.I’dwantedtobemadather,

thisgirlwho’ddoneeverythingIwastrying

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todobuttentimesbetter,thisgirlwho’d

takenawaymytwin.Butitwasclearhow

happyshewastoseeusreunited.

Istilldidn’tunderstandhowshe’d

masteredeverythingsoeasily,howshe

seemedtomaintainbeingaleaderandagirl

withouteffort.Iworriedthat,asperfectas

thisdaywas,itwouldn’tlast.

“Hey,”hesaid,notingtheworryinmy

eyes.“Itwillbefine.You’regoingtomakeitthroughthis.”

Ifixedmyface,tryingtofindthemagic

thathadbeenrunningthroughmyveinsonly

momentsago.Iwasthenewqueen;it

wouldn’tdoformetobesadontodayofall

days.“Iknow.I’mjustnotsurehow.”

Thesongcametoaclose,andAhren

boweddeeply.“YoumustcometoParisfor

NewYear’s.”

“Andyouhavetocomebackforournext

birthday,”Iinsisted.

“ThenyouhavetohoneymooninFrance.”

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“Notunlessyoucomebackhereforthe

wedding.”

Heheldoutahand.“Deal.”

Weshookonit,andmyprecioustwin

pulledmecloseforahug.“Iwasmourning

fordays,thinkingyou’dneverforgivemefor

leaving.Thefactthatyou’renotmadatall

makesgoingthatmuchharder.”

“Youhavetocall.AndnotjustMomand

Dad,youhavetocallme.”

“Iwill.”

“Iloveyou,Ahren.”

“Iloveyou,YourMajesty.”

Ilaughed,andwebothtookamomentto

dabatoureyes.

“Speakingofthatwedding,”hestarted,

“anyideawhoyourgroomwillbe?”

Wesurveyedtheroom.TheElitewereeasy

tospotwiththeircrispsuitsandties,as

handsomeasanyofthevisitingroyalty.I’d

watchedthemallnight,addingtheir

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behaviortothepilesofinformationIhad

aboutthem.

Kilehadgraciouslyentertainedmostofthe

youngerguests,andFoxhadshakensomany

handsIcaughthimmassaginghiswristsat

onepoint.ThoughEanandHalewereoutof

therunning,I’doverheardthembothgiving

glowingcommentariesaboutmycharacterto

thepress,goingaboveandbeyondanything

I’dhopedfor.AndthentherewasHenri.He

haddonehisbestwithErikathisside,help-

inghimthroughconversations,butasI

watchedhimstudyingthepartygoersfrom

hisseat,itwasclearhe’dhadaroughtime.

“I’vegonebackandforthafewtimes.It’s

hardtoknowforsurewhotherightchoiceis.

Ijustwanttodowhat’sbestforeveryone.”

“Includingyou?”

Ismiled,unabletoanswer.

“Ifthere’sonethingIhopemyleaving

homeproves,”hesaidseriously,“it’sthat

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youhavetodowhateverittakestobewith

thepersonyoulove.”

Love.Likeclothes,Ihadguesseditwas

somethingthatfitnotwopeopleexactlythe

sameway.Iwasstillunsurewhattheword

lookedlikeforme,butIsensedthat,sooner

ratherthanlater,itwouldbefullydefined.

AllthatremainedtobeseenwasifIcouldbesatisfiedwiththedefinition.

“I’mtellingyou,Eady,warsandtreaties

andevencountrieswillallcomeandgo.But

yourlifeisyours,singularandsacred,and

youshouldbewiththepersonwhomakesit

feelthatwayeveryblessedsecondyoulive

it.”

Ilookeddown,studyingmygown,feeling

theweightofthecrownonmyhead.Yes,my

lifewassingularandsacred,butfromthe

momentofmybirth—ameresevenminutes

beforehis—ithadbelongedtoanyonebut

me.

“Thankyou,Ahren.I’llrememberthat.”

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“Pleasedo.”

Iputmyhandonhisshoulder.“Gofind

yourwife.Besafegettinghome,andletus

knowwhenyouland,okay?”

Hetookmyhandfromhissleeveand

kissedit.“Bye,Eady.”

“Bye.”

ThoughIwasgettingtired,Iknewit

wasn’tyettimeformetosneakaway.One

lastlap,Itoldmyself.I’dshakehands,givetwoorthreeinterviews,andduckoutthe

sidedoor.

Somanysmilesandhugs,somanywell

wishesandpromisestobeincontactsoon.It

cycledenergythroughmealmostasquickly

asitsuckeditbackout.AsIroundedthe

cornerwhereEanwasspeakingwithafew

peoplewhohadwonthelotterytocometo

the

coronation,

another

waltz

started

playing.

“Oh,adance!”ayounggirlpleaded.I

thoughtshemeantshewantedEantodance

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withher,butshenudgedhiminmydirec-

tion,andhewasonlytoohappytoescortme

ontothefloor.

AfterafewturnsIhadtoask,“Howlong

haveyoulikedHale?”

Hesmiled.“Fromthemomentwewere

gettingpreppedtomeetyou.Hejustlooked

sohappy,tothepointofbeingcartoonish.Itwasendearing.”

“Itisendearing,”Iagreed.

“I’msorryIliedtoyou.Iwasplanningon

takingthistomygrave.”

“Andnow?”

Heshrugged.“I’mnotsure.ButHale’sso

damnedinsistentonbeingtruetoyourself

that,attheveryleast,Iwouldn’ttrytousesomeonelikeascreentohideit,thewayI

triedtowithyou.It’snotfairtoanyone.”

“It’shardtobefairtoyourselfsometimes,

isn’tit?”

311/467

Henodded.“Iwouldn’tcompareourcir-

cumstancesthough.Intheend,noonecares

aboutme,andeveryonecaresaboutyou.”

“Don’tbesilly.Icareaboutyou.Icared

abouttheswaggeringsnobwhointroduced

himselfthatveryfirstday.”Helaughed,

thinkingback.Someofthatveneerhad

slippedaway.Notallofit,butIknewhow

harditwastoletwallsdown.“AndIcare

aboutthisnervous,gentlepersoninfrontof

menow.”

Eanwasnotthetypetocry.Hedidn’t

swalloworblinkorgiveanyofthetypical

signs,butIsensedthatifhe’deverbeen

closetosheddingatear,itwasrightnow.

“I’msogladIgettoseeyoubequeen.

Thankyou,YourMajesty.Foreverything.”

“Anytime.”

Thesongcametoaclose,andwebowed

ourheadstoeachother.

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“IsitallrightifIleaveinthemorning?”heasked.“I’dliketohavesometimewithmy

family.Totalk.”

“Ofcourse.Stayintouch.”

Henoddedandcrossedtheroom,readyto

beginhisnewlife.

I’ddoneit.I’dmadeitthroughtheday

withoutdoinganythinghumiliating,noone

hadprotested,andIwasstillstanding.Itwasover,andIcouldescapetothepeaceand

quietofmyroom.

AndthenwhenIwasabouttohittheside

door,IsawMaridspeakinginfrontofa

camera.

Helookedatmeandlituplikeafirework,

wavingmeovertojoininhisinterview.And

whileeverythinginmewantedtogoand

rest,hissmilewassocharmingthatIwenttohisside.

“HERESHEIS,THELADYofthehour,”hesaid,

wrappinganarmaroundmeastheinter-

viewergiggled.

“YourMajesty,howareyoufeeling?”she

asked,pointingthemicrophoneatmyface.

“AmIallowedtosaytired?”Ijoked.“No,

it’sbeenanincredibleday,andwithsomany

distressingthingshappeninginourcountry

recently,Icertainlyhopetodaywilllift

everyone’sspirits.AndI’mveryexcitedtoget

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towork.Thankstothewonderfulyoungmen

intheSelectionandfriends,likeMr.Illéa

here,I’vegottentoknowsomuchmore

aboutmypeople.I’mhopingwe’llbeableto

findwaystohearandaddressneedsmuch

moreefficiently.”

“Canyougiveusanyhintsatwhatyou’re

planningtodo?”sheaskedeagerly.

“Well,Ithinkourtownhallmeeting,

whichwascompletelyMarid’sidea,”Isaid,

gesturingtohim,“startedoffabitrockybutwasultimatelyveryinformative.AndSir

Woodworkactuallyhadaninterestingpro-

posalrecentlyaboutgivingcitizensamuch

easierwaytopetitionthecrown.Ican’tsay

toomuchaboutitatthemoment,butitwas

incrediblyinspired.”

“Speakingofproposals,”shesaidex-

citedly,“anynewsonthatfront?”

Ilaughed.“Letmegetthroughmyfirst

weekasqueenandthenI’llturnmyfocus

backtodating.”

315/467

“Fairenough.Andwhataboutyou,sir?

Anywordsofadviceforournewqueen?”

IturnedtofaceMarid,whoshruggedand

duckedhishead.“Ijustwishheralltheluckwithherreign,andfinishingherSelection.

Theguywhowinsherheartwillbeluckier

thanheknows.”

Maridswallowed,seemingtohaveahard

timemeetingtheinterviewer’seyesagain.

Shenoddedheartily.“Hecertainlywill.”

Sheturnedtothecameraandsignedoff,her

attentionnolongeronus.

ItookMarid’sarmandswunghimaround,

movingusoutofearshot.“Idon’twanttobe

rudeafterallthekindnessyou’veshownme,

butbehavinglikethatisinappropriate.”

“Likewhat?”heasked.

“LikeyouandImighthavebeen

somethingifonlytheSelectionhadn’t

happened.ThisisthethirdtimeIknowof

thatyou’vesaidsomethinglikethat,butI

haven’tevenseenyouinyears.Iamdutyand

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honorboundtomarryoneofmycandidates,

soactingwoundedwhenwe’vehadabso-

lutelynothingtogetherisunacceptable.I

mustinsistthatyoustopitatonce.”

“AndwhywouldIdothat?”hesaid,his

voicebecomingslick.

“Excuseme?”

“Ifyourfamilyhadbeenpayingtheslight-

estbitofattentiontoyourpeople,youmighthavelearnedbynowthatwhenitcomesto

thepublic,Ihaveanincrediblypowerful

voice.Theytreasureme.Youshouldseethe

pilesoffanmailIreceive.Noteveryone

thinkstheSchreavelineisthevalidone.”

Ifroze,terrifiedthattherewastruthto

whathewassaying.

“Youowemealot,Eadlyn.I’vekeptyou

lookinggoodinpapersandspokenwellof

youininterviews,andIsavedthattownhall

meeting.Ididthat,notyou.”

“Icouldhave—”

317/467

“No,youcouldn’t.Andthat’stheproblem.

Youcan’tdothisjobalone.It’snearlyim-

possible,whichiswhyyougettingmarriedis

awonderfulidea.Onlyyou’relookinginthe

wrongplace.”

Iwastoostunnedtospeak.

“And,let’sbehonest:ifanyofthoseboys

werethatexcitedaboutyou,wouldn’ttheybe

swarmingaroundyouthisverysecond?

Fromtheoutsidelookingin,they’reall

indifferent.”

Myshockturnedtoanguish.Ilooked

aroundtheroom.Hewasright.Noneofthe

Eliteseemedremotelyawareofmypresence.

“Inthemeantime,ifyouunitewithme,

theIlléa-Schreavelinewillbecompletelyse-

cure.Noonewoulddarequestionyourright

toruleifyouweremywife.”

Theroomswayedalittle,andIfoughtto

keepmyselftogetherashewenton.“And

youcancheckthefiguresifyoulike,butas

faraspublicopiniongoes,myapproval

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ratingistwicewhatyoursis.Icouldelevateyoufromtoleratedtoadoredovernight.”

“Marid,”Isaid,hatingthatmyvoicesoun-

dedsoweak.“Thisisn’tpossible.”

“Butitis.Andeitheryoucanendthis

Selectiononyourown,orIcandroprumors

aboutustothepointthatnoonetakesitseriouslyanyway.BythetimeI’mdone,youwill

lookmoreheartlessthantheyalreadythink

youare.”

Istraightenedmyback.“Iwillruinyou,”I

vowed.

“Tryit.Seehowfasttheyturnonyou.”He

kissedmycheek.“Youhavemynumber.”

Maridwalkedaway,casuallyshaking

handswiththosehepassedasifhewas

alreadyamemberoftheroyalfamily.While

alleyesseemedtofollowhim,Iquietly

duckedoutoftheroom.

Iwasafool.I’dthoughtthatHalecared

aboutme,thatEanwasheretosupportme,

andIcouldn’thavebeenmoremistaken.I’d

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beenwrongtotrustBurkeandJackand

Baden.I’dbeenpositiveMaridwashereto

helpme,andhe’donlybeentryingtoset

himselfonthethrone.Myinstinctswere

wrongateveryturn,andsuddenlyitseemed

asthoughthepeoplearoundmewerenoth-

ingbutfakes.

WasImistakenaboutanyoneelse?WasI

wrongtotrustNeenaorLadyBrice?Was

KilenotthefriendIthoughthewas?CouldI

trustwhatIfeltorthoughtaboutanyone?

Ileanedagainstthewall,onthevergeof

tears.Iwasthequeen.Noonewasaspower-

fulasme.AndyetI’dneverfeltmore

helpless.

Anotherfigurecameoutofthedoorway,

andbeforeIcouldduckfartheroutofsight,

Erik’sfacecameintoview.

“YourMajesty,I’msorry.Iwasjustescap-

ingthecrowds.Itwasalittletoomuchfor

meinthere.”

Ididn’tanswer.

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“Seemstohavebeenabittoomuchfor

youaswell,”headdedcautiously.

Istaredatthefloor.

“YourMajesty?”Hemovedcloser,whis-

pering,“CanIhelpyou?”

Istaredintothosewildlyblueeyesand

abandonedalltheworriesinmyhead.My

heartsaid,Run.SoIgrabbedhishandanddidjustthat.

Itoredownthehallway,lookingbackonce

tomakesurenoonewasfollowing.

AsIhoped,theWomen’sRoomwas

empty.Leavingthelightsoff,Ipulledus

closertothewindow,soatleastI’dhavethemoontohelpmesee.

“Attheriskofmakinganevenbiggerfool

outofmyselfthanIalreadyhave,canyou

pleaseanswersomethingforme?Andyou

absolutelymustbehonesthere.Igiveyou

permissiontohurtmyfeelings.Ihavetoknow.”

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Afteralongmomenthenodded,though

hisexpressiontoldmehewasterrifiedof

whatmightcome.

“Isthereachancethatyoufeelformethe

wayIfeelforyou?Ifyou’vefeltevenafractionofthisriotthat’sbeenhappeninginmy

heart,Ineedtoknow.”

Erikletoutabreath,seemingstunnedand

sadatonce.“YourMajesty,I—”

“No!”Isaid,rippingthecrownoffmyhead

andflingingitacrosstheroom.“Not

Majesty.Eadlyn.I’mjustEadlyn.”

Hesmiled.“YouarealwaysjustEadlyn.

Andyouarealwaysthequeen.Youare

everythingtoeveryone.Andinfinitelymore

tome.”

Iplacedahandonhischestandcouldfeel

hisheartpoundingintimewithmine.He

suddenlyseemedawareofhowdesperateI

wasandwordlesslycuppedmycheekinhis

palmandleaneddowntokissme.

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Everymomentwe’deverhadtogether

dancedthroughmyhead.Hisawkward

stancethedaywefirstmet,andhowIscol-

dedhimbeforetheparadeforbitinghis

nails.Thewayheprotectedmewhenthe

fightbrokeoutinthekitchen,andhowmy

eyesflittedtohimoverandoverwhenthe

boysweredeepinprayeroutsidethehospital

wing.And,mostastonishingly,themoment

intheWomen’sRoomwhenCamilleasked

whofilledmyhead,andhowhardIfoughtto

stopmyselffromsayinghisnameoutloud

thenandthere.

Allofit,everymagical,forbiddensecond

burnedthroughmeaswecontinuedour

dangerouslytreasonouskiss.Whenwefi-

nallybrokeapart,Iwasintears,positivethatAhrenleavingandthefearoflosingmy

motherhadbeenpainlessincomparisonto

this.

Heshookhishead,stillholdingontome.

“OfcoursetheonetimeIletmyselffallin

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love,

it’s

with

someone

in

another

stratosphere.”

Idugmyfingersintohisshirt,hisvest,so

angrythatIcouldn’tholdontoitforever.

“ThiswillbethefirsttimeinmylifeIhaven’tbeenabletohavesomethingItrulywanted.

It’ssocruelthatithappenstobeyou.”

Heswallowed.“Itreallyisimpossible

then?”

Myfacefell.Ididn’twanttosaythewords.

“I’mafraidso.Insomanywaysnow.Ican

hardlygraspitalltoexplain,buteverythingjustgotmuchmorecomplicatedforme.”

“Youdon’towemeanexplanation.I

alreadyknew.Imadethemistakeofletting

myselfhopeforamoment.That’sall.”

“I’msosorry,”Iwhispered,droppingmy

gaze.“IfIthoughtIcouldcancelthiswhole

thing,Iwould.Butitwouldbeseenasone

moremistakeontopofalltheotherselfish,

stupidthingsI’vedone.”

324/467

Usinghisotherhand,hegentlyliftedmy

chin.“Pleasedon’tspeakthatwayaboutthe

womanIlove.”

Mysmilewasweak.“I’vebeensounfairto

you.Itwaseatingmealive,allthewonder-

ing,butmaybewewouldhavebeenbetteroff

ifwe’dneverknown.”

“No,”hesaid,somehowabletofindcom-

fortinthemiddleofusbeingtornapart.

“Thereisnoshameinlovingwhoyoulove,

andthereisgreathonorindoingwhatis

right.It’sapitythosetwothingsdon’toverlapforus,butthatmakesthismomentno

lessimportanttome.”

“Ortome.”

Heheldmyhandsotenderly,stillseeming

shockedthathehadthecouragetodoitat

all.

“Ishouldgetback,”hesaid.“I’dhateto

causeascandal.”

Isighed.“You’reright.”AndstillIcouldn’tquiteletgo.Istoodpressingmyselftohim.

325/467

“I’mnotengagedyet,”Iwhispered.“Would

youmeetmetomorrownight?”

Itwasimpossiblenottoseeallthegears

turninginhishead.Itwasalsoeasytosee

themomentwhenhestoppedthinkingand

noddedyesanyway.

“I’llgetwordtoyou.Leavenow,andI’ll

makemywayoutinafewminutes.”

Erikgavemeonelasthurriedkissand

dashedbackintothehall.Meanwhile,Ire-

trievedmycrownandwalkedovertothe

hiddenpanelbehindthebookcase.Iwanted

tobesurenoonewouldfindmetonight.

TherewerenomorerebelsinIlléa,no

threatslikethattorunawayfrom.Butthere

werestilldozensofsecretpassagesinthe

palace,andIkneweverysingleone.

“GOODMORNING,YOURMAJESTY,”LADYBrice

greetedmeasIwalkedintotheoffice.Typic-

ally,I’dbeenabletosleepinonSundays,buttherewasnowayIcouldspendmyfirstday

asqueeninbed,especiallynotaftertheway

thingsendedlastnight.

Isighed,bothtiredandthrilled.“Ihearditamilliontimesyesterday,butitstillfeels

strangetoanswertothattitle.”

327/467

“You’llhavedecadestogetusedtoit,”she

repliedwithasmile.

“Speakingofthat,Ineedtospeakwithyou

abouttheSelection,andmyreign,andan

unexpectedcomplication.”

“Complication?”

“Canyoutellmesomething?Howpopular

isMarid?”

LadyBricewhistled.“He’smadequitea

nameforhimselfoverthelastfewyears.He’sfrequentlyinterviewedontheradio,andhe’s

sohandsomeandcomesfromsuchawell-

knownfamilythatheendsupinalotofprintmediaaswell.Plentyofpeoplelistenwhen

hespeaks.Fortunatehedecidedtoturnup

whenhedid,huh?”

BeforeIcouldexplainwhathadhappened

lastnight,Iheardthedooropenbehindme,

andJosieburstintotheroom.

“Hey!HopeI’mnotlate!”sheexclaimed.

328/467

Iclosedmyeyesinfrustration.Icom-

pletelyforgotshewassupposedtostart

shadowingmetoday.

“CanIhelpyou?”LadyBriceasked.

“Oh,I’mheretohelpyou,”shean-

nounced.“I’mshadowingEadlyntoday.

Maybelonger,ifthisgoeswell.”

“MissMarleesuggesteditduringthefam-

ilyphotosessionyesterday,”Isaidquickly.

LadyBricenodded,anditwasatthismo-

mentthatNeenaenteredtheofficeaswell.

ThoughIwasn’tsurehowcomfortableIwas

sharingeverythinginfrontofJosie,it

seemedIhadnochoice.

“Okay,”Ibeganslowly,“wehaveaprob-

lem.AndhisnameisMaridIlléa.”

“Really?”Neenaasked.“He’sseemedhelp-

fulsofar.”

“Yes,thatwashowhemeantittolook.

But,intruth,hisgoalhasalwaysbeentotakethecrown.”Iswallowed,feelingstupidall

overagain.“LastnightIcalledhimoutfor

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encouragingthepresstothinkthatwewere

morethanfriends,andhemadeitclearthat

hewasplanningtopursuethisangleuntil

thepublicwoulddemandthatImarryhim.”

LadyBriceputherheadinherhands.“I

knewhecouldunderminethiswholething.I

knewit.Weshouldhavesquashedthe

rumors.”

Ishookmyhead.“Thisisn’tyourfault.

Yougavemetheopportunityearlyon,andI

didn’ttakeit.Ijustneverthoughthe’dtrytowormhiswayintothepalaceasapermanent

fixture.”

“It’ssosneaky,”LadyBricesaid,balling

herhandsintofists.“Hisparentsthrewrocksandstormedthepalace.Allhehastodois

makeafewproperlytimedspeeches,and

he’sinwithoutlookingremotelyaggressive.”

“Exactly.AndI’m…I’mscared.Ifhe

swaysthepeopletobelieveheshouldbemy

princeconsort,they’llcomeafterthemon-

archy.They’vebeenontheedgeofrevoltfor

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awhile,andnowthatI’mqueen,there’s

nothingtostopthepeoplewhoheldoutfor

myfather’ssake.Butifweconcede,andhe’s

here…ifhecouldliethateasilyjusttogetneartome…”

“Whatwouldhedowhenheseeshe

doesn’tneedyouanymore?”LadyBricesaid

somberly.

I’dalreadypicturedadozendifferentscen-

arios.He’dsayIslippeddownthestairs,or

fellasleepinthebath,orthattheSinger

geneshadgottentomyheart,too.Ididn’t

wanttothinkofMaridaspurelyevil,butI

understoodthathewasoutforpowerand

hadnoregardforme.

ItwaspossibleIwasbeingparanoid,I

knewthat.Butafterhavingmissedsomany

thingsinthelastfewmonths,thingsthat

shouldhaveforcedmetobecareful,tospeak

up,todosomething,nowwasn’tthetimeto

assumethingswouldbefine.

331/467

“Thenwehavetosilencehim.Whatdowe

do?”Neenaasked.

“Whydoyouneedtodoanything?”Josie

asked.Weallturned,andhersmilefaded

undertheweightofourstares.“Imean,

you’rethequeen.Youcouldjustkillhimif

youwanted.Ifhewasbeingatraitor,right?”

“Ifheactslikeatraitor,yes.Butwhenit

seemslikehe’sinlovewithmeandIdecide

tohanghim,howdoesthatmakemelook?”

Shesquinted,takingthatin.“Awful.”

“Worsethanawful.Andmyapprovalis

hangingonbyathreadasitis.Ican’thave

himkilled.Idon’teventhinkIcanpublicly

sayIhavenointerestinhimnow,not

withoutbacklash.”

“Thenwhat?”LadyBriceasked.

“Thisdoesn’tleavetheroom.Doesevery-

oneunderstand?”IstaredatJosie,hoping

sheunderstoodtheimportanceofsecrecy.

“First,wewillignoreMarid.He’snotallowedinthepalace,andifhecalls,noonespeaksto

332/467

him.He’scompletelyshutoutofmypres-

encefromhereonout.Wecan’tgivethe

presssomuchasawhispertodrawfrom.”

“Agreed,”LadyBricecommented.

“Second,I’vemappedouthowthenextfew

weekswillgointermsoftheSelection.Ean

isheadinghomethismorning.Wespokelast

night,andhe’sreadytogo.Earlynextweek

Halewillbeleavingaswell.”

Neenamadeaface.“I’msadtoseeHale

go.”

“Me,too.Butthiswasamutualagree-

ment,soIassureyoutherearenohardfeel-

ingsoneitherside.”

“Thatmakesiteasier,”sheadmitted.“But

wait.Aren’tyousupposedtochoosewithin

fourdaysonceyougettoatopthree?”

“Yes.TheonlywaytobeatMaridathis

gameistochooseahusbandasquicklyas

possible.Andregardlessofhowdeeplyin

loveImayormaynotbe,ithastolookas

goodaswhatmyparentshave.Better,ifwe

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canmanageit.”Itookadeepbreath.“So

onceHaleisgone,we’llwaitafewdaysand

theneliminateFox.He’snice,butwedon’t

havearealconnection.ThatwillleaveKile

andHenriasthefinaltwo,andIintendtodoalivebroadcastinabouttwoweekstoannouncemyfiancé.”

“Twoweeks!”Neenagasped.“Eadlyn!”

“Iwillneedhelpwiththeperceptionof

this,”Iwenton.“Icheckedsomerecentpoll

numbers,andHaleandKilehavebeenfront-

runnersforawhile.I’lltakecareofmaking

surethatHale’sdecisiontogoisseenasne-

cessarysothepeoplewillbesatisfiedwith

hisdeparture,butweneedsomethingsensa-

tionalaboutHenri.Likethathebakesfor

peopleinnursinghomesorthathisfamilyis

descendedfromSwendishnobility.Evenif

youhavetostretchthetruth,doit.Gethim

tothefinaltwowitheveryone’sapproval.”

Noonespokeforamoment.

334/467

“DoyouevenloveKile?”Josieasked.For

onceherfacehadlostitsridiculouslyblank

look,andIsawthedeep,genuineconcernin

hereyes.

IthoughtofErik.Ofhimpromisingme

thatitwasworthit.Ofhowhe’dtreatedme

fromtheverystart.Ofhowhe’dkissedme.

Ofhowhe’dbegonesoon.

“I’dbehappywithKile.”

Certainlyleadersbeforemehadmade

muchbiggersacrifices,butLadyBrice,

Neena,andJosiealllookedasthoughIwas

marchingintodeath.

“Areyougoingtohelpmeornot?”I

demanded.

“I’llseewhatIcanfindoutaboutHenri,”

LadyBricesaid.“I’dprefertostartwiththeabsolutetruthfirst.”

“AswouldI.AndIfeelconfidentyou’llbe

abletofindsomethingforhim.He’ssucha

sweetheart.”

335/467

“Heis,”Neenaagreed.“AsisKile.You

coulddomuchworse.”

Yes,Ithought.ButIcouldalsodomuchbetter.

“Dowhatyouneedtogeteverythingin

placeforthis.I’mgoingtospendtherestofthedayworkingfrommyroom.Josie?”She

snappedtoattention.“Areyoucomingback

tomorrow,orwasthisenoughforyou?”

“Itwasmorethanenough,”shesaid,

swallowing.

“Notaword,youunderstand?”

Shenodded,butIcouldhardlybearto

lookather.Sheseemedsosadforme,andof

allpeople,Icouldn’tstandherpityingme.

ButwhenIlookedatNeenaandLadyBrice,

theirexpressionswerejustasbad.

IpulledmyselfupastallasIcouldandlefttheroom,rememberingthat,nomatter

what,Iwasstillqueen.

“WHATISTHISPLACE?”ERIKasked.I’ddonemy

besttomakeitcozy,sneakinginwithabas-

ketfullofcandlesandblanketsmidday,and

anotherfulloffoodwheneveryoneleftfor

dinner.

Eriksaidhewassick,IsaidIhadwork,

andwemetinaninconspicuousspotonthe

secondfloor.Oneoftheeasiestpassagesthatleddowntothemassivesaferoomwasby

mymother’soldbedroom,theoneshe’dhad

337/467

duringherSelection.Sometimesshetook

pilgrimagesthere,likeitwasthecalmest

placeforhertobeinthepalace.

“Backwhentherebelswereadeadly

threat,theroyalfamilyusedtoescapedown

here,”ItoldErikaswemadeourway

throughthepassage.“Butthisplacehasn’t

beenusedinwelloveradecade,andnowI

thinkitmaybethepalace’sbestkeptsecret.”

“Inotherwords,noone’sfindingus,”Erik

respondedwithasmile.

“Notifwedon’twantthemto.”

Hetookadeepbreath.“I’vefeltsoguilty

today,tornbetweenhowexcitedIwasabout

yourinvitationandhowguiltyIfeelsince

I’mnotevenachoice.”

Inodded,pullingplatesfromthebasket

andsettingthemontopoftheblankets.“I

know.I’vebeencursingtheSelectioninways

Ihaven’tsincemyparentsfirstmentionedit.

AndthenItakeitallback,becauseifithadneverhappened…”

338/467

Wesharedalonglook.Ibrokeitwitha

sigh,continuingtosetoutourcandlelit

picnic.

“Youknow,myfatherwasn’tsupposedto

marrymymother.”

“You’rekidding,”hesaid,joiningme.

“Apparentlymygrandfatherhadhand-

pickedthegirlswhocametocompete.He

onlythrewinthreeFivestoappeasethe

lowercastes,andhehatedMomfromthe

get-go.Ontopofthat,Ifoundoutmypar-

entsusedtoargueallthetime.”Ishrugged,

stillsurprisedbytheirrockyhistory.“Igrewupthinkingthattheywereafairytale,you

know?Itturnsouttheywerejustlikeanyone

else.Somehowthatmakesitevenmore

magical.”

Iletthewordshang,thinkingof

everythingIknewnow.

“Theyslowdancewhenitrains.Ihaveno

ideawhy,buteverytimetheskyturnsgray,

you’llfindthemtogether.”Ismiled.“I

339/467

rememberonceDadbargedintotheWo-

men’sRoom,whichiscompletelyimproper.

You’resupposedtobeinvitedin.Butitwas

raining,andhewasn’tgoingtowaittosweep

heraway.Andonetimehedippedherinthe

hallway,andshejustlaughedandlaughed.

Shewasstillwearingherhairdownthen,

andI’llneverforgethowitlookedlikeawa-

terfallofred.It’slikenomatterwhathap-

pens,theycanfindthemselvesagainthere.”

“Iknowwhatyoumean.”Erikeyedthe

bottleofredwineI’dsnaggedandgrinned.

“My

parents

find

themselves

over

omenalörtsy.”

Iwrappedmyarmsaroundmyknees,

tuckingmydressbeneathme.“What’sthat?”

“It’slikeanappledoughnut.Mymother

madehimabatchwhentheyweredating,

anditbecametheirthing.Whensomething

goodhappens:omenalörtsy.Whenthey’remakingupafterafight:omenalörtsy.When

340/467

itseemslikeaparticularlywonderfulFriday:omenalörtsy.”

“Howdidtheymeet?”

“Thiswillsoundstrange,butthroughbolts

andscrews.”

Isquinted.“So…aretheymechanics?”

“No,”herepliedwithachuckle.“Mypar-

entshaveknowneachotherbasicallytheir

entirelives.Theygrewupinthesamesmall

towninSwendway.Whentheywereeleven,

someguysatschoolwerepickingonmydad,

throwinghisschoolworkinthemud.My

momwasevensmallerthanhimatthetime,

butshewentrightupandyelledatthemand

pulledmydadaway.

“Hewasembarrassed,butshewasen-

raged.Sheforcedhimintoanalliance,and

thatnighttheymeteachotheronaback

road,rantoeachofthethreebullies’houses,andstolethescrewsoutoftheirbikewheels

sothey’dhavetowalk.Forweeksafterthat,

anytimetheysawthatoneofthebullieshad

341/467

replacedthescrews,mymomanddadwould

gostealthem.Afterawhilethebulliesgave

upandwalked.”

“Ilikeyourmom,”Isaidthroughbitesof

bread.

“Oh,youguyswouldgetalonggreat.She

lovesfoodandmusicandisonaconstant

huntforagoodreasontolaugh.Mydad,on

theotherhand—Well,ifyouthinkI’mshy,

youshouldmeethim.He’smuchmorecom-

fortablewithbooksthanpeople,anditcan

takehimawhiletowarmuptostrangers.

Anyway,myparentsgrewup,andbecause

theywereverydifferentpeople,theyranin

differentcircles.Boyafterboycamebyfor

mymother,whilemydadwasspending

weekendsinthelibrary.

“Whenmydadgotolder,heboughtabike.

Andonemorninghewokeupandfoundthe

screwsforhiswheelsweremissing.”

“No!”

342/467

“Yes.Andshedidthisuntilhewisedup

andstartedwalkingwithhertoschool.And

they’vebeenwalkingtogethereverywhere

since.”

“Thatisamazing.”

Henodded.“Theymarriedyoungbut

waitedawhiletostartafamily.Theytellme

nottotakeoffensebutthattheyweren’t

readytoshareeachotherwithanyoneelse,

notevenme.”

Ishookmyhead.“IreallywishIcould

meetthem.”

“They’dhavelikedyou.Dadmighthave

spentmostofthevisithidinginhisroom,

buthe’dhavelikedyouallthesame.”

Erikuncorkedthewine,andweshared

fruitandbreadandcheese.Foralongtime

wedidn’tspeak.Thesilencemadeeverything

feelbigger,better.Therewasnorushtofillthespace,andafterdaysanddaysofsound,

thecomfortablequietwithErikwasthemost

343/467

soothingthinginmyworld.Itwaslikebeing

alonewithoutreallybeingalone.

“Ihavetoaskanembarrassingquestion,”I

admittedafterawhile.

“Oh,no.”Hetookadeepbreath.“Allright,

I’mready.”

“What’syourfullname?”

Henearlyspitouthiswine.“IthoughtI

wasgoingtohavetoconfesssomedark

secret,andthat’sit?”

“IfeelbadthatI’vekissedyouanddon’t

knowyourlastname.”

Henodded.“It’sEikkoPetteriKoskinen.”

“EikkoPet…Petteri?”

“Koskinen.”

“Koskinen.”

“Perfect.”

“IsitokayifIcallyouthat?Eikko?Ilike

yourname.”

Heshrugged.“IonlychangeditbecauseI

thoughtitwastoostrange.”

“No,”Iinsisted.“It’snotstrange.”

344/467

Helookeddown,toyingwiththeblanket.

“Whataboutyou?Fullname?”

Isighed.“Therewassomedebateover

middlenames,soit’sEadlynHelenaMar-

gareteSchreave.”

“That’samouthful,”heteased.

“It’spretentious,too.Mynameliterally

means‘princessshiningpearl.’”

Hetriedtohidehissmile.“Yourparents

namedyouPrincess?”

“Yes.Yes,IamQueenPrincessSchreave,

thankyou.”

“Ishouldn’tlaugh.”

“Andyetyoudo.”Ibrushedthecrumbsoff

mydress.“ItmakesmefeellikeIwaspre-

destinedtobecomeabrat.”

Hegrabbedmyhand,forcingmetolookat

him.“Youarenotabrat.”

“Thefirsttimewereallyspoke,Icorrected

yourmanners.”

Heshrugged.“Theyneededcorrecting.”

345/467

Ismiledsadly.“I’mnotsurewhy,butthat

makesmewanttocry.”

“Pleasedon’t.Thatwasagooddayfor

me.”

Iquestionedhimwithmyeyes,holdingon

tohishandashecontinued.“Whenyougot

upontothefloatandyouwerespeakingwith

Henri?Afteryouweredone,youlooked

downtoletmeknoweverythingwasokay.

Youdidn’thavetodothat.Youwerebusy

andinarush,andyoustillacknowledged

me.EvenafterknowingIwasthetypeof

personwhobitmynailswhenIwas

nervous.”

Thatmademewanttocryevenmore.“Did

itstartthen?”

“Prettymuch.AndI’vechastisedmyself

foriteverydaysince.But,ofcourse,Ias-

sumednoonewouldeverknow,leastofall

you.”

“Iwasabitslower,”Iadmitted.“Ithinkit

waswhenyoupulledmefromthekitchen.

346/467

Youweren’tworriedaboutwhatwashappen-

ing,orhowwemightlookrunningthrougha

crowdedroom,oranythingelseintheworld,

itseemed.Iwasunsettled,andyoubrought

mebacktoearth.Somanypeoplearein

chargeofkeepingmeinline,butnoone

seemstomakemefeelquitesonormalas

you.”

Heswallowed.“I’msorryIwon’tbeableto

dothatmuchlonger.”

“YouhavenoideahowmuchIwishyou

could.”

Afterastrainedmomentofsilence,he

clearedhisthroat.“Wouldyoupleasebeso

kind…whenthisisover,wouldyouplease

notcontactme?I’msureyoucouldfindme

anytimeyouwanted.Butpleasedon’t.You

havebeenawonderfulfriendtome,andso

havethesemen.Idon’twanttobecomethe

kindofmanwhobetrayshisfriends.”

347/467

“AndIdon’twanttobecomethekindof

womanwhodeceivesherhusband.Whenit’s

over,it’sover.”

“Thankyou,”hewhispered.

“Butnothingisovertonight,”Ireminded

him.

Helookeddown,smilingabit.“Iknow.

I’mtryingtodecideifIhaveenoughcourage

toaskyouforanotherkiss.”

Imovedclosertohim.“Youcanaskfor

one.Ortwo.Ortwelve.”

Andhelaughedbeforehetoppledback-

ward,therushofourmovementknocking

overhisglassofwineandsendingthecandle

flamesdancing.

IGOTTOTHEOFFICEalittlelaterthanI’dintendedthenextmorning.I’dsweptbackmyhair

anddressedinarush,butnomatterhow

muchtimeIspentonmyface,Icouldn’t

seemtowipeawaymysmile.

Itwasadeliciousfeeling,fallinginlove.

I’dhadsomanyluxuriesinmylife,andI

thoughtI’dhadatasteofthisbefore,butI

realizednowitwasmerelyacheapimitation

349/467

ofsomethingnotmeanttobeimitatedinthe

firstplace.

Iremindedmyselfitwouldend,andI’d

alreadymademypeacewithit.IknewIwas

goingtochooseKile;I’dtoldEikkoasmuch.

Kilewouldmakemehappy,andIhopedI

coulddothesameforhim.Ifiguredatsome

point,onceKileknewIwaschoosinghim,I’d

comecleantohimaboutsomeofthis.AndI

knewKilewellenoughtoknowthathe’dun-

derstandifIconfessedtofeelingconfused

abouttheprocessandthatkissingEikko

wasn’tsomethingIplanned,bothofwhich

weretrue.Ididn’twantithangingoverus.

Anyofus.

AndalifesidebysidewithKilewasnot

exactlyaprisonsentence.Hewassmart,pas-

sionate,funny,charming—adozenthingsa

husbandoughttobe.Hewouldbebeloved

bythepeople—ourpeople—andhewould

standbesidemeandfightMarid.Hewasso

350/467

charismatic,hemightevenrenderMarid

useless.

And,deepinmyheart,Ihopedtherewasa

chancethatIcouldlearntolovehim,now

thatIknewwhatthatreallyfeltlike.

ForthetimebeingIhadafewprecious

daysleftwithEikko,andIintendedtotreas-

ureeachone.

Neenatappedonmydesk,bringingmyat-

tentionbacktothepresent.“Areyouokay?

Whatareyouthinkingabout?”

“Umm…”

Tobehonest,Iwasthinkingaboutthe

soundofHerMajestyEadlynHelenaMar-

gareteSchreavedeKoskinen,andhowsuddenlymymouthfulofnamesseemedlikea

lineofpoetry.ButthenIlookedintohereyesandsawtheyweretingedwithred.

“Aboutyou,”Isaid.“Areyouallright?”

“I’mfine,”shesaidinatonethatsaidnotreally.“It’sjustMark.He’sworkingsuchlonghours,andnowIhavetoworkmore,

351/467

andit’sgettinghardertokeepintouch.You

know,sameold.Distanceisn’tabigdealun-

tilitis.”

Itookherhands.“Neena,thelastthingI

wanttodoiscostyouthepersonyoulove.

You’reabrilliantgirl;youcouldwork

anywhere—”

“Areyoufiringme?”shewhispered,look-

inglikeshemightcry.

“Ofcoursenot!Thethoughtofyouleaving

breaksmyheart.Ifyoucanhavefriendsoul

mates,you’remine,andIdon’twantyougo-

inganywhere.”Shelaughedthroughher

glassyeyes.“Ijustcan’tbeartowatchyou

losesomethingthatmatterssomuchtoyou.”

“Igetthat.Doyouhaveanyideahowhard

itisformetositbackandlookatyourliferightnow?”

Isighed.“Mylifeisadifferentthingen-

tirely.And,likeyousaid,Icoulddoworse.”

“Eadlyn,pleaserethinkthis.Theremust

beabetterwaytostopMarid.”

352/467

“Ifthereis,Idon’thavethetimetowait

forit.IfIdon’tsecuremyplacenow,I’ll

eitherhaveareignfilledwithpeopletrying

tousurpmeandfailing,orpeopletryingand

succeeding.Thoseoptionsaren’tacceptable.

Thismatterstome.Ican’tcompromise.”

Shenodded.“Well,neithercanI.AndI

couldn’tleaveyoulikethat.”

Itookherhand,grateful,asalways,forher

presenceinmylife.

“Letmeknowifyouchangeyourmind,”I

insisted.“Ifyouneedtoleave,Icould—”

Iwasstunnedintosilencebythesightof

Josiecomingintotheofficebalancingatray

inherhands.ShesetacupofcoffeeinfrontofNeenaandoneinfrontofmebeforeshe

spoke.

“Everyonesaidyoutookyourcoffeewith

twosugars,butifit’swrongIcangoback.”

“No,no,”Isaid,stillslightlyconfused.

“That’sright.”

353/467

“Okay.AndIwaswalkingbythemailroom

andtheyhadthese,soIfiguredIcouldget

themtoyou.”Sheplacedahandfulofletters

inthewoodenin-boxonmydesk.

“Thankyou.”

Shenodded.“Also,Isawyourmotherthis

morning.She’sdoingverywell.Ihaven’t

seenanyoftheboys.”

“Goodluckhuntingthemdown,”Isaid

withasmile.“Thankyou,Josie.”

“It’stheleastIcoulddo.”Sheshrugged.

“I’mnotbusy,ifyouneedanothersetof

hands.”

“Neena?”

Iturned,andsawshewasstilltakingin

thischange.“How’syourpenmanship?”she

finallyasked.

“Excellent,”Josiereplied,beaming.

“Allright,then.”Andjustlikethat,Igotanunexpectedadditiontotheoffice.

Foxwasquietaswewalkedthepalacehalls.

Itwasn’tthemostexcitingofdates,butthe

354/467

constantcloudofworryhangingovermy

headhadsappedanycreativityIhad.Still,asthephotographercheckedtheimagesonthe

backofhiscamera,heseemedpleased.

“It’skindofsadthatwecan’tgoouttoa

restaurantordosomethingfunlike…Do

youbowl?”Foxasked.

“No,”Iansweredwithalaugh.“Puttingon

shoesthatathousandotherpeoplehave

wornandputtingmyfingersintoholeswith

goodnessknowshowmanygermsinthere?”

Istuckoutmytongue.“Notmything.”

Hesmiled.“Butit’ssofun!Howcanyou

eventhinkaboutgerms?”

“Ostenonceaskedtogobowlingforhis

birthday.Werentedanentirebowlingalley

fortheafternoon.AfterIrealizedyouwere

supposedtowearusedshoes,Icouldn’tget

overit.Nomatterhowmuchdisinfectant

theysprayedinthere,Iwasn’tupforthat.

Everyoneplayed,evenMom,butIwatched.”

355/467

“That’ssad.Areyouafraidofgerms?”His

tonewasalmostmocking.

Iletthesnubgo.“No.It’sjustincredibly

unappealing.”

“Well,thatsettlesit,”hesaid.

“Settleswhat?”

“Ifyoumarryme,thefirstorderofbusi-

nessisputtinginourownpersonalbowling

alley.”

Ilaughed.

“I’mnotkidding.Maybewecoulddoaway

withthestudioandputitthere.”

“NomoreReports?”Iaskedjoyfully.

“Okay,thatmightbeatippingpointforme.

I’monboard.”

“Youcoulddesignyourownshoes!”

“Oooooh!”Icouldalreadyimaginetaking

thoseweirdshoesandmakingthemworthy

ofroyalty.Thatwouldbeafunproject.

“That’sonethingIreallylikeaboutyou,Fox.

You’regoodatlighteningthemood.”

356/467

“Ithinkwe’regood,YourMajesty,”the

photographersaid,retreating.“Thankyou.”

“Thankyou,”Icalled.“Sorryaboutthat.

Withthingsgettingtotheend,peoplereally

wantapeekintothefinalfour.”

“Oh,Idon’tmind,”hesaid.“Ifeellucky,

gettingthisfar,gettingtobewithyou.”

Irubbedmythumbacrosshishand.

“Thanks,Fox.IknowI’vebeenbusy.”

“DoIlookupset?I’monthefirstdatewith

youasqueen.Howincredibleisthat?”

Ihadn’tevenconsideredhowthatmight

betaken.I’dbeenhopingtohintthathe

mightbeleavingsoon.NowIfelttrapped.

“I’vebeensorude.Howareyoudoing?

How’syourfamily?”

“Dad’sallright.He’sbeenbraggingto

everyonewho’llstopandlisten.‘YousawFox

wasinthefinalfour,right?That’smyboy.’”

Heshookhishead.“Iguesshehasn’thad

muchtocelebrateforawhile,soeventhough

Ikindofwanttotellhimtocalmdown,I

357/467

can’t.AtleastIdon’thavetowatchit

firsthand.”

Igiggled.“Iknowwhatyoumean.My

dad’sintophotography,andhelikestodocu-

menteverylittlething.Forsomereasonit

canbewaymoreembarrassingwhenhe’s

therethanajournalist,evenwhenthey’re

doingtheexactsamething.”

“It’syourdad.It’spersonal.”

“Yeah.”

Wefellsilent,andthepalacefeltempty.

ForamomentImissedthecrowdingmassof

boyswho’dstormedintomylifebarelytwo

monthsago.IwonderedifIwouldkeep

thinkingaboutthemafterthiswasallover.

“Anyway,he’sdoingwell,allthingscon-

sidered,”Foxsaid,fillingthespace.“He’s

reallyproud,buthekeepsaskingmeques-

tionsthatI’mneverquitesurehowto

answer.”


358/467

IwatchedFox’sexpressionshiftfromde-

terminationtoembarrassment.

“HekeepsaskingmeifIloveyou.Orifyou

loveme.I’vetoldhimthatIcan’tgowalkingintoyourofficeanddemandingadeclaration

oflove.”Hegrinned,showingheunderstood

howunreasonabletherequestwas.“Iwould

neveraskyoutotellmeyourfeelings.I’m

notsurethat’sfair.ButIthoughtyoushouldknowthatI…I…”

“Don’tsayit.”

“Whynot?Ifeltitforawhilenow,andI’ve

wantedtotellyou.”

“I’mnotreadytohearit.”Ibackedaway,

myheartpoundinginmyears.Thiswastoo

fast,toosudden.I’dhardlygottentospeaktohimrecently,andnowthis?

“Eadlyn.IwantyoutoatleastknowhowI

feel.You’regoingtohavetopicksomeone

soon,sowouldn’titbewiseforyoutohave

thisinformation?”

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Iturnedtohimandsquaredmyshoulders.

IfIcouldfacereportersanddignitaries,I

couldfaceaboy.“Tellmeeverything,Fox.”

Hissmilewastinybutsincere.“IthinkI’ve

beenagonerforyoufromthenightyoulet

mestay.Youweresokindtomeinthe

middleoftheworstnightofmylife,andI’m

desperateforyoutomeetmyfamily.Iwant

toseeyouonthebeachinClermont;Iwant

youtospendaneveningaroundthetable

withus.Inamillionways,Ithinkyou’dfit

rightinwiththeWesleys.”

Hepaused,shakinghisheadlikehe

couldn’tbelievehe’dsaidthat.

“Iwanttohelpyou.Iwanttobetherefor

youinanywayIcan.AndI’dliketothink

thatyoucouldbethereforme.Idon’tknow

howmuchlongerIhavewithmydad.I’dlike

himtoknowI’vechosenapathbeforehe

dies.”

Iclosedmyeyes,feelingoverwhelmed

withguilt.Itwasn’tthatlongagomymother

360/467

wasonwhatIthoughtwasherdeathbed.I

understoodthatwish.

“Butthatdoesn’tmeanIcanmakeitcome

true,”Imumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing,”Ianswered,shakingmyhead

clear.“Fox,thesearebeautifulsentiments.

AndIadmireyourhonesty,butI’mnot

readytomakeanypromises.”

“I’mnotaskingyouto.”Hecamecloser,

takingmyhand.“Ijustneededyoutoknow

howIfelt.”

“Andnow,asyousaid,I’lltakeallthisintoconsiderationasI’mmakingmychoice.

Whichwillbesoon.”

Herubbedhisfingeracrossmyhand,a

gesturethatfeltlesscomfortingthanit

shouldhave.

“I’mseriousaboutyou,Eadlyn.Don’t

doubtit.”

“Oh,Idon’t,”Iwhispered.“Notinthe

slightest.”

“IDON’TUNDERSTAND,”NEENACONFESSEDthe

nextmorningasIrecountedthedatetoher.

“Isn’thimconfessinghisdevotionagood

thing?Like,maybehecouldbeoneofthe

toptwoinstead?”

Everyoneelsewasstillatbreakfast,sothe

officewasempty.Asthesunbeamed

throughthewindows,wesattogetherona

couch,legscurledbeneathus,asifthiswas

themorningafteraslumberparty.

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“Idon’tthinkso.Somethingaboutitfeltso

forced.Notthathedidn’tactuallyfeelthosethings,butitwaslikeheorchestratedamomentsoIwouldhavetohearit.”Irestedmy

headonmyhand,thelinesrepeatinginmy

head.“AndthenIfeltguilty.HetalkedabouthisdadandsaidI’dmakeagoodWesleyand

…itwasalljustoffsomehow.”

Myfreehandpickedatthehemofmyskirt

asifmyfingerscouldundomytangled

thoughts.“Ithinkwhatitwas,”Ibegan,“is

thathesaidhe’dfeltthiswaysincethenightofthekitchenfight,butwehaven’treallyhadmuchinteractionsincethen,atleastnotone-on-one.Soforhimtohavethisgrowing,

deep,seriousattractiontome…wheredoes

itstemfrom?”

Neenanodded.“It’slikehe’sinlovewith

someonehethinksyouare,notwhoyou

reallyare.”

Mywholebodywiltedinrelief.“That’sit.

That’sexactlywhatthisfeelslike.”

363/467

“Sosendhimhome?”

Ishookmyhead.“No,IpromisedHalehe

couldleavenext.He’sready,andIdon’t

wanttodisappointhim,notaftereverything

he’sdoneforme.”

“Goodmorning,YourMajesty.Hi,Neena.”

LadyBricewalkedin,holdingamuffininher

hand.“YourMajesty,Ihavesomedocuments

fromyourbrotherforyoutoreview.Itap-

pearsFrancewantstorenegotiatetheirtrade

deal.Ithinkthiswillbetheeasiestonein

years.”

“Aww,whatahandylittlething,that

Ahren.”IwassurethiswasmoreCamille’s

doingthanhis,butIknewhispresencewas

helpful.

“Hesureis.Ialsohavethreecontractsfor

youtoreviewfromNewAsia;they’rewaiting

onyourdesk.AndtheproduceroftheRe-

portwouldliketofilmaninterviewwithyouthisafternoon,somethingabout

transition

pieces,Idon’tknow.”

364/467

“Oh,so,anice,easyday?”Ijoked.

“Asalways!”

“LadyBrice,didyouhelpDadthismuch?”

Shelaughed.“Onlyforashorttime.Once

yougrewup,hewantedyoutotakeonabig-

gerrole.Andassoonasyoufeelyou’reon

yourfeet,I’llhappilystepback,ormaybe

retire.”

Iscrambledoffthecouchandgrabbedher

bytheshoulders.“No.Notever.Youwillliveanddieinthisoffice!”

“Asyouwish,myqueen.”

“YourMajesty!YourMajesty!”someone

yelled.

“Josie?”Icalled,watchingassheranin.

“What’sthematter?”

“IwaswatchingTV.Marid.”Shewasgulp-

inginbreaths.

“WhataboutMarid?”

Sheswallowed.“Hewasseenshoppingfor

engagementrings.It’salloverthenews.”

365/467

Alltheadvisersfloodedintotheparloraswewatchedeverythingunfold.Veryquickly,the

manypeopleIdidn’ttrustwithmysecrets

weremadealltooawareofwhatMaridhad

beenplottingandjusthowclosehewascom-

ingtothecrown.

“He’sgotthelookofaking,doesn’the?”

onenewscastersaid.

“Ofcoursehedoes!He’sdescendedfrom

one!”hercohortreplied.

“Really,wouldn’tthatbesoromantic?”

“Itwould.Oh,itsowould,butsheisinthe

middleofaSelection.”

Thenewscasterbrushedherhandacross

theair.“Whocares?Letthemgo.Noneof

themhasthecharmofMaridIlléa,notbya

longshot.”

Iflippedchannels.

“Accordingtothejeweler,Mr.Illéawas

lookingatsomeratherexpensivepieces,

whichwouldonlybefittingifheisindeed

planningtoproposetothequeen.”

366/467

“Thisisyetanotherunlikelyeventina

seriesofunprecedentedmovessurrounding

theroyalfamily.First,wehaveaSelection

ledbyaprincessinsteadofaprince.Second,wehaveayoungwomanascendingwellbeforeshe’sbeeneitherfullytrainedorher

fatherhaspassed.Andnowwehaveanout-

sidesuitortryingtostealthequeen’sheart

beforeoneoftheElitehasachance.Itisabsolutelyfascinating.”

Iflippedchannelsagain.

“Kathyherewasonhandwhentheyoung

Mr.Illéacamein.Canyoutelluswhatyou

saw?”

“Well,heseemedalittlebashfulatfirst,asifhewasn’treadytoadmitwhyhewashere.

Butafteraboutfifteenminutesofhimlinger-

ingalongthecase,itwasprettyobviouswhathewaslookingfor.”

“Anddidheseemdrawntoanythingin

particular?”

367/467

“Hehadmepulloutatleastadozendiffer-

entrings,andwhennothingwasquitewhat

hewaslookingfor,Itoldhimwecould

designapieceforhimifheliked,andhelitup.I’mhopinghecomesbacksoon.”

“SowouldyouchooseMaridover,say,Sir

HaleorSirKile?”

“Oh,goodness!Ireallycan’tsay.AllI

knowis,QueenEadlynisaveryluckywo-

mantohavesomanyeligiblemenfawning

alloverher.”

Icouldn’ttakeitanymore.Iturnedoffthe

TVandfellwithahuffontothecouch.

“Ishouldhaveknown,”Isaid.“Silence

seemedsmart,butnowhe’smadethishuge.”

Mr.Rasmusgrunted.“Weneedaplan.”

“Wehaveaplan,”Isnapped.“Isthereany-

thingwereallycouldhavedonebesidesmar-

ryingmeofffaster?”

GeneralLegerstoodwithhisbackagainst

abookshelf,stillstaringattheblankscreen.

“Wecouldkillhim.”

368/467

Isighed.“Ireallydon’twantthattobemy

go-tomove.”

SirAndrewswasangry,too,butforallthe

wrongreasons.“Youshouldn’thavepro-

vokedhim.”

“I’vedonenothing,”Ishotback.

“Youwereactivelyignoringhim.”

“Calmdown,Andrews.”LadyBricepaced

behindthecouch,enraged.AsIwatchedher,

IcaughtJosiestandinginacorner.Shemust

havemissedheropportunitytoescapeand

wasnowtrapped,lookingafraidoftheloud

voicesandangerthatsurroundedher.“We

havetoshuthimup,onceandforall.”

“TheonlywaytodothatistogetEadlyn

engaged,”SirAndrewsstated.

“Yes,we’reaware,”LadyBriceagreedina

tiredtone.“Butsheshouldn’tberushedinto

this.Howcanshehaveanythingclosetoa

successfulmarriageifsheforcesit?”

“It’sherdutytomakeitsuccessful!”

369/467

“Duty?She’saperson,”LadyBriceargued.

“She’sagreedtodothis,andthere’sno

reason—”

“Shehasneverbeenjustaperson!”

Andrewsremindedher.“Fromthesecond

shewasborn,she’sbeenacommodity,and

weneedto—”

General

Leger

was

moving

toward

Andrews.“Saythatagain.I’mnotafraidto

makedeathmygo-tomove.”

“Areyouthreateningme,youlittle—”

“Stop,”Ibreathed.Anditwasamazing.

Withthequietestofcommands,theentire

roomcametoastandstill.

I’dknownitwascomingforme.AndI

reallyhadcometotermswithit.Maridhad

shownhowmuchinfluencehetrulyhad,and

Ihadtofighthimoff.Icouldn’thelpworry-

ingthatevenmarriagewouldn’tkeepthe

peopleonmyside,butitwasallIhadleft.

“LadyBrice,ifyouwould,please,bringFox

370/467

totheoffice.It’stimewesaidourgood-

byes.”

“Areyousure,YourMajesty?Onceyou

narrowitdowntothree—”

“I’mnotnarrowingitdowntothree.”I

swallowed.“PleasesendHalesoonafter.I’ll

bemakingmyfinalchoicethisevening,and

wewilldoalivebroadcasttomorrownight

insteadofaReport.Nodoubt,afterthisweek,everyonewillbewatching.”

“Absolutely,YourMajesty.”

“There,SirAndrews.Youhaveyourpro-

gress.Myofficialengagementannouncement

willcomefromthepalacetomorrow

afternoon.”

“Areyousureweoughttowaitthatlong?

IfMarid—”

“IfMaridpullsanotherstupidstunt,itwill

beshotdowninlessthantwenty-fourhours.

Thatisgoodenoughforme,sir,soitiscer-

tainlygoodenoughforyou.”

Istood.Itwasdone.

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Iwascertainsomethingwouldgiveme

away,convincedthateveryoneintheroom

wouldseethatapartofmehadlostoxygen

andwassuffocatingthenandthere.Inmy

head,IwatchedEikkopackhissuitcaseand

disappearfrommylifeforever.Itwasanew

kindofpain,pressedintothisdoomedheart

ofmine.

EVERYONELEFTINAHUFFforlunch,andI

stayedintheparlor,cravingsolitude.In

truth,IcravedEikko,buttherewasnowayI

couldgettohimwithoutraisingsuspicion.

Grittingmyteeth,IturnedtheTVbackon.I

mutedit,watchingtheimagesofMaridplay

acrossthescreen.

Maybethepeoplewereright.MaybeI

shouldstepdownnow.IfwetrainedKaden

forthecrown,thatmightsaveeverything.It

373/467

wouldbehumiliatingformetoabdicateafter

lessthanaweek,butitmightatleastkeep

therestofmyfamilyfrombeingshamed.

“YourMajesty?”Josiesnuckuponme.

“CanIgetyouanything?Somefood?

Coffee?”

“No,Josie.I’velostmyappetite.”

“Idon’tblameyou,”shesaidwithatiny

smile.

“Iwanttothankyouforcomingtowarn

metoday.Iknowitdoesn’tseemlikemuch,

butthoseextrafiveminuteshelpedmebrace

myself.Itwouldhavebeenathousandtimes

worseifSirAndrewshadfoundoutfirst.”

Shewidenedhereyes.“He’shorrible.Do

theyyelllikethatallthetime?”

Inodded.“NotLadyBriceorGeneral

Leger.Buttheotherswerelikethatwith

Dad,too.It’sasiftheythinktheonlywaytomakeyouunderstandhowadamanttheyare

istoscreamaboutit.”

374/467

Wewerequietforaminute,watching

Marid’shandsomefaceonthescreen.He

certainlyhadhiswavedown.

“I’msosorry,Eadlyn,”Josiewhispered,

drawingmyfocusbacktoher.“For

everything,andforhowI’vebeen,andfor

whatyou’redealingwithnow.”

“Youhadnoidea,didyou?”Iasked,my

tonegentle.

Embarrassed,sheshookherhead.“I

thoughteveryonedidtheworkforyou,and

youjustsaidyesorno.”

“Thatitwasallpartiesandmoneyand

power?”

“Yeah.”Sheletoutanalmostlaugh.“I

can’tbelieveIspentmywholelifewantingtobeaprincessonlytoseeIcouldnever,ever

handleit.”

Ishiftedonthecouch,finallyputtingto

voiceathingI’dbeenalmostpositiveabout

fromtheverybeginning.

375/467

“IsthatwhyyouputKile’snamein?So

youcouldbeaprincess?”

Sheblushedfiercely.“Ididn’tthinkhe’d

actuallygetdrawn.Andifhedid,Ididn’t

thinktherewasanywayyou’dchoosehim.

WhenIsawthatkissonthefrontpageofthe

newspapers,Iwassoexcited.Istarted

designingtiarasinmynotebooks.”

“Andnow?”

“I’dstillliketohaveoneofmyveryown,

butIknowIhaven’tearnedit.”Shesmiled

slowly.“AndIrealizethatevenifhewins,Iwouldn’texactlybeaprincess,butitstill

feelslikeabigdeal.IlookatyourauntMay,andhowglamoroussheis,travelingaround

theworldandmeetingallthesepeopleand

lookinglikearunwaymodel.”

“Icanseetheappeal,”Iagreed.“Mom’s

siblingsdefinitelygotabetterdealthanshedidincertainways.”

AsIthoughtofmyauntanduncles,awon-

derfulideastruckme,andIwasthrilledthat

376/467

atleastonegoodthingmightcomefromthis

day.

Josieplayedwiththehemofherdress.

“Yeah,itlooksfun.ButIwaswaytooob-

sessedwithit.I’msorryIgaveyousucha

hardtime.”

“SoamI.Itwashardgrowingupwith

someonewhowantedtobemewithoutdoing

anyofthework.”

“Anditwashardformegrowingupin

yourshadow.”Sheseemedsad,unsureof

herselfnow.

“Youknow,Josie,itisn’ttoolatetofallinlovewithsomethingelse.Youhappento

haveanexcellentresourceinme,andI’dliketohelpyoufindtherightpath.Solongas

thatpathisfarawayfrommytiaras.”

Shegiggled.“Ihavenoideawhereto

start.”

“Well,you’veproventheselastfewdays

howhelpfulyoucanbe.Whatifweputyou

onthepayroll,asanofficeintern?Whatever

377/467

you’regoingtodo,you’llneedyourown

moneyforit.”

“Really?”shegasped.

“Really.”

Josieflungherselfacrosstheroom,collid-

ingwithmeinahug.Forthefirsttime,I

didn’tmindherbeingsoclose.

“Thankyou.”

“You’rewelcome.I’vegottodothegoodI

canwhileI’mhere.”

Shepulledback.“Iswear,ifyoustep

down,I’llneverforgiveyou.”

Ihadn’tmeanttogivethatmuchawayina

sentence.

“Irealizethatdoesn’tmeanmuch,but

still.Don’tdoit.Youcan’t.”

Ishookmyhead.“Iwon’t.Ipromise.As

temptingasitis,I’mtooproudtodoit.”

DearUncleGerad,

Thisletterislongoverdue.Howareyou?

How’swork?How’s…

Okay,Ineedafavor.Mylady-in-waiting’sboyfriendisalsoatalentedscientist.I’mnot

378/467

completelysureifhisfieldandyoursaresimilar,butIthoughtyoumightat

leasthaveaconnectionthatcouldgethimworkin

Angeles.Itwouldmeantheworldtoherifhewascloser,anditwouldmeantheworldtomeifshewashappier.Doyouthinkyou

couldhelp?

Friendlyreminder,I’myourqueen.

Thanksbunches!Loveyoulots!Visitsoon!

Eadlyn

FOXUNDERSTOODWHATBEINGSUMMONEDtomy

officemeant.Soherefusedtocomeandin-

steadsenthisgood-byesthroughNeena,who

arrangedforhimtostayatahoteluntilhe

couldgetaflighttoClermontthefollowing

morning.

Ifeltlow,sneakysomehow,likeI’dgotten

offtooeasy.I’dbeenpreparedforabattle.Igotaretreat.

380/467

ButHalewalkedthroughthedoorwayall

smiles,dressedtotheninesandreadyto

leavelikeagentleman.Hisarmswereopen

ashecrossedtheoffice,andIfellintothem,trustinghimtoafault.

“I’mgoingtomissyousomuch,”he

whisperedintomyear.

“Me,too.Butyouknowhowtogetahold

ofmeifyouneedto,right?”

Henodded.“Neenagavemesomeinform-

ationalongwithmyflightdetails.”

“Good.BecauseI’mprobablygoingto

needtospeakwithyousoon.”

“Oh?”heasked,steppingbackand

straighteninghissuitcoat.

“Ofcourse.Someonehastodesignmy

weddingdress.”

Halestoodthere,thesmilewipedinstantly

fromhisfaceasifhethoughtthiswassome

twistedjoke.

“Eadlyn…doyoumeanthat?”

381/467

Iheldhimbytheshoulders.“Youshielded

mewhenthepublicthrewfood.Yoube-

friendedmebeforeIwaswillingtoacceptit.

Evennowyou’veprotectedme,farpastany-

thingI’vedeserved.TheleastIcandoisbe

yourfirstclient.I’llbewatchingyour

skyrocketingcareerwithinterest,sir.”

Hiseyesglistenedwithtears,butheman-

agedtokeephimselftogether.

“I’mkindofscaredtoleave,”heconfessed.

“SomuchisgoingtochangeonceI’moutside

ofthesewalls.”

Inodded.“Butthatdoesn’tmeanit’sgoing

toallbebad.”

Helaughed.“Whendidyoubecomesuch

anoptimist?”

“Itcomesandgoes.”

“Asdomostthings,”hesaidwithasigh.

“Asdomostthings,”Iagreed.Ihugged

himonelasttime.“Haveasafeflight,and

startdesigningassoonasyougethome.”

382/467

“Areyoukidding?I’llbedesigninginthe

car!”

Halekissedmycheekandwinked.“Bye,

Eadlyn.”

“Bye.”

WithHalegone,everythingspiraledintoa

laserfocus.Thiswastheend.Thereweretwo

suitorsleft,andoneblue-eyedsoulmate.I

wasn’tsurewhotospeaktofirst.Aftersome

thought,IrealizedEikkoknewwhatwas

coming.Hewouldn’tbesurprisedbymyan-

nouncement.ButHenriwould,andIexpec-

tedhewasgoingtotakeithard.Iwouldsee

Kilefirst,andthatwouldleavemeplentyof

timetotalkthisoutcalmlywithHenri

throughthepainfuluseofhispositivelywon-

derfultranslator.

IwastremblingwhenIknockedonKile’s

door.Ihadn’tpreparedaspeechoranything.

AndwhileIassumedhe’dsayyes,Ireally

hadnoidea.Whatifhe’dsuddenlydecided

thatIwasn’tworthallthework?

383/467

Hisbutleransweredthedoorandbowed

deeply.“YourMajesty.”

“IneedtospeakwithSirKile,please.”

“I’msorry,miss,he’snothere.Hemen-

tionedgettingsomethingfromhisoldroom.”

“Oh.Well,Iknowwherethatis.Thank

you.”

Imademywayuptothethirdfloor,fol-

lowingthepathI’dtakenthenighthe’d

agreedtokissmeinthehallway.Whata

strangeturnourliveshadtaken.

Kile’sdoorwasslightlyopen,andIcould

seehimtinkeringawayinthecornerofhis

room.He’dflunghissuitjacketandtieon

thebedandwassandingasmallpieceof

wood,presumablypreparingtoattachitto

thestructurebesideit.

“CanIcomein?”

Hewhippedhisheadup,andafewstrands

ofhairfellintohisface.Itwasgettinglongagain.Itdidn’tlookasbadasIremembered.

384/467

“Heythere,”hesaid,shakingthemessoff

hishandsandcomingtogreetme.“Iwas

hopingI’dgettoseeyoutoday.”

“Oh,yeah?”

Heputanarmaroundmywaistandpulled

metothebackoftheroom.“Iwaswatching

someTVthismorning,andIkeptseeingall

thisstuffaboutMarid.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Iknow.He’sabitofa

problemrightnow.”

Hesweptsomedustoffachair,andIsat

acrossfromhim,lookingathislittlecre-

ations.Detailedsketchesinblueandblack

ink,pilesofbookswithpapersstickingout,

andhisminiaturebuildingsscatteredaround

likeatinytown.He’dmadeaworlduphere.

“Canhereallypropose?”Hesounded

nervous,likehefearedMaridmighttakeme

insteadofthecountry.

“Hecan,Isuppose,butIwon’tsayyes.”I

sighed.“TurnsoutMaridisnottheallyI

thoughthewas.He’sbeenthreateningto

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swaypublicopinion,andatfirstIwasn’t

surehecoulddoit.Thenthewayhegothim-

selfintoeveryone’shousetoday…it’sbril-

liant,really.JustlikeLadyBricesaid,it’saninstant,battle-freeinvasion.”

“Invasion?Likewhat?Ishesuddenlyvy-

ingforthecrown?”

Iranmyfingersoverthelinesofoneof

Kile’sdrawings.“Idon’tthinkit’ssudden.Ithinkheandhisfamilyhavebeenlookingto

makeamoveforquiteawhile.Theinept

youngqueenwasaperfectopportunity.

“Nowhewantstobemyconsortanduse

mynametomakehisplanshappen.Myonly

hopeistogetengagedbeforehecantryto

propose,becauseI’msurethepresswilljust

gobbleitupifIrejecthim.”

“Solet’sdoit.”

“Dowhat?”

“Getmarried.Eadlyn,I’dmarryyouto-

night.Betweenthetwoofusandourfamil-

ies,there’snowayhe’dsurvive.Peoplehave

386/467

beenpullingforusfromthestart.Marryme,

Eadlyn.”

Ilookedintothesweetandworriedfaceof

KileWoodwork,andforaminuteIreally

thoughtIcould.I’dtoldmyselfitwouldall

beeasy,towalkdownanaisleandfindhim

attheend.He’dalwaysmakemelaugh.And

afterthelasttwomonthsofbeingonthe

sameside,Iknew,withoutquestion,thathe

wouldsupportmeforlife.

“Iwillconfess,Icameherejustnowto

makethatveryproposal.But…Ican’t.”

“Why?IsitbecauseIdidn’tgetdownon

oneknee?”Hedroppedinstantly,gripping

myhands.“Orwait,isitbecauseyou’resup-

posedtoask?”

Igotdownonthefloorwithhim.“No.It’s

notbecauseofanyofthat.”

Hisfacefell.“Youdon’tloveme.”

Ishookmyhead,laughing.“No,it’snot

thateither.Infact,Imightloveyoualittle

387/467

toomuch.Maybenotentirelyromantically,

butIdefinitelyloveyou.”

“Thenwhy?”

“Becauseofthis,”Isaid,motioningtothe

workaroundme.“Kile,I’llneverbeableto

tellyouhowmuchitmeanstomethatyou

wouldtakemeforlifejusttosavemefrom

oneperson.ConsideringwhatapainI’ve

been,that’samiracle.”

Hechuckled,stillholdingmyhands.

“Butallyouhaveeverwantedwastoget

awayfromthesewalls.Allyouwanttodois

build.Ithinkthat’sabeautifulthing.So

manypeopleintheworldwanttotearthings

apart.Howwonderfulisitthatyou’ddothe

opposite?”

“ButI’dgiveitup.Iwouldn’tmind.”

“Iwould.Iwouldmind.Andeventually,whenthescarysideofmylifediesdown,you

would,too.You’ddiealittlefromtheache

forit.You’dresentme.”Tearspooledinmy

388/467

eyes.“Ican’tliveinaworldwhereyoudon’tlikeme.”

“I’llstay,Eady.I’mtellingyou,Iwantto.”

“Ican’t.”

“Youcan.Youjustsaidthatyouneededto.

Whocoulddothisbetterthanme?”

Hottearsstreameddownmyface.“Please,

don’tmakemeforcethisonyou.”

“Youcan’tmakemeleave,Eadlyn.”

Irippedmyhandsfromhisandshottomy

feet,wipingmyface.IlookeddownonKile,

mysweet,sacrificingfriend,andsteadied

myself.

“KileWoodwork,youareherebybanished

fromthepalaceforthetermofoneyear.”

“What?”hestood,ballinghisfists.

“Ascompensationforlosingyourhome,

andforservicesrenderedtotheroyalfamily,youwillhaveanapartmentfullypaidforin

Bonita.”

“Bonita?That’sontheothersideofthe

country!”

389/467

“Inaddition,fundsandmaterialswillbe

allottedtoyoutobeginahousingprojectforthehomelessintheprovince’scapitalcity.”

Hisfacesoftened.“What?”

“Ifyoufindthefundsormaterialsinsuffi-

cient,youmaywritethepalaceandrequest

more,andIwillhavethemsenttoyouas

quicklyaspossible.”

“Eadlyn…”

“Youwillalwaysbemyfamily,Kile,butI

won’tmakeyoumyhusband.Ican’tdothat

toyou.”

Hisvoicewastender.“Butyouwillmake

someoneyourhusband.Youneedtonow.”

“ItwillbeHenri.Foxleftafewhoursago,

andHalejustgotintoacar.”

Hewascompletelyfloored.“Thisisreally

theend,isn’tit?”

“AndIwaspreparedtobewithyouforthe

restofmylife.Inaway,IguessIstillcan.

ButI’dhatemyselfifIkeptyouhere.It’dbeheartless.”

390/467

“WhataboutHenri?Willyoubehappy

withhim?”

Iswallowed.“Hedoesworshipthevery

groundIwalkon.”

Kilenodded,allowingthat.“Isupposeyou

coulddoworsethanabsolutedevotion.”

Ismiled.“Thankyou.Youhavekeptme

sanethroughsomuchofthis,butIcan’ttakeawaytheonethingyoureallycareabout.”

Henodded.“Iunderstand.”

Iwalkedtowardhim,andhefoldedmein-

toanembrace,holdingmesocloseitalmost

hurt.

Hisvoicesoundedtightwhenhefinally

spoke.“Ifthere’sanythingIcaneverdofor

you,tellme.”

Iweptintohisshirt.“Iwill.AndI’lldo

anythingyouask.”

“Exceptmarryme.”

Ipulledback,happytoseehimsmile.“Ex-

ceptmarryyou.”Iletgo,lacingmyfingers

together.“I’mgoingtomaketheofficial

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announcementtomorrow.Ineedyoutostay

untilthensothepressdoesn’tgetwindof

what’sgoingon.Afterthat,Idon’twantto

seeyourfaceforayear.Youhearme,

Woodwork?”

“Igetapassforthewedding,right?”

“Well,ofcourse,forthewedding.”

“AndChristmas?”

“Obviously.”

He

considered.

“What

about

your

birthday?”

“Well,Ahrendidsayhe’dcomeback,so

it’llprobablybeamarvelousparty.”

Henodded.“Okaythen.Ayearexceptfor

thosethreedays.”

“Perfect.Andinthemeantime,you’lljust

bedoingthethingyouwereborntodo,”I

saidwithashrug,asifthiswasallnothing.

Heshookhishead.“I’mgoingtobuild

something.I’mreallygoingtobuild

something.”

“Andyouwillchangelivesbecauseofit.”

392/467

“Thankyou,YourMajesty.”

“You’rewelcome.”Ikissedhischeekand

ranoutofthedoorbeforeIchangedmy

mind.“I’llseeyouinthestudiotomorrow.

I’llsenddetailsonceIhavethem.”

Inthehallway,Iheldmyhandtomy

stomachandtookadeepbreath.I’dmadea

choice.SowhydidIsuddenlyfeeloutof

control?

Ihurriedbacktotheoffice,gladtoseethateveryonewasonthemove,makingtomorrowcometogetherassmoothlyaspossible.

Everyoneitseemed,exceptforme.

“LadyBrice,canyoupleasegetErikfor

me?Ineedtospeakwithhimaboutthespe-

cificsoftomorrow.”

“Consideritdone.”

IPACEDTHEOFFICE’SSIDEparlor,waitingfor

himtocome.Everysecond,themassinmy

throatgrewbigger,threateningtotrapallthewordsIhadtosaybeneathit.

“YourMajesty?”hesaidquietly,andeven

thoughtherewerepeopleswarmingaround,

hedidn’tthinktwiceaboutsmilingatmelikeIwashissunandstars.

“Ineedtospeakwithyouabouttomorrow.

Wouldyouclosethedoors,please?”Itriedto

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keepmyvoiceeven,buthisexpression

showedheknewIwasholdingback.And

thatmadetheattemptatdiminishinghow

importantthiswasthatmuchharder.

“Areyouallright?”hewhispered,even

thoughwewerealone.

Iexhaled,tryingtokeepcalm.“Notquite.”

“Accordingtothenews,youhaveanunex-

pectedsuitor,”hesaidplainly.

Inodded.

“Howlonghasthisbeenaproblem?”

“LongerthanIknew.”

“Iimaginethishascausedyouundue

stress.”

“It’sdonesomuchmorethanthat.”Iswal-

lowed.“Becauseofthisissue,Iamforcedto

announcemyengagementtomorrow.”

“Oh.”Thetinywordheldaworldofshock.

“AndduetoKilehavingotherpursuitsthat

Icouldn’tignore,Iwillbeproposingto

Henri.Today.”

Atthathecouldn’tmusterawordatall.

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Ireachedforhishand,andhegaveitto

me.Hedidn’tevenlookangry,whichwould

havebeenfairsinceI’dbackedoutofnearly

everypromiseI’dmade.Hewas,quite

simply,onlysad.AfeelingIidentifiedwith

alltoowell.

“I’msureyouunderstandthatIwillhave

toleaveaftertomorrow,”hesaidquietly.

“I’llhaveNeenafindanothertranslator.

Youshouldn’tbeforcedtoreplaceyourself.”

Mybreathinghitched,andthetearscame.

“I’mplanningongoingwithinthehourto

seehim.Doyouthink…couldyoupleasenot

beintheroom?”

Henodded.“Ifyouhadaskedmetostay,it

mightbethefirsttimeItriedtorefuseyou.”

Westoodthere,quietlyholdinghands.

Maybeifwewerestill,nothingcouldchange.

“I’dpreparedmyself,”hesaid.“Iunder-

stoodwhatwascomingandstill—”

Thepainofstandingtherewatching

Eikko’sliptremblewasacute.

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Ifellintohim.“Eikko,Ineedyoutohear

it.Justonce,Ineedyoutoknowitwithout

doubt.Iloveyou.AndifIwasfree,ifIwasmyownperson,I’descapewithyounow.But

Maridwouldusemyabsenceasareasonto

takethethrone,andmypeople.”Ishookmy

head.“Ican’t…”

Hetookmyfaceinhishands,makingme

lookintohiseyes.Thoughtheybrimmed

withtears,theywereasbeautifullyclearas

ever.“Whataprivilegeitistocomein

secondplacetoyourpeople.Whataqueen

you’vebecome,thatyoucan’tbeartopart

yourselffromthem.”

Ipulledhimtome,kissinghimasifour

livesdependedonit.Maybeitwasn’tthe

prettiestkiss,withmoistureunderournoses

andmascaraonmycheeks,butitwastheen-

capsulationofalltheotheroneswe’dnever

gettohave.

Kilewasright.Itwasthelastkissesthat

mattered.

397/467

Isteppedback,wipingmyface.Ireally

wantedtobealadyinthismoment.I

reacheddown,slippinghisgreat-great-

grandmother’sringoffmyfinger.

“Don’tbesilly.”

“It’sanheirloom,Eikko.”

Hewrappedhishandaroundmine.“The

dayIgaveittoyou,Ihadnointentionoftakingitback.Icouldn’tgiveittoanyoneelse.”

Ismiledsadlyandputitbackinplace.

“Well,then.”Ireacheddownandpulledmy

signetringoffinstead.

“Eadlyn,thatisforroyalty.”

“Andyouwouldhavebeenanexcellent

prince.Fortherestofyourlife,you’llhaveproof.”

Westareddownatourrings.Theyweren’t

onourlefthands,butitwasascloseaswe’dget.Apartofmyheartwouldalwaysbe

lockedawayforEikko.

“Ihavetogo,”hesaid.“Heshouldbein

hisroom.”

398/467

Inodded.

Eikkogavemeafaintkissonmycheek

andwhisperedinmyear,“Iloveyou.Ihope

youhaveabeautifullife.”

Andthen,asifhecouldn’ttakeanother

second,heslippedbackoutthroughtheof-

fice,slidingthedoorclosedbehindhim.

Isatdown,grippingthearmofthecouch.

Ifeltpositivelysick.LikeImightfaint.Orvomit.Irantothedoorthatledstraightto

thehallway,dashingtomyroomasquickly

asIcould.

“Mylady?”EloiseaskedasIboltedpast

herandintothebathroom,heavingup

everythingI’deatentoday.

BetweenburstsofsicknessIwailed,furi-

ousandbrokenandjustsotired.

“Getitallout,”Eloisewhispered,coming

overwithadampcloth.“I’vegotyou.”

Shekneltbehindmeandwrappedher

armsaroundmystomach.Thepressurewas

surprisinglysoothing.

399/467

“Ican’timaginewhatit’sliketobeyou.

Everyonehavinganopinion,everyonehav-

ingarequest.Butwhenyou’rehere,you

screamandyoucryallyouwant,okay?We’ll

getyouthroughit.”

Isobbed,turningmyselfintoherchest.

Shedidn’tevensayaword,justheldmeasI

leteverythingfloodoutofmysystem.

“Thankyou,”Isaidwhenmybreathing

hadslowed.

“Anytime.Now,doyouneedtogetbackto

work?”

“IhavetogoproposetoHenri.”

Ifshewassurprised,shedidn’tshowit.

“Firstthingsfirst.Let’swashyourface.”

AndwiththatIbegantheslowprocessof

preparingmyselfforthefirststepoftherestofmylife.

ELOISEHELPEDMEPULLMYSELFtogether,andI

lookednothingshortofmagnificentwhenI

walkeddowntoHenri’sroom.JustasI’d

donewhenIthoughtI’dendupwithKile,I

remindedmyselfthatthiswasn’tabad

choice.Henriwouldbedevotedandkind,

andwhileourmeansofcommunication

mightbeunconventionalforawhile,itdidn’tmeanthatourlifetogetherwouldn’tbea

happyone.

401/467

Hisbutleransweredthedoorandkindly

usheredmein.Henriwasathistablewith

booksopenedandapitcherofteaathisdis-

posal.Hestoodwhenhesawme,bowingina

waythatcouldonlybedescribedasjoyful.

“Hellotoday!”

Igiggled,walkingoverwiththewide

woodenboxinmyarms.“Hello,Henri.”Iset

itdownonhistableandhuggedhim,andhe

brightenedatmyaffection.“What’sallthis?”

Itouchedhisbooks,takinginthepages.

Ofcourse,evenifhehadnohelp,hewas

studyinghisEnglish.Hegrabbedatanote-

bookandhelditup,pointing.

“Iwriteforyou.Icanread,yes?”

“Oh,yes,please.”

“Okay,okay.”Hetookadeepbreathand

smiledashehelduphispapers.“‘Dear

Eadlyn.IknowIcannotbesaying,butIam

thinkingofyoueachdays.Mywordsareno

goodyet,butmyheart,’”hesaid,touching

402/467

hischest,“‘feelswhatIcannotsaying.Even

inFinnish,Iwouldsaythembad.’”

Helaughedathimselfandshrugged,andI

smiled.

“‘Youhavebeautiful,talent,smartness,

andarenice.Ihopetoshowingyouhow

goodIthinkofyou.Also,morekissing.’”

Icouldn’tnotlaugh,andhewassohappy

toseemeingoodspirits,helookedlikehe

mightburstfromit.

“Stillworking,”hesaid,sittingthenote-

bookdown.“Um,IgettingErik?”

“No,”Isaid.“Justyou.”

Helookednervousattryingtocommunic-

atewithmeonhisown.Buteventhiswas

betterthanwe’deverdonebefore.Henod-

ded,rubbinghishandstogethertogetout

someofhisnervousenergy.

“Henri,youlikeme,yes?”

Henodded.“Yes.Likeyou.”

“Ilikeyou,too.”

Hesmiled.“Good!”

403/467

AndagainIfoundmyselflaughing.See,

Eadlyn,thiswouldbefine.

“Henri…Henri,wouldyoumarryme?”

Hesquintedforamomentbeforehiseyes

widenedinsurprise.

“Imarryyou?”

“Yes,ifyouwouldliketo.”

Hesteppedback,smilingasalways,but

therewassomethinginhisexpressionI

couldn’tname.Disbelief?Doubt?Butaftera

flickerofasecond,itdisappeared.

“Wait,wait.”Hedroppedtohisknees,

clutchingbothofmyhands.“Youwillmarry

me?”

“Yes.”

Helaughedandwenttokissingmyhands

overandover,finallystoppingandstaringatthemforawhile,likehecouldn’tbelievehe

wasgoingtoholdthemfortherestofhislife.

“Comehere,”Isaid,urginghimtostand.

404/467

Heembracedme,holdingmetight.Andas

sweetasallthiswas,Iwasfightingtheurgetocryagain.

“Youhavetogivemearing,”Isaid,and

openedtheboxonthetable,takingin

Henri’saudiblegasp.

Setinthebluevelvetweretwenty-fivedif-

ferentengagementrings,ranginginsizeand

colorbutallbefittingaqueen.

Hestaredatthemasecondbeforeturning

tome.“Ipickforyou?”

“Yes.”

Hemadeaface,alittleoverwhelmedwith

hisoptions.Henriranhisfingeroverthe

dreamy

combinations

of

garnet

and

amethystandlingeredoverthediamondsso

flatandwide,youcouldgoice-skatingon

them.Butthenhefoundalargepearl,setin

ablushingrosegoldandsurroundedbya

stringofdiamonds.Heheldituptohisface

andnodded.

“Foryou.”

405/467

Iheldoutmylefthand,andheslippedon

themassive,gorgeousring.

“Good,good?”heasked.

ThatwaswhatIwouldhavetobesatisfied

with.Notperfect.Notblissful.Butgood.

And,forme,aftereverymistakeI’dmade

alongtheway,thatshouldcertainlybe

enough.

Ismiled.“Good,good.”

“Yougotadelivery,”Eloiseannounced.

Ilookedatthepackage,notsurewhatit

was,asIhadn’tbeenexpectinganything.I

settheboxofringsbesideit,fanningoutmyfingers.

“Whatdoyouthink?”Iasked.

Eloise’seyeswidened.“I’veneverseen

anythinglikeit.”

“Well,theymadetwenty-fivedifferent

ringsforthis,alloneofakind.Abitoverthetop,butI’mgladthisonewasinthere.Easilyoneofmyfavorites.”

406/467

“Itlooksbeautifulonyou,miss.”She

smiledatme.“Isthereanythingelseyou

needorwouldyouratherbealone?”

“Alonefornow,Ithink.”

“Excellent.Callwhenyou’rereadyfordin-

ner,andI’llberightup.”

Inodded,andshedisappearedaroundthe

door,thehemofherdresshittingitasshe

left.

InevershouldhavedoubtedNeena.

Igrippedthebackofthechairatmytable,

tryingtotakethingsonebreathatatime.I’dnearlylostsomuch,butIhadtoremember

howmuchI’dgained.Iwasqueen,andIwas

engaged.I’dfinallylearnedwhatitwastoseeotherpeopleandwhatitmeanttoletother

peopleseeme.Istillhadsomuchtoaccom-

plish,somanythingsIwantedtodoformy

familyandformypeople.IhopedI’dfirmly

settledmyselfinaplacewhereIcoulddo

that.

407/467

Sighing,Icuriouslyunwrappedthethin

boxinfrontofme.Islidoffthelidand

gasped.

Staringbackatmewasabeautifulimage

ofmyfamilyoncoronationday.Osten

lookedlikehewasplottingsomethingmis-

chievousasalways,andAhrenwassohand-

some.AllKadenneededwasaswordinhis

hand,andtheimageofaperfectlygallant

princewouldhavebeencomplete.Iflipped

tothenextpicture,andwewerethereagain

inaslightlydifferentpose.Itorethroughthebox,takinginshotaftershot,beamingwith

happiness.LadyBriceclenchedmeinahug,

Kilelaughedashecradledmeinhisarms,

andtheLegersstoodwithahandoneachof

myshouldersasifIreallywastheir

daughter.

Thesemomentsfeltsofarawaynow.It

wasalmostasifIwaslookingatanothergirlinallthesephotos.Alittletimeandhope

wasallittooktochangeaperson.

408/467

WhenIgottothepictureswithEikko,they

stoodinstarkcontrasttoalltheothers.I’dtakenoffmycapeandhewasinhisvest,and

IrealizedthatIhadsubconsciouslyposedus

liketwopeopleinlove.Myhandrestedon

hischestasheheldontomywaist,andmy

headwastiltedslightlytowardhim,likehis

hearthadagravitationalpull.

Istaredatmyfavoritepictureforavery

longtime,thinkinghowamazingitwasthat

thephotographerhadcapturedthelightin

hiseyes.Justhoursafterthiswastaken,I’dstaredintothoseeyes,beenheldbythose

arms.HowremarkablewasitthatIhadthis

pictureatall?Haditnotbeenfortheothers,hemightnothaveevenwalkedoverwithme,

whisperingFinnishinmyear.Itoldmyself

thatI’dbeenluckywemetinthefirstplace.

HadIfoughtmyparents,hadHenrinotbeen

braveenoughtoapply,hadImovedmyhand

twoinchestotherightwhenIpulledouthis

envelope…

409/467

Itookthephotoandwalkedovertothe

drawerwhereI’dbeenhidingmytreasures.I

smiled,lookingdownatmylittlecollection

andrememberingthepasttwomonthswith

asenseofgratitude.

Henri’sshirtthathemadeintoanapron.

Kile’shideoustiethatpreventedworld

peace.Hale’spin,stabbedthroughascrapa

fabric,remindingmetokeepittogether.

Fox’sembarrassingstick-figuredrawing.

Gunner’spoemthatIreallydidn’tevenneed

onpaperbecauseIcouldn’tforgetitifItried.

ThesewerethethingsI’dsaved.

Istoodthere,thephotohoveringabove

thedrawer.Asmuchofatreasureasthispic-

turewas,Icouldn’tdropitin.Therewasno

wayIcouldputmyEikkoinabox.

BEFOREWHATWOULDBETHEmostimportant

dayofmylifecouldevenbegin,Iwas

summonedtotheWomen’sRoom.Mymoth-

ercouldhaveheldcourtanywhere,andIstilldidn’tunderstandwhatmadesomemassive

parlorherfavoriteplacetodoit.Allthe

same,shehadcalled,andIwascoming.

MissLucywasthere,andsowasAunt

May.Ididn’tknowwholetslipthenewsto

her,butIwassothrilledInearlybolted

411/467

acrosstheroomtoher.ButthenIsawthat

mybelovedauntwasnotthereasonI’dbeen

called.MissMarleewasweepingintoMom’s

shoulder.

Shelookedupandzeroedinonme.“Ifyou

didn’twanttomarryhim,fine,but

why—WHY—didyoubanishhim?HowamI

supposedtolivewithoutmychildren?”

“Josiewillstillbehere,”Iremindedher

gently.

Sheheldupafingeratme.“Don’tget

smart.Youmaybequeen,butyouarestill

justachild.”

Mom’seyesdartedbetweenus,unsure

whattodo:defendadaughterwhowasold

enoughtodefendherselfbutherdaughter

nonetheless,orcomfortafriendwhoseson

wasleavingherwithverylittlewarning—a

painsheunderstoodintimately.

“MissMarlee,youhavetoletmeexplain.”

Icrossedtheroom,watchinghercrumplein-

toachair.“IloveKile.He’sbecomemore

412/467

precioustomethanIevercouldhaveexpec-

ted.Andthetruthis,hewouldhavestayed

forme.Hemighthaveevenstayedforyou.

Butdidyoureallywantthat?”

“Yes!”sheinsisted,lookingupatmewith

redeyes.

“Italmostliterallybrokemymother’s

heartwhenAhrenleft.Itbrokemine.Does

thatmeanheshouldhavestayedhere

forever?”

Shedidn’tanswerthat.IsawthatMom’s

eyesweredowncast,andshepursedherlips,

likemaybeshewasonlyunderstandingthis

herselfnow.

“Iknowwe’renotsupposedtotalkabout

thethingsthatmakeusuncomfortable.Like

howyourhandsendedupcoveredinscars,”

Isaid,staringMissMarleedown.“Butwe

needtotalkaboutit.It’sremarkablewhat

youdidforlove,andIamjealousofand

awedbyyou.”

413/467

Herfacepulledtogether,tearsspilling

again,andIfoughttokeepmyselftogether.Ihadtoomanypeoplecountingonmetoday.

“Weallknowwhatyoudid,andweall

knowhowyouwererestored,andIunder-

standthatyouthinkyouaresomehowper-

manentlyindebtedtoourfamily,butyou’re

not.MissMarlee,whatelsedoyouthinkwe

couldwantfromyou?”

Shestillsaidnothing.

“Askmymother.Shedoesn’twantyou

trappedhere.Youcangowithyoursonifyou

wantto.Youcouldtraveltheworldasdignit-

ariesifyoulike.Tothinkthatbecauseyour

lifewasspareditisnolongeryoursisalie.

Andtopassthatburdenontoyourchildren?

Tomakeagifted,talented,passionateyoung

manspendhisbestyearscoopedupbehind

thesewalls?That’scruel.”

MissMarlee’sheadfellintoherhands.

“Youcouldhavegone,”Momwhisperedto

her.“Ithoughtyouknew.”

414/467

“Itdidn’tfeellikethat,notforme.Carter

andIwouldhavediedyearsagoifitwasn’t

foryouandMaxon.Ididn’tfeellikeIcould

evernotbeintheprocessofthankingyou.”

“YoubefriendedmewhenIwasastranger.

Youtalkedmedownfromwalkingoutofthe

Selection.YouheldbackmyhairwhenIhad

morningsickness.Remember,becauseital-

wayshappenedintheafternoon?”

Theybothlaughed.

“WhenIwasscaredofthisjob,youtold

meIcoulddoit.Youhelpedstitchupabul-

letwound,forcryingoutloud.”

Iwasabouttoaskaboutthatonebut

chosetoletitgo.

MissLucywalkedoverandkneltbeside

MissMarlee,takingherhand.“Wehavea

verytangledpast,don’twe?”shesaid.Mom

andMissMarleesmiled.“We’vemademis-

takesandkeptsecretsanddoneplentyof

foolishthingsalongwiththegood.Butlook

415/467

atus.We’regrownwomen.Andlookat

Eadlyn.”

Thethreeofthemdidjustthat.

“Shouldshebelookingatherselftwenty

yearsfromnowboundbyeverylittlelapsein

judgment?Feelingchainedbythem?”

Iswallowed.

“Shouldwe?”MissLucyconcluded.

MissMarlee’sshouldersslumped,andshe

pulledMomandMissLucyclose.

Iwatchedthis,feelingaknotinmythroat.

Adaywouldcomewhenmymotherwould

nolongerbehere,whenmyauntcouldno

longervisit,andtheseladieswouldmove

away.ButthentherewouldbemeandJosie

andNeena,withdaughtersandcousinsand

friends.Wewouldlivetogetherandweave

ourlivesintooneanother’sandholdontoa

sacredsisterhoodthatonlyahandfulofwo-

meneverexperienced.

AndIwasgladthatmymomhadchosen

tocomehere,acrossthecountry,tothe

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homeofastranger,andtrustedagirlona

planeandbefriendedthegirlwhodrewher

baths,andthatnomatterifandwhenthey

parted,theywouldneverbeseparated.Not

really.

THESTUDIOHADBEENGIVENamakeover.While

discussingmyengagementinfrontofan

audienceoffriends,family,andstaffmem-

bersasIwasbroadcastliveacrossthecoun-

trywasn’texactlythelevelofintimacyI’d

beenaimingfor,sometimesagirljusthasto

takewhatshecanget.

Isearchedtheroom,lookingforMomand

Dad.Ineededtoseethem,toseetheirsmilesatmychoice.Iftheywerehappyandcalm,

418/467

thenIcouldbe,too.Buttheyweren’there,

yet.Kaden,however,was.

Iwatchedfromthedoor,seeinghimstare

acrosstheroomasifhe’dbeenslightlybe-

witched.HespookedalittlewhenIcameup

nexttohim.

“Youokay?”

Heclearedhisthroatandlookeddownat

hisfeet,blushing.“Yeah,everything’sgreat.

Justhangingout.”

IfollowedhisgazetoseeifIcouldfigure

outwhathe’dbeenlookingat,anditin-

stantlybecamealltooclear.Josiehadgiven

uponelaboratehairstylesandexcessivejew-

elry.She’dabandonedheavymakeupand

showygowns.Lookingathernow—hair

slightlycurled,thehintofglossonherlips,andanage-appropriatebluedress—it

seemedshewasfinallysteppingintoher

shoesinsteadofmine.

“Josie’s

really

pretty

tonight,”

I

commented.

419/467

“Oh?Ihadn’tnoticed.Butnowthatyou

mentionit,yeah,shelooksnice.”

MissMarlee,seemingbreezyandpeaceful,

saidsomethingtoMr.Carter,andJosie

laughed,thesoundstillalittletooloudformyearsbutprettynonetheless.

“Sinceyou’renotoncamerafortheshow,

maybeyoushouldgositwithher.Itlooks

likeshe’sgotanopenseat.”IpeekeddownatKaden,watchingalittlesmiletwitchontohisfacebeforehecovereditbackupagain.

“Isuppose.Imean,Idon’treallyhave

planstositwithanyoneelse.”

Hewalkedovertoher,straighteninghis

suitthewholeway,andIfoundmyselfdying

toknowhowallthatwouldunfold.

“Eadlyn.”

IturnedtoMom’svoice,happytoseeher

comingoverwithopenarms.

“Howareyoufeeling?”

“Totallywonderfulandnotatallterrified,”

Ijoked.

420/467

“Don’tworry.Henri’sagoodchoice.An

unlikelyone,butverygoodstill.”

Ipeekedtothebackoftheroomwhere

EikkowasstraighteningHenri’stie,andthey

spokebackandforth,theirlipsajumbleof

shapesIcouldn’tread.

“What’sfunny,though,isthere’snothing

tobejealousabout.”

IlookedupatMom,confused.“Jealous?”

“Earliertodaywhenyouwerespeakingto

Marlee,yousaidyouwerejealousofwhat

shedidforlove.”

“DidIsaythat?”Iswallowed.

“Youdid.AndIwonderwhyyou’dbejeal-

ousofsomeonesufferingtogettotheperson

sheloveswhenitseemslikeaverysweetboy

iswaltzingrightintoyourarms.”

Ifroze.HowcouldIspinthisaround?

“Maybeabetterwordwouldhavebeenad-

mire.It’saverybravethingshedid.”

Momrolledhereyes.“Ifyouwanttolieto

me,that’sfine,butI’dsuggestyoustopdoing

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ittoyourselfbeforeyoufindyou’reinapositionyoucan’tgetoutof.”

Withthatshewalkedon,takingaseatnext

toMissLucyandGeneralLeger.Thestudio

wasusuallycold,butIfeltsurethatthechillthatwentthroughmewasn’trelatedtothe

temperature.

“Andyou’llwaitrighthere,”theproducer

said,draggingHenritostandbesideme.“We

stillhavesometime,butdon’tgorunning

off.HasanyoneseenGavril?”sheshoutedto

nooneinparticular.

HenripointedtothetiethatEikkohad

justfixed.“Isgood?”

“Yes.”Ibrushedathisshouldersand

sleeves.IlookedpasthimtoEikko,whohad

doneanamazingjobatpullinghimselfto-

gether.IhopedIappearedascalmonthe

outsideashedid.InsideitfeltlikeIwasasweaterwithaloosestringbeingpulledand

pulleduntilI’dbenothingbutaknotonthe

floor.

422/467

IwalkedaroundHenriundertheguiseof

double-checkinghissuitfromallangles.I

droppedmyarmasIpassedEikko,andour

fingersmetinakissbeforeImovedbackto

standinfrontofmyfiancé.

Thethrillrunningupmyskinwaselectri-

fying,soIclaspedmyhandstogetherinfrontofme,focusingonthefeelingofmyengagementringagainstthebackofmyfingers.In

myperiphery,Eikko’sfiguredisappeared

throughthecrowd,presumablysohecould

findhisownlevelofsanityinthismoment.

“So,”Iasked,facingHenri,“areyou

ready?”

Helookedatme,hisusuallyjubilantex-

pressiondim.“Areyou?”

Iwantedtosayyes,andIcouldhearthe

wordinmyhead,butIcouldn’tmanageto

workitdowntomymouth.SoIjustsmiled

andnodded.

Hesawrightthroughme.

423/467

Takingmyhand,hepulledmetowardthe

backoftheroom,towardEikko.

“Envoi,”Henrisaid,histonemoresolemnthanI’deverheardit.

Eikko’seyesflashedbetweenus.“Miksi

ei?”

“Iamslowhere,”Henrisaid,pointingto

hismouth.“Nothere.”Hepointedtohis

eyes.

Mybreathingspedup,knowingmylife

wasallabouttofallapart,andterrifiedof

whatmighthappenafteritdid.

“Youarelove,”hesaid,motioningbetween

us.

WhenEikkostartedtoshakehishead,

Henrisighedandpickeduphisrighthand,

pointingtothesignetring.Andthenhe

pickedupmine,whichstillworeEikko’s.

“Eikko,pleaseexplaintohim.Ihavetofol-

lowthroughwithmySelection.Tellhimhe’ll

neverneedtodoubtme.”

424/467

Eikkorattledoffmyappealquickly,but

Henri’sexpressionremainedundeterred.

“Please,”Ipleaded,grabbingontohisarm.

Hisexpressionwasincrediblysweetwhen

hespoke.“Isayno.”Hepickedupmyhand

andgentlypulledoffmyengagementring.

Theroomstartedturningfuzzyatthe

edges.Iwasminutesawayfromalivean-

nouncement,andI’djustbeenjilted.

Henrigrabbedmyface,lookingdeeplyin-

tomyeyes.“Loveyou,”hevowed.“Love

you.”ThenheturnedandclutchedEikko’s

arm.“Andloveyou.Mygoodfriend.Very

goodfriend.”

Eikkoswallowed,lookingreadytocry

fromHenri’swords.Throughmostofthelast

twomonths,allthey’dhadwereeachother.

Forgetwhatthismomentmeantforme.

Whatdiditmeanforthem?

Henripulledusbothinclose.“Youbeing

together.Imakeyourcake!”

425/467

Despitemyworries,Ilaughed.Lookingin-

toEikko’seyes,Iachedtoletgoandgivemyhearttheonethingittrulywanted.ButI

couldn’tgetpastmyfear.

Iscannedtheroom,searchingfortheone

personIneededrightnow.WhenIfound

him,Iturnedtomyboys.“Waithere.

Please.”

Iranacrossthestudio.“Daddy!Dad,I

needyourhelp.”

“Sweetheart,what’swrong?”

Itookadeepbreath.“Idon’twantto

marryHenri.IwanttomarryEikko.”

“Who?”

“Erik.Histranslator.I’minlovewithhim,

andIwanttomarryhim.Andeventhough

hehateshavinghispicturetaken,Iwantto

takeathousandsoIcanputhimonmywall

andwakeuptouslaughingeveryday,just

likeyoudowithMom.AndIwanthimto

makemedoughnuts,justlikehismomdoes

forhisdad.EvenifIhavetoletoutallmy

426/467

dresses.AndIwantustofindourownthing

ormaybefindoutthatourownthingis

everything,becauseIfeellikeifIhavehim,eventhestupidstuffwouldmatter.”

Hestoodthere,mouthslightlyagape.

“ButawordfromyouandI’llnevermen-

tionitagain.Iwanttodotherightthing,andIknowyou’dneverletmedo

somethingstupid.TellmewhatIshoulddo,andIwon’t

questionit,Dad.”

Helookedupattheclock,hiseyesstill

widewithshock.“Eadlyn,youonlyhavesev-

enminutes.”

Ifollowedhisgaze,andhewasright.It

wasseven’til.

“Sohelpme.Tellmewhattodo!”

Afterastunnedsecond,heturnedbackto

meandpulledmeoutthestudiodoor.

“Weallknowthatyouwantedtomovefast

becauseofMarid,andIthinkthere’ssome

valuetoyourlineofthought.Butyoucan’t

letonebullydecidetherestofyourlife.

427/467

Trustme.Youdon’thavetoannounceany-

thingtoday.”

“That’snotthepoint.Iwanttobewith

Eikkosomuchithurts,butI’vedoneso

manyselfish,idioticthingsinthepastthatIfearthepeoplewon’tforgivemeifIbreak

eventhetiniestrule.Ican’tbeartoletthemdown,Dad.Ican’tbeartoletyoudown.”

“Me?Letmedownoverasillylittlerule?”

Heshookhishead.“Eadlyn,youcomefrom

alonglineoftraitors.Youcouldn’tletme

down.”

“What?”

Hesmiled.“Yourbrotherrunningoffto

Francewastechnicallyenoughtostartawar

over.Ithinkheknewthat.Diditstophim?”

Ishookmyhead.

“Yourmother,”hesaidwithalaugh.“She

conspiredwiththeItaliangovernmentto

fundtheNorthernrebels,amovethatwould

havesenthertohergravehadmyfather

foundout.”

428/467

Istoodthere,stunned.

“Andme?I’vebeenkeepingsomeonewho

oughttobedeadaliveforovertwentyyears.”

“TheWoodworks?”Iguessed.

“Ha!No,Iforgotaboutthem,thoughoffi-

ciallytheywerepardoned.It’sactually

someonemuchmoredangerousintheeyes

ofthemonarchy.”

“Dad,Idon’tunderstand.”

Hesighed,lookingupanddownthehall,

checkingforspyingeyes,beforequicklyun-

buttoninghisshirt.“I’mafraidthere’sonly

onewaytoexplainthis.”Heturnedaround

andswiftlyshovedhisshirtdownalongwith

hissuitcoat.

IgaspedinhorrorasItookinmyfather’s

back.Hewascoveredinmarks,somewide,

asifthey’dhealedwithoutanytreatment,

andsomeskinnyandpuckered.Theredidn’t

appeartobeanyuniformitytothemarksex-

ceptthattheyallmusthavecomefromthe

samecaneorwhip.

429/467

“Daddy…Daddy,whathappenedtoyou?”

“Myfatherhappenedtome.”Hepulledhis

shirtbackonandbuttoneditasfastashe

could,speakinginarush.“SorryInevertookyoutothebeach,honey.Ijustcouldn’tdoit.”

Myposturesank.Ofallthethingstoapo-

logizefor.“Idon’tunderstand.Whydidhe

dothattoyou?”

“Tokeepmeinline,tokeepmequiet,to

makemeabetterleader…hehadamyriad

ofreasons.Butthereareonlytwoofthese

beatingsyouneedtoknowabout.Thefirstis

onethathappenedafteryourmotherpro-

posedweeliminatethecastes.”

Heshookhishead,almostsmilingashe

remembered.“ShechosetosaythisonaReportwhileshewasstillintheSelection.Ofcoursemyfather,whoalreadyhatedher,saw

thisasathreattohiscontrol.Whichitwas.

Suchasuggestionistreasonous.LikeIsaid,

itrunsinthefamily.Iworriedhewould

430/467

punishher,soIlethimtakeitoutonme

instead.”

“Oh,mygoodness.”

“Indeed.ThatwasthelastbeatingIever

endured,andforthelifeofme,I’llneverregretit.I’dtakeitahundredtimesoverfor

her.”

I’dneverknownaboutthat.AllI’dever

knownwasthattheytookoncasteelimina-

tiontogether.Somanyoftheunpleasantde-

tailsoftheirhistoryhadbeenglossedover.

Therewasplentyofawfulalongwiththe

wonderful.

“Ialmosthatetoask,butwhatwasthe

otheroneIneededtoknowabout?”

Hesnappedthelastofhisbuttonsand

sighed.“Thefirstone.”

Iswallowed,unsureifIwantedtohear

thisstoryornot.

“Yousee,myfatherwasaveryconceited

man.Hethoughttheworldowedhim

everythingbecausehewasking.And,really,

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hehadnoreasontobeunhappy.Hehad

power,awonderfulhome,awifewhoadored

him,andhisveryownsontocarryonthe

line.Butitwasneverenough.”

Hiseyesstaredunfocused,andIwatched

him,stillnotunderstanding.“Ialwaysknew

whenhismistresswascoming.He’dgivemy

motheragiftearlierintheday,asifhewaspayingforhissinsbeforehecommitted

them.Then,atdinner,he’dfillherwineglassoverandoveruntilshewas

readytopass

out.And,ofcourse,shekeptherquartersin

theotherwing.Iassumethatwashisidea,

nothers.Ican’timaginehereverintention-

allyseparatingherselffrommyfather.Genu-

inely,sheworshippedhim.

“Anyway,IwaselevenorsowhenIwas

walkingthroughthepalaceandcaughther

leavingonenight,hairamessandacape

overhershouldersasifshecouldcoverup

whatshe’ddone.Iknew.Iknewwhyshewas

there,andIhatedherforit.MorethanI

432/467

hatedhim,whichwasunfair.Assoonasshe

wasgone,Iwenttomyfather.Hewasinhis

robe,drunkandsweaty.AndIsaidto

him—I’llneverforgetit—Isaid,‘Youcannot

letthatwhoreinhereagain.’AsifIcouldtellthekingwhattodo.

“Hegrabbedmebymyarmsohardhedis-

locatedmyshoulder.Heputmeonthefloor

andcanedmeacrossthebackIdon’tknow

howmanytimes.Iwassodizzywithpain,I

passedout.Iwokeupinmyroomwithmy

arminasling.AsIcameto,mybutlersaidIshouldn’troughhousewiththeguards,thatI

wastooyoungtoconsiderthemplaymates.”

Dadshookhishead.“Idon’tknowwhogot

firedorworsetomakethatstoryseemlegit,

butIknewIwassupposedtokeepquiet.And

Iwassosmall,Ididn’tdarerisktellinganyone.AsIgotolder,Ihiditbecauseofshame.

Andthen,somehowinmyhead,Iturnedit

intosomethingtobeproudof.Ienduredthis

sufferingalone,withoutsupport,andthat

433/467

wassomethingadmirable.Ofcourse,it

wasn’t.Itwasstupid,butwemakeexcuses

forourselveswhenwe’resmall.”

Hegavemeaweaksmile.

“I’msosorry,Dad.”

“It’sokay.It’smademeastrongerperson

and,Ihope,abetterparent.IhopeI’vedonerightbyyou.”

Myeyeswelled.“Youhave.”

“Good.Well,toansweryourquestion,a

fewyearslaterIthoughtmyfatherreallyhadgottenridofhismistress.AsIsaid,Iknew

whenhewasplanningtobringher,andI

watchedforhimtogointotheoldroutine

andevensnuckoutseveralnightsjusttobe

sure.Shewasgoneformonthsandmonths,

andthen,oneday,thereshewas,walking

downthehallwayasifsheownedtheplace.

“Iwasfilledwithsomuchangeratthis

woman,iratethatshehadthegalltoshow

herfacewhilemymothersleptjustaround

thecorner.SoIstoppedherandtoldher

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somethingtothateffect.Shecockedher

headandsmirkedatme,likeIwasabug,

likeIwasnothing.Thensheloweredherface

tomyearandwhispered,‘I’lltellyourlittlesisteryousaidhello.’Andshewalkedaway,

leavingmecompletelygobsmacked.Imust

havestoodthereforasolidtenminutes,too

stunnedtomove.

“Didshesaythatsimplytomakeadigat

me?DidIreallyhaveahalfsisterIdidn’t

knowabout?Iwasn’tgoingtobegherforan-

swers,anditwasclearthatIcouldn’tgoto

myfather.Itwasn’tuntilafterhediedthatIcouldevenattempttolookfor

her.”

Heswallowed.“Here’sthething,though.

Illegitimatechildrenofaroyalfamilymem-

berarenotallowedtolive.”

“What?Why?”

“Ithinkbecausetheymightcauseathreat

totheroyalline.Civilwarorpoliticalunrestdoesnooneanygood.Evennow,lookatthe

troubleMaridhasmade.Sointhepastwe

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eliminatedthosethreatsassoonastheywere

discovered.”Hesaidallthiscoldly,discon-

nectedinaway.

“Sodidyoukillher?”

Hesmiledtohimself.“No.Iwasen-

chantedwithherthemomentIlaideyesher.

Shewasjustachild,andshehadnoidea

whoherfatherwas.Itwasn’therfaultshe’d

beenbornhalfroyal.SoItookherawayfrom

hermother,kepthernearme,andhavebeen

protectinghereversince.”

Hefinallyriskedmeetingmyeyes.

“LadyBrice?”Iasked.

“LadyBrice.”

Ididn’tknowwhattosay.Ihadanother

aunt.Andshe’ddoneasmuchformeasany-

oneelseinmyfamilyrecently.Morethan

some,really.Iwasindebtedtoher.

“Ifeelbadkeepingherintheshadows,”he

admitted.

“Iknow.Ifshehasroyalblood,Ifeellike

shedeservesmore.”

436/467

“It’snotpossible.Andsheunderstands

that.She’sthankfulenoughtobehere,”he

answered.Andthoughwebothknewthe

truthofit,Icouldseewedidn’tagreethatitwassatisfactory.“Soyousee,Ihavecommittedtreasoneverysingledayforthelast

twentyyears.Yourmotherhas,yourbrother

has.IdaresayKadenmightbetheonlyone

whomakesitoutwithouteverbreakinga

rule.”

Ismiledatthetruthtothat,dreadingjust

howmanyOstenwoulddestroy.

“Breakthestupidrule,Eadlyn.Marrythe

manyoulove.Ifhe’sgoodenoughforyouto

approveof,thenIcertainlydo.Andifthe

peopledon’t,thatcanbetheirproblem.Be-

causewhoareyou?”

“I’mEadlynSchreave,andnooneinthe

worldisaspowerfulasme,”Iblurted

withoutthought.

Henodded.“Damnrightyouare.”

437/467

Theproducerburstthroughthedoor.

“Thankgoodness!Youhavetenseconds.

Run!”

IBOLTEDINTOTHEROOM,searchingforEikko.Icouldn’tseehimthroughthethrongof

peoplewho’dbeenscurryingaroundhunting

forme.

Itrippedontothestageasthelightonthe

cameraturnedred,andIbrushedmyhair

outofmyfaceasIbeganspeakingwithabso-

lutelynoideawheremywordswouldtake

me.

439/467

“Goodevening,Illéa.”Ibrokealltherules

I’dlearnedaboutpublicspeaking.Mypos-

turewasatrocious,mytonewasuneven,and

Ididn’tbotherlookingintothecamerabe-

causeIwastoobusysearchingforEikko.

“Wehaveabitofasurpriseforyoutonight.

OnthisspecialeditionoftheReport,Ihaveanimportantannouncement.”

FinallyIspottedhim,halftuckedbehind

Henri.

“PleasejoinmeinwelcomingMr.Eikko

Koskinentothestage.”

Theroomapplauded,andIstoodthere

hopinghe’dbravethecamerasforme.Eikko

swallowedandstraightenedhistieasHenri

pattedhisback,urginghimtomove.

Itookhishandandinvitedhimtostand

besideme,feelingalittlelight-headedand

worriedthathemaybefeelingthesameway.

“Someofyoumightrememberthisgentle-

manfromaReportafewweeksago.HeisSirHenri’stranslator,andsincehisarrivalat

440/467

thepalace,hehasprovenhimselfintelligent,kind,honorable,funny,andadozenother

thingsIdidn’trealizeIwanteduntilIsaw

theminhim.”Ilookedover,andsomething

abouthisexpression,thehopefulnessinhis

eyes,calmedme.Iforgotaboutthecameras.

“Assuch,I’vefallenhopelesslyinlovewith

him.”

“AndIwithyou,”heansweredsoquietly,

noonemayhaveevennoticed.

“EikkoPetteriKoskinen,wouldyoudome

theextraordinaryhonorofbecomingmy

husband?”

Heletoutonebeautiful,disbelieving

laugh,andtheworldstoodstill.Therewas

nofallingtokneesorscramblingforrings.Itwasjusthimandme.

Andmillionsofpeoplewatching.

Heturned,andIfollowedhiseyes,know-

inghewaslookingforHenri.Hisfriend

stoodtherewavinghishandsandmouthing

yesexaggeratedly,wild-eyed.

441/467

“Yes,”Eikkofinallysaid,laughingashe

answered.

Iflewathim,wrappingmyarmsaround

hisneckandpullinghiminforakiss.Iwas

vaguelyawareofapplauseandwhistles,but

thejoyfulpoundingofmyheartdrownedout

mostofit.

AcornerofmymindtoldmeIshouldbe

worriedabouthowthecountrymightreact,

howthingswouldunfoldaftertonight.But

therestofmesilencedthatworry,andI

knew,withpureandperfectcertainty,that

I’dfoundmysoulmate.

Ipulledbacktolookathim,indescribably

happy.

Afterasecond,confusionsettledonhis

face.“So…whatdoIdonow?”

Ismiled.“Juststandtothesideforamo-

ment.Ihavesomethingelsetotakecareof.

AndthensomuchIwanttotalktoyou

about.”

“Samehere.”

442/467

Theclappingdimmed,andIstaredinto

thecamera,toocontenttobeafraidany-

more,andtoldmypeoplethetruestthingI

knew.

“IamawarethatI’veonlybeenyourqueen

forafewdays,butinthatshortwhile,and

foralongtimebefore,Ihavebeenverywor-

riedaboutmyplaceinyourhearts.I’mnot

sureI’lleverunderstandwhyI’vecomeup

againstsuchdisapproval,butI’monlynow

seeingthatIshouldn’tcare.Mylifeshould

bewhollymine,notyours.

“And,conversely,yourlivesshouldbe

whollyyours,notmine.”

InthatmomentIfeltthemoodinthe

roomshift,andmaybeIwascrazy,butitfeltlikeitwasbiggerthanwhatIcouldseeinthestudio.

“Theselasttwomonthshavebeenawhirl-

windforme.I’vemadeitthroughnearlylos-

ingmymother,havingmybelovedtwin

moveabroad,beingcrownedqueen,and

443/467

finishingaSelectionnoneofusexpectedme

tohave.”Ismiled,thinkingofhowfastitallhappened,howitshouldhavetornmeapart

butdidn’t.

“Throughallthis,someofyouhavebeen

sympathetic,whileothershavefeltignored.

Somehavebeensupportive,andothershave

beenaggressive.UntilrecentlyIwouldhave

saidthosefeelingshadnofoundation,butI

amsurenowthatisuntrue.

“BeforetheSelectionIlivedmylifewithin

asmallcircleofacquaintances.Iadmit,my

greatestconcernintheworldwasmyown

comfort,andtomaintainitIwaswillingto

sacrificeavastpoolofthings,includingthewell-beingofsomanyaroundme.I’mnot

proudtotellyouthis.”

Ifocusedonthecarpetforamoment,

needingtosteadymyself.“Butmeetingthese

youngmenshowedmeaworldbeyondthe

wallsthatIenclosedmyselfwithin.ItisonlyinthesepastfewweeksthatIhavelearned

444/467

howlittleIknewaboutmyowncountry.

Budgetsandproposalscangivemeablue-

printofyourneeds,butithasbeenseeing

youface-to-facethathasshownmehow

muchmoreyouareupagainst.

“Assuch”—Itookadeepbreath—“Icome

beforeyounowtoannouncethatIlléawill

becomeaconstitutionalmonarchy.”

Thereweregaspsandmurmursaround

theroom,andIgavethemamomentto

settle,imaginingthosewatchingathome

neededthesameconsideration.

“Pleasedon’tseethisasmeshirkingmy

duties.Intruth,IknownowthatIloveyou

toomuchtoattempttodothisjobalone.

Evenwithapartner,”Isaid,peekingoverto

Eikkoandsmiling,“itwouldbefartoogreat

foranyone,ashasbeenshownbytheyoung

deathsandhealthissuesofmypredecessors.

Iwilldomypartsothatyoucandoyours.

“Forsolongnowwehereinthepalace

havesearchedforwaystomakeyourlives

445/467

better,happier,onlytofindthatthereisnowayforustodothat.Yourlivesneedtobeinyourhands.Onlythenwillweseethechange

somanyofyouhavewaitedthroughgenera-

tionstosee.

“Iwillfindasuitableprimeministerinthe

interim,andwewillplantoholdproperelec-

tionswithinthenexttwoyears.Icannotbe-

gintoexpresshoweagerIamtoseewhat

youhaveinstoreforourcountry.”

“I’msuretherewillbemanyquestionsand

hiccupsaswereinventourcountry,but

pleaseknowthatweintheroyalfamilyare

onyourside.Icannotgovernyourheartsany

morethanyoucangovernmine.Ithinkitis

timeforallofustoseekoutabrighterand

betterfuture.”

Ismiled,notfeelingfearoranxiety,buta

senseofpeace.Ifanyofushadstoppedwor-

ryingabouthowwelookedlikewewereperformingandfocusedonhowwewere

446/467

actuallyperforming,wewouldhavecometo

thisconclusionlongago.

“Thankyousomuchforyoursupport.For

me,formyfamily,andformyfiancé.Ilove

you,Illéa.Goodevening.”

Iwatchedasthelightsonthecameras

wentout,andIsteppedoffthesettoaflurryofshouts.Theadviserswereangry,obviously,turningtomyfatheranddemanding

answers.

“Whyareyouyellingatme,youfools?”he

calledbackatthem.“She’syourqueen,for

goodness’sake.Askher.”

IturnedtoEikko.

“Areyouallright?”

Helaughed.“Ihaveneverbeenhappieror

moreterrified.”

“Thatsumsitupprettywell.”

“Hey!”Kilecalled,withHenricomingup

behindhimtoembraceEikko.Astheybegan

celebrating,Imovedaway.Therewasmuch

morethatneededtobetakencareof.

447/467

Ielbowedmywaypastconfusedandirate

advisers,dialingafamiliarnumberonthe

phoneinthebackofthestudio.

Maridpickedupinstantly.“Whatdidyou

justdo?”hescreamed.

“Iuninvitedyoufromanyparticipationin

myreign.”

“Doyourealizehowstupidthatwas?”

“WhatIrealizedwasthatsomethingper-

fectlynormalcompletelyhorrifiedyouafew

weeksago.Itmakessensenow.Whywould

youwantpowerinanyone’shandsbut

yours?”

“Ifyouthinkthiswillbethelastyou’ve

heardfromme—”

“IndeedIdo.Formyearisnowcloserto

mypeople,soIhavenoneedofyou.Good-

bye,sir.”

Ismiled,positivelyblissful,nowknowing

thisveryimportantthing:mycountrycould

neverbetakenfrommenow;I’dhappilygiv-

enitaway.Mypeoplewantedhappinessas

448/467

muchasIdid,andIwassurewewereall

donewithpeopletryingtoliveourlivesfor

us.

“Eadlyn!”LadyBricecalled,rushinginto

me.“Youbrilliant,brilliantgirl!”

“You’lldoit,right?”

“Dowhat?”

“Beprimeminister.It’sjustuntilwehave

elections,butstill.”

Shechuckled.“I’mnotsureI’mthebest

personforthejob.Besides,thereare—”

“Comeon,AuntBrice.”

Forasplitsecondshelookedabsolutely

horrified.Thenhereyesswamwithtears.“I

neverthoughtI’dgettohearthosewords.”

Ireachedforher,embracingthiswoman

who’dbecomeoneofmygreatestconfid-

antes.Itwasstrangebecause,eventhough

I’dneverlosther,holdinghernowfeltalotlikegettingsomethingback.Likewhen

Ahrencameforthecoronation.

449/467

“Oh,mygoodness,IhavetocallAhren!”I

exclaimed.

“We’lladdthattothelistofthingstodo.

Getengaged,check.Changethecountry,

check.What’snextontheagenda?”

Ilookedacrosstheroom,watchingmy

fathershakeEikko’shandandMomreachup

tokisshischeek.

“Changingmylife.”

IT’SAFUNNYTHINGTObetheproductofafairy-taleromance.It’sanotherthingtothinkyou

mightfindoneyourself.Youcanreadthe

storiesandwatchthemovies,andyoucan

thinkyouknowhowit’sallsupposedto

unfold.

Butthetruthis,loveisasmuchfateasitisplanning,asmuchabeautyasitisadisaster.

Findingaprincemightmeankissingalot

offrogs.Orkickingalotoffrogsoutofyour

451/467

house.Fallingmightmeanrunningheadfirst

intosomethingyoualwayswanted.Ordip-

pingyourtoeintosomethingyou’vebeen

scaredofyourwholelife.Happilyeverafter

couldbewaitinginafieldamilewide.Ora

windowasnarrowassevenminutes.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

OKAY,Y’ALL.IFEELLIKEbythispointIcouldgiveyouapopquizonthepeoplewhoend

uponmyacknowledgmentspageandyou

wouldaceit.YoufollowmyagentonTwitter

andtagmypublicistonTumblrandthink

myeditorismysistereventhoughsheisn’t.

Youalsoaskaboutmyhubbyandkiddos

whenIdosignings,becausethey’vestarted

matteringtoyou,too.Solet’sjustkeepthissimple.

Thanks.

Tothearmyofpeoplewhomakethebooks

beautiful,tothefriendsandfamilywhokeep

megoing,andtoyou.Thisserieshasbeen

therideofalifetime,andifweneverhave

453/467

anythingasmuchfunasthis,I’llstillbe

happy.

AndthankstoAmericaandEadlynforde-

cidingtoliveinmyhead.Changedmyworld.

Iloveyouforever.

—K

Don’tmissNo.1NewYorkTimesbestsellingseriesTHESELECTION…

455/467

Inapalaceofrivals,onlyonecanwinhis

heart…

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ALSOBYKIERACASS

TheSelection

TheElite

TheOne

TheHeir

HappilyEverAfter:Companiontothe

SelectionSeries



TheSiren

AboutthePublisher

Australia

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Ltd.

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Sydney,NSW2000,Australia

http://www.harpercollins.com.au

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HarperCollinsCanada

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Limited

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ALSOBYKIERACASSAboutthePublisher

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