DON’T STAND BY…BE AN ALLY

AN ANTI-BULLYING PRESENTATION

Ms. Mauerman

Intro Music

THE POWER OF ONE…THE POWER OF AN ALLY!

The Power of YOU

Stop!

Hey!...That’s not funny! Stop.

You’re such a loser!

Stop it… leave him

alone!

AN ALLY IS SOMEONE

WHO…

Sticks up for youTakes a stand against bullying

Helps you when you need it most

WHAT IS BULLYING?

HARM: Aggressive behavior - intent to harm.

TIME: Repeats over time.

POWER: Imbalance of power or strength.

PROFILE OF A BULLYWhat do they look like?

Why do they bully?

QUICK QUIZ…WHICH OF THESE WORDS DESCRIBE

BULLIES?

Not FunnyNot so muscularOldAverageYoungNot so smartLargeNot so popularFat

Small Tall Smart MuscularPopular Thin Short Not so average Funny

Why Do Bullies Bully?

• No Empathy• Get Attention

• Gain Popularity• Feel Important

• Feel Big and Powerful

• Family Risk Factors• Peer Risk Factors

• Victims Themselves

TYPES OF BULLYING

Physical VerbalSocialCyber-Bullying

PHYSICALHittingShovingGrabbingKickingSpittingFlickingThreatening

gestures

TrippingPunchingStealingBumping someone

on purposeDestroying or hiding someone’s

belongings

VERBALThreatsLies, RumorsInsulting FamilyHarassing

(gender, race, religion, size, intellect)

TeasingName-Calling

Sticks and Stones Will Break My Bones…but Words Will or Wont Hurt Me?

SOCIALDirty looksRefusing to talk to

someoneTelling others not to

be someone’s friendSpreading rumorsGossipingMaking fun of

someoneMimickingDitching/Leaving out

CYBER-BULLYINGIS BULLYING BY

USING TECHNOLOGY:

CYBER-BULLYINGIS BULLYING BY

USING TECHNOLOGY:

Sending mean messages on the computer or cell phone

Posting embarrassing photos online Creating a website to make fun of

someone Threatening or harassing someone

online Pretending to be someone else

online “Sexting” Spreading gossip/rumors online

Do You Use the

Internet?

What about Texting?

Facebook, Twitter,

MySpace?

Do You Use Them To Say Mean Things

About Others?

Do You Ever SEE Mean

Things Said About

Others?

Have You Ever Seen

Things Like…?

I hate you! You

suck!

You’re such a loser!

Fag

You’re so uglyThat was stupid!

SlutThat’s so

Gay!

Beeotch

Sevie

Or Any Other Mean/Hurtful Things Posted

On The Internet?

And You Don’t

SAY or DO

Something About It?

Then You’re Being A

Bystander To Bullying

Nobody Deserves To Be Cyber-

Bullied

Do Something…•Tell An Adult•Offer Help

YOU

Can Make A Huge

Difference!!!

CYBERBULLYING…

If You Wouldn’t Say it in Person…DON’T Say it

Online!!!

EMPATHY

EMPATHY

The ability to identify with and understand somebody else’s feelings or difficulties.

AN ALLY IS SOMEONE

WHO…

Has EMPATHY!

EMPATHY

 

BULLYING ROLES

ARE YOU A BULLY BYSTANDER???

WHAT DOES YOUR SCORE MEAN?? 0 points: Never a Bystander

-Congratulations! You are not the type to witness bullying and silently stand by. You understand that bystanders have power and are willing to step in when needed! Keep it up!

2-6 points: Bystander Beware-Chances are that you don’t bully your peers on a day-to-day basis but may stand by while someone else is being bullied without helping.

7-15 points: No Innocent Bystander-You may have said or done things to others that are emotionally harmful or wrong. You have either actively participated in bullying or have encouraged it. You may want to join a different friend group if your bullying is due to peer pressure and vow not to be involved in hurting another ever again.

More than 15 points: Bully Bystander-You are headed down a dangerous and hurtful road for you and the people you victimize. You do not show compassion for those around you and may not even feel remorse for what happens to others due to your actions. You are headed towards legal problems and regret if you don’t change your ways!

WHY DO BYSTANDERS JUST WATCH?

-38% believe it’s “none of their business”

-27% want to do something…but don’t…because…

Why Do Bystanders

“Stand By” and Watch?

(35% do something)

DON’T HELP BECAUSE…

•“The victim deserves the bullying”•“They’re just playing around…it’s funny”

•“I won’t be as popular if I help that person”

•“I don’t want to be labeled as a “snitch”!”

•“If I step in…I will become the next target”

BULLYING…

A Bystander’

s Perspectiv

e

“WHAT IF THE BULLY TURNS ON ME?”

• SAFETY IN NUMBERS

•NORMAL feeling!

Think Before You Post

-Who is this going to hurt?-How will it hurt them?-How will this affect me?-What are the consequences?

AN ALLY IS SOMEONE

WHO…

Sticks up for youHelps you when you need it

Takes a stand…lends a hand.

Ally Example (Bully Bystander)

From HRM’s BULLY BYSTANDERS: You Can Make a Difference

He’s not my friend…it’s none of my business

It is your business!!!

DON’T STAND BY…

BE AN ALLY!!Did you know… --That if one person watching a bullying situation says "Stop it!", half the time the bullying will stop? --When you stand by and do nothing

you’re saying that bullying is okay with you. It makes you no better than the bully themselves.

So What Could You Say?.....

???

ALLIES ARE THE KEY TO STOP BULLYING

You could say…“Come on leave him

alone.”“That’s not cool!”“We don’t do that

here!”“Let’s get out of here!”“Hey! That’s not

funny.”“Stop!” with eye contact

WHAT YOU CAN DO…AS AN ALLY

Speak up!...use your voice

Don’t give the bully an audience!

Be there!...stand next to the person being bullied.

Sometimes Words Aren’t Necessary…Our Actions

Show our Support

“Red”

“Little Red Riding Hood”

“The Price of Silence”

At lunch time, Ethan is drinking at the water fountain when Ty and Mike walk by and push his head into the flow of water. Paige who is watching from across the hall, is upset by what she sees…but doesn’t know what to do. Her friend, Kylie steps up and tells the bullies to stop. However, they look at her, laugh and continue what they are doing.

Bully? Target? Ally? Bystander? Potential ways to handle this situation?

SAMPLE SCENARIO

Every day, Marta gets on the bus only to be bothered by the other girls in the front seats. They comment on her clothes and make fun of her book bag. Luckily, Shania lets her sit with her, but she does not talk to Marta.

Bully? Target? Ally? Bystander? Potential ways to handle this situation?

SCENARIO 1

Jose, the new kid in class, speaks little English, and when he does, he has a very strong Brazilian accent. The kids in his class make fun of the way he speaks and laugh at him. The teacher tells them to calm down but does not punish anyone.

Bully? Target? Ally? Bystander? Potential ways to handle this situation?

SCENARIO 2

Whenever she is at her locker, Clara notices a boy from her class silently staring at her and watching every move she makes. It makes her really uncomfortable. She tells her friend Lashonda who tells her to ignore him, but he does not stop, even when she finally says something.

Bully? Target? Ally? Bystander? Potential ways to handle this situation?

SCENARIO 3

Ralph is sick and tired of being picked on in PE class for being much shorter than the other guys and finally decides to strike back one day. When one of the bigger guys says something, he turns around and knocks him down. The other kids in the class gather around and cheer the fight on until the teacher breaks it up.

Bully? Target? Ally? Bystander? Potential ways to handle this

situation?

SCENARIO 4

Charlotte is having a party on Friday night and everyone is invited except Tonya. Charlotte talks about her party to all her other friends even in front of Tonya, and she makes sure Tonya knows about the party and that she will be the topic of conversations when she is not there.

Bully? Target? Ally? Bystander? Potential ways to handle this situation?

SCENARIO 5

WHAT YOU CAN DO…IF YOU ARE BEING

BULLIED Ignore the bullyWalk awayLaugh it off…use humor to make the

situation betterStand up to the bully in a non-violent

wayBe assertive“Stop it, I don’t like what you are

doing.”Report the bullying to a trusted adult

MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO…

IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED

Never be alone…

Find a friend

or an ALLY!

BUDDY BOX

Anonymous way to report bullying If you are being bullied If you see someone else being bullied If you are a bully and want help

Forms are provided next to box. Box is located near the front office An adult will look at the report and address

the situation appropriately

What is the difference between

teasing & bullying?

When someone isn’t laughing or smiling

DON’T LAUGH

AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS!!!

THE POWER OF ONE…THE POWER OF AN ALLY!

THE POWER OF YOU

YOU can make all the difference.

Dare to stand up for someone being bullied.

Dare to stand WITH someone being bullied!

From HRM’s BULLY BYSTANDERS: You Can Make a Difference

FOR MORE INFORMATION…

Contact HRM for an excellent resource used in this presentation…

BULLY BYSTANDERS: You Can Make a Difference

(DVD Version) Human Relations Media41 Kensico DriveMount Kisco, NY 10549

1-800-431-2050