Dealing Dealing with with

ConflictConflictTransforming Transforming

Aggravation into an Aggravation into an Organizational AssetOrganizational Asset

A Presentation for the Ohio Network A Presentation for the Ohio Network of Physician Recruitersof Physician RecruitersKendall L. Stewart, M.D.Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.

October 27, 2004October 27, 2004

What’s the What’s the point?point?• Conflict happens.• Most of us

– Avoid dealing with it whenever possible, and

– Handle it less well than we might when we are forced to deal with it.

• Managing conflict effectively is hard.

• This presentation will suggest some practical strategies that can help.

• We could do better.• And we must.

• After listening to this presentation, you will be able to– List three reasons

why we avoid conflict– List three reasons

why we usually manage conflict badly,

– List three strategies for dealing effectively with conflict

– Explain why these three strategies make sense, and

– Describe exactly how to do it.

Why do we Why do we avoidavoid conflict? conflict?

• Because it makes us uncomfortable

• Because we don’t know what to do

• Because we don’t have much experience

• Because most of our role models manage conflict badly

• Because no one will help us• Because it’s the course of least

resistance• Because we can get away with it• Because it’s what everybody

else does• Because there are so many less

important things to do

How do we How do we managemanage conflict conflict badly?badly?• We try to manage it when we are

upset.• We fail to prepare for it.• We view discomfort as something to be

avoided at all costs.• We rely on opinion more than data.• We believe that all conflict can and

must be resolved.• We invest more energy in debating

than in understanding.• We fail to document our interventions.

What are some practical What are some practical strategiesstrategies for dealing more effectively with for dealing more effectively with conflict?conflict?• Prepare for it.• Know when to do nothing.• Know when to react.• Never pledge

confidentiality beforehand.*

• Beware requests to ventilate.

• Wring out the emotion first.*

• Insist that complainers take some personal responsibility.

• Consider both sides before taking a position.

• Do not permit ambushes.• Remind everyone that

perception is reality.

• Ask for data.• Focus on behavior instead

of motive.*• Attach consequences to

bad behavior.• Find a way for everyone

to save face.• Consider possible

consequences from the start.

• Come up with a specific plan.

• See the plan through.• Treat career

troublemakers differently.• Get over it and move on.• Coach and mentor others.

Never pledge Never pledge confidentiality confidentiality beforehand.beforehand.

• Why should you?– These folks usually

want to avoid accountability.

– Agreeing beforehand makes you an accomplice.

– It limits your options before you even know what the issue is.

– It encourages a culture of secrecy.

– It promotes comfort when discomfort is called for.

• How can you?– Resist the tendency

to agree instinctively.– Employ the universal

answer, “It depends.”– Accept their desire,

but postpone commitment.

– If issue must be revealed, give him a chance to go first.

– If you mistakenly agree, admit your mistake and withdraw your commitment.

Wring out the Wring out the emotionemotion first. first.

• Why should you?– Emotion distorts

everyone’s perceptions, including yours.

– Emotion compels impulsive reactions that usually turn out to be mistakes.

– Emotional arousal is always defensive and irrational.

– Emotions must be legitimized first.

• How can you?– Recognize emotional

arousal in yourself and others.

– Identify it, accept it and express it.

– Admit your own temporary insanity.

– Allow (a little) time to pass.

– Write out a ventilation document, then file it away.

Focus on Focus on behaviorbehavior instead of instead of motive when preparing to confront motive when preparing to confront others.others.• Why should you?

– It’s observable.– It’s non-judgmental– It can be

corroborated.– It provides valuable

feedback.– A focus on behavior

creates detached observers instead of passionate partisans.

• How can you?– Concentrate on

remaining a detached observer.

– As an investigator, elicit facts instead of conclusions.

– Assume the best possible motive in others.

– Make notes.– Be specific.– Be descriptive and

use quotations.

What have you What have you learned?learned?• Conflict happens.• Few leaders manage it well.• All leaders could manage it

better.• Conflict can be constructive

or destructive, depending on how it’s managed.

• There are ways to manage conflict better.

• If you wait until you feel like implementing these, you will wait a long time.

• This is not easy, but the payoff is worth the effort.

Where can you learn Where can you learn more?more?

• Stewart, Kendall L., et. al. A Portable Mentor for Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003 (This book can be ordered from www.Amazon.com)

• Stewart, Kendall L., “Physician Traps: Some Practical Ways to Avoid Becoming a Miserable Doctor” An SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, July 24, 2002

• Stewart, Kendall L. et. al, “On Being Successful at SOMC: Some Practical Guidelines for New Physicians” An SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, January 2001

• Stewart, Kendall L., “Bigwigs Behaving Badly: Understanding and Coping with Notable Misbehavior” An SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002 (For a limited time, this White Paper can be downloaded from http://www.somc.org/NRSOMCPress/WhitePapers.htm.)

• Stewart, Kendall L., “Relationships: Building and Sustaining the Interpersonal Foundations of Organizational Success” An SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002

How can weHow can we contactcontact you?you?

Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.Medical DirectorMedical Director

Southern Ohio Medical CenterSouthern Ohio Medical CenterPresident & CEOPresident & CEO

The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc.Inc.

1805 27th Street1805 27th StreetPortsmouth, Ohio 45662Portsmouth, Ohio 45662

740.356.8153740.356.8153

stewartk@somc.org Webmaster@KendallLStewartMD.com

www.somc.orgwww.KendallLStewartMD.com

Southern Ohio Medical CenterSouthern Ohio Medical Center SafetySafety QualityQuality ServiceService RelationshipsRelationships Performance Performance

WhatWhat questionsquestions remain?remain?

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