MONROE TOWNSHIP HIGH SCHOOL |1629 PERRINEVILLE ROAD| MONROE TWP, NEW JERSEY 08831 | VOL. X ISSUE 4 | DECEMBER 17,2008

What’s InsIde

EntErtainmEnt......... 6Humor.................... 6-7Happy Holidays........ 8

scHool nEws............. 2FEaturEs..................... 3wrapping it up...... 4-5

Monroe Falcon

The Monroe Falcon Staff salutes all

American soldiers

The

Former Nasdaq Chairman Bernard Madoff was

arrested on December 11 on charges of security fraud for his

alleged involvement in a scam that will cost investors $50 billion.

Zimbabwe declared a state of emergency when an outbreak of cholera killed more than 550 people and was in dire need of medical supplies to handle the epidemic.

Winter Concert jingles audienceby LYNDSEY REHO and

REBECCA CHENGStaff Writers

The Monroe Township High School parking lot overflowed with cars as people crowded into the Marasco Center for the Performing Arts to watch MTHS’s annual winter choral concert on Wednesday, December 10. This concert marks off the first of three concerts, directors Beverly Robinovitz and Jennifer Alagna plan to have. “We wanted the kids to be exposed to more music and we also have more time because of block scheduling to prepare for the March and May performances.” The purposes of these concerts are to give the students performance experience and show what they have learned. “The performance is the culmination of all the classes so the parents can see the kids perform and what progress they have made.” says Ms. Alagna. The audience grew silent as the singers, led by Mrs. Robinovitz and Ms. Alagna, quietly walked onto the risers. The concert kicked off with the singing of the Star Spangled Banner, followed by the Mixed Chorus. They “jingled” to songs like Chuck Bridwell’s “Nutcracker Jingles” and ended their performance with a rendition of the “Carol of the

Bells.” The Junior Choir performed next with two songs; “Peter Piper” by Lon Beery and “Noel, Noel!” by Sally Albrecht. The crowd seemed pleased with the performance. “I think that the Junior Choir is going to be a good addition to the Concert Choir.” says senior Rebecca Jones. The members of the Junior Choir were selected by an audition by Ms. Alagna. The crowd-favorite “Tonics” performed next. Senior members Corey Pugliese, Nick Raynor, Allan Simon, and Fred Waldron

marched on stage to present their three songs. The audience laughed and cheered as they danced to “Swing Down Chariot.” Many people auditioned for a part in the “Tonics,” but only these four were selected. The selective Women’s Chorale performed their three songs, a common favorite being “A Glad Noel.” A brief intermission took place after the performance to allow people to buy snacks and use the restroom. Men’s Chorus opened the second part of the evening’s concert. The audience giggled at the song

RAISE YOUR VOICE The Men’s Chorus open their mouths to project a melodious tune for their song “To Work Upon the Railway.”Photos/Lyndsey Reho

‘08 wrap up

pgs. 4-5

“Johnny Schmoker” as the singers “fiddled their violin” and “twittled” on their imaginary flutes. The Men’s Chorus was conducted by Ms. Alagna, who also selected the present members during the audition. The sweet-sounding “Harmonettes” performed next with the song “Over the Rainbow.” The group consists of selected seniors Dina Mangarella, Katie Reynolds, Hallie Velloso andContinued on Page 2 junior Zil Naik. The Concert Choir was the last choir to perform. They sang five

Continued on Page 2

School NewSPage 2 December 17, 2008

Concert

cont’d from pg. 1

by REBECCA CLAYTON and ZACHARY ETSCH

Editors-in-Chief

“Finding a new Superintendent is not an easy task,” says Monroe Township Board of Education President Amy Antelis. “The process started in July and ends tonight.” On December 4, at a special Board of Education meeting at Brookside Elementary School, Dr. Kenneth Hamilton was elected new Superintendent of Schools by a nearly unanimous vote. Dr. Hamilton’s previous experience includes work in “large districts, small districts, very wealthy districts, and some very poor districts.” He says, “I think that potpourri of experience is a great way to mesh a community like Monroe.” Antelis also believes Dr. Hamilton is the right candidate for the job. She says his “well rounded background” in the fields of educational administration qualify him. “He’s been a teacher, administrator, assistant superintendent and superintendent. He’s worked in elementary schools, middle schools and special education.” Two concerned board members voted against the decision, taking issue with his proposed salary, which the board set at $184,665 annually. “I am sure Dr. Hamilton has very good credentials,” says Marvin Braverman. “He is my first choice [of all the candidates]. Because I know what he is currently earning, I am voting ‘no’ on this agreement because of how the salary was arrived at. These are seriously bad economic times, and we have an obligation to taxpayers as well as students.” Rita Ostrager acknowledges Dr. Hamilton’s capabilities, calling him “a great person for the district” who can “incorporate

more views” and “increase academic performance.” However, she opposes the proposed salary, saying, “Things you could afford a year ago, you can’t afford now … I just felt that the salary was too much.” She recognizes the future need for the district to “be more aggressive and careful in looking at the budget.” Joseph King, who stepped up to become Interim Superintendent in the absence of Dr. Ralph P. Ferrie, says of the search for a permanent replacement, “I’m glad there is a conclusion to this.” He calls Dr. Hamilton an “outstanding educator.” King will return to his former position as Director of Pupil Personnel Services after leaving the Superintendent’s office. Dr. Hamilton was kind enough to sit down and share his background, educational mindset and thoughts for the future with two Monroe Falcon News reporters.

We already know that you serve as the superintendent of the Westampton School District, which consists of one elementary school and one middle school and has about 937 students. Can you tell us about the rest of your professional journey? I started as a special education teacher, I actually went to school to be a lawyer, but that is a whole other story. I started as a special ed. teacher in Newark, then became an administrator in Plainfield: vice principal then ultimately principal. Then, I was hired as an assistant superintendent in Cherry Hill, before coming to Westampton.

Would it be possible for you to tell us a little bit about your family?I’m married, been married for 23 years. My oldest son, Kenneth Jr., is a senior at Hofstra. He’ll be graduating this month actually. My youngest son, Kirkland is a freshman at Rutgers.

songs including “Chanuke, Oi Chanuke” with a solo by Nick Raynor. This group is considered the top performing choral group that is selected through audition. The concert ended with the combined choruses singing “Hallelujah Chorus.” This part of the performance allowed alumni and any nostalgic audience members to take part in the song. Accompanying most of the songs on the piano were Mr. Robert Byrnes and junior Melissa Tow. At the end of the concert the audience clapped loudly and praised the performance. When asked about the experience of the performance, Junior Dasha Ciriak answered, “It is exciting and scary to show what we can do but it is fun.” Freshman Alexis Hanna also added a comment about her first performance for the high school. “It was scary at first but when I was up there, I was like this will be good.” “We did pretty good for our first

performance as a group,” says sophomore Jennifer Ferro, who is also a member of the Women’s Choir. As family and friends reunited with the choral members, the singers seemed proud and enthusiastic. “The energy we put together really strives us to do the best we can,” said senior Corey Pugliese. “We have all become a family here.,” says sophomore Sabella Litchman. In the end, the choral performance was a great experience for both the audience and choral members.

“The energy we put together really strives us

to do the best we can.”

jinglesaudience

Why did you decide to apply for the superintendent position at Monroe?Well, I have always been fascinated with Monroe as a community. I have a couple of friends that live in the community, so I’ve been here quite a bit, and I noticed that the community has been growing very rapidly for the last few years. I was very interested in being in a place where the community was growing and where there was an opportunity to integrate diversity, and because the community is expanding in such a way that it is; I thought this would be the perfect place. Then after I started learning about the programs and initiatives that were underway, and the amount of community support that was behind those initiatives, I thought it would be a great place to bring some ideas, try some innovative things, and try to make life better for the kids and the people in the community.

Have you had any experience working with high school and teenagers?Yes, you mean aside from my own? (Laughs.) Yes, when I worked in Cherry Hill, part of my responsibility included integration of health programs and initiatives at a high school level. I enjoy working with all kids, honestly. I never taught at the high school level; I taught college, elementary, and middle, but I never taught at the high school level. I have always had a very good report with kids of all ages and enjoy working with kids in general.

What do you think your biggest challenge will be?I think my biggest problem is going to be addressing the issue of population growth and facilities. I think that is probably going to be something that will consume a great deal of time, effort, and energy to address.

Could you please sum up your educational philosophy for us?I think it is important that all kids have access to the best educational programs there are, and all kids really has to mean all kids: Those kids that are low achievers, those kids that are in the middle, and those kids who are at the other end of the continuum, the high achievers. Having equity and equality in educational programs I think is paramount, but more importantly, that teachers and the adults within the schools have a very caring, supportive attitude towards kids and make connections with them.

What succesful programs from your other districts would you like to bring to Monroe?One program that I’m interested in bringing to Monroe, assuming that I fits… is the AVID program. It’s essentially a program designed to help students, mainly those in the middle, become higher achievers with certain supports, and it is designed for middle and high school students.

Monroe Twp. Board of Education elects Dr. Kenneth Hamilton school superintendent

Photo/Rebecca ClaytonWELCOME TO MONROE Dr. Kenneth Hamilton, was elected Monroe Township School District’s Superintendent of Schools during a special Board of Education meeting at Brookside Elementary School on December 4. He shakes hands with Board President Amy Antelis.

FeaturesDecember 17, 2008 Page 3

by REBECCA CLAYTONEditor-in-Chief

Defining happiness i s nearly impossible b e c a u s e the meaning o f happiness differs so m u c h from person to person. For teens like m y s e l f , our bed is a happy place and sleep is bliss. Despite this, most teens do not sleep as much as they should and are potentially depriving themselves of a higher quality of life. A couple weeks ago in my psychology class, I realized the extent of my sleep deprivation. I have the class first block, so,

naturally, I walked in, still drowsy from the lack of sleep the night before having crawled out of bed about 15 minutes before class. Ironically enough, the homework that kept me from my bliss had dealt with sleep and consciousness. Around midnight, practically lying on my textbook, I had read that teens require seven to ten hours of sleep (oops, I suppose I missed that). In, reality, none of us get enough sleep. In order to achieve the ideal amount of sleep and still make the bus in time, we would have to head to bed around eight o’clock. Teens live fast-paced lives dominated by school, jobs and extracurricular obligations. For instance, my typical weekday can consist of school from seven thirty to two o’clock, journalism until four and then work from five to nine-thirty. This sets my home arrival time at about nine forty-five, at which time I eat dinner and do homework. I am still at work at the time I should be sleeping. Dr. Quest, a teacher of chemistry and astronomy at Monroe Township High School, says, “I usually give about an hour’s worth of homework a night; that is, if the student doesn’t take the time to finish it in class.” To maximize sleep, the advice that we all should follow (including me) is to complete homework in class and multi-task as much as possible. For example, if you find yourself just sitting around at any time, pull out your homework. Let no time go to waste; trust me, you will thank yourself when you crawl into bed and wake up refreshed and happy.

Speaking of which…Becky says it’s bedtime

by ALI DEITCHEEditor

This holiday season, kids expect less presents from their parents due to the faltering economy. A Monroe Township High School sophomore says, “People aren’t really going that big for Christmas this year- they’re just not buying as much as they would have if the economy was better. Honestly, I’m not even expecting as much as last year. I asked for one big present instead of a lot of little ones because I know my parents aren’t spending as much on us this year.” Her friend, also a sophomore, says, “Yeah, I really feel sorry for the little kids who make a big list. Because their parents can’t afford all of it, they won’t get what they’re asking

Recession costs cosumers more this holiday season

by SHAVARI PATEL Editor

“It was a very rewarding experience knowing that we were able to help so many people,” says Ms. Susan Stasi, one of the three Senior Option instructors. “There is no greater satisfaction.” Thanks to Ms. Stasi, Ms. Denise Gullucio, and Jamesburg chiropractor Dr. Debra DeMarco, 400 people will now own a warm, comforting, new coat. Mrs. Stasi and Ms. Gullucio, two of the

Jersey Cares and Monroe Shares

GIVING WARMTH Ms. Denise Galluccio and Ms. Susan Stasi promote NJ CARES.

three high school Senior Option teachers, organized a district- wide coat drive after receiving a phone call from Dr. DeMarco’s Jamesburg office, Monroe Chiropractic. Dr. DeMarco contacted and asked Mrs. Gullucio to help her collect more coats for people in need after MTHS senior students from the Senior Option program employed by Dr. DeMarco suggested holding a coat drive in MTHS. After agreeing to hold a coat drive, Stasi and Gullucio started collecting the coats by contacting and asking schools in the

district to put coat bins, donated from local businesses, in the Monroe District’s school lobbies. With each passing week, e-mails were sent to teachers, flyers were distributed to elementary students’ homes and daily announcements were made on Monroe Network News to raise awareness about the coat drive. They both received widespread support from students, teachers and even parents who dropped off coats in the bins during the parent-teacher conferences that were held at the respective schools. Stasi says, “We would like to thank everyone who donated coats this year. This would not have been possible without the support of the district and Dr. DeMarco’s leadership.” As coats were being collected, Gullucio and Stasi picked up and bagged the coats from each school and then delivered them to Dr. DeMarco. The coats were then taken by Dr. DeMarco to a collection site, where the coats were cleaned and distributed to people in need. MTHS students and staff donated approximately 400 coats. The donated coats were sent to Jersey Cares, a non-profit organization that provides service projects to improve the communities. Jersey Cares also runs other annual events such as Frosty’s Friends, MLK Day of Service, and Jersey Cares Day. Along with the support of numerous New Jersey high schools, Jersey Cares also has the support of the NBA, Washington Mutual bank, Sherwin Williams and other organizations. To show her appreciation to the success of the coat drive, Mrs. Stasi says, “We are very satisfied with the number of coats received…there is always a need for more.”

Photo/Shavari Patel

for.” The hard times truly hit home this holiday season as even billionaire Oprah Winfrey, who annually promoted the hottest new gifts on her “Favorite Things” episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show in the past, decided to instead air an episode titled “How to Have the Thriftiest Holiday Ever!” In regards to the change in the show’s content, Winfrey reasons, “The holidays are upon us and I know that a lot of people are feeling the pinch and trying to scale back this year. With hundreds of thousands of people across our country having lost their jobs in these last weeks, we felt at the Oprah show that this is not the time to be introducing you to a lot of things that cost money.” “So this year just bringing real meaning

back to the holidays is my favorite thing. And today we’re going to show you how to do that without spending a lot.” Due to the sad state of the stock market and America’s overall financial situation, kids realize they will have to lower their expectations this holiday season and be grateful for what they have.

“...you will thank yourself when you crawl into bed and wake up refreshed

and happy.”

SPORTS

Special FeatureSpage 4 page 5

December

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested on federal charges involving

alleged attempts to sell President-elect Obama’s

former Senate seat.

November

Senator Barack Obamaa was elected as the 44th president of the United

States of America.

October

Saw V premiered in theaters.

January

Former Prime Minister of Pakistan Benazir

Bhutto was assassinat-ed on Jaunary 3, 2008.

February

The New York Giants defeated the New Eng-land Patriots, winning the 43rd super bowl.

March

Lieutenant Governer David A. Paterson be-

came the 55th governer of New York replacing

Eliot Spitzer.

April

The Groundbreaking Ceremony of the new

Monroe Township High School.

May

Dr. Ralph P. Ferrie re-signs as superintendent

of Monroe Township School District.

June

Senior Awards Cer-emony.

July

The release of The Dark Knight co-starring

Heath Ledger as the Joker.

August

The Beijing summer Olympics, Michael

Phelps won 8 gold med-als, making history.

September

The MTV Video Music Awards.

SCHOOL

by JOEY ROMANCZUK and AMANDA SEDLMAYER

Editors

With 2009 right around the corner, Monroe Township High School reflects on the changes this year brought about. MTHS enjoyed its first sports events under the new lights in 2008. Members of the boys’ lacrosse team picked up their sticks and strapped on their helmets as they walked onto the illuminated turf field for what was to become a new tradition at MTHS. After a huge turnout, the football team carried on this new tradition by participating in Friday night light games at the high school. Along with the addition of lights, Monroe also built a new s y n t h e t i c turf field to replace the natural football field. This new turf field features end lines for soccer, lacrosse, and field hockey. The Monroe Twp. School Dist. achieved a n o t h e r goal in the groundbreaking of the new high school across the street in Thompson Park. As summer neared its end, the foundation for the new school seemed to be constructed overnight. When students returned in September, a new array of teachers had arrived at MTHS. The new teachers benefit every department and combat our school’s overpopulation. The bulk of them went into the Science and Special Education Departments. Along with these more than 20 new teachers coming into the school, five foreign exchange students were added to the school

community. MTHS also welcomed new student lavatories with the start of this school year. The new procedure for lavatory use stipulates that students may no longer write down their own information in the lavatory logs. Instead, an assigned staff member must document each student as he or she arrives. A fifth temporary classroom unit was added behind trailer four to help occupy the more than 1,800 students

attending MTHS. The trailer is attended to provide additional classroom space for students and staff until the new high school is completed. On Thursday, December 4, Dr. Kenneth Hamilton was named Monroe Township’s new Superintendent of Schools, replacing Interim Superintendent Joseph King. Dr. Hamilton will begin his new postion some time after the first of the year.

by JIMMY NEMETH and COREY

LIEBROSSStaff Writers

2008 was a year for change in the MTHS sports world. The football

and baseball teams both won their first Greater Middlesex Conference (GMC)

white division titles and boys’ soccer won the county championship. The football team has brought Friday night games into their tradition now. Along

with the new lights, the football team also received an upgrade with a new state-of-the-art turf field. The football program topped off their season of change with a new head coach, Chris Beagan. Coach Beagan proved himself immediately, winning Snapple Coach of the Week honors from the New York Jets. The Falcons won their first GMC white division title by defeating the Panthers of Perth Amboy, 27-0 on October 25. The Falcons will lose key players Dale DeGraw and Rich Lorfing next season, but almost their entire dominant defense will return, along with a

good chunk of the starting offense, including

Frank Ruopoli (‘10) and Blake Bascom (‘10). The football team was not the only team to set a new s t a n d a r d in 2008. The Falcon b a s e b a l l s q u a d won their own white d i v i s i o n title, their first in s c h o o l history. The ’08 Falcons also had the second most wins in

school history, with 16 wins. The Falcons

lost in the semifinal round of states to Wall, 8-3. The boys lost a lot of quality seniors and leadership last season, but return arguably two of the best pitchers in the GMC in Andy Sullivan (10) and Angelo Trento (09), along with last year’s phenomenal freshman Nick Dini (11) for 2009. Boys’ soccer won the Greater Middlesex Conference in 2008, with a win over rival East Brunswick. The boys soon lost in a NJSIAA state playoff game to the same East Brunswick team that they defeated less than one week earlier. The soccer team loses a lot of seniors but should still look to compete in the GMC’s next fall. The Lady Falcon field hockey team once again won a share of the GMC title, repeating the feat they accomplished in 2007. The Lady Falcons will be without their leaders in 2008, with the departure of Coach Virginia Gonzalez and graduation of 2008 GMC field hockey player of the year, Nicole Manziano. The boys’ basketball team also went to the NJSIAA tournament and won their first round game with a buzzer-beater by Steve Blish (‘09).

Wrapping up 2008by MICHAEL BAUMANN and ZACHARY

ETSCHEditor, Editor-in-Chief

The road to this year’s presidential election was indeed a long one, with the pre-primary season and early campaigning beginning in 2007. At that time, though, any of the highest office in the land could have potentially become the next commander-in-chief. The list was full of heavy-hitting and highly influential politicians such as former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee and New York Senator Hillary Clinton. Before long, however, the mob of viable candidates thinned, and Clinton, Illinois Senator Barack Obama and former North Carolina Senator John Edwards emerged as the frontrunners for the Democratic Party presidential nomination. Huckabee, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and Arizona Senator John McCain vied for the Republican Party nomination. The results of Super Tuesday left Clinton and Obama in a deadlock for their party’s nomination, and McCain became the presumptive nominee for the Republicans. March 4 was known as “Mini Tuesday”, and primaries for both parties were held in Texas, Ohio, Vermont and Rhode Island. McCain officially clinched the GOP nomination as he swept all four state primaries For the next three months, Obama and Clinton dueled for the Democratic nomination, and on June 3, Obama finally prevailed. Later that week, Clinton suspended her campaign and endorsed Obama. Delayed by the XXIX Olympiad in Beijing, the Democratic National Convention took place from August 25 to 28 in Denver, Colorado. The DNC ended with Obama’s acceptance speech, which featured his popular campaign slogan “Change You Can Believe In.” The Republican National Convention was held in Saint Paul, Minnesota from September 1 to 4, which made it the latest

party convention ever held because of delays from Hurricane Gustav. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin accepted the vice-presidential nomination on September 3, and the Convention culminated with McCain’s presidential nomination acceptance speech on the final day. McCain and Obama discussed their respective plans and policies in three presidential debates. The first, held on September 26, concerned foreign policy and national security, specifically the Iraq War and terrorism. The second debate, heavily focused on the economy, was held in a town hall format on October 7. The third and final debate on October 15 concerned the candidates’ domestic and economic policies. On Election Day, November 4, voters submitted ballots to choose electors in their respective states. By 11:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, the election was called in favor of Obama with his 297 electoral votes topping McCain’s 146. As Inauguration Day approaches, President-elect Barack Obama faces challenging national and international issues.

POLIT ICS

by THERESA LINEditor

With economic and political instability straining audiences at

home, the entertainment industry provided audiences s with a

respite from the painful economic woes in the form of big screen comic book heroes and comedy, hysterically tapping the insulting and insane. The Dark Knight, Hulk, and Iron Man morphed their steel exteriors into cinematic gold, as audiences could not get enough of the “Marvel” concepts. Boys and men alike continue to emulate the supernatural qualities of their heroes, attributing to the success of the comic strip enterprise by viewing the movies multiple times while still in theaters. Step Brothers, Pineapple Express, and Tropic Thunder did not succeed in appealing to a

vast audience, as they had distinct comic styles. Nevertheless the plots concerning two grown men becoming adverse brothers, two grown men escaping a drug conspiracy, and surprisingly three grown men getting involved in a life or death movie they believe they are acting in. All of the movies

however shared the common ability to uproar crowds into laughter.

While even the most devout fans will not

simulate the actions of this year’s comedic heroes of Will Ferrell and Seth Rogen, audiences compromise with their consistent attendance to their numerous films. Music, dominated by R and B songs Usher’s “Love in this Club,” Chris Brown’s “Forever,” and Rihanna’s “Live

Your Life,” repeated the eternal themes of

love-hate relationships. If it had not been for

the satirical anomalies of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s

infamous Saturday Night Live sketches portraying this year’s

presidential candidates, television would have had yet another uneventful

year. Fey and Poehler paralleled the heat of the real life presidential campaign of both President- Elect Barack Obama and Senator John McCain who both supplied superfluous amounts of television entertainment. For while they intended to promote their images through media exposure, they more often times provided comic relief for otherwise historical, but dry politics. The Summer Olympics provided even further of an excuse for television to lack in innovative plots or even to invite new faces onscreen.

EntErtainmEnt/HumorPagE 6 DEcEmbEr 17, 2008

by BREANA LOCKETT and JILL SHAHStaff Writer, Editor

This holiday season provides a variety of movies sure to entertain and soften anybody’s inner humbug. From comedies to romance, to heavy action, there is a film for you. Below are previews of our best picks.

Seven Pounds: Academy Award nominee Will Smith stars as Ben Thomas in this epic film, posing as his younger brother in a quest for redemption. Instead he falls in love as he transforms the lives of seven strangers. Starring: Will Smith, Rosario Dawson and Woody HarrelsonDirector: Gabriele MuccinoRating: PG-13 for adult and sexual situations Release date: December 19

Nothing but the Truth: Political Journalist, Rachel Armstrong writes a scandalous news piece revealing the name of a covert CIA agent. When asked to disclose her source, she refuses and is incarcerated for attempting to uphold her journalistic code.Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Matt Dillon, Vera Farmiga, Edie Falco and Alan AldaDirector: Rod LurieRating: R for language, some sexual material and a scene of violence. Release date: December 19

Yes Man: Two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey plays Carl Allen, who finds himself unsatisfied with the life that he has made for himself. To solve this dilemma, he decides, against his normal judgment, to say, “Yes” to everything.Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Darby and John MichaelDirector: Peyton ReedRating: PG-13 for crude sexual humorand brief nudity.Release date: December 19

No holidays in HollywoodTop six picks for movie entertainment

by MAUREEN NOLAN and KEVIN QUIDOREditor, Executive Editor

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go. Except, apparently, on television. The holiday season has always been known as a time of cheer and laughter. There are songs to be sung, lights to be lit, and cookies to be eaten. Parts of the typical traditions of the most wonderful time of the year are the plethora of classic Christmas movies. These films capture the very essence of Christmas. The idea of Christmas is magical; it is a time of miracles. The Year Without a Santa Claus, It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas depict that feeling of a surreal life where everything is possible. Movies like Elf, The Polar Express, Charlie Brown’s Christmas, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town, portray the spirit and merriment that Christmas is built on. Every year family-friendly network ABC

Family airs a special known as the 25 Days of Christmas. The schedule includes some of the aforementioned classics like The Year Without a Santa Claus, both the original and recent remake of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and The Polar Express. However, it is debatable whether or not some of the movies on the special are actually Christmas related. The popular Harry Potter series is featured on this program and has an entire weekend devoted to the movies alone. Although it is a part of the 25 Days of Christmas special, Christmas is only spoken about briefly in two of the four Harry Potter movies ABC Family aired this holiday season. The magic of Harry Potter does not seem to at all relate to the magic of Christmas. To many viewers, this is a blasphemous act against the wonderful holiday. “It just doesn’t make any sense,” says an anonymous student. “Why ruin Christmas specials with movies that don’t belong? ‘The Notebook’? Seriously?” Their relevance to the countdown is questionable. A noticeable theme in the movies chosen for the countdown is snow. It seems in every movie aired on the 25 Days of Christmas countdown, snow shows up, if only for a moment. The flakes appear to be the only aspect binding some of the movies with no real significance to the countdown. Many viewers find the movies that are not Christmas related frustrating and unnecessary. It is still unknown what ABC Family’s motivation for putting these obviously non-Christmas related movies on their countdown.

Not so Christmas movies

“Why ruin Christmas

specials with movies that

don’t belong?”

ABC Family’s not in tune with the holiday season

Bedtime Stories: The story of a hotel handyman who tells fantasy bedtime stories to his niece and nephew that magically begin to translate into the real world. Starring: Adam Sandler, Courtney Cox Arquett, and Keri Russell. Director: Adam ShankmanRating: PG for mild, rude humor and mild language. Release date: December 25

Valkyrie: Based upon a true story during the climax of World War II, Colonel Clause van Stauffenberg [Cruise] and his troops plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Starring: Tom Cruise, David Bamber, Bill Nighy and Tom Wikinson.

Director: Bryan SingerRating: Pr-13 violence Release Date: December 25

Marley and Me: A newlywed couple move from Michigan to Florida to start their lives together. Since he anticipates children in the future, John Grogan [Wilson] buys a loving Labrador retriever, but the dog turns into a tornado of destruction. Nevertheless, the puppy becomes the family’s best friend. Starring: Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Haley Bennett and Alan Arkin.Directed by: David FrankelRating: PG for adult situationsRelease date: December 25

by CHRISTINE SCHWEITZEREditor-In-Chief

Happy Holidays Monroe! With this month’s horoscopes I have taken into consideration what legitiment astologers have to say about each and every zodic sign. I also kept people I am close with who fall under each sign in mind when writing each sign’s scope. Note these horoscopes still should not be taken seriously for I am not an astrologer. But for fun, as everyone prepares for the up and coming holiday vacation here are some things to keep in mind...

December horoscopes

Capricorn [December 22nd to January 19th] - Dysfunction and chaos have been plaguing

you. This month you will be able to bring peace and harmony to the situation right in time for the holidays and maintain it throughout the New Year.

Aquarius [January 20th to February 18th] -This month will be an easy going month

enabling you to relieve tensions and anxiety. In the upcoming New Year if you allow it, your romantic energy will attract who and what you want into your life.

Pisces [February 19th to March 20th] -Career wise December will be a high

profile month. Fortune will come in work and financial matters. 2009 will bear the rewards you have been working so hard for. Despite what people may say or what has happened

in the past things are looking up for you this year romanticly. Oh and as you know holiday romance is most definitely in the air for you as of now and in the upcoming year,

Libra [September 23rd – October 22nd] - No different from any other month, you are very

optimistic and will inspire others. Through the worst of times, the people you share the best of times with will be there for you whenever you need them. Looking at the glass half

full like you always do will continue to help in maintaining your sanity. This will also undoubtedly reward you, bringing about good karma in the future.

Scorpio [October 23rd to November 21st] – 2009 will stir up a lot of changes in your

life about how you can change your approach in communicating what you have to say. As you tend to squander unproductively, you should channel all the energy you have into

something constructive.

Sagittarius [November 22nd – December 21st] – This month stay persistent in order

to get through the current project you are dealing with. The feeling of accomplishment will be worthwhile.

Aries [March 21st to April 19th] -You are busy expanding your horizons this month.

At times you may come off as “over opinionated” though you are just enthusiastic about sharing your thoughts. As you move toward the New Year, think about

how you can change your approach in communicating what you have to say.

Leo [July 23rd to August 22nd] - You are incredibly emotional and a bit unstable at

times. Your love for travel will be met by a great journey commencing a new chapter in your life. Your keen imagination is appreciated, but you tend to be close minded and self centered.

Virgo [August 23rd to September 22nd] – The chaos that pertains to many aspects

of your life will settle towards the middle of the month. Though you tend to be incredibly indecisive, vital decision making will be inevitable in keeping your peace of mind.

MARLEY AND ME John [Wilson] surprised Jenny [Aniston] with a litter of puppies to choose from. Photo/www.cinemablend.com

Humor Page 7December 17, 2008

by KEVIN QUIDOR and MAUREEN NOLANExecutive Editor, Editor

Breaking the hearts of children all over the world, Santa Claus, the King of Christmas, was arrested for breaking and entering after he was caught busting into the home of the Australian Prime Minister on December 24, 2008. After years of trying to catch the big man in the act for a number of alleged humanitarian crimes, the Australian special task force, the Kovert Agency Normalizing Gifts And Reindeer Operations wOrldwide, or KANGAROO, finally apprehended Mr. Claus into protective custody. While celebrating this victory, an anonymous CIA agent intervened with plans to expedite Santa to the United States on the claims of an ongoing investigation concerning elf enslavement. KANGAROO forfeited the prisoner reluctantly after the CIA agreed to give them the lead on the Easter Bunny investigation. After a grizzly plane ride filled with Christmas stories and attempts at rousing a hearty carol, Santa arrived on US soil and was immediately sent to the slammer to await prosecution. Under heavy lock and key, two dozen guards surrounded the jolly senior citizen at all times. Mr. Claus, steadfast in his claims of innocence, required further investigation of his solitary North Pole lair. Once investigated, the elfin slavery scandal was blown wide open. Over 100,000 elves were found shackled in the cellar of the lead-paint covered workshop that produces Darth Vader action figures. Santa remained staunch in denying any knowledge of the ‘mental midgets.’ The largest production area of elf enslavement was over the merchandise for teen pop artist, Hannah Montana. Her inventory included dolls, backpacks, folders,

Old Saint Nick’s on the naughty list

by ZACHARY ETSCH and COREY LIEBROSS

Hebrew Heroes

A note to readers: The events and characters depicted in this article are entirely fictional and are intended solely f o r comedic and s a t i r i c a l effect.

bed sheets, video games, and even life-size cardboard cut outs. After being told about the conditions of which her products were manufactured, Ms. Montana/Cyrus seemed unphased. She seemed more concerned with the fact that the world had figured out her secret identity. Santa Claus, already facing life , was further

Give Chanukah some props!

indicted with charges of animal abuse as nine reindeer were found malnourished and chained in a stable. Neither food nor water was found near their place of holding. One reindeer seemed exposed to an immense amount radiation that made his nose glow. Medical expert L. VanDrizzle says the nose will have to be amputated.

Claus’s actions have people, both naughty and nice, in a frenzy. “He had us all fooled,” says Mrs. LuPone, a working mom who was taking down her holiday lights. “There’s no use in dwelling, what’s done is done. We just need to right Santa’s wrongs by celebrating his capture from now on. There can still be presents.”

Leaders of the Jewish population are actively staging a “Bring-Out-the-Latkes” movement that has spread like a plague of locusts from the religion’s parent country of Israel to other regions of the world. Spurred on by these individuals, influential Jewish members of the entertainment industry have taken the cue to participate in this movement and more actively and aggressively promote their religion. A new dramatic film co-directed by Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Steven Spielberg and Mel Gibson entitled L’Chaim! L’Chaim! is scheduled to debut in theaters before the year is out. Adam Sandler stars as Moses along with Sacha Baron Cohen, who, in accordance with popular demand, returns as his famous alter-ego, Borat. Highlighting the importance of Chanukah as a legitimate winter holiday, the community seeks to prove that the “Festival of Lights” carries the same amount of weight as other denominational seasonal celebrations. The furor arose with the discovery that a 55 year-old Florida resident, Harold Goldberg, is a reincarnation of Judah Macabee, who, according to H e b r e w

tradition, slew the better-equipped, elite forces

of the tyrant Antiochus. “This is a great day for the Jewish

community,” declares Goldberg, the elected leader of the international movement.

Wasting no time in asserting and exercising his power, Goldberg says, “My first act as Grand Ch-ead Ch-ebrew shall be to forbid all members of our group from speaking the ‘h’ sound. We shall abandon this sound in favor of the ch-ighly appropriate ‘ch.’” When asked about the significance of other Jewish holidays such as Rosh Hashanah and Pesach (Passover), he replied, “I don’t see what’s so important about celebrating our New Year, Moses’ parting the Red Sea, or gaining e m a n c i p a t i o n from servitude to the Egyptian Pharaoh. To me, that whole oil thing seems a whole lot cooler. Oye veh! That’s what’s really important.”

Isaac Weinsteinberg, Goldberg’s public relations official, says, “Judah Macabee ch-ad a lot in common with Chuck Norris,

the action

movie ch-ero. For instance, if Judah Macabee ch-ad five pieces of

gelt and you ch-ad five pieces of gelt, Judah Macabee’s sheer coolness would cause him to ch-ave more chocolate coins than you! Plus, Judah Macabee always won the game of dreidel, because the spinning top was afraid to land on anything but ‘gimmel.’” The “Bring-Out-the-Latkes” movement has not forgotten its main objective, however,

as it remains devoted to promoting Chanukah until the “Festival

of Lights” gains worldwide recognition. “After all,” explains Goldberg, “Chanukah celebrates the single most

important theme of our people’s existence

— that our oil never b u r n s out.”

Happy Holidaysdecember 17, 2008 page 8

Seasons’ Greetingsfrom the Falcon newsroom

Graphic/Matt Steele