The Roane Reader is a full color monthly publication, distributed in 4 counties (Roane, Morgan, Anderson, Cumberland) and Online. We love God and thank him for all he does, every chance we get. Test your knowledge with bible trivia, crosswords and word searches. Packed full of entertainment and educational information. Household hints, Penny Pinchers and tips on how to save money!
501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748 Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back! Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back! www.roanereader.com facebook.com/roanereader FREE FREE FREE RoaneReader Roane Sports ............................ 20 Local Sports information Precious Memories ................. 2 By Kay Christopher Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes According to the Almanac ......... 4 When to do what Never Loose Money .................. 14 By Bob Tonachio Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses Can You Find Me¿ ................... 22 By The Phantom Rockwood Memories ................ 23 By Ray Collet Roane Sports ............................ 20 Local Sports information Precious Memories ................. 2 By Kay Christopher Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes According to the Almanac ......... 4 When to do what Never Loose Money .................. 14 By Bob Tonachio Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses Can You Find Me¿ ................... 22 By The Phantom Rockwood Memories ................ 23 By Ray Collet FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER @ Pick one up before they are all gone! FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER @ Pick one up before they are all gone! www.roanereader.com/findone www.roanereader.com/findone www.roanereader.com/findone Established 1993 7,500 Distributed NUMBER 2 VOLUME 22 DECEMBER 2014
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501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748
Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!
Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!
www.roanereader.comfacebook.com/roanereader
FREEFREEFREE
RoaneReaderRoane Sports ............................ 20 Local Sports information
Precious Memories ................. 2 By Kay Christopher
Penny Pinchers ......................... 13Money saving hints and tips
The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verifica-tion only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.
We will mail you a copy of The Roane Reader each
month for a year for only $16. Send the address
Phone # and a check to: The Roane Reader501 Evergreen St.
• Another big, black bear spotted in the Walnut Hill area in Harri-man.• At one of our local schools: A sign for items to be picked up had a misspelled word, apparently written by a Teacher or Office Worker. The sign read "Fundrairer Items picked up here".• The Roane County High School band entertaining at the last County Commission meeting by playing parts of all the battle songs of our service veterans.• A man, standing on Roane St. in Harriman wearing a huge horse head. No, it wasn’t Halloween.
Things to do in Roane CountyThe old coal stove
Kids nowadays don’t know what it’s like to wake up early in the morning and have to huddle around the old coal stove to get warm before getting ready for school.
The stove we had while growing up in Emory Gap was an old top-feeding coal stove. Most everyone in the gap had coal stoves and a big coal pile in their yard.
The stove had to be “shaken ” down and the ashes taken out everyday.
Now to do this, you had to shake the handle at the bottom to release the powdered ash.
You then took the ashes outside in a pan that had a handle, and you would spread them on the dirt/graveled driveway.
The ash would be so thick in the air in the house, you could write your name on the furniture. And you could even taste it in your mouth. (the coal ash spill at the steam-plant was nothing compared to what we breathed and swallowed in our homes back then).
Almost everyone had a woodpile and a coal-pile in their yards. There were two types of coal--lump or slack. Lump was better because you have to shovel the slack up.
My brothers, Jerry and Larry’s job was to bring in the coal and wood at night. This required a coal bucket that was placed behind the stove to be used during the night and the next day.
In the winter, mama would cook a big pot of beans on the stove every Monday, and every other day, she’d keep a pot of water on top of it to help take the ash dust out of the air.
Seems like our winters were so much colder back then, and that old coal stove sure helped keep us from freezing to death.
3 The Roane ReaderDECEMBER 2014 www.roanereader.com
IN THE HEART OF WALNUT HILL707 Old Roane Street
(865) 882-3931
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Message: 1. Tennesseans with questions about the disease may call a toll-free number to obtain accurate, timely information: 1-877-857-2945. This number will be active starting Oct. 22, 2014.
2. TDH is providing additional information about Ebola virus disease on our website, including summaries of weekly activities and adding links to other sources of reliable information: http://health.state.tn.us/Ceds/ebola.htm.
3. Should a confirmed case occur in Tennessee, the department will make a public announcement and post information to the TDH website: http://health.state.tn.us/.
"We are glad there is increased awareness about this disease and we especially appreciate the efforts of our health care partners in pre-vention, detection and response planning," said TDH Commissioner John Dreyzehner, MD, MPH. "We all need to have an understanding of where the current risk exists and to make sure our concerns are based on facts and not on rumors."
"If you have not traveled to Liberia, Guinea or Sierra Leone within the last 21 days and if you have not been exposed to body fluids of a confirmed Ebola virus disease patient, you do not have an apprecia-ble risk for Ebola," said State Epidemiologist Tim Jones, MD. "This is not an airborne disease, so those most at risk are people who have been in contact with body fluids of a confirmed patient, especially healthcare workers, family members and friends."
With cold and flu season approaching, many people across Tennes-see will develop fevers and have nausea which may cause additional concern this year. Health care providers may ask more questions about a patient's symptoms and travel history, which is part of an effective effort to provide care and to stop the spread of all illnesses. Getting a flu vaccine can eliminate one reason for a trip to the doctor.
"Flu represents a clear and present danger and every year too many Tennesseans unnecessarily die from this common illness," Dreyzehner said. "Some incorrectly regard flu as a really bad cold. It's not; it can and does kill many every flu season. If you have not had your flu shot or nasal spray yet, we urge you to get it now. It could save your life."
The mission of the Tennessee Department of Health is to protect, promote and improve the health and prosperity of people in Tennes-see. TDH has facilities in all 95 counties and provides direct services for more than one in five Tennesseans annually as well as indirect services for everyone in the state, including emergency response to health threats, licensure of health professionals, regulation of health care facilities and inspection of food service establishments. Learn more about TDH services and programs at http://health.state.tn.us/.
Tennessee Department of Health Announces Ebola Resources For Tennesseans
• Roll down your windows and blast talk radio while head banging.• Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rear-view mirror as
toll collector tries to explain to next driver.• Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.• At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a
look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.• Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and
angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.• At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.• Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.• Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat,
when driving alone.
Fun Things To Do While Driving
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspend-ed from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents
attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to administer sun
lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the church-
es became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't
defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live,
after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.Common Sense was preceded in death,-by his parents, Truth and Trust,-by his wife, Discretion,-by his daughter, Responsibility,-and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers; - I Know My Rights - I Want It Now - Someone Else Is To Blame - I'm A Victim- Pay me for Doing Nothing Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not,
join the majority and do nothing.
R.I.P.
4 The Roane Reader www.roanereader.com DECEMBER 2014
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Begin diet to gain weight.............................4,31Begin diet to lose weight...........................13,18Breed animals............................................22,23Castrate animals........................................24,25Cut hair to discourage growth...................15,16Cut hair to encourage growth................3,4,30,31Cut Hay................................................1,2,28,29Destroy pests and weeds......................1,2,28,29Harvest aboveground crops...................3,4,30,31Harvest belowground crops......................13,14Have dental care........................................13,14Plant aboveground crops ..........................26,27Plant belowground crops.............................18,19Prune to discourage growth.......................20,21Prune to encourage growth..................1,2,28,29Quit smoking.............................................13,18Set posts or pour concrete.........................22,23Slaughter livestock....................................18,19Start projects.............................................23,24Wean animals or children..........................13,18
Temperature 44° (4 below avg.) Precipitation 5.5" (2" above avg.)
DECEMBER 2014according to the almanac
Dec 1-6: Rain, then sunny, cool;Dec 7-13: Snow north, sunny, cold;Dec 14-18: Showers, mild south;Dec 19-20: Sunny, cold;Dec 21-28: T-storms, then sunny/cold;Dec 29-31: Rain and snow, bitter cold.
Hum the theme song of the movie out loud. Make finger puppets in front of the projector. When gunshots ring out in the movie yell, "Bang! Bang!" Use a whoopee cushion. ('Nuff said.)Wear a top hat, a big one.Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" And then giggle like a bunch of little girls loudly during the kissing scenes.Clap and cheer when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast forward it?" When the bad guy is about to do something devious, yell at the top of your lungs, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. If you've seen the movie before, at the climax, yell out what happens next. Gently, very softly, place a single kernel of popcorn on the head of the man in front of you. Say that this person can't sit next to you because your invisible friend is sitting there. Stare at the person sitting across the aisle from you, then quickly look back at the screen when they look at you. Then, when they turn away, stare again.Sit beside a stranger and ask "How are you doing?" See what kind of conversation you can start.
In the lobbyBump into someone and pretend it causes you to fall down. See if they apologize.Walk behind someone until he/she turns around. Then say, "What?"(You should look very confused, so it makes them be confused also.)Walk behind someone and have an argument with yourself.(It's even better if you talk in two different voices.)Have a bottle of water and go up to people saying, "Thirsty?"(See how many people you can get to drink from your bottle.)Go to a public drinking fountain and offer to hold down the button. Then press it down halfway and when the person leans forward press it down all the way to soak their face.Run at top speed by some people yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO."Fall down and when somebody tries to help you up scream, "get away from me!".Roll a tennis ball and run after it crying.
What does it mean if your barometer is falling?A drop in air pressure opens the door for winds and precipitation -- often in the form of rain and snow. Fair weather (sun and high visibility) usually corresponds to high air pressure.
Best Days To....
A farmer was going down the road on the edge of town with his tractor and had a wagon pulling behind.As they passed and old folks
home an old man was sitting in his rocking chair on the porch. He yells to the farmer, “What have you got on the wagon?” The farmer yells back that he is hauling chicken manure.The old man ask, “What are
you going to use it on?”The farmer yells back that he is
going to spread it over his straw-berry's.The old man yells back, “You
should stop in here because we use whipping cream on ours.
The Farmer
5 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
Auto · Home · Business · Life
(865) 285-1390
Lately I talked to a daycare worker and also visited a school. The daycare instructs the workers to never use the word "no". Seven times in one day the worker was bitten by a 3 year old child. My mother would not have put up with me biting her one time much less 3.I know the switches, the sting, the little red marks on the legs, but
they taught me how to behave. Yes and no were the basic words of early learning,No, don't spit on people, No, Johnny don't poke your fingers in her
eyes. Yes, you can go outside, Yes, you did a very good job. Now we go to the older classroom where the teacher has to deal with this child running around the room disrupting class. Hits the children on the playground, her hands are tied. Our teachers had a paddle on their desk and if we misbehaved we
went out in the hallway and was disciplined. Does anyone remember Mrs. May, Mrs. Weaver, Caye Hawn,
Coach Rose, Mr. Medley, etc... The majority of us turned out law abiding citizens. - Darlene Edwards
A reader’s response to our spanking articleHow Did You Turn Out?* First colonies – Jamestown, Va. First community bldg was a church. Only building with wall still
standing. * Puritans first act at Plymouth Rock = kneel, praise and dedicate new colony.* Roger Williams (Bapt. Minister) established Rhode Island.* Lord Baltimore held church service in establishing Maryland.* William Penn (Quaker) est. Penn, NY, DEL, Conn, NC, SC, Georgia. * When you read their writings you see no doubt that God birthed America. * Will Penn in writing government policies for PA made sure “all treasurers, judges, and all elected officials professed faith in Christ.” We must never forget what God has done in the past for America. We must have our eyes opened to see what God is doing for America in the present. Then we must realize what God will do to America in the future. * House of Representatives - across speakers’ seat – sculpture of Moses.* President George Washington said, "It is impossible to govern the world without God and the Bible. Of all dispositions and habits that lead to political prosperity, our religion and morality are indispensable supporters."* In 1782, the U.S. Congress voted in favor of a resolution recommending and approving the Bible for use in the schools.* Henry Laurens, fourth president of the Continental Congress, stated, "I had the honor of being one who framed the Constitution. In order effectually to accomplish these great constitutional ends, it is especially the duty of those who bear rule to promote and encourage respect for God and virtue."Our Founding Fathers consistently spoke of the need for utilizing the Bible and Judeo-Christian values in defining and preserving this nation:* Twelve of the original 13 colonies incorporated the entire Ten Commandments into their civil and criminal codes.* Our laws based on 10 commandments and Bible. Supreme Court bldg - built 1935 – carved on front Moses and Ten Commandments. [justices must enter back way!]
Government and Religion
The police came to my house earlier & said my dog had chased someone on a bike. I said, you must be joking
officer, my dog hasn’t got a bike.
6 The Roane Reader www.roanereader.com DECEMBER 2014
Submit your Memorials, Dedications or just lift up those you love - FREETribute:
If you have a need please contact us anytime, we are here to encourage you and will put you on a pray list, pray over you or try to help with your needs anyway we can. We want to show
you the love of Christ - Roane Reader (865) 882-9340
We want to pray for you!
DRYCLEANERSDRYCLEANERS
“If quality counts, count on us!”“If quality counts, count on us!”
Expert Dry Cleaning, LaundryWedding Dresses, DraperiesComforters and Alterations
I pray you would know thatGod has great things in store
for your life. He is awonderful, loving Father and
He has an amazing futurefor you. May you trust in Hisplans no matter how things
look right now.
When we are children, we are happy and gay and our mother is young and laughs as we play. As we grow up she teaches us truth and lays foundation in the days of our youth, then it is time for us to leave home, But her teachings go with us where ever we roam, all that she taught us and all that we did when we were so often just a “bad little kid” we will often remember and then realize that mothers are special and wonderfully wise. As we grow older we look back with love and know mothers are gifts from above, when she “goes home” to receive her reward, she will dwell in God’s Kingdom and be with the Lord. There in God’s kingdom she’ll watch from above to welcome her children with undying love. Loving memories this Christmas. I love and miss you mom and mam-maw. Son - Travis Rich, Grandchildren - Brianna & Ansliegh Rich, Dad and Mom - Jimmie & Josie Hall, Sister - Marie Dedmon, Son - Jimmy Rodney Owens & Husband & Father- James Ansley Owens.
Another Christmas came and gonethe way things are, it wont be long
we’ll all be together around God’s throne.We all love and miss you. The Owens Family.
Merry Christmas in Heaven
In memory of Sherri Faye Owens
Sandra Freeman Housley Wishes her family a
Very Merry Christmas and a
Happy New Year
In Loving Memory of Cole Heide 5-1-83 to 9-16-03The lights are twinkling on our treeIt’s framed in the window for all to seeThe smells of Christmas are in the airThe stockings are hung with special care The gifts are wrapped with shiny bowsAll is ready for Christmas, as far as that goesBut for us, all is not ready for you’re not hereAnd that takes away so much Christmas cheerWe so miss the joy and the love that you sharedAnd we miss all the ways you showed us you caredFor Christmas to be ready we need you with usTo share in the laughter, the fun, and the fussSo we’ll do what we can to make it throughAnd celebrate Christmas again without youBut we know someday our Christmas will be wholeAnd we’ll celebrate in Heaven with you, our sweet ColeMerry Christmas in HeavenSadly missed by all your familyWritten with love from your aunt Joni
Christmas is a special time for families as we enjoy dinner and sit around beautifully decorated tree. Talking about ornaments that have been passed down through the years and which child made what ornaments in school. Handing out gifts and watching faces light up as we see that one special gift we were hoping for. Reminiscing of Holidays past and how much love there has always been in your family. Then suddenly one day you loose a cherished family member. A grandparent, parent, sibling, or a child. You know your family circle is now broken, and will never be the same. It doesn’t matter if its been a month, a year, or 20 years that heartache is there and that pain never dulls. You try your best to move on, put a smile on your face and trust God to help you through but it is still there, until you take your last breath. You cry alone and with your family who are still here to endure this pain with you. You trust in God to give you the strength to carry on. You know you will see your loved ones again someday. For me and my family our loved ones may be gone but they will never be forgotten. My grandparents, Gabe, and Nita Smith, Dorothy McAlpin, Cole Armour, my precious son, Cole Duane Heide. In these 11 years without you the heartache hasn’t gone away. We remember you in so many aspects
of our lives. You will always be missed, gone but not forgotten, living forever in our harts and in each tear drop that falls. This year I send out so much love to all my friends who have lost loved ones. You are loved and
thought of each day.Merry Christmas in Heaven Cole Duane Heide We love you
Our beloved son, cousin, nephew, and grandson. You are missed with each breath we take by your Mom- Jill Cole, Aunt Non & Uncle Mike (Mike and Joni Mann), Nin and Grand (Johnny and Darla Cole) And sometimes, I think, most of all cousin Barrett Mann, who was more like a brother to you than a cousin.
HappyBirthday
AliciaChristopher
Dec. 30th
7 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
Nov. 14thTerry Lee Crowe, 58, HarrimanWhitley E. Terry, 27, Harriman
Nov. 15thKay Ward Goad, 69, Harriman
Nov. 16th“Jim” F. Stinnett, 80, Harriman
Joni Futrell Cook, 31, RockwoodNov. 17th
Mary Roberts, 64, Oliver SpgsNov. 18th
Kelly Pickard Hall, 37, HarrimanDennis Baird, 73, Rockwood
Vonnie Crawford, 69, Rockwood“Ken” R. Burton, 71, Rockwood
Nov. 20thWilliam Pesterfield 74, Kingston
Robert E. Witt, 73, HarrimanNov. 21st
Don P. Williams, 79, Coalfield
noticeThe Roane Reader
has increased the number of papers we distribute monthly. This will make it easier for you to obtain a copy.
Thank you, readers for your support!
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternate-ly stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?" --------------------------------------------------------------------
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mic cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Okay Ryan, you be Jesus!"
Heavenly HumorEver since I was a child, I’ve
always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a Psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s some-body under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy. "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist.
"Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears." "How much do you charge?" "Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said.
Six months later the Psychia-trist met me on the street.
"Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked. "Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV."
"Is that so!" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed – ain’t nobody under there now!"
On Christmas Day many people visit relatives and friends to celebrate the gift that God the Father gave us, Jesus Christ. Next time you visit someone, pray that God bless them with love and peace.
Shepherds Visit Baby Jesus, Luke 2:15-20
Across4. as soon as5. understood6. surprised7. form of be10. human pump for blood12. entire14. people who protect sheep18. owned19. not at home21. detected sounds22. objective case of they24. memo26. the other one from that27. left29. giving praise31. used eyes to witness33. shining back34. hurryDown1. spouse of Mary2. used to be3. flat on your back4. question word to find out the item being talked about5. held onto6. spiritual workers of God7. town where Jesus was born
8. discovered9. created11. observe13. maker of heaven and earth15. place where God and angels live16. giving approval17. said
20. pronoun for people22. items23. brought back25. baby28. mother of Jesus30. fair32. which person
Bible Quest
Bible Quest Answers
How many elders sat around the throne of God?What order did Joshua give to God while fighting the Amorites?How many years did the Lord add to Hezekiah’s life after being healed of his sickness?What was the second plague upon Egypt?Which disciple looked after Mary, after the death of Jesus?Jesus was a high priest after the order of which ancient king, mentioned in Psalm 110?Which two provinces looked up to Thessalonica as an example?Who was Noah’s father?Who did Pilate send Jesus to after he had interrogated him?Daniel had a dream about four things. What sort of things?
Loving Father, Help us remember the birth of Jesus, that we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and worship of the wise men.
Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every giftand good desires with every greeting.
Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts.
May the Christmas morning make us happy to be thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake. Amen.
A Christmas Prayer by Robert Louis Stevenson
Young Eddie was spending Christmas with his grand parents.On Christmas morning the family went to church. While they were waiting to go in Eddie checked all the announcements, and pictures along the walls. When he came to a group of pictures of men in uniform, he asked a nearby verger, 'Who are all those men in the pictures?' The verger replied, 'Why, those are our boys who died in the service'. Dumbfounded, the Jonathan asked, 'Was that the Christmas Day service?'
The Christmas Service
Happy BirthdayWarren Kocher
Dec. 1st
9 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
3rd Annual Festival of Lights with Santa
SundayDec. 7th 1-6 p.m.
SundayDec. 7th 1-6 p.m.
Saturday Dec. 6th from 1-6 p.m.
Saturday Dec. 6th from 1-6 p.m.
We invite our neighbors to take a relaxing stroll through our beautiful Christmas Wonderland
display in our lobby and large courtyard. Refreshments will be served. Bring your children
and a camera to have a photo with Santa!
We invite our neighbors to take a relaxing stroll through our beautiful Christmas Wonderland
display in our lobby and large courtyard. Refreshments will be served. Bring your children
and a camera to have a photo with Santa!
No ticket necessary - free eventNo ticket necessary - free eventHosted byHosted by
Rockwood Village ApartmentsRockwood Village Apartments601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, TN 37854601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, TN 37854
Bible BeatShepherds Visit Baby Jesus, Luke 2:15-20
You can play this online @ www.joanyedwards.com/wordsearch/C4cShepherdsVisitBabyJesus.html
Today you are the shepherd told to visit the baby, Jesus. Today rejoice because Jesus was a baby like you and me. Today Jesus might have been born in a taxi cab in a big city because Joseph and Mary did not have money to pay the doctors and nurses. Pray that people help train poor mothers and fathers and help them find jobs to get money and/or insurance. Then more babies will be born in a place where they get the care they deserve.
allamazedangelsawaybeen
Bethlehemby
found
glorifyingGodhad
hasteheardheart
heaveninfant
Josephjustkept
knownlyingmade
mangerMary
messagepraisingreturned
sawsee
shepherdsthemthey
thingsthistoldwentwerewhatwhenwho
N E H W M G H G N B E T H L E H E M G GH B O N R S N N S R E T U R N E D N K YE E L I E T D I M H B E T H L E I E N TA S L E G N A Y Y H E A R T S S A G O HO D A H N T S F N L T P T I I B T L A NI G R S A H T I B Y O E H A W H B O N ER H N A M P T R K N O T R E I W Y R G VW E W I E W J O K N O P R N R E Y I E AH A E K T H O L H E A E G T H D L Y I EA V N H Z C S G E T H S Y E H A S I W HF O U E W T E O E G I R A H E K E M H ET O B A H R P L W N A W A R A H E Y R HR W E E O E H W F M W S A U D H V N F EE A Y H E M A A L E T D S N T E E W E AT W H S A N N S N E R G U E M A N O E VU F O U A T H T R R T O L D M A W N D LR H O W M H E L Y I F D J U S T E K J YI E S S A E D H M A D E Z A M A W H O IS A L Y I A A S H T A H W W A W A Y S TG L O R I D M A G A N G E L M A N G E O
Trivia Answers:
Bible TriviaWhy are the Thessalonians told not to worry about those Christians who have died?
In the parable of the sower, what happened to the seed that fell on the path?
What was the name of the man who requested Jesus’ body for burial?
How many Philistines did Samson say he had killed with the jawbone of a donkey?
Which book of the Bible precedes Jonah?
Who did Samuel anoint as the first King of Israel?
What was mankind’s first sin in the Bible?
What was the first bird released from the ark?
What nationality was Timothy’s father?
In Revelation, what is the “number of a man”?
They will be raised to life again Eaten by birdsJoseph (of Arimathaea)1,000Obadiah
SaulEating some fruit Raven Greek666
It was the Sunday after Christ-mas at a Church. The pastor was looking at the nativity scene prior to packing away the figures when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the scene.Immediately, he turned towards the office in order to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Harry with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. The pastor walked up to Harry and said, 'Well, Harry, where did you get the little infant?' Harry replied honestly, 'I took him from the church.' 'And why did you take him?' With a sheepish smile, Harry said, 'Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it.'
Cave Creek MissionaryBaptist Church
presents
Born Again ChristmasSunday
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6:00 PM
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Everyone Welcome!
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* The Apollo 11 mission insignia was designed by crew member Michael Collins. On astronaut Jim Lovell's advice, he chose an eagle (which he originally traced from a National Geographic book) preparing to land on the surface of the moon with an olive branch in its beak. NASA, however, felt the eagle's talons looked too aggressive, so Collins resubmitted the design with the eagle holding the olive branch in its claws.
* Upon entering the lunar module to begin their journey home, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong discovered that a switch on a crucial circuit breaker was broken, leaving them without a way to ignite the engine. They tried to sleep while NASA’s mission control worked out a solution, but Aldrin eventually decided to jam his felt-tip pen into the mechanism to use as a make-shift switch, and it worked.
*According to Collins himself, the astronauts were plagued by "gross flatulence" as a result of excess bubbles in their beverages. "The drinking water is laced with hydrogen bubbles," he wrote in his 1974 autobiography "Carrying the Fire: An Astronaut's Journeys." "These bubbles produced gross flatulence in the lower bowel, resulting in a not-so-subtle and pervasive aroma which reminds me of a mixture of wet dog and marsh gas."
* The original footage from the lunar camera is gone. First noticed missing in 2006, the tapes were likely erased and reused to record data beaming back from one of several satellites launched in the 1980s. This lost footage, which was much clearer that what viewers saw on television, survives only in the broadcast formats.
* Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon for two reasons: firstly, because he was the senior astronaut of the two that descended to the lunar surface from the command module; and secondly, because the design of the lunar module forced him out before Aldrin. The placement of the hinges on the hatch made it so the door opened toward Aldrin, boxing him in. Armstrong, on the other hand, had a clear path. (Aldrin was apparently very upset by this.)
*According to the astronauts who landed there, the moon has a smell. After tracking moon dust back into the lunar module and removing their helmets, astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin thought the lunar materials smelled of "wet ashes in a fireplace" and "gunpowder," respectively. But back here on Earth, our oxygen-rich atmosphere renders the moon dust odor-free.
103 First St. Kingston, TN103 First St. Kingston, TN103 First St. Kingston, TN
(865-376-4484) Made to Order & We Stock:• Fresh Holiday Arrangements• Gourmet Cupcakes• Ornaments• Single Silk Stems• Christmas Trees, Ribbon & Bows• Gifts, Gift Wrapping• Door Wreaths, Table Arrangements, Gift Baskets, Gourmet Baskets.
Our Services Include:• We Deliver Local & Send Nationwide. • One-Of-A-Kind Shopping in our Attic Fanatics Marketplace.• Re-Work your Older Silk Pieces & Bring them Back to Life. • Specialty Cakes from the Infamous Cupcake Haven & all your Favorite Flavors of our Gourmet Cupcakes.
• Gift wrapping is FREE for any gift you buy with US. :)
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4. Call the Psychic Hot-line from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. 9. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play. 10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 12. Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 15. Swat at flies that don't exist. 16. Tell people that you can see their aura. 17. Call out, "group hug!" then enforce it. 18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on." 26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!" 27. Hide a squirt gun in your hand and pretend to sneeze next to someone.28. Throw a fake spider on the ground and squeal with fear.29. Hum the Jeopardy theme song between floors.30. Stare at someone for a long time, then say, "who are you? What do I REALLY know about you?"31) Bring a violin or guitar case on and make a big show of trying to hide it from everyone and say "It's only a violin/guitar, honest!"32) Twitch for about 5 minutes, then when the doors open on your floor run out screaming, "They're after meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Fun Things To Do In An Elevator
Antibiotics aim to kill bacteria but are useless against viruses.In Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein," Frankenstein is the name of the Scientist...NOT the monster.Fish bowls don't provide the proper amount of Oxygen and are actually terrible homes for fish.There is a vent at the top of Port-a-Pottys that releases the smell up and out, but this only works if everyone puts the seat down.The blood flowing in your veins is red and nothing is blue. The blue comes from the way light hits your skin.Nine months before Rosa Parks refused to relinquish her seat to a white person, Claudette Colvin did the exact same thing.There's a myth that Daddy Long-leg spiders are the most venomous spiders in the world and that they just don't like to bite humans, but this is false. Their venom isn't fatal to humans.A strawberry isn't considered a berry, but a watermelon is.Honey never spoils. Therefore, you can eat honey that is 10,000 years old. Peanuts are considered legumes because they grow in the ground which makes them different than nuts.Hippo milk is pink.A human can swim through the arteries of a whale's heart because the heart is THAT big.Speaking of hearts...an octopus has three!
Did you know that...
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I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until
3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them
into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning and find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper
of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to
stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:- Men can't pack a bag.- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having tobe seen with all those elves.- Men don't answer their mail.
Why I think Santa Claus is a woman....
39.2 percent of shoppers will purchase a department store gift card for friends and family, followed by 33.4 percent of shoppers opting for a restaurant gift card. But according to estimates reported in the Journal of State Taxation, the typical American home has an average of $300 in unused or "unredeemed" gift cards. These cards are often misplaced, accidentally thrown out, or only partially redeemed. Between 2005 and 2011, $41 billion in gift cards went... unused.
Thought For The Day
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Grease an 8x8-inch baking pan. In a medium saucepan, bring sugar and milk to a boil. Allow to boil for about 2½ minutes, stirring regularly, and then remove from heat. Add the peanut butter and vanilla and stir until smooth. Pour the mixture into the pan and allow to cool until set. Slice into 1-inch squares.
Aunt Hattie's
HATTIE SHILLINGS
"Hurry-Up" RecipesHousehold Hints
To dry nail polish in a hurry, spray nails with PAM Oil Spray.
Remove Planter's Warts with banana peels. Before bedtime tape a banana peel inside to the skin, over the wart, and cover with a bandage. Within a couple of days the wart will be gone.
Olive oil can be added to bath water for a skin softener.
To prevent hair pins from falling out, bend one prong in a "V" about halfway up and insert in hair. It will stay.
Old lipstick tubes, thoroughly cleaned, are great for purse-sized pill boxes or for pins.
Use a lazy Susan at the bedside to enable sick to reach more items.
Emergency Sinus Relief - swab white vinegar high up in the nostrils.
To remove chewing gum from clothing, upholstery or carpets, heat some white vinegar in a pan and apply it to the gum.
To make ironing easier place a sheet of kitchen foil on the board under the cover, which helps reflect the heat.
When you are doing your laundry put any underwear inside a pillowcase. It will keep all those items together and make it easier for sorting everything once it comes out the wash. You can buy mesh bags designed especially for this.
Tumble dry pillows in a hot tumble dryer once a week for 15 minutes to freshen them and get rid of dust mites.
Separate your clothes by season. If you have a wardrobe with a shelf over the rails, place current seasons clothes on the rails and move out of season clothes on to the shelf. Categorize your clothes by purpose, such as work, casual, and formal.
If you have deodorant stains on your clothes, gently sponge the area with white vinegar. Leave for a few minutes and then wash in hot water.
No-Bake Chocolate-Peanut Butter Candy Bars24 creme-filled chocolate sandwich cookies 1 2/3 cups peanut butter chips 4 cups miniature marshmallows 1/4 cup creamy peanut butter 1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup coarsely chopped honey-roasted peanuts 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips 4 Peanut butter crunchy granola bars 1 (14-oz.) can sweetened condensed milk 1 teaspoon vegetable oil
Line bottom and sides of 13x9-inch glass baking dish with foil, leaving foil hanging over 2 opposite sides of pan. Finely chop cookies.In 2-quart saucepan, cook marshmallows and butter over low heat, stirring constantly, until melted. Stir in chopped cookies and 3/4 cup of the chocolate chips until well mixed. Press in bottom of baking dish. In microwavable bowl, microwave condensed milk and peanut butter chips uncovered on High 60 seconds, stirring once until smooth. Stir in peanut butter. Stir in peanuts and crushed granola bars. Spread over chocolate layer.Microwave remaining 1/4 cup chocolate chips and the oil uncovered on High 30 seconds or until chips can be stirred smooth. Drizzle chocolate diagonally over peanut butter layer. Refrigerate until set. Remove bars from pan, using foil to lift. Cut into 8 rows by 4 rows.
Chocolate-Marshmallow Pillows
Heat oven to 350°. In large bowl, stir cookie mix, oil, water, egg and pecans until soft dough forms. Onto ungreased cookie sheets, drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart.Bake 7 minutes. Remove from oven; immediately press marshmallow half lightly, cut side down, on top of cookie. Bake 1 to 2 minutes longer or just until marshmallows begin to soften. Cool 2 minutes; remove from cookie sheets to cooling racks. Cool completely, about 15 minutes.Meanwhile, in 1-quart nonstick saucepan, melt chocolate chips over low heat, stirring until smooth. Remove from heat. Add whipping cream, butter and vanilla; blend well. Stir in powdered sugar until smooth. Spread frosting over each cooled cookie, covering marshmallow.
It’s Christmas time! Whether you’re planning to give it away, or eat it all yourself--homemade candy is a must for the
holidays. Here’s some easy recipes you can try.
1 pouch double chocolate chunk cookie mix 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips 1/4 cup vegetable oil1/3 cup whipping cream 2 tablespoons water 1 teaspoon butter or margarine
1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla 2/3 cup chopped pecans 1/2 cup powdered sugar 12 large marshmallows, cut in half
2 cups granulated white sugar½ cup milk
1 cup peanut butter (smooth or chunky)1 tsp vanilla extract
Easy Peanut Butter Fudge
Let me guess — your child is not a neat freak. Very few kids are! If her chores have been slipping and her room or play area looks like a disaster area, it may be time to invest in a play tent. From the outside it will always look cute — even if it contains a tornado of toys, books, and stuffed animals.
Hide that clutter with a Kids' Play Tent
Merry ChristmasFrom
The Roane ReaderJustin Stout & Kay Christopher
13 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
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Penny Pinchers* Unclog a drain by pouring in a cup of baking soda followed slowly by a cup of white vinegar – cover and let it sit for five minutes then pour down four liters of boiling water. * Clean copper and brass with salt and lemon juice (three parts salt to one juice).* To prevent car battery corrosion, smear lip balm on clean car battery terminals. * Condition your hair. Apply ½ cup whipped cream to dry hair once a week as a conditioner. Leave on for thirty minutes, then rinse a few times before shampooing thoroughly. * Has your sliding glass door stopped sliding? Spray your door tracks with aerosol furniture polish. The wax in the polish reduces friction plus it won't attract dirt. * Clean gold. An eraser gently scours gold-plated items such as pens and jewelry without damaging the material. * Fix leaks in inflatable inner-tubes, air mattresses, or air pillows. Apply Krazy Glue to seal the hole or leaky valve stem. * Stop small leaks in a car radiator. Add a teaspoon of black pepper to your radiator. The pepper sinks to the bottom, finds its way into small holes, and expands, filling them. * Remove spots from rugs or carpets. Squirt shaving cream on stain, scrub, and wash with water. * Avoid stains on Tupperware. Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces.
Store valuables. Make a two-inch slit along one seam of a tennis ball, then place valuables inside.
Fluff your down jackets or down comforters and reduce static cling. Throw in a handful of balls while jacket is tumbling in dryer. The balls keep the feathers from clumping together so they're spread out evenly throughout the comforter or pillow.
Childproof sharp corners of furniture. Cut old balls into halves or quarters and use packing tape to affix the sections over sharp corners,
Make parking cars in garage easier. Having a tennis ball on a string from the garage ceiling so it will hit the windshield at the spot where you should stop your car.
Prevent a chrome trailer hitch from getting scratched. Slit a ball and put it over the trailer hitch as a protective cover.
Make a walker glide more easily. Cut a hole in two balls and fit them on the back feet of the walker.
Give yourself a foot massage. Roll your foot over a tennis ball.
Remove cobwebs from unreachable places. Wrap a tennis ball inside a dust cloth secured with a few rubber bands and toss at the distant cobweb.
Strengthen your grip. Squeeze a tennis ball in each hand.
Prevent snoring. Sew a ball inside a pocket on the back of your pajama top to prevent you from sleeping on your back.
Prevent a deck chair from slipping through the cracks of a deck. Slit four tennis balls, fit them on the feet of the deck chair.
Make a back massager. Put several tennis balls inside a sock and tie the sock at the end.
Keep your car door open without wasting the battery. Wedge a tennis ball into the door jamb to depress the interior light switch.
Use Tennis Balls to...Zipper stuck? Rub the lead tip of a pencil or a bar of soap along the zipper's teeth. The lubrication will get it moving.
Remove gum from clothes. Put some ice cubes in a plastic zipper-type bag and put the bag on the gum. After a few minutes, you should be able to scrape off the gum with the edge of a knife.
Get rid of perspiration stains on clothing. Soak in salt water and wash, or apply baking soda paste and let sit. Or, put white vinegar on the stain. Wait 30 minutes and then wash the shirt in the hottest water safe for the fabric.
Repair skirt or pants. If you need a small bit of cloth to repair a skirt or some pants use material from inside the pocket or hem. It's an exact match and you can replace the hidden fabric with almost anything and it won't show.
Make socks white again. Boil in water with lemon slice.
When tips come off shoe laces. Harden ends with nail polish.
Tired of retying your kids shoelaces? Spritz the tied laces with water and they'll stay tied longer.
Drying shoes. Stuff with news-paper to keep their shape.
Lift a fresh grease spot from a non-washable fabric shoe. Sprinkle spot with cornstarch. Let set, then brush
Clothes Closet
10. The hours, the weather, the trend toward smaller chimneys.9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.
8. Reindeer and elves have unionized, driving up his cost.7. New tax on flying sleighs.
6. Insurance for flying a sleigh has tripled over the past two years.5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.
4. Air traffic controllers demanding higher kickbacks.3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.
2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.1. The Mrs. told him to.
Make cleaning grease splatters on the wall
behind the stove easier. First, clean the painted wall behind your stove. Then spray the entire area with a generous
coat of furniture polish and buff well with paper
towels. You will then be able to wipe future grease splatters away
easily with a dry sheet of paper towels.
Top Ten Reasons Santa needs a Raise
Kingston Christmas BazaarSaturday, Dec 6th 10a.m.-3p.m.Kingston Community Center
Shop for Christmas Gifts
Enjoy Lunch & benefit Kingston Swim Team
Kid’s Activities:
Candy Cane Run, Ages 8-12 (starts at 10 am)
Candy Cane Hunt, Ages 3-7 (starts at 11am)
Games and Crafts for Kids
Enter your homemade Gingerbread House in ourGingerbread House Contest.
The winner will receive a $75 Gift Card
Proceeds from Bazaar used to offset costs of our annual “Smokin’ The Water” July 4th Festival
For more details:www.kingstonparks.com
865-376-1356
Note: Gingerbread houses must be brought to the Community Center by Wed. Dec. 3rd to be judged. Houses will be displayed at Bazaar and the winner announced
14 The Roane Reader www.roanereader.com DECEMBER 2014
In the West, however, we have a big problem -- we spend and borrow -- we don't save. This creates spectacular busts, which are difficult to climb out of due to the big debt burdens. Because of this "spend and borrow" attitude, the S&P 500 saw a negative return for the first decade of the 21st century, while China and India did great -- despite the volatility. In fact, China and India have such vast room for development that they may beat anything that the S&P 500 has to offer in the next 10 years.
Due to the problems in the West, many central banks -- not just the Federal Reserve -- have embarked on ultra-easy monetary policies that have helped spur on the economic recovery we see at present. The ultra-easy monetary policies of the Western central banks are bullish for Asia as the continent offers the best investment opportunities. Since we don't see the ultra-easy monetary policies ending anytime soon, the party in Asia may last a long time. In fact, capital flows towards the places that offer the best returns -- and in the recent past, the Shanghai Composite registered a 78.8% return, while the Bombay Sensex returned 79.8% on a price-only basis. Any corrections are great buying opportunities in Asia.
The PBOC Has a Better Track Record than the FedIn difference with the U.S., the Chinese have a track record of addressing bubbles before they become problematic. They recently issued a warning report and have been doing a lot to curb
lending that is necessary to survive in 2014. From Bloomberg: "Rapid asset price increases in major markets since 2009 have been pushed by "ultra-loose" monetary policies by governments around the world and "don't mean real
economies have recovered or will recover strongly," the People's Bank of China said in a report posted on its Web site recently. Such gains "unless they receive sufficient support from macroeconomic fundamentals, may lead to a new round of asset bubbles that may burst," the Beijing-based bank said."
Since not every central bank is as responsible as the PBOC, we may end up having a big inflationary problem in a couple of years as these ultra-easy monetary policies are unlikely to end soon. We have to stay invested in the best investment opportunities in the USA, but also guard against this inflationary threat.
Why we are positive Gold?One way to guard against this problem is gold. We have been bullish on gold bullion since 2006. Gold has essentially doubled since then and it's likely to at least double once more, if not
rise further… The recent correction in gold and silver appear to be good entry levels for investors not presently holding a sufficient amount of the yellow metal.Gold bullion's inflation-adjusted all-time high from 1980 was about $2,500 per ounce. With all this printing it can easily surpass that in an inflationary environment. The most conservative
way to invest in gold is by buying physical bullion bars and modern coins or a gold bullion ETF. The most popular such ETF is the SPDR Gold Trust (NYSE: GLD). “Some market experts refer to GLD as “Paper Gold” and call attention to risks of owning this ETF in place of actual physical gold. The Robert James Website, www.robertjames.us offers investors a direct link to a secure trading desk in London, where free research, charts and a view of actual trading taking place in various currencies is available. Access to the trading desk is free of charge. Call Robert James & Associates at 865-376-4925 for assistance if needed.
While we are not gold bugs here at Robert James & Associates, we definitely advise clients to consider precious metals to round out a portfolio. In the current environment, it makes a lot of sense to hold a reasonable amount of gold or silver bullion in addition to proven, guaranteed absolute return products as well as the stocks of quality companies with superior fundamentals.
We had reasonably tame inflation so far in 2014. Inflation may not be a problem for a while, but if this money printing by the FED continues, it will be a big problem. There are peculiari-ties that you need to be aware of when investing in precious metals other than gold – the others behave more like industrial metals. In other words, most of the uses for gold bullion are for precious metals purposes: as a store of value, jewelry and some industrial demand. Most of the uses of palladium, platinum and silver are for industrial use.
This is why in a weak economy, like the one we saw in 2008, gold was up while the rest of the precious metals declined; the more industrial uses for a particular precious metal the bigger the decline. In an improving economy with an inflationary threat on the horizon -- like the one we have at present -- all precious metals are likely to do well.
Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates, Inc. a national financial services company licensed and regulated in 30 states. He may be contacted at 865-376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700. Consultations are free of charge in Crossville, Kingston, Knoxville and Oak Ridge.
Bob Tonachio
Don’t Needlessly Risk Your Retirement! The traditional “three-legged stool” of retirement planning
simply is no longer viable — and it hasn’t been for some time. Traditionally, Americans looking to supplement their employer-sponsored retirement plans, Social Security and personal savings have generally turned to one place — Wall Street- But this vicious recession has turned the stock markets into such nebulous and volatile beasts, you never know when the index is going to bite you, or how much it’s going to devour before its finished ravaging your investments and your retirement.
Where else can pre-retirees turn? As it turns out, hybrid annuities — can provide benefits even a bullish market would be hard-pressed to beat; and chief among those
benefits is a guaranteed stream of lifetime income that cannot be outlived. For the right client, a suitable hybrid annuity can mitigate much of the
anxiety surrounding retirement and increasing longevity… Don’t Delay to Call: Kimberly, VP of Robert James & Associates, Inc.
1-865-376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700 for complete information on Guaranteed Hybrid Annuities…
Americans don’t save and invest as much as -- the Asians do. The Asian’s approach is the old-fashioned way of doing business. This approach has ultimately created prosperous nations with vibrant economies and strong stock markets. our Retirement!
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1. Finish your cell phone conversations before entering the line or at least ask the person you're talking to to hold on while you conduct your transaction. If you're calling home to see if anyone wants something, do so before entering the drive-thru lane. Trying to gather everyone's order by phone as you're actively ordering creates a delay for you the customer as well as everyone in line behind you.2. Eliminate any background noise. Either turn down or turn off any radios or CDs that are blaring noise that may interfere with hearing the order. The employees need to hear the actual order, not what you're listening to in your car. If the restaurant has a drive-thru speaker behind the counter for the food line, people ordering inside can hear everything that happens around the service speaker. This includes the conversations held by other people in the car.(Yes! They can even hear you yell at or spank your children.... it is very awkward!) Also, if you have a loud engine, it is advised to turn it off as well.3. If it is raining, please turn off your windshield wipers before you get to the service window. Not doing so results in your wipers spraying dirty water, anti-freeze leftovers and grime on the service person.4. Turn off headlights at night. The last thing someone in a drive-thru needs is blazing headlights in their mirrors. Parking lights are acceptable. The only exception to this rule is if the area is not lit. You may turn the headlights back on if there is no one in front of you or when exiting the line.5. Know what you want before you get to the speaker box. It's polite to know what you're going to have before you come to the speaker. Pondering and thinking at the speaker wastes the employees' time, as well as the time of the people in the back of you. 6. Speak loudly and clearly. Speak loudly, slowly and clearly but not so slow that that you cause the employee to feel like a child and not so loud that you're screaming at the employee taking your order. You'll always want the food line to know exactly what you want, so if there is any miscommunication or if something is wrong with your order, you may need to go into the restaurant to change it. And finally, be sure to verify each item or meal before leaving the speaker.7. Make sure that the order-taker understands your order. Cashiers at fast food restaurants have multiple duties and may not be giving you their full attention, they might also be speaking with a customer at the service window, or putting equipment away, etc. If you read out your full order in a single breath it will probably be misunderstood. Take small pauses after different items (number one combo...with no pickles and extra mayo) and wait for the cashier to respond ("ok", "yes", etc) before continuing.8. Be aware that you can order condiments at the speaker box. Don't be afraid to tell the order taker to add ketchup, mayonnaise, extra sauces, salt or pepper, and so forth at lunchtime, or jelly, butter, creamer and sugar, and so forth at breakfast to your bag. At most places, it's free!9. As much as possible, avoid ordering three to five items, only to then go back and change the first item. The order taking system is so high-tech that many restaurants with drive-thru service have the grill-staff wearing the same headsets as the order-takers so that they can hear and begin preparing your order as soon as you say "cheeseburger." Do not add to or change your order at the window. As stated earlier, in order to expedite service, employees begin making the food as you're ordering it. If you change your order at the window, the grill team can't hear it and now they must stop making the next person's order and fix what you changed in an effort to not slow down the drive-thru. 10. Extinguish all forms of smoking before you reach the window. Fewer people smoke nowadays and in many places, smoking is not allowed on food premises at all. Therefore, not everyone wants to smell your tobacco or marijuana products when they open the drive-thru window, nor do they want your smoke in their face.11. Be prepared with your payment. Organizing your payment method should be carried out before driving into the line. Trying to search for and dish out change from the deepest crevices of your car seat at the last minute may hold up the line and people's orders. Worse for you, you mightn't have enough to pay!12. Treat the line like an ATM machine. Leave a good space between you and the car in front of you. Have respect for those around you and move forward when they do.13. Prepare cup holders, and other holding areas in your car before you get to the pick up window. Waiting for the customer to move things around while the employee is holding the bag or drinks out the window also creates a delay for the entire line of customers.If your car is like your second basement, the need to create space for the food should be a paramount concern before you get in the queue to order.
Drive-Thru etiquette (Please folks, these workers have enough to do without you making their job harder!)
Gift suggestions for Christmas:To your enemy, forgiveness.To an opponent, tolerance.
16 The Roane Reader www.roanereader.com DECEMBER 2014
P.O. Box 684Kingston, TN 37763
G19 War Memorial Bldg.Nashville, TN 37243
Contact
Ken SENATOR
agerY(615) 741-1449 or (800) 449-8366 ext. 11449Phone:
Here's a Christmas Quiz with 20 questions for you to try!All the answers are somewhere on the site!
1. What's the name of the period leading up to Christmas?2. How many Wise Men brought gifts to Jesus?3. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?4. What was the name of John the Baptist's Mother?5. Who brings presents to children in Holland on the 5th/6th December?
6. How many letters are in the angelic alphabet?7. In what town was Jesus born?8. How many presents were given in total in the 12 Days of Christ-mas?
9. In what decade was the first Christmas Card sent in the UK?10. What country did the family escape to?11. How many of Rudolph's eight companions names start with 'D'?12. What country did Christmas Trees originate from?13. Who was the 'King of the Jews' who ordered the babies to be
killed?14. What's the second line of "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"?15. What was Joseph's job?16. Who started the custom of Wassailing?17. Who were first people to visit the baby Jesus?18. What's lucky to find in your Christmas Pudding?19. What Angel visited Mary?20. Where did the baby Jesus sleep?
No one knows the real birthday of Jesus! No date is given in the Bible, so why do we celebrate it on the 25th December? The early Christians certainly had many arguments as to when it should be celebrated! Also, the birth of Jesus probably didn't happen in the year 1 AD but slightly earlier, somewhere between 2BC and 7BC (there isn't a 0AD - the years go from 1BC to 1AD!).
The first recorded date of Christmas being celebrated on December 25th was in 336AD, during the time of the Roman Emperor Constantine (he was the first Christian Roman Emperor). A few years later, Pope Julius officially declared that the birth of Jesus would be celebrated on the 25th December.
Why is Christmas Day on the 25th of December?Christmas Quiz
1. Advent2. More than one, the Bible
doesn't say how many!3. Deep pan, crisp and even!4 .Elizabeth5. St. Nicholas6. 257. Bethlehem8. 3649. 1840s - 1843 by Sir Henry
Cole10. Egypt11. Three - Dasher, Dancer and
Donner
12. Germany - it was Latvia but it was part of German then!
13. King Herod14. Just like the ones I used to
know15. Carpenter16. The Anglo Saxons - it
means 'good health'17. Shepherds18. A six pence19. Gabriel20. In a manger
ANSWERS:
Happy Birthday
Austin ChristopherDec. 11th
17 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
At the sound of the trumpet and the archangel's voiceOur Lord will descend, what a day to rejoice."Come on home children, your work is all done -The battle is over, the victory is won".
The graves will be opened, the saints will ariseTogether we'll meet Him with joyful cries.Then we'll stand before Him to face our last test-Is it wood, hay or stubble, or gold at it's best?
All our works by fire will be tried,Only those that give glory to Christ shall abide.On earth, great tribulation such as never has been-The minds of many misled by that "man of sin".
Then, we'll return with our Saviour, white horses we'll rideArrayed in fine linen and Christ as our guide.He'll smite with the sword and rule with the rod-And tread the wine-press of wrath of Almighty God.
Thank you for the beauty of the mountain terrainFor the breathtaking view looking down on the plain.Thank you for eyes to view such bliss-But remind us of One who gave all of this.Lord, thank you for life, only once we pass through;Take our eyes off of "me" and place them on "You"-Then we'll view the created, eyes filled with new pleasureSeeing first the Creator, the world's greatest treasure.
The Second Coming of ChristI Thessalonians 4:13-18
by: Katie Bailey Randolph
The sun will shine, as shine it will,On the garden spot that’s called Spring Hill.
It lights up a wonderful mother, you see,The most talented beauty in all Tennessee.
She schools and guides her crew at home,And gives them comfort when they do roam.
Accomplishments abound in herWe often note when they occur.
So she’ll enjoy, we hope and pray,A really neat and cool birthday.
Caroline, my Granddaughter
Happy BirthdayMissi Lemons Scandlyn
Dec. 17th
by: Donald Strange
God’s time is not always our timeWe want to put God in a microwaveWhen it was for us, His life He gaveWhen we pray, we need to wait each dayWhere we will not, get in God’s wayWe need to let patience have her perfect work.Where we will be entire wanting for nothingKnowing that God is always right on time
by: Clara MilesGod’s Time
As the Christmas season is drawing nearChristmas bells we will soon hearGifts of all kinds fill each storeDecorating the home with trees and moreChildren excited smiles on each place Celebrating with friends and family But don’t forget Jesus the gift he gave to each Now as snow begins to fall Say loud with voices Merry Christmas to all
Christmas Season
by: Donna Kay Reynolds
Christmas is a time of laughter, love and cheerAs carolers sing through the winter’s chillChildren excited as the snow beginsPostmen are busy with all packages to sendChristmas will soon bring many smiles,with all shopping steps turn into milesWe should not forget our Savior’s birthFor it was salvation that He gave to us As we remember family and friendsWe should always focus and remember HimNow with laughter, love and cheerWe will toast with our eggnog as weFill it to the brim.
Christmas A Time of Love
by: Donna Kay Reynolds
When my soul should choose to die,listen my love you shall hear me cry.Apart though we may be you shall always be a part of me.And when I pretend I didn't go alone,you will be the one to whom I hold on.And as my soul rises from me, surely you will rise with me.To love forever my soul would wait upon,you to enter heaven's gate for without you,I would always be waiting for you, you waiting for me.
By: Nina PowersMy Soul And The
19 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
Free Case Review.No Attorney Fee Unless You Get Paid!
SCOTTMCCLUEN
To Schedule an Appointment M - F:Call:865-388-0017
1. The apartment of 2 psychia-trists.2. The lad is a diminutive percus-sionist.3. Decorate the entry-ways.4. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis.5. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.6. Present me naughty but dual incisors for this festive Yuletide.7. The smog-less bewitching hour arrived.8. Exuberation to this orb.9. 288 Yuletide hours.10. Do you perceive the same longitudinal pressure which stimulates my auditory sense organs.11. The red-suited pa is due in this burg.12. Stepping on the pad cover.13. Uncouth dolt has his beezer in the booze and thinks he is a Dark Cloud's boyfriend.14. Far back in a hay bin.15. Leave and do an elevated broadcast.16. That exiguous hamlet south of the holy city.17. Behold! I envisioned a trio of nautical vessels.18. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully.19. A joyful song relative to hollow metallic vessels which vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck.20. As the guardians of little woolly animal's protected
How many Christmas songs can you identify?
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin',I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the lawsand I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,and you ain't taking me in without probable cause."Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like."
The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller,with a big beer gut belly,that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."
"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said."The man I'm describing in dressed all in red.I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean.Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought what the bell,it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail.I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten,and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."
When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost.I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's.But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head,and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder,a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun,when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.
And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'.I thought he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'.So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!"But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.
So I popped a warning shot over his head.Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled.And as he flew off I heard him extort,"That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."
'Twas the Night AFTER ChristmasWritten by Jeff Foxworthy 1. I once received a toilet seat.
2. The book What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I was in high school and not even dating.
3. A fifth of whiskey, even though I’m an alcoholic. 4. A very nice sweater that someone had worn, stained, and re-gift-
ed to me. 5. A donation in my name to a cause I don’t support. 6. I got my own Christmas gift back the next year.
7. A subscription to the Nutrisystem weight-loss program. 8. A bar of soap.
9. A turquoise man-kini. I am 60 years old and weigh 250 pounds. 10. An iron and ironing board from my (now ex-) husband.
11. A book titled 101 Wines Under $5.12. A bag of cotton balls.
13. A Christmas tree ornament. I’m Jewish. 14. A pill vial designed like a white elephant and filled with the
baby teeth of my friend’s children.15. Legos. I’m 34.
16. I received a book on Chinese culture written in Chinese. 17. A doorknob.
18. A used spatula.19. One slipper.
20. A book of etiquette from my mother-in-law.
The Worst Christmas Gifts Ever received
“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.”
20 The Roane Reader www.roanereader.com DECEMBER 2014
08/31/14 vs. Utah State TV Knoxville, Tenn. W, 38-709/06/14 vs. Arkansas State TV Knoxville, Tenn. W, 34-1909/13/14 at Oklahoma TV Norman, Okla. L, 34-1009/27/14 at Georgia * TV Athens, Ga. L, 35-3210/04/14 vs. Florida * Knoxville, Tenn. L, 10-910/11/14 vs. Chattanooga Knoxville, Tenn. W, 45-1010/18/14 at Ole Miss * Oxford, Miss. L, 34-310/25/14 vs. Alabama * Knoxville, Tenn. L, 34-2011/01/14 at South Carolina * Columbia, S.C. W, 45-4211/15/14 vs. Kentucky * Knoxville, Tenn. W, 50-1611/22/14 vs. Missouri * Knoxville, Tenn. L, 29-2111/29/14 at Vanderbilt * Nashville, Tenn. W, 24-17*Conference Event
2014 ScheduleDate Opponent / Event Location Time / Result
M O T O R SLLC
882 1165CallJESUS SAVES
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Located 300 feet north of the red light at the intersection of Pine Ridge Rd & Ruritan Rd in So. Harriman
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American Football grew out of English sports such as rugby and soccer and became popular on American college campuses in the late 1800s.In 1876, a coach named Walter Camp, who is considered the “Father of American Football,” helped produce the first rules of American football. Among important changes were the introduction of line scrimmages and down-and-distance rules.The American Professional Football Association was formed in 1920; two years later it changed its name to the National Football League (NFL), which would ultimately become the major league of American football.It takes about 600 cows to make one full season’s worth of NFL footballs.The Wilson Sporting Goods Company has been the official football supplier for the NFL since 1941. They make more than 2 million footballs of all sorts every year.Only two players have caught, rushed, and thrown a touchdown against the same team in the same game: Walter Payton in 1979 and David Patton in 2001.While football originally was popular in Midwestern industrial towns, its growth in popularity around the U.S. is typically traced to the 1958 NFL Championship game, which has been called the “Greatest Game Ever Played.”Dallas Cowboys running back Tony Dorsett is the only player to rush for a 99-yard touchdown, in 1983.Approximately 78% of NFL players go bankrupt within 2 years of retiring.In 1892, former Yale star William “Pudge” Heffelfinger became the first recognized pro player when he accepted $500 to play for the Allegheny Athletic Association.Though football games usually last around 3 hours, the ball is typically in play for only 11 minutes. Around 56% of the game on TV is devoted to replays.In an NFL game, as many as 75 minutes, or about 60% of total TV air time (excluding commercials), is spent on shots of players standing on the line of scrimmage, huddling, or just walking around between snaps.Injured football players in televised NFL games get six more seconds of camera time than celebrating players. The average age of an NFL cheerleader is 25. NFL cheerleaders typically make $50–$75 a game. However, by the time they spend money on makeup, hair accessories, dance classes, etc., they end up losing money.During broadcasting of NFL games, cheerleaders are on TV for only about 3 seconds.Coaches and referees receive around 7% of the face time in a game.An NBC’s Sunday Night Football producer says that he makes it a point to get Dallas cheerleaders on screen but “otherwise, it’s not really important . . . if it’s the Jets, I could care less.”In the 1930s, NFL game telecasts were simply a constant feed of the field. Instant replay became commonplace in the mid-1960s, which helped fill the idle moments of the game. By the 1990s, some football broadcasts showed about 100 replays per game.Deion Sanders is the only person in history to both hit an MLB home run and score an NFL touchdown in the same week. He’s also the only person to play in the World Series and the Super Bowl.The NFL has an annual revenue of $9 billion, with a profit of $1 billion. MLB has an annual revenue of $7.2 billion, with a profit of $49 million.The NFL consists of 32 teams, with an average team value of $1 billion. MLB has 30 teams, with an average team value of $523 million.The average game attendance for an NFL game is 66,957 spectators. For MLB, it’s 30,135 spectators.The Baltimore Ravens are named after Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven.” The team mascots are named Edgar, Allan, and Poe. Poe wrote his famous poem while living in Baltimore in the 1830s.
Fun Facts About Football
happy birthdayLarry (Ricky) Christopher
dec. 24th
21 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
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High School Basketball2014-2015 Schedule
Roane County High School Tue Nov. 11 7:30 PM Anderson County Fri Nov. 14 7:30 PM Meigs County (Hall of Fame) Tue Nov. 18 7:30 PM Sweetwater Tue Nov. 25 7:30 PM at Sequoyah Tue Dec. 2 7:30 PM at Sweetwater Fri Dec. 5 7:30 PM at Loudon Mon Dec. 8 7:30 PM Rockwood Tue Dec. 9 7:30 PM Midway Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM at Rockwood Thu Dec. 18 7:30 PM Alcoa D Mon Jan. 5 7:30 PM Loudon Fri Jan. 9 7:30 PM Knoxville Catholic D Fri Jan. 16 7:30 PM Harriman Tue Jan. 20 8:00 PM at Knoxville Catholic D Fri Jan. 23 8:00 PM at Harriman Tue Feb. 3 7:30 PM at Alcoa D Fri Feb. 6 7:30 PM at Midway Mon Feb. 9 7:30 PM Sequoyah
Harriman High School Tue Nov. 11 7:30 PM at King's Academy (Hall of Fame) Thu Nov. 13 7:30 PM Concord Christian(Hall of Fame) Tue Nov. 18 8:00 PM Oliver Springs Fri Nov. 21 8:00 PM at Wartburg Mon Nov. 24 8:00 PM Oneida N (Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Fri Dec. 5 8:00 PM Rockwood D Sat Dec. 6 8:00 PM Tellico Plains D Tue Dec. 9 8:00 PM at Greenback D Thu Dec. 11 7:30 PM King's Academy Fri Dec. 12 8:00 PM at Oliver Springs Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM Midway D Fri Dec. 19 8:00 PM at Rockwood D Tue Jan. 6 8:00 PM Greenback D Fri Jan. 9 7:30 PM at Midway D Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM Wartburg Fri Jan. 16 7:30 PM at Kingston Tue Jan. 20 8:00 PM Grace Christian D Fri Jan. 23 8:00 PM Kingston Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM at Grace Christian D Fri Jan. 30 8:00 PM Meigs County D Tue Feb. 3 7:30 PM at Meigs County D Fri Feb. 6 7:30 PM at Tellico Plains D
Rockwood High School Fri Nov. 21 8:00 PM at Sunbright Tue Nov. 25 8:00 PM Sunbright Tue Dec. 2 7:30 PM at Meigs County D Fri Dec. 5 8:00 PM at Harriman D Mon Dec. 8 7:30 PM at Kingston Tue Dec. 9 7:30 PM at Sweetwater Fri Dec. 12 8:00 PM Meigs County D Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM Kingston Fri Dec. 19 8:00 PM Harriman D Mon Dec. 29 2:30 PM Unaka N(Harriman Christmas Tournament) Tue Dec. 30 8:30 PM Oneida N(Harriman Christmas Tournament) Wed Dec. 31 8:30 PM Lenoir City N(Harriman Christmas Tournament) Fri Jan. 2 8:00 PM Cosby Tue Jan. 6 8:00 PM at Cosby Fri Jan. 9 7:30 PM at Tellico Plains D Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM Tellico Plains D Fri Jan. 16 8:00 PM at Grace Christian D Tue Jan. 20 8:00 PM Greenback D Fri Jan. 23 8:00 PM Grace Christian D Mon Jan. 26 8:00 PM Sweetwater Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM at Wartburg Fri Jan. 30 7:30 PM at Midway D Tue Feb. 3 8:00 PM at Greenback D Fri Feb. 6 8:00 PM Wartburg Mon Feb. 9 8:00 PM Midway D
Midway Green Waves Tue Nov. 11 7:30 PM Mt. Pisgah Christian (Hall of Fame) Mon Nov. 17 7:30 PM Coalfield Tue Nov. 18 7:30 PM at Monterey Fri Nov. 21 7:30 PM Oakdale Mon Nov. 24 7:30 PM Sunbright Tue Nov. 25 7:30 PM Loudon Fri Nov. 28 7:30 PM Tellico Plains D Tue Dec. 2 8:00 PM at Oakdale Fri Dec. 5 7:30 PM Greenback D Tue Dec. 9 7:30 PM at Kingston Thu Dec. 11 7:30 PM Grace Christian D Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM at Harriman D Fri Dec. 19 7:30 PM Meigs County D Sat Dec. 27 8:30 PM Bledsoe County(Midway Holiday Classic) Mon Jan. 5 8:00 PM at Sunbright Tue Jan. 6 7:30 PM at Tellico Plains D Fri Jan. 9 7:30 PM Harriman D Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM at Grace Christian D Fri Jan. 16 8:00 PM at Greenback D Tue Jan. 20 7:30 PM at Loudon Fri Jan. 23 7:30 PM at Meigs County D Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM at Coalfield Fri Jan. 30 7:30 PM Rockwood D Fri Feb. 6 7:30 PM Kingston Mon Feb. 9 8:00 PM at Rockwood D
Oliver Springs High School Thu Nov. 13 7:30 PM at Tellico Plains (Hall of Fame) Sat Nov. 15 1:30 PM at William Blount (Hall of Fame) Sat Nov. 15 4:30 PM Knoxville Webb N (Hall of Fame at William Blount) Tue Nov. 18 8:00 PM at Harriman Thu Nov. 20 8:30 PM at Jackson County Fri Nov. 21 8:00 PM Cosby Tue Nov. 25 6:00 PM Meigs County(Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Fri Nov. 28 6:00 PM Grace Christian (Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Sat Nov. 29 6:30 PM Berean Christian(Oliver Springs Thanksgiving Classic) Tue Dec. 2 8:00 PM at Sequoyah Fri Dec. 5 8:00 PM Coalfield D Tue Dec. 9 8:00 PM at Oakdale D Thu Dec. 11 7:30 PM Jackson County Fri Dec. 12 8:00 PM Harriman Tue Dec. 16 8:00 PM at Jellico D Sat Dec. 20 5:30 PM Greenville (SC) N(Seahawk Christmas Classic at Hilton Head) Tue Jan. 6 8:00 PM at Wartburg D Fri Jan. 9 8:00 PM at Coalfield D Tue Jan. 13 8:00 PM Oneida D Fri Jan. 16 8:00 PM Jellico D Tue Jan. 20 8:00 PM at Sunbright D Thu Jan. 22 7:30 PM Sequoyah Sat Jan. 24 7:30 PM William Blount Tue Jan. 27 8:00 PM Oakdale D Fri Jan. 30 8:00 PM Wartburg D Tue Feb. 3 8:00 PM Sunbright D Fri Feb. 6 8:00 PM at Oneida D
A message from Justin Stout &Kay Christopher - Co-Owners of
The Roane ReaderOur only goal is to publish a paper that
everyone wants to read and everyone enjoys.
We have never increased our overall advertising rates in the 22 years of our existence, and we
have no plans to in the near future.
The ads you see in The Roane Reader pays for our overhead, which includes the printing costs, software, supplies and other
necessary expenses.
So, if you enjoy receiving The Roane Reader please patronize our sponsors, and tell them
you saw their ad in our paper.Thank you all very much.
SCHIZOPHRENIA:Do you Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
DEMENTIA:I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas.
NARCISSISTIC:Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me.
MANIC:Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
Silent Anedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, .......(better start again)PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged
22 The Roane Reader www.roanereader.com DECEMBER 2014
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354-9957354-9290235 Jackson Square
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THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿)
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Go to www.roanereader.com/thephantom PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL(optional)
and PHONE NUMBER. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!!
Entries that fail to provide all this information will not qualify!
ALL CORRECT ENTREES WILL BE ENTERED INTO A SECOND CHANCE DRAWING.
Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader
Answer Given: Trenton St. Baptist Church leading into the daycare section.
Corey Webb
In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!"
I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said,
"See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
A Southern Christmas
HappyBirthdayArlene
DaughteryDec. 25th
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.So I went to a shrink and told him, "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared and I think I'm going crazy.""Just put yourself in my hands for one year", said the shrink. "Come in and talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears"."How much do you charge?""Eighty dollars per visit", replied the doctor. "I'll sleep on it", I said.Six months later the doctor met me on the street. "Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?", he asked."Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.""Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude, he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?""He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
PSYCHIATRIST VS. BARTENDER
Tired of searching for aRoane Reader ?Have one mailed to you.
Send $16 to 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, TN 37748
"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall".
23 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
United States Coast Guard AuxiliaryWATTS BAR GROUP, KINGSTONWhen you join the Auxiliary you could:
Find yourself saving livesBecome an instructor and teach boating safety classes
Train for patrols on the waterEnjoy fellowship with othersAND MUCH MORE!
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Rockwood Memories
By: Ray ColletWhen I was Young
Hello Readers, Well the football season has ended with the exception of the high school playoffs and will end soon for the college teams except for the bowl games. Our Tigers went through a rough season but really made
us proud of their team. With several veterans returning, let's hope next year will be a championship year. The Vols sure have made a comeback from last season and as I write this, the Bowl Games are still undecided , I am sure the Vols will get a Bowl bid somewhere. I came across some information that Mr. Ray R. Baird wrote in a 1980 edition of the Rockwood Times, let me share it with you."Before the football season is entirely over, we would like to write about a promotion that for nearly
thirty years was very successful and brought much favorable publicity to Rockwood. This was the annual "Jaycee Bowl," played on Civitan Field and matched outstanding (sometimes undefeated) high school football teams in a post season encounter.The "Jaycee Bowl" , as its name implies was sponsored by the Rockwood Jaycees which for three
decades following World War II was a live-wire service and civic organization composed of young men between the ages of 21 and 35. We do not have a list of Charter members, but among them were James R. Allen (first president), W.C. "Tec" Coppinger, Wm. H. Hamm, Jr., Tom and Russell Simmons, Joe Bobbitt, Lee Bilbrey, Polk Cooley, Bill Billings, Robert Kidd, W.H. Luttrell, Ed Foland, James S. Smith, Burl Swanner, R.O.Wright, Maurice Grief, and Ray R. Baird. Many other of the area's young men later joined and assumed leadership in the organization as the older members became ineligible after reaching the age of 36.In addition to the Jaycee Bowl, the Rockwood Jaycees were sponsors of the downtown Christmas
lighting and decoration for many years, plus prizes for the best holiday lighted and decorated homes in the area. They sponsored July 4th Celebrations on Civitan Field, promoted safety drives, "Get Out And Vote campaigns and participated in scores of other promotions and events of great benefit to the city and area.Aiding the Jaycees in all of their promotions, as well as successful endeavors of their own were the
Jaycettes, wives of the Jaycees. At an organizational in the Baird home, the Jaycettes chose Mrs. Ethel (Wm H. Jr.) Hamm as first president. Others serving as president during the early years of the Jaycettes included, Louise Baird, Virginia Bilbrey, Jennie Coppinger and Mary Foland. The Jaycees could not possibly carried out their many successful projects without the help and cooperation of the Jaycettes,It is most regrettable that both of the fine civic organizations were allowed to cease in recent years. The
Rockwood area and our young citizens of Jaycee age (now 18-36) are the losers. Many of our state and national leaders received the first leadership training as members of the Jaycees and Jaycettes.Rockwood High School had winning football teams following World War II under the management
of the Rockwood Athletic Commission. In 1947 the "Jaycee Bowl" played on Civitan Field between Rockwood and Rhea High of Dayton. The Tigers were narrowly defeated by Rhea, but the game was a tremendous success in every way. Later the RHS Tigers played in three more Jaycee Bowls winning each one. In 1957, it was Rockwood 7 Jefferson 6; 1970 RHS 20, Knox Rule 0; and 1973 Rockwood 13 Meigs 12.The largest crowd in history to see a Jaycee Bowl encounter was on Thanksgiving night 1950 when
two undefeated teams, Loudon and Spring City met, 3800 fans paid to see this game in ideal football weather. However, the next morning we awoke to six inches of snow on the ground.Perhaps the most thrilling game of all Jaycee Bowl events was in 1954 when Harriman defeated
Clinton 18-12 scoring in the last minute on a "made-up" playing maneuver. Another thriller was in 1967 when Kingston scored in the last 50 seconds to down Dunlap 7-3. Among other schools to participate in the annual Jaycee Bowl games were McMinn Co., Bradley Co., LaFollette, Tellico Plains, Red Bank, Brainard, Lenoir City, Etowah, Midway, Whitwell, Oneida, Crossville, Sparta , and Sweetwater.The Rockwood Jaycee Bowl was played annually for 29 years, the last game being in 1976 when
Maryville Porter and Sweetwater played. Ray R. Baird was the only person, with the possible exception of Bill Billings that witnessed every one of the games. They were all exciting with pageantry , (each year School and Bowl Queens were crowned) and promotion,. Thousands of visitors including State Jaycee officials and celebrities attended. In 1975, Mr. Tom Simmons, chairman of the first bowl game in 1948, was awarded a special plaque of commendation and the previous year, Ray R. Baird and the Rockwood Times were honored for their contributions.Due to the TSSAA championship playoffs and district play, now in effect, most high school bowl
games have ceased. But the annual Jaycee Bowl has the distinction of being the most prestigious and best known continuous post-season scholastic bowl game (1948-1976) in the state and perhaps the nation." Merry Christmas to all....Ray
Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.
Garbage would take itself out.
The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle."
Instead of "beer-belly," you'd get "beer-biceps."
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Two words... "Ally McNaked."
When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop :"Nice one, That's $10.00 off".
People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.
Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!"
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an accept-able response to "I love you."
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night," would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
You would have a remote control to adjust your wife’s voice.
All recliners would have a built-in refrigerator.
If Men Truly Ran The World...
24 The Roane Reader
Clayton Homes Super Store - AthensClayton Homes Super Store - Athens2104 South Congress Parkway
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10. View-MasterThis stereoscope was unveiled at the 1939 New York World’s Fair as a way to view photos of tourist attractions in 3D and got its big break when it landed a licensing agreement with Disney. The old-school device still exists in some form.9. Star Wars figurinesEver wonder why every summer blockbuster seems to come standard with a line of toys? Credit Star Wars‘ 1977 marketing campaign, which encouraged people to buy empty boxes with coupons redeemable for collectible Star Wars-themed toys. That opened up the collectible category and made collecting cool. 8. Doc McStuffinsThe toy line based on the Disney Junior animated TV star who is doctor to her stuffed animals was the first black figure to become popular among kids of all races, boasting $500 million in sales last year. 7. Super SoakerThis pump-action water gun literally blew its competition out of the water, so to speak. Before NASA engineer Lonnie Johnson invented and licensed it to the Larami Corporation (later acquired by Hasbro) in 1989, water pistols were cheap throwaway toys that you gave to somebody at a birthday party. 6. Easy Bake OvenCooked up in 1963 by Kenner Products (now part of Hasbro), it was the first toy that allowed kids to make edible food, a brand new category of play. Now stores feature devices that make s’mores, snow cones, cotton candy, cupcakes, and most recently, cake pops.5. Chatty CathyThe fact that dolls talk started with Chatty Cathy. She was the first portable, interactive doll that said things like “Let’s play house” or “I love you” when children pulled her drawstring. Mattel made it from 1959 to the mid-1960s.4. Nerf Bow and ArrowThe NERF “Bow ‘N’ Arrow” launched the toy blaster market when it was introduced in 1991. Up until the 1980s, NERF had always been the hoop and basketball, so the bow and arrow changed NERF’s entire brand to where it is today, which is more of a blaster with foam darts.3. G.I. JoeNo one thought boys would play with a doll—until Hasbro introduced him in the middle of the Cold War as an “action figure” named after Government-Issued Joe, the World War II nickname for regular soldiers. His most enduring impact may be his bendable frame. You couldn’t bend Barbie’s knees or her elbows—she just sort of stood there while you explained what she was doing. But a kid could pose G.I. Joe doing almost anything.2. BarbieMattel claims a Barbie doll is sold every three seconds, which would make the billion-dollar brand the world’s most popular doll for girls. And she’s a pretty good role model, having held more than 150 careers—including doctor, scientist and lawyer—since her debut in 1959, and always keeping an active lifestyle. 1. LEGONever mind that LEGO is the world’s biggest toy company—bringing in $2.3 billion in the first half of 2014 compared to Mattel’s $2 billion—and that it has spawned action-figures, TV shows, a fan conference and, most recently, a hit film. Since its debut in 1958, LEGO has also redefined the potential of playthings, allowing kids to build permanent structures from scratch, in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and “take them anywhere they want.
26 The Roane Reader www.roanereader.com DECEMBER 2014
SiteAdmin O�ceRolling AcresFairmont
Phone865-376-2308865-882-0808865-882-8737
Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applicationsfor the 2013/2014 Program Year
P.O. Box 790Kingston, TN 37763www.mecaa.net
Mid-East Community Action Agency
Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families
To complete an application or to get information please call the Fairmont Center in Harriman at 865-882-8737 Monday-Wednesday
Mid-East Community Action AgencyRoane and Loudon Counties
Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK
Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.
SiteAdmin O�ceRolling AcresFairmont
Phone865-376-2308865-882-0808865-882-8737
Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applicationsfor the 2013/2014 Program Year
P.O. Box 790Kingston, TN 37763www.mecaa.net
Mid-East Community Action Agency
Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families
To complete an application or to get information please call the Fairmont Center in Harriman at 865-882-8737 Monday-Wednesday
Mid-East Community Action AgencyRoane and Loudon Counties
Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK
Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.
SiteAdmin O�ceRolling AcresFairmont
Phone865-376-2308865-882-0808865-882-8737
Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applicationsfor the 2013/2014 Program Year
P.O. Box 790Kingston, TN 37763www.mecaa.net
Mid-East Community Action Agency
Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families
To complete an application or to get information please call the Fairmont Center in Harriman at 865-882-8737 Monday-Wednesday
Mid-East Community Action AgencyRoane and Loudon Counties
Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK
Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.
Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long,inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.
For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or [email protected] for details.
The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road - turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat
launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left.
Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long. Public is welcome!
or short story you’ve written? Send it to us at 197 Shady Dr.
Harriman, TN 37748, and we’ll print it!
Christmas TriviaQ.(1) How do you know Santa has to be a man? Ans. No woman is going to wear the same outfit every year.Q.(2) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? Ans. You do all the work and the fat guy gets all the credit.Q.(3) What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Ans. Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !Q.(4) What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Ans. Platform shoes !Q.(5) What did the big candle say to the little candle ? Ans. I'm going out tonight !Q.(6) What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Ans. Your teeth !Q.(7) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? Ans. It's Christmas, Eve !Q.(8) What’s in Dec. that’s not in any other month? Ans. The letter "D" !Q.(9) Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ? Ans. Because the poor didn't have any !Q.(10) What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ans. Ice caps!Q.(11) How can a snowman lose weight? Ans. He waits until it gets warmer!Q.(12) What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ans. Snowflakes.Q.(13) What goes red white red white red white? Ans. Santa Claus rolling down a hill!Q.(14) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Ans. Santapplause!Q.(15) What is Santa’s wife called ? Ans. Mary Christmas!Q.(16) What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move? Ans. Santa Pause!Q.(17) How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack? Ans. Only one - after then it is not empty any more. Q.(18) What king is the children's favorite at Christmas time? Ans. A stocking!Q.(19) What kind of bird can write? Ans. A pen-guin!Q.(20) Why does Santa have 3 gardens? Ans. So he can ho-ho-ho.
Funny Christmas Questions-Answers
ANSWERS TO CHRISTMAS TRIVIA:
Green; Mouse; On the roof; December 25th; Coal; A sleigh; Frosty; Cookies and milk; Down the chimney; Jelly.
What color is the Grinch?
In the poem "The Night before Christmas", not a creature was stirring not even a what?
Where does Santa usually land his sleigh?
Which one day do people celebrate Christmas on?
In the song "Frosty the Snowman", what are eyes made out of?
What does Santa Claus usually use to deliver Christmas presents?
Who is the famous snowman that also lives at the North Pole?
What is Santa's favorite snack?
How does Santa get in to most houses to deliver presents?
When Santa laughs, his belly shakes like a bowl full of…
They eat lichen a type of moss, grass and plants.Reindeer lives up to 15 years in the wild.A reindeer has brown soft fur with white fur on their neck and parts of their back.They weigh from between 240-700 lbs.Reindeer are usually 4-5 ft tall not including their antlers. Their antlers are 3ft tall!Did you know that reindeer are the only deer in which both male and females grow antlers. They shed their antlers in the winter.Like a humans fingerprint no two reindeer antlers are exactly the same.Reindeer migrate, during the winter reindeer’s migrate South. During the summer they migrate North. The trip is 1,200 miles round-trip. That is one of the world’s largest migrations.Did you know that reindeer can run 50 miles per hour!A male reindeer is called a Buck. A female reindeer is called a Doe. A baby reindeer is called a FawnA mother usually gives birth to one fawn a year but sometimes two are born.A fawn is 10-11 pounds when born.A reindeer’s milk has more fat than cow’s milk.
Reindeer Facts
27 The Roane Readerwww.roanereader.comDECEMBER 2014
Outreach ProgramWalnut Hill Church's mission is reaching the lost and helping people in need.
The Outreach program needs items donated to make them available to needy people in our area.
Outreach Leader at 865-590-7192 or 865-308-9283.
Clothing - all sizes
Shoes
Socks
Shampoo
Soap
Tooth brushes
Toothpaste
Underclothes
and other items
Stamps & Cards
School Supplies
Back Packs
Clothes Hangers
Clothing - all sizes
Shoes
Socks
Shampoo
Soap
Tooth brushes
Toothpaste
Underclothes
and other items
Stamps & Cards
School Supplies
Back Packs
Clothes Hangers
Please pray for the Outreach program.
Let God lead us in everything we do.
The people who get the items will be screened and records will be kept to assure the program is used in the right way.
Now forming classes for abused women
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NOTICE ROANE COUNTY TAXPAYERSHow and where to pay your taxes this year:
(A fee will be charged for credit/debit card transactions)
Call 1-877-768-5048 for phone payments(You will need your receipt number.A fee is charged for this transaction.)
Mail payments with check to:Roane County Trustee
P.O. Box 296Kingston, TN 37763
(Please include receipt number on check.)
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The Joys of Having Children Whenever your, or someone else's, kids are out of control, you can take comfort from this thought.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was: "Don't"."Don't what?" Adam replied."Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said."Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve...we got forbidden fruit!""No way!""Yes way!""Don't eat that fruit!" said God."Why?""Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and was angry."Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" the First Parent asked."Uh huh, " Adam replied."Then why did you?""I dunno" Eve answered."She started it!" Adam said."Did not!""DID NOT!!"Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had disobedient children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and keep away from children ;)
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said,"Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress." "Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by being pleasant and giving him plenty of back rubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television." "And, most importantly satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going to die," she replied.
The Doctor Visit
There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chop-ping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
The Christmas Tree
We wish you a Happy Birthday
ArnisAmes
Dec. 30th
www.roanereader.com28 The Roane Reader DECEMBER 2014
Every Tuesday Celebrate Recovery meets at 6 pm atKingston First Baptist Church.
It's a faith based program for anyone with a hurt, habit, or a hang-up.Everyone is welcome!
Celebrate Recovery!
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1 - Keep Christ the Center of Christmas CelebrationsTake the gifts, the wrapping, the parties, the cards, the lights, and the decorations, and move them off the center stage of your Christmas drama this year. Make Jesus Christ the shinning star and the central focus of your family Christmas celebrations. Here are some simple ways to do that: 2 - Make Homemade Christmas GiftsWhile searching the web, you can find exceptional ideas for homemade Christmas gifts. With many of these, you don't have to be especially gifted with crafts skills. 3 - Give Gifts of ServiceBe imaginative by giving redeemable coupons to each family member. Provide a back rub, run an errand, do the dishes, clean out a closet, or rake the yard. The possibilities are endless, and by making it personal and meaningful, the blessings of giving through service will continue to multiply. 4 - Family Gift ExchangeFor years our family has been enjoying the simplicity and amuse-ment of family gift exchanges, not to mention the added benefit of saving money at Christmas! Some years we celebrate "Secret Santa" style by drawing names and buying a gift for just one person. Other years we do a "White Elephant" or "Dirty Santa" style exchange. You can set your own spending limits and rules for the game, keeping the focus on fun and family interaction. 5 - Give Practical Gifts Since my husband and I enjoy the whole process of surprising each other and unwrapping gifts together, to save money, we give several practical gifts consisting of things we need and would be spending money on anyway. 6 - Make Your Own Christmas DecorationsI have always enjoyed the cozy, comfortable look and feel of home-made Christmas decorations. 7 - Rethink Christmas CardsThere's no law that says you have to send Christmas cards every year! Little by little, you can whittling down your list and send them every other year. With email, Facebook and other online options, you can lift this burden from your budget.8 - Rethink Christmas Gift WrappingWe buy all of our gift wrapping supplies at discount stores like Dollar General and Big Lots, and we buy them on sale, after Christ-mas, for the following year. 9 - Spread Out the ExpenseSpread out the expense of holiday meals. Instead of one person preparing the entire menu, each family member makes a dish (or three) and brings it to share. 10 - Set a Budget and Stick to It
How to save $$$ during Christmas Armadillos almost always give birth to identical quadruplets.
Unicorns aren't real, but they're still the official animal of Scotland.
There are more fake flamingos in the world than real ones.
For every human there is on Earth, there are about 1.6 million ants.
There's 10 times more bacteria in your body than cells.
And about 90% of the cells that make up our body are made of bacteria or fungi.
Swimming within an hour of eating doesn’t actually lead to cramps or drowning. ( O h yeah...now I learn this, after Mama made us wait an hour ev-erytime we had a picnic and went swimming)!! Aspirin can save your life during a heart attack...but only if you chew the pill up before swallowing.
Fun FactsManny: How do you like the drum set you got for Christmas?Theo: I love it!Manny: Why?Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!
Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
www.roanereader.com 29 The Roane ReaderDECEMBER 2014
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Pet’s Page1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreci-ate long comforting dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
a. Don't pee on the tree
b. Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree
c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree
d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interest-ing or that have your name on them, don't rip them open
e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
b. Don't eat off the buffet table
c. Beg for goodies subtly
d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa
e. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important)
b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house
c. Tolerate children
d. Turn on your charm big time
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.DON'T BITE HIM!!
Warning to dogs during the Christmas holiday
(Sing as Winter Wonderland)Dog tags ring, are you listening’?In the lane, snow is glistening’.It’s yellow, NOT white,I’ve been there tonight,Marking up my winter wonder-land.
Smell that tree?That’s my fragrance.It’s a signfor wandering vagrants;“Avoid where I pee,it’s MY pro-per-ty!Marked up as my winter wonder-land.”
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,Following the classical design.Then I’ll lift my leg and let it go Man,So all the world will know that it’s Mine-mine–mine!
Straight from me to the fence post, Flows my natural incense boast; “Stay off my TURF,this small piece of earth,I marked it as my winter wonder-land.”
Walkin’ In ADoggie Wonderland
Happy BirthdayC�r����� D�����
Dec, 25th
Christmas Dog Arnis’s poems
Tonight’s my first night as a watchdogand here it is Christmas Eve.
The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs,While I’m guardin’ the stockin’s and tree.
What’s that now? Footsteps on the rooftop?Could it be a cat or mouse?
Who’s this down the chimney?A thief with a beard and a big sack for robbin’ the house?
I’m barkin’, I’m growlin’, I’m bitin’ his butt.He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air!I’ve frightened the whole bunch away!
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again.The stockin’s are safe as can be.
Won’t the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrowand see how I’ve guarded the tree!!
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
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Dec 6th, 2014 - 08:00 PMRSCC's Music Department Winter Concert
Free Admission, donations will be accepted. The RSCC Music Department offers a traditional concert of Christmas favorites and winter inspired
arrangements, featuring Celebration Singers, Concert Choir, Jazz Band, faculty, and lots of guest performers!
Dec 7th, 2014 - 03:00 PMRSCC's Combined Solo Class Final Recital
Free Admission, RSCC music students from multiple campuses combine to perform a program of solo and small ensemble selections.
Dec 11th, 2014 - 07:00 PMJames Rogers Christmas Show
$15.00 G.A. For reservations call (865) 274-0508. Tickets will also be available at ticket booth. Remember James Roger’s performances at Dollywood? Well, he’s coming to the Princess Theatre. A must see! A benefit for Operation R.E.A.C.H. of Roane County.
Dec 12th, 2014 - 07:00 PMMovie Night: It's A Wonderful Life
The first movie at the Princess, since the renovation, will be shown on the evening of December 12th! "It's A Wonderful Life" will be shown for the admission cost of a single can (or bring a truckload if you like) of food. You have been waiting to again see a movie at the Princess, and this will be your first opportunity; plus you can help the area hungry. Please come out and start your Christmas Season off right.
Dec 13th, 2014 - 07:00 PMBabahatchie Band
Free Admission, donations will be accepted. This is a wonderful way to get into the Holiday Spirit! These local musicians have been performing
in this band for over 20 years, and they sound great in the wonderful acoustics of the Princess!
Dec 19th, 2014 - 07:00 PMDr. Eric Littleton
$10.00 G.A. Coming soon, more information about Dr. Eric Littleton's concert on the 19th!
Dec 20th, 2014 - 07:00 PMMovie Night: A Christmas Snow
December 20th, the Princess will show it's second movie on its new "silver screen". "A Christmas Snow" starring our own Muse Watson! Muse will also be here to celebrate with us that evening. The admission is just $5.Hope to see you there every night!
www.princessharriman.orgName Address PhoneA & C Cleaners 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-4589Anytime Fitness 1226 S Roane St, Harriman, Tennessee 37748 (865) 590-7429Attic Fanatics Marketplace 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-4484
B & M Wrecker Service 1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290
Big Emory Church 1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748Bobs Burgers 3209 Roane St. Highway Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-5300Carriage Hill Insurance (865) 285-1390Christmas Lumber Co. 101 Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-2362Clayton Homes (Athens) 2104 S. Congress Parkway (423) 745-4752Cochran's Tax and Bookkeeping 230 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-8556Coldwell Banker Glenda Johnson 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-2121 (ext.102)
(865) 591-6900 Credit Central 705 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-1324Eagle Mart 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-6265Eddies Body Shop 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-6474Ellis Surplus & Salvage 1238 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 387-3572Fraker Funeral Home 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 717-7727Grasscutters 160 Country Club Dr. Rockwood, TN, 37854 (865) 250-3656
Guinnbilt Portable Buildings Harriman Area (865) 882-5309 (865) 804-4400
Harriman Home Center 707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-3931Harriman Jewelry 509 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-4000Hester's Body Shop 210 Franklin St. Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-1949Hugh Russell Motors, LLC 1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 (865) 882-1165Huxford Automotive 211 N Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-3007Hwy 29-A Motors Inc 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-6462Jamestowne Assisted Living 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-3030Jerrys Used Furniture 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-3603Joes Mowing (865) 223-3090Johnny Appleseed 3081 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748Junior's Restaurant 214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 (865) 354-2802KARM Stores 1496 N. Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854Kims Laundry Service Harriman Area (865) 809-8993Kingston Express Lube 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 717-8288Kingston Parks & Recreation www.kingstonparks.com (865) 376-1356Kittrell's Kitchen 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-3060KTB Taxes 111 South 3rd St. Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-0122Logs to Lumber 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771 (865) 986-4264Machine Quilting Kingston Area (865) 882-9070Mary Kay - Sherry Tipton (865) 622-1213Memory Lane Antiquates 507 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 230-9944Mid-East Community Action Agency P.O. Box 790 Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-2308Midtown Florist & Gifts 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-3603Patti Savage Designs 715 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, TN 37763Princess Theatre 421 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-4633Radio 580-AM 319 West Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 (865) 250-6718Realty ExecutivesBrenda Chapman 3232 Tazewell Pike Knoxville, Tn 37918 (865) 688-3232
Renos Sporting Goods 430 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-2450Roane County Trustee P.O. Box 296 Kingston, Tn 37763Roane Reader 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-9340Roane Skating Center 1230 N. Gateway Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 (865) 354-2107
Robert James & Associates 615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-4925 (800) 530-5700
Rockwood Village Apartments 601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 (865) 354-3945Rosemary's Florist 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 (865) 376-4484S.L. Bowman & Sons 521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 (865) 354-0600Scott McCluen Attorney at Law Harriman Area (865) 388-0017
Seal Coat Specialist Harriman Area (864) 640-1654 (865) 223-3976
Senator Ken Yager 6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 (615) 741-1449Sextons Automotive Group 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-2416Shelton Financial Protection 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 (865) 376-0321Shepherd Plumbing Roane County Area (865) 354-8518Southeast Auto Sales 104 Thomas Dr. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-0110Spotted Spaniel 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 (865) 483-0961Tellico Propane 1375 Monterey Road Loudon, TN 37774 (865) 408-9050 The Original Chimney Sweep Co. (865) 203-8184Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. 420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 882-1900
U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary 1220 Bowman Bend Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 (865) 376-4822Victorian Square Assisted Living 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, Tn 37854 (865) 354-1133
Walnut Hill Outreach Program (865) 590-7192(865) 308-9283
