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IN THIS ISSUE

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DirectionsStrength in Diversity

By Ashton King

Hey, my name is Ashton. I’m a 16 year old trans boy and one of the members at Compass. I love drawing, drama class, dolphins, and much more!

I’ve gone to public school and been home-schooled, but right before coming to Compass I was unschooling. Being able to choose for myself what I learned worked for me.

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Ashton King, one of our transgender teens, is our featured teen in this issue. His mother, Shannon, shares her initial fears about how he would be perceived at Compass and how it has subsequently given him a “safe space to explore his thoughts and feelings and to start to explore the person he’s growing into.”

Volunteer Manon van Mil writes about the parallels she experienced between Compass and a concert she attended where the musician played “unconventional instruments… or usual instruments in unusual ways.” As she writes, a perfect metaphor for Compass.

Please see the back page where we list upcoming events and open houses for the remainder of the year.

Unschooling + Other Teens = One Happy Ash

By Abby Karos & André MorsonThis year we continue to quietly increase our profile in the community while our assurance in self-directed learning grows. We witness as teens we have known since the inception of our program find their own rhythm of learning – proposing physics challenges in community meetings, increasing in confidence social-ly, opening up in advisee meetings, pursuing learn-ing on their own, rather than as a result of parental wishes. Feeling their way into what they love – and doing it.

For some of our teens, being in our welcoming and safe social space is the best possible use of being at Compass. They are learning about themselves and taking the risk to be who they are in an environment that supports taking positive risks.

Ash is, at 16, not only one of our oldest members, but is also a role model for the other transgender teens at Compass, although he would not identify as such. His trademark cat ears and tail signal confidence, indifference to the opinions of others (I have seen him get looks from government bureaucrats in downtown Ottawa; he doesn’t take notice), and originality. He knows what solitude is. As much as it cost him in terms of loneliness, it also seems to have given him inner strength and a deeper sense of self. Ash can only be himself; non-authenticity is not in his nature. He is calm, introspective, and funny. And we couldn’t do without him.

Abby KarosContinued on page 2

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Unschooling + Other Teens = One Happy Ash Continued from page 1

I enjoyed it, and it was nowhere near as stressful as being told what I needed to do, learn, and know. However, being as I am a very social person and had only one friend at the time, I needed a way to connect with others. This is why Compass works for me. I get to choose my own classes and also meet others with similar interests.

The rest of the piece is in interview format, with co-director Abby Karos asking the questions:

Why does Compass work so well for you socially?

Strength in Diversity Continued from page 1

We have a younger cohort this fall. While this can make for rambunctious energy on some days, it is a delight to be in the company of such raw passion for life. This is the gift that adolescents bring to the world. At Compass, we do not try to harness this energy for adult-dictated purposes; rather, we offer the supports of structure and guidance and let it fly.

Being different is valued here. Many of our teens know the costs of placing a premium on fitting in – or at least trying to. This year we have a disproportionate number of teens who are transgender. When we introduce them to our community and an incorrect gender assumption is made, we say something like: “Actually, so-and-so prefers the pronoun ‘she’ - or ‘he’ or ‘they’ as the case may be. The response is typically a neutral: “Oh, ok” followed by adherence to the preferred pronoun. ⌂

Compass is a safe social space for LGBTQ+ teens, which is something you won’t find in many traditional schools because the people running it are accepting and are striving to have it be that as opposed to a blind, memory-building exercise. My experience of school was that you go there, memorize certain

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My son Ash is my heroBy Shannon Bradbury

My ex-husband and I had originally planned on homeschooling our older child, Ash, as he moved closer to school age, but at the last minute I chickened out, fearing that I couldn’t teach him to read. In his first experience with conventional schooling, the teacher used him to help other children learn because he was so much better behaved and advanced than they were. His own learning was compromised as a result. After that, he went to a school for gifted children where they pushed him so hard - and had us pushing him at home, so that he had no refuge from it- that he developed lasting is-sues, including a tic of which he’s worked hard to rid himself. When we moved back home to Ottawa in 2007, we decided that homeschool-ing, no matter our lack of “qualifications”, had to be better for our family.

We went through a “deschooling” phase where I worried about how to engage him and he worried that he wasn’t learning “the right things”. Slowly we both relaxed and learned what did and did not work for Ash. Maybe even more slowly, I learned to let go of my ideas on what constituted “learning,” “home-school,” “worthwhile,” and other such hot-topic words.

My mother is a teacher and had a lot of fears about Ash and his brother being home-schooled. Fear, being contagious, nibbled at the edges of my consciousness every once in a while. One day, a Child Assistive Services (CAS) worker visited our home because of a call about our youngest being outside alone. The

things, spew them out for a test and then forget them. When things are meaningful to people and they’re not being controlled, they’re generally going to be happier and less interested in bugging other people.

Do you have any fears about being an unschooler?

At first I did, but then I got over it.

What are your goals and thoughts about the future?

I’d like to work with rescue dolphins – dolphins are my favourite animals. They’re playful and intelligent and can solve problems they’re given. They catch fish in a cooperative way. I like how thoughtful they are and that they’re aware of their own existence. Since they’re self-aware, it also means they sometimes do bad things. They help fisherman by helping them catch fish. They’re so calming to watch. They name each other and other objects. Humans always think of themselves as naming things, but other animals do it too.

I am ecstatic because I will get to move out of the house when I’m an adult. I’m trying to be more responsible to prepare for it. I’m excited to be independent. I think about decorating my future apartment.

How do you compare being able to work toward your future goals at Compass versus in traditional schools?

School is restricting and I would have no time to do what I wanted. At Compass you can actually help me look for a job and work on my résumé.

What is your experience of the classes here?

The classes here are cooler than when I was unschooling because there is a teacher and other kids. I was already learning outside of school and Compass before and being here now is a continuation of my view that learning can happen anywhere and anytime. ⌂

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along the lines of: “Ok.” He’d been clearly geared up for a big defense of his position and didn’t know how to go forward from that response so he started telling me about all the things he’d been researching: statis-tics and numbers and studies about being transgen-der. That was the first crack in the cocoon, but it took another year or so before I could really say I had him back.

He began seeing a counsellor who has had a lot of experience with GLBTQ+ kids. While his counselor was worried at the slow progress, I kept telling him that it was ok; I was seeing changes and if we waited things would be ok. Ash needed time to process, to feel things out, and to be really, really sure that it was safe to keep taking the next step. It was tough, watch-ing his pain, confusion, anger, and sometimes despair. He’d always been so exuberant and such an optimist; now I was living with a stranger who was intensely pessimistic and that was tough for everyone to deal with. Eventually Ash started to come out enough that he could start to remember how much nicer it feels to be happy. Around this time a friend told me about Compass and at first I didn’t think it would work, financially, time and distance-wise, and social requirements-wise, but Ash and I talked about it and he wanted to give it a try.

I was so worried about how Ash would be perceived and treated but Abby and Andre immediately put my mind at ease. When we went in for our initial meet-ing, Ash was intensely nervous and uncertain, curl-ing up on the couch and barely speaking. I’m sure that Andre and Abby were worried that maybe this wouldn’t be such a good fit.

I was embarrassed to talk to Abby about our financial situation but Ash is definitely worth some discom-fort so I e-mailed her. I cried when she told me that Compass has a policy to never turn a child away due to financial concerns. They worked with me to figure out what I was able to give and on what kind of a schedule.

worker had lengthy talks with both kids indi-vidually, in which my husband and I were not allowed to be present. I nearly had apoplexy, worrying that they would give us a harder time because we not only homeschooled, but unschooled. When the woman from CAS was done talking to the children she came down and the only negative thing she had to say was: “Don’t let your youngest out alone until he’s older.” That was it. She marveled at how intelligent, happy, and well-adjusted Ash and his brother were. When an organization that you view in a ‘Big Brother’ sort of light tells you that you’re doing just fine by your chil-dren, a huge weight that you don’t fully realize is sitting on you seems to lift.

We carried on in this manner until a few years ago, when Ash had to go through the demise of his parents’ marriage, a personal identity crisis, having his house for sale, his father living in another country, and then having to move in with a family member he didn’t like. His life crashed down around his ears. I watched my happy, social, goofy child wrap himself up into a tight cocoon, allowing no visitors and no glimpses of what was going on inside. I didn’t see him again for a year and a half, metaphori-cally speaking.

During that time he realized that he was transgender, telling me one day in the car. He started out by telling me he wanted to change his name. When that didn’t elicit a cataclysmic response, he told me that he thought he was a boy. I believe my response was something

He started out by telling me he wanted to change his name. When that didn’t elicit a cataclysmic response, he told me that he thought he was a boy.

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By Manon van Mil

I started teaching Cognitive Science at Compass in January 2014 and now teach three classes and facilitate a Roots & Shoots project. I discovered this opportunity via co-founder and co-director André Morson, who I met on our shared porch. I chose to volunteer because I agree with Compass’ guiding principles and also because I would have benefited from membership at Compass as a teen – so naturally I want to make it a more accessible option for others.

If you found my high school transcripts, you might have believed that I was thriving in school: I had a high GPA and most of my teachers’ feedback was positive. Yet I felt overwhelmed and was developing bad habits. By 15, I was regularly pulling all-nighters. More importantly, I wasn’t developing good habits such as time management. I clearly wanted to learn – I skipped classes to read and write in the library! I just didn’t feel like school was teaching me how.

Now I spend summers heading the outdoor pursuits, out trips, and overnights program at a summer camp and outdoor education centre. Compass’ guiding principles read like a list of lessons that I learned at Camp Muskoka. Most are directly supported by research I have encountered studying Cognitive Science and Psychology in my undergraduate degree. For example, one of the first observations I made at Camp Muskoka was that “young people want to learn.” Human beings are altricious; that is, it takes us a long time and many mistakes to learn what we need to. People are born wanting and willing to learn. We need positive institutions to help people retain or reclaim a growth mindset!

Volunteer Profile

Unconventional musicAnother was that “learning happens everywhere.” It happens in classrooms. If you capture teens’ attention, it might even be about what you had intended. Otherwise, it happens while we are adventuring, discovering, reading, drawing, arguing, programming, playing, performing, asking questions, being asked questions, seeing animals close up, etc.

One of the most enjoyable parts of volunteering at Compass is seeing the diversity of learners come together in the classroom – or on the beanbag chairs in the office. Every class that we make together – contributing our own ideas, experiences, knowledge, and personalities – is greater than any class I could have created alone.

I recently attended a performance of Jesse Stewart, an award-winning percussionist, composer, and improviser – an opportunity I might not have taken advantage of prior to volunteering at Compass. Jesse played unconventional instruments during his concert, or he played usual instruments in unusual ways. He dropped hundreds of keys, drummed using skewers, and played a disassembled music stand like a flute. Yet he played an incredible show. Compass might be an unconventional education for teens, but it can help teens help themselves to create a meaningful, incredible life.

Jesse invited the audience to contribute using the Adaptive Usable Instrument (AUI) software application. The audience is always part of the show, but we experienced it in a new way, playing notes on the Indonesian scale pelog via movement detection. We created exciting, unexpected, exceptional music together which was, in my opinion, the perfect metaphor for what Compass represents. ⌂

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COMPASS NEWS

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Montreal PresentationCompass Co-Directors and teens will be presenting at a conference at UQAM (Université du Quebec à Montréal) on January 17th, 2015, hosted by RÉDAQ (Réseau des écoles démocratiques au Québec) and l’ADEESE (l’Association des étudiantes et étudiants de la Faculté des sciences de l’Éducation). The conference will explore alternatives in education and is intended to further RÉDAQ’s mission to educate the public on the benefits of democratic schools and other educational alternatives. Go to http://redaq.ca/objectifs/ événement for more information.

Open House Dates 2015January 29 February 26 March 26 April 30 May 28

Parents are welcome from 12-1; teens can RSVP to join us for the day.

Compass Centre for Self-Directed Learning Bronson Centre 211 Bronson Ave #210 Ottawa, ON K1R 6H5 (613) 916-6303

My Son Ash is My Hero Continued from page 4

Every day that Ash went to Compass he came home exhausted and bubbling over with ex-citement. Sometimes the exhaustion won and he passed out in the car; other days he was a babbling brook. Over the past ten months that he’s been involved with Compass, he has changed so drastically. He has gained so much self-confidence and happiness – so much op-timism! He was clearly always a strong person to have come through everything whole and happy, but I cannot possibly express how much it means to me that he’s had Compass there to provide what I could not: to give him a safe space to explore his thoughts and feelings and to start to explore the person he’s grow-ing into. I have watched my son go through the stages of grief: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and Technicolor. Most people think the final stage is acceptance, but they clearly haven’t met my oldest son. ⌂ Illustration: Ashton King