Diversity November 2014

Issue no 3 november 2014

Free copy

Free to be Yourself

www.facebook.com/diversitydurban

Contact Details:editor: Larin Labuschagne - [email protected]: Theresa bosch - [email protected]

Enquiries and Advertising Sales:Larin Labuschagne - 072 186 8112Theresa bosch - 073 583 0518

Graphic Design: sapphire Designs - 084 700 2536Cover page: Vernondo Boshoff Photography model: Lyndi-Lee smith

Disclaimer

Whilst every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the contents of Diversity magazine, neither the editor, the publisher nor the printer can be held responsible for any omissions or errors or for any misfortune, injury or damages which may arise there from. We do not guarantee the quality of service of any of the advertisers in this magazine. Reproduction of Diversity magazine in whole or any part is prohibited without prior written permission from the editor. The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of Diversity magazine or the editor.

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email: [email protected]

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contentsfooD/enTerTaInmenT 4Gay LIfe In oz 6quesTIons To ConsIDer before marrIaGe 8-9

ranGers for rhInos 10-11HAVing SAVingS PuTS you in cHARgE 12-13book revIew: “here I am” 14a TIme To be TreasureD forever 15evenTs 15

I was watching young children at play the other day as they laughingly skipped through puddles that had formed after the first, much anticipated seasonal downpour. It got me thinking that here were a group of boys and girls of various ages, race groups and of different social standing who were living in the moment, interacting with one another and having a great deal of fun without any prejudice or hidden agendas. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we as adults could embrace our Diversity and see the world through the eyes of children? The next time you are tempted to judge someone, stop for a moment and consider whether your views have anything to substantiate them or are they just a result of social conditioning?

There is something for everyone in this month’s issue, ranging from articles of interest to those offering thought provoking and sound advice. Our article “Rangers for Rhinos” and accompanying calendar giveaway lends an element of fun to our November edition as well as support for a very worthy cause.

november is Diabetes Awareness month. By making people aware of the signs and symptoms to look out for, early detection and treatment of diabetes is possible, thereby decreasing the risk of developing diabetes related complications.

We want to introduce a “social scene” page in our magazine, so please e-mail us photo’s of yourself and friends “ out and about” having fun to [email protected]

Till next month, take care and God bless.


Melon, Berry and Feta Salad2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice1 small shallot, thinly sliced1/2 teaspoon lemon zest1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper saltFreshly ground pepper1/2 green melon — cut into wedges, peeled and thinly sliced1/2 orange or yellow melon — cut into wedges, peeled and thinly sliced

1 cup blackberries55 grams feta cheese, cut into thin slices2 tablespoons snipped chives

1. In a small bowl, combine the olive oil, lemon juice, shallot, lemon zest and crushed red pepper and season with salt and pepper.

2. Arrange the melon slices and blackberries on a platter. Drizzle the dressing over the fruit.

Garnish the salad with the feta and snipped chives and serve.

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Gay life in OzBy: Tracy Fry

Good day mate! Yip the typical way an ozzy greets another. I

am a 46yr old south African living in Brisbane, Australia. I lived in the Middle east for 12 years and being gay there was really risky. If you were “found out” you would be sent to jail for a year and then deported home, so being gay there meant you had to be very discreet.

I moved to Australia in 2011, and coming from Dubai back to civilization was truly a culture shock for me. I now no longer had to keep my sexuality a secret and if I wanted to hold my partners hand in public I could and she was no longer my friend but my partner.

We came across to oz on a de facto visa, as we were not married or related and this is the visa oz allows one to bring their partner into the country on, and trust me it was not easy. We needed solemn statements from my family and Jenzel’s family,

as well as photos, receipts and a breakdown of what we had bought each other during the duration of our relationship. This included birthdays, Christmases, anniversaries and anything else we had bought each other. It was a pain but in the end Jenzel was able to come into Australia with me and she was allowed to work.

I don’t think Australia is any different to other countries with regard to the struggles gay people have in general society. We can’t legally get married here, but you can have IVF and bring up a child together. You can claim your taxes together as well, so basically you can live like a married couple although same sex marriage is not legally recognized.

People in Australia are very open to gays, you do however still get those people that think being gay is a sin and we need help because we have mental issues etc, etc but in the eyes of GOD we are all equal.

Australia or should I say Brisbane is much like Durban with the sports culture, barbeques and clubbing. Yip we still have our separate gay clubs, but we go to straight clubs as well, where sadly there will always be the occasional straight man who says he can change you.

I am happy to call Australia home, as it is in a way home from home and having family here truly helps with the immigration process.

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Questionsto consider before

marriageby Dr Lorraine Becker

MB BCh (Rand) DCH (SA) Dip Ped (SA) FECSM

communication is the foundation of all relationships. It is all very

well to be in love and committed to one another but remember that you have to share certain expectations and values to have a great marriage. If you sort out some of the basics and set some ground rules before committing to marriage, it often makes life a lot easier later on when conflicts arise.

the best way to start is to make a list of things to discuss, perhaps use this article as the basis and add your personal issues. It often helps to get some perspective by considering how you would respond if your partner presented you with these topics! the major areas that you need to focus on are money, work, children, family, friends and managing conflict.

Money - is the biggest source of conflict within a marriage. You need to ask how the combined money is going to be dealt with. Who pays for what? What are your financial goals now and in 5 years time? What percentage of your money

will you commit to a home? Will the home be in both your names? What percentage will be saved? Who decides on the big purchases? Who manages the household finances? Do you keep an amount separate for your own investments and pleasure? Often the best way to sort this out is to devise a budget together and work out if this is suitable for both of you. Decide too, on how much you want to spend on the wedding and come to a compromise as to who pays for what!

Work - Are we both going to work full time? Under what circumstances will it be alright for one of us not to work? Are we both ambitious? What about overtime/weekend work?

Children - How important are children to both of us? When are we going to have children, how many

Dr L. Becker (General Practitioner & Sexual Medicine Physician)


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Theresa BoschTheresa Bosch Holistic Massage Therapist Relieves muscle tension & headaches Increases range of motion in joints Increases blood circulation Strengthens the Immune system Assists Lymph drainage Assists in recovery from injuries

Contact: 073 583 0518/ [email protected]

with friends and not enough alone?Will there be jealousy about previous partners? Are we still going to be friends with previous partners?

Managing Conflict - How do you deal with conflict; avoidance, sulking, screaming matches? Ask about your partner’s approach? Does he/she have a bad temper? What triggers it? Resolve to never let the sun set on your conflict - that means dealing with it when it arises. Don’t be ashamed of your anger, express honestly what you feel. Resolve to make conflict your ally and use it to better understand each other.

When I posed these questions to friends of mine, they responded with “You are delusional before you get married. Had we asked each other these questions, we would have avoided most arguments in the first year of our marriage.”

children do we want? Who is going to be responsible for taking care of the children-will we share the duties?

Family - How much time will we spend with each other’s family? Will we share special occasions with both families equally? If one of our families lives far away, how often will we invite them to stay and for how long? can we both “cut the apron strings” – Often we have depended on our parents for advice, money and love… are we committed to change this and become dependent on each other for these things? When we have children, how will the grandparents be involved?

Friends - Are we going to allow each other our individual friendships as well as having friends as a couple? What is the acceptable amount of time that should be devoted to individual friendships? Do we want more social involvement, or do we feel that we spend too much time


RANGERS for

RHINOSTaking its cue from other ‘naked

for a cause’ concept calendars such as those pioneering ‘calendar girl’ ladies in yorkshire, and since emulated by nearly every uk varsity rugby or rowing team, ex-supermodel turned photographer, Josie Borain and South African company natural Causes have produced a version of a naked calendar that stems from the rhino-poaching crisis in Africa and the heavily underfunded efforts to combat it. over 787 rhino have been slaughtered in South Africa this year.

Rangers for Rhinos calendar 2015 recruited all its nearly nude models from the game ranger fraternity in South Africa and Botswana, who volunteered to bare it all to raise funds, and awareness, for programs to save the Rhino. the style of the calendar suggests the ruggedness of the men who undertake this work, and their devotion to the animals they protect.

Borain, who went behind the lens and is now a professional photographer wants the calendar to become an annual tradition.

Her philanthropic work up till now focused on helping disadvantaged children in the townships. When asked by a fundraising group to turn her hand to photographing naked game rangers for the calendar, Borain did not hesitate:

“I used to see some of the [social media] posts about rhinos in pain after having their horns hacked off – terrible photographs. Over time, I realised that I cared. However by just liking or commenting on something on Facebook, it wasn’t really achieving anything.” she loved the idea of championing a species “underdog”:

“Rhinos aren’t a cute, cuddly little dog or kitten that’s been abused. It’s in people’s nature to help something so sweet. While the rhino is a majestic, beautiful creature, he’s not that cute, cuddly little thing. So they’re often at a disadvantage.”

Proceeds from the calendar will go to two NGO’s – the Game Rangers Association of Africa and Resource

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Diabetes Awareness MonthDiabetes Awareness Month

• Excessive thirst • Blurred vision • Itching and skin infections • Recurrent bladder infections • Excessive urination • Constant hunger • Tiredness

Are you at increased risk for diabetes?

Keep an eye out for these signs and symptoms of diabetes:

Early detection is important. Visit your doctor or clinic to get tested as soon as you become aware of the first warning signs.

Africa, which are both involved in anti-rhino poaching projects.

TO ORDER YOUR 2015 RANGERS FOR RHInos cALenDAR

Visit the Rangers for Rhinos Facebook page or order directly from the Natural Causes FB shop

www.shop.naturalcauses.co.za

the calendar retails at R150.

10 Rangers for Rhinos10 Rangers for Rhinos10 Rangers for Rhinos Calendars up for Calendars up for Calendars up for

Grabs! Grabs! Grabs!

WIN a

Calendar!

To win a calendar “like” To win a calendar “like” our Diversity Magazine facebook page our Diversity Magazine facebook page and email us at [email protected] and email us at [email protected] with your name and Rangers for Rhinos with your name and Rangers for Rhinos

in the subject line.in the subject line.

Contact: arthur Cowan: 082 328 3800email: [email protected] website: www.tongaatplants.com


It is also important to decide what you want to save towards. categorise your savings goals into long, medium and short-term goals. Money intended for retirement is typically a long-term goal, while a child’s education could be a medium term goal. Getting together an emergency fund for unexpected expenses could be one of your shorter term savings goals.

How much you should be saving will differ from person to person and the goals you set for yourself. Be realistic – know that it will take time! The process of accumulating enough money to reach your financial goals does not happen overnight – it is a journey. A journey starts with taking the first step.The best place to start is with a detailed monthly budget drawn up to set out income and expenses. once you know what you are spending your money on, you might be surprised to find that there are some adjustments that you can make to start saving towards your goals.

the next step is to start by paying yourself first and commit to what it is you want to achieve over time. Plan ahead by budgeting to save, before the bills arrive and the ‘specials’ are advertised. Involving your whole family in the process can help instil healthy financial habits in your children by teaching them the basic

by Riaan odendaal

We all need to adopt a savings culture. It all revolves around

budgeting, saving and financial planning over a longer period of time. Take the opportunity to educate yourself and those around you about this important topic, and also ensure that you make your children part of the learning process. consider a few good reasons to start saving.

1. When you have money, you can call the shots! When you owe money, someone else does!

2. Financial ‘shocks’ are easier to deal with if you have emergency savings stacked away.

3. An early start to a savings plan will provide peace of mind that your child will receive a good education, you may enjoy a nice holiday or that you will be able to enjoy a sustainable retirement one day.

Having savings puts you

in charge

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13principles of budgeting, saving and financial planning.

Make it fun by setting even shorter term goals to treat yourself and those close to you at regular intervals while sticking to your longer term plans.

Contact your financial adviser for further guidance and advice.

Riaan Odendaal B.Iuris; Momentum Financial Planner

tel: +27 (0)31 903 5364 cell +27 (0)82 923 8480 [email protected]

Here I am.Author: PJ PowersReviewed by: Nadine Foord

PJ Powers is one of Durban’s most famous exports. Her book “Here

I Am” is a candid memoir of her life, from a privileged childhood in colonial Kwa-Zulu natal when she knew instinctively she was destined to perform, to the national cultural treasure she has become. Most of us are familiar with PJ’s moving performance of “the World In Union” at the Rugby World Cup, Ellis Park final in 1995.

However her success as a musician began earlier, in the politically violent 1980’s, as the iconic lead singer for the popular group Hotline. From

this month’s

Book Review

a racy start in the safe comfort of Durban’s Club Med, PJ’s singing success propelled her to performing to revolutionary crowds at the Jabulani stadium in soweto. on that pivotal occasion in May 1982, she became the darling of the disenfranchised, who nicknamed her “thandeka”.

Inevitably she soon became an Anc activist, and eventually, a close friend of Nelson Mandela, corresponding with him during his latter years in prison, and singing for him at his birthday gatherings. Her “coming out” and relationships are described as a natural facet of her journey.

Despite her remarkable success as a solo music artist, PJ struggled with alcoholism. Her sensitive and authentic account of her dark night of the soul highlights the pressures many performers are exposed to in the entertainment industry and reveals that despite her iconic status, PJ Powers shares a common humanity with us all. “Here I Am” is accessible, unpretentious and very south African. A must-read!


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15first in line” kind of company, and to me, they represent everything that I believe the LGBTI community embodies. I have never felt so welcome and appreciated by any other company I have ever worked for. I have no need to explain who I am, or justify anything to anybody about why I made certain choices in my life. They treat their staff as if they really make a difference and in response to this amazing positivity, the staff then make the difference.

It is a pleasure to be here and if the products we sell are anything as amazing as what their work ethic is, then they can only be the best there is out there – as einstein once said… If you do what you love, you will never WoRK a day in your life! Bless you Triarc, and bless the LGBTI community. Awesomeness personified!

A TIME TO BE

Treasured ForeverBy Debbie

As a lesbian of mature years with no-one special in my life, and at a time when it seemed that no doors would ever open again in terms of meaningful employment, I happened upon a miracle… I walked through the doors of triarc in century city.

What started as a temporary position doing some Data Capturing at Triarc, has turned into a journey that will be, without doubt, the reward I get for all the years of pain I have gone through. To put it in simple terms, I will eventually be able to say… “Oh, I get it… so this is why I remained positive, kept smiling and holding on to the notion that I would be richly rewarded”.triarc is a “one of a kind” and “the

Events Diary02 Nov - Blarney Bros, The Rhumbelow Theatre, 082 499 863606 Nov - Ard Matthews, Umdloti Bush Tavern, Carol 031 568 126607 – 09 Nov - Pascal Sings Brel, The Rhumbelow Theatre, 082 499 863608 Nov - Jesse Clegg, The Winston Pub, 031 201 265209 Nov - Johnny Clegg & Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Botanic Gardens, 031 309 117016 Nov - Laurie Levine & Josie Field, Music in the Meadow (Hillcrest) 031 717 262021 Nov - John Legend, Moses Mabhida Stadium, 031 582 8222

MarketsEssenwood Market, Sat from 9am-2pm, Essenwood Rd, Essenwood, 031 208 1264 I Heart Market, 1st Sat of every month, Moses Mabhida Stadium, 078 989 4432Heritage Market, 9 Old Main Road, Hillcrest, 031 765 2500The Food Market, 6 High Grove, Umgeni Park, 084 505 0113The Stables Lifestyle Market, (Wed & Fri 6pm-10pm and Sun 10am-5pm), Jacko Jackson Drive, Stamford Hill, 031 312 3058 or 084 353 5866Shongweni Farmers Market, Cnr Alverstone & Cassier Rd, Shongweni, 031 777 1554


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Diversity November 2014

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