Do we have a bully Do we have a bully problem? problem? Not all problems Not all problems between or among between or among students is bullying. students is bullying. Normal peer conflict - Normal peer conflict - name-calling, name-calling, teasing, fussing, teasing, fussing, arguing, pushing, arguing, pushing, hitting and fighting hitting and fighting can be part of getting can be part of getting along at all ages; along at all ages; they do not they do not always always mean bullying is mean bullying is happening. happening. Getting along problems Getting along problems will happen as we will happen as we learn how to be learn how to be friends. friends. True bullying can be a big problem and we all must work together to solve it!
Transcript
Do we have a bully problem?Do we have a bully problem?
Not all problems Not all problems between or among between or among students is bullying.students is bullying.Normal peer conflict - Normal peer conflict - name-calling, teasing, name-calling, teasing, fussing, arguing, pushing, fussing, arguing, pushing, hitting and fighting can be hitting and fighting can be part of getting along at all part of getting along at all ages; they do not ages; they do not alwaysalways mean bullying is mean bullying is happening.happening.Getting along problems Getting along problems will happen as we learn will happen as we learn how to be friends. how to be friends.
True bullying can be a big problem and we all must work
together to solve it!
So, what is bullying?So, what is bullying?
The hurt is The hurt is on purposeon purpose; ; it’s not by accident.it’s not by accident.
You You fearfear that student. that student.
That student seems to have That student seems to have powerpower over you; over you; ““I I can’t stand up for myself when he/she is bothering me.”can’t stand up for myself when he/she is bothering me.”
That student seems to enjoy hurting others.That student seems to enjoy hurting others.
That student That student repeatsrepeats the behavior(s) the behavior(s) over and overover and over..
You are You are hurthurt (body and/or feelings) and you (body and/or feelings) and you believe that the student is targeting you. believe that the student is targeting you.
Notice the key words that show a bully problem –Notice the key words that show a bully problem – PurposePurpose; ; FearFear; ; PowerPower; ; HurtHurt; ; RepeatsRepeats..
Is this a bully problem, or a getting Is this a bully problem, or a getting along problem?along problem?
Am I Am I afraidafraid of this student? of this student? Does it feel like this student has Does it feel like this student has powerpower over me; that I over me; that I cannot stand up for myself when he/she is bothering me.cannot stand up for myself when he/she is bothering me.Is this more than a fuss/argument with a friend?Is this more than a fuss/argument with a friend?Do I believe this student is a serious Do I believe this student is a serious threatthreat to my safety? to my safety?Has this student Has this student continuedcontinued to do the same hurtful things to do the same hurtful things even after I have tried several things to get him/her to stop.even after I have tried several things to get him/her to stop.Would I ask to stay home to avoid this student? Would I ask to stay home to avoid this student?
If your answers are YES to these questions, then you probably If your answers are YES to these questions, then you probably have a bully problem and may need adult help to solve it. have a bully problem and may need adult help to solve it. If you answered NO to three or more of these questions, this is If you answered NO to three or more of these questions, this is probably not a bully problem butprobably not a bully problem but a getting along problem. a getting along problem.
What’s the Difference?What’s the Difference?
Getting Along Problem Getting Along Problem Bullying ProblemBullying ProblemEqual power – you are friendsEqual power – you are friends Imbalance of Imbalance of powerpower – not friends – not friends
Happens occasionallyHappens occasionally Happens Happens repeatedlyrepeatedly ((over and overover and over))
AccidentalAccidental On On purposepurpose
No serious threatNo serious threat Serious Serious threatthreat of harm to body or of harm to body or feelingsfeelings
Equal emotional reaction – students Equal emotional reaction – students involved feel equally upsetinvolved feel equally upset
Strong emotions from the victim, but Strong emotions from the victim, but little or no emotion from the bullylittle or no emotion from the bully
Remorse (to be sorry) – will take Remorse (to be sorry) – will take responsibilityresponsibility
No remorse (does not feel sorry) – No remorse (does not feel sorry) – blames victimblames victim
Effort to solve the problemEffort to solve the problem No effort to solve the problemNo effort to solve the problem
Can you give an example of a getting along problem?
Can you give an example of a bullying problem?
Resources:Resources:Bullying and Harassment: Fundamentals of Detection, Identification and Bullying and Harassment: Fundamentals of Detection, Identification and
Intervention;Intervention; Mary Jo McGrath; McGrath Training Systems, 2007 Mary Jo McGrath; McGrath Training Systems, 2007
How to be Bully Free Workbook;How to be Bully Free Workbook; Free Spirit Publishing, 2006 Free Spirit Publishing, 2006
Bully-Proofing Your School;Bully-Proofing Your School; (2 (2ndnd ed.); Sopris West, 2000 ed.); Sopris West, 2000
The ABC’s of Bullying Prevention: A Comprehensive Schoolwide ApproachThe ABC’s of Bullying Prevention: A Comprehensive Schoolwide Approach; ; Dude Publishing, 2005Dude Publishing, 2005
Books: Books: In the Library:In the Library:
Lucy and the BullyLucy and the Bully;; Claire Alexander. E ALEClaire Alexander. E ALE
