CLEVELAND COUNTY ABUSE

PREVENTION COUNCIL, INC.Domestic Violence

101

OUR MISSION

APC is committed to providing safe shelter,

advocacy, and supportive services for

victims of domestic violence, rape, sexual

assault, and the homeless, thus

empowering them to make the transition

from victim to survivor; and to provide

preventative education programs about

domestic violence, rape, sexual assault

and homelessness for our community.

APC SERVICES Emergency Services

24-hour crisis line Lighthouse shelter Case management Emergency Shelter Response Program

Counseling Support Group Individual Counseling Family Consultations

Community Education Training and

Presentations Safe Dates

Courthouse Court Advocacy Emotional Support Legal Assistance

Specialized New Choices Supportive Housing Bilingual Program

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: WHAT IS IT?

Domestic violence is a legal term used to describe the parameters of family and dating violence for the purpose of law

enforcement. North Carolina Law (paraphrased) defines Domestic Violence in the following way:

The commission of one or both of the following acts upon an individual by a

person who has had a *personal relationship with that individual (but does

not include acts of self-defense): Attempting to, or actually causing, bodily injury; or

Placing an individual in fear of imminent serious bodily injury

Conducts continued harassment, that rises to such a level as to inflict substantial emotional distress

A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP MEANS….

A relationship wherein the parties involved:

1. Are current or former spouses2. Are persons of opposite sex who

reside together or have resided together

3. Are related as parents and children, including others acting in loco parentis to a minor child or as grandparents and grandchildren

4. Have a child in common5. Are current or former household

members6. Are persons of the opposite sex who

are in a dating relationship or have been in a dating relationship

POWER AND CONTROLAbuse is a series of actions (verbal,

physical, emotional, financial, sexual, etc.) perpetrated to gain power and control over another person in a relationship. It is very important to understand that abuse is not

merely a collection of unrelated assaults that occur repeatedly over time. The implication of the above definition is that abuse is a related series of actions either…. •Verbal

•Physical•Emotional

…that are enacted with one intent… to gain power and control; and end in one result…..

……HARM to the well-being of those exposed to it.

CYCLE OF ABUSE

1. Tension Building

2. Acute Battering (Explosion)

3. Manipulation through Kindness (Honeymoon)

Tension Building: The abuser begins to increase tension in the relationship through increased arguing. This may include the silent treatment, moodiness or violent mood swings, minor/major threats, and/or put downs. This may last a couple of days or for months.

Acute Battering: Abuser chooses to explode in violence. Can manifest in verbal and/or physical violence. Ends when abuser regains control, victim leaves, police are called, and/or medical attention is sought.

Abuse through Kindness: Often calm and “loving”. The abuser may appear very apologetic, may beg for forgiveness, promise “to never do it again”, may buy gifts as a peace offering. During this phase the abuser will manipulate the victim through kindness. This could last from hours to months or until the tension begins to build again.

CYCLE OF ABUSE

FACTS & STATS 1985- The U.S. Surgeon General declared family

violence a “national epidemic.” 1995- Platform of the 4th United Nations World

Conference on Women states that family violence is an epidemic in societies around the world.

The majorities of adult victims of family violence are women. The majority of adult victimizers are men.

Repeated abuse can cause psychological distress and result in PTSD, depression, increased anxiety, dissociative disorders, substance abuse, and suicidal feelings.

Several types of abuse within the family are often connected. For example, men who batter their partners are more likely to be abusing their children as well.

Secondary victimization (exposure to, but not directly the victim of, family violence) can cause psychological symptoms similar to those experienced by the victim of abuse.

FACTS & STATS

Nearly 1 in 4 adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood

At least 4 million DV incidents against women are reported every year20% are aggravated assaults in the home

57% of children under 12 who are murdered are killed by a parent

Each year about 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers

WHY DOES SHE STAY?

Why doesn’t she

leave?

What we SHOULD be asking is:

WHY DOESN’T HE LEAVE

Why does he

batter?How is he getting away with this?

REASONS FOR STAYING THREATS – Abuser may threaten to harm her, her

family/children or her friends if she leaves HOPE – That the relationship will improve and the abuse

will stop BELIEFS - That staying in the home is best for the

children, all relationships are abusive in some way, can’t survive without spouse or boyfriend

MONEY – Financial dependence on spouse or boyfriend,

he often prevents her from holding a job of her own

REASONS FOR STAYING (CONTINUED)

RESOURCES – No place to go, no money of her own, no job, no friends or support system

EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY – He can often be very

affectionate in addition to being violent, she still loves him, may feel that no one else will want her

RELIGION – It’s in “God’s hands”, staying together in

“good times and in bad”, leaving a spouse is not acceptable for any reason

SELF – Poor self-concept and loss of self-respect;

helpless to change what seems like a hopeless situation

WHY DOESN’T SHE JUST LEAVE?

Approximately 50% of all current homeless women and children in the United States are fleeing domestic violence situations (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1994 – 1996)

For every 1 woman accepted into a battered women’s shelter,

2 women and her children are turned away due to lack of space. In some urban areas, 5-7 are turned away for every 2 served (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1994 – 1996)

In 1994 there were about 3,400 animal protection shelters in

the United States. In comparison, there were only 1,200 shelters for battered women and their children. (Sara Buel,1994)

Women who leave their batterers are at a 75% greater risk of

being killed by their batterers than those who stay; leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1994 – 1996)

WHY SOME MEN BATTERThere is no one answer that is true for all perpetrators; each has his own individual reasons for perpetrating violence in his home. Yet when asked, the most frequent reason given for violence in the home is also the most pragmatic…

It works!

A quick solution to a situation that has gotten out of

control A way to put an end to an uncomfortable or unwanted

emotional exchange A means of releasing stored up frustrations A learned pattern from childhood/teen role models