and changes everything . . . .

DRI Sharing Success Seminar for Women Lawyers February 23, 2012

What’s so great about me?

• Stride in• Introduce yourself (hand shake) to

anyone you don’t know• Make eye contact• Choose the best available seat• Brief small talk • Restate the question• Say what you did to answer it• Answer the question

– We have an excellent chance of prevailing if . . .

– We have the following problems– The client should understand that . . . – We need to learn more about this . . .

What are Our Negotiation Strengths and Weaknesses?

Female Bargaining Advantages• take a broad or 'collective' perspective

• view elements in a task as interconnected and interdependent

• see the big picture and come up with a systematic plan on how to solve it.

• work through steps by sharing experiences while figuring out what both sides can gain to achieve an integrated outcome.

• more concerned about how problems are solved than merely solving the problem itself

• Instead of concentrating on what they want or need to get out of the negotiation women focus on what both sides need and how both parties can get what they want

Male Bargaining Advantages

Feel bargaining advantageFeel entitled to more rewardsLess likely to back downUse more distributive tacticsFeel entitled to informationSeen as stronger speakers than

women Seek more powerIntimidate

We measure our income by what we need

We compare ourselves to our women friends

often leading us to value ourselves less than male peers

and anchoring women’s compensation, power and income too low

We work 22% longer and 10%

faster for the same reward

We over-deliver to others and under-deliver to

ourselves

They’ll notice what I’m doing and reward me

If they don’t reward me, I don’t deserve it

I’ll offend someone and be punished

It’s selfish to ask for myself

I’d rather be happy than rich

Don’t worry about me, I’ll just sit here in the dark . . .

• People err in one direction or the other by:– Prioritizing the relationship

& saying “yes” when you want/need to say “no” or

– Prioritizing their own power by brusquely saying “no” or

– Take middle ground of avoidance saying nothing & hoping a problem won’t arise

What would you do with

Greater influenceMore authorityMore powerMore free timeLess stressGreater satisfactionMore money

Conflict

Negotiation

Responses to Conflict

• Suppression• Avoidance• Resolution• Transformation• Transcendence

Dispute Resolution Tactics

• Yielding/Ingratiation• Shaming• Persuasive

argumentation• Promises of future action• Threats of future action• Physical force

The Big Book of “How To”

Crossing Gender Boundaries

AskAnchorClose

Negotiation is a conversation leading to agreement

recognize the opportunity to negotiate