EAT ENGLISH, COOKING ENGLISH · 2021. 7. 17. · They don't come when called. You do know that,...

Transcription:Death in Paradise

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Dwayne Oh, man.

Fidel I'm sorry sir, time's up. If she was your goat, she would have gone to you. This goat remains unclaimed.

DI Hulme Fidel.

Fidel Yes, sir.

DI Hulm Goats aren't obedient. They don't come when called.You do know that, don't you?

Dwayne Got him chief.

DI Hulme Ah, Dwayne, well done!

Marlon Oh, you can't put me in here!

Dwayne Why? You want to go in there? Maybe you should stopstealing yachts.

DI Hulme Lily, I'm going to knock off early, if that's OK.

Lily Sure thing, sir. Have a nice evening.

Dwayne Night, Chief.

Fidel Honore Police Station. OK, and what time was this?OK. We'll send someone over right away.

Lily Hello?

Fidel Erm, Dwayne? You know Lord Salcombe's place?

Dwayne Mmm-hm.

Fidel Well, his panic room’s gone into lock down. Apparently, we've got the codes to open it in our safe. Well, shall I go and… Dwayne? Dwayne!

EAT ENGLISH, COOKING ENGLISH


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Lily Oh, for heaven's sake. I'll do it!

Dwayne Uh?

Camille We've got a problem.

Lawrence We were having a party. Then from nowhere, the alarm started blaring.Someone is locked in the panic room.

Lily Where are Lord and Lady Salcombe?

Lawrence No-one's seen them since the alarm went off.I think you should know. Just before the alarm, there was a gunshot. Everybody heard it.

Lily Everybody out, and don't touch anything.

Lawrence Sortez la! Allez!

Sarah What's going on? What's going on?

Lawrence There was a gunshot, and the panic room has been locked down.

Sarah Who's in there?

Lily No.

Sarah Is it James?

Lily No!

Sarah Is my husband in there?

James What on earth would I be doing in there?

Lily Lawrence, call an ambulance. Now! Allez la!

Lawrence Pas de probleme.

Lily It's Charlie Hulme.



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Richard I've just been informed the airline have lost my luggage.

Lily I'm sorry to hear that, Sir.

Richard If you could just point me in the direction of the lost luggage desk? Ah, thank you.

Lily We don't need outside help.

Selwyn Charlie Hulme was a British cop. They want a British cop to lead the case.

Richard What time do you open in the morning?

receptioninst 0600 hours, Sir.

Richard Then I'll call you at 0601. Thank you very much, Daphne. Oh, Christ.

Selwyn Saint-Marie was colonized by the French, who lost it to the British, who lost it to the Dutch. The Dutch lost it back to the French. The French then handed it back to the British in the mid-70s. So about 30% of the population is still French.

Richard French, great. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse.

Selwyn Welcome to Honore Station.

Dwayne I’ve got to go. The Commissioner’s here.

Fidel Sir.

Selwyn So, team, Dwayne, Fidel, This is Detective Inspector Richard Poole from the MET in London.

Richard Thank you. I’ll take care of it from here. Right then, I want everything you’ve got on DI Hulme’s death on my desk immediately. And if you get on to ITs to sort out the log-in details for my PC. It’s



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imperative I get on the network asap.

Dwayne Pen-pusher. This is not going to go well.

Richard Sorry my monitor won't turn on.

Richard Ah, this heat!

Lily Then take your jacket off.

Richard DI Hulme's been dead 48 hours. Is this all you've got? Where's the Forensics Report, Ballistics? DNA?

Lily We'll have them soon.

Richard Who's this?

Lily Everybody in that photograph was on the guest list for the party apart from that woman.And neither Lord or Lady Salcombe or any of their guests knew who she was or what she was doing there.

Richard Statements?

Lily In the file.

Richard Is it always this hot?

Lily No, sometimes it's a lot hotter.

Richard Look, I'll be honest with you. This, whole Caribbean thing, I mean, I’m sure it's very nice, but erm… Well, it's not really my idea of, er… So, as soon as I've solved this case and I've got my luggage, I'm on the next plane home. I can't think why they sent me. Sorry, where is here?

Lily I thought you might like to see where you’re staying before we go up to the house. This is where we put the foreign officers like you and Charlie Hulme.

Richard This is Charlie's old house?



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Lily You can freshen up, and I'll pick you up in an hour.

Richard Christ!

I think they’re very pleased to have me here, if I’m honest. Er, The welcome’s been very, er… Yeah, you know, and the accommodation’s very… Ah! Ooh! A bloody splinter! Oh, God! Yeah, no, no, it's fine, it's fine. No. Yeah, it does, it does a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Mm, thank you for sending me, sir.Yeah, OK, yeah, er, sorry, gotta go. Yeah, bye.

Richard So how did a British policeman get mixed up with an aristocrat?

Lily I don't know.

Richard Then, what was he like?

Lily Who, Charlie? Fun. Not your typical Englishman.Charismatic, you know?

Richard What do you mean by a typical Englishman?

Detective Inspector Richard Poole, Metropolitan Police.

Lawrence Oh, yes, come in.

Richard Thank you.

Lawrence Well, I was out here serving drinks to the guests.It had just gone eight o’clock. Then, there was a gunshot from the study. And the alarms went off.

Richard So, what did you do then?

Lawrence Well, I waited for the police to arrive.



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Richard Did you see this woman that night?

Lawrence No.

Lily What's that?

Richard It's a laser tape measure. Accurate to a millimetre, over 150 metres.

Lily We do have tape measures on Saint-Marie, you know.

Richard Not like this. You don’t, Sergeant Thomson. Now, when DI Hulme's body was found, he was holding a book. A travel guide to Europe. Why? And this is the vase, then, that was found smashed on the night?

Lily Mm-hmm.

Richard When the room was locked down, could anyone else have got in?

Lily No. Not until I entered the code. And it can only be opened from the outside.

Ricahrd Death was instantaneous?

Lily He was killed by a point-22 bullet, shot up through the throat and straight into his skull.

Richard It could almost be suicide, couldn't it, but for two things. One, gunshot and then alarm. How didCharlie shoot himself and then manage to shut down a heavy steel door? And secondly, if it was suicide, why didn't we find a pistol? Then, if it was murder…

James How did the murderer kill DI Hulme and then escapefrom a locked steel room? James Lavender. How do you do?

Richard Can you tell me exactly where youwere standing when the gun went off?



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James Fortunately for me, when the gun went off, I wasdown here on my beach.

Richard Oh, I see. Your beach. Little proprietorial, aren't we?

James Well, I do own it.

Richard Right, and what were you doing down here?

James I was down here for a touch of privacy with a special friend.

Richard A special friend who wasn't necessarily your wife?

James Which was rather the problem.

Sarah James?

James My wife Sarah spotted us. The argument was quick, wordless, ended with a large glass of wine all over her dress.

Richard That means you were at the party when the gun went off?

James No, I came back down here. But my friend had gone.

Lily And how well do you know the deceased?

James Not at all. Maybe Sarah invited her.

Richard Sorry, do we have to, er…

Lily And do you own a point-22 pistol?

James No, I don't know the first thing about guns.Wouldn't know one end from another. You've really dressed for the Caribbean, haven't you?

Richard Yeah. Having heard the gunshot, what did you do next?

James Well, then the alarms went off. I didn't know what was going on, so I hid. Until I saw the police arrive.



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Richard I see the safe was open. How many people knowthe combination to open it?

James Well, I do, of course. And my wife.

Richard That's it? Just the two of you?

James Yeah.

Richard Did you open it that night?

James No.

Richard Or give DI Hulme the combination?

James No.

Richard Then, your wife must have opened it.

James You'll have to ask her yourself, won't you?

Sarah My… My dress was ruined. I was humiliated. I came back to the house. So this is where I was when the alarm went off.

Richard And what did you do next?

Sarah I came in here to get dressed.

Richard Did you invite DI Hulme to the party?

Sarah No. Didn't my husband?

Lily He says he didn't.

Richard On the day of the party, did you open the safe?

Sarah No.

Richard Or give DI Hulme the combination so he could open it?

Sarah No.



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Lily She's lying, isn't she?

Richard One of them must have opened the safe, but why?We've got a British policeman murdered in a richman's panic room, an old book clutched in his hands, a safe that's open, and a vase that's smashed. As for suspects, only two people without an alibi.

Lily James, because he was down on his beach alone, and Sarah, because she was taking a shower.

Richard Not that any of this matters. It doesn't get us any closer to understanding the how. How did the murderer kill Charlie Hulme and escape from a locked steel room? It's impossible. I need to see the pieces from the vase and the book Charlie was holding. First, I need to see the body.

Lily That won't be possible.

Richard What won't? Seeing the body?

Lily No, none of it. The book, the body, the vase -none of it is here.

Richard What are you saying?

Lily It's in Basse-Terre.

Richard Fine. We’ll get sandwiches on the way.

Lily Basse-Terre, Guadeloupe.

Richard Fine.

Lily Which is a completely different island.

Richard What?

Lily We don't have forensic labs and DNA analysis and ballistics here. We are just a small island,so I bag the evidence from the murder, and it all gets flown to Guadeloupe.

Richard Then, how are we supposed to solve this case?



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Lily We'll get their reports.

Richard When? Arrange for the vase and the book to be sent here by tomorrow morning. Can you manage that?

Lily Of course, sir.

Richard Hello?

Camille Who are you?

Richard I'm Detective Inspector Richard Pool of the Metropolitan Police. Who are you?

Camille I, erm, I am Mr Hulme's cleaner.

Richard You're his cleaner? Well, I won't get in your way.You've got your work cut out.

Camille Thank you, sir. So, erm, are you a friend of Charlie's?

Richard Something like that.

Camille You're from England, right?

Richard Ah, you can tell, can you?

Camille Yeah. Erm, what are you doing here? Is it a holiday, sir?

Richard You haven't heard, have you?

Camille Heard what?

He was such a nice man. So full of life, not your typical…

Richard Yes, I've heard, yeah.

Camille But who would kill him?

Richard We're pursuing a number of lines of inquiries.



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Camille Are you… Are you staying here, sir?

Richard Er, yes, apparently so.

Camille And will you be here long?

Richard I hope not.

Camille Oh, do you need a cleaner? Or laundry? I could always send any of your suits.

Richard No, it's fine, really, don't worry. I'll just borrow the odd item from Mr Hulme.

Camille They're not all clean.

Richard Oh, please.

Richard No, you lost my suitcase, so you can find my suitcase. What do you mean you've got no record of it? I filled in the form and gave it to Daphne. Daphne! She was standing by the lost luggage counter when I lost my… I'll ring you back. Shoo!

Richard Where can I get a point-22 calibre gun and some blank rounds? Best if I don't ask?

Dwayne It's always best if you don't ask.

Lily So, the book and vase have arrived from Guadeloupe.

Dwayne Hey, Smithy!

Richard Well done, Lily. Good work. So this is it. The book Charlie was holding when he was shot.

Lily Mm-hmm.

Ricahrd What's so special about it? Ah! And now the piecesfrom the smashed vase. Yeah, yes, this is all good.I should be able to…

Fidel There are still two more bags, sir.



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Richard Even so, a bit of glue and, er…

Dwayne OK, the gun is sorted.

Richard Well, when you get it, bring it straight to James Lavender's house. Lily and I are going there now.

Lily We are? Why?

Richard Because it turns out Lady Salcombe's been lying to us.

Richard Good morning, Lady Salcombe.

Sarah Please, call me Sarah.

Richard Then tell me, Sarah, why did you lie to me?

Sarah I'm sorry?

Richard You knew Charlie Hulme.

Sarah No, I didn’t!

Richard You'd been to his house before, hadn't you? I smelled a perfume on one of his towels, a perfume I'd only smelled once before in your dressing room.You shot Charlie Hulme.

Sarah What? No!

Richard In the Panic Room that night.

Sarah No I didn't.

Richard Then you calmly went for a shower, washing off anytrace of evidence in the process.

Sarah I didn't kill Charlie!

Richard You did, Sarah, in cold blood. You put a gun to his throat and pulled the trigger.



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Sarah No, I didn't kill him, I loved him!

Sarah I'd always worried that James would find out about Charlie and me. When I saw him shot dead…

Richard You think James killed him.

Sarah Charlie was investigating my husband.

Lily Why?

Sarah He said he didn't dare tell me, my life would be in danger.

Richard It was you. You gave Charlie the combination to the safe, didn't you?

Sarah Charlie said there was a book in the safe and that if he could just get a hold of it, he would be ableto put my husband in prison.

Richard We've seen the book. It's just an old guidebook.What's so special about it?

James Apologies for interrupting. Your colleagues say they're ready.

Lawrence Dwayne. Psst! Dwayne. So, who is your prime suspect?

Dwayne Sorry?

Lawrence Well, we're having a little sweepstake, so, you know, a nod in the right direction?

Dwayne It's a bit of a mystery so far. We're thinking of fitting up one of the staff. Listen, when I'm dressed like this, don't mess with me, OK?

Lily OK, Dwayne and Fidel, are you in position?



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Dwayne Yep.

Richard Are you sure these are blanks?

Lily Yes. Did either of you hear that?

Dwayne You fired that gun yet?

Lily The Detective Inspector’s going to fire again. You hear that?

Dwayne No, nothing.

Richard This is a point-22 pistol - the same calibre as the gun that killed Charlie Hulme. So, if Dwayne and Fidel can't hear me firing on a day like today,what did the guests hear on the night of the party?

James The gunshot that killed Charlie Hulme.

Richard No, any gunshot they heard must have come from a larger calibre gun. A louder gun.

James Ah! Well, if it's a louder gun you're looking for?

Richard You said you didn't own a gun.

James No, I said I didn't own a point-22 pistol. But if it's a large gun you're after… Darling?

Richard What large gun?

Sarah It was my father’s. His service revolver. It's been here for years. It's gone. There's a box of bullets, but the gun's disappeared.

Richard Point-38 calibre, Smith Wesson rounds. Yup, it's a loud gun. And now it's missing. Who knew it was kept there?

Sarah Me, of course. And… And James.

Richard Anyone else?

Sarah No.



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Richard So once again, it's either James or Sarah. And I don't peg Sarah as a murderer.

Lily Are you saying women don't kill people? Sir, she doesn't have an alibi for the time of the murder.She was having an affair with the deceased. She owns a gun she didn't tell us about, which now has apparently gone missing. Oh, yes, and she turns up at the scene of the murder having showered and washed her hair?

Richard Well, at least that’s understandable.

Lily What?

Richard The shower. This unremitting heat. I mean, how many showers do you have a day?

Richard What's in this book worth dying for? You know, if we could just prove the service revolver was fired that night…

Lily All right, sir?

Richard Yeah. It would mean that Charlie could have been killed before 8 o’clock with a quiet point-22 pistol, and the service revolver was only fired at 8 o’clock to establish an apparent time of death.

Lily You need a break. Let's go for a walk.

Richrd Where?

Lily So, tell me, what's London like?

Richard Oh, er, noisy, a mess, like being in a bar fight mostly, but, er…

Lily You love it?

Richard The only place I'd live.

Lily What's a typical London experience? Hmm? Something



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that fills you with joy. Tell me.

Richard Er, so… Walking into my local - the White Hart.It's snowing, bitterly cold outside, but there's a fire roaring in the grate, the windows misty with condensation, and I've got a beer in my hand, sitting in the snug, in the chair that I sit in, and that first sip.

Lily Alone?

Richard Yes, but that feeling, you know, of, er, belonging,knowing who you are. Whatever this is, it's not that.

Lily OK, so I'll see you tomorrow, shall I?

Richard Yes, yes. Good idea. Yeah. And, er, thanks again.

Lily Good night.

Richard Yeah, good work. Er, you've been fantastic.

Richard Oh, come on!

Dwayne Is the inspector in yet?

Fidel No. He found a key. Looks like it's for a safety deposit box. Him and Lily have gone to the bank to check it out.

bank employee Just knock on the door when you want to be let out.

Lily So, Charlie's a policeman abroad. It's not necessarily suspicious for him to have a safety deposit box. On the other hand… Cash, forged passports. Human trafficking, it’s got to be.Up through the Caribbean and into the States. It's a multi-million dollar trade, and it absolutely relies on corrupt officials.



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Richard But how does all this tie in with James Lavender?

Lily Oh, well, that, sir, is easy.

Richard How come?

Lily Because that is James Lavender's boat.

Richard We found these in Charlie Hulme’s safety deposit box. I want them logged and fingerprinted ASAP.

Fidel Yes, sir. It’s the airport. They’ve found your luggage.

Richard Not now, Fidel. Dwayne, Lily’s getting a warrantto search James's house and yacht. I need you to give me a lift to the harbour, if you would. You do have another car, don't you? It's not just… It's just the one car, isn't it? What do you do in emergencies?

Dwayne I thought you'd never ask.

Dwayne There she is over there.

Richard How are we going to get to it? No, no. Um… We haven't got a search warrant.

Dwayne We have now.

Dwayne Locked.

Lily Hey, look what I've found! You all right there, sir?

Richard All right. People-smuggling.

Lily Told you.

Richard Hang on. You're Charlie's cleaner.



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Lily He didn't have a cleaner.

Richard She was in my house!

Dwayne Just like that?

Richard No, just as a cleaner! Now what!?

There you are!

Remind me to tell you the story of the tortoise and the hare sometime.

Richard What were you doing on James Lavender's boat? OK. What's your relationship with James Lavender? What were you doing at Charlie’s house, pretending to be a cleaner? Hang on. This is you, isn’t it? You were at the party that night. Why?

Camille Is this a formal interview?

Richard No, of course not.

Camille Then why are you talking to me?

Richard No, of course. I'll arrange for a duty solicitorto visit you immediately. What's so funny?

Camille Oh, no, it's just… It's 100 degrees in here, and you’re standing there in a suit and tie, talking about duty solicitors.

Richard I'm a British policeman.

Camille No, you’re kidding me.

Richard And you're in there because I found you on a boat that's been used for people-smuggling.

Camille Give me my phone call.

Richard Fidel, our friend wants her one phone call.

Fidel Yes, sir.



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Richard That’s for you and me, Lily. I think it's time toput the squeeze on James Lavender.

Lily Yes, sir.

Richard I'm not leaving till we've got it all. How the people-smuggling works, who that woman is we’ve got in the cells, oh, and what Charlie was doing inthe Panic Room when he was killed, why he was killed, why he was holding the book, and how, finally, how Charlie was murdered. Oh, no.

Lily Dead. He must have shot himself.

Richard It's a point-22 pistol, isn't it? Just like the onethat killed Charlie Hulme.

Lily This isn't a suicide, sir. This is a confession.James killed Charlie.

Richard But someone warned him, didn't they? Her one phone call.

Richard OK, so who did you phone?

Marlon You are in so much trouble.

Richard Sir, there's been a breakout. I'm ringing the coastguard and Interpol. We need to alert the airport. How did she escape from a locked cell?

Selwyn Detective Inspector, can I introduce you toDetective Sergeant Camille Bordey? Born in Sainte-Marie, trained in Paris, but for the last two years has been working undercover on Guadeloupe.

Camille Making the case against James Lavender.

Selwyn And she's back on the island.

Camille Because I'm days away from an arrest, so I'd appreciate if you’d…



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Richard I’m sorry, there’s an undercover officer on this island, working the same case, and you didn't think to tell me?

Selwyn We couldn't. Camille reckons there’s a corrupt policeman helping James Lavender. We couldn't take the risk of…

Richard It’s not likely to be me, is it? I've been in Croydon for the last 13 years! And if you’re looking for your corrupt copper, it was Charlie Hulme.

Camille How do you know that?

Richard I've got box full of evidence linking Charlie to human-trafficking and James Lavender’s yacht. Charlie was clearly James's right-hand man.

Camille Then we need to go in hard, sir, arrest James Lavender right now.

Richard Small problem.

Camille Don't tell me there is some form wehave to fill in first in triplicate?

Richard James Lavender's dead. Looks like suicide. But either way, as far as this case goes, Charlie Hulme's a dead end, and now so too is James Lavender.

Richard This place!

Lily Sir, look, if James killed Charlie and then killed himself, I can take over from here, finish the paperwork. You could be on the next plane out of here.

Richard Oh, don’t. I'm imagining it now. Walking out at Heathrow, being cold. Finally being cold again. You know, I never thought I'd miss it.

Lily Miss what?



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Richard Drizzle. That feeling on your face like a wet flannel. Oh, England. Problem is we may know what happened, but we still don't really know how it happened. How was Charlie killed from inside a locked panic room? Lily, I need you to stay hereand conclude the interviews. Fidel, you're with me.

Fidel Yes, sir!

Fidel I don't believe it. How long?

Richard You do not ever want to know how long. OK, that seems about right. It took me… This wasn't knocked over. Look, here and here. It was shot from slightly above and angling downwards. Now, if you go over towards the desk… Let's say you're James.

Fidel You think James shot Charlie?

Richard At this stage, all I know is that somebody shot this vase, but with a point-22 bullet or a point-38? That's the question. The whole case rather depends on us finding the answer. So, if you just hold that absolutely still. Let's find outwhere the bullet went.

Fidel You need to watch out for snakes, sir. They can be in the trees sometimes, too.

Richard Ha! I thought you were… Where have you been?

Dwayne I figured the tortoise would get there a whole lot quicker with a metal detector.

Richard Finally, proof. The bullet that shot the vase on the night of the murder was a point-38 calibre fired by a bloody loud service revolver. Oh, no, not again. Yes, what? Sorry? No, no, no, start again. My luggage. What do you mean it's still in Heathrow? You lost it in Sainte-Marie! Eh? Oh! Oh, I see. No, sorry. Just, er, keep it in Heathrow,please, and I'll be back, er, soon. In fact, I'll be on the next plane out of here.



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Fidel Are you OK there, sir?

Richard They never put my luggage on the plane. Yep! Yes, of course! Oh!

Dwayne It's the heat. It's finally got the better of him.

Richard She fired the gun, and then…

Fidel Should I call for an ambulance?

Richard Yes, you do! Of course! Thank you, Fidel! Yes, OK. So, that phone call, and then into the sea with you. Brilliant, brilliant. Leaving the murderer free to commit murder.

Dwayne Er, just loosen your tie a moment there, sir.

Richard It's very, very simple.

Dwayne Call the ambulance.

Richard No, call the Commissioner. He’s going to need to be here for the arrest.

Dwayne OK, you said it. Better get the Commissioner here as soon as possible.

Richard But why kill him in the first place? That’s the question? But then, if the bullet's not the bullet… What if… Yes!

Dwayne How many fingers am I holding up, sir?

Richard Fidel, James Lavender had a mobile phone on him when he died. Get it for me. I'm also going to need the point-22 pistol he was holding when we found his body. And while you're getting them, you and me, Dwayne, we're going to have a little chat.

Richard You know, I should have realised the lessons of my luggage sooner.

Selwyn Your luggage?



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Richard See, My case was never loaded onto the plane. It remained in Heathrow. So when the hold was openedin Sainte-Marie, it looked as though it had disappeared. Whereas, in reality, it was never in there in the first place.

Selwyn But how does that help?

Richard The same way, when the panic room was opened, we thought the killer had isappeared, but in reality,the murderer was never in there.

Sarah Please just tell me who killed Charlie.

Richard When Charlie investigated your husband, he set in motion a chain of events that would lead to his murder and your husband’s. On the night of the party, I think James discovered Charlie in the panic room and realised he had to kill him. The only problem being James doesn't know his way round a gun, as he told us. So he only managed to shoot the vase, at which point Charlie does the only logical thing and locks himself safely inside the panic room. Now, James has just tried to kill a policeman, so what does he do? He goes back to his beach, where I presume he disposed of the service revolver before making a call. In fact, he must have made a phone call. He didn't kill Charlie Hulme, so who did get he to do it?

Sarah You can't be sure it wasn't James.

Richard I can. James only managed to shoot a vase using your service revolver. The only gunshot that was heard on the night. Don't you see what this means?We have no way of knowing when Charlie was killed,because nobody heard the point-22 gunshot that killed him. He could have been killed at any time on the night of the murder.

Lily So, are you saying he was killed before the panic room was shut down?

Richard Haven't you worked it out yet?

Lily No, sir.



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Richard I know who the murderer is, and so do you, Sergeant Thompson, because it's you. You murdered Charlie Hulme.

Lily Are you insane?

Richard No. Dwayne. You quickly realised killing Charlieonly bought you time. Isn't that right?

Richard How did the murderer kill Charlie and escape from a locked steel room? It’s impossible.

Richard What you needed next was a sacrificial lamb, so you planted a safety deposit key in my bungalow, knowing that I'd find it the next time I showered.

Richard I mean, how many showers do you have a day?

Richard ‘Cause once I had the key, you could lead me to the safety deposit box, with all the evidence you'd planted to create supposed links between Charlie Hulme, human-trafficking and James Lavender, who you killed before picking up the warrant for us to search his yacht.

Lily Sir, This is all lies.

Selwyn Can you prove any of this?

Richard Charlie was found shot dead inside a locked panic room, on his own, no gun nearby. If you think about it logically, as he's the only person found inside, he must have been alive when the room was locked down. Who else could have shut the door apart from him? He’s the only person found in there. And if he was alive when he locked the room down…

Lily So, everybody out and don't touch anything.

Richard He must have also been alive when Sergeant Thompson opened it up. Even if he was dead within seconds of her arriving on the scene. You see, this wasn't an impossible murder. It merely happened after the police arrived. Isn't that so, Sergeant? Now, I wonder who James rang that night, having just



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attempted to murder a British policeman? Ah, well now, here we are. Because if he rang you, Sergeant,that's going to be pretty incriminating, don't you think?

Lily Hello?

Richard So, why did he ring you if not to say that Charlie was going to take you both down unless you took him out?

Lily Why would I kill Charlie Hulme?

Richard Are you saying women don't kill people? Because of the book Charlie was holding - the book he’d just got from the safe, and which was about to put you and James in prison.

Selwyn The book he was holding was a travel guide.

Richard But was it, sir?

Selwyn Yes, it was.

Richard And yet, with this case, nothing has been as it seems. The gun that was heard on the night wasn't the gun that killed Charlie. The bullet that was fired wasn’t the bullet that killed Charlie. So this is what I suddenly thought: what if the book Charlie was holding wasn't the book Charlie was holding?

Lily It's Charlie Hulme.

Richard Imagine the book Charlie was holding was incriminating and you're Lily. What do you do? Well, you clear the crime scene, of course. Standard procedure. But then what?

Lily Call an ambulance. Now!

Richard Everyone's seen the book in his hand. You can't very well remove it, so you swap it for any book on these shelves that looks the same. The innocent book going into Charlie's hands, and the incriminating book going back on the shelves,



Series 1, Episode 1

concealed amongst all these others. Hidden in plain view, as it were. What's more, I reckon I can do this in one. Ah, Charlie Hulme's blood on this. You see? Everything you'd need to prove James’s involvement in human-trafficking. Money, dates, cargoes…

Fidel How did you just do that?

Richard This is the only one with no writing down the spine. I imagine you were planning to come back some time and retrieve it. Oh, your name's in here.All the way through, in fact. And, er, here's a fingerprint in Charlie Hulme's blood. I mean, logically, if you think about it, that's going to be quite hard to explain if it turns out to be yours. You know, I have to take my hat off to you.You had me pointing this way and that from the start. And there were times, I must confess, when you were dazzling.

Fidel You killed two people. Why?

Lily Do you know how many times I've been passed over?Someone sent from London to do a job I should be doing? Charlie Hulme and now him? So, if I'm not good enough, why not take the money instead and a lot of it? Enough to get away from this. Away from you. There's a whole world out there, you know, Fidel.

Richard Problem is I don't think you'll ever get to leavethis island again. Dwayne, Fidel, If you would.

Dwayne Sure thing, Chief.

Richard Hmm.

Richard Ay, yai yai! What if I'd trodden on you? No point looking at me like that. I'm off.

Selwyn It isn't a stitch up.



Series 1, Episode 1

Richard Really? So, my super in London arranges for me to be posted here, you agree to it, and it's not a stitch up.

Selwyn Of course not. It's just a sensible reallocation of resources.

Richard Look, don't get me wrong, I'm sure the Caribbean's great. Beach holidays and snorkelling. But I can't work here, let alone live here. I don't know if anybody's noticed but there's a tree growing through my front room! I've got no luggage.

Selwyn Ah!

Richard What?

Selwyn You know how your luggage was left at Heathrow?

Dwayne Your suitcase, Chief.

Richard Anything else? Any other bombshells I should know about?

Selwyn Of course not. No! Well, maybe one.

Richard No!

Camille Tell me about it.

Richard You're undercover!

Camille Was undercover. You kind of blew that when you arrested me, remember?

Richard Come on! No one knows you're a copper!

Marlon I do.

Richard What?

Selwyn And if a crook like Marlon knows, then everyone in the underworld will know she’s a copper, my brethren.

Marlon Oi! I’m not a crook!



Series 1, Episode 1

Everyone Yes, you are!

Richard Can't you go back to Guadeloupe?

Camille Can't you go back to London?

Richard I'm trying.

Camille Try harder!

Richard I can't work with her!

Camille I can't work with him!

Selwyn The paperwork is done. You’re both staying. So, as Commissioner, I'm very pleased to say, on behalf of the Royal Sainte-Marie Police Force, welcome to paradise.


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