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If I say Please, will you Stay?ViaKate Rose

on May 31, 2016

The best kinds of people are those who come into our lives by accident, but stay

on purpose. ~ curiano.com

Sometimes there are words that we cant speak and

decisions that seem impossible to make.Not making a choice or saying what is in our hearts can somehow stave off

destruction or failure. But other times our desire bubbles beneath our skin with a

rosy glow, our breathing flutters in an anxious melody of what if and our only choice

is to say what we are really thinking.

If I say please, will you linger to see what happens between us, once and for all?

At one point I said perhaps nothing exists between us, yet there is a time when even

the most convincing lies outgrow their comfort level. Ive run and chased and hid, all

the while hoping that whatever pulses between us, vibrating the air into golden

waves, will eventually die out on its own.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/05/if-i-say-please-will-you-stay/http://www.elephantjournal.com/author/kate-rose/http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/05/if-i-say-please-will-you-stay/http://www.elephantjournal.com/author/kate-rose/

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Mostly so I will never have to take a chance to look at exactly what this is.

At one time, not knowing seemed easier than making the choice to find out what

there really is between us. Because it has never gone away, despite how much we

both hoped it would.

I dont know if unanswered questions still linger upon your lips in the way my kissesalways did. But if they do, Im asking if you will stay this time to taste the sweet

surrender of letting what happens to happen, if we make the choice to explore it.

We can make the decision to give the sparks and electricity a chance to grow roots.

If I say please, will you stay and ignore all the reasons why you shouldnt?

Sometimes the list of dusty words heavy with impossibility can actually keep us

more company than the love we are seeking.

Im not discounting any of the reasons that we have clung to. Im just starting to

believe that despite the reasons we shouldnt be together, the reality of whathas been trying to grow is right in front of us.

Maybe there are still a thousand reasons why you shouldnt, yet it only takes one

reason you should.

This reason tastes like sweltering summer nights. It feels like something neither of

us knew was real until we spent all of our energy trying to prove that it wasnt.

Its not that Im asking you to ignore all of the reasons why you shouldnt, but to see

if there a single reason why you should.

Even if its just to be sure or not if I am everything youve been searching for, butnever truly expected to find.

If I say please, will you stay to find out if this is love?

Maybe our connection is nothing more than the erotic realism that comes when two

people vibrate on the same frequency. Perhaps we are the dangerous combination

of safety and the tantalizing taste of something we know we shouldnt want.

Or perhaps its a kind of love that neither of us ever knew existed, let alone ever

dreamed of finding.

Im not asking you to love me, but only to give yourself the time to see if its truly

love. Do not be scared of the truth in your heart, give it permission.

I loved you long before I fell into love with you, yet somehow it tastes all the more

sweet because I tried my hardest not to.

Theres something sublimely beautiful about letting ourselves travel to places we

told ourselves we never would. While it may be a journey that still seems impossible

to you, Im hoping and asking if this time youll let yourself go to all the places

youve never gone before.

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I dont want to trap you into an ending of commonality and subtitles so thick neither

of us can make sense of it. I only ask you to look at the possibility that, even though

our love was what we were hoping it wasnt, its the kind of love where there is no

going back.

If I say pleasewill you stay the night?I know the type of lover you are, and while delicious memories of you make my

supple desire begin to pulse, this time Im after more.

More than just having sex with you, Id like to sleep tangled up with you in alabaster

Egyptian cotton as soft as our skin.

There is a chance that one night together wont change anything, that it will just

another night of thousands in our lifetime. But its also just as likely that in the quiet

moments of the darkened moon and my bare body against yours that something will

begin to sway and move between us making it even harder to ever walk away fromone another.

Regardless of which outcome shines its truth come morning light, Id like to spend

one night learning how you breathe in your sleep when there arent any walls left to

keep us apart.

Yet, none of this comes with ultimatums or answers, because this time maybe its

the questions that matter most, regardless of what new truths, if any, we may learn.

Maybe we will find that we knew this truth long ago. Perhaps we will awaken and

realize that we had been so busy chasing the sun, wed forgotten how beautiful themoon can truly be.

In truth Im only asking you to stay this time because I no longer have the desire to

make you leave.

So, if I say pleasewill you stay to see what happens if we both let it?

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Love Him for Who He is Not

Who you Wish He would Be.ViaKate Rose

on May 28, 2016

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/05/love-him-for-who-he-is-not-who-you-wish-he-would-be/http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/05/love-him-for-who-he-is-not-who-you-wish-he-would-be/http://www.elephantjournal.com/author/kate-rose/http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/05/love-him-for-who-he-is-not-who-you-wish-he-would-be/http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/05/love-him-for-who-he-is-not-who-you-wish-he-would-be/http://www.elephantjournal.com/author/kate-rose/

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Mature love is not caught up in a fantasy. It is willing to see someone for who they

are and choosing to love them fully. ~ Thema Davis

The man, who cracks open your heart and breathes

crazy life into your wildest dreams, deserves to be loved

for the man he actually is, not for who you wish he was.

Its easy to look at someone and see their potential, possessing some of the

qualities we are looking for. Its tempting to add and subtract ingredients until it

seems this man is precisely who we have been looking for all along.

But this man, whether he is bound to us or not, deserves to be loved exactly for who

he is.

Look at him. Do not focus just on his light, but his shadows, because it is here that

we can meet him in radiant acceptance. Its here, where darkness and cobwebs

linger as memories against the fallen sun, where we can dance with him. Kiss his

scars and show him that the marks hes tried to hide, make us love him all the

more.

The thing is, this man is exceptional, not because he is infallible but because there

is no one else like him in this world. He deserves to be admired simply for the man

he is now, not a work in progress or fixer upper.

To love someone purely and intentionally is to know that the only choice we have is

to accept them for all that they are or not at all.

We cant only choose the bits and pieces that make us comfortable or that fit our

image of how a lover should be, because regardless of how we see him, this man is

exactly as he is supposed to be in this very moment.

Just as we are.

Love isnt about change, but about acceptance.

Love is a feeling of butterflies and home. It tastes like the electricity emitted from

summer thunder storms and feels like the intoxicating pull of the tides. The best part

is, love does exist.

A love like this is real but in order to taste its sweet arousing complexity, we first

have to realize that its not the job of our partner to be who we want them to be nor

is their job to reflect an image that makes us comfortable within the confined

borders of the expectations of others.

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This love is found by letting our wild side roam free amongst the blackened hills,

creased with the knowledge that none of us are perfect but that we deserve to be

loved as though we are.

This man may not always make it easy for us to love him for who he is. The thing is,

if we are unable to do that, then another woman will.Its not about protecting what is ours. If we are unable to be present in the moment

and appreciate someone for who they are, it simply means that they arent really

meant for us.

We should never have to talk ourselves into loving or respecting this man because if

it doesnt come naturally then perhaps it was never meant to be at all.

Possibly this man is someone who is convenient to love, or maybe he is just a fallen

warrior. His life has gotten the best of him, hanging his head in bitter defeat againstfollowing his brain instead of his heart.

He might be the best thing that has ever happened to us. But if we continue to

struggle from swimming upstream against his unique flow of consciousness, then

maybe its because were more in love with who we want him to be than the man he

actually is.

To love someone for who they are means taking off our rose colored glasses, our

heavy cape of expectation and fear that have more to do with us and less with the

man he is. It means realizing that if we cant meet him in the place of blinding truththen perhaps its best to kiss this sweet man goodbye and travel away from his

warm beating ripe heart.

But, if leaving seems impossible, then the thing we must do is love him exactly for

who he is in this moment. Its a choice to love this man purely as he is, because his

surface may be stunning but its his depths that are most memorable.

Hes not perfect, but neither are we, we just have to decide if were perfect for each

other.

Choosing to love this man means not closing our eyes to the difficult parts butinstead offer our patient and tender hand, letting him know that regardless of what

stains his history, we see them as nothing more than splashes of paint, making his

life even more colorful.

It means making the choice to meet himnot in the realm of impossible, but in the

land of reality.

At the end of the day, its not about fairytales or sweet words that drip in honey, but

in the unique and powerful connection that occurs when two people choose each

other, not because they have to, but because not choosing one anotheris impossible.

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The most courageous thing we can do is to simply make the choice to love him

exactly as he is, knowing that who he is will always be just enough for us.

And this will be the beginning of everything.

The Beauty in Speaking my Heart.

ViaKate Rose

on May 27, 2016

http://www.elephantjournal.com/author/kate-rose/http://www.elephantjournal.com/author/kate-rose/

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Speak boldly and with intellect. Never hush your voice for someone elses comfort.

Speak your mind, make people uncomfortable. ~ Unknown

I am choking on all of the words I know I shouldnt say

out loud.I feel as if I am ill. My throat burns and my heart aches with the suffocation of not

speaking what is written across my body in shaky manuscript, soaking in tears and

the disillusionment of artificial ties to what is no longer serving me.

Suddenly I realize that I cant find the words to speak what needs to be said. It is a

momentary truth. Whether or not these words withstand the test of time, they needto be expressednot so anyone else might hear them, but so I can breathe a sigh

of relief knowing they are released into the world.

I feel as if my identity is spun at the hands of those who misunderstand me.

Regardless of how authentically I present myself or my thoughts, others can only

understand me according to their own level of self-awareness and comprehension.

My truth is mine regardless of how it is interpreted. I am not asking others to agree,

but I am hoping my words will make others stop and think, if only for a moment.

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Sometimes I feel as if I know nothing at all, that these words are simply dreams that

grew wings and then launched themselves into space without any predetermined

destination. Maybe that is the only way to speak the sentiments of our heart, when it

thinks no one else is listening.

Im just a woman, sometimes simple yet often times more complex than I canimagine. I dont intend to be the way I am. It comes as naturally as the seasons do,

sometimes blooming pale pink in lovely adoration, and at others barren and cold,

waiting to come alive once again.

No one is one specific persona, as long as we allow ourselves to ebb and flow as

the tides along the rocky shore.

Im independent and strong yet know that I have a tender weakness I try to protect

with the scandalous armor of sexiness and a brash honesty.

All I can do is bleed these crimson soaked words, smelling of warm vanilla andaged pages from a journal that no one wishes to read anymore.

Im brave, but oh so scaredevery single day.

Fear sometimes wraps itself around my bruised heart until one day it can reach the

sun and bloom.

But its not a fear I run from, which may sound like a contradiction. Rather Ive

made friends with my fear. We sit over steaming mugs of black mango tea steeped

in honey and laugh about all of the times I thought I had things figured out, only to

realize the moral never came.At one time my journey was painful because I was scared to talk to GodI had

trepidation in acknowledging that such a being existed. After experiencing great

pain; babies that bled from my womb, bruises that appeared on my skin and

children whose cries still echo in my mind, I wondered how such a God could exist.

So it became easier to pray to the universe, until I realized one day that I wasnt

scared of God anymore, we had made peace.

I may never identify with one particular religion, but not feeling embarrassed orscared by my belief in the divine feels like a piece of my heart is fitting back

together, gifting me the strength that Id abandoned in the bitter trails of indifference.

I never lose sleep because deep down I have unfathomable faith.

And I realize that its not late night whiskey moons, or breathing in pot smoke as

thick as a summer night that makes me a wild woman, but its my vulnerability. Its

giving myself the courage to say whats on my mind and in my heart.

My need to share my words scare me as I sit and let the harsh first light of day wash

over them. Yet silencing myself is a battle that I have no desire to wage again.

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Sometimes its hard to keep writingto keep letting it flow and not worry about what

may come of the prose that sometimes seems to be too good to be true. My

memories and wishes mix like the rivers into the vast ocean. Regardless of the

contradictions, or seemingly twisting backroads, its all a part of who I am.

Im content, yet I want.I want a love whose old fashioned sweetness is matched

by its unparalleled freedom.I enjoy gender specific roles which provide comfort, yet crave the freedom that

lets us both fly away when we need to. Tender hands and a soft heart of a leader

a love who can sit quietly with an arm around my shoulders as Im reminded Im not

alone in this life or with an erotic hair pull and a slap of my *ss can let me know

whos really in charge.

Because as the moon grows full under the lingering summer sky, I am reminded

that who I am is not determined by the rules I played by yesterday.

Maybe Ill seem shy or perhaps radiate a confidence so bright its blinding. There

might be an innocent look to a dirty thought, and I may seem so strong that I

couldnt possibly need anyone.

Yet, I do.

I need and want and crave and satisfy, again and again until morning comes and

the new day determines a new meand with it whatever lessons or blessings thatlife might bring my way.

And maybe its crazy to speak my crazy fears and desires, my innermost thoughts.

But on the other hand, it feels crazier not to.