Wellnessseeker Presents:

Break Free fromEmotional

EatingIn Six Steps

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Introduction

Emotions & Food

Emotional Eating Explained

Emotional Eating Test

Emotional Eating

Emotional Patterns

Emotional Mastery

Emotional Management

Breaking Free

Conclusion

Thank you!

Table of Contents

II've been there! Many many times!'ve been there! Many many times!

...IT STARTS over a weekend, with the view to launch on Monday morning. I have

spent most of Saturday afternoon researching online, listening and reading the

amazing testimonials. This is the holy grail of diets for sure...

Until the weekend arrives and I eat to celebrate.

Until the credit card bill comes in and I eat to forget.

Until work is so mundane that I eat to lift the boredom.

Until I'm so stressed from the demands of motherhood that I eat to escape.

Introduction

All this eating would take me to a place I hated, somewhere in the dark corner of

my mind and there I would feel disgusted with myself and my lack of self control.

I would call myself the most horrible names and then eat to forget.

Until that special night out on the town, with my girlfriends, looms near - and I'm

caught in a cycle of panic about how much weight I've actually gained and what

to do now to get rid of it. Before I know it, I'm back on the dieting trail and

determined, so determined to lose the weight - this time!!

UNTIL, UNTIL, UNTIL...

This was my pattern for years. It describes my battle with food, diets and the low

self-esteem that gripped me when the diets inevitably failed.

To be honest, this only scratches the surface of what I actually felt about myself

when I failed and the struggle I had with the negative voice in my head that

always followed.

I am qualified as a Person Centered Counselor and have been in practice for

many years, helping numerous people live their best lives. I should know better,

shouldn't I? This was one area of my life that I just couldn’t seem to get a handle

on. Over the years I had developed a repetitive pattern of behaviour around

emotional eating and I suffered hundreds of failures with diets and losing weight.

Change Came in DisguiseChange Came in Disguise

I was working on a programme of change for my clients through the Tony Robins

Breakthrough Programme over a year ago. I found the philosophy involved

incredibly insightful and clear. I was able to combine my expertise in emotional

mastery with my new breakthrough training and develop this programme called:

Break Free From Emotional EatingBreak Free From Emotional Eating

in six steps...

InstructionsInstructions

There are six pieces to solving the puzzle; six steps to understanding and

overcoming your emotional eating and end your dieting days forever. Follow

these steps and you will set yourself free from the torture of emotional eating,

yo-yo dieting and poor self esteem. These six steps are:

1. Understanding how emotions and food are connected.

2. Testing yourself - are you an emotional eater?

3. Understanding your emotional patterns.

4. Learn to master your emotions and develop new patterns.

5. Learn to manage and soothe your emotions internally.

6. Implementing change: develop and practice the new patterns/habits until

they are second nature to you.

THIS BOOK IS MY GIFT TO YOUTHIS BOOK IS MY GIFT TO YOU

Step One: Understanding the importance of emotions and their connectionStep One: Understanding the importance of emotions and their connection

to food.to food.

Everything we humans do in life is driven by our emotions. Every action we takeEvery action we take

isis conceptualized in thought and motivated by feelingconceptualized in thought and motivated by feeling. In short, it is our

feelings that dictate our behaviour. 

Our culture teaches us to manage our thoughts, think positively, and repeat

good affirmations. Great advice there’s no doubt, but it’s our EMOTIONS that

are the real driver and understanding these emotions and their impact on our

lives, is key to our FREEDOM. And indeed the key to unlocking yourself from

emotional eating.

Emotions & Food

If we feel good about a certain action we will move toward it quite naturally,

without any force. For example, an invite to the party of the year arrives. You are

filled with excitement and anticipation and you move with ease toward planning

the outfit and the travel arrangements. It’s an enjoyable and positive process.

Life is easy and free flowing when our feelings are positive. Why? Because Because

positive feelings automatically create effortless actionpositive feelings automatically create effortless action. It's human nature -

energy goes where emotions flow...

Now let’s look at a negative emotion. This invitation to the party arrives and

instantly you're filled with dread. You've gained weight again, nothing from your

wardrobe fits you and you can't afford a new outfit nor do you want to go up

another size - again! But it's really important that you attend this party anyway.

What happens - you feel terrible about yourself and are filled with dread (a real

negative emotion). An emotional tug of war starts and the results are feelings of

resistance and discomfort. Your mind is trying to find ways in which you can

wriggle out of going to the party and without losing face. Resistance will prevail

until the event is over and the pain is eased.

My personal experience has taught me that it is our it is our negative feelings thatnegative feelings that

we try to avoid no matter the cost.we try to avoid no matter the cost. It is not the situation or even the

thoughts of the situation that have the negative impact – it’s the feelings that

the thoughts create, that we avoid at every turn.

When we are in emotional pain and we are struggling to move past this pain, we

tend to self soothe or quick fix it, using a variety of tricks. Food and drink are the

usual pacifiers to pain, with millions all over our world comfort eating in times of

emotional discomfort.

So what is it about food and drink that soothes us?

Our favorite foods taste fabulous - we love them. However, it's not only the taste

of food that brings pleasure but the conversation about food too, the

anticipation...

The scrumptious association of food with good times and delight is peppered all

over our daily conversations with family and friends. We talk non stop about

food; cook books are hot off the book shelves; Facebook is falling down with

pages on quick recipes using only video and pictures to instruct, and boy do they

make you feel good...

ALSO it's the dinner parties; it's the meals in our newest restaurants in town with

our girlfriends and on it goes...

Food gives us reason for love and connection again and again and further

heightens the feel-good factor in us, in relation to food.

When you understand the immense power of our connections with food it is

much easier to see clearly why, when we are feeling bad or on a low ebb, we

choose food and those negative feelings move on.

Look at the sheer mounds and varieties of foods in our supermarkets and the

accessibility of it - it is so easy to see why it is the drug of choice.

But why are we craving and lusting over carbs, chocolate and fatty foods? Why

can't we lust for kale and carrots?

LET ME EXPLAIN: Your body, like your brain, is a smart piece of kit. Flavour is

only part of the reason you crave these foods. Your brain chemistry actually

changes when you eat the bag of chips or the cream cake. "Carbohydrates set

off a series of chemical reactions that ultimately lead to a boost in brain

serotonin" says Judith Wurtman, Ph.D., the former Director of the Research

Program in Women’s Health at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,

Clinical Research Center. Therefore, the higher the levels of serotonin, the more

content you feel (at least temporarily).

Once we engage in eating behaviour that rewards us emotionally, we develop a

cognitive, emotional and behavioural pattern. This simply means that you

become hard wired to reach for the chocolate and the chips and the cream cake.

Your brain links the food with the feelings and records it and repeats it inYour brain links the food with the feelings and records it and repeats it in

lightening speed when triggered by your difficult emotions.lightening speed when triggered by your difficult emotions.

When you understand the effect certain foods have chemically in our bodies and

in our minds then you'll see clearly how we use food to soothe difficult feelings

and why we get locked into a pattern of emotional eating behaviour - and we

aren't even aware that we are in this cycle.

However, the emotional pain that we started with, is still very much inside of us,

still unhealed and unacknowledged. LET US HEAL IT!LET US HEAL IT!

Step 2: Are you an emotional eater?Step 2: Are you an emotional eater?

THERE is a huge difference between eating for pleasure and emotional eating.

Eating is a primal instinct. We must eat to survive and when we are really hungry,

eating is incredibly pleasurable; it's natures way. The bliss of satisfying a hunger;

the delight of good tasting food.

However, there is a difference between eating because we are hungry andHowever, there is a difference between eating because we are hungry and

eating to alter a mood or create a feelingeating to alter a mood or create a feeling.

Let's be clear: Emotional Eating is when we use food to change our feelings from

bad to good, to soothe ourselves. Moving momentarily to a place of instant

gratification or false contentment. In short, eating to change our feelings is

emotional eating or eating your feelings.

Emotional Eating Explained

To identify whether you are emotionaleating, ask yourself the followingquestions:

Do you eat when you’re not hungry or when you’re full up?Do you eat when you’re not hungry or when you’re full up?

Do you eat to feel better?Do you eat to feel better?

Do you eat to soothe yourself or to move a negative feelingDo you eat to soothe yourself or to move a negative feeling

out of your way?out of your way?

Do you eat when you're bored?Do you eat when you're bored?

Do you eat for excitement and Do you eat for excitement and variety?variety?

Do you eat to feel secure and content?Do you eat to feel secure and content?

Do you experience a sense of relief while eating?Do you experience a sense of relief while eating?

Do you eat to relax?Do you eat to relax?

Do you continue to eat even when full - until a certainDo you continue to eat even when full - until a certain

feeling is obtained?feeling is obtained?

Do you eat or reach for food straight after a stressful event?Do you eat or reach for food straight after a stressful event?

Emotional Eating Test

Have you answered yes to any of the questions above? If you have then there's no doubt

that you are emotionally eating - it may be some of the time or a lot of the time...

It is so important to remember the following:

REAL HUNGERREAL HUNGER comes on a person GRADUALLY GRADUALLY, and will be satisfied by a variety of

foods of your choice.

EMOTIONAL HUNGEREMOTIONAL HUNGER comes on SUDDENLYSUDDENLY, is usually accompanied by cravings for

specific high calorie foods and will not be satisfied with anything else. Have you ever

longed for your guilty pleasure - be it chocolate cake, chocolate chip ice cream,

doughnuts or chips and no other food would satisfy that longing? It is so important

when this longing comes on, to pause and ask yourself - am I hungry? Or am I searching

for a certain feeling?

Emotional Eating

Step 3: Getting to know 'you'Step 3: Getting to know 'you'

Ok, you should now be able to identify if you are using food to change your

emotional state. You will probably have some idea of the eating behavior that

you engage in.

What do you do now?What do you do now?

The task is to understand what emotions and events are driving this eating

behaviour. In order to do this It is essential that you understand your internal

world of emotional patterns and triggers.

As human beings, we all have a natural reaction to emotional pain and that is to

move away from it and fast... In fact it is so fast that you don’t even recognise

you are doing it.

Emotional Patterns

Our brains jump into action to protect us by employing our defence system. The

main job of the defence system is to keep us safe from pain, ie difficult feelings.

However sometimes this can work against us, when it is necessary to look at the

pain straight on, in order to heal those difficult and destructive emotions.

Below are some of the usual defence mechanisms that we employ when we are

dealing with challenging feelings or situations:

Defend Defend or attack: or attack: Do you get defensive and blame others, attack verbally or

emotionally?

Finding the positive: Finding the positive: Do you look for the positive immediately? Seek out the

silver lining? Do you get emotional leverage from this and move on?

Playing small:Playing small: Do you feel sorry for yourself and look for help beyond

yourself? Do you play the victim telling everyone about your hard life and

poor circumstances?

Blaming yourself: Blaming yourself: Do you blame yourself - saying 'oh if only I could be

stronger, more disciplined'.

Rationalise: Rationalise: Do you make the problem easier by understanding it in relation

to others and the 'norm' or specific stories.

Do any, or all of the above apply to you?

Are you able to recognise the defences you employ? This is really important for

you to understand so you will see clearly what those defences are, and push past

them.

Why? When a feeling isn't fully understood or processed it often returns again

and again. It is imperative then to see past your defences and allow this difficult

feeling in, so you can process it once and for all.

If we allow our defences to keep the feeling away we can get stuck in a minefield

of blame and attack (or any of the other defence mechanisms alluded to) for

weeks, months or even years. When we are stuck in this place we often use food

to soothe ourselves.

Taking ownership of our feelings is the first vital step to managing our emotions.

Identifying your Identifying your difficult feelings:difficult feelings:

When we are trying to understand ourselves it is essential to pay attention to our

'triggers'. They show themselves in certain situations - usually scary or stressful

predicaments. FOR example say you, like the majority of the population, are

terrified of public speaking. Any time you stand up to speak, in front of even a

few people, your voice shakes, your heart thumps hard and you don't deliver...

The situation here that triggers you is 'public speaking' so generally you will

avoid this difficulty as best you can.

There are many situations that set off our triggers. It could be the noise of the

kids, a messy house, your bossy manager, the bills arriving. Whatever it is, get to

know the cause of your 'triggers'. Knowing the root of the problem is the first

step to fixing it.

Let's take this one step further. What are the feelings driving the triggers?

Reflect on this because Identifying the associated 'feelings' is crucial to

controlling them thus empowering you to direct your life and unhinge those one

off triggers or situations for once and for all.

In the public speaking example above we could say that the underlying 'feeling'

driving the 'panic' experienced, was one of 'self doubt' and/or 'fear of

judgement' from the audience. No matter what the related 'feelings' are - they

will show up and hinder you every time until you acknowledge and rescue them

thus giving you back control of your life.

What particular feelings do you have, that you don't like?Add to the list below as

you see fit.

Fear - Anxiety - UncertaintyFear - Anxiety - Uncertainty

Sadness - Depression - UnhappinessSadness - Depression - Unhappiness

Angry - Annoyance - FuryAngry - Annoyance - Fury

Now ask yourself - do I feed any of these feelings?

You may not have the answers now but I encourage you to reflect over theYou may not have the answers now but I encourage you to reflect over the

coming days and make a note when you find yourself avoiding or skippingcoming days and make a note when you find yourself avoiding or skipping

over certain feelings.over certain feelings.

Step 4: Learning to let the hurt and pain in.Step 4: Learning to let the hurt and pain in.

OK, so you are probably saying at this stage, that you know why emotions and

food are connected. Which feelings you hate and you are now aware of which

feelings you are feeding...

NOW WHAT? How do I stop eating my feelings?

The human condition is to feel, there is no getting away from this fact. Everyday

brings with it moments (or hours) of feeling bad, tired, down, hurt, upset; right?

Why do we feel these negative emotions?

Your emotions are your guide. They are your internal signposts and they are

stimulating you for a very good reason. They want you to listen, to stop and let

them in.

Emotional Mastery

When we feel the bad ones coming on, we usually turn away from them. We

obstruct them using consumption of some sort; in this case food.

""The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know howThe main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how

to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds ofto handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of

consumption".consumption". Thich Nhat Hanh"Thich Nhat Hanh"

If you can learn to heed your emotions as a signal that something needs your

attention, you will build up a confidence that will allow you to attend to your

feelings quickly.

The word emotion is self explanatory - coming from the Latin root 'emovere' - 'e'

meaning 'out' and 'motion' meaning 'to move'. This suggests then, that an

'emotion' must be fully felt, if it is to 'move out' and 'away'.

In short a feeling must be accepted into our bodies, felt, acknowledged, allowed

to rise inside us and it will then fall away.

You must get comfortable feeling uncomfortable!You must get comfortable feeling uncomfortable!

There are no shortcuts, no easy way through. But don't panic... START with the

small emotions, the little daily irritants. For example: you are agitated and angry

at the behaviour of a work colleague or your friend. So what do you do to resolve

this issue? You must acknowledge that you are roused by the behavior, let the

feeling in, sit with it until you fully feel it, and it will fall away; dissolve.

You must repeat this practice at every opportunity so you become apt at

addressing your bad feelings. Allow them to wash in and become the observer of

your internal world. Your mind will try to rationalise and reason with the feelings

but if you can stay focused and set your mind aside for this period - you will be

one step closer to managing your emotions.

What we resist persists! What we resist persists! Your feelings will ask to be heard first and then they

will demand it. Practice allowing them in, at the first instance or risk becoming

overwhelmed by the build up

Step 5: Heal Yourself! Step 5: Heal Yourself! Learn to manage all of your emotions within...Learn to manage all of your emotions within...

The first step to 'soothing a feeling' is to understand how you respond to

yourself when those negative emotions take hold and you are having a bad day.

Stop and listen to how you speak to yourself, about yourself...

Are you harsh with yourself? Do you use phrases like “I am too emotional", or "I

am overreacting again", or “I can't handle anything"? Most of us beat ourselves

up on the inside and so we remain stuck there; damaged.

The Buddha said 'Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your ownThe Buddha said 'Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your ownunguarded thoughts'.unguarded thoughts'.

Emotional Management

I urge you to take a few moments right now and reflect on your internal dialogue.

I cannot emphasis enough the importance of this reflection and the necessity of

practicing daily.

Become your own observer and make regular notes of the inner chatter.Become your own observer and make regular notes of the inner chatter.

Our internal dialogue is often set down in childhood. The way your caregivers

handled your emotions will have a huge bearing on how you manage them

today.

If we treat ourselves badly during a difficult time it actually heightens the struggle

that we are experiencing. This pushes us to soothe or fix these emotions as

quickly as possible with outside consumption and in this case it is 'food' - a fast,

accessible and acceptable 'fix'.

Ask yourself, - if someone was standing next to me and supplying the same - if someone was standing next to me and supplying the same

negative put downs and commentary to me about me, how would I feel?negative put downs and commentary to me about me, how would I feel?

I'm guessing you'd feel hurt and offended and you'd probably walk away.I'm guessing you'd feel hurt and offended and you'd probably walk away.

So why do we allow ourselves to beat ourselves up on the inside?So why do we allow ourselves to beat ourselves up on the inside?

Become your own best friend.Become your own best friend.

How do you treat your best friend (or someone who is very close to you) when

they are feeling down or dealing with something very difficult? Do you shout and

tell them how silly they are? Or do you say "It will be ok, it always works out, and

you know that I am here for you?"

The internal dialogue creates an inner emotional state. Speaking to yourself in a

soft and gentle way soothes your emotional wellbeing and helps you weather the

difficult feeling or situation.

When a negative feeling rises, learn to talk to yourself like you would yourWhen a negative feeling rises, learn to talk to yourself like you would your

best friend.best friend.

How? Practice soothing yourself with words that feel familiar to you. These words

should have emotional content or value to you. That means that you should feel

stirred emotionally by the words you choose.

Write your own script in words that are meaningful and emotive to you and

repeat it to yourself - like an affirmation.

Soothing TechniqueSoothing Technique

There are many methods to soothing yourself and one of the easiest ways is to

visualize hugging yourself. If you can find a quiet and comfortable private place

all the better and if not, don't worry - just close your eyes and practice the

visualisation.

Use the script that you prepared and say it to yourself internally. If you are alone

you can say it aloud.

This may feel strange and awkward at first, or even very funny and your mind will

try to persuade you to stop. But remember there's tremendous healing in this

practice. Learning how to soothe a feeling takes regular practice and I encourage

you to make self-soothing a daily ritual and you will reap the benefits.

You will find that this self-soothing method will allow the emotions in and they

will rise and be processed and soothed. They will then fall away without a fight,

thus stopping the need for eating for comfort.

Step 6: Letting go of emotional eating by finding a positive alternative.Step 6: Letting go of emotional eating by finding a positive alternative.

Ok, by now you hopefully know which feelings you want to process and be free

of. You have learnt to pacify these feelings and you are closer to managing your

emotions without food.

The next vital piece of the puzzle is to take control of the cognitive hard wiring;

the habitual behaviour.

Why? Because every behaviour that has been repeated and rewarded with

positive emotions, gets stuck in our brains and repeats itself as a habit. This has

got to be undone and replaced with a new pattern. Therefore if you have

developed a habit of feeding your emotions you must do the work to undo the

behaviour - there's no shortcuts.

Breaking Free

Did you know that is can take between 28 and 66 days to undo a habit?Did you know that is can take between 28 and 66 days to undo a habit?

In order to unhinge a habit, you have to complete a series of steps and repeat

over and over, until you have learned a new pattern. Just practice and fail,

practice and fail... until you get enough traction for it to stick.

The steps below will help you identify what needs changing and how to set up a

new habit.

1. Identify specifically what you want to change.

2. Link lots of pain to the old habit.

3. Find an alternative way to react to and replace the old pattern.

4. Practice and list the pleasures of being free of the burden of the old pattern.

5. Don't doubt your decision to change!

Below I have given you an explanation and example of each step.

1. What are your trigger feeling(s) or events?1. What are your trigger feeling(s) or events?

What are the specific feelings or events that create emotional disturbance foryou?

Example: Sadness

What is your old pattern when dealing with this feeling?What is your old pattern when dealing with this feeling?

How do you normally deal with this feeling or event?

Example: Move sadness on by creating happiness in eating …. Book a lovelymeal with your partner.

What pain does the old pattern give you?What pain does the old pattern give you?

This is a really important part of breaking the habit. List, in great detail, the painthat the old pattern gives you.

Example: Using food as a source of happiness made you eat when you're nothungry and gain weight, this in-turn made you feel terrible about yourself andlowered your self esteem.

How can you internally soothe this feeling?How can you internally soothe this feeling?

Set up a new script for how you can help yourself console this feeling.

Example: Visualise hugging yourself and repeating the affirmation - "It is ok,sadness will pass, all is well, all manner of things are well".

What alternative pleasure can you set up as a What alternative pleasure can you set up as a way to move and deal with theway to move and deal with the

trigger feeling?trigger feeling?

Remember the pleasure has to be equal or better than the food fix to replacethe habit.

Example: Set up a 'non food' related, happy thing to do - like geocaching,outdoor adventures, going for a swim, or an hour with a good book etc...

Replacing a habit takes effort. Your job is to decide if you want the change morethat you want the food. If your need for change is great you will find yourselfmoving to action swiftly. If not I suggest you take a look at how much you reallywant to change your eating behaviour and tease it out, you won't regret it.

I was stuck where you are for years and years and I am free now. I promise you, ifI can do it, you can too.

You will know by now, through the information in this e-book that emotional

eating has very little to do with food and everything to do with emotions and

emotional mastery.

The steps to unlocking emotional eating are :

1. Understanding how emotions and food are connected.

2. Testing yourself - are you an emotional eater?

3. Understanding your emotional patterns.

4. Learn to master your emotions and develop new patterns.

5. Learn to manage and soothe your emotions internally.

6. Implementing change: develop and practice the new patterns/habits until

they are second nature to you.

One thing I know for sure is that, once you combine emotional intelligence and

emotional mastery you will free yourself from emotional eating. Following the six

steps will help you to do this. Releasing yourself from emotional eating allows

those extra pounds to dissolve with ease. No crazy diets, no expensive monthly

subscriptions, just real and lasting change.

This is my wish This is my wish for YOU ...for YOU ...

With power and positivityWith power and positivity

Shauna xShauna x

Conclusion

We at wellnesswellnessseeker want to take this opportunity to thank you all so much for

downloading and reading our book. We know your time is precious and we value

each and every moment you share with us.

This book has been written with the soul purposesoul purpose of propelling you forward on

your wellness journey.

Our passion is your wellbeingOur passion is your wellbeing

We hope that you have found it useful and will use it as an ongoing resource.

We want our material to be accessible to everyone so please feel free to share...

If you have any questions connect with me on Facebook

Shauna,

wellnessseeker Founder

This book has been edited by Jackie McLaughlin. Connect with her HERE

Thank you!Wellnessseeker

Shauna Quigley