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34 Pure Inspiration

©istockphoto.com/Ramona Heim

Em po w e r i n g

K i d s b yM a u r e e n

H e a l y

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Empowerment 101Being able to recognize an opportunity toempower a child takes awareness. I believe par-ents need to decide to make every interaction asimportant and powerful as possible. Children sodeeply want, need, and wish to feel fully sup-ported here on earth—and it’s up to you to real-ize that you are the perfect person in the perfectplace at the perfect moment to do it.

Learning to empower children isn’t compli-cated. It really takes the same effort you apply toany goal with enthusiasm, dedication, and a will-ingness to “set aside” your own ego, emotions,and limited thinking. A child so wholeheartedlywants to believe that his or her dreams can cometrue, so it is up to us, the adults, to support thisnotion (whether it makes sense to us or not!).

Like little Joe, age three, who told me he isgoing to be a spaceship repairman. I said, “GOFOR IT.”

As you gather your emotional and mentalforces to focus upon empowering your child orchildren, there are two techniques that can helpyou consciously empower them. They are:

• Mirroring – It is the process of serving asthe reflection of a child’s abilities, skills, andqualities, so they begin to “see” themselves asthey really are—highly valuable, talented, andcapable right now.

Owen’s father (from above) mirrored toOwen his creative strengths. The effect wasnearly immediate as you could see Owen feelingmore positive and confident.

• Encouragement – It is the act of literally“putting in courage” or belief in your child.Such support enables them to “see” themselvesas they are—skilled, competent, and ableright now .

Madeline, age six, recently had her trainingwheels taken off. She was excited and terrified.

Her mom, Sam, came to her side and said, “Youcan do it! I believe in you,” and with a littlepush, she did it! Such words of encouragementmade all the difference.

Encouragement and mirroring may seemextremely simple to you. I agree. I also believethat many things are simple, but not always

easy. For example, riding 100 miles on yourbicycle is conceptually easy, but the practicebecomes a whole lot harder.

Empowering WordsWords have power. Selecting just the rightwords and saying them to your child with mean-ing and enthusiasm can fuel his or her best life.Mother Teresa captured this sentiment when shesaid, “Kind words are short and easy to speak,

but their echoes are truly endless.” I know thisto be true.

One event stands out in my mind. In 1998, I

was at a fancy dinner with my father, overlook-ing the Grand Canyon. He leaned over the tableand said, “You are my biggest accomplish-ment!” I was surprised and delighted. He passedon later that year, but his words still sing inmy soul.

Children are the same. They listen with theirminds and hearts to every word their parents,caregivers, teachers, and friends say. Words shapetheir world. Selecting just the right words and saying them to your child has the power tostrengthen them , and in today’s world, every childneeds to be strong from the inside out.

More specifically, I believe words spoken withthe intention to instill a greater level of confi-dence, courage, self-trust, optimism, and connec-tion are essential words of empowerment. And tohelp you, the interested adult, I have included mydefinition of such inner qualities along with sam-ple sayings below to get you started.

A child so wholeheartedly wants to believethat his or her dreams can come true , so it is

up to us, the adults , to support this notion.

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Sample SayingsThese sample sayings are excerpted frommy upcoming parenting book, 365 Perfect Sayings , published by Greenleaf BookGroup. The book was designed to help thebusy adult say just the right thing to his orher child to empower them.

Such sayings, I assure you, were writtenafter years of study and practice bringing outthe best in children worldwide. My travelshave taken me to faraway places as remoteas the base of the Himalayas (in the middleof winter!). So my child developmentexperience is global, but my approach ispersonal—I really care.

I want you to become adept at empower-ing your child. This means focusing upon

developing the five inner qualities that facili-tate a child to feel empowered, and they are:

• Confidence – An ability to extend belief in oneself. A confident child believes that heor she can do it...and wins the spelling bee!

• Courage – An ability to be strong fromthe inside out. A courageous child displaysstrength to face new situations, such as jumping off the diving board for the firsttime!

• Connection – An ability to relate to self

and others. A connected child values rela-tionships and seeks to make friends (i.e.,imaginary, real, pen pals, self-journaling).

• Self-Trust – An ability to extend faith inone’s self. A child displaying self-trustbelieves and relies upon his or her self (i.e.,inner feelings, thoughts, senses) to guide theway...and pick what color to paint the bird-house!

• Optimism – An ability to look at thepositive side of life. An optimistic childtends to look for the “good things” in asituation and laughs easily.

Each of these inner qualities by itself hasthe potential to propel a child’s healthyexpansion; however, when nurtured in tan-dem, the sum of the empowered whole is fargreater than the sum of the parts!

Selecting just the

right words and

saying them to your

child has the powerto strengthen them,

and in today’s world,

every child needs to

be strong from the

inside out.

©istockphoto.com/ Olga Solovei

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More About SayingsEach saying here was crafted to be playful and pur-poseful in guiding your child to feel more capable,confident, strong, connected, and positive about hisor her self now .

Such affirmations become increasingly potentwhen said with sincere enthusiasm, and their consis-tent repetition will help to pave positive pathways in

your child’s growing mind.

As you continue to further harness the power of affirmations to support your child’s healthy mind,body, and spiritual development, I have a few recom-mendations. First, the more you can create a “habit”of utilizing positive affirmations in your life, the moreit becomes a fun family habit. You can create a“Sayings Time” every day or week that is solelyfocused upon using the power of the word—playfullyand purposefully.

Second, I am a big fan of personalizing sayings.Tweak one of the affirmations from the chart or createa completely new one that holds significance for yourchild right now. For example, I created one titled“Bubble Up” that helped my client, Owen, age three,put an invisible bubble of protection around him, sohe could feel strong in preschool. It was both a power-ful and practical solution.

Third, I want you to “pay attention” to how affir-mations seem to influence your child. Does he or she

smile right away? Are they more powerful in conjunc-tion with music? Is it a spark for them? Can theycreate their own? Does a repeated affirmation createa visible difference? Consider this a challenge fromme to you.

Last But Not LeastHave fun empowering your child or children! Ibelieve it’s a process that has the potential to changethe world, really. As more and more kids live from aplace where they believe anything is possible, thatthey are strong right now, and that their dreams cancome true, the world will be transformed. And asMarianne Williamson stated, “There is no single effortmore radical in its potential for saving the world thana transformation of the way we raise our children.”

Quality Saying

Confidence Think You CanIf you think you can, you can. If youthink you can’t, you are right, explainedHenry Ford. A secret to success in life isBELIEVING you can do it. I certainlybelieve you can!

Courage Heart-to-HeartPlace your hand over your heart and say,“I am strong,” and feel it ever long! Soanytime you need this INNERSTRONG, place your hand on yourheart and BOOM—there it is.

Connection TogetherWe are all in it together. So help yourfriends too—teach them to paint abirdhouse, sing a little ditty, or smile

real pretty. Learning together makesyou birds of a feather!

Self-Trust Only YouYou are here to do what ONLY YOUcan do. You fill a place that only youcan fill. Enjoy being fully andcompletely YOU. WAHOO!!!

Optimism Happy SurprisesSay “Happy Surprises Come to Me” inthe morning and see what happens allday. Happy things are sure to find youin all sorts of unexpected ways!

Maureen Healy is the founder of Growing Happy Kids, a worldwide organization dedi-cated to bringing the best minds of our timetogether to grow happy children. She canalso be found online with a PsychologyToday Blog, as well as being a frequent guest speaker. Her upcoming book, 365 PerfectSayings , will be available online as well as ina store near you. To learn more, visit www.growinghappykids.com.

As more and more kids live from a place where they

believe anything is possible , that they are strongright now , and that their dreams can come true ,

the world will be transformed.