22. THE EVOLUTION OF LIFE (Globalization in Telangana)
23. THE FIFTH SUITOR
24. DEVASTATION AND PEACE
25. HELPING HAND
26. THE ALLIANCE
About the Author
About the Translator
Our Publications by the same Author
TELANGANA STORIES
B.S.RAMULU
MY WORD...
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NAGASHALA
(History has many definitions and interpretations. Somesaid that history deals with kings. Some others said that it dealswith social relationships, the changes observed in the society,its culture and the development of science. E.H. Kar, a histo-rian, opined that history is the continuous dialogue betweenthe historical truths as well as the social changes of the pastwith the future. Histories have been written keeping in viewthese and other such definitions. Rahul Samkrutyayan in hisbook “Olga se Ganga” wrote history in the form of stories.Inspired by the example of Rahul Samkrutyayan, an attempthas been made in this story to depict the life of the Telugupeople during the period starting from the last century of theSatavahanas to the end of the seventh century A.D. whichperiod has been left blank by historians.)
In a thick forest a narrow foot-path. The gurgling noiseof a mountain stream at a distance. A little farther away ahamlet. Nagashala was lying under a fig tree. He had tied twohorses to another fig tree. Nagashala recollected his mother,his house, his village and the kingdom to which he belongedas he rested under the tree. His companion and close relative,Elanaga was sleeping listlessly at the base of a tree as he suf-fered from diarrhea for two days. His white clothes had turnedbrownish and looked soiled.
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It was more than a year and a half since they left homeon a tour of the country. They were eager to keep movingaround for another year or two. They had started out to goround places to gain knowledge about the ways of the life ofpeople, about arts and educate themselves as princes do.Nagashala’s mother, Nagaputri who herself belonged to theroyal family, inculcated in the mind of young Nagashala in-terest in warfare and in visiting countries. His father Nagapalaencouraged his son to learn about shastras and great arts –Elanaga who was the son of Nagapala’s sister had developedgreat liking for trees and agriculture. The two young men werean inseparable pair.
Nagapala had given the young boys a clear idea aboutthe difficulties they would face while on tour and gave themwords of courage. The two were meticulously following allthe instructions given by their elders at the time of biddingthem farewell and were taking the precautions needed. Theycould gain the experience of twenty years in their wanderingsof eighteen months. They who started on foot could now man-age to possess horses.
In their travel they passed through huge forests and facedmany wild animals, crossed streams and rivers and met manytribes as well as people. They observed many others going incarts to unknown destinations. In their difficult journey, onlytwo things gave the young men some solace and happiness.The first was their acquaintance with Anandabuddah. The sec-ond was their meeting in Kotilingala, the capital ofSatavahanas, people called Telangulu who had migrated fromthat place long ago and who spoke in their language givingthe travellers an account of the details of themselves and theirplace. How many times their capital city Kotilingala was swept
away in the furious floods of the great river Godavari! Theyoung men experienced extreme happiness as if they had mettheir kith and kin when they came across the Talangulu speak-ing their language. They had left their place because of thefloods and settled elsewhere. The two young men had in theirpossession the coins of Greek, Roman, Magadha, Gandhara,Chinese and Satavahana kingdoms which speak of the glo-ries of the past. Their parents had given them the coins whichthey themselves had preserved with great care. The boys weretold not to exhibit them or sell them unless their need wasvery great to use them. The coins almost looked alike.
Nagashala sighed, greatly tired and dejected. How strangewas this world! How difficult it is to understand human mind!It was not known when a man would die during these travels…… because of the wild animals, decoits or because of afight with the tribes or owing to fatal fevers. Yet why doesman have such greed for wealth, love of culture and the past?
The language of the forest folk was not known. Thepeople were also not known. These foresters may hunt andkill the strangers they meet as they do the animals. Among thefruits and roots some may be harmful, even poisonous. Elanagacame close to death by eating them to experiment, to test thefruits.
It was not known where a path would lead to or where itwould end. There was also the fear that the foresters may pre-tend to be showing them the way only to sacrifice them totheir deities. The Buddhists who keep wandering were theonly reliable ones. There were no settled hamlets or villages.Nagashala was at a loss to know why his father hated theBuddhists who were good. He remembered the moralizingmade by his father. His father desired for something. Some-
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thing else happened to them.
“Nagasa! Our family belongs to a noted race. Many kings,queens, business magnates, Buddist Bikshus, Brahmins andothers appreciated our work. In your travels keep meeting thebikshus also along with the people. You must win their appre-ciation also. But remember, do not get into any king’s courtthough you are offered a high place. For artists freedom istheir life. The mean comforts the kings enjoy are got by squeez-ing the people dry . That is the reason why your mother theprinces, left behind her royal comforts and the palace, lovedme and came away with me in disguise. Then we left thatkingdom, went round many other kingdoms and finally settledin this place. When you were young, Akasaraju carried awayyour sister whom he met while he was hunting and made herone of his queens. Then we left that kingdom also as we felthumiliated. Your mother left me and went away to some placethree years ago to take revenge on him. In your travels keepan eye on mother also and try to find her whereabouts. Thereis every possibility of your mother living where a woman rulesa kingdom. After mother left I came to this place with you. Allmy hopes are centred on you.”
“Nagasa! Do not take a vow like your mother. Don’t getinto argument and wager with kings and enlightened persons.Even if they win or lose they will be angry with you. Theywill try to kill you to take revenge. Move forward smoothlywithout getting yourself involved in knotty situations.
“Nagasa! Keep a distance from the Buddists. They willpoison your mind telling you strange things. They will con-vert you also into a Buddist Bikshu. Of the eight children wehave, after your sister went away, you are the only one left tous. If you join the band of Buddist Bikshus, our family will
end with you. I cannot think of that situation. If you get con-verted into a biskhu the art which we had developed over allthe earlier generations will end with you. So, if you happen tomeet the Buddists, try to avoid them. They will try to deceiveyou saying they have powers and mantras which they wouldmake you learn and master. They will ask you to become theirdisciple. Beware of that.”
“Nagasa! You may not know what kind of a town youreach. Respect their women as your mother. The gold coinsof Sinuka Maharaja given to me by my grandfather at thetime of his death and the coins of Maladu, the Greeks andRomans should be taken out by you only when in times ofdanger and in need.”
What his father had told him he liked but did not knowwhy his father hated to such an extent the Buddists and Bud-dhism. What a great and commendable thing it was that theywere giving knowledge and medical help to the warring andkiller tribes in the forests! If there was peace, how easily andgreatly arts develop and grow! Nagashala did not know whyhis father hated the Buddists who were good. He wanted toknow the reason in the beginning itself and journeyed towardsSriparvatham (Nagarjuna Konda) which was known as a greatcentre for learning.
After reaching that place enlightenment dawned on them.They thought that it was their fortune in meeting“Anandabuddha” guru. Anandabuddha acquainted them withmany languages, ideas, culture, arts and mentalities. Theystayed there for ten months, went round places for four moremonths and went back to their guru. Anandabuddha explainedto them the greatness of Acharya Nagarjuna. Nagashala wasenraptured and excited. He asked Anandabuddha to take him
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into Buddhism. Elanaga was eager to go back home and tellhis people what all they learnt during their travels.Anandabuddha gently refused to take him in.
“Nagashala! First complete your journeys and travels asinstructed by your father and receive his blessings. Stay athome for some time. Then inform your father about your de-cision. If you still feel that you should become a bikshu makeyour father accept your decision. If you happen to meetBuddists in your wanderings, move along with them. Goodwill befall you.”
The two youngmen learnt some words of Prakaruta, Pali,Sanskrit, Pyshachi, Chinese and some other local languages.They felt glad and happy to have gone first to Sriparvatham.They then moved towards the north on their second journey.
• • • • • •
Nagashala heard the footsteps of a woman and openedhis eyes. She was going towards the stream carrying a pot. Heclosed his eyes. He had disturbed sleep in the night becauseof mosquitoes. He heard a noise again and sat up. The samewoman whom he saw earlier returned after her bath and wasquenching the thirst of Elanaga pouring water into his mouth.Nagashala greeted her. She asked him something which hedid not understand. After some time he realized that she wasspeaking in Pysachi language. His grandfather was well-versedin Pysachi language! As Nagashala’s father changed placeshis own language changed. His mother had no knowledge ofPysachi language at all. But he had a smattering of the lan-guage.
Nagashala recollected Anandabuddha’s words thatGunadhya had collected the information about the changes in
human relationships and wrote a magnificent story in Pysachilanguage, thus according a literary honour to that languageand for this service he deserved to be remembered. Nagashalaonce again expressed his gratitude to the woman.
The woman told him that her name was Elanga and thatEluchi was her pet name. She told him that her house wasnearby and invited him to visit her house. Nagashala carriedElanaga on his shoulders and followed the woman. He re-turned later and took his horses back. Elanaga recovered inthree days. Eluchi had known the medication using herbs andleaves.
Eluchi was the fifth child of Mathanga. But she was theonly survivor. She had great interest in arts. She was also proudthat her father and mother were great artists. Naturally theirdiscussion turned to arts.
“My mother used to tell me that my father was a greatartist. It was said that he was an adept in making skins smoothand painting designs on them. Kings, queens and other wealthypersons were eager to buy these clothes which my father madeembedding diamonds and gold in their designs. They used toplace an order with him instructing that the model he pre-pared should not be given to others. They paid him heavilyfor his skill. My grandfather and great grandfather were greaterartists. The designs, ornaments and colours used in the cavesof Ajanta and Ellora were on the model provided by my greatgrandfather on skins. My grandfather had instructed his peopleto cremate him near these caves for that reason. His tomb isstill there,” said Eluchi. Her mother also endorsed Eluchi’swords.
“If we walk to that place it will take a day’s distance,”informed Eluchi. Nagashala and Elanagu were excited and
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wanted to visit the caves.”
“My father told me that he was trained by his father. Insome of the caves in Ajanta and Ellora, the figures weresculpted on the models prepared by my great grandfather”said Nagashala.
After a week Eluchi and her mother on one horse andNagashala and Elanaga on the other horse went to visit theAjanta and Ellora caves. Because of rain and utter darknessthey stayed on there. Their fifteen day acquaintance grew intofriendship and later into love between Nagashala and Eluchi.
Eluchi’s mother showed them a bush near a stream andsaid “when this girl’s father hid himself here for the skin ofcertain animals, a group of foxes attacked him and tore himinto pieces”. A cheetah was resting in the bush then. Eluchiobserved it and made a signal to her mother to strike the horse.When the horses bolted, the cheetah saw the deer and sprangtowards them.
Eluchi recollected with sadness her lover falling a preyto a cheetah when he was trying to hunt the deer for theirskin. Their marriage was scheduled to take place within a fewdays. “I was eagerly looking forward to get beautiful dressesof the deer skins from him but everything turned topsy turvy,”she said with tears.
• • • • • •
“Your skin clothes represent old culture. But clotheswoven using cotton are warm and they also absorb sweat andmake one feel comfortable” said Nagashala.
“Clothes made in yarn get wet in rain. Water cannot beheld in a bag made by cotton yarn. They get torn easily and
quickly. Moth will eat them. Leather does not make you wet.Mosquitoes can’t bite you if you cover yourself with leatherclothes. You can hold water in a leather bag. They last long.Those who cannot hunt and those who cannot make leathersmooth say that cotton fabrics are good. You are not to beblamed. It is these Buddists and Jains who have to be blamed.They talk of ahimsa – non-violence. They made our leatherclothing lose all its respect and value. They wear silk clothes.Does it not amount to violence on silk worms…….?” went onEluchi.
Elanagu felt that what Eluchi said was correct. Nagashalalost his temper when they both joined hands in the arguments.Nagashala’s anger reached its zenith when Buddhism wasfound fault with.
“Cotton fabrics are a symbol of culture. Kings, queens,business magnates, brahmins, bikshus and others use onlycotton clothes” said Nagashala to belittle Eluchi.
“It is our leather cloth that is saving your Buddist literatureand books. If you can prove that cotton cloth is superior toleather, we will give up our profession and our art” challengedEluchi.
“Come with us in our journeys, we will prove it in allkingdoms”, said Nagashala. Eluchi accepted the challenge.Her mother bade her good bye with tears. Eluchi sat behindElanaga on his horse. Nagashala felt that he faced defeat forthe first time in his life.
Eluchi’s mother grieved that the two whom she expectedto become close got separated because of their argument.
• • • • • •
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They gained many new experiences in Gandhara,Saptasindhu, Kashmiram and Himalayan regions. Nagashalarealised without any arguments that leather clothing andwoolen clothing alone will help in cold climates and not cot-ton clothing. While passing through the mountainous forestregions of Gandhara the horses could not make it. One of thehorses died of ill-health. The one alive was attacked and killedby a tiger. The forest brigands pounced on these three andother Buddhists, beat them up and left them penniless. TheBuddist Bikshus who met them later took the three, who werebleeding, to Takshasila.
Adeera Telanga, dressed in saffron robes, took care ofthem all. The Buddhist monks left Takshasila after a few days.Eluchi, Nagashala and Elanaga remained there for some moretime. Nagashala’s heart throbbed at Adeera who lookedresplendent like a lotus in her saffrons.
Adeera had always a smile on her face which Nagashalaliked. Adeera narrated many things that her ancestors, theTelangulu, were from their place, that a visit to China must bemade without fail. These words encouraged the young menfurther. Adeera also followed them.
• • • • • •
On their way to Tibet Nagashala recognizedAnandabuddha travelling with his disciples carrying volumesof books on twelve donkeys. He looked very old, his faceand body full of wrinkles. He appeared as if his mind andheart had fatigued. After greetings Anandabuddha recognizedthem.
“Nagashala! The Sriparvatha kingdom lost its luster.Others have occupied it now. The great educational centres
have gone dumb. Many disciples and bikshus have died. It isthe result of the ambition of your relation, Assaka Maharaja,to expand his empire. The kingdoms there are involved inmutual warfare and are in a chaotic state. It is not good foryou to go there now. Come with us to China. DammapalaBikshu will give us shelter. It is very important to save thesegreat books for the benefit of the future. Dammapala wants totranslate these books into Chinese.”
They all accompanied Anandabuddha to China.
• • • • • •
The Chines showed great respect to Talangulu because
of Anandabuddha.
Eluchi was very happy when she found the great story
written by Gunadhya in Pysachi language among the books
brought by Anandabuddha. Anandabuddha asked Eluchi to
learn Chinese and translate Gunadhya’s book into that lan-
guage. Adeera leant the Chinese language quicker than Eluchi.
The bikshus observed Adeera moving close to Nagashala and
conveyed it to Anandabuddha. He called Nagashala aside.
“Nagashala! I think your desire to become a Buddhist
bikshu has strengthened by your travels around countries.
Gandhara, Takshasila, Magadha, Pataliputra, Nalanda and
Sriparvatha should again regain their earlier glory. Bikshus
like you are the greatest need of the day to save and propa-
gate Buddhism throughout the world”, he said.
“Bhante! (Acharya) If you had taken me as a Buddhist
bikshu earlier when I requested you, my life would have been
different now. After I listened to you about the instability of
our kingdoms, I felt like putting aside the thoughts of those
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days. My travels have given me different experiences,” replied
Nagashala. Adeera was engaging his thoughts. The hopes and
ambitions of his parents recurred to him again.
He strongly felt that he should go back to his kingdomwithout delay.
Chill winds were blowing. Anandabuddha was shiveringin his saffron robe. Darkness was enveloping all round. Theneed for woolen and leather clothing was being felt.
“Nagashala! Desires are endless. That day I told you thatyou would understand the way of the world like Lord Buddhaby your travels and by your experiences would strengthenyour ambition to become a bikshu. Are you falling again intothe trap of desires?”
Anandabuddha stared serenely into the eyes ofNagashala. Nagashala experienced a light entering into himfrom the glow of Anandabuddha’s eyes and felt enraptured inevery pore of his being. “While not becoming a bikshu, areyou pulling down bikshu Adeera also into the family tangle?”asked Ananda’s eyes. Nagashala bent his head as though hehad done some wrong. He recovered after a while and re-quested Anandabuddha to clarify his doubt.
“Bhante! What is the duty you impose on bikshus to bringabout and establish peace and stability in a country for thepeople and for Buddhism! Is it migrating to other countries?Is that the solution?” he asked.
Anandabuddha was rattled at the question of Nagashala.He was shaken by a storm that arose in his mind. Adeera camethere then.
“The wind is very cold. The fire has been lighted. Please
come in”, she requested Anandabuddha.
The discussion stopped there. Anandabuddha walkedaway saying they could talk later. Nagshala followed him.
• • • • • •
Nagashala did not receive any response fromAnandabuddha for his question. He celebrated the marriageof Nagashala with Adeera and blessed them. They were liv-ing among bikshus. After some time Nagashala took leave ofAnandabuddha. Adeera, Elanaga and Eluchi followed him.
“I have faith in you. Also great hope. My good wishesand blessings are always with you” said Anandabuddha andbade them farewell. The bikshus walked with Nagashala forsome distance and returned with heavy hearts.
Within a year Nagashala and his three companionsconstructed a house by the side of a river in a great forest.Elanaga established an agricultural farm with his knowledgeof the art of cultivation and started giving instructions to thepeople living in nearby hamlets and villages. In a short time atownship developed there. Nagashala was recognized as a kingin course of time as he could successfully hit back thievesand robbers.
Nagashala was surprised and felt happy when he learntthat the neighbouring kingdom was ruled by a woman andthat his mother was the queen. Though his mother came toknow that Nagashala was her own son, she did not like tohand the kingdom over to her son as she had moulded it as akingdom of and for women. It was clear that a war was inevi-table. Her son-in-law, Assaka Maharaja was attacking her inorder to expand his kingdom. He was destroying Buddhistliterature, books, arts and the artists, considering them as his
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first enemies. In such circumstances Nagaputri, the queen,offered a peace proposal to Nagashala.
Nagashala sent his soldiers into the Assaka Kingdom indisguise first. The war commenced in the rainy season. Be-fore the season ended Assaka Maharaja was killed. The king-dom was occupied by Nagashala. Nagashala made Elanaguhis representative in the kingdom he won in the war. Eluchibecame the queen. Nagashala’s elder sister who lost her hus-band in the war, went to her mother seeking shelter.
• • • • • •
Many years passed, wars came to an end. Nagashala in-vited Anandabuddha and got educational institutions estab-lished. He invited artists from different kingdoms and coun-tries and honoured them by allotting lands to them, offeredprotection to them requesting them to settle in his kingdom.In a short time Nagashala’s kingdom attracted many othercountries and kingdoms. The son born to Nagashala andAdeera was named Nagapala after the child’s grandfather.
Nagapala, as he grew, developed great interest towardsart like his grandfather but neglected the kingdom. Nagashalawas deeply disappointed. Adeera appealed to her son to anointhimself as the prince. Nagapurti, his grandmother, tried herbest to impress upon the young man the need for him to bedeclared the prince. Nagapala did not heed anyone’s wordsand left on a travel around the countries. Nagashala grew old.The enemies who came from Magadha declared war.
Nagashala who was injured in the war was taken to thepalace. He was bleeding profusely. All his relatives, kith andkin, went to the palace. Elanaga went to the field taking upthe leadership of the war.
There were tears in the eyes of everyone. Eluchi was weep-ing. Nagashala called Eluchi to him and whispered something.She wiped her tears, went in and brought the skin of a blackbuck, a feather and some leafy liquid in a silver vessel.Nagashala told her to write what he said.
Nagaputri, his mother, had wanted to ask him a questionfor a long time but could not. She asked him now.
“Dear son! Nagasa! You started journeying thinking thatyou should become a great artist like your father. But how is ityou became a king?”
There was a glow in the eyes of Nagashala. He saw in hismind’s eye Anandabuddha.
“Mother! When I entertained an ambition that the worldshould recognize me, I thought I should become an artist.With the preaching of Anandabuddha I overcame the desirethat someone should recognize me. No. The thought dissolveditself. In the same manner the ambition to be known as anartist also disappeared. After father and you married, you bothleft the kingdom and moved from kingdom to kingdom be-cause of fear. Brother-in-law Assaka made knowledge and artcaptive. So I thought that I should capture a kingdom andrule. Mother! You know that where peace prevails and cropsgrow in plenty there all arts and education flourish. As I wasan artist, I desisted from becoming a Buddist monk and wantedto become a king. I am immensely satisfied that instead ofgrowing myself great alone, I gave shelter to many artists andmade them great. Nagapala also will come to such a decisionlike me while in his wanderings.”
Severe and continuous cough shook Nagashala. Aftersometime the eyes of Nagashala remained open. Nagaputri,
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2his mother and Adeera his wife, fell on his body in grief.
The last words of Nagashala to his mother were shiningforth on the black buck skin written down by Eluchi in themixed language of Pyshachi and Telanga. Gloom filled thepalace.
• • • • • •
Elanaga handed over the kingdom to Nagapala who re-turned after visiting many kingdoms gaining great experience.The Nagapala family which got its name from his grandfatheras a great family in history came to an end with the attacksfrom the eastern ghats. The descendants of Adeera and hermother speak gloriously of the Nagapala clan and about theTelangulu in Gandhara. People say that the history written inChinese by the disciples of Anandabuddha was left in Tibetand that the names got changed in course of time and gotmixed up with the history of Kashmir Kingdom.
Dalitha Jyothi (Monthly, December, 2001)
That’s Telugu Dot Com (December, 2002)
(With compliments to the famous historian B.N.Shastry)
FLOWERS OF THE NIGHT
“Annaiah! You lost much in your life because of yourideas. The light of your life seems to be moving towards thewest. Your friends stopped away long ago. They are enjoyingbenefits more than they deserve. What you have done so faris enough. It is the youth who have to do what you have yet todo. The youth will do it. You know that I do not live long.Won’t you fulfil my last wish?”
Prameela was sobbing….
Ramesh felt heavy at heart … His voice stuck.
There was silence in the hospital room…. Prameela wason the bed. Ramesh was sitting on a stool by her bed.
Ramesh wiped his sister’s eyes.
“Prameela! Don’t say so. You will certainly live.Despondency is not good. Self-confidence has the ability tocure diseases also.”
“Annyya*! Don’t change the topic. I know what all thedoctor told me. I am not worried about myself. It is aboutyou. You have sacrificed for me and for our family. You must
*Annaiah in telugu means elder brother. It is anaffectionate way of address.
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stop your sacrifices…”
“Pramee! Do you know that some stars show the way bytheir brightness when there is no moonlight? When there ismoonlight the stars are not seen. In the same manner someflowers blossom in the night and wither away and drop off bydawn. Some blossom in the morning and wither by afternoon.You don’t know how much I feel pained at your life, whichlighted three lives, getting snuffed out…. I don’t have time tothink about myself. I wish that time should pass off withoutbothering me.”
“Anna0yya! I have known what death is by being confinedto this bed for two months. I don’t have any worry about my-self. My mind is very calm and screne now. I am far youngerthan you. Yet I will ask you a question. Suppose you learnthat you were going to die this minute. What will you do? Dothat something now. The sacrifices you made and the ideasyou cherished should not punish you. That’s what you think!”
“Pramee! What’s meant by life? What’s the use of askingthis question when the entire life has been lived? This questiondoes not face us so long as we are alive. Is it not strange?”
“Pramee! Why do you feel sorry that I lost much in mylife and that my life went waste? That’s your idea … I receivedmore than what I lost in life. Your love for me is many timesmore than what I did. Give me the chance to feel satisfied thatI did not get defeated in life but that I gained high place inlife.”
"Annayya! If you utter such expressions I will not askyou anything." She stared into her brother's eyes. Her eyesbecame brimful with tears. Her eyelids dropped. Tears rolleddown her cheeks. Past memories flashed in her mind….
Will man envy the sacrifices which he does not like? Willthat envy manifest itself in pity and sympathy!
For the first time Prameela entertained a doubt. Her brotherRamesh had done much for the family. He did much for thesociety also. He took part in different types of movements.He led many movements being at the forefront.
As soon as a movement took a constructive shape hewould quietly get out of the competition for leadership.
It was not his nature to fight for a place in leadership. Itwas most natural for him to quit from the arena. He wouldthen make a path for himself to his own liking.
He did not like to win Rajyam in a contest. He felt itinfradig to win her hand by contesting for her love. Heconverted his love and liking for her into old indifference.Rajyam could not express her love. On the other hand shemurmured that 'annayya' stopped loving her. She found faultwith him. She said that she loved Lakshman who competedwith Praveen. She married Lakshman.
From then on Praveen lost all interest towards anycompetition including competitive examinations. He wassatisfied with the unexpected job he got and brought them upto a decent level.
• • • • • •
Her brother's words were echoing again and again in thedepths of her heart. She slept off for a long time.
It was night. She opened her eyes slowly.
Her brother was looking at her. He smiled on observinghis sister open her eyes. She picked up courage.
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"Annayya ….. you said you wouldn’t marry till I gotmarried. I got married. You again said that the younger sisteralso should get married. She too got married. She has nowtwo children. Everyone is afraid to ask you. Tell me, annaiah,why you are not marrying at all"
"Pramee! I don't think that marriage is the most importantthing in life."
"You gave up marrying talking of the marriages of yoursisters, the dowries, their deliveries and other expenses."
"It’s not like that"
"Are you disappointed that Rajyam whom you loved didn’t love you?"
"In the beginning I felt so. But now I am not angry withRajyam."
"Rajyam is feeling bad that you haven’t married so far."
"It will not my idea to pain her. But that doesn’t mean Icannot marry to make her feel happy."
"What do you want to achieve? Whom do you want totease?"
"What did you all think of achieving by marrying? Whatdid you achieve? In nature, all animals, birds and fish, everyliving creature is giving birth to their off spring. Is that whatyou achieved?"
"Annayya!… There is no world without births. You won’tbe there. I too."
"Is that the world?"
"No"
"If so, let me live according to my choice and liking."
Prameela became silent.
"Pramee! My ideas are keeping me alive. What you thinkI am doing for the society, is all being done for myself in fact.That is my happiness. Asking me to give up my ideas andideals is to wish my death and nothing else."
It was the first time for Prameela to argue so long withher brother. Perhaps it was also the last time! thought Prameela.She turned her eyes away.
The stars seen through the window were shining brightlylike the flowers of the night.
"Annayya! I achieved motherhood in my life. That’senough for this life."
Prameela closed her eyes wih satisfaction. Ramesh gentlypassed his hand on her head with great affection.
– Sunday, Vaartha
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3
PARASITES
“Aunty! In connection with your wedding day, mummyis arranging dinner for you all to-night. She wants you to invitea couple of your friends also.”
Soundarya had rented out that portion twenty days ago.Within these twenty days Sumitra had invited them for foodtwice. During conversation with Sumitra a week earlier shehad told her aobut their marriage day. Soundarya was tickledwith excitement when Sumitra reminded her son in the morningabout the occasion by remembering it. She had invited friendsand relatives for her marriage day. But Sumitra inviting themthrilled her.
Sumitra was living in that house on rent for a long time.The owners of the house had entrusted the responsibility ofthe second portion to her. The landlord lived in a differentcity. He came once in three months and collected the rent. Ifthere was delay in his coming Sumitra sends the draft to him.
Sumitra had two children. Her first son Rakesh was inIntermediate class. Vineeth, the second boy was in the tenthclass. Soundarya’s son Athul and Vineeth were classmates.Soundarya’s youngest son Hiran was in the eigth class.
“What a nice woman is Vadina*! she had invited us for
* Vadina is elder brother’s wife. It is nornmal for women to hit up relationship withneighbours whom they like.
dinner to night for our wedding day. She said that we couldget one or two of our friends also”, said Soundarya happily toher husband Srikanth.
“It’s not enough to know how to eat! One should knowhow to reciprocate also! Sumitra knows that art well”, repliedSrikanth smiling.
“Do you mean that I don’t know that much?” Soundaryapulled a long face.
“I don’t mean that. It would have been nice if you hadinvited them for our marriage anniversary a day in advance.”
In the meanwhile Bhukeswar, Sumitra’s husband walkedin.
“You all should have dinner with us to-night. Please invitefive of your close friends also. We have a camera. We cantake photographs. Please come home early from office,” hetold Srikanth and left.
Sumitra’s children were helping their motherenthusiastically as if it was the wedding day of their parents.Soundarya was over-whelmed with happiness after the dinner.She had not come across such affection before. Soundaryathanked Sumitra profusely.
Two months passed.
“The children and their father did everything. My husbandcooked the food himself. How do you like the taste of thechutney prepared by my eldest son?” asked Sumitra.
“What! Does Rakesh prepare the chutney so tastily! I mustget chutney made by him once in our house. My children donot help me at all,” replied Soundarya. Sumitra was surprisedthat in Soundarya’s words there was more of pride than
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disappointment about her children.
“Our children do all kinds of work willingly. They washthe clothes of their daddy. If I am sick they do the cookingalso. They don’t expect the neighbouring aunty or someoneto come and help in cooking,” explained Sumitra.
“You are luckly. Your children obey you. Our childrennever heed our words”, Soundarya expressed her sorrowtaking pride in her children’s behaviour.
Sumitra explained how children should be taught to dowork and how they should be made to love work. ButSoundarya was contradicting her at every step which madeSumitra impatient. She wondered what Soundarya’s idea was,whether she wanted her children to learn to do work or whethershe did not like her children to work at all. During the twomonths her children had become servants in Soundarya’shouse performing whatever she wanted them to do. Soundaryaused to get work done by her children talking to them lovinglybut in an authoritative manner. Her childrern’s study wasgetting disturbed.
“Mummy! Why does this aunty get work done by uswithout asking her children? Athul never keeps my companythough I ask him. The errands I do is for his mummy,”complained Vineeth to his mother. Sumitra did not know howto solve the problem. Her son was not ashamed of doing work.But he felt bad when he had to do the work of his classmate’smummy. Sumitra did not like to pick up a quarrel with thenew arrivals who had come only two months back. She wasworried at her children getting spoiled observing Soundarya’schildren. Soundarya was in the habit of complaining againsther children and also supporting them herself. Sumitra decidedto confront Soundarya.
“What exactly is your idea, Vadina? Do you want yourchildren to help you in your work at home or you don’t wantthem to work at all?” asked Sumitra point blank.
Soundarya was taken aback at such a direct manner ofSumitra’s question. Soundarya thought for a while. If she saidthat children should listen to parents, Sumitra may give alecture giving suggestions. If she said that they need not,Sumitra may attack that the children will grow fat without beinghelpful to society.
As her husband called her and asked her to bring water,she had to listen to what Sumitra had to say. Soundarya felt asif she was looking at herself naked in a mirror, hearing Sumitra.Sumitra’s casual remarks pierced Soundarya’s heart likearrows.
Soundarya had pestered Srikanth until he got separatedfrom his people. There were her husband’s sister who wasdoing P.G. course, her husband’s younger brother who was indegree class, mother-in-law who was an asthama patient anda hot tempered father-in-law. Taking care of all these peoplemeant bonded labour for her all her life. In the beginningSoundarya thought that working for five years in the nativetown will help them in saving house rent. But as they had tolive on her husband’s salary, she became a servant in her ownhouse. Everyone in the family demanded things from him justas employees make demands on the government. No onebothered about her desires and his needs.
If they had to spend lakhs of rupees as dowry for herhusband’s sister, they would have to live the life of slaves alltheir lives. She expected that the girl would love somebody inthe university where there were hundreds of boy students andelope with him. But the girl disappointed her.
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What a horrible family. What an awful house it was! Therewas never any joy or pleasure. She cursed herself and wishedthe death of the elderly people in an accident. She succeededin getting herself separated from the husband’s parents by atransfer and was now leading a free life.
“It’s not like that. I too think like annayya But I don’thave the art of talking to people sweetly like annayya. Annayyaspeaks very convincingly,” replied Soundaray changingquickly her expression from shocked embarrassment into asweet and joyous glint in the eye.
During the two months, Soundarya enjoyed thehospitality of Sumitra four times but she never once invitedSumitra for dinner. She suspected that this lapse must havemade them question her behaviour. She pretended great lovefor them saying “Annaiah! All of you should dine with us to-day.”
After great persuation Sumitra and Bhukeswar agreed.
Soundarya’s father suffered a paralytic stroke. If he takestreatment for two months and does physiotherapy exerciseshe may recover. Her brother and his wife visited their fatherand left without talking about medical expenses. Soundaryawent to her father, stayed there for a couple of days andreturned. By the time she came things were all pell-mell in thehouse.
The children had played video games and left things allover the house. Her husband was gasping having beaten themin anger and disgust. The children stopped crying and startedabusing. Sumitra’s husband and her husband were trying toplead with them to be calm. Sumitra’s children were observingthe strange scene with surprise.
“That dirty woman went away two days ago. Who willdo all the work here at home? This horrible man wants me todo all the work at home. He doesn’t cook for us but readsnewspapers. He can himself cook the food for us. Why doeshe ask me to do all this work? How affectionately parentsshould take care of their children? When they cannot be loving,why should they give birth to us? Those who cannot care fortheir children should die.” Athul, the eldest boy, was shouting.
Bhukeswar tried to prevent Athul from shouting more.Hiran was crying.
“Leave me alone uncle, or else you will lose respect. Thisson of an ass is my daddy! See, what I’ll do to him….” gaspedAthul imitating the poses of the heroes seen on the T.V Screen.
Soundarya could not control her anger on witnessing thescene. Hiran started using abusive words struggling to get freefrom the hands of Sumitra. Athul directed his anger againstSumitra now.
“Aunty! You are the reason for this quarrel. If you hadcooked food for us as mummy is not available, all this wouldnot have happened. The aunty who lived in the portion nextto ours in the previous house where we lived was a very goodwoman. If mummy went to her place, the aunty would preparebreakfast, tea and food and feed us on time. Your are … mostselfish … most miserly….”
Athul would have continued his string of abuses had notSrikanth his father pounced on him and hit him hard.
“Who is selfish? Should others come and serve you, youwho cannot cook for yourself? What are you doing to helpthe society and the world?” shouted Srikanth giving him ablow.
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“Annaiah, please stop. Why do you punish the boys whenyou could not bring them up properly teaching them self-help?You pampered your children. If you had created in themrespect for work from their childhood this situation would nothave arisen,” said Sumitra.
Soundarya felt hurt with Sumitra’s words and grewemotional and angry. ‘What will she lose if she cooked a littlefood for them? She can’t do that much help but moralises’ shemurmed throwing her suit case to the ground.
“If I cook for your children what I lose is self-respect.My children’s self-respect. Should your children sit and eatwhen my children cook for them?” asked Sumitra.
Athul grew courageous on seing his mother.
“Look, here mummy. She doesn’t want to cook for usbut wants to talk on morals,” shouted Athul.
Sumitra lost her temper, her patience deserting her. Shewent to Athul letting off Hiran and gave a few blows to Athulsaying “I haven’t seen such useless fellows like you.” Shecontinued.
“What did you say, you monkey face! You have grownfat like a he-buffalow. Can’t you cook your own food? ShouldI come and cook for you? Did you think I am your cook orservant maid? If I give you a blow on your cheek you’ll loseyour teeth, beware!” raved Sumitra in her anger.
Soundarya forgot all about her father who was bed-ridden. She started supporting her sons.
His mother’s support encouraged Athul furthur.
“Aunty! You bitch! Brute! You pig ….” He startedabusing Sumitra. It was then that Sumitra’s children entered
into the fray unable to contain themselves.
“You, rogue! Your mother is a bitch, not mine,” saidRakesh hitting Athul with all his strength. Bhukeswar tried tostop his son. Rakesh was overcome by emotion and startedabusing Athul and his mother.
The house looked like a battle field. After half-an hour,when emotions cooled down Bhukeswar explained toSoundarya why they had to interfere between the father andson. Sumitra also gave her version.
“I did not say I would not cook for your sons. I thoughtof helping them as it was only for two days. I told them that Iwould cook for them but wanted them to do some work in ourhouse. I asked them to work along with my children andobserve how my children cook food. I suggested that theycould clean the vessels and utensils and also carry water alongwith my children. Ask your son what reply they gave me.”
“Do you think that my sons are your servants?” askedSoundarya, taking her sons close to her.
“That’s exactly what your duds said to me. I told thenthat I was not their servant or a cook to cook for them. ThenI suggested to your husband that he himself should do thecooking and asked him why I should do it,” explainedSumitra.
“When they spend time eating and observe the cricketmatch on the T.V. and indulge in video games happily, shouldI coming from the office after my duty, cook for them?”Srikanth expressed his resentment.
“I feel like using the chappal against those who pretendfalse love and try to get service done for them freely as in
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bonded labour,” Sumitra glanced at Soundarya with a frownon her face.
Soundarya had imagined that Sumitra would volunteerto cook for her husband and children even if she stayed awaywith her father for a month or so. But the situation had takena different turn.
“It was our foolishness to have occupied this portionwithout an idea of the people living here. I will vacate theportion tomorrow” said Soundarya.
“You must tell in three months before you leave. Or youshould pay rent for three months. Even if you pay one paisaless you can’t take your samans out. I will see that you areserved with a legal notice,” was Sumitra’s retort.
Soundarya was taken aback at words Sumitra’s. She hadtaken her goodness as weakness. Should she live in that housefor three months? In those three months how many battlesshe may have to fight? Soundarya who had made peopleshiver where she lived earlier in other places now trembled.
Bhukeswar led his wife and children into his portion.“Why should people produce children when they did not knowhow to bring them up,” murmured Sumitra as she followedher husband.
After a week Soundarya received a telegram that herfather was seriously ill and asking her to start immediately.She broke down crying on receiving it.
“Don’t get upset. Your mother might have given thetelegram as you did not go back within two days as promisedby you.” Srikanth tried to give her courage.
“I will stay there for a month,” Soundarya begged her
husband for which he agreed.
She got ready with her clothes sufficient for a month’sstay. Athul observed his mother and snatched the suitcase fromher hand.
“What’s your idea? Do you want me to fail at my tenthclass exams? The old man will anyway die one day. Will youspoil my future? Who will do all the work here? If you are notpresent, daddy will beat us for not doing work properly.”
“Do you want my father to die? Should I stay herecooking for you?” shouted Soundarya beating him.
Athul suddenly attacked her and gave her a couple ofblows. She was stunned at what he did, not so much for thephysical pain but for his having lifted his hand against her.His daddy now gave him blows and Soundarya started crying.
Srikanth made Soundarya go assuring her that he wouldtake care of their sons.
• • • • • •
A telephone message was received by friend informingof the death of Soundarya’s father. Srikanth got ready to goimmediately.
Athul and Hiran were watching the T.V. Srikanth askedthem to get ready soon.
“Sorry daddy! The cricket match is in progress. And thenwe will miss the Dangerous Devil serial. We will cook forourselves. Or we will eat in the house of Satish. You bettergo” said Athul.
Srikanth was shocked. He wondered that they did notfeel pained at the death of their grandfather.
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“Orei! Your grandfather carried you on his shoulders andplayed with you. He presented you with a gold chain!” criedSrikanth feelingly.
“So what daddy! Grandfather who is dead will not knowthat we went to see him. You go!” replied Athul.
“I am terribly afraid of people who are dead. Willgrandfather, after his death, change as shown in the DangerousDevil serial?” asked Hiran with fear.
Grief ………. Anger……….
Andhra Bhoomi, 2001
RELATIONSHIPS
These days the auspicious time for celebrating marriagesis being fixed in the morning hours. This arrangement createsno problems for anyone. Bathing can be finished at home andlunch could be eaten immediately after the muhurtha, the aus-picious time, and leave for home. Conversation takes placeonly till the lunch is eaten. Later the marriage pandal is empty.
As the marriage was that of the daughter of the elderbrother by relationship, the acquaintance with old relativescould be renewed. So we woke up early, finished our bath,got ready quickly and boarded the bus. The journey on thesmooth black-topped road was pleasant. In olden days therewas no good road for the village from any side. In earlierdays by the time we reached the village holding the little fin-ger of grandmother, walking fast, which looked like running,at least one toe of the feet had to be treated with turmericpaste. Our bare feet got bruised by the pebbles and roughstones.
That village was my mother’s birth place. All my memo-ries of the village days are connected with that place situatedabout four kilometers from Jagityala. Now that village is thesecond stage on the route that passes through Chilavkoduruand Dharmaram to Peddapalli on the way to Godavari Khani.
As the bus passed the Lakshmipuram cross roads I re-
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married me. You have grown into a handsome man by eatingwhat I cooked tastily for you. How did you look like at thetime you came to see me for the marriage alliance? You werelike a dried up stick and a skeleton without flesh and blood.Take a look at your photograph in the album taken then foryour hall-ticket. You will recollect how you looked beforemarrying me” she taunts me.
How will anyone look before marriage? They only thinkof higher studies for the tomorrow and entertain ideals andambitions. How do you think my wife looked like before mar-rying me? She was skin and bones because of meager eating.She looked as though she was bedridden for a month and wasjust recovering. But she does not agree with the fact. “If I hadnot been beautiful how did you like me and marry me?” sheasks. She boasts that my own house, my education, childrenand our growth was all because of her and she says the creditgoes to her for our prosperity.
I might have said during one of our quarrels that myuncles and aunts were very good looking. Yet she started onthe journey with out saying “Is that so! They will all be therefor the wedding. I will see how good looking they are”.
May be because of my changing places as part of myofficial duties, or because our old relatives were confined tovillage life or migrations or because of non-coperation by mywife, for some such reason visits and return visits among ourrelatives did not take place over the years. Now this marriageprovided an opportunity to renew contacts.
The bridegroom worked in the Bhivandi textile mill. Thebride was my elder brother’s daughter. She stopped her stud-ies by seventh class and settled down as a beedi worker. Mybrother also had worked in Bombay and Bhivandi for twenty
membered that the people of our village complained that theywould lose their sites and lands if the Peddapalli road was laidin that route. So the road passed through Japthapuram. Fromthen on Japthapuram enjoyed wealth and prosperity.Lakshmipuram has been thrown into a corner. The villagersnow curse themselves for not permitting the road to passthrough their village.
In my case also it happened so. The Japthapuram peoplerefused my alliance with them. They had their reasons. Therewas no open space before our house, no backyard behind thehouse. There was no land, no site or garden for us. We eatwhat we buy in that session or on that day. If the alliancemade with a family that depended on agriculture there will beenough to eat for the whole year. There would be no need tobuy everything. With this plea my mother’s brothers by rela-tionship refused to make me their son-in-law. My mother andgrandmother asked them to give their daughter in marriage tome but returned humiliated. “Will we give our daughter to aboy who is studying? How will he live and what work will hedo? Even if you offer dowry to us, we will not take your boyas our son-in-law,” they said. Now after twenty five years theyfeel sorry for not finalising our alliance then. Now my rela-tives curse themselves taking into account my small job andthe happiness I enjoy.
My wife does not feel the pain and sorrow my unclesand aunts feel. She behaves in the opposite way.
“Ah! What did you have before marrying me? I was givenin marriage to a hapless family. This house made fortune onlyafter I set foot in it. I am a fortunate person. If you had mar-ried in the house of your uncles and aunts you would havelived in poverty like them. You got your job only after you
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years in the textile mills. This alliance was settled as a resultof such contacts. At present my brother had been looking af-ter his fields and lands.
When my cousin brother’s father passed away I couldnot go to offer my condolences. I thought that the relation-ship between us had come to an end with my absence there.But he gave me the wedding card and requested me againand again to attend the marriage. I thought I should not losethe opportunity of reviving the old contacts and relationships.I told my wife also the same thing.
There was another reason which I did not tell her. Sheentertained proudly an idea that she had a large battalion ofrelatives and that I did not have relatives at all. As a matter offact we too have a large number of relatives. But if the ladiesof the house do not co-operate, it will not take a long time tobreak and disintegrate relationships.
My mother used to quarrel with my wife saying that be-cause of her our relatives distanced themselves from us. I feltthat the complaint was true. But my mother was not the motherof my wife to get her to accept the truth. The mother is themother-in-law. The woman who is not a mother cannot be-come a mother-in-law. But the love and affection a motherprovides by that relationship is of a different nature. The reac-tion a mother-in-law provokes is different. My wife could seeonly the mother-in-law in my mother. Even my mother couldnot see her daughters in her daughters-in-law. She treated themas daughters-in-law. No one knows when and where thismother-daughter-in-law syndrome started. The dispute hasfinally come to the stage when the mother says ‘yes’ and thedaughter-in-law says ‘no’ to whatever that is suggested.
My wife used to pickup a quarrel with me saying “did I
at any time answer back your mother? Did I fight with yourold relatives? Why do you accuse me every now and then?”“Should there be a quarrel to keep relatives at a distance? Ifwe don’t go to their houses when invited by them for festivalsand other occasions, relationships get broken automatically.Whenever some one asked us to visit them, you said that yourlegs were aching or your finger was troubling you and stayedaway at home. If everything was well you said that no onewas known to you there. If we visit people a few times there isan opportunity to know everyone. Do you mean to say youknow my son before you married him? How did you getmerged with him? In the same way we can get to know people.”That was mother’s argument.
“They are all new and unknown to me. You better gowith your mother,” my wife used to say whenever there wasan invitation. She never bothered to listen to my telling herthat going with mother was not the same as going with wifeand children. Having thus distanced me from my relatives,my wife taunting me that I had no relatives was a cruel indict-ment.
“When we were young children, we used to stay in thehouse of the present family where the wedding is taking place,calling them affectionately, “pedananna”, “peddamma,”* Isaid looking at her.
I closed my eyes and remembered my boyhood days asthe scenes of those days flashed in my mind. Even as I wasobserving him my father’s elder brother grew up into an oldman. The houses which were beautiful looking then grew into
* pedananna is father’s elder brother .
peddamma is mother elder sister.
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dilapidated houses, without white washing or repairs, withoutpeople to live in them, moss growing on the walls, the plasterpeeling off, finally resulting in the relations with that housebeing broken and lost. When I used to go there alone the newdaughter-in-law and son-in-law of that house used to retreatinto a shell. In this manner the later generations were unknownto me and our acquaintance got dimmed. I myself do not re-member properly the relationships. I do not know which girlis the daughter-in-law of which family and house. My wifedoes not have any inquisitiveness to know who is who. Mychildren do not understand the nature of relationships thoughI repeat it many times. The relationships which are not in dailyuse and the relationships which have no immediate use andneed are being forgotten by the children. Thus in our genera-tion the relationships of village life and the connections aregetting lost. This development made me sigh in despair. Nowsome of my relations instead of calling me “brother-in-law”,“uncle” etc. simply call me with the new relationship tag“saru”. Why does this happen so?
The cousin who is celebrating his daughter’s marriagenow was born a week before I was born and so he became myelder brother. But during younger days we called each otherfamiliarly, 'arei', 'orai', After I grew up though I gave up call-ing him ‘arei’ he continued to call me ‘orei’, exercising hisauthority over me as a senior. Even in our boyhood days hewould say to me “arie, I am your elder brother. Do you know?You have to obey me. You are an ignorant fellow and do notknow much” and boss over me.
As a matter of fact I do not know much about agricul-ture, villages, crops, cattle and the like. It was he who gaveme knowledge about them all. It was he who introduced me
to backyards, canals, gardens and the palmyra trees etc. Buthe could not fare well at studies and in education. So he gaveup studying and started doing cultivation. He got married whenhe was fifteen. His relations tried their best to get the bride
from their family. But my brother refused flatly the alliance.The girl who was to have been given in marriage to him got
angry and did not talk to him for many days. When my motherasked for the same girl for me the girl twisted her mouth re-
jecting me on her father’s advice.
At twenty he became the father of two children. He isnow celebrating his second daughter’s marriage. As his re-
sponsibilities increased in his twentieth year itself he handedover the charge of agriculture and went in search of work in
textile mills. So when I was still a student he had become afather of children and an earning member.
By the time he became a father a change came about inhis behaviour. He started looking down on me as a kid saying
that I knew nothing about family and family life. He used tolecture on life’s philosophy and Bhivandi life and made me
feel very small. He who boasted of so much knowledgestopped the studies of his first daughter in her fifth class. He
allowed his second daughter to study only upto the seventhclass. He could not think of a groom who had studied beyond
the tenth class.
The growth of my elder brother culminated when I settled
down in my job with my wife and children. The morning thatdawns early sets the first thing in the evening. He started feel-
ing the burden of the family, children and their marriages andhis life turned into that of a bullock at the grinding mill.
In olden days five or six elder brothers of father used to
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run seseme (gingelly) oil mills. It was at that time the oil mills
came into existence. In the place of gingelly oil groundnut oilcame into use. In the beginning when the groundnut oil wasused boils appeared all over the body. Heads reeled and peoplesuffered from bilous vomitings. Gingelly oil had a good tasteand a pleasant smell. Now it was considered became bitterand the ground nut oil is taken to be good in taste and pleas-ant in smell. Tastes and attitudes do not remain the same al-ways. Time brings about changes.
With the introduction of milled oils those who lived aprincely life with grinding mills had to find new professions.They had given up their caste profession of weaving clothlong time ago. They had no idea of doing business and didnot have knowledge of other things. About ten of them wentto Bombay to work as mill workers. In those days textile millworkers were far better off than teachers or clerks.
Time never stays static. My father’s elder brothers thoughtthat if they resigned jobs in the Bombay textile mills they wouldget provident fund and with that amount they planned to buylands. They resigned and with the money bought some land.One of my uncles who had no land or cattle resigned his jobin the mills and with that money established two power looms.Now he is the owner of fifty power looms. The elder brothersof my father had no forethought. They thought only of agri-culture. They had great love for the place where they lived.They had freedom as agriculturists where as they did not en-joy freedom as mill workers. Though they returned from millwork, they had to think of it again later. In Bhivandi therewere no labour laws or protection except wages.
My brother surprisingly preferred Bhivandi unlike theelder brothers of my father. I do not know what happened to
his intelligence. He got cought in the drudge like the bullockof the grinding mill. Perhaps it is difficult to come out of away of life when one gets used to it. He should know whatpleasure there was in spending twenty years alone in Bhivandiwhile his wife looked after cultivation in the village. Now hehas become a great devotee. He smears his forehead with hugereligious marks, wears the sacred thread, performs poojas andthe like. Whatever it is, as I have been living in the town forsome years my brother could give me the wedding invitation.He asked me to attend the wedding without fail out of thelove he has for me since our boyhood.
I wonder how the sisters-in-law are now with whom Ihad spent time in a jolly manner as a boy. Saraswathi used togo up trees first like a monkey before me and climb mangotrees, tamarind trees and other trees. She used to run dashinglike an arrow. Along with her, three other sisters-in-law, myelder brothers and I used to play in streams, on the platformsconstructed in fields to watch the crop, under them, in thebackyards of houses, walk and run together. We ate, exchang-ing the eats from our mouths, calling the process by manytypical names. What games we played! What thefts we com-mitted in the backyards of houses! I felt immensely happywhen my grand mother said she would ask Saraswathi’s par-ents to give her in marriage to me and how greatly I was in-sulted and humiliated by them!
By the time we got off the bus and started walking, thesun was beating down on us severly. My wife was murmuringthat her make-up was getting spoiled because of the heat andsweat. I could not hear her properly in the sound of weddingmusic and the blaring loud-speakers.
The marriage was to take place in a narrow space in front
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of the main door. The pandal was erected with fresh palmyrahleaves and the area was glowing forth in all its glory. It wasalso crowded. Many invitees had to stand outside the pandal.My wife walked towards the place where there were women.I stood in the sun along with others. I was greeting and talk-ing to those whom I could recognize. Those who recognizedme talked to me. Some addressed me as brother-in-law, someas elder brother, some as younger brother, some as father’selder brother, some as father's younger brother, some as son-in-law and some as son. They reminded me and also them-selves of the childhood days. The children were lost in theirworlds.
“When he got such a huge tent erected for dining whydidn’t he get two more tents erected at the marriage pandal?Why should he be so stingy while spending so much? Shouldyou not attend to it, brother-in-law?” asked Lakshmirajam ad-dressing me.
“You are there to tell him, being the son-in-law of thehouse,” I smiled.
“Everything was lost and gone after the father-in-lawpassed away. Will this brother-in-law heed my words? Don’tyou know the mentality of your elder brother. He will notheed anyone’s advice,” said Lakshmirajam.
“You should have sent the message through my sister,” Ireplied.
“Will he listen to her? ‘What do you know sister, youbetter keep quiet. I am here to look into all these things,’ hesaid to her who is a mother of three children,” repliedLakshmirajam wiping the sweat off his brow, covering hishead with a towel.
Everyone was waiting eagerly for the auspicious momentwhen the sacred and sanctified rice is to be sprinkled on theheads of the bride and the bridegroom, the heat being unbear-able and the hunger great. They were eager to rush into thetent where lunch would be served. If the volunteers had noterected the thick cloth wall there, half the invitees would haverushed into the tent which was erected in the yard beside thehouse. We were not able to see what was going on in themarriage pandal.
“At least a few chairs should have been placed here. Asall are standing nothing is being seen,” I said to Lakshmirajam,to start a conversation.
“If tents cannot be procured, he will get chairs”,Lakshmirajam laughed. Someone brought the sanctified ricesaying “namaskaram sir”, to me.
I took some quantify of it and asked Lakshmirajam whohe was. “He is your elder brother’s brother-in-law” repliedLakshmirajam. I could not recognize him.
I could not identify many who had come there. When Ifelt they were the old relatives I was introducing myself tothem as so and so mother’s son, as the grand mother’s grand-son and greeting them with folded lands. Many of them werein a doubtful state of mind like me regarding relationship. Ifthe son was a known person his wife was a stranger. In thismanner I could not locate relationship with nearly half of theold relatives. Somebody said the auspicious moment had ar-rived and the commin seeds (Jeelakarra in Telugu) and jagerypaste had been mutually placed on the heads by the bride andbridegroom. There was pushing among the guests. After someminutes there was the announcement that the sanctified rice
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should be sprinkled on the newly married couple to bless them.Later guests walked into the tent where lunch was served.
With the advent of the video new problems have croppedup. In earlier days it was enough if some gift was given or ifthe elders were met at some time during the wedding. Nowthe video records when guests came, where they stood etc. SoI walked with the guests in a line and got shot by the video.My brother who was thanking those that attended the wed-ding hugged me affectionately. The old blood relationshiptingled my body. I greeted my brother’s wife and told mywife that she was her younger sister. In olden days there wereno ‘namaskarams’ among relations. People used to talk to eachother with smiles. Now the other person has to be invariablygreeted with a namaskar, to be considered as having spokento the person. The ladies held their hands affectionately and Iwalked towards the lunch tent.
The tent was crowded. There too the introductions andsmall talk continued and it was two O’ clock by the time Ifinished the wedding meal. The old and new relations startedleaving and getting their gifts entered in a note book. Themembers of the bridegroom’s party were involved in a heateddiscusson. When the priest was showing to the bride and bride-groom the Arundhati star in the sky at two in the afternoon Icould not but laugh. The branch of a tree by the side of thepole of the pandal also registered its smile along with me byswinging.
The priest got the ritual of spreading the cotton seeds inthe hot sun. Though three generations passed after stoppingthe practice of weaving cloth, the wooden shaft to which theyarn winds as weaving goes on was shining resplendent withturmeric and kunkum. This wooden shaft acts as the wooden
seat for the bride and bridegroom to sit upon.
In villages also wedding dinners were being prepared asin cities. But my brother’s love for chilli powder had not yetabated. The curries were hot indeed. Our tongues and mouthbegan to burn because of the combination of chillies and dalda.Drinking water resulted only in filling the stomach withoutmitigating the burning sensation. We were feeling sleepy asour stomachs were full.
“Why don’t you stay on till the ritual of handling over
the girl to the groom’s party? You can go after the night meal.Autos and buses are available late in the night also”, said my
mother’s elder sister affectionately. She wispered “there arefive goat heads and the legs. Two pots of toddyy has been
ordered for. Stay away," she requested.
“I too want to stay. I thought I could meet old relatives in
the evening by which time the crowds would have left.”
“Take rest for a while,” she said and asked her grandson
to take me to the house of Suresh.
The lady of the house offered water in a pot to wash our
feet. Me and my wife washed our feet, drank cool water andsat on the cot.
I could not recognize the lady. But I have my system. I
introduced myself and introduced my wife. She too had re-turned from the wedding dinner. Her mouth too was burning.
She looked at me and my wife laughing happily and asked“Didn’t you recognize me?”
I did not recognize her. But her calling me brother-in-law made me feel happy. My wife looked at me with a strange
expression. How many ideas were hidden in that expression!
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Jealousy, doubt, suspicion, who was that woman? any love
affair of the past? etc.
“I am Saravva. Saraswathi. When your grandmother cameto ask me for you, my father drove you away. Do you re-member? I am that Saraswathi.”
I tried to recollect the facial features and looked at herkeenly. Was she the same Saraswathi whom I saw when I wasvery young? Now the naughtiness of those days was not seenin her. With her age and the experience she had gained, shenow looked elderly and dignified.
The way she talked also had changed.
“Abba! How we met unexpectedly after so many years!”I exclaimed surprised.
“I recognized you at the marriage pandal itself. I askedaunty whether you were not Ramulu bava.”
“It is more than twenty years since we met. How is it youwere not seen at any functions of our relatives?”
“I was at Bhivandi and Surat with your brother for sometime. We all came down here three years ago. I came to ourparts to get my children educated like you, bava” she saidsmiling mischievously. I saw in her naughty smile the experi-ence she had gained in life.
“Is this your relative whom you wanted to marry?” askedmy wife and eyed Saraswathi with looks that approved herbeauty and dignity. My wife evidently didn’t like Saraswathiwho was more beautiful and dignified than herself. She wouldhave certainty felt happy if Saraswathi had been a little darkand simple looking.
“Yes, akka, he said he would marry me and none else”
said Saraswathi, calling my wife, elder sister.
We talked and recollected old days as my wife and chil-dren observed us. Saraswathi introduced her children to us.Her daughter had come of marriageable age. I asked her abouther daughter.
“There was a proposal from Bhivandi. But I don’t likethe Bhivandi match. We didn’t prosper by going to Bhivandi.I will educate my daughter like your son and make her anengineer or a teacher. She turned to her daughter our elderbrother is studying engineering. You too should secure a seatin engineering,” she said looking at her daughter.
She made sharbat with lime juice and gave it to us all.
“My father confined me to this meagre life without fore-thought. If my marriage was celebrated with you I too wouldhave been happy like my sister. My life took this shape forhaving got me married very young. If I was about twenty andhad some knowledge of things, I would have married you.My father got me married when I was fifteen and washed hishands,” said Saraswathi sadly.
“Nothing has gone wrong in your life sister,” consoledmy wife.
“There’s a lot of happiness in living together, difficultiesor joy. What kind of a life is it if the man goes far away andstays here only for fifteen days a year, year after year? Sucha life shouldn’t be wished even for the enemy. We have manydesires. We may feel like talking about our problems. Thereis no one to whom they can be explained. All people don’treact alike if a woman lives alone. I couldn’t live in the houseof my mother-in-law. So I rented a house in my mother’s placeand am living here”, said Saraswathi looking at me. Though
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Saraswathi’s individuality and personality had matured, shehad not lost the verve of the younger days. She was the samedashing type.
She turned to me again. “Father thought you would neverprosper but you have prospered. We who thought we had wonin life’s struggle have fallen behind. What can be the reasonfor it, bava?” she asked.
“Saraswathi! Those who could feel the pulse of the soci-ety and its development fared well. Those who couldn’t, laggedbehind.” I told her.
“With the money earned we did not invest in establish-ing four power looms there. Instead we diverted the moneyto agriculture preferring our place but it didn’t help us andour lives have no identity of any sort”, sighed Saraswathi.
“As a matter of fact I too have not prospered catching upthe growth in life. As father passed away early in my life Icould not go in for higher studies and so became a clerk. Myclassmates who pursued studies without a break became HighCourt Judges, University Professors, Ministers and doctors inAmerica. I had to stop my studies as the hard earnings of mymother could not help me.”
“You say that one should catch up with modern develop-ment. Many modern methods have been introduced in agri-culture. We are following them. Textile mills also denote de-velopment. Yet why did we lag behind?”
“Whether it is the field of workers or the field of whitecollar jobs, if the employees have the power of dealing withthe employers unitedly, demanding a share in the profits, thewages of the employees will be on the beneficial side. In olden
days agriculture and cultivation were the main props for thelife of man. As I did not have that support your father refusedto give you to me in marriage. Now agriculture is losing itsimportance and money power. The textile mills of the yester-years had a strong earning base and the wages were attrac-tive. The small investors came out of the mill and they arenow the mill owners in Sholapur and Bhivandi. Now that op-portunity has also been lost. The electronic and computer fieldshold the sway now. The early employees of these fields havebecome millionaires.”
“Whatever you say, bava! Our grand parents, father andothers of our village have lived with faith in agriculture butthey have not prospered. If we believe in agriculture and de-pend on it, of course, there is no problem for food. But ani-mals also eat something and live. You people are enjoyingluxuries on the taxes the government lays on us indiscrimi-nately, whereas we are leading mediocre lives. It looks asthough the government is there to provide you a happy life;the government which exists to help us, poor agriculturists.That’s the reason why you look so chubby, goodlooking andhandsome. Your children are studying higher classes and forg-ing ahead.”
Though these words were directed towards me bySaraswathi, my wife frowned as though she was referred to.
“If every citizen speaks out like you frankly, the govern-ment cannot remain idle as now. The government employeesalso do not behave as they behave now. They will think aboutthe people in all earnestness”, I replied.
As we were called to be present at the ritual of handingthe bride over to the groom’s party, we all left after freshen-ing ourselves. I was moved to tears when my brother’s daughter
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fell at our feet asking us to bless her though we had not takenup any responsibility in the celebration of the marriage. Therelationships between and among people remind us of the re-sponsibilities one has to bear for others along with the rightsone demands from the others. My conscience questioned mewhat I did towards the growth and improvement of these oldrelatives bound by the bonds of relationships.
We were requested to eat our meal in the night but mywife was keen on leaving immediately. I guessed that my wifewas jealous of Saraswathi leading a life of dignity and en-joyed a fully developed personality even in her poverty. ‘Oneshould possess the quality of giving encouragement and of-fering a helping hand to those who have fallen behind in theirgrowth and prosperity compared to our development but whyexhibit jealousy?’ I thought. Later I put it to her in words.
“Did you have an affair with Saraswathi before yourmarriage with me?” asked my wife in reply.
I felt like laughing at her question. I also felt bad whenshe asked me that question specially when we were marriedhappily for so many years. “Did you also have affairs withyour uncles and other relatives? Why do you suspect me inthat manner?” I asked. With that she changed her strategy.Next day she went away to her mother’s place.
Vipula (monthly). August 1999
4
THE OLD SAREE
Relatives had been visiting Rajeswaramma throughoutthe month and she had no breathing time. Their arrival in-creased from the time Lavanya, the third daughter, came hometo be delivered of her second child. Relatives had been com-ing and going in connection with the marriage alliance of thefourth daughter who was doing her P.G.course.
Lavanya was delivered of her baby in the hospital after aminor operation. The mother-in-law of the eldest daughter,Vijaya, had arrived two days earlier on a courtesy visit. Thesecond daughter-in-law too made a flying visit.Rajeswaramma’s younger brothers and other relatives left af-ter a short stay.
Rajeswaramma’s uncle and aunt came from a far off place.Also her younger uncles and aunts. Rajeswaramma’s seconddaughter-in-law, Kalavathi, did not recognize them. She didnot offer them water to drink nor did she ask them to be seatedwhich pained them. They went searching for the hospital. Theywere relieved and happy when they saw Rajeswaramma. “Dearniece, I haven’t been well these days. You are healthy andstrong though you are seventy, what with your sons and daugh-ters-in-law helping you. They express their wonder whetherthey would live long like me but never buy medicines for me.Why don’t you take me to a doctor and get me examined and
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treated?” Veeraiah appealed to her after the usual greetings.Rajeswaramma felt very sorry at the appeal made to her byher uncle. He had personally attended the tonsuring ceremonywhen she was a child. He got silver ankle chains made for herwhen she was young. He took upon himself the responsibilityof celebrating her marriage. He had lived without extendinghis hand for help from others. The situation changed for himat home four years ago. The sons were indifferent and thedaughters-in-law constantly complained.
Rajeswaramma was moved. She hesitated to broach thetopic with her husband. He would taunt her, asking whethershe had any idea of the expenditure at home. She asked theelder son, Prasad. He said that it was all an unnecessary bur-den. Veeraiah could understand his mind observing the ex-pression on Prasad’s face. The old man was sorry he botheredRajeswaramma unnecessarily.
“Uncle! Why don’t you stay for a couple of days? Wewill go to the doctor,” replied Rajeswaramma for the sake ofcourtesy. She felt uneasy for having said so, for, if he stayedback she would face a difficult situation. Veeraiah, on his part,hesitated at the offer, for, how could he stay in the house wherehe was not offered even drinking water on arrival?
“Dear girl! Your house is full of relatives now. I will comeafter four or five days,” said Veeraiah. Rajeswaramma heaveda sigh of relief for her prestige was saved.
• • •
“Why retain all this junk? Of what use are these articles?Get them weighed and sell them away to the scrap buyer,”said Kalavathi, Rajeswaramma’s second daughter-in-law, withher husband Viswanadham.
Rajeswaramma heard Kalavathi. Lingaiah, the old manalso heard her. They kept silent. Their second son was run-ning the family doing some business. Kalavathi was steadilyoccupying the place of Rajeswaramma as the mistress of thehouse. Lingaiah and Rajeswaramma have been changingplaces during the last four years from the role of parents, fa-ther-in-law and mother-in-law into old relatives who had noneto look after them.
Lingaiah looked at the attic where the old unused articleswere kept. He could not see clearly what were stored on theattic which had turned black because of smoke and neglect.But he knew what were up there. An old charaka, the variousimplements used in weaving cloth, old clothes, broken cots,old tape used for cots, an old cycle and its parts, an old loom,old wooden rafters, broken chairs etc.
Thinking of them, Lingaiah’s mind went back forty years.That was the time when he wove sarees on the loom andprinted colour on the yarn. The cots had got broken as chil-dren grew up. His wedding cot which got smaller and smallerturned into the children’s cot and finally reached the attic af-ter serving the family for a long time.
Viswanadham sent his clerk to open the shop and startedhanding the junk down from the attic to Kalavathi.
The rats that had lived on the attic ran about the housewhen the cleaning started. Rajeswaramma was surprised atthe number of rats living in the attic. An old suitcase slippedfrom the hands of Kalavathi and fell on the ground with athud and the lid got separated. There were old clothes in it.
That was Rajeswaramma’s suitcase. Her heart missed abeat. The suit case was the storehouse of the sweet memories
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of the past! It was a ply wood suitcase bought at the time ofher wedding. There were a number of old sarees in it….
“All the useless things are kept on the attic. What willhappen if snakes and scorpions make their abode amongthem?….. Not a single item is of any use.” Kalavathi startedexpressing her disgust. The parents of Viswamadham pre-tended as if they did not hear her complaint and remainedsilent.
Rajeswaramma picked up the suit case, took out theclothes and dusted an old saree which she liked most. In thosedays they all wore hand woven sarees. There was a specialuse for those cotton sarees. After serving their time if two oldsarees were stitched together, they made a soft quilt. The quiltmade a soft bed on the rope cot.
But Rajeswaramma could not come to make a quilt outof this saree. This old saree was the witness for all the auspi-cious festivities that took place in the family. She wore thissaree and washed the feet of the groom at the wedding of hersecond daughter. During how many festivals, how many de-liveries and other such functions she had worn the saree!Veeraiah, her mother’s brother, got the saree specially madefor her on behalf of his mother at the time when the housewas built. It was a nine yards saree with a beautiful zari bor-der.
Rajeswaramma soaked the saree in water and washed it.The saree was dust laden. So she soaped and washed it again.It was then that the saree came out with its original colourthough a little faded.
“O my man! Do you remember when this saree wasbought !” She smiled looking at Lingaiah. Lingaiah recog-
nized it and smiled back brightly. Many memories flashedthrough his mind also. But he looked angry the next moment.Lingaiah had a greet liking for the saree. But she never worethe saree in the nights. That was the reason for his anger.
“Why did you wash it? Do you want to wear it now?” heasked.
“Why? Do you want the world to accuse us saying thatyour son and daughter-in-law are not buying sarees for her?”Kalavathi reacted sharply.
Vishwanadham piled up all the old and broken articleson the street to be sold to the scrap buyer. The scrap buyeroffered to pay a hundred and fifty rupees at three rupees akilo for them. If they were in a usable condition they costmore than ten thousand rupees. Vishwanadham had no mindto sell them. They were the museum articles of their house.
“What objection did the articles make, Viswanadham ?What will you get with the little money after selling them? Dopeople sell these household articles? Let them stay in a cornerof the attice." suggested Lingaiah.
Viswanadham too felt like retaining them after learningabout the amount he would get by selling them. But Kalavathidid not agree. Why should the junk be there coming in theway of storing other things? “If you don’t feel like sellingthem, give them away to someone if they are useful to them.They will remember you always”, said Kalavathi.
Kalawathi was rolling beedis at home and at the sametime ran the business of selling sarees. She was not able totolerate the rats and other insects on the attic. She was afraidthat the old articles would fall on her head whenever the ratsran this way and that.
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On two earlier occasions Viswanadham changed his mindto sell the junk on his father raising an objection. The sonsand daughters-in-law had distributed among themselves allhousehold items except the junk on the attic. They thoughtthe junk would occupy space.
Veeraiah, the grand old man, returned with a towel cov-ering his head. He found things scattered all over the placeand wondered whether he came at the wrong time.Rajeswaramma greeted him.
On seeing the saree on the clothes line he thought that hehad seen the saree somewhere. “Where did you get this oldsaree?” he asked Rajeswaramma.
“That was the saree you presented to me,” repliedRajeswaramma.
It was the sixty count saree with a zari border speciallywoven by Veeraiah for his niece.
“Mother! If you wash the saree two more times in surf itcan be used as towels for the baby of Lavanya,” said Kalavathiaddressing her mother-in-law.
If anybody wanted to use it, it will make a good quiltwith another saree. But use it as napkins for the baby? Itsounded unpleasant to Rajeswaramma.
“When will you bring your grand daughter from the hos-pital?” Veeraiah asked.
“She comes tomorrow. That’s why the house is beingcleaned and washed.” Kalavathi informed that Ravinderwanted to wash the walls and also the attic with dettol or elsehe would take Lavanya to their house.
“We do not bother whatever happens to the old items
after we are gone. Hold your patience for some more time,”said Lingaiah looking at his son and daughter-in-law.
Kalavathi wanted to retort saying “perhaps we will begone before you go” but did not speak out. Viswanadhampiled all the junk in a corner on the attic and washed the atticwith dettol.
• • •
It was the naming ceremony of Lavanya’s second child.Lingaiah’s elder brother’s sons and daughter’s-in-law,mother’s elder sister’s sons and daughters, Rajeswaramma’sfather’s elder brother, younger brother, her husband’s sister’ssons and daughter-in-law, son-in-law, brothers andsisters……many relatives were invited. Vanaja who was do-ing P.G. in the city and her two friends also came.Rajeswaramma’s third daughter-in-law Madhavi, and Ramesh,her son arrived from the city.
Many relatives recognized Madhavi and greeted her. ButMadhavi could not identify any of them. She was confused asto who was who because she stayed in the house of her in-laws for only a few days. As Vanaja was studying in the cityher situation was no better.
Gangavva, Lingaiah’s elder brother’s daughter, askedRajeswaramma “Vanaja has now the looks of a bride. Whenare you going to celebrate her marriage?” This question be-came the topic of discussion among everyone. Vanaja wascross with them. Why should they show interest in her mar-riage? Her marriage was her business. She would marry anytime, any body. What had they to do with her marriage?
“They are all our relatives. They should and would becoming to our house for all festivals”. So saying Lingaiah
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introduced the relatives to Vanaja. She was not interested inthese relatives. Her concentration was on her classmates.
Many relatives left after the rituals connected with thebirth of the baby. Some old people and those from the side ofLavanya’s mother-in-law remained.
By morning Kalavathi started making complaints again.The tap water was not sufficient. Milk was not sufficient. Thehouse was over-crowded as it was small. Vegetables were in-sufficient. The vessels too were too few for the crowd…..Viswanadham also felt it a little inconvenient.
Rajeswaramma and Lingaiah heard Kalavathi. Lavanya’sin-laws also heard her. They took it to their heart and threat-ened to leave the place. Kalavathi got worried. She assertedthat she did not mean them at all.
Veeraiah’s eyes moistened. “As long as we are alive wewant to live like this. Later your children will not recognizeother children of this family,” said Veeeraiah sadly.
Rajeswaramma grew thoughtful. There were a numberof old relatives. Help will not the needed from them. Thebonds of relationship with these relatives were weakeningexcept for finding grooms for the brides. When marriages tookplace new bonds grew with the relatives of the grooms or thebride’s families. The present day children did not know therelationship they had with the old relatives. The differencebetween ages, status and tastes increased the distance betweenthe new generation and the old. Rajeswaramma felt that thebonds with the old relatives will be kept going till the presentold generation lived.
Rajeswaramma took uncle Veeraiah to the doctor. Bythe time she returned from the doctor having sent her uncle
away with the medicines, she found something lacking in thehouse. The old junk which was piled up at a corner in the attichad disappeared. Gangarajakka had left to her place. The oldsaree which was dried on the clothes line to be made into aquilt for her grand-daughter was missing. Lavanya had tornthat saree into pieces to be used as nappies for her new bornchild.
“Ayyo! Have you torn the old saree?” Rajeswarammaasked Lavanya, distressed.
“Yes, mother! Kalavathi told me that you wanted the sareeto be torn into pieces to be used for the baby as nappies andthat you washed it for that purpose.”
Rajeswaramma sighed sadly. When Veeraiah uncle sawthe saree and recognized it she felt she belonged to that house.Looking at the pieces of the saree now she felt she was in thehouse of strangers.
Praveen, Kalavathi’s second son asked his mother look-ing at Veeraiah “mother, "who is this old man?"
“He is your father’s mother’s younger borther” repliedKalavathi.
“What do you mean by all that……father’s mother’s…...younger brother….?” asked Praveen feeling confused.
Kalavathi did not know how to explain it to her son.
“Tataiah to which place do you belong? Vidyasagar,father’s elder brother’s son is in the college, I am told. Whydidn’t he come for yesterday’s function? I want to see him.Will you go and send him?” asked Praveen.
Veeraiah did not know what to tell him. If he did notknow his own cousin brother, how will the boy know him?
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Lingaiah came home and was surprised at the disappear-ance of the old junk. “What happened to all those old items?”shouted Lingaiah. He felt that his experiences, his memoriesand relationships were all swept away.
“Lavanya stays here for three months. The house iscrowded. You sleep under the tin roof shed behind the house.It won’t be good for the girl who was delivered of her babyrecently if all your relations stay near the mother,” saidKalavathi to her in-laws.
Rajeswaramma felt hurt but could do nothing. She col-lected all her clothes and carried her cot to the tinshed behindthe house.
“I’ll get going” said Veeraiah uncle and left. Lavanya’scot-was shifted into the front room.
6
VEDAVATHI
Vedavathi’s husband Thippakara Rao was six yearsyounger than her. When Vedavathi was in her Intermediatecourse, Thippakara Rao was in the fifth class. By the timeVedavathi completed her teacher training, Thippakar was inthe eighth class.
Vedavathi’s elder sister Gayathri came to her parents inher seventh month of pregnanacy. Vedavathi was doing herIntermediate then. Badarayana Sharma, Gayathri’s husbandheld Vedavathi’s hand one day. When she complained to hersister about it, her sister laughed it away. She said that brothers-in-law have that much right over their sisters-in-law. “He mighthave held your hand for fun. Should we penalise him for that?”said Gayathri. Her mother also said the same. Father too. Laterwhat should not happen happened.
Vedavathi’s mother Gangayamma did not take the affairseriously until her daughter missed her periods. Having beendelivered of her baby, Gayathri left to her place after threemonths. By then Vedavathi’s vomitings commenced.Gangayamma got scared. “ Why didn’t you tell me?”thundered Gangayamma and thrashed her daughter with abroom. “When I told you no one of you bothered,” criedVedavathi. “When I informed sister she held my feet and
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prayed not to reveal it and break up her family life”, she added,all tears.
Gangayamma contacted the barber woman Rajamma whoacted as midwife at deliveries. She felt assured that she actedquickly and wisely taking all precautions. Shankara Sharmawho was studying the degree class lived four houses awayfrom Gangayamma’s house. He was married. He was attractedby Vedavathi. Before a year passed Gangayamma neededRajamma’s help again. Gangayamma could not but reveal thefact to her husband Dattatreya Sharma.
Dattatreya Sharma flew into a rage. Gangayammacautioned him to be quiet and reminded him of the Telugusaying that if one shouted, the respect one commanded wouldbe lost. Dattatreya Sharma calmed down with that. He hadspent half his earnings for the marriage of his first daughter.By the time he celebrates Vedavathi’s marriage he might beleft only with a begging bowl, Perhaps a love marriage wouldsolve the problem.
“Find out and tell me who that fellow is. Take the help ofRajamma in encouraging our daughter to elope with thatfellow. Give some money to Rajamma,” instructed DattatreyaSharma.
“That fellow is no stranger. He is your nephew Shankar.He was married two years ago. That fellow did thispurposefully. I don’t understand how our daughter surrenderedto him.” Gangayamma hit her head with her hands in despair.
Dattatreya Sharma raved and ranted cursing his nephewthat he would suffer in hell for the sin.
“I have tried that also through Rajamma by asking him.Do you know what your nephew said, that you frequent his
aunty, that his wife Savithri was born to you and that he wouldtom tom the news all over.' Rajamma had to return quietly,”said Gangayamma with tears.
Dattatreya Sharma was held in great esteem in the society.On hearing his wife, he started sweating all over. What willhappen to his prestige if people came to know of it? He cursedhis daughter who had brought about so much worry anddisgrace to him without concentrating on her studies like agood girl.
“Drive her out of our house. I will take it that she is notour daughter,” he shouted.
“Where can I drive her away. It’s all my fate,” saidGangayamma sobbing.
The second problem also was solved somehow. Theproperty of Sharma got evaporated like camphor within fiveyears. There was no earning member at home. Agriculturalincome also got dwindled. As he was selling some land everyyear, even that got reduced. What little was left had to be soldfor the education of the eldest boy Sadasiva who was studyingin the city.
Vedavathi’s marriage was a problem. Dowry rates gotsky-rocketed. The matches from the town were not to bethought of for known reasons. Matches from distant placeswere not within their financial reach. One evening Vedavathisaid she would go to a movie. On a fine day she ran awaywith Thippakara Rao. She collected all the jewels andornaments of her mother in a bag and eloped. The news spreadlike wild fire all over the town.
Dattatreya Sharma could not bear the humiliatation andleft for Bombay along with Gangayamma. He spent life there
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performing poojas to photographs of gods, almost begginglike a Gurkha. In course time he grew in the esteem of thepeople there and his earnings also increased.
Vedavathi used to treat Thippakara Rao with contemptwhen she was young. She used to call him ‘arre Tippa’. Heused to stand before her with folded arms. She would sendhim on silly erands taking advantage of his innocence.
Thippakar Rao’s original name was Thippayya. He wasnamed after his father.
After she married Thippakara Rao, Vedavathi began tofeel that by treating him with contempt she too would be treatedlike that by others. So she started calling him Thippakara Raoinstead of Thippayya. Others also started calling himThipparaka Rao. He got his name legally changed and gavepaper announcement. Now Vedavathi talked of him as ‘myhusband’. If she had to tell someone his name she would say‘Thippakara Rao garu’, stressing on the last word, a term ofrespect.
They got a telephone. She would not say 'Vedavathispeaking' ‘but say’ Mrs. Thippakara Rao speaking’. It gavegreat joy to Thippakara Rao to hear his name being stressedin the manner his wife introduced his name to others.
The guru of Vedavathi in this regard was her four yearold daughter Aranyaka. Aranyaka had attended the birth dayof her classmate Medha and asked her mother in the night,“mummy, why do you call daddy by his name? My classmates'mommas never call their husbands by their names. To dayyou shouted daddy’s name calling him Thippakar. My friendSweety asked me, “Why does your mummy call your daddyby name?” So saying she pulled a long face. Vedavathi
caressed and kissed Aranyaka.
“Then, how does Sweety’s mother call her daddy?” askedVedavathi imitating child-like talk.
Aranyaka imitated Sweeth’s mother and said “please dear,will you come once to me!” If he is far away she would askSweety to go and get daddy. You never entrust me with anysuch work. Even if daddy is far away you shout loudly“Thippakar!”. Do you know how insulted I feel?” saidAranyaka as if she were a grown up person.
Vedavathi was surprised and wondered whether childrenobserve the adults so keenly. She embraced her daughter andshowered kisses on her. She realised that the contempt shehad for Thippakara Rao in some corner of her brain waspeeping out in her behaviour.
Why did she entertain a contemptuous feeling towardsThippakar while living with him? Was it because he was of alow caste? Was it because he was younger than her? Was itbecause he was cooking for her like a woman? Was it becausehe was less educated than herself? Or was it because he wasan innocent person? Vedavathi fell into thinking.
Even before a week passed Vedavathi had a taste of abitter experience which she would never forget in her life. Atthe marriage of her colleague’s daughter, Srilakshmi askedVedavathi to call her husband once.
Vedavathi called her husband in a respectful manner,saying ‘emandi’. Thippakar kept talking with someonethinking that he was not addressed. Vedavathi used therespectful term two or three times and finally called,“Thippakar!” He came running to her.
“Thippakar! Will you get me six sweet pans? Also a
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goldflake packet for my husband,” said Srilakshmi pretendinggreat affection for him, placing money in his hand. BeforeVedavathi could realise what happened, Thippakar took themoney and left.
Vedavathi’s eyes filled with tears at the humiliation. Howdo these people feel about Thippakar? Srilakshmi could haveasked her husband to get pan for her. If she asked Srilakshmi’shusband to do a similar errand how does Srilakshmi feel andreact? ‘How dare she humiliate me by asking me to call myhusband and then send him to do her bidding? Where was themistake?’ thought Vedavathi. When her friends went to herhouse to play carrams or cards it was Thippakar who madetea and handed them refreshments. Was this the reason whythey thought low of him?
Vedavathi decided to stop playing those games in herhouse and not to ask Thippakar to do this and that beforeothers.
Aranyaka kissed her mother when she observed hermother treating her father with respect. Vedavathi arrangedfor a rickshaw for her daughter and asked her husband not totake Aranyaka to school until he secured a job. Thisdevelopment made Aranyaka love her mother more and shegrew into a pampered child.
Vedavathi wanted her husband to find a job whatever theexpenditure. She forced him to take the external exam andsent him to the city for tution. Aranyaka grew more stubbornas time passed. Vedavathi did not know how to control herdaughter.
“Let daddy come. He will take you to task then. I’ll tellhim how many things were broken by you,” Aranyaka
threatened her mother. The threat worked well on Vedavathi.
One night Vedavathi’s brother-in-law Badarayana Sharmawent to her house when Thippakar was not at home. Vedavathidid not know what to do. She was crest-fallen at the turns herlife was taking. She was also getting wild. Aranyaka startedcrying seeing her mother struggling to get free from Sharma.Vedavathi could manage to knock him down and kick himhard. Sharma fell wriggling with pain.
She lifted the phone and rang up Sri Lakshmi, “Hello!Sri Lakshmi. Some stranger has entered my house and isthreatening me. Come quickly with your husband on thescooter.” She picked up a ruler stick and hit hard Sharma untilhe bled from mouth and the ruler broke.
Hearing the scooter being parked, Sharma ran outescaping from Vedavathi.
“I opened the door on hearing a knock. He pounced onme suddenly,” she told Sri Lakshmi.
After three days her father Dattatreya Sharma went to herhouse. “Have you arrived to destroy my family? You poisonedmy mind against my husband and now have you come to enjoythe fruits by depending on me after our separation? Get out!My father passed away long ago. Every year, in the morningson our marriage day I perform his obsequies and then onlycelebrate our marriage anniversary in the evenings,” shoutedVedavathi, looking like the goddess of terror.
When her father tried to say something she cried “I don’twant to hear anything from you,” took up the broom stick andattacked him. Her father went away in haste. Next day sheapplied leave and went to Tippakar Rao who was in the city.
“What a surprise? Devi has manifested herself so
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suddenly?” Tippakar Rao tried to joke pleasantly.
“Shall we go to some place for our honey moon?” askedVedavathi with a mischievous smile.
“After so many years of marriage? What a naughtydesire!”, smiled Tippakara Rao.
“Rukku! Do you want a brother or a sister?” askedVedavathi addressing Aranyaka.
“Good! Good! I want a brother! When will he come,mummy?” Aranyaka clapped in joy.
“You don’t have the intelligence Arankaya has” saidVedavathi looking at her husband and smiled. Immediatelyshe felt bad whether she belittled her husband with her wordsand cursed herself. Tippakar did not observe the expressionon the face of his wife.
“What about my studies?” asked Tippakar lookingaffectionately at Vedavathi.
“It’s no problem, Tippakar! I know your talents. Yougrasp things at one hearing. Anyway during he honeymoonyou will get plenty of time to study. I will also help you.”
Vedavathi applied leave for two months, got herselftransferred to another place and settled with her family.
Five years passed. Aranyaka was in the fifth class. Herbrother Malavya was in the first class. Tippakar modifiedslightly the name of his father Mallayya into Malavya andgave the name to his son. Tippakar completed his degree andwas doing his P.G. course by then. He was working in theR.T.C. and started a private chit fund unit and was busy.Vedavathi was happy that like all other wives she was leadinga life that did not depend on her earnings. To her, her past
was a bad dream.
She never tried to recollect her past. When she met herfriends or relatives she started behaving haughtily withindifference. They felt hurt and did not talk to her anothertime. Vedavathi wanted it that way. Their comings and goingsresulted in unnecessary situations.
If Malvya misbehaved or for any mistake he was warnedwith the words “I will tell daddy.” Malavya started to see adevil in his daddy. He who was playing would go into hisshell on his father arriving home. Tippakar felt pained whenhis son went into a corner on his arrival.
“Malavya! Come to me!” he would say pleasantly. Theboy would go to him hesitantly.
“Why are you hesitating to come to me?”
“Daddy, mummy says you would beat me. You won’tbeat me. Am I correct, daddy?”
Thippakar Rao embraced the boy and kissed him lovingly.
“You go on pampering him like that. Later I will have toface the music,” Vedavathi complaned, twisting her lips.
“What is it, Veda! Why do you paint me as a demon beforethem? Why don’t you allow them to play with me?”
“You are always away. These two kill me asking for thisand that. If I don’t say that I would report it to you, whom dothey fear?”
“Do you want to make a dragon of me and play withthem yourself? Why don’t you allow them to play with me?”Vedavathi laughed heartily.
“Mummy is bad, bad!” Aranyaka clapped her hands.
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“You should not say so, Aranya! Mummy is good like adeity that is seen!” said Tippakar cajoling his daughter.
“Then, daddy is a god that is seen. Mummy is Parvathiand you are Lord Siva. Mummy is Lakshmi. You are Vishnu.”
“No, No. Don’t say so. They are gods and are great.”
“But they are never seen. So you are gods that are seen….”
Tippakar Rao drew his daughter to him and kissed herheartily.
“I got you and won victory in my life,” exclaimedVedavathi feeling joyous and happy.
“I won the victory in my life because of you. I won overyou and became victor in life” replied Rao.
Andhra Bhoomi (daily) May, 1999
VARALAKSHMI
Varalakshmi was not ambitious by nature. She was happywith whatever she got. She was born after three boys and her
parents accepted her as a gift from the gods. So they namedher Varalakshmi. As soon as she was born her father’s sister,
Bhoolakshmi claimed her as her daughter-in-law.
“Brother! you should give this daughter of yours to myson in marriage. Unless you give me your word, I’ll not attendher tonsuring ceremony,” said Bhoolakshmi.
Varalakshmi loved her parental house dearly. Her three
elder brothers managed a shop each and were leading a decentlife. Bhoolakshmi’s husband used to go to Bombay and
Bhivandi and work there in the textile mills. Though herbrothers gave up their caste profession of weaving, they
maintained the traditions of the family like their father and soBhoolakshmi treated them with respect.
Bhoolakshmi pestered for the marriage of her son withVaralakshmi even before Varalakshmi had any knowledge ofwhat a marriage was. She believed that the girl would be withher like her daughter and help her in the household activities.So nine year old Varalakshmi was given in marriage to fourteenyear old Anjaneyulu. The marriage was celebrated on a grandscale. When Varalakshmi was fifteen years old her nuptial
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ceremony with Anjaneyulu was again celebrated on an equallygrand scale as if it were a marriage.
Anjaneyulu did not pursue his studies after the eighthclass. He was put in a kirana shop on monthly wages. He leftthe job within two years. He was inspired by his uncles andwanted to run a kirana shop himself. He asked his mother forthe money he got as dowry. Lakshminarayana helped his son-in-law in settling down as he would help his own sons makingno difference between them.
In course of time Anjaneyulu started a tea shop and alsoa pan shop as an annexure to his provisions store. He was asharp person and a keen observer. He mixed easily with people.His business prospered. He sold provisions against grain also.He sold the grain thus accumulated. He found this methodvery profitable and wondered why he should not do businessin selling grain. The moment he got this idea he met his unclesand the brothers of his father. Accosting them affectionatelyhe requested them to give him their grain. He offered themthe price that prevailed in the market, offered to take one ofthem with him to the town and made them agree to share thetransport expenses. Thus he acted as a beneficiary to his placeand the people and won their good will. In the second year heasked them for commission for having taken so much risk inthe transaction. They happily agreed as he was the boy thatgrew up before their very eyes, one who was friendly withthem. The demand grew and along with the rise in prices, themargin of profit for Anjaneyulu also grew.
As soon as he accumulated enough money to buy thegrain from the field itself, he bought the grain, stored it forsome time and sold it when there was a rise in the price. Hemade profits to a considerable extent. As he had to keep
moving about constantly, the provision shop with theannexures was taken care of by his father who gave up goingto Bhivandi.
Anjaneyulu became emancipated by moving from placeto place on his cycle for procuring the grain. He who hadgrown from poverty did not care for hunger and tiredness.Once he knew the trick of making money he did not botherabout other inconveniences. Finally he began to ignore hiswife also.
Anjaneyulu decided to buy a Suzuki vehicle with themoney he had saved during many years foregoing food andrest. He calculated that he would be able to move betweenvillages and towns comfortably on his Suzuki and also makegreater profits. If he told his parents about the vehicle, he knewthey would object and protest saying he could as well build ahouse with that money. So he bought the vehicle and parkedit in front of his house all of a sudden. He told his parents thatit belonged to a friend and that it was not his. He could not butreveal the truth on the fourth day and the parents raised a hueand cry. But they were happy on seeing the red Suzuki glowingbrightly in the shade and thought their prestige had grownbecause of it. They pretended anger thinking that their praisewould get into his head and that he would go in for otherluxuries.
One day Anjaneyulu took his wife Varalakshmi on a rideto the town. People who saw her on the Suzuki saidVaralakshmi was fortunate. They said that the time she setfoot into her in-law’s house was an auspicious time.Varalakshmi felt great joy hearing their comments.
Next day her friends asked her thousand and onequestions. Anjaneyulu’s was the third motor cycle in the
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village. Among the three owners they kew only theAnjaneyulus.
“When the mo-bike ran on stones and pits shaking youup, were’nt you afraid?” asked Parvathi, her neighbour.
“Yes” said Varalakshmi smiling.
“You put your arms around his waist as the heroines doin movies. Didn’t you?”
Varalakshmi smiled again recollecting her rainbow ride.
“Did he buy jasmines for you?” Aruna wanted to know.
“See, he bought flowers worth two rupees”. She showedthe faded flowers.
“I didn’t remove them from my hair last night. So theyare very withered”, she continued.
Five or six of her friends, kept laughing for a while. Shedid not know why they laughed. After a while she too joinedthem in the laughter.
“How did you feel when you sat on the Suzuki?”
“It was soft and comfortable.”
“As in the bus?”
“How soft? As soft as this?” Sita asked pinchingVaralakshmi’s thigh. They all laughed again.
“You both sat in the cinema hall, holding your hands.Didn’t?” you Sita asked recollecting a scene in one of themovies she had seen.
Varalakshmi recollected her husband tickling her every nowand then but nodded her head in the negative.
“You will bear a child in no time,” Sita said passing herhand on Varalakshmis belly and kissed her.
With the arrival of the Suzuki in that street, the prestigeof the family grew. Everyone started requesting Anjaneyuluto bring them sundry things from the town, ten kilometersaway. People made it a point to talk to Bhoolakshmi withrespect. Anjaneyulu who was humble by nature felt happy tohelp them. He brought from the town whatever they wantedand handed them at their residences. They too felt highlygrateful to him.
The Suzuki brought more friends for Varalakshmi. Younggirls who felt shy to tell Anjaneyulu what they wanted gotthem by placing their indents through Varalakshmi.
A year passed. The Suzuki had grown old. Anjaneyuluprospered so much that he thought of buying the secondSuzuki.
The parents of Anjaneyulu were very happy. As he wasnot getting fatigued by riding the mo-bike, as he earned wellhe ate good food and looked improved in his physic andappearance. The in-laws and her parents were a little unhappythat Varalakshmi had not yet conceived. Some more monthspassed.
Anjaneyulu took his wife to her parents for the Deevalifestival. He did not take her back even after ten days. Herfather felt a little uneasy for the first time for the delay. It wouldnot take more than ten minutes to cover the distance betweenthe two villages. His son-in-law did not visit them even onceduring those ten days.
Yellamma, Varalakshmi’s mother asked her “Did you, byany chance, quarrel with him before you came here?”
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“No”, replied Varalakshmi
“Why didn’t your husband come even once during theseten days?” the mother asked repeatedly.
Varalakshmi got scared at the questions asked by hermother. She started crying and said she did not know thereason. Yellamma suspected some evil, as her right eyelidflapped. She was disturbed. Lakshminarayana felt hurt thathis sister also did not visit them.
Husband and wife, between themselves, argued that theother should go to the son-in-law’s house. Going to the houseof their son-in-law to find the reason was a blow to theirprestige and self-respect. Yellamma questioned her husbandwhy he should fight shy to go to his sister’s house whileLakshminarayana asked her the same question.
Finally Yellamma made the visit. She stayed there theentire day. They hosted her with toddy, mutton, puris andextended all other formalities. They made her stay there forthe night also. In the morning she had tea before she startedhome. No one raised the topic about Varalakshmi. At last,collecting her wits Yellavva opened the topic.
Anjaneyulu’s parents looked at each other. “What do weknow? Ask your son-in-law,” they suggested. Yellamma waitedtill Anjaneyulu returned from the shop and asked him thereason.
“I have absolutely no time, mother-in-law. The numberof customers at the shop has increased greatly. I’ll somehowfind time and go there in a day or two,” he replied. Yellammacould detect in his words a lack of interest and worry. She hadtreated him all this while as her own son. But now he startedtalking like a son-in-law. Tears ebbed in her eyes.
“Why tears, sister-in-law – what happened” askedBhoolakshmi going to her in all anxiety. She wiped the tearsof Yellamma and herself shed tears too. Yellamma left with nowords of farewell being spoken.
Sankranthi festival came and went. Her son-in-law didnot turn up. Varalakshmi did not go to her in-laws. In themeanwhile Varalakshmi’s two brothers met Anjaneyulu andreturned. They got the same reply from Anjaneyulu that hewould visit them when he found time.
A rumour floated in the air. Some one askedLakshminarayana whether it was true. He was flabergast.
“It appears Anjaneyulu wants to divorce Varalakshmi. Isthat true? What happened? Why did they quarrel? Why was itallowed to reach the stage of giving a divorce?” Many otherquestions also cropped up.
Questions which were never thought of in life. Questionsthat had no answers. Was there a quarrel at all? Why divorce?Lakshminarayana was in a confused state of mind. Heexperienced chest pain that night for the first time. Yellammawas sobbing all the time. The sons and daughters-in-law didnot detect that their father suffered a mild heart attack. Thefather did not tell them. For one hour there was severe pain.The old couple consoled each other. The pain subsidedgradually. The daughters-in-law observed silence. The sonsassured and consoled the old parents that they would go thenext day and find out what the matter was.
No one gave thought to the sorrow of Varalakshmi intheir cries. Varalakshmi was in the habit of suppressing heragony, whatever the pain or the difficulties. She never cried.Such a girl was not found in the house. Everyone was agitated.
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Varalakshmi had crouched in the dark store room among theold earthern pots and cried her heart out.
They searched for Varalakshmi at many places andheaved a sigh of relief when they came to know she was inthe house. They were afraid she might have jumped into awell or in a tank. Her brothers consoled her giving her courage.
“Are you crying for such a small thing? Do you believeif some one starts a rumour which has no base? We will gotomorrow and bring him back,” said her brothers. Thoughthey said so they suspected some evil might befall.
Anjaneyulu gave them no clear assurance. His parentssaid they had no idea about his thoughts. Lakshminarayanaand Yellamma went together and returned dejected.
After a few days an elderly person of their caste belongingto Anjaneyulu’s place brought news at which the parents ofVaralakshmi and all her people were shocked.
“Next Sunday a Panchayati of our caste is being held.Anjaneyulu made it clear that he is not willing to live withVaralakshmi. He has applied for a divorce. The decision isleft to the elders. He is prepared to pay back the money spenton the marriage and other expenses. Come to our place alongwith five elders in the morning on Sunday next.”
The village elder left. Lakshminarayana and others forgotto offer him hospitality with tea. Why is the life of their daughtertaking this tragic turn though they had prayed to unseen gods?“What sin have I committed to face this injustice, oh, god?”cried Lakshminarayana. The neighbours collected aroundthem in large numbers. The daughters-in-law and other womenwere keeping guard over Varalakshmi to prevent her fromtaking to drastic action.
The Panchayati was continuing. That was the third sitting.The same elders. The same questions. The same answers. Theissue remained the same for two months.
“Why do you want to opt for a divorce?”
“I don’t like to live with her.”
“Did you have a quarrel?”
“No”.
“Did you observe or hear any bad reports about her?”
“She is my wife – If anyone else had asked this questionI would have slashed his tongue.”
“But then doesn’t she love you?”
“She loves me.”
“Then why do you say you don’t want to live with her?Is it because you have no children?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
“I don’t want to live with her.”
“What is this stupidity? Without giving reason for dislikinghow can you be permitted to divorce her? She is your wife,not your mistress. This is not a game children play.”
The discussion and questioning went on withoutproducing any result inspite of everyone being patient.
“Why don’t you like her?”
“She is deaf. I have to shout at the pitch of my voice if Iwant to tell her anything.”
“Didn’t you know that she was deaf at the time of your
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marriage?”
“I knew”
“You married her having known about her defect.”
“At that time I had no knowledge of things. My fatherand mother brought about this marriage.”
“You married her then without knowledge of things. Nowthat you have knowledge of things you want to divorce her.Suppose your sister is deaf and your brother-in-law wants todivorce her, how do you feel? Don’t you feel anxious aboutyour sister’s life?”
Silence.
“She is closely related to you! The moment she was bornit was decided that she should be your wife. She too had nothingin her mind except you. You know everything in such a closealliance. How can you say ‘no’ to her now? You do haveresponsibility as your father-in-law has given you a status bythis marriage. As the husband and as the maternal uncle of thegirl you have your responsibility in the matter,” argued anotherelder remembering with tears how his sister’s life ended in atragedy.
Anjaneyulu was not moved by this narration.
“How untrustworthy you are! You have no feeling ofgratitude also. A dog leads a better life. You have eaten theirfood and have grown up with their help. Yet you say youwant to divorce her. You will suffer for this sin. You will die amiserable death”, cursed an elderly person.
The elders sat again after the panchayathi was postponedfor a month. The same old questions, the same old answersand discussion. A few new suggestions to find a way out were
made.
“If you want, marry another woman. Let Varalakshmienjoy the status of the first wife. You would have won thecredit of having given her a good life. She is not someonecome from a different and unknown family. She was broughtup as your wife from her birth. We the elders will say that youmarried again as your first wife did not bear children. If bothyour wives bear children we will be happy. She will live herlife and will not be a burden on you. Your uncle will provideeverything for her.” The elders made the suggestion.
“I don’t like your suggestion. I will marry after I divorceher.”
Discussions started again. The elders who were tired ofthe proceedings began to calculate the expenses involved forthe divorce.
“I don’t want a single pie. I haven’t given him money forinvestment to take it back. I treated him as one of my sons. Asfor my daughter, things will take shape as ordained. I’ll thinkthat my son behaved and acted in this manner. I will not takea single pie from him. She is my sister and he my brother-in-law,” said Lakshminarayana as he cried inconsolably.
The atmosphere all round the place where the panchayatiwas held turned into one of grave sadness. The elders weresurprised at a divorce without demanding wedding expensesand other expenditure. They also objected to it. The divorcedocuments were redied and signatures were taken.
Anjaneyulu married a beautiful girl and received dowryto the tune of a lakh of rupees. He became a father within twoyears. He built a big bungalow. He bought a big shop in thebusy market area and shifted his shop into it. He was
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negotiating to buy a lorry.
Lakshminarayana got tired going round to find a husbandfor Varalakshmi. Generally it was difficult to find a groom fora girl. One can imagine how problematic it was to find a matchfor a girl who was deaf and was a divorcee.
The marriage of Varalakshmi with a weaver who workedon daily wages and one who had nothing to call his own, wasquietly celebrated in his house by Lakshminarayana. Themarriage was celebrated but running the house was difficultfor the couple. Lakshminarayana realised soon that he had totake care of the newly weds.
The sons, whose families were growing, started tocomplain that their father was bestowing all his wealth on theirsister. The daughters-in-law remained silent out of respect forthe elderly man. But he was hurt at the reaction of his sons.
“She is your own sister and born to me. You are not ableto tolerate when I spend on her what I earned. What help willyou give her after we are gone? If she had been a son likeyou, she would have shared the property like you. If she hadbeen your daughter, would you treat her as you feel now?”Yellamma scolded her sons with tears in her eyes. Her sonsfelt sympathy for her sister at her words.
Varalakshmi had children. She took care of her husbandlike one of her children. She would not mind if he did not goto work. She would not question if he borrowed money forhis drink. They wanted to buy a house next to theirs when itwas offered to be sold. The owners built a bungalow in thetown and wanted to sell it to known persons. They did notcharge for the house but sold the site for its value. The son-in-law appreciated the love his in-laws had for him. He started to
work for a living.
Yellamma was worried at the deteriorating health of herson-in-law who was growing thin and weak. Her sons did notbother. They asked her to stop him from drinking. Beyondthat they did nothing. Yellamma took her son-in-law to thetown. All tests were made including X-ray examination. Thedoctor said that it was T.B. in an advanced stage.
They returned, buying all medicines. Lakshminarayanawas stunned to hear the medical report. “Mother! You said Iwas very fortunate. Is this what is meant by fortune?” askedVaralakshmi sobbing.
“You are a fortunate girl by all means. But others aresnatching it away from you,” replied Yellamma as tears rolleddown her check.
His darling daughter filled every house with fortune. Itwas only after she was born their small house got convertedinto a big house. They had now three other bungalows.Whatever she touched turned into gold.
The whole night Lakshminarayana cried wondering whyVaralakshmi’s life was running into grave problems. No oneknew when he got the second stroke. By morning he hadstiffened into a corpse on his cot. There was wailing in thehouse. Friends and relatives were informed. Preparation forthe obsequies commenced. Anjaneyulu, who was treated astheir own son, did not turn up. He had no love for his father-in-law when he was alive. Why show it after his death, askedsome. The body was taken away to the cremation ground.Yellamma and Varalakshmi cried as if their hearts would break.
A generation ended and a system came to an end. Withinsix months the three sons distributed their properties among
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LOVE ETERNAL
It was evening by the time Suvarna reached her hut. Shehad left in the morning to work as a coolie at a building site.Her two children who were playing in the dirt ran to her onseing her. “I told you that you should be reading and writingtill I came. Why are you playing?” she asked them annoyedbut held them close to her lovingly.
She washed her feet, lighted the kitchen fire and arrangedthe childrens' books in order. She swept the floor and startedcleaning rice for cooking.
Bhagyarekha who lived a few streets away came askingwhy she was late that day.
Suvarna wanted to tell her that the new head-worker wasteasing her but on second thoughts desisted from telling herso.
“Hari Babu came for you. He sat in our house for a whileas you were not available. He left half an hour ago,” informedBhagyarekha.
Suvarna cursed the head-worker who teased her for morethan half-an hour. Hari Babu came after a long time – afterthree years. Because of the head-worker, she could not meethim and lost the opportunity. She herself had distanced HariBabu from her. She did not know whether what she did was a
themselves and lived separately as three families. The threeof them occupied a bungalow each and settled down. Theirmother decided to live her own life as she did not want to takeshelter with any one of them. The model socialist joint familyended with the death of the father. Varalakshmi got lost as apoor woman among the poor.
Prajashakti Daily, June 1999.
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sacrifice or a feeling of helplessness. She felt pained now.Yet, she was sure she did the right thing.
“Did he say anything?” Suvarna asked without revealingher joy.
"'I’ll come again. Ask her to stay at home,' he instructedand left,” said Bhagyarekha.
“Did he treat my children affectionately?”
“Yes. He called the children who were playing in thedust. He talked to them for a while and gave them money tobuy what they wanted. He gave me this amount for the schoolfee of the children and these Jasmines”, said Bhagyarekha.She gave the money to Suvarna and left.
The children sat before the lamp to study.
Suvarna cooked food and bathed. She wore the best sareeshe had. Except one or two, all her sarees were second handsarees. But strangely, she looked attractive whatever saree shewore. Particularly the serene expression on her face and ahint of a smile that spoke of the rounded completeness of herpersonality, easily held the attention of people.
‘Hari Babu,’ she sighed.
Hari Babu worked as a supervisor in an apartmentconstruction company for some time. Suvarna came to knowof him at the construction site.
Hari Babu! He was a beautiful dream in her life. He wasa sacred being in her imaginary world. The dream grew oldand began to fade. Suvarna reminisced.
On meeting her for the first time he had told her thatthere were blossomed flowers in her smile. She smiled again.
“When you smile melodious musical notes are heard in myheart,” he had said.
“I wonder how I could be alive all these days withoutyour acquaintance, Suvarna,”.
She smiled again and he adjusted the ringlets of her hair.
“I can’t imagine life without you”
“I am with you now”
“I need you”
“I am yours. When did I say ‘no’?”
“You should be mine for ever.”
“I’ve been with you whenever you wanted.”
“Let’s marry and leave this place.”
“Hari Babu! I’ll come to you whenever you want me.Why talk of marriage?”
“That’s not it, Suvarna. I will get authority over you onlyafter marriage. My life will also get settled.”
“Hari Babu! If we marry and you gain your right overme, I may not be needed by you so much as now. You mayget disinterested in me within a short time. Like all husbandsyou may hold your sway on me and love may be lost.”
“Suvarna! Do you equate me with all husbands?!” Hegot annoyed.
“No. you are my Hari Babu. You are my dream world.”
“Suvarna! Your love should be flowing eternally for me,on me!”
They had embraced each other.
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“Suvarna! You are my only love. I know none else.”
“Hari Babu! You know I am married. I have a son.”
“Let it be so. But let us get away from here and marry.Your son will be with us.”
Suvarna postponed marriage by giving him some excuseor the other. He felt annoyed and disappointed.
Days passed. Her husband kept beating and abusing her.She bore them for Hari Babu’s sake. Why did she not get ridof him? His smile was sweet and pure like jasmine. His heartwas filled with true love. There was no lust in his eyes but hislove was like the life-giving oasis in a desert.
Why did she not go away with him? He was her life. Shewas anxious that he should not experience the thorns of life.Will his life sail smoothly if he eloped with a married woman?That was her fear. Her previous experience terrified her.
Her husband, was he a husband at all? He was running atea shop. She got acquainted with him when he frequentedthe tea shop. He was married and had children.
She knew all about him and yet fell into his trap. Did hethrow the net or did she yield to him because of circumstances?She wanted a male companion. She needed protection fromothers.
How many nights she had kept crying! Could she nowcry at all?! Father could not celebrate her elder sister’s marriage.He could not buy a husband for her sister when men got soldlike cattle. Father had to work as a textile mill worker givingup his profession which did not feed him. He had two children.For some years things ran smoothly. Then the mill was closeddown. Thousands of workers lost their livelihood. Their family
also suffered. The place where they were born could give themnothing. They could not save anything at the new place towhich they went. They moved and migrated.
Father took up tailoring on a small scale. What he earnedwas not sufficient for their food. Where was the question ofsaving? Movement from place to place…..
Her elder sister waited for her father to perform hermarriage and at twenty five she eloped. She had her doubtsthat the man she chose may leave her to her fate soon. Yet shetook the decision. She did not see them again after leavingthem. She lived alone for six months after he left her. Shestarted going to lodges whenever a call came. After two yearsshe lived with another man. He had children and was a slaveto vices. He used to pester her for money. She had to visit thelodges. She tried to leave him after she had two children. Buthe did not allow her to leave him. She was earning moneyeveryday.
Suvarna realised that her father could not celebrate hermarriage. Then there was the stigma of her sister’s elopement.Her mother knew about her affairs but could do nothing aboutit. She eloped with Sekhar. He was a good person but lifetempted him. He knew that her parents would be helpless ifhe left her in the lurch. Sekhar told her about his parents andsister and his fears about their life. He said he would spend afew days with them and return. She knew that he would notreturn. He married a girl who brought him dowry. With thatmoney he celebrated his sister’s marriage. After Sekhar lefther she managed to make a living all by herself. Then she metSuribabu. Now Sekhar was a big man. But he cannot showher his face. As Sekhar was a good man she expected that hewould make her his second wife. But he moved about avoiding
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her. Now if she left with Hari Babu, she was afraid that the oldstory may repeat itself. She did not want to face that situation.The force of circumstances would make Hari Babu also actlike Sekhar. He will be attracted towards his new wife. Thatthought made her reject his offer.
She was by then the second wife of Suribabu. To add toit the difficulties poverty had created for her. Then there werethe restrictions and limitations a woman’s life entailed. Nowshe was a married woman and had a hut. She had a little placeall for herself in the town.
She could not overcome her difficulties. Suribabu didnot give a paisa at home. He knocked off what little she earned.She could not but go for work, go to lodges. She was calledonly when a family type was required.
Her decision to live by physical labour alone did notfructify. If she went to work at construction sites she hadproblems from the head-workers. The wages were also low. Ifshe wanted wages to be paid everday she had to yield to theadvances made by men. She preferred satisfying the individualcustomers who paid her well than get far less by working hardthe whole day. She had to keep working as a coolie atconstruction sites to win the esteem of society.
Hari babu entered her life when she was working at abuilding site. He was an innocent man. She used to hug himas she hugged her children to her heart. As days passed hedeveloped his ideals.
“Suvarna! How long will you continue living this aimlesslife? Should your life be reduced to this wretched level simplybecause your father could not give dowry to a groom? Let’smarry, Suvarna!”
“Hari Babu! I hate people who sympathise me and mycondition. Don’t marry me feeling pity for me.”
“Suvarna! Not with pity. I ask you because I love you.You gave life to me, to me who was leading an aimless life.Let us marry. No one depends on me. My brothers areemployed and earn. My parents live with them. We will befree birds.”
“Hari Babu! I will not be able to bear if I am left a destituteas Sekhar did. The reason for Sekhar to distance himself fromme was his marriage. He snatched away the meaning of mylife. If he had not married he would not have been branded acheat. He would have kept meeting me as a friend. I do notwish to lose you in that way. I need your affection. I mustpossess the feeling that you are mine wherever you are. Youshould always remain a good man,” said Suvarna smiling,suppressing all her agony in her heart.
From that day onwards Hari Babu grew serious–mindedgiving up his playful nature.
“Suvarna! Why do you talk of things when I say that weshould marry? Don’t you feel happy with me? Does he makeyou feel happier?”
Suvarna sobbed. “Hari Babu! Happiness does not lie insex. Satisfaction has something to do with the heart. Whentwo hearts meet satisfaction and happiness are attained andthat feeling conquers every other thing. The heart bleeds whenthe inner satisfaction has not been achieved inspite of meresex. The love you have extended to me will not be forgottenby me in my life. The moments we spent together are themost beautiful and blissful moments of my life. Thesememories will be cherished by me all my life.”
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“If so, why do you reject marriage?”
“Hari Babu! I am older than you in age. I have seen theworld. I don’t know for how long you will be enamoured ofme. I am afraid you too will change after fulfilling your desire.I can’t think of you as a bad man. Unlike Sekhar, my memoriesof you should remain ideal. You should marry a girl you like,whom your parents like. You should see me in her. I shouldhave a place in your heart unknown to others.”
“Suvarna! What is it you talk? I love you. If at all I marry,I’ll marry you.”
There was a heated discussion. Hari Babu got very angrywith Suvarna for treating him as an innocent man and for hermoralising.
“Do you possess any sense at all? Do you think I am akid. Do you consider my love for you something like the gamechildren play? Tell me whether you agree to marry me.” HariBabu spoke in a severe tone. He raised his hand to hit her inhis impatience. Whenever Suribabu raised his hand, shetrembled. When Hari Babu raised his hand she felt happy.How good it would be if he slapped her cheeks! The raisedhand was the evidence of his love for her. Hari Babu controlledhimself and lowered his hand. She was disappointed that hedid not hit her.
“Hari Babu! Let your love for me remain in your heartfor ever. Let me be a lovely dream in your reminiscences.When did I say ‘no’ to you?”
Days rolled by. Suribabu hated the second son becausehe did not resemble him. She knew that she wanted to convertHari Babu into a child as part of her life. That Hari Babu himself
should change into a boy and play in her lap, that she shouldsuckle him. “Little” Hari Babu will be the emblem of theirlove.
“This fellow is my son. You yourself as my son…….”She smiled mischievously.
She knew how much Hari Babu grew in his ownestimation at the birth of his son. How much his heart over-flowed with the joy of self-confidence.
Hari Babu gave up his job in the building constructioncompany. He secured a better job. He left the town. His visitsgrew less.
He became a father within a year of his marriage.
How strange was his behaviour on the day his life took anew turn!
“Suvarna! You gave me life. You gave me selfconfidence. I can’t forget your help in my life.
you are the queen of my heart. You are the noble personwho shared your love and made me a human being from mydesultory life,” he had said and fallen prostrate at her feet.
“What’s this Hari Babu! What are you doing? Why doyou compare me with a woman who lost her chastity, andwith deities? It is wrong to do so,” she had said lifting up.
“Suvarna! I am offering obeisance to my goddess! I fallprostrate before my deity,” he had said and again touched herfeet with tears in his eyes. But they were tears of joy. He toldher that he had been taken as a working partner in a companythat built apartments. She felt happy. He brought new clothesto her and the children.
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When Hari Babu grew distant from her, Suribabu’sviolence increased on her. As long as Hari Babu kept comingto her, Suribabu controlled himself with the fear that she mightrun away with him.
Suribabu got his children by his wife admitted in a privateschool and the children born to Suvarna in a governmentschool. Though he put them in a school, he made them workas cleaners in a hotel. Suvarna could do nothing except cursehim and cry for her fate.
A glow and a chapter in her life ended. The children weregrowing. They were her hope. What will they say when theycome of age? Will Suribabu leave her by then? She told himwith all definiteness that she would not go to the lodges. Thatshe would not give him money, that she would educate herchildren and not send them to the hostel. With that Suribabumade his visits to her less frequent.
Now she passed through a phase of loneliness when shecould not share her problems and difficulties with anyone else.Sometimes she wondered whether she had committed a mistakeby distancing herself from Hari Babu. Was it love? Sacrifice?Helplessness? How would it have been if she had marriedhim? Perhaps her life would not have been so distressful. Evenif he had left her, perhaps there might have been a chance tolive on his name, as his wife. Did she destroy the opportunityof his calling her mother and father as mother-in-law andfather-in-law! Were they not fortunate to be called so by him?Had they sinned so much to be deprived of such a privilege?Her father’s sight had grown weak. He was not able to continuehis tailoring job successfully. If she had married Hari Babu,he would have made her father at least a watchman at somesite……..,father! how unfortunate you are ! You are
unfortunate in not getting called ‘father-in-law’, she said toherself.
She should discuss with Hari Babu many issues. Thechildren should be put in a different school. New clothesshould be purchased. She must ask him whether he wouldhelp her financially to some extent. She must learn how it waspossible to build a bridge between love and reality. He hadsaid he would marry her. Now he had children. She shouldask him whether he would take her atlest as his mistress. Sheshould ask him whether he was prepared to call her motherand father as mother-in-law and father-in-law. It would beenough if he gave her a chance to live on his name. He neednot fend her. She would live by working as a coolie. If heagreed to her proposal she would ask her parents to live withher. If he agreed…… if he accepted…….it was enough……..
The children slept off without eating food. She adornedher head with the jasmines given by Bhagyarekha. She waitedfor Hari Babu.
If Hari Babu did not respond to her wish to live on hisname. It was better if Hari Babu did not turn up than beingtold by him that her proposal was not to his liking. Atleast shewould be left with the option of dreaming about her desiresand hopes. Hari Babu would come. He had to come. He wouldagree. Even if he did not agree to her idea, she would live byherself on his name. Her second son 'Chinna' was the evidenceof her desire. What was the need for someone else to give theevidence?
She half closed the door and took a nap. She slept off thenight. Hari Babu did not come. It was morning. Hari Babu didnot visit her. Suvarna got up. A sweet dream melted away. Ahope got erased. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
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Hari Babu could not come because of some urgent work.Suvarna was awaiting him expecting him to come sometimein the night. How difficult it was to live without some hope!She thought that her hope should not end in despair.
Days passed. Suvarna awaited his arrival thinking thathe should not come. She thought that things took the presentshape as she having desired to live on his name. Hereafter sheshould not ask him anything. She should not get disappointedhaving asked. She should not expect anything from him. Thesweet memories should remain for ever a pleasant dream. Lethim not come. Suvarna conditioned her mind to the fact thather dreams and hopes should not get erased. Yet she kept onwaiting for Hari Babu. The flow of her love for him keptrunning in the form of tears – into a rivulet. Before the childrenwoke up in the mornings she cried in great agony, “mother!O father! Why did my life take this course? Should lives besacrified for the inability to shell down dowries? The manwho closed down the mill is prospering. No one could doanything against him. Father! Mother! Why did you give birthto me?….” Bhagyarekha came now and then and wiped hertears.
There was at least one person, Bhagyarekha, to consoleSuvarna. Who was there to console Bhagyarekha? Her tearsgot dried up. The world did not know that the two were sisters.They were living without knowing the truth. If they came toknow of it-many problems would arise……Bhagyarekhadesired that Suvarna’s dreams should come true. Though sheknew that she would be disappointed, Suvarna was not ableto give up her hope…….
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TELANGANA HEREDITY
“I don’t want that village alliance. I am not a little girl tobe told which match would benefit me. Why don’t you listento me when I say I’ll not marry till I secure a Group I post ora lecturer’s job? Each person has his or her own assessmentof life. I may not be as experienced as you are. I am workingas a teacher. I am also working in a village school. Don’t Iknow the mentality and attitudes of villagers?”
Kiranmayi possed M.Sc., M.Phil., and B.Ed. degrees andwas a gold medalist. She was overcome by grief and anger.She cried inconsolably thinking that her humility destroyedher life. She could not sleep in the night. She was lost inhopeless despondency and did not know how to get rid of thealliance that was proposed.
“Mother! Instead of marrying you who hailed fromJagityala, father should have married one of his close relativeswhom he had known for long in the village. Why should yourbrother be proposed for me now when father himself did notprefer such an alliance forty years ago?”
Lakshmi Bai, Kiranmayi’s mother was taken aback ather daughter’s argument. She cursed herself that things hadcome to such a pass because of the stubbornness of the oldin-laws. Rajesham, Kiranmayi’s father, was a lecturer in the
9 degree college at Karimnagar. He kept his family in Korutlafor the sake of his old parents and visited Korutla once a week.He had three children. Being the last child, Kiranmayi waspampered. The first son worked in Mumbai in a company. Hemarried a girl from Sholapur and visited his place now andthen. The second boy settled in Hyderabad and was planningto go abroad.
“Tatayya! Did you develop love for villages now whichlove you did not possess all these years! If you have true anddeep love for villages, sell this building and settle in a village.What happiness will I enjoy by marrying a man who has threeyounger sisters? Our earnings will not be sufficient to spendon their marriages and deliveries. If you say you would die ifI don’t agree to this marriage, better die now. Should my futurelife be sacrificed for the sake of you who may not live for ayear or two more? Do you call this love? This is not love. It isthe authority you have been enjoying high- handedly. This isarrogance. If you love me dearly you will bless me even if Imarry outside the caste or religion. That does not mean I wantto elope with somebody. If I love a man I will bring him toyou and introduce him to you all. When you did not objectthe selection made by brothers regarding their wives, whyshould there be an objection in my case?”
Gangarajam, the grandfather and Lingamma hergrandmother kept quiet thinking that Kiranmayi would gosilent after shouting for some time. Their silence incensedKiranmayi furthur.
“Tatayya! You feel proud that you had taken part in thefreedom struggle. You loved yourself more than you love the
* Tatayya means grand father. It is an affectionate way of addressing thegrand father or very old persons.
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people. You have reaped the benefits ten times for what youdid long ago. You stopped there without progress because ofyour rank selfishness. If you had continued your struggle,society would have developed further. The post of the Sarpanchappeared a big post to you. Why did you not become an M.L.A.or an M.P.? If you had not been selfish why did you sell yourproperties in the village and settle in Korutla? As a result didnot the village society go thirty years backwards?”
Kiranmayi washed her face and got dressed. Her motherserved her steaming food.
“Mother! Go and tell them to-day itself. Tell them that Idid not approve of the match. Tell them not to come tomorrowfor the engagement ritual.Tatayya! You Tatamma! You broghtthe match. So you also go and tell them…..If I miss the bus Ihave to apply leave….” So saying she walked out. Her motherand others felt that the storm had passed with her departure.
She could not concentrate on teaching in the classes. Shewas worried as to what she should do if the match was notcancelled.
As soon as Kiranmayi left, Lakshmi Bai served food tothe old couple and started out. “If we had thought of actingafter the wedding invitations were distributed, we would havelost our face. She refused to listen to you however much youtried to convince her.”
Gangarajam and Lingamma did not relish to eat so early.Moreover they were worried and disturbed at the attitude oftheir granddaughter. They ate a little hurridly and boarded thebus.
• • •
In their days Lingamma and Gangarajam were praised
as veritable Parvathi and Parameswara, the divine couple.Gangarajam was now eighty and Lingamma seventy five.Lingamma was seven years old when she was married toGangarajam. They had been man and wife for more them sixtyfive years. They were an inseparable pair and no one couldthink of the one without the other. But in recent times theywere worried who would go first. “I’ll go first. I can’t livealone without you,” said Gangarajam. But Lingamma wouldsay it would be good if she went first.
“Did you note what things she said?” asked Gangarajamin the rattle of the bus, expecting sympathy from his wife.
“What’s wrong in what she said? I’ ve been telling youfrom the beginning not to force her. She inherited all yourqualities”.
Gangarajam felt hurt. He was pained at the grand daughterbeing supported and he being compared to her.
“Did I oppose my elders? Did I talk so rashly any time?”The old man.
“Didn’t you revolt against your elders? Did you heedthe words of your father not to meddle with doras, theoverlords…Forget the slavish lives you have lived. We havegained independence. All are equal now. To whom is heoverlord? If you ask me to stay at home I’ll do so. If you wantme to go my ways, I’ll go. But don’t make me a coward.What’s the greatness of his life? If all the villages spit at him,he will be blown off. Did you not attack them in that manner?”A smile danced on the wrinkled lips of Lingamma.
Lingamma’s words took Gangarajam back sixty years.His understanding of things changed completely after heattended the Andhra Mahasabha meetings at Jagityala, Korutla,
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Ciricilla and Metpalli in those days.
In the Andhra Mahasabha Movement he came into contactwith many leaders like Burgula Rama Krishna Rao, SwamyRamananda Tirtha, Suravaram Pratapa Reddy, MadapatiHanumantha Rao, Guntuka Narasaiah Pantulu, EkkaladeviLakshmana, Gangula Bhoomaiah, Vattikota Aluvar Swamy,K.V. Ranga Reddy, Chennaraju Gangaram, Kasam SivarajaGupta, Baddam Yellareddy, Butti Rajaram, Amballa Rajaram,the socialist Tirumala Rao and others.
Till then his village was his world. Now he realised thatthere was a world far bigger than his village, a country biggerthan these overlords, there was the British Empire where thesun never set, there was the Socialist Russia, there was theAndhra Mahasabha, there was the Congress, there was Gandhi.He went through many books distributed through the LibraryMovement. Whenever he went to Jagityala, he went throughcopies of Golakonda Patrika the daily news paper.
Though the Nizam repealed bonded labour in 1922, theoverlords did not give up their hold on the villagers. To collectrevenue and to run the administration the Nizam dependedon the rich and the overlords or chiefs called ‘doras’. TheNizam had hoped that if he appointed people from upper classfamilies and the wealthy people, they would not be greedy.But it were they who plundered the money. Caste and wealthhelped them to torment the poor. They exploited the innocentpeople, made them into bonded labourers, enjoyed luxuriesand grew into lazy officials. As a result the Nizam State fellbehind other states in the country and the government got abad name. If the poor had been given jobs they would haveworked hard, being afraid of the people and the government.So many atrocities would not have been perpetrated. The
Nizam had thought of taking Ambedkar as the PrincipalSecretary, but perhaps the wealthy persons prevented thisappointment by the Nizam.
Gangarajam stayed with his mother’s mother at Jagityalaand pursued his studies. By 1927 there was a high schoolestablished by the Nizam government at Jagitayala. A BengaliBanerjee was the Headmaster when Gangarajam was thestudent there. He had observed from close quarters theVandemataram Movement and anti-separation BengalMovement in 1905. Banerjee used to talk with the teachers inwhom he had faith and some students about the abovemovement. Gangarajam was one of the students who heardthe talks by Banerjee.
Of course Gangarajam did not understand what was beingexplained. But the sessions did not go waste. He used to feelenthused when he learnt of the national movement, aboutGandhi, Subhas Chandra Bose, the reformation activities etc.But he did not find enough time to read while weaving on thehandloom. The weaving pit did not release him after his studiesalso. Gangarajam chose agriculture leaving the weavingprofession which pinned him down to the pit.
Gangarajam’s father’s younger brother Chinna Lingamwho had gone to Bombay brought, along with money,Bombay cultue also. He brought with him beautiful muslindhotis, soft leather chappals, the musical instrument sarangi,coats, khadi caps, Marvadi black caps etc. The village overlordTukka Rao also did not possess such costly clothes. TukkaRao’s best clothes were those which Gangarajam’s father hadwoven on his loom.
Differences between Tukka Rao and Gangarajam’s fatherarose as Chinna Lingam handled agriculture as well as
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weaving. Tukka Rao grew jealous of the prosperity of ChinnaLingam.
Lingaiah argued that Tukka Rao should pay labour
charges for removing silt from his part of the land which waspart of the tank in the summer season. The villages formed
into a sangam, a trust or an association. Gangarajam’s sisterwas born at that time and she was named ‘Sangam’ in honour
of the association formed then. The communists of AndhraMahasabha supported Lingaiah.
Chinna Lingam, was active because of his trade unionexperience of Bombay. Some one murdered Chinna Lingam
one night. Tukka Rao bribed the Tahasildar, the policePatelto escape from the case. Though Rangarajam’s father chose
to keep silent, people supported the association and attendedthe meetings.
When Lakshmi Bai came to live with Gangarajam, therewas still fear in the family after Chinna Lingam’s murder.
Gangarajam started life cautiously. There was AndhraMahasabha and also Arya Samaj which gave him courage and
strength.
Many people got converted as Christians and Muslims
not being able to withstand the injustices, bonded labour,excommunication from religion and such other indignities
perpetrated by the overlords and their stooges. Gangarajamrealised that the Aryasamaj could do nothing except take back
the converts into Hinduism by purifying and sanctifying them.His father’s younger brother’s children embraced
mohamadnism and left the village.
How and why the conflict between the overlords and the
Nizam started no one knew. As a result many people left the
village and ran away. Later the overlords themselves ran away.
They left the villages, went to towns and began to earn there.
With the advent of razakars, decoities, rapes, killings andburning of villages commenced. There was no security andso Gangarajam who was suffering from malaria took refugein his grandmother’s house at Jagityala. It was rumoured thatthe sons of Gangarajam’s younger brother were involved inthe killing of Tukka Rao and the raping of his daughter in theguise of razakars.
The situation in Jagityala was worse. No one knew whendeath would overtake them. Some local muslims joined handswith Arabs and took out an armed procession. They drewdetailed plans to kill moneyed people and the distribution ofthe booty. All over Telangana such plans and agreements weremade. The Hindus also took out processions with their arms.Plans for attacks and counter attacks were drawn all over.Lingamma who was attending on her husband Gangarajamwas terribly shaken by the happenings. One night she wentout and faced a group of razakars. As she answered them inTelugu she was surrounded and carried away and raped.
Fortunately Police Action took place about this time. Therazakars disappeared. If the arrival of the Indian army hadbeen delayed by a couple of days hundreds of people wouldhave been killed. Lingamma would have been dead. OneRagella Latchanna broke into the house of a razakar,recognised Lingamma and took her to the house of herhusband. She had an abortion and later she did not conceive.Gangarajam counted himself among the dead but the PoliceAction saved him.
Some overlords returned to the villages. Gangarajamcarried out a propaganda against them. In 1945 Gangarajam
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met the Nizam along with Ekkaladevi Lakshman. DasariEthirajam through Lakshmi Narayana Dasu for theestablishment of a handloom co-operative society in Jagityalaand Korutla. They carried on their mission for the starting ofco-operative societies, for the abolishment of bonded labour,subsidy for yarn and the Khadi movement. As a result GangulaBhoomaiah was elected as the M.L.A. in 1952. Gangarajamfelt as if he himself had won the election.
• • •
People thought that by winning independence they hadentombed bonded labour. But the overlords emerged fromthe tombs with new strategies. The Metpalli Khadi Board whichwas established for the welfare of the common man went intothe hands of the overlords Vijayarama Rao and Chokka Rao.They could prevent the leadership of B.Cs till the advent ofTelugu Desam party. When the B.Cs managed to get AmballaRajaram as their M.L.A., he grew haughty on being addressedas ‘dora’ by the people of his caste and others. With thatGangarajam fell out with Amballa Rajaram.
Even before they could adjust themselves to the newequations in the struggle of life, history claimed many pagesin the book of life. Gangarajam defeated Vijaya Rama Raoand became the Sarpanch. Later Vijayarama Rao becameM.L.A. Gangarajam had to stop there as he had no financialbacking. Though his followers could become Sarpanchs, theoverlords, the police and the Patel joined hands, kept theofficials in their grip and worked against him and the people.He did not know the art of destructive politics. His childrenwere growing. They had to be educated and brought upanswering their needs. So he rented a house in Jagityala andsent his wife Lingamma and children there. He lived alone in
the village.
He realised that whatever the struggles, the life of thevillages will be like the proverbial frog in the well untildemocracy made its presence felt in village life. So heconcentrated on making a living. He became a contractor fortanks and roads. Also an excise contractor. He settled in Korutlawhere there was bus facility which helped him in visitingoffices. His sons secured jobs, and married avoiding closeblood relations. They married girls who had studied atleastupto the fifth class. Lakshmi Bai came as his daughter-in-lawon this condition. The traditional nine yards saree whichLakshmi Bai wore when she married Rajesham became a sixyards saree when she gave birth to Kiranmayi. By the timeRajesham occupied a lecturer’s post growing from a schoolteacher, Lakshmi Bai had imbided and cultivated such culturein speech and other aspects as to produce the impression asthough she had been a the degree holder.
When Gangarajam kept himself busy in the establishmentof handloom co-operative societies Rajesham got an offier ofa teacher’s job in a village like Kiranmayi. But he refused towork as a teacher in a village. He preferred a job in the textilemills of Bombay. The teacher’s job carried a salary of onlyforty five rupees where as the Bombay job would fetch him ahundred and fifty rupees.
He did not get the Bombay job. This benefited him.Rajesham worked as a teacher, did M.A. and later Ph.D andbecame a lecturer. Lingamma’s younger brother’s son look ajob in Metpalli in a Khadi mill and by the time he retired as amanager his salary was as low as that of an attender, drawingonly three thousand rupees a month. Rajesham was nowdrawing a five figure salary.
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No one believed that the lives of those who went toBombay would take such an unexpected trun. Similarly thelives of those who settled in villages as agriculturists andcultivators remained static with no progress. But in the earlydays this category of people were proud and arrogant.
Once the parents of girls used to ask the groom’s parentshow many ploughs and cattle, how much cultivation they hadetc. at the time of marriage negotiations. Now those questionshave been forgotten. What are the educational qualifications,what job will he get are the questions that are asked.Gangarajam bought gold at the rate of thirty five rupees a tolafor his sister’s marriage. The marriage was celebrated forsixteen days.
Relatives used to arrive four days before the marriage.The dinners used to start with the anointing of Pochamma, thedeity, by offering her a he goat as sacrifice. After all thecelebrations and rituals were completed with the sixteenth dayfestival, the invitees used to go home. So these marriages werescheduled to take place in summer when agricultural operationswere few. The number of carts in which the relatives camewas counted. If hundred guests arrived in ten carts it was abig wedding. Gangarajam found it difficult to manage withguests who came in five carts for his son Rajesham’s marriage.Now marriages have shrunk into a single session festival. Itlooked as though Kiranmayi’s marriage will be a “meeting”wedding. She now said that gold and silver ornamentsrepresented vulgarity. She did not wear bangles also except awatch on one of her wrists. It is likely that she would elopewith some one calling it love. Rajesham tried to elope with agirl after he got the teacher’s job. It was Lingamma’s cautionthat preserved him as a good man.
• • •“O my man, we have reached the place. Get off”, said
Lingamma bringing back Gangarajam into the present. Thebus stopped far away from the station. Those who wanted toboard it ran towards it. Gangarajam felt bad as the bus stoppedfar from the stage. He wondered whether he had fought forsuch buses as these.
“Do you remember how hard we fought for getting theprivate service buses?” asked Gangarajam walking slowly.
“Why don’t I remember? Was it not Vijayarama Rao thatgot the private bus service banned because his cart lost itsprestige? He did not like the passengers sitting in private buseslike lords, like himself. When the popular demand increased,he got the govt. bus cancelled, made his brother-in-law buy anew bus and put it into service. They bought thirty more buseswith the earnings of that single bus, and built bungalows inthe city.” Lingamma recollected angrily how people becamerich, those who had nothing.
“Namaskaram, Tatayya! Are you coming just now? Whenis your grand daughter’s marriage?” asked the branch postmaster of the village distributing the letters.
“Namaskaram. How is your father, Sekhar?”
“He is well, Tata (grandfather). He went to Edulla to buya toddy pot. He always remembers you. He tells me with greatspirit how you fought for a post office and gave the post tofather when it was sanctioned.”
“Who is there now who recollect old happenings? Bythe by, I learn that your father moved with Vijayarama Rao’sson during the C.C. Bank elections. It is not known whethertime is moving forward or backward. What is the use of having
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fought so much? The sun is severe. I will move up,” saidRajalingam and walked away.
Sangamma was all happiness on meeting her brother andsister-in-law. She thought that her brother followed the traditionof offered flowers and fruits to guests. She offering them eatsagain and again. Lingamma rested on the mat, Lingarajam onthe cot. Ajay, the second grandson came on his cycle andgreeted the couple.
“Tata! It appears the bus stopped far away from the busstation. People say you fought for these buses long ago. Nowthe private buses are far better. They stop wherever wantedby the passengers.”
“What do you know about the old days? They ran privatebuses and prevented R.T.C. buses and did not want a bus depotto be established. After a long struggle this depot wassanctioned. These fellows who then said they did not wantthe depot, became its managers. They became Chairmen. Allthose young boys grew up fast-before my very eyes.”
“You could not get me a conductor’s job. Yet you boastthat everyone grew before your eyes,” taunted Ajay.Gangarajam grew wild with anger. He controlled himself.
“Though I did not like to entreat them for it, I tried butfailed. I walked back with shame. But should we always bebegging and should they always be in places of authority? IfI had kept touching the feet of every other man, do you thinkthat this village would have developed so much? If you havecourage, fight. In my time I could become a Sarpanch. Whydon’t you become a mandal President or an M.L.A.? As thoughyou have no one here you want to go to Arab countries. Ifyou go to Arab countries your women become vassals of themen there. How useless are your lives here! You have no self-
respect at all. When the country is being put to sale no onedares to fight.”
Ajay became furious.
“What has the country given to me to fight for it? Thosewho got benefited by independence and the development thattook place must fight for it. This country cannot give even aconductor’s job to me and drives young men to Arab countries.If such a country is being sold why should I fight? If the countryis sold I will ask for my share. What do I care if the country issold? If this country gets into foreign rule, I will be happy. Whyshould others gain and enjoy the freedom and developmentwhich I do not enjoy?”
Gangarajam was deeply hurt at Ajay’s words. He wasshocked at the thinking of the youth. Before he could saysomething Ajay left him saying that he would inform relativesabout his grandfather’s arrival.
“Don’t take to heart brother’s words, Tatayya. Of late hehas been talking in this manner with everybody,” said his granddaughter apologetically.
Gangarajam wondered why they could not gain anythingduring fifty years of progress while VijayaRama Rao and thepeople on his mother-in-law’s side could amass wealth to thetune of crores of rupees. Ajai’s father Anjaiah committed a minorblunder resulting in a growing loss over a forty year period.When he failed in H.S.C. he was advised to do teacher trainingin Jagityala which he did not do in 1960. If he had undergonethe training for two years he would have got a salary of sixtyrupees a month where as in Bombay textile mills it was twohundred rupees a month. So he went to Bombay. But in Bombaythe daily wages got reduced gradually while teacher’s salaries
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increased steadily. Whoever thought that the situation wouldchange like that? Did he himself make bold to buy a bus? Didhe not decide not to get involved in that bog?
Shankaraiah resigned his job in order to pocket theprovident fund. With that money he bought four acres of land.But in order to cultivate his land he needed money. He wentto Bhivandi. The strike by Dutta Samant for more than eighteenmonths created problems for the unemployed workers. Thedaily wages rate also fell.
He used to come home once a year. Friday poojas anddrink claimed a lot of money. Sangamma and the daughter-in-law worked hard, rain or sun, cultivating and growing crops.Shankaraiah said good bye to Bhivandi owing to age and illhealth.
Shankaraiah was not poverty striken now. But his childrencould not reap the benefits of education. They did not getused to village culture. The Bombay culture did not suit villagelife. His nephew grew up between the two cultures over fortyyears. He died because of heat stroke. His nephew’s son Vijaihad come of age by then. He was highly educated likeKiranmayi. He was running a school in the village. He had noinclination to take up any job. He had a mind to get into politics.He thought that if his wife worked he could make a name inpolitics without depending on others financially. He hopedthat Vijai would carryout successfully the projects which hecould not do himself. He could convince Kiranmayi.Kiranmayi was foregoing a chance to be the wife of a futureminister. Who knows what things happen in politics?Kiranmayi herself may become a minister in the place of Vijai!Shankaraiah had committed a mistake going against the streamof progress forty years ago which resulted in his younger
sister’s family getting distanced. Now he wanted to bring hisson’s family and his sister’s family into the main flow of lifeand progress. But Kiranmayi was foolishly stubborn inrejecting the marriage alliance. Gangarajam had to hold hishead in helplessness.
Kiranmayi called him a selfish person. Was it a crime tolive one’s life on his own while working for the progress ofthe society? When Guntuka Narsaiah Pantulu dedicated hislife to the handloom movement people accused him that heswallowed the money of the Sangam, that he talked of theSangam, not being able to earn by himself. He then didbusiness in textiles, earned money and ploughed back themoney into the Sangam. So he was honoured as the father ofthe Handloom Movement. If he had depended on people’spatronage, he would have been branded a middleman! Howwrong was Kiranmayi’s thinking? If he had not worked hard,would Rajesham have become a lecturer and would Kiranmayihave reached the present state of prosperity?
Was he selfish or Kiranmayi? Kiranmayi was not able tobear the village culture consisting of cattle in the house, dung,hens, dirt etc. If this kind of agriculture did not flourish, howcould the country grow crops and cattle wealth? What didKiranmayi say, having known all this?
“Tatayya! Villages look good in photographs. But villagesare not congenial for living. I will live in cities and write storiesand essays that village life is glorious. Those living in townsenjoying all comforts and luxuries, living in posh apartmentsand in beautiful colonies, having knocked off all the benefitsfirst, say that villages are good. Such people should be shotdead”. Rajalingam trembled at the thought process of the youthrepresented by Kiranmayi. Kiranmayi was of the confirmed
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opinion that those who complain bitterly of sultriness if thepower supply was off for five minutes and curse village lifeand the government as being worthless were the people whosay that village life is good.
“Tatayya! Village mentality today reflects the cruel feudalmentalities. Democratic culture will not grow unlessdemocracy strikes roots in villages. Till then villages sufferfrom small mindedness and jealousy. If there was a distantrelationship, men begin to address women with out respect as‘eme’, ‘osai’. There are no water closets in homes. Peoplebathe near tanks, use the tanks as dhobi ghats and effacate atthe tanks. In the villages people look at me limiting me to acaste or a house and say so and so belongs to so and so caste,she is the daughter-in-law of so and so house. But they nevertreat me as an individual and give no importance to myindividuality, my intelligence and my knowledge. I hate beingregarded as somebody’s grand daughter, daughter, daughter-in-law, wife etc. They should give me respect for what I am.This is not possible in villages.” She made many suchcomments.
Gangarajam fell into thinking listening to Kiranmayi. Hewoke up from his dreamy sleep when Rajaiah greeted him.
“Are you all well. Rajanna! Are the sons taking care ofyou? You faced difficulties with the death of your wife,”consoled Gangarajam.
“What shall I tell you! My sons got separated anddistributed among themselves what I earned. Now they arenot feeding me. You should talk to them” said Rajaiah andexplained the position. Gangarajam sighed listening to Rajaiah.
“I have no patience now. Each one’s life has been as
voluminous as epics. My grandsons and grand-daughtersthemselves do not heed my words. They say that I did everything for myself.”
Rajaiah left as some people came to meet Rangarajam.Sangamma was busy making arrangements for the food ofthe relatives who were visiting along with her daughter-in-law. Ajai brought two pots of toddy. The aroma of the boilingchicken soup created the necessary festival atmosphere.
By the time bridegroom Vijai returned going round townsinviting people for the engagement, the house was full ofrelatives. He was crestfallen when he learnt that the marriagewas cancelled along with the programme of distributing flowersand fruits. But the guests were not bothered about it. The guestsfinished their meal and were discussing incidents that tookplace fifty years ago. They expressed their opinion that it waswrong to finalise an alliance in a village with a girl who hadstudied in the English medium and imagine that she wouldlive there. They all appreciated Kiranmayi for not telling heropinion after the wedding invitations were printed and posted.
Rajesham who reached the place that night, stayed awayat home as he lost face with the decision of his daughter. Hewas awaiting the arrival of the old couple early in the morning.Kiranmayi went away to school as usual to make herselfscarce.
“Vijai says he would never marry”, said Gangarajam. Hisdaughter-in-law Lakshmi Bai supported her daughter insteadof sympathising him.
“Men can cancel the marriage of a girl in the marriagepandal! How ashamed the brides feel if every man that comesto see them points out some defect or other? If once a girlsays ‘no’ to a boy what arrogant indignation! Let them feel it”said Lakshmi Bai vehemently.
Rachana Monthly – Dasara Special Number. 1991
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10
WAR AND LOVE
‘Before money, authority, power, caste and selfishnesslove cannot hold its say’ thought Kanthaiah again.
Kanthaiah wanted to catch a bus. He sat on the bench inthe hut hotel opposite the Jagityala new bus station. Whilereading the paper he started glancing at the name plates of thebuses that were going into the bus station. The buses he wantedto board were coming and going. But he did not move fromhis bench.
‘Where does love exist? Where did love go? Everythingelse gets defeated before love,’ thought Kanthaiah. But it didnot happen as he thought it would. His mind was in a turmoilwith the internal conflict–whether that he felt was love or not.He changed his travel plans and sat in the nearby park forsome time. The internal conflict continued in his mind. Hewandered here and there for some time and turned towardshome.
Chandramma, his mother, was waiting for him at home.He was away from the morning without eating food and wasavoiding Saravva’s arrival time. For four days he keptwandering about. Chandramma recollected the past and wipedher tears with the pallu end of her saree.
“Saravva waited for you for a long time and left. She
invited us for dinner tonight. 'I came five days ago. Kanthaiahdid not care to meet me even once. If I come here he makeshimself scarce. He does not come to my house. What sin haveI committed that he moves about without seeing me’ she cried”informed his mother.
Chandramma grew silent observing the changes in hisexpression on his face. She stopped cutting the beedi leaves,put them aside and served food to her son. Kanthaiah ate alittle, laid himself on the cot, pulled the bedsheet over himand closed his eyes.
• • •
“Saru!….. are you not responsible for my life taking thisturn? Is not your selfishness a reason for my present condition?You are now making a name as an intellectual in the state. Iam afraid to meet you now. You have changed a lot afteryour marriage. I am surprised how you could develop so muchof self-confidence. The glow in your eyes makes me feel jittery.I feel like running away, far away from you. In a momentagain I feel glad and elated at the way you have grown. Saru!Why did you become a part of my life? How did you acquirethat enlightened look as though you had understood the wholeworld? After your marriage I find a dignity in your gait. Citylife has polished you. Your language changed. The colour ofyour sarees changed. I feel awkward if you wear pants andshirts. At such times I feel you are not my Saru. Saru! Did youachieve this improvement because you are a woman? Was itpossible because of your caste? Why didn’t I achieve thegrowth, the respect and the status which you could gain? Howdid you manage to acquire so much strength and a circle ofpeople around you? Why don’t I have them? My mothercontinues to roll beedis. Your mother stopped rolling beedis
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and finds no time to offer cups of tea and plates of refreshmentsto guests.”
“Kanth! You get married first. You’ll then feel settled inlife. Please save me from the discredit that I’ve beenresponsible for the sad plight in your life.”
“Am I blaming you for nothing? Isn’t that the truth?”
There was an argument between the two. Saru toned downher attack. “Kanth! I agree with you. But it does not mean thatyou should live single. If you have any respect and love forme, for my own good, you should marry,” she appealed tohim. Kankthiah realised after a while the correctness of hersuggestion.
“If so Saru……. Find a bride for me. You know best whatkind of bride I want. Find for me a wife that helps me growlike you after my marriage. But is it possible for me to reachyour heights? After marriage our life may end up without anyprogress,” said Kanthaiah sadly.
“Kanth! You’ll know certain things as time progresses,some as you grow in age, some by experience and some aftermarriage. There is no possibility for bachelors to know certainthings. After you marry you too will develop self-confidencecoming of a feeling of self assurance and dignity. Then youwill get rid of the fear you now have for me. The nature of lifediffers from person to person. I have a feeling that you andyour wife will reach greater heights than us,” assured Saru.
“Saru…aren’t you unhappy that we missed marrying?How come, you speak with such balance!” Kanthaiahexpressed his surprise.
“Kanth! Time heals wounds. Memories tickle the wounds.New experiences, new acquaintances, and a new life, create
new awareness. They erase the old memories. If my husbandand I are happy, it is because we are leading a new life. Wehave now bonds that fasten us together. When we rememberthe old bonds of love we feel sad. But the present is of greaterconsequence than memories. It can’t escape us. That is thereason why when the mind secures serenity and loneliness,our memories float on water which becomes clear when it isstill. That’s why I try my best to create work so that my minddoesn’t get the feel of loneliness. A part of it is this Women’sLiberation Movement – what you call intellectualism.”
“That means you are erasing the memories of our love!”
“Kanth! Why do you cull meanings out of it? I fail tounderstand how I can convince you. I think you willunderstand some aspects if you marry. The life I lead now isthe reality. I can’t but live in this real world as a wife, as anemployee, as a mother and as a daughter-in-law. It’s then thatour real life projects itself and our love, bonds and memoriesgradually recede into the background like a song, from soundinto silence.”
“Saru…you have learnt many words. You have decidedto forget me. Why do you take this devious course instead ofstating it straight and clear?”
“Kanth! When I suggested that we should elope youcouldn’t make bold to act. Mother, sister, this and that youtalked of. Now you are freely accusing me. Do you knowhow pained I feel when you talk in this manner? I am now amarried woman. Do you feel happy if I sit sobbing like a deity,like the goddess of sorrow? Women are like plants bornsomewhere and transplanted somewhere else. In the presentsocial set up the feelings of love and sorrow of women aremade to change from the real to the unreal, from the existing
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to the non-existing. There is no chance even to express painand anguish in this society. With the advent of new experiencesand new memories, the non-existing equalities are completelylost and disappear. But the impressions they leave on one’smind remain. These impressions take shape as inner energyand influence the future, says Freud. And as for removing theimpressions of the inner energy it’s possible only throughpracticing dhyana and reading Jiddu Krishna Murthy’s works.”
“That means you are in the act of removing theimpressions of our love from your inner life force.”
“How cruelly you throw blame on me, Kanth! You haveknown me since my childhood when I didn’t know whatshyness was. I also knew you. Are evidences necessary toestablish how much I love you? Why talk of evidences? If Iforget you three years after my marriage, is it called love? Butmy love for you is getting indistinct day by day, Kanth”, saidSaru with tears.
“Kanth! I can’t be laughing and dancing freely now as inearlier days. I can’t visit your house frequently as before. If Ido so the world will blame me. You know the problems.Because you are a man you expect me to be free with you asin olden days. Are you able to be free with me as before?Though you know that I have been in town you didn’t come.If I come to your house you are not available.”
“But then Saru! It is not to forget as you do. It is pain,remembering the past.”
“Kanth! It may be with pain. If you don’t fear that peoplewould misunderstand you, why should you avoid me? Youthink ‘this Saru is not mine. She belongs to someone else’.That is the meaning. This fear and this love- we both possess.
You are able to express your pain as you are not married.After you marry you too will not be able to express your pain.If you do so, your wife and the society will not admire you.You will be blamed. You will be treated with contempt.”
“If one marries, it is said, one gains the experience ofseven years. But in your case you seem to have gained anexperience of fifteen years. Your husband is seven years olderthan you are. By his association you became his equal. Bymarriage you gained an experience of seven years. In thisway, within three years an experience of fifteen years and anequal period of age have been gained by you. If I marry Igain an experience of seven years only. If my wife is sevenyears younger than me, my experience may be equal withhers and my age also will recede!…. You know why. It isimpossible for me to get a girl who is equally educated forwhat I am worth.”
“If that would be the case, Kanth, you must pull yourwife up in the same way. I rose by my education and status.You are one of those who were responsible for the growth ofmy individuality. Would I have grown to this level withoutyou? You know that I love you most next to my mother. Foranother reason I will love you more than my mother.”
“Saru! If that is true what more do I want? Our bonds arenot physical. They are bonds of the heart,” said Kanth overcomeby emotion.
With those words of Kanthaiah, Saru also felt elated. Hersorrow and pain dissolved and she smiled happily and serenely.
“Abba! How long did you take to open the doors of myheart Kanth! How beautifully have you put it! The feelings offriendship and the bonds of love seen between brother and
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sister, two sisters, mother and children, two men and twowomen will also be seen between men and women. This hasnothing to do with physical union. If you understand this, it ispossible for us two, as before, to be the source of inspirationfor each other for ever.”
“Saru! You have grown to heights I can’t reach! Mypoverty is obstructing me from growing. In your growth ishidden the unsought help of prestige secured through yourcaste. You know that my caste does not enjoy any status. Forhaving been born a woman you gained some special privileges.You could find a husband who enjoys a higher status thanyou and your own level shot up suddenly. How is that possiblefor me who am a man. The saying “whatever the status, theman is a woman’s vassal” has not been said for nothing. If afifty year old man turns his looks towards a twenty year oldgirl his value in her estimation is a zero. Women grow in thismanner making zeroes of many intellectuals and elderly menwith their self confidence. How can a man gain the same self-confidence, the man who marries a woman younger thanhimself?”
“Kanth! There is some truth in what you say. But tens ofthousands of poor women are suffering in prostitute homes.Women are being raped. You will not understand the dirtylooks of men who consider women as mere sex symbols,however great they are, whatever position they hold and theinconvenience and torture the women experience in thoselooks. But I like your looks. How serene and pure are yourlooks! How loving and friendly they are! Those looks of yoursgive me self-confidence, that you are with me all the timeconstantly. If I achieve anything, your share is great in thatachievement”.
“Saru! Your explanation apart, how can I achieve theprestige and respect you command? Fortune favoured you.You rose in stages. Yours is highway journey. If once you getinto the track you move ahead fast. Mine is a foot pathfull ofruts and pits. By the time people overcome all obstacles theywill get tired. They will drop down. They grow old. Very fewreach the highway……. Saru…. We are the earth and youpeople grow like plants. When we get defeated you keepwinning. Toil is our lot. Victory is yours. The path of thosewho should win got shrunk into a foot path.”
“Kanth! What’s this new tune? Tell me clearly what youwant to tell me, please.”
“Saru……..The educational facilities which you havebeen enjoying for sixty years were those you snatched awayfrom us, preventing us from reaping them. If along with thePoona Pact made in 1932 for the Scheduled Castes byAmbedkar and Gandhi. The B.C. reservations also had beenimplemented how could you have had this superiority andthe opportunities? I would have been enjoying higher statusthan your husband! Our marriage would have taken place!”
Saru was overcome by sorrow and anger all at once.
“You had no guts to take me away then. Why do youboast that you would carry the weight of history on yourshoulders now? Should you dig up history simply becausewe couldn’t marry? Do not pass comments on historyovercome by emotion, overcome by a selfish mentalassessment…..please. But then I agree with you on one point.I could gain quick popularity because I was in the city closeto people and the realities. As you didn’t have a strongrepresentation in the media you couldn’t come into generalcirculation. Yet, it’s you who are propelling me now also. But
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I appeal to you not to ask me to wait here till your B.C.movement gains importance. I think I am not wrong in mywish.”
“It’s not like that Saru….. my desire is that you shouldset aside your individual development and selfishness andsupport and agitate for me and my people, not for yoursake……that’s my demand.”
“Kanth! I have my limitations. One person cannot fulfilall demands. You do your work. I’ll be with you.”
“Saru! Under the mask of feminism you have made clearyour dirty caste–oriented and selfish political thinking. Whatis the benefit for us if women occupy the places of men? Is itnot your responsibility to give a helping hand and supportthose who do not possess the necessary encouragement? Youwant to forget the historical truths confining yourself to yourselfish feminist advantages and want us to bear our sufferings.”
“Kanth! Each one of your words pierce my heart likesharp arrows. Have you found in me to-day my high birthand the leprosy called caste which you did not observe allthese days? What words and expressions you use! When Isuggested that we should elope you put me to torture like acoward. Now…... why don’t you kill me at one stroke insteadof torturing me again…..?” Saru started crying as if her heartwould break.
Kanthaiah did not know how to console her. He got angryat his inability to act properly at the right time. When he triedto drive home to her his point, she got a different meaning.On seeing her cry inconsolably, his emotion ebbed awayquickly.
“Sorry, Saru! I have no intention to hurt you."
"You women enjoyed the fruits for sixty years whichshould have been tasted by the B.Cs…..The benefits for womenhave been treated as the main channels at the expense of B.Cswhose priorities have been converted into rivulets. Is this nota conspiracy to remain at the helm of affairs for another sixtyyears to come, under the guise of attributing authority forwomen? Saru! My problem is mine. Your problem is yours. Ifeel pained for not having been able to tell you clearly myproblem. I don’t know to whom I should make my point clear.”
Saravva wiped her tears and controlled her sorrow.
“Kanth! I am confident that we both can become one inthe future. I will be happy if you win and I am defeated. Ifyou are defeated and I win, we will bring about a constitutionalamendment in the Parliament and in other forums for you towin. My path and your path are not different. The path ofboth of us is one and the same. Your place in my heart is madesafe for all times.”
• • •
Three years passed in a trice. It was clear that Kanthaiahwould lose and Saravva would win. Instead of congratulatingSaravva, jealousy and hatred for Saravva overtook Kanthaiah.He was replying her letters. He was not going to the city thoughshe invited him many times. Though she applied leave andwent to his house Kanthaiah was avoiding meeting her bybeing away.
• • •
Kanthaiah was pained that Saravva did not become thedaughter-in-law of his mother. Chandramma was also equallydistressed that Saravva could not be her daughter-in-law. Shehad brought up the girl with great love. She had imagined that
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she would be her daughter-in-law. The close relationshipbetween herself and Gowramma, Saravva’s moher, was of thatnature, it was a relationship that ran through three decades.
• • •
Chandramma and Gouramma had come to Jagityala asthe daughters-in-law when they were nine years old. DuringGouramma’s marriage some misunderstandings arose andcontacts with the relatives got snapped. This helped the mother-in-law of Chandramma and Gourwmma come close whichdeveloped the friendship of Chandramma and Gouramma.After they came of age their families became independent.Yet bonds of affections grew. They helped each other in theirdaily chores. They exchanged information about theirhusbands and their nature. They laughted at the details.Kanthaiah was born on full moon day in Karthika month.Saravva was born on Sivarathri festival day. When the twowomen were pregnant they had decided to make their childrenhusband and wife if their plans materialised. In the fourth yearof Saravva her father took a mistress and neglected his family.He went round places for ten years. Later he took anotherwoman as his mistress. During her crises Chandramma wasthe main support to Gouramma. For them both Kanthaiah wasthe first son for all practical purposes.
• • •
Saravva and Kanthaiah studied in the same class in thesame school. Kanthaiah played the childhood games of girlswith Saravva. The other girls gave Kanthaiah the nick-name‘bodakka among women’. They studied together in the lightof an oil lamp. Schooling and college studies was also in thesame place.
• • •
The waters of the Pochampadu canal reached the dry landswhere nothing could be cultivated. Gowramma converted theland into a fertile land with her hard work. Open sites becameplots. The price of land increased. Sarala’s father bought atractor with the money the bank offered, as it was satisfiedwith the fertile land. He traded in brick and sand. Kanthaiah’sfather left for Bombay as the wages he earned as a weaverwere too meagre. He returned home after a year and a halfwhen the mill where he worked was closed down after a strike.He went round villages carrying clothes on his cycle, sellingthem. He thought that he should do something better, sold hisproperty and poured the money into the hands of a broker togo to Arab countries. The broker deceived him. He diedbroken hearted. While Gouramma’s family prospered,Chandramma’s family faced disaster. Sarala’s father, whostarted staying at home turned into an evil force in hisdaughter’s life. Kanthaiah could not play the role of LordKrishna. As a result Sarala could not become Rukmini* thoughshe desired it. Chandramma resisted the love affairs of herson then. Now she started regretting her action.
• • •
Kanthaiah walked into the house as he did not find anyone on the pial. Gouramma and three other women were busypreparing some eats for the night dinner.
“Kanthu! Did you remember us after so many years?”asked Gouramma affectionately. She offered him a chair. Shewiped a tear from her eye on seing Kanthaiah who had thinneda great deal.
* Rukmini loved Lord Krishna and married him and Lord Krishna couldtake her away in his chariot though opposed by Rukmini's brother.
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Kanthaiah looked around. Though he walked in he couldnot come to ask about Saravva. His prestige came in the way.Such a behaviour of Kanthaiah was not new to Gouramma.
“Saravva went to your house. She has gone to invite yourall for dinner. She might have stopped at some one’s house onthe way. Be seated on the pial. The new books she has broughtare in the shelf. Go through them in the meanwhile,” saidGouramma.
Kanthaiah looked at the contents of the books. They werebooks dealing with history, human relations, reforms andliterature discussed from the point of view of feminism. Mostof the books were in English. Kanthaiah was surprised. Whatgreat heights she had reached! All the highways were hers!He had no path to lead him. He felt very small. He thought ofleaving the place, but could not go away. If he did not talk toher now, he would not be able to talk to her for a long time.Who knows when she would come again? He sat huddled ina chair and closed his eyes. In that humble posture he lookedlike a pup sitting huddled in a corner. He was agitated. Thecourage with which he started out faded in no time. He got upall of a sudden and stepped out and almost ran into Saravva.
Saravva’s elder daughter greeted him saying “namasteuncle”, extending her arms towards him. The child was verylovely looking, an exact replica of Saravva when she was thatage. Kanthaiah lifted her up and kissed her.
Saravva accosted him with her greetings in a pleasantmanner and stared into Kanthaiah’s eye, with a mischievousglint in her eye. Kanthaiah experienced the flow of someunknown energy passing through him making him feel lightfor a few seconds. Distances and misunderstandings gotremoved from him. They both remained speechless for a
while. Kanthaiah’s fear for her disappeared. He noticed thechange in the language used by Saravva in her words.
“Saru……Do you know how happy I am to hear youtalk in our village speech! I now feel that you are my oldSaru.”
“Was I not your old Saru before, Kanth,” Saru saidsmiling.
“Saru….you look very beautiful in this saree…… I donot know why you wear pants and shirts. They don’t sit wellon you at all.”
“There! That’s what is called male thinking…..” smiledSaravva. She knew that Kanthaiah liked such a saree and sowore it purposefully. Without revealing the inborn curiosityof a woman she spoke again.
“But then Kanth! If I wear the saree like your mother andmy mother in the old traditional way I will look more beautiful.Won’t I? You wear a dhoti and wrap a towel around your headand I will stuff chrysanthemum flowers in my hair. Then letus pose for a photograph. We then will look like a husbandand wife pair of the previous birth. Don’t we? But do youknow what my worry is, Kanth? Men who appreciate the sareesaying it reflects Indian culture should themselves wear it forone or two days in a week and show their regard for it.” Saravvasaid smiling which pricked his ego.
“Saru! Industrialisation gave you modernity and culture.But it deprived our people of their traditional culture. Theirlives ended with starving stomachs. Though Ambedkarshowed the way for many people, Gandhism became thehighway. But the path shown to B.Cs by Jyotiba Phoole, theguru of Gandhi and Ambedkar, stopped midway.”
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“Kanth, Mahatma Phoole taught the alphabet to his wifeand made her a teacher. Savithri Bai Phoole is our country’sfirst woman teacher. Why don’t you carry forward this ideal?Your wife Padma is not an illiterate. She has studied uptoIntermediate. If you can’t shape her into what you want, howcan you alter and mould the society? She left you withouttelling you. But then why did you not go to her and invite herback? If she thinks that she suffered in her life because ofSaravva, who is to blame? Do you feel that people shouldthink that way?”
Why did his mother send him by force to Gowramma’shouse? Was it to make Saru talk as she did? But he took carenot to express his misgivings and talked about other things.He tried to assert himself and his actions and told Saravva thatthere was no fault of his.
“By the by, Kanth! You and I are not children. Howevermuch you try to protect yourself, your heart knows the truth.You are giving importance to personal problems and areneglecting the aspects that help socially. I know that I am thecause for this situation. I suffer thinking of this. Though weare lost in an emotional struggle…..it is our love that makesus regard our ideals and feelings inspite of the decades thathave gone by. One has to live life as a beautiful experience.With that inspiration one should grow in society as a writier,as an artist. You must love the society as much as you loveme. It is not that I would be the only one behind your attempts.Now Padma is also ready to be with us in her ideals andthinking. You should now be prepared for some sacrifice.”
Kanthaiah realised there was some weight and truth inSaru’s words.
• • • • • •
Another year passed.
Padma read the letter received from Saru with interest.
“Dear Padma,
Namaskaram. I received the copy of your paper’s firstissue. I am happy you are the editor and Kanth, the manager.Congratulations. The paper has come out well. I am a littleworried whether the editorial has been written keeping me inmind.
It is true that I did not suggest to you and Rajita that youshould start a journal though I have been on the editorial boardof a paper myself. I was pained at your idea that there was theego of the upper classes in not suggesting that Scs and Bcsshould start papers independently. I agree with you that in thesuggestions the upper caste people make to BCs and SCs. theattempt to safeguard their own importance and authority isingrained. So also in the suggestions of developed communitiesover the underdeveloped communities.
But Padma! In my desire that your individual and familylife should be happy and prosper, there is no intention orexhibition of my authority over you. I have no other thoughtexcept love for you and Kantha. You are my people, a part ofmy life. How is it possible to exhert authority over myself?Though I feel that your social life should reach greater heightsthan ours, it was my mistake in not expressing it clearly.
Padma! I ardently wish and desire that our friendshipshould come out of the clouds of misunderstandings andproceed with love and regard for each other. The path shownby the Buddha through personal example that before lovewhich is free and human, money, power and authority,selfishness, caste and religion are naught–this should be our
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ideal.
To spread our ideas among people our papers are thestrong agents. We cannot take back the words that have beenprinted. So before going to print each word has to be thoroughlyanalysed with patience. I desire that your paper should comeout regularly without a break and that many papers shouldget published from our area, I remain,
- Your Saru.
After reading the letter Padma grew furious at Kanthaiahand whirled the letter towards him.
“Read how beautifully sister has written. Hereafter don’twrite the editorials on my name. If you want to write an articlewrite under a pen name of your choice. I’ll edit it and print it.See, how very pained she is. I’ll write the editorials in mylanguage. By the by, I want to say ‘goodbye’ to your editorialswhich provoke caste feelings and convert friends into foes.”
Kanthaiah read the letter quickly with a smile. “Abbo!How much love you have for your sister! If you show thesame amount of love in understanding things, it will not takemuch time to grow,” he said returning the letter to her. Whenhe tried to kiss her hand she withdrew her hand looking sharplyat him.
“What is this out of time romance of kisses forcing malesuperiority in the guise of love? Myself and Sarakka willtogether fight male superiority hereafter. We will prove thatbefore selfless love authority, selfishness, caste, religion etc.are all empty words. O you great man! Please do not sacrificehuman bonds for the sake of political advantage. This is thetitle I am going to give my editorial for the second issue.”
Kanthaiah was crest fallen. He had thought of teasing
and annoying Saru together with Padma. His idea took abeating. ‘From now on they will tease me together…’ thoughtKantaiah and pulled a long face holding his head.
Sunday Andhra Prabha,June 1999 (story published in three weeks)
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11
WHAT WAS IN THE PAST?
"We do not experience now the love we had known inolden days. We will not get back the old times. The affectionsof earlier days were entirely different. Now there is no fear,no devotion. Everybody acts and thinks freely. You find onlyselfishness everywhere. If you want to drive away dishonestywe must get a military government ……. The other day themotor got burnt. When a request was made for a newtransformer, each fellow…….."
Anjaiah had been shouting continuously for more thanhalf-an-hour……His sisters and brothers-in-law nodded theirheads not knowing whether he was shouting in his drunkenstupor or whether it was the problems of the world that madehim shout. Anjaiah's wife was serving food. Both her earswere bedecked with jewels. She had draped her saree aroundher thighs and waist tightly with a neat fold at the back.
Kokkula Mallesham heard the shouts of Anjaiah clearlyas if from a loudspeaker. The words of Anjaiah were slowlysinking into his mind like the stupor produced by the toddyhe had consumed. He thought of interrupting Anjaiah four orfive times but desisted from doing so thinking that it wouldnot be proper. But the vocal discussion of Anjaiah was gettingmore violent minute by minute.
Mallesham grew impatient. He had gone to the palmyra
grove along the hill slopes and was sitting under a tree for apicnic on a Sunday, it being a holiday. But the discussion wasdestroying the peace…..psch….psch… When it would endhe did not know. Gowda who supplies the toddy left theplace….“I'll give toddy to the other people and come back. Itis long since I came….." he said while going away. Anjaiahfelt bad. "As toddy, beer and and brandy have been banned,the demand for these Gowdas has increased a great deal….. Iwonder how so much toddy is being made available for somany people….." he murmured.
Mallesham turned towards the other side hesitatingly.People were sitting on either side of the trees with mutton,chicken, boiled and fried alachanda pulses. The women weresitting with toddy glasses before them. Men started eatingmutton having drunk toddy using fig leaves. Children werealso tasting toddy sipping from glass tumblers.
On a holiday hundreds of families gather at the hill sidesfor a picnic. The entire hillside is full of life, with people whohad come on different vehicles, cycles, and other type ofvehicles and Maruthi cars. Each family cooks for itself. Eachfamily has its own life style, its own topics for discussion…its own social level maintained in the dishes prepared….therelatives attending the picknic according to their convenience.
Mallesham also established his camp like Anjayya….Mutton, chicken, boiled alachanda….pulses. But there was alittle difference between the two. There were two scooters bythe side of Mallesham….and a little difference in habits too.Mallesham's family moved away from using leaves fordrinking toddy. If they drink toddy through leaves they find itdifficult to swallow it. They are now used to drinking usingglasses.
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Swapna, Mallesham's little daughter, was going roundhanding glasses filled with toddy to those gathered there andwas coming back to her father who was filling them againwith toddy. Mallesham was sitting pretty near the toddy potlike the gods and demons by the side of the vessel containingAmrita, the divine drink*…. If anyone saw him in that postureand situation, they would change his surname and call himtoddy pot Mallesham and not Kokkula Mallesham. His bellywas competing with the size of the pot, challenging itsbigness….Mallesham's mother Dubbakka with her toothlessgums was wrestling with the boiled pulses.
"Mother…. In earlier days did we have this palavrice….?" Mallesham asked his mother. Perhaps he wanted toindirectly answer Anjaiayya through his mother…..Dubbakkastarted talking philosophy.
"What did we have in our houses in olden days, bidda(dear son)? We managed to live drinking gruel and porridge.My father used to tell me that in former times they ate clayand earth as they did not get rice to fill their stomachs. Duringthat time good and happy living meant eating thick gruel orporridge….Do not remind me of those days, son……Whatdo you know how much the Patels, Patwari's and Chiefsexploited us?
“If they demanded we had to buy the yarn ourselves andweave the cloth for them and give…. Could we dare to askmoney?…. We had to stand before them with folded handsand bend low….If we asked them money opening our mouth,that was the end. For a paltry sum of thirty rupees they madeus go round them for three years…."
"Atta (Aunt) ….but that Anjanna…. when he says thatold times were good why don't you speak a single word….?"Dubbakka's younger son-in-law Kasturi Rajesham furthertickled her with his question.
Swapna completed serving toddy and sat before her leaf.She was sipping toddy from the glass and biting mutton pieces.She looked at her grandmother with interest. Dubbakka wasworldly- wise….." Did we come here to pick up a quarrel,son-in-law?" she asked and began to speak.
"What have we to do with them, Swapna…. They looklike the Gudeti Kapu community people. Don't you understandby looking at their ornaments, and the manner they havedraped their sarees…. People who had made others drudgefor them and lived, and now who have fallen on bad dayswithout doing any work - such asses talk in that manner sayingthat olden days were good. They loved people who drudgedat their marriages, festivals and celebrations. Naturally theyboast about the good days of the past…. You will know whatit was if you ask those who drudged for these donkeys -whether they did the drudgery for fear and pain of punishmentor for love…. After these 'annas' (the naxalists) made theirappearance, things have become easy."
"Nanamma (father’s mother)! How can you tell their casteby looking at their ornaments, jewels and the way they drapetheir sarees?" asked Swapna.
"The people of earlier times were like that…..But now alllook alike in their dress habits…."
"Mother….it appears the Bathukamma* festivals were
* The story goes that when the celestial brings and the rakshasas churned theocean of milk, amrita, the divine drink that gives immortality cam up and the twogroups wants to possess it for themselves.
* Bathukamma is goddess Gouri (Parvathi). Gouri is worshipped by women arrang-ing flowers, particularly chrysanthemums. They clap and sing songs of her glory,going round the deity. It is a festival typical of the Telangana area in Andhra Pradesh.
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celebrated on a grand scale…." Dubbakka's younger daughter,Kasturi Saroja, put in emptying the toddy in her glass.
"Yes, they used to celebrate them grandly. All the womenof the village should carry with them Bathukammas to thehouses of the Chiefs, Patwaris and Patels and sing and performthe dance there. But it was not known who among the goodlooking girls would be asked by these Chiefs to bed with themon their tape cots. No one knew where they would drag thesegirls…. May be to the cattle sheds, to the fields or anywhereelse. Women were afraid of wearing a decent saree. No oneknew which man would get impassioned on seeing a woman.The Chief's brother tried to manhandle me.... your father, hisyounger brother and uncle caught hold of him and broke hisfore-arm. Later we all left the place and came away to thisvillage. For the people who lived such a life in the past andenjoyed authority, the present does not appear good.
“What was available in olden days, bidda…They are sorrythat the coolies are not available for low wages. Those timeshave gone when dhobis, barbers, weavers and labourers usedto serve the entire year if they were given some maize andother serials. Now the malas and madigas are going to Arabcountries and earning a lot. Women have started to roll beediesand refuse to do field work even if they are offered thirtyrupees a day. Everyone wears white dresses and is livinghappily. Will they not feel envious of these developments?
“Now after the advent of 'annas' the importance of theChiefs has been lost. Won't they say that all have becomefree? For those who got work done through drudgery will notthe old days appear as good days, son?" What else will begood for them now?” Dubbavva started talking aloud boldlyas the toddy intoxicated her. She began recollecting old
memories.
"Bidda! In olden days it was not easy like now to eatmutton. If sheep died of diseases, they were bought at cheaprates. They wore the cloth woven by us and riducled us. To-day we have mills. In the past how did the young and the oldwear their clothes? Whose labour was it? That was the timewhen we were called -names- we who had given them culture.Was it not our community that wove the cloth patiently?….Willnot people who don't cover their nakedness be calleduncivilized?
"What was there in the olden days? Thirty years ago onlybullock carts were used. We had no cultivation. How couldwe afford bullock carts? If we wanted to attend a religious fairand asked for bullock carts for hire, they demanded largeamounts. They refused to use farm bullocks to drive the carts.When I was pregnant with you we had vowed to worship LordAnjaneya on the hillook. I was in the fifth mouth of pregnancy.No one agreed to lend us the bullock cart to go to the hillock.We walked up the distance carrying a cock and other articlesthe whole day. Your sister could not walk. Your father carriedher on his shoulders. Our legs were aching. How to climb thehillock and walk down? Our calf muscles pained and gotswollen. What did we eat then, son? ….. Now they go up thehillock on scooters. They go with their samans on buses. Nowwe use grinders and finish cooking in one hour. In those dayswere there so many items cooked as now? We used corianderpowder with tamarind to prepare what is called rasam. Byboiling some chillipowder with tamarind, something like whatis called 'pulusu' was prepared. Look at the place now. Theyhave laid roads on the hills also and buses as well as scootersgo up to the temple….
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"In those days you don't know how much we were afraidof nights. Where was this electricity then? Darkness followedsun set. We lighted castor oil lamps, ate something and sleptoff till the morning…. How many mosquitoes there were then!Your father went on weaving and weaving and thought thefever would suside by itself and he died because of that malariafever. The child born before you were born died at the age ofthree with small-pox. My husband went to distribute wovenclothes and died of snake bite in the night. Where were allthese medicines and the doctors then? He walked homethinking that some thorn had pricked him, foamed at mouthand died. There was no time even to get him treated with somemantra….
"My sister died of fits in child birth. I used to suffer frompain in the stomach whatever I ate. Who bothered about me?I would eat some leaf vegetable with onion and chilli powder.Your father was beating me with the wooden bar which isused for weaving as he would beat a buffalo. He would sendme to get starch to stiffen the woven cloth. Would they giveme the rice starch soon? They would tell me to do some workor sit and gossip for some time. Your father would scold measking where I was all the while and beat me…. Oh god! Idon't wish those difficulties to be faced even by enemies.
"How many difficulties did I face to educate you! Whenyou had no school I used to ask you to help in weaving. Youwould be naughty and would not help in weaving. Do youremember how many wooden bars, used for weaving, brokeon your back?
"I did not lead a happy life when your father was alive.Also after his death. It is a little better now after this beedirolling work started. If this livelihood had not been there, all
our weavers would have died. How many of our people canfind work in Bhivandi, in Bombay for weaving cloth? I washere with you children and your father was there alone. Yourfather would manage to eat something there and sendmoney…..Do you know how we suffered and struggled tobring you up?
"After your studies you spent time idly doing nothing.You could not bend your body to work in beedi rolling. Youpreferred to work in a shop but not to roll beedis. Because ofthat apathi mallamma you got a job with a salary of one hundredand twenty rupees…
"It is not apathi mallamma, aunty, it is ‘half a million job’scheme. The Governor H.C.Sareen introduced the scheme inthe year 1973…." corrected Kasturi Rajesham.
"Whatever it is … you see, I could not twist my tongue tosay it. You were sent to places and places, into hills and villagesbecause of the job. You do not know how much I cried. Youhad to go beyond Manthani and Madapur. A strange place. Icried saying why you should go so far away. Who knowshow the officers behave and how others behave. If you getcought there in the rainy season one could not reach that placetill advanced summer. All round there were streams, slushysoil… "That is only our Karimnagar district. Am I going toBombay?" You asked. You both carried hand bags takingyour clothes and a couple of vessels to cook your food. Afterworking there for four years you were transferred to Jagityalataluk. Then there was some stability in life. My daughter-in-law appealed to the Panchayati asking for a divorce. I had tomeet the people again and again to see that the Panchayati didnot take place. I had to sell my gold arnaments to supply toddyto the elders of the community.
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"Who is now spending a happy life? We suffered a lotand worked hard ..... You, your husband and your children, –you are happy. Now you are able to give English mediumeducation to your Swapna paying hundreds of rupees as thefee. Now my son earns a salary of five thousand rupees. Whatdid we have in our days? We wore twenty number thick sarees.How many wore sixty number five yard sarees then? Nowevery woman wears hundred number and hundred twentynumber super fine sarees. And many other varieties?
"They don't remember….It was this Anjaiah who refusedto help us by sending his bullock cart then to go to thehillock…this Anjaiah was brought up by his grand-mother.His mother had an only sister. She had no uncles. When thegrand-father died,....Anjaiah's mother took everyone to hermother's house. After five years we left the place.
"Anyway they prospered. They secured two power drivenmotars. Lands came under canal cultivation. They are nowriding scooters. Are they working with the old methods ofdrawing water from wells? They just press a button and attendto other work. How dark was Anjaiah when he was a boy ofyour age? Look at him now. By sitting in the shade all thetime how fair he has grown in complexion! Yet they say theolden days were good! The other day, for Swapna's birthday,how many of her friends and relations came! In olden dayseven for marriages so many people did not turn up. Only castepeople used to attend marriages, of their caste only. Now,more than the caste, relations and friends are turning up inlarge numbers. I wonder whether kings fed so many people atdinners in those days. In my days parties came to anunderstanding that "from your side twenty five and from ourside twenty five" should attend the marriage. There were
disputes as to who should feed the bullocks that draw the carts.At the time of serving food also there were problems of caste.”
The gathering was going on drinking toddy, eatingchicken and boiled and fried pulses and nuts. The gossip andconversation was kept going. Dubbakka grew philosophical.Anjaiah was chopping away something a little away. Ifintellectuals heard those discussions, they would faint! ForSwapna and children all this talk was something like a messagefrom the dream-land. This is the advantage if the entire familygoes on a picnic. Hearts open up. Children and adults learnabout their past and their culture and imbibe these factsautomatically, unconsciously.
• • •
Kasturi Dubbakka was in the hospital after an operationperformed for pain in the stomach. Her daughter-in-law wasattending on her in the hospital. Mallesham started carryingfood in a container for them both. There was a traffic jam. Hemoved forward pushing his scooter. Some people wereshouting that current power – sets were burning up becauseof low voltage and also shouting for fair prices. Heremembered….Under a tree, near the hill - Anjaiah.
The traffic jam continued for two hours. The police werehesitating to take recourse to lathi charge. What Malleshamwanted to say somebody else said:
"No one has any fear. What is all this as though the roadis part of one's grandfather's zagir? Unless military rule isimposed these people will not be cured".
The words struck Anjaiah where they should. He lookedseverely at the place from where the words were heard. "Yes,yes, say it. You say the ryot is the backbone of the nation.
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You want the military rule to shoot and kill us.”
"You yourself wanted the military government",Mallesham wanted to say, but shut his mouth. He turned backand reached the hospital going through gullies, handed overthe food in the hospital and went to his school.
In the staff room Mondaiah Sastry was boasting that theold days were great." In the Vedic times…" he wanted to say.“Brahmin's also ate the flesh of of animals.” “Yagnas and Yagasare all bash," completed Malleshan. A hot dispute started withthis statement "What ever you say, the present day society isfar better than the olden days. My present life is many timesbetter than the life of our ancestors." Mondaiah Sastry wasdumb–founded at the argument of Mallesham.
In the evening Mallesham took Swapna to the hospital.There was a crowd in the hospital. Anjaiah's hand was brokenin the lathi charge. His hand was in a bandage. There was acrowd of people. M.L.As, press people,….Mallesham pushedhis way in. "What happened to the love of the present day?"Mallesham wanted to ask Anjaiah but did not. Swapna wentnear the bed of Anjaiah. "What happened uncle?" she askedhim. "Do you remember uncle, on that day we met near thehillock….?" Anjaiah shed tears before the crowd. Were theyjust tears or were they tears of joy?
Sunday Andhra Jyothi 23-3-1997
12
MOONLIGHTIN THE FOREST
The pouring rain stopped that morning and the sky lookedclear.
The leaves on the branches of the teak trees moved in thebreeze. The rain water caught in the rough leaves, shaped likeelephant ears, were dropping down.
The rain drops which fell on the well-grown blades of grasswere shining like pearls. Goats stood up and stretched theirlimbs. Nature looked beautiful all around. The kids, theyounglings of the goats, rushed to their mothers to suckle attheir udders. The dried leaves spread on the ground to givethem warmth got scattered by the hoofs of the kids.
The nearby fire smouldered into ash which was still hot. Akid, eager to suckle at his mother’s udder cried in pain whenShe landed on a burning piece of stick. The kids started bleatingone after the other as if they had learnt to bleat just then. IsruTalandi, startled awake at the bleating of the kids. His daughterMoti was sleeping by his side. He adjusted the old cloth whichMoti had used to cover herself.
Isru stretched his arms and limbs and looked at the sheeppen. He then piled up the scattered pieces of sticks and turnedtowards his son who was in deep sleep.
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What did he himself have except the jowar field and anacre of horse-gram? Of course he had five goats. One of themwill anyway be killed for the festival celebrated before theharvesting of the crop. He had to offer a goat to Ahari Maharajduring the Dasara. The rest of them might be lost anytime ifthe forest officers saw them or if the goats were seen by bears.
Moti woke up rubbing her eyes. She had to be tattooed.How beautiful she would look if her face was tattooed! Alsoon her arms. On else who would marry her?
Esru stood before his hut and stretched again his arms andlimbs. He glanced at the jowar field which was most dear tohis heart.
The jowar crop had come up green and strong with heavycorn heads. The corn heads were ripening fast. Their stalkslooked green having drenched and got cleaned in the rain.The water drops which settled on the blades of grass lookedlike the moon-beam fish that shimmer in the pools.
Isru’s mouth watered at the thought of the fish. As it rainedwell the pools were overflowing with water. Fish may beavailable in those pools. He should catch fish by all means.
Why was it so chill? Drinking steaming hot jawar grueland biting roasted fish……? What a tasty treat it would be!
People called him a fish hunter. As a matter of fact therewas nobody in the gudem who did not like fish, meat andtoddy. They would very much like to eat them if only theycould get them.
The thought of fish reminded him what happened oncewhen he was young. At that time the gudem was not where itwas now. It was to the east of the present place. The Pranahitariver was flowing nearby. There was a thick forest all round.
The jowar crop was ripening then. The crop had to becarefully guarded till it was harvested and brought home. Hekept watch over the field till midnight, awakened Esu andasked him to guard the crop. Esu started snoring even beforehe got up. The heep were in the shed next to him. What willhappen if a tiger smelt them, attacked and killed them? Whatwill happen if the bears and the wild boars devoured the cornheads? Tut, tut. Though his son had come of age, he had notlearnt to be responsible minded. What should be done to makehim feel responsible? Yes, he should be got married. He willthen have a separate hut, a separate family and a separatefarming and cultivation. Till then he will not come to hissenses.
‘By the by, this fellow follows me to collect flowers andsuddenly disappears. When I search for him he is seen by theside of Lakshmi Bai smiling. On seeing me he walks behindme as if he did not leave me at all. Perhaps he imagines that Ido not know all about his mischief’ thought Isru.
‘Lakshmi Bai is a good looking girl. The tattoo marks onher eyebrows, forehead, cheeks and neck increase her beauty.
That girl started wearing blouses of late. She is the rightchoice for my son. I hope that the girl would enter my houseas my son’s wife. If that happens there might ensue a greatconflict with Babu Rao Made’, Esru continued to think.
Babu Rao Made was rich. He carried on cultivation withtwo pairs of he buffaloes. He had exchanged his two youngbulls for two grown up buffaloes.
Babu Rao Made had ten goats. Also two acres of paddyfield. In the village he was next in importance to NamdevGayikal, the village elder.
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In those days there was no place without a dense cluster oftrees or green pastures. The forest exteneded on all sides asfar as one could see.
How large was their goat herd then! One day he took thegoats to the water pools. There he saw fish and forgot himselffishing them. The goats entered the forest and were seen bythe forest officials. They impounded the lot. His father entreatedthem to return the goats by holding their feet. They kept fourfattened goats for themselves and released the rest with somemercy.
When he remembered the goats he shouted to Moti askingher to take care of the goats.
He looked at his son wondring whether he would wake upsoon. His son had tied the tall, twisted horns of a stag to thecot and covered it with deer skin. He had hung an empty shellof a bottlegourd to the horn.
Esru took away the bottlegourd shell saying to himself thathe had forgotten to collect it. He cautioned Moti once againabout the goats and stepped out.
The forest was all round him. A jowar field in the forest. Ahut in the middle of the field. A thatched shed by the side ofthe hut. There was a compfire between the huts.
In that hut there were two cots. Four forked posts werefixed in the ground. Rafters were made to rest on the forksand were tied with modugu plant fibre. Thin sticks were runacross the bars tied with fibre again to keep them firm. Driedgrass was spread over the sticks and were covered with anold, torn dhoti. Beneath this cot were the pots used for cookinggruel.
Jowar flour was tied in a cloth into a bundle and it was
hung from one of the crossbars. The hut was covered by drygrass and it stood isolated. There was another field belongingto someone else. A similar hut in that field also.
The inhabitants of the same gudem had built their huts inan area covering nearly two miles in radius to keep watch ontheir fields. Their gudem was the centre of their fields.
This gudem remains deserted for six months in a year. Theowners have to live in these huts for nearly six months to takecare of their crops.
At a distance of two miles there would be another gudem.There exist about eight gudems in a radius of ten to twelvemiles.
Isru belonged to one of the gond families that lead aninnocent life in the lap of mother forest.
The sun started to peep through the hills in the east. Thesky was warm with the rays of the sun like the jowar cakebaked well on the earten pan. Morning glow began to spreadlike the fragrance of the mahuva flowers blossoming forth.
Look! Dawn was offering its obeisance to the god of theeast with unbroken regularity even if the east was coveredwith clouds! Esru also offered his respects to sun god silently.
Esru walked ahead along the familiar path. Strangers wouldnot know the way among the tall grass bushes. The foot ofEsru which walked on habitually got stuck suddenly.
Once earlier a pointed stone, sharp as a knife, had hurt hiswound twice and he had plucked the stone out. Now his leftfoot got stuck in the soft earth. Little pebbles in the loose earthpricked his wound and he writhed in pain. He lifted hiswounded foot slowly and stepped forward squirming withpain.
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His wife had died of a similar wound exactly three yearsago.
During the winter three years ago many others had died.Like the ripe cotton pod breaking open, like the bamboosplitting in the hot run, the human body cracked for the coldof that winter.
In winter the women suffered badly. They drape themselvesin sarees above the knee and cover their bosoms with the otherend of the saree going down their shoulders behind. They donot have any other covering on their body. The chill cold cutstheir skin like a saw during winter.
When his wife’s body was burning hot with high fever,like a fire-place, should she get her period! She could nothelp it. She had to stay in a separate hut. All tribal women goto a separate hut during their periods.
They had only coarse clothing. The shopkeeper had takena pot full of honey and had given them two pieces of cloththin as a lonicloth. The shivering during this malaria feverwill not be controlled even if many such sheets were coveredover the body. On the fourth day she should have come backhome but she was dead and lying stiff as a corpse.
She must of died sometime in the night. She must haveshivered and struggled at the biting cold. She was a strongwoman. How hard she used to work!
Perhaps he too may die with the wound that was troublinghim. Though medication was being done using leaves andtheir essence and juices the wound was not yielding totreatment.
He cleared the mud carefully from the wound. Pus wasoozing out from the wound. But his temptation to eat the fish
had the better of the pain. He reached the pools.
The water was flowing in thin sheets, in the pools like thinlymade jawar gruel. There was the sound of water flowing downon stones from above at some distance.
The stream, with its birth place somewhere in the hills tothe North, runs through the forest before joining the riverPranahita and gets converted into a big pool.
He placed his foot in the water and the mud around thewound cleared off. He felt something biting his foot and liftedhis foot. A fish jumped back into the water.
Expressing disappointment at missing to catch the fish, hewalked into the knee deep water. He again felt something bitinghis foot. This time without moving the foot he bent down andcaught the fish in a flash. He slapped it hard on the bank. Itshead hit the ground and it died moving its tail.
Something shining was moving fast in the water. He thoughtit was a big fish and reached it in two leaps, caught it andthrew it on the bank. It was a poisonous snake and it got lostcrawling fast in the grass. He was not afraid of it though heknew it was a snake and its bite was fatal. Dangers of thiskind in their lives are many and common. He felt upset that itwas not a big fish as he had thought it to be.
The cat-fish cut into his wound with their fangs. Yet he didnot mind the pain he suffered. He caught sufficient number offish and put them into the bottlegourd shell.
The wound was stinking with pus. It looked like the braintaken out of the skull just then. The wound appeared raw withstreaks of blood.
He had to empty his bowels and rested his body on theright leg stretching his left leg because of the wound. He
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cleaned his bottom with leaves, wrapped up his limicloth andstarted off with the fish.
Once the shopkeeper who sells oil saw him do that andridiculed him calling him uncivilized. Esru wondered how itwas uncivilized when using the leaves did not allow the wastematter to smear the fingers and the palm while washing withwater did it. That was something which Esru never couldunderstand. All the people of his gudem followed the sameprocedure. While walking back home he collected some tubersthat resemble onions.
He stopped hearing Katicidam Nodimek of Nalgu Devarlacalling him.
Katicidam Nadimek lived in the gudem next to Esru’s. Hisfield was situated a little in the interior. The Nalgu Devarluhave a tradition that they should not eat tortoise. Kati calledEsru perhaps to exchange his tortoise for fish.
It was difficult to preserve a tortoise but the fish can easilybe fried and eaten. Kati got Esru into conversation.
Dasara was not far off. Dasara is celebrated on a grandscale by Ahiri Maharaj. The gouds of the nearby talukas gatherthere.
But everyone should get their provisions. Moreover thevisitors have to offer Ahiri Maharaj goats and moneythemselves. They have to start two days in advance to takepart in the two-day festival. Kati had kept aside a goat to offerit to Ahiri Maharaj. Their conversation touched many suchtopics.
Kati was saving money to buy beads and other such articlesfor those who would be with him those two days. Kati’s wifepassed away a little time ago. The inhabitants of the goodem
enjoyed sexual freedom during those two days. Kati wantedto know what gifts Esru was taking to be given to MaharajAhiri. Esru fell into thought saying “let us see.”
He was offering goats evey year to Maharaj but Maharajnever bothered about the welfare of the peole of the gudemby visiting them even once.
Every time Maharaj said that he was fighting with thegovernment urging the government to increase the wages forbamboo cutting and for picking up tendu leaves. But for fiveyears the wages did not get increased. Maharaj claimed thathe too belonged to the gondu tribe like them and that theywere all one. Esru felt that meeting him and talking to himhad turned casual and mechanical.
Moti had to go without fail. If she did not go, he had tosend to Maharaj though Patel Kurdugayital, a fine of tenrupees.
It was all right if men did not go. But women had to go anddance in the court of Maharaj. If they did not go. They had topay a fine of ten rupees.
If Moti went, Esu would say he too would go. He would beable to meet Lakshmibai there! Now he has the excuse ofaccompanying his sister! Esu may show himself off there!But how could he guard the field all alone himself? The fieldwas ready for harvest. Would it not be ruined? He would notallow any of them to go.
Moreover he had no money with him. He had only threerupees. He would not be able to collect money till the harvestreached home and until the bamboo cutting started. Whatshould he do! Let things happen as they should! What wouldMaharaj feel?
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He gave some fish to kati and received the tortoise. Hethought of home.
Moti would have prepared the jowar gruel. As soon as hereached home he would drink the gruel taking bites of thefried fish and the roasted tubers. How tasty would the mealbe!
Oh! It was long since he ate meat. It was more than a weekago he ate the tom cat that rushed into his field. Of late nothingwas available to eat! Abba! It was a week ago he ate meat
Jawar gataka with fish fried in oil was a grand feast forthem. Money was required for oil. If they wanted to use oil,they may have to wait for how many days, no one knew! Hisshirt was torn. He did not know how long he had to wait to geta new shirt made!
X x x
Esru reached the jowar field thinking of their lives and theistuation in which they were placed. His thoughts went topsyturvy at what he saw, for his heart almost stopped beating.
Forest officers were in the hut. They had tied down Esu toprevent him from running away. They had beaten him hardfor there were marks of thrashning on his body.
The gruel pot had broken into pieces. Ants had collected inrows to sip at the gruel spread on the floor. The gataka in thebundle hung from a rod had emptid itself on the grass coveringthe cot. They might have beaten Moti also. Her cheeks showedstreaks of tears rolling down as she wept uncontrolably.
That was all a part in the game of their lives. That was thereason why Esru recovered quickly from shock. Oh god! Wherewere the goats? He quickly glanced at the jowar field. Thecrop was not destroyed. But where were the goats?
The visitors had drunk the arrack Esru had hidden. The hutwas smelling arrack all over. They had pulled down the roofof the hut to some extent. The atmosphere resembled a bullbadly mauled by a tiger.
On seing Esru one of the officers pounced on him like abeast without a word with a stick in hand. While Esru tried toprotect himself from the blows the bottlegourd shell brokeand the fish fell scattered.
Tears welled in the eyes of Isru. He wreathed in great painas the blows fell on the wound. He shrieked as if his heartwould break.
“Where did you go all this while? How long should wewait here for you?” the officers shouted at him and startedabusing him.
The goats were impounded as they grazed in the reserveforest. He was fined for cutting wood for his hut. For havingraised a crop of jowar in the forest land the usual bribe – allthese put together a heavy burden was laid on him. From thecurses and abuses of the officers Isru could make out thatmuch.
As the officers exploited them in this manner every year,the people of the gudem collected the money from their wagesbefore the advent of rains and sent it through their chief,Kurdugayital. He also followed the patel. The official whoreceived the money had a flowing beard but no moushtache,and was chewing pan like a goat. He spoke mixing up Urdu,Telugu and gond languages with gusto.
The present official was fair complexioned and sported amoushtache. That means the earlier officer was transferred!Esru could not come to this decision for a long time as his
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head had gone numb.
It was Kurdu who could manage on such occasions withhis talk. Kurdu knew everything. Isru turned aside to go andwas about to shout ‘Oya!’.
They were afraid that he was calling someone to attackthem and cautioned Isru not to shout.
He fell on his knees and held the feet of the officers butthey spurned him away.
“Nanna! (oh father) why are they beating us? What wronghave we done?” asked Isru his father in their gond language,being in great pain.
“Don’t talk in your tongue!” shouted an official gnawinghis teeth. Esru kept quiet though he wanted to tell somethingto his son Esu.
“Goat fine, hut fine and the usual bribe – all together fiftyrupees as fine. If you don’t clear the dues within two days, i tis not just fine, your jowar crop also will be ours,” cautionedthe officers and repeated their order.
Was it easy to collect fifty rupees! Fifty! Where could hefind the money that very instant! Even if he paid them fiftyrupees, they will knock off one or two goats from thoseimpounded and return only the rest. If he had to save the crop,he had no go but pay them fifty rupees.
“Start cutting the bamboo from tomorrow. We will deductthe fine from your wages. This concession we offer only forthis once. Beware!”
They created the problem and solved it. It needed so muchhardship to explain the reason for which they came.
They left without waiting for Esru’s reply.
Rain would start abating soon. The work of cutting bamboowould commence soon. The mud paths which got washedaway would be re-laid. The plight of those living in gudemsby the side of roads was worse still. Nearly half the membersof their families will have to go for cutting bamboos withoutfail. It was one of the measures by the forest officers in orderto run the paper mills without a break. They would not listento any amount of complaints and entreaties to save and guardtheir crops. The bamboo cutting should go on. As their gudemswere a little deep inside they were saved. It was Kurdu’s elderbrother, who had died, that insisted on developing a gudemin the interior, far from the good road.
The bamboo required for the paper mills gets supplied fromEsru’s place also. But the work starts a few days this way orthat before Dasara festival.
On the pretext of improving their industries the Maharashtragovernment supplied the bamboo cut from its reserve forestsat a highly subsidized rate to the paper mill but did not imposeany limit on the selling price of the product.
The government started cutting down the forest so that themill could run for ten or fifteen years later also. After fellingthe forest and converting it into cultivable land, the forestofficials occupy the land taking it away from the gonds withoutpaying a paisa. The government starts bamboo plantationsthere later.
In that manner cultivation gets increased and plantationsget increased. The gonds who become shelterless each timehad been driven away into settled agricultural cultivation.
The gonds fell the forest and start agricultural operationsfor two or three years, plough the soil and remove pebblesand stones and make it fit for cultivation. Then either the forest
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officials or the ‘chiefs’ claim the land as theirs and drive thegonds away again.
The ‘chiefs’ or landlords are only a class, not a caste. Inthe Ankina area the Velamas, in Sironchana the Muslims, Patelsand Sarpanchs in other places as well as business people calledshainkars hold the sway over the gonds.
The grief and tears that welled up in Isru’s eyes got driedup. Was that the end of the problem? How many moreproblems they had to face in their lives! Perhaps they had notpropitiated and satisfied the great God and Mother Mahankalisufficiently. They were so unkind and angry with them. Duringthe pre-harvest festival they should make plenty of offeringsand fulfil the vows. “Oh God! Save us! O Mother! Hold yourpatience till then!” was be his prayer.
Esru removed the knots of the rope which tied Esru downto the stake. Moti poured water in the pot used for boilingvegetables. The water was in the colour of the gruel. She startedcooking the gruel using that coloured water.
Esu rubbed his limbs and muscles which had got stiffenedbecause of the tight knots. Opposite the hut the machete tiedto the top of long bamboo which was used to cut slenderbranches for the goats was shining black in the rain whichwas drizzling from the dispersing clouds.
Esu took it into his hand and looked at his father. Were hislooks asking his father’s permission to cut off the heads of theforest officials, one after the other!
Isru did not observe his son. He was busy spreading a clothunder the cot to collect the gatka that had spilt on the cot. Thegrass reeds were also falling along with the gatka powder.
Moti was afraid of people dressed in white clothes from
her childhood for some unknown reason. Her father also hadthat fear. Did he not? Kurdu gayathal greeted those in whiteclothes bending low. He showed great respect to them.
As usual, after making gruel and drinking a little of it, shetook the machete in her hand and led the goats on the katchapath for grazing. She expected to find a fruit or some thing.As she saw people wearing white clothes coming on that path,she ran back in fear to the hut.
The moment her brother poured the gruel into his vessel,some men kicked the gruel pot away. Her brother retaliatedfor kicking off the food which he was about to consume. Theywere four. Her brother was one and was also alone. Theythrashed him and tied him to a wooden pole. They searchedthe entire hut and scattered things throwing them helter –shelter. They looked under the cot and took out the toddyhidden beneath the grass mound. Their father was guarding itcarefully for the festival of the crops. They drank the wholelot of it.
She was terribly afraid of them when they looked at herwith their reddened eyes. She thought of running awaysomewhere. But how would she know if they took her brotherto some place? She stayed put in great fear not knowing whatto do.
Esru did not observe what was happening there. He wasonly thinking of the means to recover the loss. He did not askthem how it all happened; or what happened. It had become apart of their lives, something, like that starts and ends likethat. Esu did not tell his father because his father did not askhim the details.
The tortoise escaped and disappeared. Moti was searchingfor the fish.
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“Ask Kurdugayathal to come to our gudem to night” Esrudirected his son, shaking and collecting the gataka.
Esu looked angrily at his father and walked away withdeliberate steps towards the field of Kurdu.
• • •
As a matter of convention all the village elders of the familyassembled in the gudem. It was usual for them to sit togetherwhenever there was a problem.
The problem was the same for all of them. They receivedorders to cut bamboo from the next day. Atleast one fromeach family should go till the crop came from harvest. Theirproblem was how to go for cutting when the crop was readyfor the harvest. That problem was no new problem. They facedit every year. Yet it appeared a fresh problem each year.
A campafire was lit for light. When the dry sticks werebeing pushed up, the sparks rose and scattered, dying away.
As no one lived in the gudem for three months, the gudemlooked desolate and was in ruins. There were about twentyhuts and about twenty people assembled.
They sat around the fire. Should it be the same song everyyear? Was there no solution? Everyone entertained that samethought in their minds. But no one knew what to do.
“How to make fresh payment to everyone that came thisway?” questioned Bhima expressing his resentment.
“What you say is true. Do you think I feel like paying?What shall we do?” Kurdu Patel asked.
He was the chief of the gudem. It was his responsibility tosafeguard the honour of the gudem. Whatever that should reachthe ‘doras’ and the officers should pass through his hands. It
was also his responsibility to arrange the rest house facilitiesto the officers that came and went. Though they stayed in theguest house only for a few days in a year, they expect it to bespacious and beautiful. Or else they got angry. That angerburns down their lives into ashes. It was his responsibility tosee they did not get angry.
In such circumstances what should be done? No one hadthe answer. Everyone thought that if they refused the paymentit would be very good. But no one dared to speak their mindout.
“If I go to bamboo cutting keeping Esru to guard the field,it will be as good as the crop being lost” said Esru explainingthe sleepy nature of his son.
“Then send Esru for bamboo cutting. I will convince them”offered Kurdu Patel.
They all agreed to do coolie work for a token wages. Thatwas not coolie work. It was bonded labour.
Kurdu took up the responsibility of bringing back the goatsthat were taken away.
“Can’t we get rid of their menace?” someone asked.
“Dasara is fast approaching. This time we should tell AhiriMaharaj about all our problems,” said Rajaiah with hope.
“Good. You made a timely reminder. Women who are notgoing to visit Ahiri Maharaj this Dasara have to give ten rupeesin a day or two. Let the men folk themselves give it. Or elsethe gudem will lose its honour.” Kurdu collected informationas to who were going and who were not.
“What about you Esru? Are you sending Moti? If you sendher the work of watching the crop will suffer. I know it. Whatwill you do?” asked Kurdu.
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How could Esru produce ten rupees all of a sudden?
“I will take her. She has to be tattooed” Esru.
“Then how about guarding the crop?” Kurdu.
“All should stop cutting bamboo on those two days.”
Everyone liked the suggestion.
The flame of the fire died down into ashes. Everyone leftto their field for the night.
• • •
The day of the harvest festival. It was customary tocelebrate the festival before the crop reached home after theharvest. Each gudem celebrates the festival separately.
It was night. The fire was kindled two or three times formore light. Some were cooking food. Some were dancing.Some others were consuming local arrack.
Everything was going on smoothly according to schedule.
The priest of the gudem being the important person of thecelebrations was giving instructions.
Lakimbai knew through Esu that the festival would becelebrated in the gudem. She reached the gudem by evening.She removed her blouse. She was taking part in the song anddance with Esu enthusiastically.
Privacy in the forest. The green jowar field. The man ofher choice. How sweet the situation! Her father, Babu RaoMade, had left for Ahiri for the Dasara. Her mother knew whatwas happening but pretended ignorance. If father had cometo know of it, there would be great fuss.
For Esru, that Dasara produced a bitter experience. Afattened goat was sent to Maharaj as presentation. As during
every year, he heard the speech of Maharaj that he wouldwork for the riddance of the forest officers, that he wouldstrive for increase in their wages, that he would go to Delhiand fight with the higher ups there, and as such he should beelected again by casting their votes for him. The speech didnot please Isru. Every year Maharaj had been saying he wasfighting for their cause. But there was no change in their lives.Esru was unhappy for having lost a good goat for a merepromise.
On the festival day another goat was killed. Will the muttonbe sufficient? If Babu Rao Made returned there might be a lotof rumpus. Babu Rao may accuse him that he encouraged hisson to entice his daughter to avoid paying bride money. Theremight be a big quarrel. If the quarrel was resolved how mucharrack was required and how many more goats would beslaughtered?!
Though Esru was drinking the local toddy, his sorrow andpain at the thought did not leave him. To forget his worry, hestarted drinking more.
Moti brought pieces of meat fried in oil, brought by her onthe assurance that the amount would be paid from the profitsof the jowar crop. On such a festival day it was the custom ofthe gonds to eat together sharing their food whether cookedindividually or collectively.
Esru looked up affectionately at his daughter. How beautifulMoti looked! He had got her face tattooed the other day withmany dots. No one will have any objection to marry her! Whydid the girl cry when she was being tattooed? What did sheknow, silly girl! He had brought some beads from the town.How bright were they shining in the light of the fires!
He made his daughter sit by him and made her drink the
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arrack by force.
A commotion was felt a little distance away. Everyoneturned their heads that way. Babu Rao Made along withAnmanthu, their Patel and two others was approaching themas if for a qurrel.
They realised that they were late. Lakimbai was dancingwith Esu without her blouse. They had come to take her awayand on seing her jumping with Esu they got terribly enraged.They created a big fuss.
The priest of the gudem and Kurdu Patel brought aboutpeace between the parties.
“There is not a bead! There is not a single saree! Nothingdoing!” said Babu Rao.
The priest and Kurdu Patel assured Babu Rao that beadsand sarees would be bought for Lakimbai after the harvest. Itwas decided to arrange the wedding feast also the next day.
Isru was very much agitated and worried. “Let us manageit during this festival today. Please ask the people of yourgudem to join us to night” he suggested. But no one heededhim. They were fond of festivals. Would they let go such awonderful opportunity?
Isru happily agreed to build a new hut for the newly weds.But he could not agree happily for the next day’s feast.
Isru had to bear the entire expenditure of the feast the nextday. He would have to get two more goats and five measuresof cow-gram. His debt with the shopkeeper for oil and saltwould increase.
The celebration of the festival was a joyful one for Esu andmore distressful to Isru.
• • •
It looked as thought the entire gudem was fast asleep.Everyone had gone to work.
The jowar crop had reached home to stay for only a day.Much of it would go to the shopkeeper towards clearing thedebts. It could be done the next day or a little later. They willnot be lost. The hut for Esu should first be erected. Esru wasin that task.
Four or five sturdy teak logs were fixed in the ground. Themain beam was also of teak. Bamboo stalks were used asrafters. Bamboo poles were fixed close to each other to makewalls.
It was mid day. As the clouds cleared the sun was severe.Esru slumped having got tired and drank water brought tohim by Lakimbai.
Moti and Lakimbai kept helping Esru doing this and thatand were tired. They too relaxed on the front portion of thehut.
Esu left to cut the bamboos. The jowar stack was piled upbeside the hut obstructing visibility.
When the forest officials made their appearance suddenly,Esru started to tremble. He did not know what to do. Lakimbaiand Moti stood like statues.
The officials created havoc as usual saying that the treeswere felled illegally. Isru fell at their feet.
The officers seized the arrack, drank to their fill, andbehaved disrespectfully towards Lakimbai.
Anger, grief, helplessness overwhelmed Isru and the girls.Esru begged the officers to show mercy on him.
They imposed a fine of fifty rupees and gave him time for
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a few days. They warned him that if he failed to pay the finewithin the stipulated time, they would deduct hundred rupeesfrom the wages for bamboo cutting.
Esru collapsed holding his head not knowing what to do.Lakimbai could not bear the humiliation and Moti got stuckwith extreme fear.
The wind remained motionless and still with rage. The treesstood still in a dignified silence.
The goats tethered to posts started bleating. The agonizedcries of the animals reverberated in the forest.
The chief and landlord Raja Rao came just then with fourpolicemen as though being welcomed by the cries of theanimals.
“The land you tilled is my land,” said Raja Rao anddemanded his share of the harvest.
Isru fell into confusion. The forest officials said it wasreserve forest and had imposed a fine of fifty rupees. What isthis new situation?
He sent Moti away and sent for Kurdu. The shop keeperalso came along with Kurdu and Isru’s heart missed a beat.
By evening all the gudem inhabitants gathered there. Thechief asserted that the land being cultivated by nearly half ofthem belonged to him. They too were taken aback. The crophad come for harvest. What should be done? If they did notagree with him he would level a charge against them that theypilfered his crop and file a case in the court. They may haveto go round the court for many years. The food that hadreached their mouths slipped away. Kurdu also felt very muchdistressed.
Kurdu acted the mediator and made the chief accept a bag
of jowar from each one of them. Raja Rao ordered theshopkeeper to collect the bags.
The shopkeeper measured the bag for the chief, anotherbag towards the coarse dhotis for the festival and one moretowards the price of oil, salt and other sundry items for themarriage.
There were only two bags of jowar left. Some of the jowarhad to be saved for seed. How will the rest of the grain besufficient till the next crop? They could just manage by cookinggruel once a day as meal.
How carefully they had saved the crop from hogs, bearsand other animals, from squirrels and birds like the eyelidsguarding the eyes! There was no sleep. There was no comfortand happiness. How many hardships they had faced beforegetting the crop home? The crop was declared as notbelonging to him before his very eyes. He had yet to pay toforest officials fifty rupees. The shahukar, that is theshopkeeper, measured a quantity of grain that satisfied himand gave Isru fifty rupees.
Moti was crying. The shopkeeper shouted that he was notpaid for nothing. Esu, in his anger, not able to control himself,pulled and threw things pell-mell in the new hut being built.The shopkeeper ignored all this and attended to his businessand left. The jowar crop which he had guarded night and dayfrom wild animals reached Raja Rao and the shopkeeper oncarts. The fifty rupees reached the pockets of the forest officersthrough Kurdu. Isru was not left with tears also in his eyes tocry.
• • •
The glowing sun’s in the forest was cool like moonlight.
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The trees, grown sky high, covered the forest like an umbrellaprotecting the people from the sun. The entire forest seemedmoving in the breeze. The leaves were dropping down nowand then. The screeching of the crickets, the twittering of birdsand the noise of the running squirrels were being heard hereand there. The atmosphere in the forest … in that breeze, wassolemn like the forest itself.
“Stay here comrade”, said the commander to his sentryand walked towards the canal with five other members. Thetank was nearby. They cleared the vessels in which they hadcooked food. They drank water to their satisfaction and carriedsome for the sentry.
Their legs were aching. They had been walking for threedays. They had each carried bundles weighting 25 kgs andwalked fast. Among them Chinnanna had joined the dalamrecently. He was strong willed but his body was not co-operating. He had not yet mastered the art of walking longdistances. They had eaten food after long starving. They werefeeling drowsy and sleepy.
The commander cleared his throat and began to speak.
“Comrades! We have crossed the borders of Andhra Pradeshand are in the forests of Maharashtra. The Ahiri, Sironcha andYetapalli taluks are on either side.” Then he started describingthe geographical and political features of the place.
“Comrade!” he called aloud looking at Chinnanna who wassleeping. Chinnanna woke up startled.
“Paddy, jowar, chillies, tobacco, anumus (cow-gram), greengram are the main crops. Adivasis in Sironcha, Netakamis andAres are the main inhabitants here. The two castes have beenincluded in the Harijan caste. Gonds and other also live
scattered.
Many villages do not have electricity. There are a largenumber of wild animals also here. They create problems to usalong with our enemies. The people living in these partshesitate to kill the wild animals as they are afraid of the casesthe forest officers foist on them. Only human beings have nosafety here. If their cattle are killed by the wild animals theofficers throw at them ten or twenty rupees and leave them.”
He stopped his narration and looked at Chinna to enquirewhether he was listening. Chinnanna sat properly adjustinghimself. He was free from the cloud of sleep. The commanderstarted again.
“Cultivation has not yet reached this place. At other placesjowar is grown for food.
Among the gonds here there are many tribes. Their lifestyle is almost the same with minor differences. The gondsmainly depend on jowar gataka or jowar gruel.
In Asarelli, Borralagudem and the neighbouring places,along with the gonds, koya, mala, magida and gond castesalso live in large numbers.
For all these people there is only one college in Sironcha.In Ankisa there is a school upto tenth class in Asaroli,Maddikunta, Arada, Janampalli and Ganagamaru upto seventhclass only. In other villages there are single teacher schools inrecords only.
In Ankisa and Sironcha there are hostels for students. InAhiri there is the free hostel run by Dharmaraj. In Janaganurthere is an Ashram school. The commander drew map lineson the earth with a stick showing canals, rivers, villages androads in a detailed manner.
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“The people here worship Pochamma, Mysamma, Ellammagoddess Lakshmi and other such deities. Next in importanceto the Dasara celebration at the court of Ahiri Maharaj, theMahankali Jatara is of note. It takes place in April every year.The celebration of this jatara takes place in Chintalarevu villageadjoining Ankira. As the people do not have much work atthis time of the year, many people take part in the Jatara.
We must first hit up contacts with Ahiri, Sironcha, Yetapalli,Alapalli, Bhooma Gond, Kishtapuram, Janaganur,Rameshgudem, Kammanuru and other villages around.
In these places though subjects are taught in Marathimedium, Hindi and Telugu are also taught. Many people herespeak Hindi, Telugu, Marathi, Gotte, Koya languages alongwith their mother tongues. But no village has more than oneor two literate persons.
The gonds wear their loin clothes tightly wrapped abovetheir knees. They smoke cheroots rolled in tendu leaves filledwith tobacco. Some tie scarves around their heads.
If any one wears a dhoti like a half lungi, we can identifythem as Gottes. Women wear bead garlands / chains aroundtheir necks usually.” The commander described the dress habitsand appearance of the people in great detail.
“The gonds have full work on their hands here. In the rainyseason they harvest crops. Later they cut bamboo. In Februarythey collect mahuva flowers. Later they chop the branches oftendu trees and when they sprout leaves, pluck them. Thoughthey have enough work, the wages are low. They are subjectedto exploitation by the chiefs and officials. So their lives are nobetter than the gonds of Adilabad.
The girijans here brew their own mahuva arrack. The police
commit atrocities on them making this an excuse. Thegovernment reforms and wellfare measures do not reach thesepeople. With the exception of Ashram schools and hostels,the controlled goods are knocked off by shopkeepers, chiefsand the sarpanchs.
In Ankisa, Asarelli, Pentipaka, Amrajam and other suchvillages there are tanks and pools. Paddy is grown there as asingle crop. Borewells are being dug in recent times. Fiftypaise for cattle and two rupees for a goat herd is collected asgrazing charges. Though the herd is small, a goat has to begiven to the person in charge as bribe. Now and then there areraids conducted and fines are collected. The girijans and thepoor farm labourers are afraid of the men in white clothes asthey are very innocent.
The people are highly superstitious. We may have to mixwith them with great care” The commander thus gave them acomplete and full picture of the place and the people. Hisfollowers listened to him with rapt attention. He gave themmore information. Then they packed their belongings and leftthe place erasing all traces of their having camped there for awhile.
They heard the sound of a thunderclap. The sentry lookedup. There were no clouds. Perhaps it was the noise made by alorry carrying bamboo poles on a forest road at a distance.
The commander warned his followers once again:“Comrades! Don’t be absent minded thinking that we are in adeep forest where the enemy cannot enter, we should notreveal our presence to the enemy under any circumstances.”
They reached a village by evening walking through theforest.
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Cool breeze was to blowing. They lit camp fires here andthere. Holding the plate in one hand and eating with the otherthey started talking with the inmates of the gudem.
The commander could make out where Kurdu lived andmet him. They conversed for a long time.
Within a short time Kurdu called all others. They came andsat around the fire in front of Kurdu’s house. Kurdu introducedthe visitors to the gudem people.
“To increase the wages for cutting bamboo, for the increasein the wages of plucking tendu leaves and to drive away ourdifficulties the god of gods himself has sent these people tous. They will live with us and eat with us hereafter” said Kurduto the gathering.
Some looked at the newcomers suspiciously. Someoneasked, “Did you meet Ahir Maharaj before coming here?”
Kurdu pacified them. “What did Maharaj say during Dasaraa few days ago? “I will make the coolie wages increased byany means. If I cannot do so myself I will send someone,” didhe not tell us? Maharaj might have sent these people to us. Itis not good to suspect people who have come for us from afar off place. Earlier everyone threatened us and lived happily.But these people are begging us. Mark that! Think of it. Can’tthey find food? Take a look at them. They all appear to beeducated. They came to help us.”
Esu got up from where he was sitting and sat by the side ofone of the ‘annas’. Esu looked up at him from top of bottom.He saw the gun in his hand. He looked at it in great excitement.The commander smiled at him in a friendly manner.
The smile of the commander made Esu lose some by hisfear. “What is this?” Esu asked with great interest and curiosity.
He had seen such an object with the landlords and the chiefs.He could not believe his eyes seing it with these people also.
“It is a gun” said the commander. He showed it to Esu.Lakimbai and Moti moved to Esu with curiosity. Everyone ofthem touched it, held it and turned it this way and that andwere overwhelmed with joy.
Esru had covered the wound with leaves and old clothesso that the wound would not open up for the cold. The leaveshad made the bandage look swollen and awkward. As theknot loosened, he tied it hard and asked.
“Can the wild hogs and boars be killed with it?”
“Yes. They can be killed. We can kill with this those whocome to kill us,” said Chinnanna enthusiastically.
“Oh!”
All those gathered there touched the gun again and passedtheir hands on it with great love and affection.
On Kurdu’s suggestion each one of them brought somecooked gataka and gave the visitors. The meal for the gudemthat might was chillies and gataka.
After eating they all resumed their conversation and wenton talking till very late in the night.
Moonlight that covered the forest penetrated through thetree tops and spread itself all over the forest. All the huts in thegoodem were bathed in the moonlight.
Esu, who felt he had found a way, could not sleep the wholenight imagining strange things.
Arunatara Monthly, October, 1984
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13
THE CAPTIVE
This was before I worked as a Revenue Divisional Officer.I mention this now as the occasion arose. I think in everyperson's life there comes a time when he / she falls in love. Ithappened to me also.
After I completed M.Sc., B.Ed., I secured a job as anupper primary teacher. That was the first job I got in my nativedistrict. I had by then completed group I Main Exams. To getthe job of a Revenue Divisional Officer one had to pass throughordeals. I was not sure till I got the job. I was excited andhappy because a job in a village was surely a beauty.
Though I was born in a village, I lived in a hostel frommy eighth class. From then on the village life and town lifegot mingled with my life. I did not go far away from the village.But I could not go close to it. The growing educational needsdid not allow me to give importance to village life. Of courseI did not enjoy town and city life because of financial crunch.But I gained experience of both varieties of life withoutspending a pie.
The job of a school teacher in a village thrilled me. Thereason, perhaps, was that the place of my work was only 50kilometers from my village. I felt happy that the job I gotcertified that I too was of use to society. Not that I did not doanything earlier. But that was the first time for me to secure ajob of the middle classes. That was also one of the reasons for
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younger brother) now.
Lily used to love me with all her innocence. She wasvery naughty. I used to be reserved in the houses of big shots.I had a craving to be called a good teacher by teaching well.Her mother's eyes used to glow as her daughter was improvingin her studies.
It was Lily's mother who made me aware of the love ofoutside world for the first time. Though her name was Janaki.I prefer to call her Lily's mother.
Janaki started treating me as a member of her family astime passed. I learnt in their house the nicities and traditionsof a middle class family which came in handy for me later.
Janaki's love for me made me love her too. She was seniorby far to me in age. She was the ideal wife of an employee.She had a pious heart and was the mother of two children.
These circumstances did not create an obstacle for me tolove her. I knew that as long as my love was hidden in myheart there was no danger. I used to wonder whether therewas the angle of sex in my love–sometimes I felt that it waspresent, sometimes not. On such occasions I used to feelconfused. I was worried whether I was doing some wrong. SoI developed a mind that would just love and drive awaydiscussion.
Lily's mother was the deity I worshipped. Bhakta Meera,the saint singer, worshipped Lord Krishna. If one asks whetherit was only a feeling of worship or whether sex was involvedas an undercurrent, the answer depends upon the culture ofthe individual. I worshipped Lily's mother as Meeraworshipped Krishna It was a sweet thought.
Some kinds of love are sweet. A love that need not be
my happiness and excitement.
In my boyhood I used to accompany my mother to thehouses of Patels and clear cattle dung. The village chief, theReddy, thought of taking me as a farm-hand. My mother wasstrong willed. My father had a noble heart. Though he wasworking as a coolie in brick klins, he had a clear idea aboutthe uses of education. My father yearned to make me atleast aschool teacher.
While young I was a truant. I never liked studies. I likedto follow my father and mother for work. I do not know why,from my boyhood I enjoyed working. I wanted to do somework or the other. I hated to sit and be told to write this andthat. I liked the games played in the school. I used to winprizes in games. Though the steel glass which I won as a prizein the school now got twisted, I love it greatly even today.
How many difficulties did I undergo to find a place inthe hostel! Having joined the hostel I used to work in the ricemills in the night sometimes to earn some small change. Iused to buy note books or buy a cinema ticket with that money.
When I was in the college the scholarship amounts neverreached us in time. Father was not able to send money. Idistributed newspapers and milk satchets in the mornings. Ilearnt masonry work and plastered walls and did many otherodd jobs. Later I did part-time job in a pan shop near a cinemahall in helping the owner with cleaning and cutting betel leaves.In course of time I started giving tuitions to children.
To tell the truth, I learnt what love was when I wasengaging tuitions. I think winning in love also started thenitself. I cannot explain to you how deeply Lily loves me todayalso. I was teaching her when she was in her seventh class.Now she is doing her P.G. course. She calls me 'babai' (father's
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declared or announced is the sweetest. The love I had for Lily'smother belongs to this category. For, by speaking out the love,the power of love is lost to some extent.
Janaki is the mother goddess that sowed the seed in meto love. Now that Lily talks of a relationship, Janaki hasbecome my brother's wife. Janaki is truly my sister-in-law,like the sister-in-law in the characters of Sharat, like a mothershe was the source for me to learn many things. Janakipatronised me as she would her own brother.
In those days I hesitated to tell the truth. But now I don't.The other day I told Lily to her face "the first woman I lovedwas your mother." Lily laughed it away. That day at the dinnertable Lily's father and mother recollected my words andlaughed heartily.
If people did not understand the spirit of feeling in mythought it would have led to a lot of misunderstanding andproblems. So I did not express my feeling openly until I grewinto a man, fully aware of my abilities.
It does not mean that I did not love college girls in mycollege days. I used to think that I was in love with everygood looking and stylish looking girl. Some of them used tovisit me in my dreams. Yet I did not take them in earnest asagents of true love. I do not feel so today also. That is a game.It is a social relation useful to pass time. I do not think therewas love in those assertions. The age is such. That is all externallove. To make me feel so the reason could be the inner feelingthat the girls were the sour grapes which could not be reached.
It was after I became a school teacher I fell in love in thesame manner I had fallen in love with Lily's mother. My lovefor Janaki helped me to understand my mind, learn what lovewas and grow. But I loved Renuka whom I met in the school
in all seriousness not to know myself but to record a win overmyself.
My love for Renuka started in a casual manner. I wasnew to that place. Renu had joined the school a few monthsearlier. Renu belonged to that place. She was a Reddy girl.She was a B.Sc., B.Ed. The school management wanted toupgrade the school into a high school and so they started theeighth class though they had not received the permission. Theycollected donations and paid two teachers their salary withthe donations.
Renu was beautiful though. In her gait, talk and culturethere was a lot of self-confidence, may be because she was aReddy girl or because she belonged to that place. Sheexpressed job security in her self-confidence. Perhaps that wasthe reason for her appearing beautiful and lovable. Perhaps Ientertained in the heart of my hearts the idea of marrying agirl belonging to a higher caste than mine and that may be thereason for my falling in love with her.
Whatever it is, I loved Renu for the first time in life. Shetaught the students with great care and treated the boys as ifthey were all her younger brothers. A heart that loves studentsand children may be prone to love and that quality might haveexposed her gentleness.
I used to devour with my eyes Renu in the school. I usedto laugh whole-heartedly. Renu also behaved similarly. Shetoo laughed freely like me. With a plea to take a look at theirfields we both used to walk on bunds romantically.
It became difficult for me to find a house for myself. Ilived in the house of a teacher on rent in a neighbouring place.Everyone in the place appeared cultured. But they said therewas not a single room for rent. It became very clear to me that
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because of my caste I was not able to get a room on rent.
My determination grew strong. There were indeed a fewhouses of people belonging to my caste. Why should I live inthose houses? The children who were studying in the schoolwere just not from their families alone!
I should teach the children well. They praise me that Iwas a good teacher. They had great respect for me. I do notdisagree. But how did that respect help me when they couldnot let out a room for me?
I made a request to the Block Development Officer totransfer me from the place. He came in his zeep, spoke withthe Sarpanch and others and gave me the free advice that Icould live in one of the houses of the people of my caste. Igrew terribly angry at his advice.
The problem was not finding a house. It was giving aperson regard as a human being. If they give me respect asthey respect themselves, why don't they let out a room? Whyshould I 'gift' education to those who do not respect me? Itwas a problem connected with my ego or self-respect. Thepeople of that place had great sympathy for the naxalites. Ifthat village had such thinking what about other places?
I demanded the school committee either to let out a roomfor me or get me transferred. No member came forward toanswer me.
I expected Renu to ask me to live in their house. I did notknow what thoughts she entertained. When I think of it nowto expect an unmarried girl to invite me to stay in their houseas too ambitious. But they were youthful days. Moreover Iwas entertaining high ideals in those days. I was sure she wouldask me to live in their house.
As a matter of fact what did I lack? I was highly educated.I was handsome enough for a man. I changed my manner ofspeech into a highly respectable variety, thanks to Lily'smother. I was a changed man. Unless I myself revealed mycaste, no one would suspect that I belonged to a low caste.
Anyway, why should I fight shy to reveal my caste whenthe need arises? Just as their caste is a matter of pride forothers, my caste is also a matter of pride for me.
Renu might have thought that I should have told peoplethat I belonged to a higher caste. But does it provide the solutionif the caste in hidden? Was it not escapism? It was a problemconnected with my self-respect.
The B.D.O. transferred me not being able to provideaccommodation for me in that village. My love for Renuremained a bud without blossoming.
I realised how much I loved Renu when I had to leavethe place on transfer. I was pained to leave her. I had by thenentertained plans that I would be a lecturer and that she wouldbe a teacher and that we would be man and wife and lead ahappy life.
It did not take much time for me to realise that Renu alsoloved me.
Though I was transferred. I went to the village on two orthree occasions on some pretext or other and met her. Mypeople also desired that her parents should celebrate ourmarriage on a grand scale.
If her parents think of searching for a lecturer or a R.D.Ofor her, to say the least, they have to spend five or six lakhrupees for the marriage. As for me, I did not want dowry. "Ifthey celebrate the marriage on a decent scale following their
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traditions, that was enough. Was it a great desire?" asked mysisters and relatives.
The words of my relatives reveal their anxiety. If theReddys effect a relationship by marriage with the untouchableslike mala and madiga communities it will create a sensation.If the Scheduled Tribes (STs) and Reddys come together bymarriage, my sisters and brother-in-law felt, they would receivegifts and all previlages and their parents too would be honouredby the Reddy's as their close relatives. If the Reedys did notdo so, things would go terribly wrong. In which case, theyasked me whether I thought only of myself. This possibilityhurt me to the core.
It was true that there was reason in expecting respect tobe shown to them in Renu's house. If that happened – theircoming to our house to meet the groom, our people going totheir house - how much happiness would it create in ourpeople! Their gifting fruits and flowers, eating together after'vara pooja', mutual comings and goings in giving gifts, theScheduled Castes (SCs) feeling over-joyed and going throughother marriage rituals, sitting in the same rows, eating anddrinking, the groom's party coming to the bride's house withfanfare and music,…….. When the sisters were describing therituals as if they were actually happening they were justified.If it does happen, how good it would be! Among many desir-able things, it would be a revolution in the community cultureof the society. In the simple and small desire of my peoplethere was involved such significant change. I could not say'no' to my people's desire. I too felt that I should enjoy socialrespect and to achieve it, the alliance with the Reddys wasdefinitely the way. I stuck to my guns and wanted the wed-ding to be celebrated in the most traditional manner with all
distinguishing tokens.
Renuka, her friends and my friends said it was notpossible. They meant to say if the marriage was surreptitiouslycelebrated at some temple town, later the parents would relentand bless the couple.
Their suggestion was like making a man a dud, the morehe got educated. When the solution was in the hands of theparents why should we act as though what we intended to dowas blasphemous? My people rejected the suggestion withcontempt saying that girls, more qualified than me, werestanding in a queue for my hand.
Finally it was decided that the M.L.A and the R.D.Oshould be invited as chief guests and a stage marriage or aregistered marriage could be arranged as though it was somegreat achievement. My people did not like this solution toobecause instead of changing the minds of the people itsupported escapism. It was a wonder that though the societywas changing families were not changing and falling in line.Was the family making the society its prisoner by not allowingit to change?
Was it beyond my deservedness to love Renuka? "Will itbe possible for Renu to find a better husband that myself?"asked my people. They had no answer. They knew that Renu'slife will not enjoy prosperity. If so why don't they agree toperform the marriage in their house? In what way were theygreat?
The arguement put forth to sooth and pacify my peoplealso hurt me like arrows. It was disgusting to hear thempropound theories keeping aside the caste. If we should bringabout harmony between castes, a marriage of to his kind shouldbe presided over by parents of both families," argued my
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friends.
Renu was prepared to elope with me. I said 'no' to it.Why should I become an enemy to their caste? When theywere not willing to accept me as their son-in-law, what is theguarantee that the repurcussions would not break up ourmarriage? Ranganayakamma had long ago cautioned thesociety in her novel "Bali Peetham" about this possibility.
I waited for two years for Renu. In the mean while I wasselected as R.D.O. Renuka and her relatives were very happy.I expected that they would give Renu in marriage to me as Iwas now a R.D.O but in vain.
My father, mother and sister went to Renu's house tofinalise the alliance and take Renu into our fold. I was happyat their initiative.
Renu, her father, mother and four others came to the placewhere I was working. They said that a stage marriage couldbe performed and later all other aspects would be looked into.
I was elated at the parents of Renu coming down a little.If they accepted me in all earnestness, they could celebratethe marriage in their house. I put forth this point in a politemanner. I received the same old pointless answer.
It was true that I loved Renu with all my heart. It was notcalf love. I have known the world. Actually I was marriedwhen I was my ninth class. But the marriage ended in adivorcee as I was interested in my studies. That girl is nowleading a happy life with her second husband.
I think there is joy in going through the festivities eachage deserves.
Was there a dearth of brides to be given in marriage to aR.D.O.? I liked Mallika who was working as a lecturer. She
was distantly related to my mother and father and they felthappy.
I invited Renuka for my marriage. I knew she would come.She did come. She spent her time happily with everyone asthough nothing had happened earlier. Before leaving she leftbehind all the spirit she had in her eyes. I was pained in theheart. For the first time in my life I felt terribly agitated whetherI had done some wrong.
Renu is now working as a Zilla Parishad (Z.P.) schoolassistant. I learnt that she rejected two or three alliances, I wasagonised in my heart.
I told Mallika the story of my love. She appreciated myfrankness. Mallika is the woman who shared her love to me inabundance as my goddess of love. She offered her heart oflove entirely to me as if she had hidden it only for me all thewhile. We have two children.
Renu visits me now and then. Mallika does not seem toentertain suspicion on Renu. They behave like two sisters withno problems.
Renu started ignoring the world. The rumour that shewas my mistress reached my ears too. "Why take her as mymistress? I could have made her my wife." I wanted to shoutto the world. But whom shall I address!
I did not expect Mallika to make the proposal. Sherequested me to take Renuka as my second wife. Will there bewomen like Mallika?! Such an anticipation was beyond me.
But I did not like the proposal. I still love Renu. I knowthat Renu has preserved me in her heart. "What is your objectionwhen we both have agreed to this arrangement?" askedMallika which hurt me. Was I a non-entity for them?
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I heard that Renu's father committed suicide unable tobear the taunts that he was living on his daughter's salary,himself acting as a go-between. I was agonised. I did not knowwhat to do. I knew that things would get complicated if I wentto her house to condole her father's death.
I thought of sending Lily's mother to Renu. I told Janaki,for the first time, the whole truth. "I thought that you wereonly a determined person but never imagined that you weresuch a stubborn stupid", she slapped me right and left. Shescolded me saying that my ego had brought about the disaster.She accused me of having destroyed two lives thoughtlessly."Set right the wrong atleast now. Go to her yourself", sheordered me. I felt-hurt at Janaki accusing me alone.
I wanted to narrate the problem to Lily and get somerelief. She smiled sweetly and said "Why do you feel worriedso much uncle? What is wrong in what mother told you?" sheasked me.
Janaki and Lily found fault with me. That is what worriesme. Did I commit a mistake? Did I behave cruelly? Or didthey treat me cruelly? Did I create a distance with Renu becauseof my ego? Are not the parents and her relatives also notresponsible for what happened?
Because I was a R.D.O they were approaching me. If Ihad been only a teacher would they have responded in thatmanner? I do not know. I do not have that faith.
But one thing is true that I loved Renu. It was only in hercompany that I could learn what love was and opened up myheart to her in full measure.
I left for Renu's village. By the time I reached her houseshe was lost in making arrangements for the final obsequies.On seeing me she cried her heart out holding me. I too couldnot control my grief.
14
THE COMMONWEALTH
Yellakar is a peculiar man. It is difficult to say when hewould criticize or appreciate a thing. When he criticizes he
raises his voice and creates a situation. If he wants to praisesomething he does it in the same manner he criticizes. If we
remind him that he criticized it earlier he would say that it wascorrect in that context, “In this situation it is correct now”, he
asserts. He would never agree that he was in the wrong. Ifsome one says that one who has no control over one’s tongue
talks like that, he would smile and say” everthing is for ourgood,” but never will he get involved in a discussion. He is
the average Indian.
When Vijayalakshmi was crying at her husband’s death
he said what happened was for her good. As he said it to mehe was saved. If anyone had heard him he would have been
necked out of the pandal,” Tut..Keep quiet. You have no humanfeelings,” I chided him.
“Every day he used to drink heavily and beat his wife.
How can you say that his death in an accident was unfortunate?It was for her good”, whispered Yellakar. I was surprised at
the way he entered into an argument with me. This fellow wassupporting noisily Poshender, Vijayalakshmi’s husband, till
yesterday.
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“Poshender had problems which he could not speak out.No one thinks of destroying his own health and life. He losthis money. His health and prestige was lost. He punishedhimself. If we criticize him and drive him away it would amountto have given him two punishments for one mistake.”
“It was correct then from his point of view. Now it iscorrect from the point of view of Vijayalakshmi. Orei, Venkulu!Think it over calmly, truthfully and without fear. What is theuse of thinking about the man that is dead? Let us think ofthose who are alive. Did Vijayalakshmi enjoy her life even fora day with her drunkard husaband? Now all her worries havebeen solved. She will be given his job. She would get pensionand gratuity also. Her social life brightens. The present lifewill be a golden life for her compared to her earlier life. Shewould educate her children and bring them up.” He calls meVenkulu instead of calling me Venkateswar only to show toothers that he has every authority over me.”
The last journey of Poshender commenced. The ringingcries reached heavens. We both carried the bier for some time.Yellakar supervised the funeral and obasequies personally.
On the third day ritual (feeding the bird) was gonethrough. Close relatives were all invited. Dinner was servedunder the trees near the place where the cremation took place.While attending to diverse activities, Yellekar started the samediscussion.
As Vijayalakshmi continued crying, Sharada, my wifecame and sat by me.
“What you said is correct, brother. But the vacuum createdby the loss of a husband cannot be filled. It is said either themother should be healthy or the husband should be alive.’
What is the use of all enjoyments when the husband is dead?”
When Vijayalakshmi asked that question, I observed aglow on my wife’s face. Sharada left me as someone calledher. My heart missed a beat and a doubt bothered me.
“Yellakar! Do all women think that they would be happyif their husbands are dead? Did you observe the glow on mywife’s face? It appeared as though she sang the old time songwith a change saying ‘the woman who has no husband is anoble woman. O yamma! O yamma!’
“You idiot! The beauty and glow on the face of yourwife Sharada is your reflection! She is happy and satisfiedwith her self-confidence that her husband was alive. How couldyou give such a wrong interpretation?” So saying Yellakarsilenced me.
Sharada came back to me after a while. Yellakar startedhis argument again.” Sharada! In these times it is not a greatloss if the husband is dead as in olden days. These are timeswhen women are starting movements saying they wanteverything except husbands. If they feel the necessity ofhaving a man, how many women are not quietly and silentlyrunning their house holds by taking into their fold a widoweror a young man these days? The world also winks at them.Now such a culture has entered the society. Do anyone nowraise a finger against your chinnamma, Lalitha? One can leada quiet life if a hue and cry is not raised. There is somethingcalled ‘Shukra Neeti’, that is the moral of Shukra.* The society
* Shukra was the guru of King Bali, a rakshasa, who was ruling the threeworlds. When Lord Srimannarayan approached the king as a Vamana (midget)and asked the king to gift him three feet of earth, Bali got ready to give the gift.Shukra warned the king not to concede the gift to Vamana who was no ordinaryperson. He then told the king on what occasions a person can break his promiseto save himself. The moral is that rules have exceptions. So too principles.
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creates acts, values, rules and morals. But they createexceptions also. These exceptions also follow some valuesand morals according to circumstances. These exceptions arecalled ‘Shukra Neeti’ in the world. Whatever is said by anynumber of men, finally it is this ‘Shukra Neeti’ that is followed.In practice, sometimes they are accepted, sometimes they arenot,” concluded Yellakar.
Yellakar has no dearth for examples. Chinnamma wasone day caught red-handed. “We are living together withmutual consent. Who are you to ask me? Don’t you sleepwith your husbands and wives? I too am living as you areliving. I too go to movies like you,” said Lalitha. Catching herred handed helped her. Now she lives with him openly notbeing afraid of anyone,” explained Yellakar.
My blood boiled as Yellakar went on describing the so-called Shukra Neeti, making illicit and illegal connectionssacred and holy. Sharada heard him with great interestpretending as though she hated his talk.
The ritual of feeding the bird was conducted almost onthe level of a garden dinner. No one expressed sorrow at thedeath of Poshender.
On the eleventh day when the kumkum, bangles and thesilver rings of the small toes were being removed from theperson of Vijayalakshmi, my wife Sharada, with two otherwomen shouted that what was being done was cruel andatrocious. “ The kumkum on her brow and coloured sareesdid not come to her with her husband” she cried. Sharada didnot mind if the mangala sutra and the silver toe rings weretaken off. She wanted Yellakar to support her.
I was surprised at the way Yellakar argued with my wife.
The process of making a married woman a window after thedeath of her husband is an awful ritual. Everyone agrees withme. But Yellakar took up a different point of view.-
“Sharada! It is good to break the old memories like that.She will recover from the shock quickly if she does not haveon her person the symbols of her past life. She will gain a newlife soon. It is better if all those bonds are removed.”
No one will agree with Yellakar’s argument. Everyhusband desires that as long as his wife enjoys his pensionand his share of property, the sacred cord he had tied aroundher neck and the kumkum mark he placed on her brow shouldbe with her all her life after he is gone and that a law to thateffect should be made. The speciality of Yellakar is the riversegear in which he drives the point. Sharada kept quiet hearinghim which meant she half endorsed his statement.
A year passed. Vijayalakshmi recovered fast enough. Shetook a job and developed self-confidence. She now wearsbangles and has the kumkum on her brow which widows aredenied. She wears sarees according to her choice. WhenVijayalakshmi talks freely and smilingly with Yellakar, I havemy doubts. Sometimes we cannot ask certain things forclarification with those who are close to us. We cannot discussour doubts also.
One day Yellakar raised a new topic. “Venkulu! The manwho passed rules that a widow who enjoys her dead husband’sproperties etc. should not marry again is a sadist. For thechildren to grow up with self-confidence that they have a father,marriage is necessary for the mother. She would get the creditof having sustained the children and the lineage of the firsthusband. The heads of our ancestors were filled with the mudcalled selfishness. I do not know what it is if a man does not
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think that his own lineage will continue if his wife re-marries,Is it innocence or idiocy?”
There was truth in what Yellakar said. Lalitha’s childrencall Venkatanarayana ‘babai’ meaning father’s younger brother.Though they do not call him father, he never treated themwith any discrimination. The children also treat him as theirfather. Their eldest daughter’s marriage was celebrated recently.Lalitha and Venkatanarayana washed the feet of the groom.No one objected to it. Those who did not like the marriageand had objections, did not attend the wedding.Venkatanarayana admitted Lalitha’s son into B.Ed. coursepaying his fee etc. Though there was some confusion,Venkatanarayana solved it by saying he was treating everyonealike. With that they kept quiet. Now I have a doubt whetherYellakar is taking the route of Venkatanarayana. He clearedthe doubt himself.
“Orei Venkulu*! A trickish problem has to be solvednow” said Yellakar. But Yellakar was not the hero in the story.He was a ‘marriage elder’ . He explained the problem.
“The other day Vijayalakshmi spoke for a long time. Shewanted to know what I felt about Rajeswar. She also said thatRajeswar himself wanted to know my idea about him. If theyboth ask in that manner what does it mean? Does it not meanthat we should accept and bless them to live together? What isit we can do in such a case as theirs? Their request amounts totheir saying that we should act as elders and solve any problemthat may arise in the future,” he said and after a while he lookedat my Sharada.
Rajeshwar was none else than Sharada’s brother. That is,
he is my brother-in-law. Within four years of his marriage,problems arose and their appeal for divorce has been pendingin the court for nearly a year. Vijayalakshmi and Rajeswarneed a marriage that has no legal sanction.
“What did you say?” I asked Yellakar because I knowhe is a double edged sword. He is more strewd than me. Hedid not commit himself with any reply.
Discussions went on for a week or ten days. Sharada,myself and Yellakar came to a decision.
Rajeswar and Vijayalakshmi invited about eight familiesclose to them for dinner. We also invited the two for dinnerand presented them with a saree and a dress. They were bothliving happily.
After sometime Yellakar made a deadly attack onRajeswar like a thunderbolt without lightning giving a warningfirst. Vijayalakshmi, Sharada and myself did not know whomto support.
“Some people lecture that globalistion and Americanimperialism are the enemies of the people of the world. Asection of the ruling party does this propaganda deliberatelyto divert people’s mind from the internal bickerings of theruling party. They have a big mouth. That same mouth is theinternal enemy of India – the mouth called caste system andcaste divisions. Caste is the important hurdle for India to growinto a major power they say. Do you know why they say it? Itis they who get the most benefit in every way because of thecaste systems,” said Yellakar.
Yellakar who had all along attacked privatistion,globalisation, World Bank and Galt, suddenly changed his* Elders call the youngsters in this manner. It is also a friendly mode of
address.
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attitude and we did not know the reason. We repeated to himhis own reasoning.
“Orei Venkulu! Those who study history agree on onepoint. Changes in our country did not take place without thecomings and goings of foreigners. Because of Aryans of theolden days, the muslims of the previous years and the recentEuropeans, the static society and institutions got disturbed.Changes also took place in the caste system. Kabir, GuruNanak, Ramananda, Ramanuja, Chaitanya, Guru Ravi Das,Tukaram and their devotional approach took place to mitigatethe influence of Islam and safeguard and reform their religion.Rajaram Mohan Roy and Kandukuri Veereshalingam’sreforms would not have been possible if the British were notruling in India. Don’t you agree?” asked Yellakar. We couldnot answer him…. To listen to what else he was going to say,I just nodded consent.
“Look here, Sharada! Modern education, medicaltreatment and industries developed because of the Europeans.Because of their rule and influence, we could get such a goodconstitution and equal rights. SCs and STs could gainreservations. Would all this have been possible if the rulersbelonged to the exploiting castes? The B.Cs are not gettingpolitical reservations even after fifty years of independence.Are these examples not sufficient to say that if the foreignerhad not come to our country how hard-hearted the rule of ourpeople would have been? So to prevent the conservatives fromtaking our country back to the Vedic times there should bethe association with the foreigner. The answer is globalisation.No one has the power to stop globalisation. Intelligent peopleshould be at the forefront of the movement” and can makepossible things instead of negating and discussing things which
cannot be achieved. When Hindutwa promoters themselvesare welcoming globalisation to serve their ends why shouldyou and I oppose it?”
“Orei Yellakar! The poor people of our country have losttheir professional livelihood. How are they to live?” I askedhim.
“Do you think that poor people are living happily? Thegovernment itself declared that sixty percent of the populationis below the poverty line. They are hardly dressed in a loincloth. What else can be poorer than that? If anything, theymay lose that also. Do you know what the “imperialistic socialeconomy” says? What will the American think when the Indiandoes not have even the loin cloth? It is beneficial to him if thepurchasing capacity of the Indian grows. Just as he is tryingto give education so that they can read the names of the articleshe has been supplying, he will also do something to see thateveryone has enough to eat. It is the middle class joys thattake the dip. That is why the big and small industrialists aremaking so much noise. They paint a poor picture of the poorand tell the poor that they would grow poorer only to enjoytheir own happiness,” concluded Yellakar.
“Brother-in-law! The argument of Yellakar is horrible.He is supporting those who are selling away the country.”Rajeswar gave his version of the argument. But it was not histhinking. But it was the effect of Yellakar brain-washing him.
“Without giving reservations to B.C.s on a full scaleconstitutionally as in the case of Scs and STs, saying that casteis the first internal enemy of this country and without solvingthe caste discrimination, talking about globalisation alone isnot correct. A person who talks in that strain is a traitor in myview. Because this is the problem of the majority of the people.
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A country means the people who are in the majority. It is thehigher castes that are selling away our country. Without firstpulling them down from power, without fighting, whatever issaid by them is worse than treachery.”
“Where does caste exist!” said Vijayalakshmi. The lifeshe was leading with Rajeswar was a result of the inter-castemarriage. She meant that in their case the caste did not createany problem.
It was not possible to convince and make Yellakar agreeto a point of view.
“The American writer Gail Omvedt settled in America.She wrote many articles on this issue for nearly six years.Someone gave me the articles. Get them Xeroxed and readthem,” Yellakar gave me free advice. He knows that the veryidea of readings makes us feel sleepy. Rajeswar stopped talkingwith Yellakar since then. Yellakar felt hurt. Should he stoptalking over such a small thing forgetting all the help renderedin earlier days?
After sometime the court awarded the divorce orders toRajeswar.
He got vexed sending half his salary every month to hisformer wife for one year. He started to tighten his grip on herearnings and expenditure. She had suffered earlier. She beganto support him. She would keep away from the house on somepretext at the time of his arrival home. She started bathing incold water. For her the future of her children was of importance.She kept herself under control.
Rajeswar did not reveal the condition at home to anyonelike a thief stung by a scorpion. He resigned his job as hehated to send money to his former wife everymonth. He stopped
sending her money after resigning. He kept quiet thinking hewould act as and when she went to court again.
She approached Sharada for help. By then she understoodwhat respect she commanded and happiness she enjoyed ather mother’s place. She experienced hell at her mother’s towhich place she went proudly. She cried her heart out tellingSharada her plight. She was the wife of her brother. Sharadawas sorry and asked her to stay with her for some time. Sheassured that she would talk to her brother. She suggested thatSadhana should rent a house nearby and educate her children.She consoled Sadhana saying that mothers treat children withlove and respect as long as the daughters do not depend onthem. Sadhana cried that she would not have thought of divorceif she had known that life would be so awful, though her peopleencouraged her to divorce her husband. Sharada also wasmoved to tears at her brother's life and Sadhana's.
One day Sharada made Sadhana do all the cooking andinvited her brother to eat food at her house. Sadhana keptaway from the sight of her husband. Rajeswar ate relishingevery dish. Sharada and I went to a movie leaving them in thehouse.
Sadhana and Rajeswar were on talking terms now. Shelives very near our house and is educating her children.Rajeswar visits her now and then.
Rajeswar met Yellakar. He agreed that he had a point inhis argument of globalisation. Anyhow he made friends withYellakar, again. Like Lord Srikrishna, the Geethakar, he assuredRajeswar that he was there to protect him. Yellakar asked meand also Sharada for our advice. What experience do we havein these matters? It was the first time for us to hear and observesuch a case. Lalitha's problem got settled already. This case
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went topsy turvy. We were confused.
“Orei Venkulu! I too am not able to digest it. We have tofeel that everything that happens is for our good. The husbandand wife who got separated came together again. They willbe happy hereafter because of the many experiences theygained during their separation. Sharada, if Sadhana could winkat Rajeswar’s relationship with Vijayalakshmi there will be noproblem. Everyone could live happily like the Common WealthCountries,” said Yellakar again.
“Sharada! The Common Wealth is the forum establishedby countries which gained independence from the British rule.Though the British left, their culture has not left us. Thecountries did not like to sever all connections with the British.The association of the Commonwealth countries gotestablished like that. In the same way globalisation. The cultureand connections will continue. So long as the parent institutioncontinues, the adjustments on the lines of ‘Shukra Neeti’ willbe inevitable!” continued Yellakar. The problem with Yellakaris whatever he says appears reasonable and rational.
For two years everthing went well. Rajeswar got vexedby doing small jobs and trying his hand in business. Hemastered computer knowledge and went away to Americaseeking a job. He started sending money every month. Hemade Yellakar responsible in using the money. He came toIndia after a year and a half and called his country ‘dirty India’,‘dirty Indians’. He ententained all friends at a good dinnerparty. When Rajeswar came to India, Vijayalakshmi’s son wasdoing final year B.Tech. His younger sister was doing B.Sc.computers. Yellakar’s daughter secured a free seat at EAMCET.Sadhana’s children were in Inter and tenth class. Though theywere studying in India, their minds were hovering around
America. It was surprising how Rajeswar changed so quickly,he who had hated America and globalisation. Yellakar wasnot surprised at the change.
“Orei Venkulu! What is there in it to feel surprised? Hatredis the other form of desire! If you hate anything with all yourheart, it means you desire it strongly. When grapes cannot bereached people hate them saying they are sour. When theycan reach them, they eat them. Illicit relationships also aresimilar. When it becomes inevitable to accept what is hatedand when that becomes a part of life, people begin to lovewhat they hate. You will get angry if you are asked to washthe bottom of others but the mother does it because she has todo it and loves doing it. Many people hate power. If power iswithin their reach do they keep quiet? They love it and getused to it. This is natural in life. Rajeswar’s case is also thesame,” said Yellakar preaching ‘jagavatgeetha’.
Rajeswar stayed in India for a few days and left forAmerica. Rajeswar’s earnings created problems to Yellakar.Yellakar’s wife Raga Ragini started grumbling. “Though wework hard the entire year, your earnings are not equal toRajeswar’s monthy salalry. You also apply for passport andmanage to get a visa.” Ramya, his daughter was listening toher mother’s complaint. It was clear what the mother anddaughter had in their mind. Even if he sold the site of hishouse, he would not be able to get an American allaiance forhis daughter.
Yellakar who supported globalisation and Americasuddenly started opposing it. “They have no history. Theyhave no culture. They are the blood hounds who killed a largenumber of locals called Red Indians and others and occupiedcontinents shamelessly. They, whose population is far less
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than our state occupied Africa, Australia, America and Asiancontinents. Africa, Australia and America did not get freedom.They are the power mongers who distorted history. They arewar mongers and useless fellows. America itself got boggeddown in economic crisis. It is silly that we should go there.America is able to get on using the baton, its currency and itsarmaments. It is able to exist with the rise and fall of the dollarand the exchange problems. The value of a dollar does notexceed the Indian five rupees. But our inefficient governmenthas raised it to forty and fifty rupees. Do you know that thevalue of the Indian rupee at the time of independence wasslightly higher than the British pound and American dollar? Itis our own government that reduced the value of the rupeeand destroyed it.” In this manner Yellakar went on cursingand criticizing.
Within a year Rajeswar got Vijayalakshmi’s son,Navneeth to America. Navaneeth was now a software engineer.Sharada, Sadhana and Vijayalakshmi were making theirattempts to find a bride for him. But Yellakar stopped visitingus and telephoning also. He does not reveal what happenedin his family.
After Navaneeth left for America, Sadhana andVijayalakshmi shifted into a house together. Vijayalakshmi gotherself transferred to the city. Later they shifted to Hyderabadand started living in a flat.
Now they are living independently. Once they dependedon us for every small thing. On the other hand we starteddepending on them either for money or some work now.Yellakar’s wife Raga Ragini went alone and met Sadhana andVijayalakshmi and stayed there for two or three days. Shetried to convince them that the boy should marry a girl known
to them and not a distant girl whose behaviour was not known.Sadhana and Vijayalakshmi spoke with Rajeswar on phone.They sought Navaneeth’s opinion. Yellakar’s daughter Ramyawas born and bred before them. She was an engineer. Theyboth will live doing their jobs. Why bother about dowry? Thegirl will earn double the dowry amount in one year. That washow they discussed the issue. After the match was settledYellakar started talking to them. He had his selfishness.
When the match was fixed for Navaneeth, he could callRajeswar ‘daddy’ on the phone and none objected to it.Rajeswar and Vijayalakshmi played the parents of the boy.Sadhana was happy as if her own son was getting married.Yellakar’s eye moistered.
“Orei Venkulu! These are not just tears. These are tearsof joy. Did I ever dream of an American alliance? Did any ofus dream that Navaneeth would go to America? If his drunkardfather, that Poshender was alive, would his son have becomeatleast a school teacher? Vijayalakshmi would have died longago for the blows she received. Navaneeth would have failedInter and would have become a vagabond. What do you say?”asked Yellakar. I was surprised that even in his hour of joy hedid not give up his critical attitude and truthful analysis.
“The good that has been done will not go waste. Yourgoodness has helped you, there was just a little delay!” I saidappreciating him.
Twenty days after the marriage, Navaneeth and his wifeRamya left for states along with Rajeswar. Navaneeth couldmanage to get a Visa for Ramya in no time. We all saw themoff being with them till they got into the plane.
In the night the thought about my children engaged my
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attention and I grew thoughtful.
“Why are you still here without joining us at food?” askedYellakar.
“What makes you so deeply thoughtful? Are you worriedat what Sharada said regarding your children and their future?Things do not happen according to our wish. If it could be so,we would have been in the state of the early man. Do youknow why? Because our desires and wishes do not move andgo beyond our experiences,” opined Yellakar.
“That’s not it. I am happy that Vijayalakshmi andSadhana became close like sister,” I said to change the topic.
Yellakar posed like Lord Sri Krishna, the Geethakar.
“Oeri! They are like Commonwealth Countries! They willbe together. America that robs us and India that gets robbedwill remain friends tomorrow also. The necessities to keepthem together grow as and when needed as they helped thesetwo women.”
“That’s not what I am bothered about. It is about the braindrain,” I said.
“Orei Venkulu! Don’t make a theory that grapes whichyou cannot reach are sour. What if there is brain drain? If theyexport articles we export human beings. Human beings aregreater than articles. The wealth of Europe and America is thecommonwealth of humanity. That is the wealth derived afterexploiting and robbing Asia and African countries for fourhundred years. Read what Ram Manohar Lohia has written.Is the wealth of America which robbed the Red Indians, theproperty of the Europeans? It belongs to us all. Australia alsobelongs to all of us. If we too go there like others, their wealth
becomes ours. Lohia said so many things but did not statethat the wealth of the OCs is the result of the commonwealthof BCs over all these thousands of years. Orei Venkulu! If it isnot your foolishness, what do you mean by globalisation ofarticles? The globalisation of articles is the globalisation ofenergy power! When energy power globalisation takes placehow long will globalisation of workers take place! When oncearticles are globalised, will not human beings get globalised?It will somehow or other lead to the universal family,” theorizedYellakar.
I could not say a word. His daughter Ramya and his son-in-law might have gone to America but this changed hisattitudes. If I said this to him he would scold me saying” donot theories that grapes are sour."
I accompanied him to eat food as the women folk werewaiting.
(To Kaloji with love, who on 21.10.2001 appealed to mewith tears in his eyes saying “Ramulu, Kaluva Mallaiah andPratapa Reddy-you should continue writing in Telanganalanguage. If language is lost there is no culture. There isnothing else. Save our language” on the occasion of a culturalprogramme under the presidentship of Ambati Surendra Rajuin Warangal)
Prajashakti, Sunday, 6th & 13th January 2002,That’s Telugu.com – 2002
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15
INSTINCTS
The question they asked me when we met for the lasttime occurs to my mind again and again. What confidence inthose eyes! Those four eyes haunt me still. They keep shootingrepeatedly piercing questions.
Three years passed since they asked me the question thatgot stuck in my heart like a dagger. If I had plucked it out andput it down on paper then itself, there would not have been somuch of agony. New experiences got piled on the old agonyand like the over-growth of putrified flesh, covered up thedagger. But which way I turn, the memories of the boys, whichgot encased in my mind, prick me. I cannot bear this pain inmy heart any longer.
To tell the truth, I am not a great story teller. The necessitiesthemselves made me a story teller. The process of writingstories stopped three years ago. Just as a great sorrow makesone forget the lesser sorrow, life made me forget the pain aboutthe boys. Sometimes, the lesser pain and the greater pain joinhands all at once and torture me. I cannot but bear it as thelesser pain gave rise to the greater pain.
Three days ago there was a letter again. I saw it after Ireturned from the college. It was from him, form Babu. Hewrote it from the Central Jail, Rajahmandry. In that letter toothe same eyes, the same looks and the same questions.
I am afraid to write a reply. They were both my students.But they grew up beyond my reach in a sphere which is notmy field. So whenever I remember their words, I suffer froma guilty feeling. The thought that I made a mistake haunts me.
They are Babu and Seenu. They belong to the same agegroup of Appu and Chirukanda. If I had not read thenovel,”Chirasmarana,” perhaps I would not have pardonedthem at all. I read the novel five years ago. The charactersmove before my eyes. Whenever there is a mention of mystudents, I remember Appu and Chirukanda. Now the formsof these two got merged with Babu and Seenu. This merger ofidentities took place three years ago.
A bond of kinship connects my two students and thetwo characters. Babu and his friend brought me the novel.There was a stamp of the library of their student’s union onthe book. On observing the stamp, I threw the book away.
At that time, I was keeping a distance from such activities.We did not see eye to eye with the student unions. So I neverallowed anyone of their company to come anywhere near me.Yet, I could not cut off my acquaintance with the two boys. Iwas not the cause for that situation. It was because of mywife.
The two boys and my wife belong to the same place.Their sisters were the childhood friends of my wife. My wifeused to address the boys with intimate familiarity. Their sistersused to work in the fields of my mother-in-law. Of course, mymother-in-law did not belong to a wealthy family. Sheperformed the marriage of her daughter with me giving methree thousand rupees as dowry when I was unemployed.
After my marriage, I worked for some time in that village
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as the head master of the Upper Primary School. It was duringthat time, the two boys became known to me. In that schoolthere were many such boys like these two. They used to visitour house often in torn clothes and with running noses. I feltdisgusted looking at them. But my wife treated them as if theywere her brothers. She entrusted work to them with equalauthority.
Working in my mother-in-law’s place benefited me in away. My prestige among my relatives grew high, very highindeed. There was no one among my relatives from both sideswho rose to the high position of a headmaster of a school.Moreover, I used to write stories now and then which otherscould not.
Along with the benefits, I had to share a few losses also.My better half deprived me of the fifty percent freedom Ienjoyed. In addition, she forced her relatives and friends onme. These two boys were among those whom my wife forcedon me. Under the guise of seeking tution from me and othersuch excuses they kept on hanging around me. I on my partwas smarting under the feeling that they belonged to a lowcaste. Though I too belonged to a low caste, I had a very lowopinion and contempt for Harijans. I do not know why Ientertained such a feeling. Now the very fact of callingsomeone a Harijan strikes me as most inhuman. Peoplemarking down someone as a Harijan seems most disgusting.
I got myself transferred from that place when every fellowstarted showing off as a member of some association or otherof the agriculture labourers. I lost my mental equilibrium. Whohas the patience to get on with such politics? Local politicswere taking despicable shapes and forms. Even a stupid whodid not know the three ‘R’s would talk of politics. The situation
was something like standing between the devil and the deepsea.
The conditions in all other villages were equally bad. SoI got myself transferred from the Samithi schools to ZillaParishad schools. There too the competition was keen. I putinto force all the influences I had at command and got postingsto the Z.P. School of the Taluka centre of my choice.
I was happy as a school assistant with no responsibilities.It was then I completed my M.A with literature. But even atthe new place, the two boys did not leave me. They came tome with their pass certificates having passed the seventh classalong with their parents. They held my feet literally and didnot release me till I gave my word for their admission.
They were just not satisfied for having got admittedwithout paying donations. They started pestering me to getthem admitted in the Harijan hostel. There was my wife athome to sing their support. Anyway, what could I do?Admission in that hostel was not in my hands. I met the wardenand handed him a few recommendation letters also. Once Iinvited him to my house and threw in a wet party too.
In this way they came back to me though I had tried toget rid of them. Along with my wife, my children joined handswith the boys. I learnt that my wife was entertaining the boyswith tea and refreshments without my knowledge. I used topretend as though I was unaware of this activity as I was apractical administrator. They too kept themselves within theirlimits.
In course of time, the boys started treating my wife astheir own sister. If my children suffered from cold, the boystook them to the hospital. When my wife was in the hospital
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for an operation, they attended on her. I was knocking aboutplaces in connection with our Union activities and problems.I do not know when and how the feeling of assurance grew inme that the two boys were a part of our family. In due course,I was not bothered to go home early. Sometimes, I used to bea little indifferent also.
The boys lived in a different world. I did not like theirways. I do not understand what my weakness is. But I do notknow why I could not imagine my house without them. Therewas some mystery in their very approach to things. I couldnot oppose it. I too surrendered myself to them.
In this manner, the two boys got merged with my family.They did not leave me alone while attached to my house. Theybehaved like my children with me. Such a behaviour mademe feel amused and I liked them. I felt as though my self-confidence grew hundred fold because of them. I wonder howa feeling that they were my sons and brothers grew in me. Itoo began to boss over them.
How much they used to amuse me by asking a hundredand one mischievous questions! How many books they mademe read, appearing very innocent and docile! It is a mysteryhow they imbibed that approach. My wife read the novel“Madhavi” with her smattering knowledge. Not only that, sheforced me to read it too.
They conquered my wife. Did they keep quiet till I read“Chirasmarana”? Can’t I understand even if they pretendedinnocence! They used to ask me about the teacher in that novel,about the boys and many other details about them. Could Imanage without reading it?
I felt very inconvenient reading about the teacher in the
novel. I wondered why the teacher subjected himself to allthat bother without spending life happily like me There wasno harm if we did not achieve great things. But we feel veryuneasy if a common man like us performs great deeds.
By the time I completed reading the novel it was midnight.Tears of sorrow ran down my cheeks. I felt sweaty all overmy body. I was worried whether I was living in a body thatbelonged to some one else, I could not be my usual self untilafter three days.
I cannot express in words the influence of that novel onme. I did not know what I should do. Finally I could understandthat such a feeling arose in me because I liked the two boys.They brought about many changes in my individual life. ButI never dreamt that they would bring about such changes inmy social life also. I still do not understand why the story ofthese two boys should increase the distance between me andmany others.
• • • • • •
This happened three years ago. By then police campswere set up as well as labour associations of ryots also. Thehunt for militant youth was an every day occurence. Theparents of the youth who could not be arrested were subjectedto hellish torture. The police started driving cattle into theirfields to graze. It was hardly a year the Telugu Desam hadcome to power.
The two boys were studying degree classes inKarimnagar. At dead midnight Babu was arrested on a road.Seenu escaped and ran away.
It was not known what crime they had committed.Perhaps it was a crime to be seen walking along a road at
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midnight. It was not known how the police came. Theyswooped on the boys all of a sudden. Babu had no time toescape. He was caught.
They were arrested in Karimnagar but they were shiftedto three police stations.They were brought to Huzurabad stationthree days ago. Their parents came to know of it and went tothe station. They were beaten up and thrown into the lock-upat Zammikunta.
Ten days passed after Babu was arrested. I think animalsalso will not be tortured in that manner. He lost all hope ofbeing alive. But the police did not allow him to die.
• • • • • •
Babu was moaning in the lock-up. He had hiccups often.Some others also were moaning beside him. Four or five otherswere lying on the stone floor in different postures. In the roomopposite four others were groaning in pain.
The sentry struck eleven on the gong. But for that soundthere was silence in the station. The ticking of the wall clockwas clearly audible. The wireless was screeching every nowand then. The air was stuffy. It was sultry. The smell of urineadded to the sultriness The unpleasant smell was wafting intothe verandah frequently.The inmates of the cells seemed tohave got accustomed to the stench. Their groans and moanswere increasing.
“ Why did you act like that?” Didn’t you know about allthis?” It was the voice of the sentry. There was no anger in thevoice. No reprimand. It was a voice that was tired of a routine.
The moans did not stop. The inmates knew that they haveto suffer this pain. But their bodies were not able to withstand
the pain.
They did not know how long they had been suffering.They did not know whether it was night or day. The screechingof the wireless and the ticking of the clock were being heard.Suddenly the sound of a jeep .That sound was like a nightmareto them. Their blood congealed and their hearts dried up.
The sentry got alert. The Deputy Superintendent of Police(D.S.P.) gave the order. Babu was taken out and pushed intothe jeep. Two S.I s and one Circle accompanied the D.S.P.Behind them two vans full of constables.
The jeep picked up speed. Babu moaned at the rockingmovement of the jeep. But the police personnel didn’t react.The jeep turned right suddenly and was about to turn tustlebut gained balance. The road perhaps was not smooth. Thejeep shed speed. After a forty minute run it stopped.
“Was it here?” asked the D.S.P sharply.
“Yes sir.”
Two vans came and stopped. Eighty policemen were readywith their arms. The D.S.P. walked behind Babu. The policebranched off into four batches, eighty of them. Babu fell downtripping on something.
He moaned.
“What happened?”
“My feet are full of blisters. It is difficult for me to walksir.”
The D.S.P. asked a policeman to give support to Babu.Babu held the shoulder of the policeman. His hands were alsopaining. He was about to fall after some paces and placed his
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hand on the D.S.P. The sharp pebbles on the ground were
paining his feet. The lathi blows and the tortures he was put toagonised him. His muscles and nerves experienced shooting
pain at his bodily movements. There were tears in his eyes.His mind wandered about in many directions. ‘How happy it
would be if I breathed my last in such a situation,’ he thought.At the same time courage from somewhere was knocking at
his heart and rushed up to his throat after a while. Even in thatsevere pain, he suddenly shouted, ”We have arrived, sir.”
Fear ran through the spine of the D.S.P. and he trembled.His body shook and shuddered. He looked round peering
through his eyes. It was dark. Why did this fellow so suddenlyshout about the place? The D.S.P. gave the order. The
policemen walked away in four directions.
It was a hill. They were going up crawling on all fours in
the “laying” position. It must have rained in the morning. Thehill was wet. Their feet were getting stuck in the slush here
and there and also getting squeezed in the crevices of the rocks.They proceeded for nearly quarter of an hour. At the sound of
a stone rolling down, the D.S.P. became alert. In that confusionhis forehead got scratched by the branches of a thorny bush.
He was agitated.
“Oh you fellow!”
“Sir.”
“How does your Chandranna look like?”
“He looks striking.”
“That means?”
Babu collected some courage. His bleeding lips wereburning. The dried wounds prevented him from talking. For
ten days his body was subjected to hellish torture and he lostcontrol over it. He moaned with pain. Yet he collected all hisstrength and tried to talk aloud.
“Oh! He has huge moustaches. His head.is double thesize of your head. He is muscular and looks like a masterwrestler. He is taller than you sir.”
“Everyone says he is thin like a reed. What is it youdescribe him so?”
“That was the story of long time back. If he catches holdof a person like you and gives a pull, the other person shouldsomersault three times. If people just see him, they shouldurinate in fear.”
The D.S.P. felt his bowels squirming in his stomach.
“Chat! You bastard! Shut up.”
Perhaps even yogis too cannot smile in such pain. Babusmiled to himself. With that he felt his bodily pains gettingsoothed to some extent.
Clouds were gathering. The stars disappeared. Darknessgrew tenfold. Cold winds blew chillingly. The chill winds cutthe open wounds like saws. The wind may result in rain or theclouds may get blown off.
The D.S.P. startled when something cold touched his knee.He felt as though he had pressed with his knee against a snakethat was lying coiled. He drew back. A policeman hit the placewith the butt of his gun again and again. There was nothingexcept soft wet earth.
“How far yet form here?”
“We have to go up some more distance, sir!”
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The D.S.P. shouted ‘ammo’ with a hoarse voice.
Babu slumped down not being able to walk. Yet he triedto stand up.
“What happened sir?”
“You son of a bitch. It is because of your actions wehave to suffer. My knee hit some stone boulder.”
They were going up almost crawling. Only the noise oftheir movement was being heard. Their figures were not visible.They were surrounding the hill from three directions. An hourpassed. Their skin was getting tightened in the chill breeze.Babu felt that flies were biting his raw wounds. He felt likescratching the wounds with all his strength.
The clouds moved away in the sky. The stars glowedagain twinkling like the hope of the D.S.P. He looked this wayand that way climbing the hill. There was another hill by theside of the hill they had climbed. Far away on the right side ofthe second hill, he saw the flames of fifty or sixty torches. TheD.S.P. was terrified. He observed on the other three sides. Onthe other sides also he saw the flames of burning torches. Therewas nothing but silence. There was no sound except that ofthe blowing wind.
At a distance, perhaps, the Circle Inspector lighted hismatchbox. The D.S.P. hissed ‘sh’ and the light went off. Apoliceman was carrying Babu on his back. Suddenly he letBabu off his shoulder and adjusted his rifle. Babu fell downand got stuck in the slushy earth. The nails of his feet and thesoles were bleeding. He shouted in pain. The policeman hitBabu with his elbow again and again on his back. Babusuppressed his tears as his deep seated sorrow ebbed out. With
great difficulty he controlled himself. In the meanwhile thevoice of the D.S.P. was heard exclaiming ”Bapre!” Babumoved crawling towards the D.S.P. “What happened sir?” heasked looking round.
“Why do you ask me ‘what happened?’ Look there. Seehow many of your people are coming to attack me with theirtorches. What will be their number according to yourthinking?”
“I don’t know sir. If about fifty had collected from eachvillage, they might be five hundred sir.”
“Five hundred! What type of gun does your Chandrannapossess?’
“If you call it a gun it won’t be correct sir. If it goes offmaking a ‘phat phat ‘ sound, no one can stand before it sir. Itlooks like the weapon used in Hindi films fired during thescenes in the borders, sir.”
“Sten gun?”
“May be, sir.”
A great sound was heard in that silence. Someone washurtling down along with his rifle. ‘Ya allah!’ a voice cried inagony. The D.S.P. shouted at once.
“Someone has fallen down tripping on something, sir.”
“Who asked you? Shut up.”
One hour passed.
“You fellow, Babu! Why don’t you speak?”
“You asked me to shut my mouth, sir.”
“Look here. The torches are not moving. Only a few are
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moving. They look like the lanterns kept to keep a watch onthe fields. Don’t they, fellow?”
“I think they are what you say, sir.”
“But till now you were saying they were torches.”
“What do I know sir? When you said so I thought theymight be torches.”
They climbed another hill. They started combing the areathoroughly. They were all getting wounded and injured. Theywere losing the hope of gaining any advantage. The D.S.P.looked at his radium watch. It was nearing four thirty in themorning. The effect of the drinks they had evaporated longago. It was biting cold. Everyone was feeling fidgety. TheD.S.P. approached Babu. With his palm as thick and hard asthe back of the tortoise, he slapped Babu on the face.
“Bastard! Where is Chandranna?”
Babu almost lost his senses, twisted and fell flat on hisface. His ear drums seemed to have got effected. He washearing a humming sound. Blood oozed from his mouth. Hetried to spit it out. But he had no energy to do so. The saliva inits fluid state dripped on his vest. The D.S.P went on hittingBabu and he started hiccupping as if his throat would split.
“When so many of you were searching and could notfind him how can I detect him?”
“You told me that he met you in these hillocks. You saidhe had a hiding here. When did he last meet you in thesehillocks?”
“Two years ago sir.”
The D.S.P’s booted foot landed on the ribs of Babu.
‘Ammo’ cried Babu in great agony. His head hit a stone.It was dark all around.
“Chat, Bastard. What did you say a little while ago? Yousaid you met him ten days ago. Now you say something else.Tell the truth, you bastard.”
Babu was losing his senses for the beatings he received.His eyes grew dim. He was slipping into an unconscious state.His body was getting cold. He felt as though he was driftingand floating away as in a dream. His end was nearing. If heslipped into a coma, his being alive was in doubt. He wastrying to maintain his senses alert. He was trying to rememberhis past. He was able to imagine a vague picture of his past.
School, college, hostel, student’s union, wall-writing,pamphlets and their distribution, processions, meetings at taluklevel, district meetings, state meetings, strikes, arrests… thatday, ten days ago he and Seenu were pasting posters againstlock-up deaths. How they came, he didn’t know. They camesuddenly and pounced on them. He didn’t know whathappened to Seenu. They put him to torture asking him toshow them his room. A friend of a neighbouring village waswaiting for him at his room unaware of his being arrested.Tortures again. Mother, father, elder sister, younger sister,brother-in-law, teacher, all, all were moving away somewherebefore his eyes. He was not able to move and slumped there.He was eager to get up.
Yet the torture did not stop. Babu did not open his mouth.He could not weep or cry. The D.S.P. was getting haughty.Babu collected all his wits and spoke word by word with greatdifficulty.
“First I told you correctly. You subjected me to severe
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beating. You pricked pins into my toe nails. You stuffed chillipowder into my anus. You beat me with lathis on my nailsand soles of my feet. You broke four lathis beating me askingme whether I met him ten days ago or not. As I could not bearthe pain, I said ‘yes’.”
“You bastard. If you are beaten, should you not tell thetruth? Will you tell a lie?”
“You beat me when I told you the truth. What should Ido? What you said I repeated. Did I not agree when you askedme whether I was involved in particular cases? This is alsolike that.”
“To what difficulties and troubles you put us, youbastard!” the D.S.P. shouted with pain holding his knee andslumped down. Darkness. He hit something with his head whilefalling. His moan increased and his ability to beat decreased.
“You played tricks on us, you fellow. You have lost fearof our treatment. I will subject you to a greater torture, youbastard. Will I permit you to die happily? ‘Oh’!” he shriekedin great pain, gnashing his teeth.
It was nearing dawn. The three groups of policemenapproached the D.S.P. from different directions. The blacktopped road was shining at a distance. A lorry which had notswitched off its headlights went past that way.
“Arre! Is this not the Warangal-Siddipet road! These areRatnagiri hills on this side of Husnabad. We should havetravelled by jeep upto this point. You made us crawl on allfours for ten kilometers, you bloody bastard.”
The Superintendent of Police (S.P.) pulled up Babuholding his vest and repeatedly beat him.
“I don’t know. I don’t know this route. I showed you theroute by which I came.”
“You bastard. Your village is situated by the side of thishillock, don’t you know?” So saying the S.I. hit Babu in hisribs. The vest got torn in the S.I.’s hand as Babu turned andfell down again.
The jeeps and vans went round and took the black toppedroad. Babu was again thrown into the jeep.
Babu vaguely remembered that he was put in the lock-up after an hour. He was very drowsy. It was evening by thetime he got senses. He was hungry. He was able to see whitestripes. Perhaps it was a hospital. The Circle Inspector (C.I.),the D.S.P. and the police all had white bands on their cheeks,legs and heads.
He wanted to laugh but did not know why. His waistmade a cracking sound. He stretched his hand for water. Hisshoulder nerves felt heavy and jerked. There was pain all overthe body as he recovered sensation. He slipped into anunconscious state without drinking water.
• • • • • •
I came to know of his arrest that evening, that too throughhis elder sister who visited me. I do not know how she got thenews. She wept uncontrollably. My wife too shed tears. Hissister fell at my feet crying. In her view I was an acquaintancethat enjoyed high status.
My eyes too became moist hearing the accounts. My wifecried aloud. I didn’t know what to do. I came to know for thefirst time how helpless we were if the police swing into action.We knew that his parents were in Zammikunta Police station.
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They were arrested before everyone. Babu’s relations knewthat he was in the Huzurabad lock-up. Everyone knew that hewas arrested ten days ago but nothing could be done about it.The police were convinced that the acts, the constitution andthe human rights were not for them. The police also believedthat if the people knew about all these, they could do nothing.Who will beat their confidence?
I cannot put on paper the agony I underwent at thatmoment. It was an ordeal by fire for me. I then grasped whythe police kill people and why they permit them to be alive.Could I do anything having known all these things? I havethe reputation of having been in the Union. But the situationat present was different. I felt that all my friends who supportedmy theories were strangers at that moment. I did not get thisfeeling anytime before. How surprising!
I did not know what to do. I ran to my old friend ChanderRao who used to work in our team. I felt uneasy as neverbefore. He was an advocate who got many people arrested.He used to laugh with a vengeance as they shouted their lungsout rotting in lock-ups for many days.
But I am a human being. I respect humanism first beforeall other aspects. Theories and agitations come next. Should Ikill the humanism in me for the sake of my friends? Is it acrime to ask people to respect them as citizens and punishthem as per the acts of justice?
He laughed away my words. That laughter was an oldhabit. I have seen him laugh many times. But on that day anew meaning struck me regarding that laughter. I felt disgustedon seeing him laugh that day. I could not stay there any longer.
My wife cried helplessly. He was her brother. Was he not
my disciple also! Some feeling of courage, some braveryoverpowered me then as I assured myself with a sort of selfconfidence that I was doing a good deed. I started out with hissister prepared for whatever to happen. The policemen wereseen busily moving about with their bandages. Babu was notable to observe all this as he was in a different world. If wehad not gone to the police station at that time, no one knewwhat the police would have done to him. That thought nowmakes me experience goose pimples all over the body.
The atmosphere in the police station was weird. As weentered the station I felt my body tremble with a strangetremour. I wanted to shout at the pitch of my voice and askmany questions. But I could not open my mouth and uttereven a few words. I looked this way and that way searchingwith my eyes for Babu. He was lying motionless like a corpse,nay, worse than a corpse. His body had blackened and thelathi blows had turned into wounds and appeared like thestripes of a tiger. The wounds were bleeding and flies weresettling on the wounds that were drying up. The flies that settledon his lips got stuck in the congealed blood. The person whowas by his side was trying to awake Babu from his unconsciousstate. But there was no movement in his body.
His sister fell at the feet of the D.S.P. and the C.I. Shecried as though her heart would break. Her seven year oldson also started to cry with fear, observing his mother cry andhugged his mother. The police officers shook off the boy’smother with their feet. I do not understand even till today howI could bear that scene. The boy fell flat on his face at a littledistance. His mother took three turns and fell down like a henwhose neck was slashed off. Were my spirits dead? I tried toshout at the pitch of my voice. I hardly could hear my voice
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making a prayerful appeal.
The police officers kept silent. They did not tell where heand his parents were. They abused his sister, for being hissister, using unprintable words. They told all lies. They didnot allow either to see him or talk to him.
Later they retained him for ten more days with them. Theyfoisted false cases that he murdered someone and hadcommitted theft and sent him to the Karimnagar sub-jail.
The sub-jail was a little better than other jails. Perhapsafter a month, I applied leave and went to see him. There wasnot much of a rush that day to meet the prisoners. I could getthe interview soon. The atmosphere was a little pleasant.
By then his wounds were healing up. The stripes on hisbody were still there caused by the lathi blows. The signs oftortures were seen on the fingers and on the toenails of hisfeet. His cheek had a black spot now. He had thinned. Yet theface was bright. He had not recovered his health fully. I lookedinto his eyes with affection. What a surprise! There was not atrace of dejection in his eyes or face. How calm and clear theywere! There was a new sparkle in his eyes. He looked verysprigtly, full of spirits.
I wanted to apologize to him for having come so late tomeet him. But I could not express myself. I tried to saysomething but bent my head. He could understand everything,guess everything. He smiled imperceptibly.
For the first time, I felt then- that he had grown very tall,taller than me in spirit.
He was asking about my wife and our children. His voice,most surprisingly, was dignified like the voice of our Principal.Was it not to see and meet my student that I went there? I felt
I had met a friend! The teacher in me got faded and the disciplein him was born!
Those moments of change were strange moments. Theywere very sweet moments. How easily and smoothly thechange occurred! He looked into my eyes. He asked manyquestions with his eyes. I too looked into his eyes! There wasa flash as if electric wires touched each other. I was shocked.They were not ordinary looks. There were x-rays in them. Ilowered my eyes not being able to look any longer.
I know my weakness. All my friends looked at mesuspiciously as I went to the police station. As I approachedthe Andhra Pradesh Civil Laboratories Committee (A.P.C.L.C.)Japa Lakshma Reddy, the links got broken. They attacked melike a group of crows. I do not know why, I got terrified. Thatwas why I transferred the case to Japa Lakshma Reddy. I didnot poke my nose into the case again.
My wife did not know that the situation would becometopsy-turvy. The fear of the society made my wife surrenderher personal love. As a matter of fact I too could not understandthe situation. I could guess about some changes but did notimagine that they would go so far. It did not strike me. But aninternal assessment started in me. I could not sleep in thenights. The figures of Appu and Chirukanda started appearingbefore me. I used to feel their hand on my shoulder in a gestureof affection and love asking me with a smile to decide oneway or the other. I felt as though they were confronting mewith more and more affection, more sharply than ever.
I could not bear it any longer. It took such a long time toarrive at a decision. How can I tell him about all this? I had noheart to destroy the regard he had for my wife. I had no mindto belittle myself too. That was the reason why I could not
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speak out. Yet, he understood everything. He behaved in avery dignified manner without mentioning any of thoseproblems. I did not notice when my voice changed from thatof the old teacher to that of a friend. I never imagined that hiseyes could bombard me with questions of such a severe nature.Even today those same eyes, those same questions haunt mymemory.
I adjusted my throat and changed the topic. I enquiredwhere Seenu was. He smiled mischievously. It was clear thatSeenu was safe outside the police net. It was a wonder how afive-minute interview brought about so many changes in me.
• • • • • •
I did not go to the jail after that meeting. I was afraid thathis looks, the same looks and the same questions, would hauntme. They did not stop haunting me though I did not go again.He writes letters now and then. He was shifted fromKarimnagar to Warangal, from there to Rajahmundry and fromthere to Vishakapatnam. But he did not yield to them.
He is now in Rajahmundry jail. The letter I received threedays ago was from Rajahmundry. I did not give a reply to himat all. He would not have guessed how my situation gotchanged and to what extent during these three years becauseof him.
Seenu met me a year ago unexpectedly. I did notrecognise him in the beginning. It was he who started theconversation. I was surprised. I found the same flash in hiseyes also. The same questions. Suddenly I remembered Appu,Chirukanda and the teacher.
Later no one of them met me. But their looks still hauntme. The respect they extend to me pierce me painfully and
keep questioning me.
My family is now disintegrating. All my old friends treatme as an enemy. I have not done them any injustice. When Iremember my old friends who entertain dual values I feel verysad. Some of them tried to get me arrested and get mesuspended twice in recent times. With that I had to leave themas well as the teacher’s union. I realised how ridiculous theircontention was that our lives and the Union were two separateentities. As a result I had no other option than leaving theUnion. The Union that exists now has a strong heart and sothe gimmicks of people do not influence us.
In this manner, the foundations of my social life andfamily life got shaken. My wife who entrusted Babu to me gotchanged. She who had great liking for them now does notcare or bother about them. She does not read his letters. Iknow that her anger is not real and that it is a mother reactingwith love. But it takes some time for this change.
Now along with my wife, many old friends distancethemselves with me. Some scolded me. Some felt sorry forme. Some advised me not to destroy my life. Why, my wifewho loved Babu and Seenu so ardently thrashed my elder sonas she saw maroon paint on his pants. She detected that hehad indulged in wall writing.
I am not pained at my old friends distancing themselvesfrom me. Advocate Chander Rao. He extracted five hundredrupees form the parents of Babu. They too did not tell meabout this, perhaps it was Chander Rao who threatened themnot to reveal it to me. He could not manage to bring them outon bail even in one case. On the other hand, he tried to squeezemore and more money from them. If they had any thing leftto mortgage, they would have done so. He knocked off their
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money, subjected their people to torture and yet got off as agentleman. Among my old friends, people of this kind are ina large number. I did not decide to dishonour them. That isnot in my hands also. Now they are considered as importantpersons. For having tried to help Babu, I have become a stoogeof China and Russia in their view. How strange this is! Valuesthat have gone topsy turvy are being honoured in our society!Is there no truth in what Babu and Seenu say!?
• • • • • •
Yet another time……… yet another time.......
Once more, I read the letter for the tenth time. My mindgot perplexed. Sad news on one side, joy on the other and anoverall wonderment were getting mixed up and were all rollinginto one.
That letter was also from Rajahmundry. But it was notwritten by Babu. Someone not belonging to the jail wrote it. Itwas surprising. Also disturbing. I stayed away at home faircopying this story. I had not even eaten my breakfast. Mywife stopped talking to me three days ago. So it was okay. ButI was feeling hungry. Yet, I sat tight in order to complete thestory. In the meanwhile, the postman shouted ‘post’. The letterhe threw in fell at my feet. I read it eagerly. It was writtenabout Babu.
It appears a strike was organized in the jail that theprisoners should be provided with minimum comforts, thatthe manual should be implemented, that the prisoners shouldbe taken to the courts for adjornments, that the undertrailsshould be treated as citizens. Babu was on hunger strike forten days along with two others. The wardens and guards madelathi charges. Babu and another prisoner fell unconscious and
were taken to the hospital. They were kept in the I.C.U.
I suspected some evil foreboding. I had heard that if aperson who was subjected to torture develops pain in thewounds, it was not possible to live. In the place of Babu, Iwas seeing vaguely my elder son’s figure. My legs startedtrembling. Also my pen, I do not know why. All round me Ifound restrictions growing. How pitiful it is when there is noone with whom you could share joy or sorrow! The one personavailable at home went on a silent strike!
I neared my wife who was angry with me. I spoke to herwith a tremor in my voice. She looked at me as if asking ‘what?’I cajoled her. Begged her. Finally I could read the letter aloudfor her.
She pulled away the letter from me. She too read it. Shestarted to cry. Why this double standard? There was a gameplayed between life and ideals, between ideals and love. Butit was clear that he could give a ‘treatment’ with death also.He should be made to live. He kept up his individuality evenin adverse circumstances.
It was not a simple thing to keep correcting small mistakesand grow to great heights in one’s individuality. It is hisindividuality that makes his friends to admire him and hisenemies to be afraid of him. His life shaped him.
Something was happening. Something that I do not know.He should live. I must take his parents and go to Rajahmundryimmediately. The questions in his looks should be answered.My wife was proding me to start immediately. She called oureldest son and said to him, “You are going out though you areasked not to go. Why don’t you paste those posters today?”
Today I feel proud as if I have conquered the world. I did
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not know till today that conquering the world meant conqueringoneself. I walked out of the house in great haste and took theroad to the bus station.
Now I have no fear. Now I can answer his questions whichhave been haunting me these three years. I can look straightinto his eyes now. Their questions do not frighten me hereafter.
If something untoward happens, I will continue theirjourney. I will grow into the teacher they wanted me to become.No. No. I too will walk with them, keeping company.
Ambition as high as a mountain. Fear as deep as a valley.He will live. Do you ask why I say so! Are not Chirukandaduand Appu immortal?
SAMEEKSHA MONTHLY.1986.
16
WAR AND PEACEDAKSHA YAGNAM* IN TELANGANA
“Sir, I am Pentaiah. Yes, alias Praveen, sir.
“My life is smoke filled. There is no fire in this life now.This body will not be converted into ashes. The hut of my lifehas completely been smoke filled. The cow-dung cakes usedfor cooking food have filled the house with smoke. Look atmy hands, sir. Look at the holes, sir. For a little light as smallas a glow, my entire house has been filled with smoke. Mybody is not fit for the cremation ground. It is not fit to live inthe house. I have lost all desire and hope on this, my life! sir.What has been left in this body, in this life, sir! …
“You felt pity for me to-day but by the time you couldfeel pity for me, my heart went dry. My land also went dry.My life itself became dry. My pain has also got dried up. Evenif I cry, there are no tears in my eyes. I have no language tospeak. You got pity on me now, sir.
“You ask me now to tell you what happened. The mistake
* Daksha had celebrated the marriage of one of his daughters with Lord Shiva.Once Lord Brahma was performing a yagna, a long process involving a religiossacrifice. Daksha went to witness it. Lord Shiva was present there but did not carefor Daksha which hurt Daksha. Later Daksha himself performed a yagna. In thisstory the author hints that the people of Telangana have themselves to act toachieve their goal.
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is not yours, sir. The mistake was mine. It was a mistake onmy part to get caught into your hands. It is a mistake for me tobe in a situation to answer you and a mistake for you to be ina position to ask me questions. My heart craved for justiceand invited problems and difficulties. That was the mistake. Ifell athinking and got disgusted with life. I wanted to die butcould not and fell into your hands. That was the mistake. Icould not tell the truth and invited trouble. There was no mistakeon your part, sir.
The mistake is not yours. You have many things to do
once you wake up in the morning. You have many holidays.You could find time now to listen to my problems. I am not an
actor to cry when you want me to cry, sir. Even before youwanted to hear me, feeling pity for me, my cry got dried up,
sir.
You could find time to hear my case exactly after two
years and three months. In the meanwhile my father wonderedwhat this life was and cried. He cried and cried and died. He
died even before you could release me on bail. The dead bodyof my father got putrified remaining in our house for two days
waiting for the cremation and then you passed orders for mybail.
On that day you sent me to the jail without looking at myface. Do you remember that, sir? You did not ask me that day
whether I had anything to say. If you had asked me on thatday, your dictation papers would have faced the fate a stone
gets when thrown into muddy slush. At that time my heartwas muddy and slushy and if any one wanted to touch it, it
would have splashed mud on them. You know what pain is.You know what life is. If you had not known what the pain of
your life was, without asking me then, why do you ask me
now, sir?
You know everything sir. Knowing everything you wantme to make me talk and reveal everything. You want to hearabout my life through my words. You want my life to be narratedagain. I cannot create stories. It was true that I wanted to die.If you want me to tell you the reasons, when a man’s heart hasdried up, if not philosophically, how else one can narrate itwith pain and suffering, sir?
The reason is, as time passes the necessities are lost andexperiences alone remain, sir. The details of the experiencesdisappear but continue as attitudes. It cannot be known nowwhether those symbols are the correct visions of life. If wewant to know them, we may have to go into the details. Wemay have to convert the thoughts and attitudes into experiencesagain. It will be like creating again the culture of the ancienttimes for the sake of making a historical film. It is a difficultproposition, sir.
If you don’t mind, I want to ask you a question. You gotme taken to your house on that day at half past eight in thenight. We were made to stand outside as you were eating yoursupper. You came out wiping your mouth with a napkin andsat in a sofa. The policeman who took me to you gave yousome papers. I do not know whether you read them throughor not but you signed them. You saw me from a distance.Then you went in. That night the police took me away andput me in the same lock-up.
That day when I was presented before you, it was halfpast eight in the night on twenty third September. There was acold wind blowing. There was no power. It was raining. Thatnight what curry did you eat sir? How many morsels of fooddid you eat sir? How many steps did you take from the dining
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table to see me, sir? Did you move the right foot or the leftfoot first before you walked towards me? At what time in thenight did the servant-maid leave your house? At what timedid your dog with white fur go to sleep? That night there wascold bleeze blowing and it was raining. There was no powersupply. When the ceiling fan stopped whirling how manymosquitoes bit you sir?
You may be able to calculate these and tell me but I cannotnarrate the problems and difficulties I suffered; sir. I can tellyou for how many days I breathed in the smell of urine in thelock up. I can tell you what kind of food was served to me inthe lock-up. I can tell you why cases were levelled and on howmany people. But I cannot tell you why I wanted to die. Whenthere are umpteen reasons to die every day, which reason andwhich day can be remembered, sir?
If you want to tell me in one word, I can tell you, sir. Mypoverty is the reason for my death. It is said that Lord Brahmawas tempted to eat a lamb when he saw it. ‘Everyone wants tocut me into pieces and eat me thought the lamb’. It appearsthe lamb requested Lord Brahma to find a way for it to live.Lord Brahma smiled and said to the lamb that on seeing it andobserving its mildness, he himself was tempted to eat it. Ourlives are like the life of the lambs. It is not only to the tiger butalso for fellow men, when they see us, they feel like cuttingus into pieces and eat us.
It would be good if we are cut down and eaten awayfully. Just as the nerve is cut and left like that… they drain allour blood out… till all our desires are completely lost. Ourlives are cut a little and we are left in that condition, sir. Youthought you were sending me to the jail to give me life. Itlooks as though the law has been made that we should not die
so that, we can live. But do you know sir, that your mercifuland generous heart is killing us keeping us alive?
Why do you think that I was taken to your house in thenight after eight keeping me in the lock-up for seven days?Why did they not take me next day to the court? If I had beentaken to the court, they were afraid that I would revealeverything in my agony. They subjected me to hellish torturefor seven days in the lock-up. They beat me again saying thatI should not reveal to you that I wanted to die because of thetortures of the police. My people could not bear the torture ofthe police and paid them three thousand rupees by borrowingthe money. Okay, forget all that sir. I will tell the actual storybriefly….
• • • • • •“We are four children for our parents. My elder sister’s
marriage was celebrated when she was very young. Whenmy younger sister Malachi was three years old mother passedaway. Father re-married after some time. My step-mother fellin love with Ananda Rao who was younger than her. She leftthe house after two years complaining that she cannot managea household with so many persons. Ananda Rao lived withher till he married another woman. Later she had to live byherself.
“……. Father brought my elder sister and brother-in-lawto stay with us… But they too left as the arrangement did notwork well…. We learnt later that Ananda Rao had an eye onsister. Father felt that there should be womanly help in thehouse. So I got married at a very young age.
“…. I was a father of three children by the time I wastwenty five. My wife Narasavva was only twenty when shewas mother of three children. The entire burden of looking
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after the house fell on Narsavva from her twelfth year itself.At twenty she looked forty… My younger brother stoppedstudies with fifth class. The marriageable age for girls startedto change my younger sister Malachi’s marriage wasperformed.
“….. Ananda Rao did not spare Narsavva also. He had abeautiful wife. I wonder why he liked my wife who lookedskin and bones like a dried fish. More surprising is the factthat Ananda Rao’s wife liked me when she had a six foothandsome husband. Any illicit connection with a man or awoman of a higher status gives a lot of self-confidence. Ithink….
“….. It is said good people die early, sir. Prabhakar was agood man. He died young. He made us know what the worldwas and left us. He was hardly thirty when he died. He usedto call everyone in the house by their names. Though he hadstudied only upto I.I.T., he had the confidence as if he hadread the whole world – with his smile….
“…. When I look at him I feel as though I get rid of allmy difficulties. I used to get the spirit that I should live a goodlife even by fighting it out… There was a power in his smile…..in his words… In that manner I was introduced to politics….I do not remember the details… meetings …. processions…songs… saluting flags….
“…. The situation changed within a short time later.Prabhakar disappeared. Meeting him became somethingwonderful and rare. I tried to find him out. How is it possibleto filter a huge tank…..?
“…. Sir, if those people could not be caught, these peopledo not lose anything. But ‘law’ began to feel impatient that its
authority was being lost… The impatience turned into sadism.Cruelty opened its hoods. Beastiless ruled the roost…. Hecould not be caught… They developed hatred and suspectedthat some were trying to keep him away from law. As theTelugu proverb goes the anger of the daughter-in-law on hermother-in-law resulted in the pot being smashed….”
“….. In that manner many from their homes to the lock-up… from the lock-up to the courts…from the court to thejail… lessons in the jail… from the jail on bail back home…from the house to the court for the hearing of the case… caseafter case… from one adjournment to another… and therewill be nothing in the records of the change that takes place inour lives… If the details of those who are involved in each ofthe cases are written down, enquiry commissions establishedand the way how the laws and acts have been implementedand the defects studied and rectified then and there, therewouldn’t be so many problems, sir. I’ll ask you one question.Please don’t feel upset. Though we come again and again, thecase is adjourned. What is it you lose if we don’t come herefour times? What great pity you have for me sir! Though Icame many times, you adjourned the case knowingly, yet whenI could not come, you cancelled the bail and sent me to jailagain. You are a higher authority than our boss. Your signatureis all powerful. The boss would scold if I am late and thenforget. But you send us to jail speaking gently. The laws arelike gold in your hands. They obey your orders as passed byyou, sir.”
“….. I left home not being able to put up with thesedifficulties… By the time I went into the forest I had threechildren. My Lachi was growing like a jowhar plant. Brotherlearnt repairing electric motors and was earning a little…. I
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was asked to stand for the post of a sarpanch. I too had such athought… I believed that I could regain my honour which Ihad lost because I was born in a low caste… but the difficultiesyou created and the tortures you subjected me to suffer mademe feel that the forest was better than the house. After I lefthome….. how many experiences! How many places I visited!How much of love! If I had contested the elections with allthat experience behind me, I would have been elected as theM.L.A…. Prabhakar would have been elected a member ofthe Parliament, sir.
“….. Honourable judge sir! We thought they were thepolitics of the ruling party… we did not know then that theruling party will get the authority to make the laws and gainlawfulness through these elections. We did not know aboutthis till Kanshiram revealed that Ambedkar had said this.Because of this ignorance, Prabakhar who made the Parliamentshiver, had to die in an encounter. The authority and theelections which we rejected made us undergo detentions andpunishments … the seeds were sown there for us to get defeatedin life… now if a leaf falls from a branch …. We are terrified.That fear made worthy people unworthy. We were afraid ofthe restrictions created by ourselves for us. Now… after allthat… even if a leaf falls from the branch … we are terrified.We are afraid to talk freely. We are afraid to believe and trustthe people, trust close friends… there is a watch on all things…doubt… tension… ulsers… anger… impatience.. wronginformation because of secrecy.. everything chaotic….. all thishappened in a systematic manner… Those who framed thissystem are now spending their lives happily with their wivesand children and grandchildren after they lost their places inthe party… They dared not speak of revolution again! I amone of those who believed such people, was in the forefront
and broke my teeth in the process. sir.”
• • • • • •
“…. You have no idea of that experience. You do notknow anything about the happiness and excitement that ispart of it. The happiness one derives and the self-confidenceone feels sitting under the trees in the forest and discussinghow we can change the world is beyond your imagination…in the villages… in hamlets… in the huts in the light of the oillamp… when they gain confidence in their lives listening toour words…. when their faces brighten in their bodies, thinand dry as mats…. any person who has humanity in him feelslike sacrificing his life for them… I used to feel a little jealouswhen my wife Narsavva, who was with child, sported a happysmile on her face as if she were carrying the whole world inher belly. The very thought that we were carrying this world andchanging this world gave us a lot of self-confidence… thehappiness we derived from their revolution made us put upwith any number of difficulties.
“…… Saravva belonged to Nukapalli. What a sweet voiceshe had! How hard I worked to bring her into the party!... shehesitated for a long time. But once she joined us, she grew upvery fast. Because of her I felt like marrying again. I startedloving her… when you have a wife at home, do you wantanother wife? Some people asked derisively… in the partyalso a mental lonliness was experienced because of one’s in-ability to express one’s feeling to others.. if there is no humancompanion to whom one can reveal one’s mind such a life isworse than hellish life… in such a condition man craves forthe company of another human being, sir!.....”
“… But I could not win Saravva’s love. She loved thedistrict secretary Sudhakar. She married him… I was crest
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fallen… I could not recover from the set-back… She did notlove the man. She loved his position and status in his life….One year later I expressed the same feeling to Saravva… shesmiled… she cornered me with her questions….. in whatrespect is he inferior to you? … was it in education.. inhandsomeness… in commitment.. in sacrifice? It was true hewas more cultured than me… he was well educated… hiseducation fills his face with an enlightenment which cannotbe explained, he has self-confidence… he has the language athis command… he can express what he wants to convey….”
“….. he was the son of a teacher. I am the son of a ryotcoolie… I do not know anything about that happiness andculture… I thought of winning her love by providing her needswithout asking her… in a way I succeeded also... but she toldme she would treat me as her own brother…. as a matter offact she treated me as a sister would treat a brother, till theend…. how many times I fell ill with malaria in the forest!….she attended on me calling me “annaiah”, providing me withwhatever I wanted…. when I was down with diarrhea havingdrunk water at everyplace, how sad did Saravva feel for me….Venkanna the sentry had to sacrifice his life to save me whenI slept in the shadow of a tree…. There were many difficultiesthere but in those difficulties there was happiness …. in thathappiness there was a perspective … that happiness was apart of our attitude.
“….. my perspective was connected with the lives of ourpeople .... the intellectuals and writers were leading happylives in cities and in the coastal area talking of revolution .....in the villages too our people should lead free and good livestaking part in the revolution …. peacefully … with anunderstanding … and change their tactics with strategies and
plans … my caste … my birth … my childhood … and myexperiences made me think like that … why I felt like that canbe understood only if we go into the past history, sir….”
“you would have known …. In the times before historymade its presence … the girijan tribes gave up migrating andsettled down permanently at some place … when they learntcultivation and agriculture they had to live at a place … it isall an old story that they felled forests for the sake of agricultureand that professions developed depending on agriculture…
“…. those who were excommunicated from old villagesand those who lost sustenance went to the forests andestablished small hamlets and felled the new forest andcultivated land. The girijans who migrated in this manner, themalas, the madigas and the yanadis established new villages… they constructed tanks and water holes … as time progressedthose who lost their livelihood in the old villages, the youngprofessionals of handicrafts reached the new villages … vaisyasfor the sake of business and Patwaris as account clerks andJegirdars … the Brahmins for these people …. And in courseof time the village became theirs … in the name of taxes, formortgage and loans, the fields went into their hands … sofrom there some girijans – the malas, the madigas and yanadisused to migrate to other forests in order to cultivate ….
“…. perhaps about a hundred and fifty or hundred yearsago, because of the famine elsewhere, some people came toKarimnagar … those famines might have occurred before SirArthur Cotton* built the project …. my great grandfather usedto tell me … those who came had hardly a loin cloth aroundtheir waist and very little things …. Thus the migration tookplace following their relatives….”
* An English engineer who constructed dams and projects in India.
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“…. in those days an acre of good land was available forfifty rupees … in my grandfather’s time the price was betweena hundred and fifty to three hundred rupees an acre …. thosewho came from elsewhere grew rich at the expence of theinnocence of the locals … in course of time some of themgrew into ‘doras’ or chiefs. They won Nizam’s grace andbecame jagirdars collecting taxes for the Nizam … AnandaRao was the eighth in succession among these jagiradars ….by the time his father Ram Rao dora took charge, fourgenerations of our family had been plundered.
“…… as time passed …. by the time our generation started… a small area was available … my grandfather gave up fortyacres which had been cultivated as he could not pay taxesduring the famine that raged eighty years ago …. The ‘doras’and patwaris together knocked off such lands getting themtransferred on their names … and became masters of hundredsand thousands of acres of land ….”
“ …. when Prabhakar came and suggested that a meetingshould be held, I too felt happy like others …. they came firstinto the village and sang songs playing the drum … they spokesome words …. increasing wages for coolies and farm hands…. banning bonded labour … returning the amounts and landstaken by force … till then non-cooperation … and socialboycott … we celebrated the victory march consisting of thepeople belonging to three hundred villages at Jagityala … withthat Ram Rao ran away to the city … but got a police picketestablished in the town ….
“….. when Ram Rao came to collect taxes we surroundedhim and arranged a Panchayati … he stooped low and heldour feet … he promised to get the police camp removed …and committed on paper that he would pay back the amount
of thirty five thousand rupees which we had to spend on goinground the courts for the false cases which he had foisted on us…..”
“ …… he heard everything and finally left the villagepermanently … the education of his sons and children was inthe city … he earned a lot in the business of buying and sellinghouse plots … he later started a courier service also … TukkaRao dora became a distributor in some agency in my mother-in-law's place ….”
“ …. we imagined that with the departure of doras all ourdifficulties would disappear …. we thought we were the rulers… we thought that the lands snatched away from us could becultivated by us again …. we were sure we could live freely… the grama panchayati … the panchayati smaithi …. C.C.Bank … Assemblies … all are ours … we thought we will bepresent in all these institutions … if only we knew that thingswould happen in their present manner, we would not haveacted like that …. perhaps … our plan was to overcome theproblems of the day … Prabhakar said that we should fix flagsin his land after Ram Rao left …. I stayed on with the fear thatthey may fix the flags in our land ….
“ … I was kicked along with all others … we were jailed… I got angry for receiving kicks and blows for no fault ofmine … yes … from then on after coming out on bail … Imoved freely with ‘annas’ … it was true …. Narsavva fed usall night and day … that was also true … myself, my sisterand children … we all handed them letters …. it was also truethat we caught hold of doras in four villages and broke theirarms and legs … it was also true that one of them died in thehospital … after Reddy was encountered, it was also true wewent round villages in a group … it was also true that we re-
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established the association … it was also true we moved aboutwith guns … also true that we became Naxalistes …. it wasalso true that Prabhakar was behind all these activities …. itwas also true when Prabhakar went up in his grade, his vacancywas also filled…”
“ … yes …. it is also true that the doras and the policetrembled on hearing my name Gurrala Pentaiah alias Praveen…. it is also true that we collected lakhs of rupees as partyfunds from toddy contractors while getting toddy prohibited… it is also true we got many things got done with their help… it is also true that they pretended fear before us and latergave information about us to the police … it is also true werobbed the houses of doras in the name of money auction …also true that we could stand in that manner for nearly fiveyears ….”
“ … but the police grazed the cattle in our backyards ...they tortured Narsavva asking her whether her husband wasfrequently visiting the village … my brother Lachchiraju ranaway to Arab countries not being able to put up with thetorture and lock-up restrictions … they demolished my house… my sister who was to be married, Malachi, my father andmy sister-in-law were tied to stakes and they were raped bythe S.I. and five others before my father … my father got bed-ridden … my sister suffered bleeding … the life of my familyand my children … suffered hellish torture ….”
• • • • • •
I did not know then … But now it turns my stomach, sir.For having given us some food, after we left, the police usedto come and subject our women to dishonour. Men can runaway to escape the police. How and where will women,children, old people and the cattle go, sir? How much cruelty
is there in our love of revolution, sir? For having believed thatsome good was being done and encouraged them… how cruelit is sir, that those who do not know what principles are, whatthe strategies of revolution are should become targets fortorture? Did we plan the revolution strategy by asking theirhelp? As the elderly ‘annas’ said something, we believed it astrue … the people also believed them. The children werebeaten black and blue because of us. Their lands became aridlands. We made the lands of doras arid. Thousands of acres ofland was made arid. Agricultural labourers left the villages insearch of livelihood. You know that we suffer because we haddone evil deeds in our previous births. Because we are bornpoor, you think we have no character and that we should notentertain ambition and desires. If you do not know, ask theBhagavad Gita which you use to extract a promise from theaccused. Or ask the constitution and the police. If they don’ttell you, ask my wife, sir. If my wife does not tell you, mysister will tell you sir … where she was pinched, by whom,what they did. There is no place on her body for further torture.It was not blood that flowed down but it was the tears of joyof her torturers. When I was in the jail also she was not spared,sir.
… I cannot bear these tortures … I cannot run this family… how long can we live holding our lives in our hands withfear, day in and day out, how to live dying every minute …take me also away into the party … appealed Narsavva manytimes … she put her proposal before Prabhakar finding outhis whereabouts … we women are not cowards ... but what isall this trouble about the family? … let it go anywhere …coming to know of this problem, for the first time in his lifePrabhakar wilted. If Prabhakar himself did not know what totell Narsavva, and console her, what is possible for me?
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We wanted to put our children in government hostels indifferent districts … we also thought of giving them away onadoption … we tried to take sister Malachi into the party …but she said she would not come away leaving father whowas bed-ridden … the children cried their hearts out to livewithout their mother … moreover our children are all dark incomplexion … who will take care of them … if they wereborn with a fair complexion and in a good house, theseproblems can be solved easily … there is not so much ofrestriction on children of that sort … who will take into theirfold the children of madigas, and old people … though theyoung men are in the party? … then there is the fear of theproblems and restrictions one has to face for having protectedthem … when we two were there, there was nothing possible… how is it possible for a single person … please tell me, sir… Is not your wife living on your salary, sir … don’t youknow that if we are thrown into the lock-up, the police wouldbeat us … don’t you know that they extract money from us …don’t you know that the police threaten saying that if youdon’t keep quiet we will kill your husband in an encounterand then seek pleasure from her as a routine … don’t youknow that they keep the husband on the pial as guard andinside the house what they do with the women, drinkingtoddy!?
Will there be a heart that will not suffer agony when thehouse and the family is being demolished? … If there is onesuch heart … it is no heart at all … I do not know which waymy journey takes which was begun for the welfare of myfamily and children. There are no families that benefited fromsuch sacrifices as these … everyone is getting bogged downin horrible difficulties with every day restrictions … when wesought a little comfort and happiness why did we suffer
difficulties as large as a mountain .. my mind is confused anddisillusioned … there has been no satisfaction that some workwas being done.
“… how long can we manage to move about withoutbeing caught … our whereabouts and our ways have beenknown by the police … a revolution is a perennial flow thathas no end or a shore. One has to swim constantly andcontinuously. Revolution has no shores on either side onehas to get carried away by it … it was felt that it was nothuman to leave the family. I decided that such a life for alltime was not for me. I wanted to live my life … there wasnone to console me … Prabhakar having been encounteredand others known to me having got transferred to other parts… the saying that those who stay on will stay on and thosewho go will go away hurt me like spears.....I could not digestsuch a mechanical understanding of life, such hard-heartedness … in that state of mind I loved Saravva … thoughshe rejected my love she shared my agony till the end as asister …
“… some naxalites who came out of the party were givenjeeps. Some opened shops. Some became contractors. Iestablished a hotel in a busy centre and I had good business… but the police visited me everyday … ate … when asked topay they were implicating me in new cases … if any bandhwas announced, I was taken away and put in the lock-up …to whom should I complain? … who was there to support me… if a person was good and nice he was called a bourgeois Icalled caste elders by names that they suffered from the itchcalled caste itch .... … those who were in politics. I said theirswas ruling party politics … I said they should be beaten withchappals if they came seeking votes …. I organized meetings
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exhorting people not to vote for them … in this manner Ibecame an enemy to everyone … I had no good word to sayabout anyone … why will they help me, sir?
“…. When I came out many of them faced a new problem.They were afraid that I would stand as an opponent and rivalin politics, their status and prestige, they wished that I shouldbe killed in an encounter, they were surprised why I was nottaken away and killed … more than the police these peoplewanted me to be sent into lock-up with the fear that I mayreveal all their secrets … how do such people help me, sir….”
“… the police were taking me away again and again …how can the hotel run … I closed the hotel, took some loanand bought an auto. They came in the nights, took me awayin the auto saying they had some work and pressed me toreveal the whereabouts of ‘annas’ …. of the eighteen casesfoisted on me eleven were struck off … some friends whowere in the party saw to it that there was no evidence … so thepolice think that I have still some connections with ‘annalu’.”
• • • • • •
…. here …. varieties of difficulties … when we killedtheir father, there were some who witnessed it … why do theyshow pity on me though they know that I left the party …they concocted strong evidence against me … the party cameto my rescue and threatened them … so they planned to killme in an accident …
“… sir, if I had not got into this bog, I would have becomea sarpanch long ago. I would have easily defeated the dora.When the whole village was enthusiastic about me, I gave upall posts and contests … it resulted in the good-for- nothingPurushotham Reddy becoming the sarpanch. Now he has
become all powerful and I have to hold the feet of that coward…
“ …. Nalemuchu Raji Reddy who was my sub-ordinatebecame a surpanch then … now he became the mandalpresident … as soon as Raji Reddy surrendered his brothers-in-law rushed to him just as people rush to the plane and garlanda chief minister … and invited him to join their party … somegrew up like that after they surrendered … now the Collectorand the S.P. also show respect and honour to Raji Reddy …his caste also helped him to come up … my caste helped meto be suppressed.
If a man belongs to high caste, even if he is caught, hewill be sent to jail … if the caste is low, even if the personoffers to surrender they kill him in an encounter making himbelieve that he would be let free … if a naxalite belongs to ahigh caste, as soon as he surrenders, though he is a non-entity,he is made an important naxalite … though they changed theirlives, they did not change their castes … they changed parties,their power did not change … Raji Reddy who has a poultryfarm with five thousand birds is now a mandal president …Rameswara Reddy who rejected naxalism and opened achicken centre became a minister twice … my life has turnedinto this mess … those naxalites who have relatives and friendsin the ruling party are leading happy lives as naxals … thoughthey are caught by the police they talk like doras … they speakin a good language … they can make people call themintellectuals in all admiration … we do not have such a language… we have no propositions and theories … if only I hadcommand over the language I would have said I got separatedfrom them and would have started a new party …
“… those who worked with me left to the four corners …
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Venugopala Sastry is a sub-editor of a daily … ViswarupaRao is a now a contractor … Tirupathi Reddy who is thebrother-in-law of a MLA did M.Sc and became the Principalof a private college … in this manner their lives got shaped ontheir castes … they were victors in life even after surrendering… their salaries got fixed … what did I get … my life hasbecome the dinner leaf torn by dogs ….”
“ …. not that I do not have noted personalities .. there isAchyuta Sarma Rao who was born in our grandmother’svillage … he has a name in the revolution … he lives in thecity having purchased an apartment for four lakh rupees ….No one else knows better how to save his skin … he strives toearn a name … he cares for those who have a name … hearranges a meeting … for people like me and he just brushesus aside. If the police knock at the door they raise a hue andcry and take the matter to the chief minister and the Governor... they have relatives in all parties … if arrested they get thearrested person released immediately …”
“… if we die they start writing poetry … people like mefeel that we get a great name if a poem is written on me andget into the party .. in olden days kings used to fight battlesand made ministers sing the heroic deeds and attracted youngmen into the army … the heroic songs rendered on the battlesof Palnad and Bobbili were used only for this purpose … whatthey want is that we should join their army … or else who willcare for us if we are alive … will the citizens’ rightsorganizations or the revolutionary writers care for us if we arealive …
“… when I was jailed no one went to my house to consolemy people. They will urinate at the mention of uneducatednaxals like me … if we meet them on the road they ask us not
to talk to them ... if we go to their houses they ask why we metthem … if I go to their houses they feel and say that restrictionson them would be imposed … they do not meet me or talk tome … but they say their mind is only on revolution … thoughthey talk of revolution, their lives should be happy ones …their jobs … their four figure salaries … the education of theirchildren … their comforts … their honour … should all besafe … that is also what I too desire … that in our village alsothe lives of our people should run smoothly … they call thisdesire unprincipled … those who said so are pursuing theirjobs and profession as soon as they lost their places in theparty … but they do not care for the people even as a leaderof the ruling party or a member of the citizens’ rights forumcare for the people … they behave as very important peopleas long as they enjoy leadership in the party … as the sayinggoes .. if it is not your bottom, creep along till you reach Kasi… this saying applies to them … if the tortures, blows andsacrifices are not his or his families’ that is enough … theyapprove all strategies and plans saying they are correct …give me your food today, I will give you a medicine to mitigateyour hunger, they say … they make good all the developmentsfor themselves today and promise to you the developments ofthe future … to achieve this they want revolution … they gethighly educated and do their jobs and follow their professions,they send their children to English medium schools away fromrevolutions, enjoy life with their wives … and say that a fellowlike me who has worked for five or six years in the party haslost all his principles, the jaw bones of such asses should bebroken … they will know what it is, those who criticise withoutdoing sacrifices, when their wives and daughters are raped …
“ … they build houses and lead happy lives with theirwives and children … they need good jobs, name and fame.
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Our deaths and our arrests should be the causes for their glory… when did they think of us that we should lead lives likethem? I got spoiled listening to their lectures and songs andtheir writings … Sureedu in hiding, Kondapalli Seetharamaiah… P.V. Rao … Mukku Subba Reddy, Chenchaiah, Kalyan Rao… all these and Revu Ganpathi … Adi Reddy … also … it islike listening to the words of the teacher, the results being –he in the temple and I outside in the cold … their daughters,sisters and sisters-in-law get married without dowries … butwhat about us … they are all like elephants … dead or alivethe elephant costs ten thousand rupees … if they work in theparty, or if they come out … if they die in an encounter theylose nothing … they get a great name in the country … theentire country comes to the rescue and help their wives andchildren, sir”
“A person built a house on his grand daughter’s namespending twenty lakh rupees. I too want to lead a very commonand normal life like Sureedu, Mukku Subba Reddy and evenKondapalli Seetharamaiah … a man who lived a revolutionarylife for forty years and was responsible for the deaths ofthousands of people has a right to lead a normal life … buthaving spent four years in it without proper knowledge andreturn home, why don’t we have the same right to lead a normallife?
“ …. I joined the revolution and got defeated in life …when I joined the revolution to win back my life … therevolution gave me the life that faces defeat, sir …”
• • • • • •
“ … each person has his own reasons for the restrictionsincreasing … the party is afraid that the recruitment stops ifthere is no restriction .. there is hardly ten percent recruitment
from the areas where there is no restriction on groups andcastes .. on one side – where is the possibility of swallowinglakhs and crores without audit if the demon of naxals is notshown? … if there are no encounters how will they makesquare old scores? … how else will they get promotions? Howcan they rob or rape if they had no provisions for restrictions?… if the naxal problem is not there how can the governmentdivert the attention of the people from their corruption andineffective administration? ….”
“ … On this side …. Not even one has become a wholetimer from the lakhs that moved from the coastal districts … ifthey had no problems why did they attend the meetings? …they do have problems … also opportunities to live well ….So workers could not come up as caders during these twentyyears … they came only as leaders … and each leader wantedthe revolution to run according to his wishes and no onebothered about the people, sir …
“ … the ruling party helped us in many ways to preventus from contesting elections for fear they would get defeated… it is not known to how many gods they prayed … the godsalone should know .. if anyone questions the social inequalitiesloudly, if they should be punished, how is it possible to putthem down saying they are connected with naxals if there areno restrictions on naxals? … in this manner there are reasonsand reasons for people to desire for restrictions …
“Five lakh people attended Kanshi Ram’s meeting. Sixmonths later the candidates could not poll even five thousandvotes … should there be a restrictions on the naxals when tenlakh people attended their meeting, sir? … if they are given achance for five years it will get settled in its proper place ..you are converting innocent people into naxals by promoting
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and encouraging them, sir .. if there is freedom all parties willbe questioned … so every party has its reasons fearingopposition from within …
“ … having entered into the fray of the cows, we calvesgot our legs broken … what did we gain .. I went round placesand borrowed money for my sister Lachi’s marriage. No onecame forward to marry my sister without dowry though I wasin the revolution ... I asked some young students .. there is agirl ….. her brother is a revolutionary ….. she has to be married… she has a little limp ….. she is dark ….. she was raped bythe police …. this I did not reveal, of course ….. I did notmention her caste also ….. I told them that she was beautiful….. also that she had a good idea about the revolution ..........will any of you marry her, I asked .......... their ideas arerestricted to meetings only .......... they have no desire to shapetheir lives in accordance with their ideas .......... they wantgirls who are well educated and those in jobs as their wives.......... they both talk of revolution continuing in their jobs.......... but they do not want to marry the wives, daughtersand sisters of those who sacrificed their lives for the revolution.......... how is it possible for our people to study wheneconomic problems have also to be faced along withrestrictions imposed on a fellow like me for joining therevolution .......... though educated how is it possible to securea job? .......... those jobs and the education have been takenaway by others .......... they are leading happy lives withoutany connections with the revolution ..........
“.......... when a young man came forward to marry mysister though he knew she was raped, I felt happy. He had noparents. I thought that human quality was still alive .......... butthen he opened a shop with the dowry amount and when he
earned well and became respectable, he tried to get rid of ourLachi .......... he enquired about the rape by the police bypointedly asking her again and again and started torturing her.......... she jumped into a well, not being able to bear thesuffering .......... she survived but became lame .......... he thenleft her .......... she surrendered herself to appease her hunger.......... I could do nothing but cry after learning about hercondition because I could not think of performing her marriageagain .......... the man whom she believed deceived her ..........now she is called a prostitute .......... though we could organizelakhs of students into a group we could not change their culture.......... if atleast one of them had married my sister, her lifewould have been of a different kind .......... the young men ofour caste were afraid to marry my sister who was part of therevolution, feeding everyone and obeying whatever she wasasked to do .......... they were also afraid that if they married agirl who was so intelligent, she would not obey them an alsothe restrictions we bear may have to be shared by them too.......... all these negative points coming together my sister’slife suffered finally.
• • • • • •
“.......... If I look back what is it I have achieved, sir ..........Narsavva went away to her mother not being able to bear therestrictions .......... my Lachi ran away to her relatives ..........for want of medicines and care my father passed away ..........the money sent by my brother from the Arab countries for thevisa was not sufficient to clear the debts .......... though mybrother had nothing to do with the revolution, as soon as hereturned from the Arab countries, he was thrown into the lock-up, tortured and they knocked off half the money he had earned.......... because of me, my single self, my people and many
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families were destroyed .......... what is that we gained, myself,the people of my caste, as a result of the revolution? ..........
“.......... my children stopped obeying me .......... they tookto their own ways of living .......... Ram Rao dora died of heartattack .......... his people accused me saying that I appeared tohim in a dream and as a result he died of heart failure. AnandaRao’s brothers moved about with the same associations whenthey were studying –thus they knew all important ‘annas’ ..........they won the sympathy of the powers with the plea whetherthey should suffer now for the sins of their forefathers as doras.......... they asked why they should not sell their lands, not fortheir benefit but for the education and marriages of theirchildren .......... the party fund reached the party through themiddlemen .......... some land was appropriated to the sangamas a gift .......... and they used to get the permission ..........”
“.......... now Ananda Rao and his brothers feel happythat ‘annalu’ not allowing them to sell the land was beneficialand they pay their grateful thanks to ‘annalu’ .......... I learnthat Ananda Rao’s brothers praise us before our Lachi ..........your brother saved us from those slushy fields, cattle messand that horrible life exposed to sun and rain by being in therevolution .......... yes, don’t they? They now move about inA.C. cars without placing their feet on the ground .......... ourstruggle for a new way of life showed them a new world forthem .... whereas like the frog in the well, our lives and attitudesgot shrunk into nothing .......... in olden days, after the teacher– taught ‘gurukula’ education, the son of the king was sentout with the son of the minister to go round the country fortwo years to know the world on the condition that the son ofthe minister should not reveal his identity .......... but the youngprince returned by waging a war winning over countries ..........in the same manner the doras became wealthy seths after
leaving the villages .......... they became industrialists,contractors, leaders of the state, doctors, engineers, owners ofprivate colleges, government officers, and all those who ranaway from villages are living happily now .......... there wasnever any problem faced by them with regard to their poweror prestige .......... there was no loss on any account for them.......... Ananda Rao’s brother Hari Gopala Rao is now a Readerin the University and is playing an important role in theCitizen’s Rights Committee by shedding his haughtiness andlearning a little humility .......... the price of the land whichthey wanted to sell then was priced at Rs. Five thousand anacre .......... now that land costs one lakh an acre .......... evenif they give party fund and even if they allot ‘annas’ a littleland, what is it they lose? ..........
Maddunuru Tejeswara Rao dora breaks coconuts andoffers them to gods praying that the revolution should be asuccess. He ran away from forests and earned hundred croresby coming to the city. He says he would have earned thousandcrores if the revolution had started ten years earlier. Manypeople do not know that because he asked his people whythey continue as landlords living in villages instead ofbecoming industrialists. As a result the old class peopledisappeared and the new class of industrialist is flourishing.That means the villages of Jagityala have changed into thevillages of Gudivada with the help of the struggle and theproject waters. Now the landlords are not being killed but thekilling of those other than landlords by shooting them downmakes this clear .......... but the culture of the revolution ispreventing caste wars.
There is great truth in what Tejeswara Rao dora says ..........if the revolution had started ten years earlier .......... to be moreprecise .......... if it had commenced twenty years earlier ..........
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the share of Telengana to Telanganites in the political,economic, cultural and social areas would have been in theirhands .......... the doras of this area would have establishedinstitutions like Andhra Sugars .......... Nagarjuna Fertilizersetc and would have prevented the loot by the coastal people.......... our people would have done better than them andmoved forward .......... education would have flourished twentyyears earlier and the jobs in Telangana would have been gotby the people of this region .......... agriculture would havetaken the lead twenty years earlier. Then the advent of ‘Gunturvillages’ in Telangana districts would not have come intoexistence at all. .......... if the land lords prospered likeindustrialists there would not have been these struggles. Theexpansion of the coastal people and others prevented thedevelopment of the landlords of Telangana. As a result armedstruggle against the landlords of this area had to be taken up.
“.......... sir, you may belong to the coastal area .......... asyou are a judge, think in terms of justice .......... Tell me truly.......... if in 1956 Telangana had been formed as a separatestate would this situation have arisen at all? Just as in the coastalarea, the important people of this area would have grown intoindustrialists and would have gone to cities leaving the villages.......... would they have lived in villages even if they wererequested to do so .......... would landlordism have got intothis sate of stagnation? .......... if a Tahasildar got promotionhis subordinate would have got promotion as a Tahsildar ..........the junior assistants would have got promotions by stages.......... if the doras of this area grew into landlords andindustrialists, we would have become clerks, teachers,mechanics and workers ..........the coastal area communistleadership reached greater heights in the name of Telanganastruggle, became masters over us and in the name of onenessdestroyed our lives. All the opportunities available in the
Talangana were knocked away by the coastal people ..........they diverted the budgets to their region .......... political poweralso was theirs, now they talk of naxalites and are obstructingdevelopments, sir ..........
For that fort .......... he fought to gain the upper hand andwe fought for his losing it .......... now the Muddunuru dorahas bequeathed it to the village and the village school andthus expressed his gratitude .......... and his enlightenment.......... that enlightenment is now trying to unify therevolutionary parties and strive for separate Telanagana ..........though what the revolutionary parties profess is class attitudes,in practice it helped only in making the upper class landlordsgrow into wealthy industrial localized class.
“.......... to tell the truth except for a few haughty doras,who would be angry with the revolution now? .......... thenthey lived in one village .......... now they live in villages andlive in towns and cities .......... all parties are theirs .......... theyknow how to drive away people of my sort and this art theyderived from their caste .......... those Velama doras .......... andReddy doras .......... became leaders of the revolutionary partiesalso .......... they are not actually the children of landlords ..........they grew from poverty and thought of becoming upper classbourgeois but settled as petty of upper class bourgeois andfrom there gradually .......... developed newly rich upper classmentality .......... starting from Kondapalli to Adi Reddy andto Ganapathi .......... they are all the same type ..........
“.......... before the doras left the villages and went to cities.......... the business in cities and towns was handled by vysayas.......... padmasali .......... viswabrahmana .......... gonda ..........other shudra communities and castes .......... now theseprofessions also have been taken over by the doras ..........Red terror so positively made them to act and master the
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science of development .......... Ambedkar wanted the newdevelopment and growth to reach the classes of people whohad yet to grow .......... the revolution made it difficult for thedown trodden to reach it and passed it on to the upper classes.......... the burden of restriction fell on the castes and classesthat needed to grow and all development went to the upperclasses and the ruling classes .......... if I had known about thisthen itself I would not have joined it .......... now the past didnot help me but is haunting me like a ghost .......... what benefitdid we get out of twenty years of revolution .......... exceptself-confidence ..........
“.......... now the doras and the ruling classes have love,fear and devotion for revolution .......... they can save withoutan encounter taking place .......... it is very easy for them ..........officers .......... the police .......... the leaders .......... all are one.......... all are their own people .......... or those who listen tothem ..........
“.......... oh judge .......... I am not angry with anyone forthings to have taken this shape .......... I do not feel angry withthe police who bounce on us like a ball that hits the wall ..........my anger is not on the ruling class .......... this is not anger.......... but .... agony, pain, sadness, tears .......... why did thecourse of history become topsy turvy? .......... within thesetwenty years our ambitions have become upside down ..........how did the ambitions of the doras who lost all hope surgeforward? .......... why did the development of the depressedclasses not take place because of the revolution? .......... whydid the results of the struggles boomerang? It is not importantto ask how much struggle was waged .......... its impact andresult .......... but how much of it was registered .......... that isimportant .......... experiments are ours .......... results are theirs.......... restrictions and sacrifices are for us .......... experiences,
leadership and development are their share .......... I am worriedwhy it has been happening like this ..........
“.......... oh my revolutionary friends! .......... as time passesfeelings die down .......... the history of experiences alsodisappears .......... but the attitudes and perspectives that growout of them will keep going forward .......... that is why historymeans it is the history of perspectives .......... that is why manwill be re-writing his history according to the perspectivesthat are born out of experiences .......... my people of sevengenerations .......... have to rewrite the history like Spartacus*.......... that will be incomplete like this .......... the definition ofincompleteness depends upon your perspective ..........
“.......... sir .......... my people know only to struggle andfight but do not know how to derive benefit from them ..........my people have our anger and emotion but not worldly wisdom.......... my people know only to die but do now know how towin in life .......... we belong to those oppressed castes whichhave produced for thousands of years all articles and createdarts with our hands without knowing how to market them andmake money ..........”
“.......... our products and art attracted the world ..........with that migration and wars commenced .......... those whoenjoyed our art and labour handed over the country to theforeigners because of their selfishness .......... we did not knowthe language .......... we did not know how to express our ideas.......... we had no history .......... this is not my history ..........this is the history of someone else .......... my business is tocarry on my shoulders the leaders ..........
“.......... on that side the police .......... on this sideinvestigation whether I turned into an informer .......... what is
* A Roman slave who defeated Roman armies in Italy in 73 B.C. in an insurriction.
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more torturous than questioning and doubting truthfulness,sir .......... the government itself is afraid and is shifting thepolice stations into towns .......... if a note is sent to the S.I. orthe minister, out of fear or devotion, the required amount isgiven for the party fund .......... but why should innocent peoplebe tortured on the pretext they gave food or shelter, sir?
.......... why should they be thrown into jails and made torun round courts for cases? .......... when the leaders of all theparties are getting things done because of fear, how can it beconsidered a crime if the same help is given because ofaffection and admiration, sir? .......... when my wife ..........out of fear or affection .......... without my knowledge hadcarried information once or twice .......... why should she bepunished so heavily, sir? .......... ‘annalu’ also did not believe.......... they thought that she tried to reveal their presence tothe police when opportunity presented itself .......... that wasthe reason why I took part in the procession of a lakh of peopletaken out against the police and the naxalites organized bythe Ambedkar Associations ..........
“.......... now every step I take is being assessed with doubt.......... the two sections are referring to dictionaries to findmeanings which are not there .......... sir, because of continuousjailing the fire in us has cooled .......... this life has been coveredby soot .......... the house where revolution is cooked, for wantof oxygen, the house is filled with smoke .......... my historyhas gone, hazy .......... now my life is smoke without fire ..........our lives smell half burnt wood .......... people here do not getburnt all at once sir, pass a death sentence on me .......... orhang me as my life neither can be burned in fire or convertedinto ashes .......... I am not an individual .......... I am the motherearth of lakhs and crores of Telanganites .......... call mychildren and sister devadasis, as prostitutes and pass the death
sentence on me .......... my Telangana craves for freedom now.......... the villages and towns which we gave shape shouldbelong to us .......... all these lands which we cultivated byfelling the forests should be ours .......... we should reap thebenefits of growth and development .......... we have to develop.......... we want freedom .......... we need freedom from theheavy weight of the schemes of revolution placed on our headsfor the mere asking of a change in our lives .......... the deathsentence gives us freedom of all kinds .......... so I request youto record this as my dying declaration.
“.......... ha! .......... ha! ha! I came making all arrangementssir .......... I swallowed the required number of sleeping pillsthat will kill me. My Telangana is committing suicide..........”
“.......... oh .......... my people of the world .......... don’tplay with this corpse and save humanness in man .............co-operate with us for our freedom and equality ..........”
Pentaiah alias Praveen collapsed in the court hall ..........a crowd gathered around him .......... there was a hubub in thecourt hall .......... van – van – doctor .......... doctor .......... phone.......... phone .......... cries, shouts .......... the court hall wasjam packed. In that confusion the pen of the judge broke.
December 1997, Vipula Monthly.
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17
ENLIGHTENMENT
“ I will not study.” Gangadhari said crying uncontrollablyas tears ran down his eyes.
“If you say that again, I’ll kill you, you brute.”
Yellaiah, his father, raised the stick to beat his son again.Latchaiah, the teacher of the village, did not like such a sceneto take place before his house. He stopped Yellaiah frombeating his son and comforted Gangadhari by hugginghim.Latchaiah observed the lashes on the dark tender body ofGangadhari. The previous day he had told Yellaiah that hisson was not attending the school regularly. Latchaiah felt verymuch agonized as if he instigated Yellaiah to beat Gangadhari.
Latchaiah had great love for Gangadhari. When he tookcharge of the school, Gangadhari’s name was registered asGangaiah. Latchaiah got the name changed to Gangadhari.Gangadhari had showed great interest in studies earlier andscored good marks. But he lost interest in studies in the presentyear.
“The water is getting cold,” said Mallavva, the wife ofLatchaiah as she brought tea for the three. His wife was namedMallavva by her parents, but he called her Malleswari.
Ever since they came to that village, Yellaiah grew closeto Malleswari. If she wanted any article for the household,
say firewood, she would tell Yellaiah and he would arrange tosend them by bargaining for a lower price. Gangadhari alsowas liked by the family.
Gangadhari did not drink the tea. “What harm did thechai do to you, son! Drink it,” cajoled Malleswari. Gangadhariput aside the tea, crying. Latchaiah drank his tea and walkedtowards the bathroom. The walls were made of hedge thattis.
Latchaiah finished his bath and was combing his hair.“Even if you kill me, I will not study at all” said Gangadharisuddenly and ran away. His foot hit the tea glass and it rolledaway. Yellaiah could not catch hold of the boy.
Latchaiah ran towards Yellaiah. “Don’t shout at him. Iwill bring him round in four or five days.” Yellaiah leftconsoled.
Gangadhari suffered from fever many times during theyear. He had loose motions. He was not taken to a good doctor.The boy could not attend the school. He had the talent to makeup lost time. Perhaps he thought that the books and the noteswere a hindrance to his freedom. Moreover, the lessons seemedto be written keeping in mind the average boys belonging toupper classes. They did not create any interest in the minds ofthe village boys and those belonging to depressed classes. Hehimself had faced this problem when he was young. Theremedy for this problem was not in his hands. If Gangadharicould manage somehow to study upto the Intermediate class,he could reach any heights later in his educational career.
Latchaiah, the teacher, had faced problems likeGangadhari when he was a boy. But the problems faced werethose of his elder brother Narasanna. Narasanna did exactlylike Gangadhari when he was of Gangadhari’s age. Narasanna’s
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parents behaved exactly like this boy’s parents. They too wereworried and distressed.
When Narasanna said, “I will not go to school,” they puthim to torture. They converted the house into a police lock-uproom. His thighs were pinched. He was hung upside downand beaten. They starved him. The entire village put him toshame. Imagining that he was under the influence of tantrics,efforts were made to drive away the evil forces. His head wasshaved and shampooed with lemon juice. The more they‘treated’ him in this manner the more stubborn he grew. As aresult he would wander about and go home to eat when therewere no one in the house. He slept out. Perhaps he went toschool, afraid of receiving the blows like his elder brother.Why should there be such torture for giving education?It issaid the universal poet, Ravindrabath Tagore, freely movedabout without education for fourteen years! Perhaps he becamethe universal poet as there was no pressure on him regardingstudies. That might be the reason he established Shantiniketanadvocating freedom in studies. If only Narasanna hadopportunities, he would have become a greater poet thanTagore. Narasanna was an adept in telling stories andanswering riddles. He attracted many children with his talents.His brother was fond of nature, trees, bushes, lakes and canalsand the like.His father forced Narasanna to learn the familytrade. His father’s behaviour made him decide that he shoulddo nothing advised by his father. He preferred to cry saying“Kill me,” than to study or learn the community profession.
Narasanna was a dare-devil. He would collect strangethings walking along the fields. He would bring fruits of manyvarieties. He would fell trees and bring firewood. Also fishes.He would make the top whirl on his palms in different ways.
We were afraid of snakes in lakes and the tendrils of waterplants. But he would dive into the waters of lakes and bringlotus and other such water flowers and sell them.
One day Narasanna’s father tied him to a stake and askedhim to learn the profession of their community beating him.He was not given food. He lost consciousness. In the nighthis mother fed him, freed him and prayed him to go to thehouse of some relation and begged him not to go away fromthem. His father beat his mother and she was bed-ridden forthree days. Narasanna had no interest either in studies or theirfamily profession.
Narasanna’s whereabouts were not known. He was notwith any of their relatives. People said he would have runway. They thought that he might have died having jumpedinto a well or a tank. His mother searched for him all overcrying. He was not found. No one could tell where he was.
Some people said that he was seen in Nizamabad aftersome time. He was said to be working as a bearer in a hotel.Pressed by his wife, Narasanna’s father collected money forthe bus fare and went to Nizamabad. He was told that the boyhad left the job. Some said he was seen in Jalna, some othersthat he was seen in Bhivandi. Others said he was working inBombay helping the mill workers. Yet others said he wasweaving powerlooms. He was stated to have become a goodmechanic. Rumours were heard but there was no letter fromhim.
Narasanna had earned the name that he did not fit intoany work and cannot get on with anyone. But no one broughtthe news that he had deceived them, or had borrowed moneyor had not paid them back. He could not tolerate anyone’sauthority and so could not stay on with anyone for a long
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period.
Oneday he came home and told us that he would notleave the place. They got him married. He thought that a wifewas a burden. He left his wife and went away. Later it wasrumoured that he took a Marathi woman as his mistress andthat he left her too. After that someone reported that he elopedwith the wife of another person. Someone said he wasmurdered in Bombay, that he was seen in Pandaripur in theShirdi Sai area. Some said he was working in Surat. Laternothing was heard of him. Brother, who desired freedom,ended his life like that. It is not known why some people hatesocial bondage. Will there be freedom beyond social bonds?Perhaps people hate social bonds as in some cases freedomproduces strain and as in some cases the other person’spresence takes the form of a burden for them. That may bethe reason for people to hate social bonds.
People called him a madcap. If only there was a littlecompassion, a little joy and happiness in his life, with educationimparted in a free atmosphere or even the profession of thecommunity, these things would have helped my brother togrow to great heights. The sadistic behaviour of the teachers,the stubbornness of the society and the superstitions of people,together played a havoc with persons like Narasanna who hadnot yet developed ability to express themselves about theircraving for freedom, their creative talents, their ambitions andtheir yearnings. Was there no chance of improving even inthe present times the nature and behavioural pattern ofNarasanna that were being observed in Gangadhari? Couldhe not do anything to prevent Gangadhari getting changedinto someone like his brother?
Gangadhari was sensitive. He would get upset easily. He
did not speak out. Gangadhari had started loving trees andbushes. Like his brother he walked along canals and tanks.He brought fish. He took the three goats to the hillocks andmoved around trees purposefully. He sang songs bycomposing poems. He had signs of becoming a poet. But howdoes it help if he did not study? It was different for Tagore inbecoming a poet. Does Gangadhari have those opportunities?
Latchaiah got disturbed in mind remembering Narasannaand grew sad. As it was late to go to school he sent his leaveletter. He gulped down something and walked aimlessly alongthe fields. Women were singing songs here and there. Thebeautiful gardens, the fields and the Bengal gram crop attractedhim with their fragrances. He was tempted to pluck a fewcornheads, but stopped doing so as his refined culture camein the way. The chrysanthemums had blossomed forth in alltheir glory along the tank bunds. He did not know how longhe kept wandering. By evening he saw Gangadhari singingsongs and cajoling his goats to drink water on the sub-canalbund of Sriram Sagar. Latchaiah reached home before nightfallhiding behind the bushes unseen by Gangadhari.
Will man derive so much happiness and joy in theloneliness of nature? How light he felt in body and mind! WasGangadhari refusing to study thinking that it would increasethe distance with nature from him? The boy had love of naturebut had no lands or fields of his own. Will this drive him tobecome an agricultural labourer? Will agricultural labourersand others be able to exchange so much of freedom and joywith nature? Latchaiah entertained vague thoughts as he atehis meal and slept off in the night.
Next morning Gangadhari’s mother Boodavva metLatchaiah with a sad face. “O sir! My son did not return home
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last night. The goats came home. He did not turn up duringthe day also. I did not lock the door thinking he would comeanytime and eat his food. What happened to my son? He wasdoing whatever he was asked to do. He has been active andenthusiastic in whatever he did. Please see that his father doesnot beat him. Kindly see that he does not run away. I remainyour slave, ever,” she said with tears.
“Don’t feel pained about him. Forget your responsibilityfor a while. Don’t abuse and scold him even if he does not goto school for somedays. What happens if he doesn’t attendschool? He can pass any examination, tenth, Inter or evendegree, by taking the exam privately after paying the fee. Ifhe gets interested in studies he can study whatever be his age,”Latchaiah told her giving her encouragement. The boy becamea free person from then on.
Latchaiah bought books in Telugu and English on theeducational system when he visited Hyderabad and startedreading them. His doubts increased as he read more and more.He began to suspect that more than parents the ‘Narasanna-Gangadhari factor’ was responsible for only one or two studentsreaching the tenth class among those who joined schools inthe first class. Gradually this opinion got confirmed in him.He raised the same topic at the seminar conducted during theDistrict Educational Training Centre.
When Latchaiah met his old friend Lakshmaiah , a lecturerworking in a B.Ed. college during a marriage, he opened thistopic again. Many of the invitees showed interest in thediscussion. The discussion was on the possibility of learningby self-efffort without the need for the educational instituteslike schools as opined by Jiddu Krishnamurthy or others. Willthe students be more enlightened if they were left to themselves
till they attain twenty years without going to school and wereallowed free movement like Rabindanath Tagore? Will theparents, though rich, agree to this system?
As on one side the guests were eating their food, on theother side this discussion was going on in an excited manner.
“To tell the fact, the present day educational system hasnot been giving importance to the children’s imaginative andinventive talents, to their freedom, to their likes and dislikes.It does not give them a chance to express freely their individualideas and is turning them into a relay centre. We are makingthem mere tape-recorders, a radio or a T.V. relay station. Theyare to repeat what you told them, answering questions takingthem form books. This amounts to suppressing their interestand yearning towards learning. In order to learn to write thelanguage one need not spend so many years studying books.The present day system of education calls the dalit by-standeronly to tell him that his brain is dud,” said Lakshmaiah, a littleharshly.
“You mean that whatever is learnt in the school is not ofuse in the actual life. Is that so?”
“I don’t say so. According to this system what is writtenin the lesson the children have to explain and express. In thiseducational system there is no opportunity given to childrento express new ideas after reading a lesson. Secondly, someunderstand the text but cannot express it freely. The third pointis some children feel like keeping to themselves some ideasthey had learnt in the lesson. This method of forcing thechildren to vomit out what they have learnt is not proper. Thechild keeps to himself what he learnt and yet responds fullylike a flowing rivulet. What is wrong in it? His individualityhas its full identity! I cite the example of the mutes. How can
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we call the system educative when you expect the child torecite what he has learnt by rote? You are only turning thechildren into machines in accordance with the lesson. Nothingis more absurd to expect the child to recite from memory byforce. As a matter of fact, children can express themselvesfreely when they ‘accept’ the ideas of the text as their ownthoughts. Are not your ideas or the ideas of the lesson beingforced on the children wrongly against their own ideas?”
Lakshmaiah delivered almost a lecture by the time heconcluded. Latchaiah then narrated the case of Gangadhari tohim.
“Poverty is an obstacle for everything. Tagore, JidduKrishnamurthy and the Buddha grew up without poverty andso they could grow to the level of expressing freely about thevalues of freedom and convince others. Perhaps, because ofthe community in which he was born or because of poverty,Gangadhari did not get the opportunity,’ said Lakshmaiah.
“It would have been indeed wonderful if only theeducational system could cater to the tastes and the children’sindividual requirements” replied Latchiaih with some anguish.
“I agree with you,” said Lakshmaiah and the discussionended there. Any discussion ends when there is agreement.What remains is putting the ideas into practice.
Latchaiah arranged assemblies inviting young childrenin his school. He encouraged Gangadahri. He madeGangadhari sing songs during dharnas by teachers and otherprotest programmes. Gangadhari earned a good name withhis talent. Latchaiah took this boy to his place during holidayswhere the boy learnt band music making friends with thebandsmen. He learnt tailoring by being friendly with the tailor.
He worked as a labourer carrying bricks and digging wellsnot desiring to ask his teacher for his pocket money. He becamea good friend of the men who guard mango groves and theshepherds. They liked his songs very dearly.
When the schools opened in the rainy season, Latchaiahwas transferred to another school. Gangadhari did not feellike going to school as Latchaiah left the school. Learning ofthis, Latchaiah took Gangadhari with him to his new place.After his return the boy refused to go to school. So he wastaken to Venkat Rao dora to work as a cattle herd and attendto household duties at home. Haritha, the grand daughter ofVenkat Rao, was attracted by this boy’s songs and suchactivities and began following him out cutting classes at school.Venkat Rao gave a few blows to the boy not being able topunish his grand daughter. Gangadhari bore the punishemtsto seek Hritha’s company. Later Venkat Rao removedGangadhari from work as matters did not improve. Gangadharirevolted against his father also and after some time, he ranback to Latchaiah.
Latchaiah tried to fix the boy in a machinery workshopbut he managed to find the job of a shepherd refusingLatchaiah’s help. Some people heard Gangadhari’s songs andtook him to their place to sing the songs of their group. Asthey forced him to sing only particular songs, he left themand returned only to find his old job of herding sheep gone.
He started as a labour hand at house construction spots.He liked the job as he could give it up as and when he liked.He learnt masonry in course of time.
One day a group of sanyasis visited the village. Therewas an elderly person with a flowing white beard, his wifeand some disciples. The old guru had many disciples in many
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places. The guru was constantly on the move meeting hisdisciples.
The name of the guru was Poornananda Swamy. Thevillagers called him simply Swamy or Aiah garu. The guruwould eat food at the house of one of the disciples of thatplace, sing devotional songs and give spiritual discourses.“These physical bonds are a myth, an illusion. The joys andsorrows of life are an illusion. The human body is only aleather bag. Why should we develop ego taking a look at thisphysical frame? Everyone should be dust one day. It is ourgoodness that we leave behind. That is the only truth.” Thesewords of the guru were liked by Gangadhari.
That evening Gangadhari sang his songs in the assemblyand asked the guru many questions. The guru was astonishedat the boy’s intelligence and asked him to stay with him.
Gangadhari visited many places in the company of thespiritual guru and gained a lot of experience. When the wifeof the guru passed away owing to ill-health, this boy occupiedan important place in the entourage. Whenever the guru wasunwell, he sent Gangadhari with his disciples. He visited manymutts, met other spiritual leaders and gained more experience.
Now Gangadhari learnt some Sanskrit slokas, some Hindiand Marathi songs and some English. He started singing thesongs of Kabirdas and Ravidas melodiously. Ratna, who metGanagadhari at one of the International ashrams began toworship him. He did not observe this development. Ratna whobelonged to a Telugu family settled in Maharashtra, She hadlost her husband in an accident. Her parents did everythingpossible to help her regain peace of mind.
Ratna invited Gangadhari to visit her place. Her parents
also wished that it would be good if Gangadhari provided theneeded light in her life. Gangadhari had not turned his mindtowards marriage. His thoughts turned to his first guruPoornananda Swamy. He did not know where his guru was.He took leave of Ratna and left alone in search of his guruand went around many places.
In a village, naxalites confronted him. Gangadhari refusedto tell them about himself. They suspected that he belongedto the secret service of the police. They thrashed him and lefthim there. He lost consciousness while singing spiritual songs.After the naxalites left, the villagers gave him shelter pityinghim.
Later the police suspected him in another village.
“Who are you?”
“I am a living being.”
“Your name?”
“Don’t know it yet.”
“Which place?”
“I am searching for it.”
They thought he was a courier of the naxalites and beathim. He lost consciousness singing his spiritual songs. Apoliceman who had heard such songs said, ”This fellow lookslike a spiritual guru. Let us leave him alone.” With that,Gangadhari could save his life.
One evening he was drinking water at a bore well singingsongs to himself. An officer of the Girijan Welfare Board heardhis songs when the jeep stopped for water to fill the radiator.The officer suggested that it would be good if he sang for the
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upliftment of the people and offered to give him money forhis services. Gangadhari sang songs when they organizedprogrammes. But he felt that he was a coolie who lost hisfreedom and left them in search of his guru.
One morning he met a group of naxalites. One of themembers identified him. “Aren’t you Gangadhari anna? Don’tthink otherwise. I had a classmate very much like you. I sawhim long, long ago. I do not know whether he is alive or dead,”said he.
Gangadhari could not recognise him. His boyhood daysbecame vague like the experiences of a previous birth. Hekept quiet, not being able to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. After a while hestarted to sing a song and the naxalite was sure he wasGangadhari. As he finished his song, the naxalite huggedGangadhari.
“Gangadhari I am Sudhakar. We both moved around thehillocks and trees and tank bunds as boys,” exclaimed he withtears in his eyes.
Gangadhari learnt many things about his house andpeople. His father had died two years ago. Mother alwaystalked of Gangadhari. His younger sister had been married.She had two children. Her husband had left for Arab countriesfor his livelihood. Latchaiah had been promoted as a lecturer.His wife Malleswari was elected as the president of the Mandalin the women’s reserved seat. Latchaiah rememberedGangadhari now and then. A Shirdi Sai Baba temple had beenconstructed in their village. Rajaiah, Gangadhari’s close friendhad become an important contractor and was now the Sarpanchof the village. Venkat Rao dora died long ago. Hisgranddaughter Haritha had two children. Her husband waskilled by the naxals. She now ran a private school in her
grandmother’s house. She remembered Gangadhari andreferred to him now and then. Sudhakar wanted to marryHaritha under the widow marriage act but the party did notallow it though Haritha agreed for the marriage.
When Haritha’s reference was made, Gangadharirecollected Ratna.
“Are you not fed up with this lonely life which does notbelong to anyone? How are you able to lead such a lonelylife? Why don’t you do something good to the people livingamongst people?” asked Sudhakar.
Gangadhari smiled. It was not sadness. It did not hint atirony. It expressed serenity.
“Is the revolutionary struggle you make intended for thepeople? If so, what is the place of the likes and dislikes of thepeople in it ?” asked Gangadhari his direct question toSudhakar. He continued speaking.
“Revolution is your desire. The struggle of your theoryis to change the desires of the people into your own desire.Don’t you agree? You are forcing your desires and ideas onthe people. Because some people accept your ideas, you areunder the false impression that it is people’s wish. What ismeant by working for the people? When do you reach thatstage? When you do not extertion desires for yourself then itwill become possible for you to work for the people. Thatmeans, did you or have you vanquished your desires? Didyou manage to win against yourself? Are you experiencingthe joy of having won over your mind, over your desires?What is meant by joy and sorrow? Does joy mean craving forthings? You will be happy if I and others behave as you wishus to behave. That will be your happiness. How will it give
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me joy? Did you read the preachings of Lord Buddha? As amatter of fact, what is meant by freedom, love and mercy?”
Sudhakar faltered a little and spoke of what all he knew.He stressed that there was nothing better than the physical lifeof man.
“I didn’t contradict you! I also discussed the physicallife. I am talking about man,” replied Gangadhari.
As the discussion was interesting the group wantedGangadhari to stay with them for a week as there was no timefor further discussion then. Gangadhari followed them.
Within a week, every member of that group was botheredin their minds about the questions : “Did you win over yourmind? What is meant by mind? what is freedom? What is meantby society? What are the bonds of life? Is it possible to achievefreedom and deliverence without first getting rid of the mentaland physical bonds of man?” Gangadhari did not attempt togive them answers of any sort. The commander of the groupdismissed the discussion as belonging to the thought process.
“When mind is activated, from this activity perspectives,theories and desires generate. Then how can a discussion onthe mind be called discussion of the thought process?”questioned Gangadhari.
On one occasion the Area Division Secretary took partin the discussion. No one could find a satisfactory definition.Gangadhari did not reveal it. The naxals wondered whetherthese persons who looked like sanyasis who are seekers ofthe eternal truth were capable of such deep discussion.Gangadhari took leave of them when their secretary told himthat there was a meeting at the level of the Divisional area. Heagain started his search for his guru, the tatwik Poornananda
Swamy.
In a town, he heard about his guru who had gone therethe previous year. The guru had talked about Gangadhari. Theguru’s health had deteriorated. The guru had expressed hisdoubt whether he would be able to visit them again.Gangadhari learnt that the disciples of the guru from all overhad built an ashram at some place. Gangadhari could locatethe ashram. The guru had become emancipated and had grownvery old. The guru shed tears on seeing Gangadhari. He washappy that his child came searching for him and shed tears ofjoy.
There were about ten members in the ashram. The ashramhad a pleasant atmosphere. There were trees all round. Theashram had all facilities with rooms and a hall. It was a modelashram. In the evening someone started to sing devotionalsongs but the guru asked that person to desist from singingthem.
“Where does God exist, my son? Why do you search forthe God who does not exist? God is an illusion. Those whocould not conquer their minds created God and appealed tohim to satisfy their desires. Your God is born in your desires.Your mind is your God. Your mind is your Satan. These twoexist nowhere else but in your mind, my son.”
Gangadhari felt happy at the change he observed in thethinking of his guru. Lord Buddha had also said the same.Gangadhari sang the songs written in this vein of thoughtplaying the musical instrument kanjeera to beat time.
Days were rolling by. The disciples were coming andgoing. His guru was happy to hear Gangadhari discuss withthe disciples the problems of life and mind. Gangadhari had
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reached great heights in attaining enlightenment. He woke upearly and did gardening and cleaned the premises. He cooked,he felled trees and brought firewood. He cleaned the toiletsand bathrooms. Why, he carried on many such chores. Theguru’s health improved observing Gangadhari’s jest and spirit.The guru was worried that he had no heir all these days. Nowhe was rid of that worry.
One morning, the disciples gathered around their gurudrinking warm porridge. Someone raised the topic of familyand sanyasa.
“The difference between chastisement and lust is thedifference between sanyasa and family,” said one of them.
“Managing family life like a sanyasi is the essence ofreal life,” said someone else.
“If that really happens, this world will be filled with infinitelove,” averred another.
The discussion went on as the guru heard them all silently.Gangadhari spoke his mind when the opportunity arose.
“I want that I and Ratna should live together. What isyour opinion?”
“If Ratna can leave her children with her parents she canbecome one of us here.”
“What about the bramhacharya talked about byBuddhism?” asked someone.“Sanyasa is the family life ledby the living being in order to allow the being to live. Samsaraor the family life is nothing but living for the sake of the illusorybonds of life. The sanyasa suggested by Buddism is great. Tolive the life of sanyasi while leading a family life is greaterstill. That is the reason why Buddism declined and Hindu
dharma managed to survive and grow.”
There was again a discussion on this issue. They couldnot decide anything with specificity. The discussion was leftundecided as it was thought that taking a decision would makea partial and unfair conclusion.
Gangadhari brought Ratna. With the arrival of Ratna therewas a glow in the ashram. If his mother learnt that he wasalive, she would feel happy. Gangadhari put before his guruhis proposal to visit his mother along with Ratna.
“If you go there, many of your friends and relatives willmeet you. It may take a long time for you to return. I cannotbear your separation. Why should not your mother stay herein her old age? If a letter is written she will come flying. Or itis better still if we send one of the disciples to bring her,”suggested the guru.
Gangadhari’s mother Boodavva came to the ashram andturned into an ashramite. Haritha who had heard ofGangadhari, made a couple of visits to the ashram. Latchaiahand Laksmaiah also met Gangadhari and complemented theguru.
A senior disciple who was as old as the guru asked theguru,” how do you want to run the ashram after your demise?”
“It is a matter left to your discretion,” said the guru, politelyescaping from a discussion on the topic. Yet there was adiscussion for some time. Gangadhari who came that wayspoke his mind.
“Human beings are craving for true freedom. Shall westart a school that will be like a world where true freedom,pious humanity and mercy would prosper?” asked Gangadhari
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keeping in mind his life.
“Will those who enjoyed and experienced true freedom,love and mercy here be able to live in the world outside?”doubted one of the disciples.
Gangadhari was surprised that the thought never occurredto him. He appealed to the guru for his message.
“Son, the system you have in mind is not the properanswer. This world is the truth. Selfishness, jealousy, the bonds,the craving for superiority, the state and government - all theseare truths. But all these are an illusion. Getting lost in one’sselfishness in all these aspects is the illusion. To get free fromselfishness while living in all these aspects and yet lead thelife of a sanyasi is the real emancipation from illusion. That istrue freedom, love and mercy.
This is called, by some, as the life of a rajayogi. It isselfishness to run ashrama and mutts developing one’s beliefs,increasing the properties of the ashramas and squeezing moneyfrom the disciples. Deriving happiness from work is the supremejoy. Guru Ravidas was a very great philosopher who soughttruth but he lived mending shoes and moved about beggingand had not an iota of pride. Eternal knowledge is notsomething available with some person. It is not availablesomewhere else. It is available in the lowest of the low classesof people. What is ‘brahma gnana?’ It is the happiness derivedfrom creating something. It is the lower class people that createall things and wealth. That is why the people of the lowerclasses should be called as ‘brahma gnanis.’ No one elseknows better what is meant by supreme happiness.
“What is the meaning of the statement that those whohave attained brahma gnana are to be called brahmins?” a
disciple asked.
“That is wrong, son. It is the shudras, the lowest class,that attained brahma gnana and other sundry communities.How is it possible for the Brahmins who do not carry anyprofession that becomes one with nature to attain brahmagnanaand brhamananda? These two keep far away from them. It ispossible for those who get rid of authority and haughtiness.That is brahmagnana. That is the way of escaping from thisillusion. The real eternal happiness lies in getting out of theillusion of selfishness, hatred, physical bonds, the feelings of‘mine’, ‘not mine’, ‘I am great’, etc.. while living in the midstof these qualities. That is true sanyasa. That is what a truerajayogi does. That is the life as depicted by the Buddha. Whennothing is yours, all becomes yours. This statement of theBuddha is a great statement. What Gangadhari desires is anideal world that is separate from the ordinary world. That isnot easily attainable. We have to stress on winning over themind while being part of the life, doing things for the welfareof the world and at he same time remembering that nothingbelongs to us. The families, husbands wives, children, theproperties, power, name and fame, religion and community,this body and the feelings and opinions that are formed alongwith it -getting released from all these is meant by freedomfrom illusion. It is then that true freedom, unsullied love, mercy,an ideal world and true socialism come into being. The Buddha,Kabir, guru Ravidas and others have stressed on this essence,son! That is the message this kartika full moon day gives you.”
Discussion took place. They came to the conclusion thatthe correct and natural educational system is that whichencourages students to detect for themselves freely bythemselves and create in them the interest and taste to learn
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more and act accordingly. The disciples gave their word toco-operate in starting such a school. The guru blessed them tocommence the work soon.
All the disciples gathered on Buddha pournami day atthe ashram. The school was inaugurated by Boodavva. Theguru lighted the lamp. The school was named “EducationalResearch Centre” on the suggestion of Latchaiah andLakshmaiah.
The school, which was meant for the poor students, ranwell. Latchaiah got the mess charges released from the socialwelfare department for the hostel students. The officialscomplimented the school. After sometime Boodavva passedaway, having lived happily.
A seminar for seven days was organized with theencouragement of Latchaiah and Lakshmaiah. As Lakshmaiahhad become the Registrar of a University, he managed to getdifferent types of grants for the seminar and the programmewas co-sponcered by the University.
During the seminar Russel, Pavel, Mendel, Marks, J.K.,Ericfam, Tagore, Gandhi, Ambedkar, Mao, Gijubai, theBuddha, the gurukulams of the present day, the caste system,from Phoole to the railway train, children’s literature and manysuch topics were discussed.
The students of the ashram, their parents and the disciplesof the ashram took part in the discussions. Many experiences…many experiments, many responses. The participants had aclear idea of what a school should be.
Gangadhari visited a number of educational institutes inthe country, met many eminent teachers and collectedcontributions from those who had regard for the ashram. A
dry land of forty acres adjacent to the ashram was purchased.The ryots lowered the prices as it was for a good cause. Afence was raised around the land. Fruit, vegetable, and flowergardens were raised by the students of the ashram. The ashramgrew into a natural garden.
The games and songs, which were a part of the education,made the students feel that life was a happy sport. They learntto do any work as part of a game.
Gangadhari who had spent the whole day with thechildren, felt tired and retired earlier than usual. He felt a kindof satisfaction in that tiredness. He experienced the flow ofsome energy throughout his body. He suddenly realised thatthe fire of investigation mingled with dissatisfaction waspropelling him forward all these days. A new question beganto bother him. Will not people be able to achieve somethingwithout some deep, secret dissatisfaction in the form of a desirerage from the depths of the heart and push them into action?The Buddha, Kabir, Rabindranath Tagore, Vemana, Pothuluri,J.K.Phoole, Ambedkar- were they all fired by such a glow?Did they discover the ways of changing this flame ofdissatisfaction into a glow of satisfaction? Into a new attitude?That night, Gangadhari remained thinking for how long, noone knows. No one knew when he went to sleep…. And whenhe passed away in that sleep. Some said it was a heart attack.Some said it was brain hemorrhage. Ratna who tried to wakehim up went pale. The last rites were conducted with hisfavourite songs being rendered by the disciples and students.
“The man who was to have given light to the world leftwhen the world was in darkness” said the guru paying tributeto Gangadhari with tear filled eyes. Latchaiah and lakshmaiahfelt sad that Gangadhari left the school as an institution when
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he should have developed it into a University.
The guru did not live long who pined for Gangadhari.The old disciples came together and constructed a tomb fortheir guru. Ramakrishna and Sai bhajans started in course oftime. Ratna felt lonely. She understood that unless they allheld together, it was difficult to run the school.
Ratna invited Haritha to come and help her. Harithaexpressed her inability to do so. The school she was runningnow had a strength of three hundred students offeringinstructions upto the seventh class. She did not like to comeout of the bounds of her school for the sake of ideals.
Ratna requested Latchaiah and Lakshmaiah to takevoluntary retirement and offer their services to the ashram.They could not rise to the occasion. Ideals are one thing.Implementing them is another. Ratna was disappointed thatthey could not separate themselves from happiness and identitywhich they enjoyed in the society.
She left the ashram, unable to swallow the sharp remarksof the old disciples who taunted her constantly.
The ashram got delapitated after some time.
The board with the words ”Educational Research Centre”had fallen by the side of the gate as if waiting for someone toresurrect it . The students left the ashram and went their ways.The garden went dry.
Now the ashram shows itself as ruins to the passers by.Once a while the old disciples of the guru go to that place tovisit the tomb. On such occasions, people hear inaudibly somereligious songs being sung there.
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18
REAL ESTATE
It was raining. The sky was heavily overcast after manydays of eager waiting. Perhaps there is a kind of happinesseven in expectation. Mallayya was very happy. As a matter offact Mallayya’s family had planned a ‘garden dinner’programme for the day. Mallayya sent his son the previousevening to fetch his son-in-law, Sudhakar, in this connection.In all probability the programme would get postponed. YetMallayya was happy.
Mallayya glanced at his beautiful garden from the window.Dark clouds had covered the sky. It was still dark at eight as itwas at six in the morning.
Mallayya brushed his teeth with paste and came out intothe verandah gargling sun-flower oil in his mouth.
The house of Mallayya was constructed beautifully. Therewere eight coconut palms which had grown more than eighteenfeet tall. A grilled frame in semi-circle over the gate withjasmine creepers. A variety of different types of plants broughtfrom the government agriculture farm, a green lawn. Differenttypes of gourds spreading over the supporting frames, ladies-fingers, coriander and other vegetable plants. Gora the atheistwould wonder whether it was possible to grow a vegetableand a flower garden together so beautifully. His garden
symbolized the culture of an educated man who was anagriculturist. The house and the garden lent a beauty to thatstreet.
Mallayya was a common looking person. There was aglow in his dark face. Calmness and gentleness werecharacteristics of his personality. He was in his fifties. Born ina poor agricultural family he came up in life by studying hard.His wife Yellamma had done B.Ed and was working as a schoolassistant. They had four children. Mallayya also worked as aschool assistant for some years. Later he took the master’sdegree in economics and in literature. He was working as alecturer in economics.
Mallyya had three brothers and a sister. A hut and half anacre of land was all their property held jointly. After he gotemployed he bought two acres adjoining his land. His brotherwho had studied upto the degree ran a private school andlooked after the land. Mallayya got a pump set connectionfixed for that land.
Mallayya had all the qualities of those who come up inlife the hard way. After he became a teacher also he used towater the land both in the mornings and evenings by drawingit from the step-well walking up the ramp. He told the studentsthat doing so was an ideal. Work gave him delight. He wouldbe in a good mood when he worked. Work gave him greatthoughts. Work was meditation for him. That was also one ofthe reasons for the garden to take a beautiful shape.
He respected and loved work. When he was young itwas necessary for him to work while he studied. Now thehabit turned into a hobby as work gave him pleasure. It wasthis work habit that shaped his good manners and culture.
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How many know that there is happiness in the work habit?
Mallayya had great admiration for Mao. He felt that Maoshould have been born in India as a friend of Ambedkar. Headmired the educational programmes and the communesintroduced by Mao in China. The great ideal of Mao was ‘workin one session and study in another session’. Mallayya believedthat poverty and inequality imposed by the caste system couldbe solved by this ‘work-study’ shift system. He was sure thatwhen the compulsory primary education succeeded, highereducation would be within the reach of all in India. As a resultpoverty, laziness, disrespect for work and the feeling ofinequalities among castes and religions would disappear. Itwas only then India would grow as an ideal country in theworld. He explained the same point to the students in theclasses. He took part in many movements in keeping with hisideals.
Mallayya’s children imbibed his ideals. They showedequal dedication for work and study. They were never proudthat they scored higher marks than others. That was the reasonwhy everyone liked his children.
Mallayya’s eldest son Sandeep secured a lecturer’s job ina private engineering college. Yet he had set his aim onbecoming an R.D.O. or a C.T.O of the rank of a Group-I officer.His daughter Pawani was doing her medical course in KakatiyaMedical College. Kranti, next to her, was studying the degreecourse. The youngest of them all, Shravya, secured a rank inthe district at the Intermediate examination. Sandeep andPawani telephoned that they would not be able to attend the‘garden dinner’ programme.
There were some who did call Mallayya a miser. But that
was not the truth. It was a fact that he would not indulge inwasteful expenditure. He brought up Sudha, the daughter ofhis younger brother who was an attender, as his own daughter.He celebrated her marriage during the summer holidays in hishouse when she was in her second year degree course, as agood alliance was suggested for her.
Sudha went to her mother’s place from her in-law’s tospend the Ashadha month. She stayed with her mother for aweek and went to her uncle’s house. The bridegroom wasexperiencing the pangs of separation from his wife. Sudhawas standing in the rain with a towel tied to her head afterbath and was plucking jasmine flowers. Mallayya smiled atthe thought that Sudha too liked to drench in the rain like him.
On seing her he recollected the friendly discussion Sudhaand her husband had during dinner in the night. Though theydiscussed cheerfully, the topic was of a serious nature. Sudhasaid that she would complete her degree staying in her uncle’shouse for the year. The young man had not yet got over thejoys of married bliss. He kept talking something evading thepoint raised by Sudha. Mallayya did not interfere in thediscussion and smiled it off. But in the night he waspreoccupied thinking of it.
Sudhakar came from a very poor family. He was the eldestof the children. He secured a teacher’s job in the interviewheld by the Zilla Parishat. He had to stop his M.Sc. coursemidway for the sake of the job. During the engagement sessiondiscussion took place in general without going deep intoparticulars.
Sudha desired to do M.Sc. and wanted that Sudhakarshould get his Ph.D. For Sudha her uncle was the ideal andthe model. Her aim was to work like her aunty. Sudha’s
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younger sister Bhavitha failed the tenth class four times anddecided stubbornly to stop her studies. Naturally when thegirl stops her studies, the next thing for the parents to do iscelebrating her marriage. The younger sister getting marriedfirst leads to whispers, rumours and other problems. So herfather was in a hurry to celebrate the marriage of Sudha asearly as possible. Mallayya understood his brother’spredicament. In such an unavoidable situation, Sudha had toagree for her marriage. She gave her consent to marry onlyafter she got an assurance that her marriage would not comein the way of her studies.
Yellamma and Shravya were busily engaged in thepreparation for the garden party. Drenched in rain, Kranthiwas seen bringing in mutton and a broiler cock. Mallayyacame out of the house, ‘pulling’ oil in his mouth. He had foldedup his lungi and was holding a long oar-like wooden rod asthough to clear the drain running in front of his house. Hisaim was to get drenched in the rain, of course.
Suddenly an awful smell greeted Mallayya. Someone hadthrown a dead cat or a dog in the vacant open site beside hishouse. Mallayya’s happy mood got disturbed. He had thoughtof forgetting the problems of his street but could not becauseof the smell. He was angry with the owner of the vacant site.
He had thought of buying that plot himself twelve yearsago. Ravinder brought his close friends and embarrassed him.He assured that he would construct his house within a year.Mallayya was happy that he would have a neighbour andhelped Ravinder in the transaction. Mallayya realized thatRavinder had different plans. He had no mind to construct ahouse in the site. He bought plots at four or five differentplaces. Mallayya had unwittingly helped Ravinder in buying
the plot. Ravinder would buy plots, keep them vacant andwhen houses came up all round sell them when the price shotup. This was a business tactic followed by some.
Mallayya faced many problems as the plot was left vacant.He had to build a compound wall on that side spending hismoney. The owners of the plots on other sides built walls andRavinder’s plot looked like a protected fort now. Twelve yearsago a gunta of land consisting of 121 square yards was pricedat rupees ten thousand. Now a gunta cost sixty thousandrupees. Unsatisfied with the rate Ravinder wanted a lakh foreach gunta.
The ‘real estate’ business is one in which a person earnswithout doing anything. People buy sites or land which lookdesolate, far away from the town or city. Some build houseswho need them. Later a cinema hall or a college, a bus-stageor a market or even a nursing home may come up there. Andthen one should observe how the price of land rises. Personslike Ravi make the best use of the situation. The new house isbuilt a foot higher than the neighbouring house. As a resultthe house built earlier looks as though the earth had sunk there.What is the use even if a house is constructed by raising thefoundation thinking that the road level would rise? After twentyor thirty years the road level rises very high and the houseremains far below it. The vacant plot owners are benefited inthis manner while those who build houses are at adisadvantage. If Mallayya and others had not built their houses,the price of Ravinder’s plot would not have exceeded twentythousand rupees a gunta.
These persons do not come forward to help in meetingthe municipal authorities for the erection of electric poles. Theywill not pay a single pie to bear expenses. They are least
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bothered about the efforts made to force the municipality totake up the construction of drains. They escape saying theycannot be considered citizens of the locality. They feel thatthe need is not theirs. They would pay when they constructtheir house, they say. The area where Mallayya lived was oneof the important centres in the town now. There was the effortof twenty five years behind the present situation. Mallayyawas the unelected secretary who helped the growth anddevelopment of the colony. But the time-serving people willbe ready to sell the plots when the prices go up as a result ofthe efforts of persons like Mallayya.
Mallayya was good at making such calculations. Hewished that such persons who made profits easily should bedone away with. If he had the forethought of Ravinder at thattime the plot would have been his now. In what way did hisbroad-mindedness benefit him? Was it only to help theneighbour to make profits easily?
Many people think that real estate business deals onlywith buying and selling of houses and plots. But it meansconverting human relations into a business enterprise. Therewill be an increase of population where there are people andwhere human relationships exist. The cost of plots increasekeeping in view the caste, religion, group, status andconveniences available.
Different varieties of real estate business flourished nowin the world. If one variety is connected with education andknowledge, the other has something to do with economicrelations. Yet another deals with officials and with politicalauthority. Economic status – culture – caste – perspective –male superiority and allied things are also some of them. Media– newspapers – radio – T.V. and the like as well as sports and
cinema are also the areas. Art and literature also play theirpart in the game.
The real estate business enjoys the importance which aminister who is in power enjoys. This business improves itsvalue of authority, movable and immovable property in relationto the exchange it can workup with other such business houses.Real estate in other forms is possible in accordance with thelimitations. All these are real estates which depend on mutualco-operation. Yet each one has its special features. That is thereason why each group, caste, race, country and family triesto achieve growth to the extent possible individually.
When the values in different wings of real estate are equalthe individuals and the institutions indulge in mutual give andtake exercise, respect each other and outwardly appear to beone. When inequalities arise among them, the one with highervalue exhibits its superiority and looks down on the othersslighting them, says Mallayya.
Education is by itself a ‘real-estate’. So long as a personhas the real-estate called education, people also give himrespect. Will they respect his attender brother equally withhim? The honour he enjoys is because of his growing up inthe real estate called education. Once he loses it he falls backinto square one. Getting respected in one field because of thevalue one enjoys in anthor field is purely temporary. Then thesolution lies in making special efforts in every field. If such athing does not happen, Ahyuta Rao who was so close to himwill also distance himself from him and it would happennaturally.
Mallayya had helped Achyuta Rao who was a civilcontrctor. If Achyuta Rao could consolidate himself as a
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contractor, it was because of Mallayya. Achyuta Rao also didnot deny this fact. Lakshman Rao, Achyuta Rao’s son andSandeep, Mallayya’s son were classmates. The two familieswere very close to each other. Sandhya, Achyuta Rao’sdaughter was treated by Yellamma as her own daughter.
Sandhya used to like Sandeep. He had no other avocationbut studying. The neighbours envied the two. Achyuta Raoand Mallayya themselves felt that the two would make an idealpair. One day a near relative spoke it out with Sandhya’smother. But this development pained Achyuta Rao who wasin debts. He felt as though the suggestion meant that as hewas not in a position to celebrate his daughter’s marriage, hecould think of giving her away to a groom who belonged to alower caste. The thought made him angry. When Sandeepsecured a seat in M.Tech through GATE Sandhya felt veryhappy. The three youngsters went to a movie that night.Achyuta Rao flared up saying why his daughter should be sofriendly with a boy who belonged to a lower caste.
“Are you not friendly with them?” shouted LakshmanRao and silenced his father. Strangely the outburst of AchyutaRao changed everyone in the family within a year. AchyutaRao himself forgot what he had said. He got ready mentallyto give his consent if Sandeep expressed his desire to marrySandhya. But his ego came in the way to make the proposal.He felt that there was a great need for elders to play the role ofmiddlemen so that his ego would not take a dent and othernecessities like dowry and gifts would be taken care of ininter-caste marriages. Achyuta Rao was worried that manymarriages were not taking place for want of such a system.
Sandhya and her mother cut short their visits to Yellammaafraid of the society. They kept up appearances saying that
their castes were not the same. Anyway, what was wrong ifSandeep married Sandhya? Was he deformed or lame? If theyhad come out openly saying that he was a handsome boy,what would have been the response? Yellamma’s thinkingwas different in this affair.
Yellamma had a keen eye on dowry. She forgot that shedid not carry any dowry to her in-laws. If anyone remindedher of it she answered back that she was earning well. She didnot mind if Sandeep married a girl of any caste. But he shouldbe given a sum almost equal or a little this way or that to theamount that is given to a boy like Sandeep in their caste. Shealso said if the girl was highly educated like Sandeep andearned an equally high salary like him, she would not mind towhatever caste the girl belonged and would not take a pie asdowry. Indirectly she meant that Sandeep would marry thegirl whom his mother liked and approved!
A person who thinks that his caste is higher than aparticular caste is like a lazy person who thinks he shouldearn well without doing any work as in the real-estate business.If in that business people get a higher price for a plot, herepeople try to gain profit through the caste in which they wereborn and through connections. The solution was in recognizingthe fact that higher self evaluation of one’s caste does notwork. Yellamma used to get terribly upset whenever shethought of Gayathri who lived seven houses away. Yellammaguessed that Gayathri was afraid that Sandeep might be inlove with her daughter Uma. Did it not amount to expressingher desire through her fear it would be good if Sandeep lovedher daughter? Who will love the girl who had been failing theintermediate exam consecutively for three years? Once it wasAchyuta Rao’s daughter. Now was it Gayathri? His sending
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the books needed for external exams with his money to heron her request has been made a crime! How ambitious wasGayathri, who belonged to a caste that was not fit to bementioned also? Would Gayathri seek on alliance for her sonfrom a higher caste? But she was ready to trap youngmenwho were highly qualified. People knock away educatedyoungmen without giving dowry and then talk of ideals andprinciples and talk deridingly of caste and religion. Was itsaid for nothing that a girl should be given in marriage into ahigher family and a girl taken from a poor family as one’sdaughter-in-law by our elders? Had not Kodavakanti KutumbaRao narrated in his work “Parvathi Parinayam” how hellish itwas if a girl of a higher caste was made one’s daughter-in-law? There are mean minds who say ‘what would you bringto us if you visit us and what will you give us if we visit yourhouse!’ That is how these small minds express their love.Yellamma spoke out her mind like that. She was afraid thatparents of girls may take away her grown up sons withoutgiving dowry.
Mallayya’s mind was pre-occupied with thoughts. Heremoved the dead cat and threw it into the drain. If any haddone such a deed in the past he would have lectured for halfan hour.
Of late Mallayya was trying to be generous only whenneeded. The unexpected blows made him act like that. Therewas the long period of social evolution behind this. There willbe always a clash between individual selfishness and socialresponsibility. During the thirty years that passed by individualfreedom won the victory. Mallayya lost the battle. His socialservice outlook made it easy for individual selfishness to win.
Mallayya belonged to the first generation of educated
persons after winning independence. He was one of the poorstudents who acquired higher education after a lapse ofhundreds of years. He was a model for those who left theprofessions of their castes and earned a job because of hiseducation. He easily won the hearts of people by his hardwork at studies as well as by his humility and obedience. Hishumility helped him in securing a job soon.
Though Yellamma was not a beauty Mallayya marriedher without taking dowry as she was educated and culturedand was also in a job. After marriage he gave an advance tobuy the land by the side of his house and bought the houseplot in the second year. Yellamma was of the opinion thattheir earnings should be enjoyed by them. In the early days oftheir marriage there were quarrels between them on Mallayyabuying lands for the joint family and other expenditure heincurred. Mallayya argued that their prosperity would enhancethe prestige of their family. But in course of time Mallayyalost the battle and Yellamma won. From then on there were nomisunderstandings between them. Mallayya could not butcome to terms with the line of thought between socialresponsibility and individual freedom which was not his. Hehad the satisfaction that he had purified himself by educatingSudha and celebrating her marriage. Perhaps Yellamma toohad a similar feeling.
Yellamma’s ambition in life was that she should possessa house of her own. After her wish was fulfilled she changeda great lot. It is women who face bitter experiences in a rentedhouse. The house owners decide what vegetables should becooked, how many friends and relatives could visit and duringwhat timings they should not come and other such things. Ifthe caste is an additional qualification in the case of some, for
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Yellamma it became a minus point. She felt that even herenemies should not face such problems. The difficulties oneexperienced in rented houses strengthened her desire to owna house.
Mallayya differed with his wife on this issue. He felt sadthat the poverty he experienced before he secured a job, theinsecurity he felt because of caste suppression and thedisrespect shown to him by the society hastened theconstruction of his house. When he recollected the saying thatfools build houses and wise men live in them, it made himsmile that they both were an example.
Mallayya mused that if he had bought more lands then,they would have fetched him a lot of money. If he had doneso his younger brother need not have worked as an attender.What did he gain after working hard for twenty five years –except possess the old house?
Mallayya actively thought of selling the house. Thereasons behind the thought of selling such a beautiful housewere different. On the day he made a mention of his thought,Yellamma shed tears. She applied leave for school that dayand did not eat food because of grief.
But as street quarrels and teasing of girls increased dayby day, Yellamma also started entertaining her husband’sthought. They both went round on a scooter searching for agood plot. They did not find any plot that compared well withtheir plot. The love and the bond one has on one’s own houseis such. They realized that they took the decision late whenthey learnt of the rates at which plots were sold. Even if theywent in for not so good a locality, they would be able to buyonly the plot after selling the house.
Their present house would not fetch the price theyexpected. Those who wanted to buy it said it was an old housebuilt in an old model and wondered how long it would last.They started bargaining by taking the pros and cons intoconsideration. Moreover people had fallen a prey to Vasthu oflate. Mallayya had no particular interest inVasthu. Yellammacame to know that a vacant plot had a greater value than ahouse in the real estate field.
The person who bought a vacant plot can build a houseaccording to his plan in stages. He can take loans from L.I.C.and other agencies. Such facilities were few in buying a readymade hosue.
Mallayya was pained that his house will not fetch theamount he expected. Raja Reddy who bought a bus with hishelp prospered. The comparison between them depressed him.He felt disgusted saying that all their earnings turned into deadcapital. Yellamma was very much upset at what her husbandsaid. “We were treated as human beings only after we builtthis house. Have you forgotten so soon the great self-confidence the house has given us and our attachment withthe house?” She accused him angrily.
For their children the house was like their mother. Perhapsa little more so too. Their mother sometimes chided them. Butthe house gave them cool shelter always and ever. To thechildren protecting the house was like protecting their mother.They fought like revolutionary soldiers for their right on thehouse and the street.
Twenty five years ago they had bought the plot with greathopes and ideals. Compared with the present the past washappier. Things do not happen according to man’s preferences.History also has an order. History moves forward following
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the order of events. The ideal of the socialist society imaginedby Mallayya falling behind may be a part of this order. Perhapshis notion that economic theory was the deciding factor wasdefective. The socialist struggles of revolution fell into thebackground and lost their strength.
Mallayya had the habit of saying that every small incidentthat took place in his house or the street was a part of nationaland international situation. The colony in which he lived gotdivided into two groups when Pavani was studyingintermediate. She was now doing medicine. His group becameweak gradually and the other group strengthened. This broughtabout a feeling of frustration in Mallayya.
Pavani was returning after visiting her friend Suneetha.Then lights went off. A vagabond took the opportunity to pullthe plait of Suneetha. She slapped him with her slipper. He bither cheek and ran away. Mallayya’s children attacked thehouse of that fellow that night and destroyed whatever theycould get at. He was admitted as an inpatient in the hospital.His parents filed a case in the police station that their housewas attacked by Mallayya’s children. Mallayya tried todiscourage them taking further action describing it as part ofthe poisonous international bourgeoisie culture. But hischildren lodged a case of physical molestation and attemptedrape.
Then commenced the actual warfare. People startedtalking as they liked. Will any father openly make fuss sayingthat his daughter was raped? Will people of low caste have asense of shame at all? they said. In that colony peoplebelonging to the roudi’s caste were more in number. All therumour mongering was theirs. Mallayya’s ideals, the broad
world, socialist society and the like were all blown off as if ina dust storm.
Mallayya spat out the oil as if he remembered some thing.He washed his mouth with water and cleaned his teeth withpaste.
The rain abated a little. All the members in the housewere getting ready to go to the garden dinner. The aroma ofboiling mutton and condiments filled the air.
Sudhakar lazily got up from bed stretching his limbs andglanced at Sudha who was making a flower garland. Sudhasignalled towards her uncle. The new bridegroom quicklypretended great respect for the uncle of Sudha. Sudha laughedheartily at her trick. Sudhakar went into the bathroom in ahuff.
Mallayya walked into the garden as if he did not observethe young couple’s playful romance. He started arranging thevegetable creepers properly which had slipped from thesupporting frames. He recollected the time when the quarrelbetween him and the street commenced.
The house was always full of women of that street whoused to come for the flowers or receive the vegetables free ofcost. Once all the roses of different colours were plucked andtaken away by someone. Pavani did not eat food that day.How can they keep watch on all things? Mallayya stoppedgiving saplings of plants to those who had no interest in tendingthem. Yellamma began to sell the vegetables to the push cartvendor to save time and to desist from the necessity of beingpleasant with those that came for the free distribution ofvegetables. The seeds of jealousy were sown from then on.
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The women of the colony called Mallayya an ideal person.Their husbands felt hurt at this. Every mother wanted herchildren to take Yellamma’s children as their ideal and model.References to Yellamma’s children were made frequently intheir talks. Yellamma’s children were the inspiration for thechildren of that colony. At the time of examinations there wasa competition among the parents to invite Yellamma’s childrento sleep in their houses so that their children would study wellin the nights. The children were treated with affection byoffering them refreshments and tea. Yellamma’s children werebrilliant. Other children could not match them. The mothersdeveloped jealousy towards Yellamma’s children in course oftime. There was no knowing when it would spark a fire. Thisill-feeling helped in widening the distance between the otherchildren and Mallayya’s children.
The court struck off both the cases for want of evidenceand witnesses. Those who filed the cases learnt the bitter lessonthat they should not meddle with stubborn people. Mallayyahad to suffer getting a bad name. His opponents would rakeup every now and then the issue and irritate Mallayya. Hewas pained that his education had gone a waste. He could notbear criticism bringing in his caste. In what way was he inferiorto others in the colony? What had caste to do with otherproblems? He fell into deep contemplation.
He had deeply read in world economics and forgot thepart caste plays even in such a science as economics. Mallayyaremembered the Telugu saying “the more one is put to studythe more one loses his intelligence” in this context.
Having understood the problem his mind underwent achange in its attitude towards new thinking. A new light gotfocused on the aspects which he did not understand earlier or
on the truths of life which he wanted to forget. He understoodnow why Ambedkar, a great economist, turned into aphilosopher who championed the cause of eradicating classand caste distinctions. Mallayya felt excited as though he wasthe first to discover the reason for the change in Ambedkar’scareer. Mallayya believed that no one could become aneconomist without first championing the cause of casteeradication. The reason being the institution of caste itself is ascience of economics.
Caste accords a value to human relationships and convertsit into a business proposition. Every person who imagines thathis caste is superior to the other man’s caste is a real estatebusinessman. The economist who propounded this principlewas Manu. Why should we be angry with Manu who put downin writing what was in practice? He should be studied as weread Plato or Aristotle. Some Sudra classes that studied himcould enhance the values and importance attached to theircastes. Kamma, Reddy, Velama and other such castes did it.The other castes also have to take recourse to this action.Mallayya cannot but suffer till his caste gets greater respect.He has now to play a historical role in helping his caste. Allcastes should get merged through some process. When allcastes enjoy equal status there will be no problem of castes.He felt it strange that he who was thinking of changing thesociety which was thousands of years old in his country shouldnow take up the struggle for his caste.
Mallayya’s father had told him many times: “Son, do notdismiss my words as those of an uneducated man. If we livein our house among the people of our caste we will enjoyhonour – our caste also gets the respect. If we build a houseamidst those of other castes, we will suffer in future. For good
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or for bad, it is proper for us to live among the people of ourcaste. Don’t live in a place where no one of our caste lives.Perhaps you imagine that they will honour you if you live intheir midst. If so it is only your illusion. They will respect youtill they know details about your caste, the poverty of yourrelatives and friends. Those who respect you truly will showyou respect even if you live among our own people”. Howtrue were the words of the old man who was dead and gone!Having been under the influence of socialist ideology howmuch he lost in the name of class distinction!
The communists could not eradicate among people thedistinctions of groups, classes and religions though theybrought together millions of people into their organizations.They could not inculcate into the minds of people that allclasses are equal. That was why among the farmers, workers,teachers and the employed marriages did not take place withoutthe caste playing its role. The people of this country think oftheir caste first and make this point very clear in every contextat every place at any time. These castes have been under theillusion that their culture is the same as the culture of the upperclasses who could not set aside their caste. Being under thisimpression they eagerly read the stories, poems, the difficulties,the problems and the tears as their own. Now these peoplehave to establish a middle class group of farmers, teachersand the employed category who are prepared to shed theircaste. It is then the real estate business called superior castedisappears. Mallayya felt ashamed that it took him a lifeexperience of twenty five years to realize the truth which hadbeen existing for hundreds of years.
Mallayya realized what he lost all these years. If he hadcarried on the movement for his people, his father would have
felt happy. The process of love, friendship, culture, respect,sacrifice, the organization of movements etc. taken up by himhad all been a form of bonded labour in a new form. That iswhy, whatever the sacrifices, the policy deciding leadershipis not being captured by the labour classes. That may also bethe reason they fail to remove the feeling of belonging to ahigher class in others in spite of the sacrifices and comradeship.On the other hand their caste ego was increasing, AchyutaRao and Raja Reddy who grew in stature taking his help ……in each generation ...... if the reform was put into practice, thefeeling of caste superiority and caste distinction would havedisappeared long ago. Mallayya could only sigh.
Mallayya came to a decision about his son-in-lawSudhakar and his daughter Sudha. Though it would be afinancial burden, he would encourage them to continue theirstudies. That was important. If necessary his son-in-law shouldreject the job offer he got. He must tell his son-in-law hisdecision. Whatever difficulties they face, they should possessthe real-estate called “education – knowledge” which waswithin their reach. They should consider this as their primaryduty. This thought made Mallayya feel light as though theclouds of doubt and uncertainty had cleared.
“Everything is ready, father! Get ready quickly” saidShravya. Her words brought him back into this world. He tookthe towel and rushed into the bathroom saying he would beready within five minutes. “Send for the autos” he said.
Your question is clear enough. I do not have a clearanswer. It is proper that you should decide the way of life foryourself. So, though the answer is known it is not proper thatit should be told. I have come across some such situationsand I will place them before you. It is better for you to decidetaking into account all aspects. If you lose in the battle of lifeyou should not throw the blame on others but overcome theshock and be the victor again. This is possible when you havethe self-confidence that the decision was yours. If you sowseeds at the first showers, for want of rain the crop my dry uplater.=
You should stop discussing on Chalam* everytime. Thesociety has gone much forward since Chalam. If you hold onto Chalam for everything, how will it be your decision andyour experience? In a way it speaks of a slave mentality thatdepends on others.
Lakshmi! spring clouds, spring, lightinings and thundersare beautiful to look at and hear. The more the sunshinesbrightly, the more the clouds look beautiful with silver liningsand black borders. But if it rains in spring it is dangerous.Because of winds and hail storms the crop that has come to
19 harvest gets destroyed. People call spring rains the destroyingrains.
Lakshmi! The spring cloud has filled your heart. I am inthe chill winter. When I tell you something you may understandit in a different way. The reason for this rests on the twodifferent situations we are placed in. I lost all interest on thespring seasons of life. I feel the rainy season is the mother ofall seasons.
I belong to the old generation. You belong to the new.Between you and me there is a gap of many generations. Youare a girl. I grew up like a boy. Because of this too there maybe a lot of difference in our thinking processes. Psch! Whydid you shrink at the expression I made as though I made it tobelittle you? That means you are also attributing the meaningof the old traditions for the expression 'a girl'. In that casethere is nothing new in your attitude towards women. If not,you may say you are not the girl that would agree with theother girls who accept that expression.
Why do you say that all other girls are one and that youare different? Are you not separating yourself from womankindand becoming lonely and isolated? So your fight is a lonestruggle connected with your single self. Apart from theconfidence that the society is with you, you do not have thefaith that all girls think like you. Does it not look as thoughyou feel happy if you lose the battle for want of confidence inyour daring .....? Rangavva is far better than you......
• • •
Your question is not something new. It will not fit intothe frameworks of theories. That is why all theories are puttingthe question aside. That is the reason why though many have* A noted Telugu writer of the early twentieth century who fought for the
liberation of women giving them freedom in all aspects of life.
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been facing it, the society has been pretending and expressingsurprise as if it is a new problem never faced before. Thatmeans life and society have not decided to record that historyand culture. My life is an example for it. Rangavva's life too......
...... At the time I got appointed as a teacher in a villageon the Dharmapuri route, the local chiefs called 'doras' wereruling the roost. I was a teacher only by designation but inreality I was an educated tenant to the chief of the villageRajeswara Rao, doing him free service receiving a salary fromthe government. To give my position respectability. I was hispersonal secretary. My job was to follow him wherever hewent, carry his suit cases ..... nod my head to whatever hesaid..... to give two versions of the answers taking care tomake him believe that both versions were correct.... The chiefused to leave me alone when he had to attend to things whichI should not know. During those free times I used to run theschool. I used to spend time drinking toddy in toddy topes.That is the reason why no one could get any education in thatvillage. The chief also wanted it that way.
Rajeswara Rao the chief was a good man. We must call aspade a spade. He fed me with what he ate. When we went toKarimnagar on work we were put up in the same room. Whenwe went to Jagityala he never diminished my importance orrespect. Once when we caught a wild pig, he gave me twokilos of that curry and asked me to take it home. We ate thecurry for three days.
In summer the chief used to get 'neera'. My chief shouldhave a companion by him even at twelve O' clock in the might.We used to drink 'neera' munching mutton. Perhaps you donot know. In those days in the houses of the chiefs pickleswith the mutton of wild pigs, sheep and deer were prepared
and preserved. Those pickels taste fresh even after six monthsas though they were fried and cooked just then. These chutniesand pickles tasted great.
The chief had three bed rooms in his house. One was forhim and his wife. The second was a rest room for oneindividual. The third was by the side of the verandah. Whenofficials or relatives came, he would show them his respectby talking to them and sleeping in that room giving them hiscompany. That room would get converted into a bed room forofficers now and then. Unless the chief had to get importantthings done by them, that room would not be used. If thatroom was allotted to some one it meant that the chief hadarranged non-veg food, toddy and a woman for the guest.
The chief had another bed room. That was the huskstorage room in the cattle shed. Generally it was used as a bedroom during day time only. In that village there was a womancalled Rangavva. She used to visit him whenever he wantedher. She was acquianted with of all other rooms except thebedroom of his wife......
Whenever she came to meet the chief I used to leavethem alone... and go on my work. I do not know whether shefelt pity for me leaving them... or it might be love for me......I do not know. I am not sure whether the chief had an ideaabout our relationship. When I expressed fear, she would saythat the chief knew about our affair and that nothing wouldcome of it. By then I had a son. I wanted to get my wife andset up family but I was afraid that the chief may be enamouredof my wife. When the chief visited our house at Jagityala Itook every precaution to keep my wife away from his eyes.When Rangavva told me about a particular incident, my fearsgrew ten fold.
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Earlier a woman called Buchchavva used to visit the chiefas Rangavva does now. It appears Buchchavva resisted in thebeginning. He got her to his house telling her father-in-lawand mother-in-law that he had some important work. Herepeated it three or four times on different occasions. ThenBuchchavva told her people that she would live only with thechief and not with her husband. Her in-laws finally appealedto him to leave her alone. But she told her in-laws, come whatmay, she would live only as his 'keep'. She left her two sonswith her in-laws. After many years her dead body was retrivedfrom a well. Some said that the chief himself killed her. Someothers said her husband killed her and threw and body in thewell and that the chief had no need to do all that. But no oneknows the truth. How could she enjoy the comforts she hadwith the chief at her in-laws house? All of them have to sleepin the same hut. Her husband stood no comparison with thechief. Any bedroom in the chief's house gave her a lot ofcomfort and rest. What he ate and drank, the chief gave her.How could the rickety rope cot of her house give the comfortthe chief's tape cot gave? Whenever the chief called her, itwas like a joiyous festival. She used to make herself up forthe occasion. Perhaps the most memorable and the sweetestmoments in her life were those she spent with the chief.Buchchavva's husband married another woman and left thevillage. Four years later when Buchchavva died no one accusedhim. They said she might have committed suicide as her lifehad no support....
The chief used to dress in dhotis then. Rangavva lovedme as I was wearing pants and shirts and looked handsome....Rajaiah, Rangavva's husband knew about the activities of hiswife with me also. Yet he could not accuse Rangavva, me oranyone else. Rajaiah was cultivating two acres of the chief's
land by a written agreement. He behaved as though it wassomething great if she cooked food for him. Now and thenRangavva used to take home stealthily some mutton and toddyfor her husband. At times Rajaiah used to quarrel with hiswife. She then questioned him in what way she neglected him.As a matter of fact there was nothing wanting in Rangavva'sindividuality. You should believe me when I say that I learntfrom Rangavva how a man should derive pleasure from awoman.
Rangavva had a great heart. She loved the chief or me,or her husband with all her heart. If she was sent to any officershe treated him also with great love. The officers never forgother. She never, for a moment, believed that she was doingsomething wrong. She never expressed a feeling that her lifewas a waste and a disaster. She was full of enthusiasm andbehaved as though what she did was normal and natural.
There existed once a caste of prostitutes. They lived inthis manner always with some man. They used to make moneyand buy gold for their children as also some land from themen with whom they kept company. In course of time thisculture of keeping a woman as a concubire was looked downwith contempt. Now this caste is not to be found in our area.They all got merged with yellapu munnuru kapu and padmasali castes. If the women appealed to the men, their childrenwere found some employment with the patwari or the policepatel. A little land was also given to them. The chiefs knewthat the children of the women were their progeny but did notpermit the children to call them 'father'. The children shouldcall them 'dora'. If the children of the concubines had to bemarried, some poor people of some other caste used to comeforward for the alliance. The prostitutes were accepted as
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members of their caste if the women provided toddy to all themembers of their community. Now after these fifty years it isdifficult to find them out as they got merged with other castes.For some time they were called kotha kapulu and kotha saleelu.In course of time even this distination got lost.
Rangavva was not born in the prostitute caste. I will nottell you, to which caste she belonged. If it is revealed a numberof problems crop up. There were women like Rangava in allcastes. In whatever caste she was born she was as cultured asone born in the prostitute caste. I think you know the characterof Madhuravani in the play 'Kanyasulkam'. Also that you knowabout the prostitute woman called Amrapali of the Buddistmonk. These women had grown cultured in the company ofwealthy persons. They had won the love and admiration ofthe worshippers of love. But Rangavva was not educated. Shehad no talent in any art. She could only sing some folk songsmelodiously.
Lakshmi...... if you do not feel surprised. I have to tellyou that Rangavva had two children. Two others died. Sheused to live with atleast three men.... with her husband, withthe chief and with me.... she used to behave very pleasantlywith any officer to whom the chief sent her. I know all thesefacts... how nice it would have been if Rangavva had beenmy wife!... If only the society agreed.. I used to yearn greatlyto make her my second wife... But it does not mean she was abeauty. She was a little dark but glowed all over her body... Iwas very much attracted by her individuality.
Perhaps Rajaiah liked her for this reason…. That was whyhe did not go astray like his wife. Or perhaps even if he hadgone astray, he could not have got pleasure as much as from
Rangavva. To tell the truth, even the chief loved Rangavvamore than his wife. Rajeswara Rao, the chief was a dualpersonality. One side of him was the individuality to attain hisdesires cruelly as a chief. The second was to respond toproblems with a human touch. In the case of Rangavva hebehaved as a man of heart and treated her with respect.
Ratnavva, the wife of the chief was envious of the lovehe showed towards Rangavva. She used to taunt her husbandbut he ignored her taunts. If she still raised her voice he woulddeclare that half the land would be given away to Rangavvaand that she would become his second wife. Ratnavva left toher parents for sometime. Her action did not produce any resultfor Ratnavva. During that time Rangavva started acting as hiswife. Realising her folly, she returned to her husband. I do notthink that she loved me and developed a relationship withme. She came close to me only with a feeling of envy. WhenI was afraid to satisfy her, she threatened that I should imaginewhat my fate would be if she reported to her husband, mychief, that I tried to seduce her. In that way the lady of thehouse made me close to herself. I could learn within a shorttime why the chief disliked her. The lady had the same defectmy wife had. The lady took nearly two years to make herselfacceptable to her husband.
I could tell the lady a wayout but did not guess that itwould create problems to Rangavva later. The chief graduallygrew cool towards Rangavva. Perhaps a person's enthusiasmcools down after he fulfils his desire…….. The love a manhas for a woman before he realises his desire, will not be inthe same measure once he wins her favour. If the love has tosustain, a man must possess a great lot of culture of the mind.So long as a man entertains the feeling that he triumphed over
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his woman, his marriage and life with her may not runsmoothly. There is only the egoistic pleasure that he won butnot true love for the woman whom he loved. Perhaps thereason why love marriages fail is because of the fact that theman loves his triumph more than the object of his triumph -his wife. True love does not proclaim that 'I loved that woman'.If you boast that you could trap the woman it means that youloved not the girl but your talent in winning her.
That is the reason why, I think, Rajeswara Rao chief neverboasted about Rangavva. He never kept quiet if anyone spokeill of her. I too did not feel anytime that I should proclaim thatI was close to Rangavva. I used to feel that I would be insultingand dishonouring Rangavva if I boasted about my relationshipwith her. I tell this only to you about her and for the first timetoo. If love is carefully hidden in the heart how muchstimulation it gives! But the stimulation gets diluted and losesits spirit if I proclaim that this stimulation was usual and habitualwith me ………… Rajaiah loved Rangavva with all his heart……. In course of time he got deeply involved in thinking shewas one with him. He never spoke ill of her and never toleratedothers speaking ill of her.
How much Rangavva helped me in bettering my life!………. "You are not the person to live in these villages…..youare an innocent person… why don't you study well and likethe chief's brother become a teacher in the city?" Rangavvaused to ask me. I am not related to her in any way. I did nothelp her financially also. But yet she had great love for me.She had love for my wife also. She used to bring personally tomy house eats and seasonal vegetables, or she would sendthem through her husband… All this because I was teachingher son.
I used to feel bad for not being able to teach in the school.I was pained that poor children were not able to gainknowledge. But I had no courage to oppose the chief. It wasalso not possible to work in the village having been born inJagityala. Yet my spirit used to revolt. I could not reconcilemyself fully like Rangavva. After some time I got myselftransferred from that place. It was dangerous if the chief cameto know that I managed to get the shift. He would ask "what isit you lack here?" He would feel that he had been insulted…If he decided, he could get me ousted from service. I madehim believe that I was transferred because I was working therefor a long time.
I did not give up my association with the chief. He usedto take me along with him on his work. In that manner myconnection with Ratnavva also continued. When I had unionwith Rangavva I used to feel a new energy running into myveins. No one found fault with our relationships calling itprostitution. No one discussed it as a problem at all. The entirevillage behaved as if all that was very natural. That made mefeel astonished. How many illegal relationships were there inthat village! There was no one who had not an illegalconnection in that village. That is the reason why I am nottelling you the name of that village. The attitudes then weredifferent from now. The society then was different. No oneconsidered such relationships wrong.
In olden days there were not many restrictions. Until theadvent of cinemas no one attributed so much sacredness tothe mangalasutra and its greatness or to chastity and fidelity.In those days the pouranic epics were presented like stageplays. The characters indulged in jokes on sex. But of coursethey were attributed to heavenly beings, gods and goddesses.
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One day a very interesting episode took place. I cannot butlaugh remembering it. One night the play "Pramelarjuneeyam"was being presented by the wandering street players. The storyof Prameela is called Allirani story by the villages. RajeswaraRao wanted stubbornly the woman who played Allirani to besent to him in that costume. Somehow after great persuationshe was sent into his bedroom. Rajeswara Rao chief was fullydrunk and was in a stupor. Allirani also could not control herselfwith the advances made by the chief. The stage team escapedand ran away from the village the same night. The interestingpart of this episode was that the person who played the role ofAllirani was a man, a young and energetic fellow. This funnystory of the play was on the lips of the villagers for many,many years and generations. But no one talked of it in thepresence of the chief.
The chief saw to it that bus service facility was not madeavailable for the village. He prevented a road being laid. Buthe got power supply to his house and also a telephone. Hetried to stop the opening of a school but could not succeed.Perhaps he thought that the teachers will be of help to him.Now the school has grown and there are four teachers.Sangampeda Linga Reddy came into limelight on the modelof the chief. Linga Reddy had an eye on Rangavva and waswaiting for an opportunity to possess her. With the chief losingsome importance Linga Reddy tried to call for the Panchayatiagainst her. Rangavva learnt of this and went to him dressedwell. He was in his field. He did not expect that Rangavvawould yield to him so soon. He was over-joyed. After he hadsatisfied his passion she came away abusing him harshly. Doyou know what she said to him, Lakshmi? "Are you really aman? Is this all you can do? I expected a great lot of enjoymentfrom you. Linga Reddy! Heed my word. Don't think I am a
prostitute. I too have a heart. If you like me with all your heartI have no objection. If you try to arrange a Panchayati to bendme to yield to you calling me a prostitute and a whore I willurinate in your mouth. I'll make you lick my arse," threatenedRangavva. With that Linga Reddy came to his senses and hispride as the chief after Rajeswara Rao lost its sheen of authority.He acted as a cat before Rangavva. She kept up good relations
with him. But she informed to 'annas' all about him. LingaReddy committed a few other follies like this and the party
broke one of his legs and threw him out of the party.
Rangavva could not get rid of the connection with 'annalu'because of Linga Reddy. She did a lot of service to the party
and the movement. When she learnt that they wanted to doaway with his life she informed him about it. He ran away and
escaped death. Rangavva did not misuse the regard he andothers had for her. In the old chief's house, when Ratnavvahad left him and went away to her parents, Rangavva acted as
the mistress of the chief but never once proclaimed proudlythat she was the queen of the house. She behaved as a servant
maid and not as the lady of the house.
Srinivas, Rangavva's son, joined hands with 'annalu'. Iused to feel sad for him whenever I met him. If I had given
him education in the proper manner he would have studiedwell and would have got a job. He could not get educated as I
spent time drinking toddy and knocking about gossiping. Hesettled as a farm hand. After some time he started cultivating
the chief's land on lease. If he could get that land he couldovercome his problems. Why should his mother go to the
chief? His mother had go to the chief because he was wealthy.Srinivas was placed in a peculiar situation. Sometimes he felt
proud that the blood of the chief was running in his veins. For
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the same reason he used to feel depressed that his blood was
poluted. He would feel agonised that his existence was amiserable one. It is difficult to divine how deeply his mother
loved him. Srinivas did not doubt the love his mother had forhim and his father. But he was in a dilemma as to how he
should understand his mother. Time saved the situation forhim. All the chiefs convened a meeting one day and decidedto thrash all unwanted elements with the help of goondas.Rangavva had a scent of this plan and brought Srinivas to myhouse on some pretext. She requested me to keep her sonwith me for some days as he was in need of medical help.How could I lose the chance of helping Rangavva when I gotan opportunity? Srinivas came to know of the help his motherrendered him after about fifteen days. From then on he stoppedsuspecting his mother's character and her individuality. Herealised that his mother was a unique being. He decided neverto cause pain to his mother.
In order to safeguard his determination he had to changethe course of his life. The party branded his mother as aninformer and wanted him to sever his connections with hismother. How to break off with his mother who had loved himso deeply? Once he says 'no' to his mother, her heart wouldbreak. His mother had done no harm to anyone at any time.She had served the movement also. Srinivas broke downquestioning 'annalu' how they could brand her an informerhaving been fed by her and having themselves called her'mother'. As they did not change inspite of his appeals, he leftthe party remaining as a sympathiser.
Rangavva is alive. Srinivas could not face the restrictionsin the village and left it. After some time both the parents leftthe village in search of him and went round places. Not finding
him anywhere they settled down in Jagityala. Srinivas isrunning a machine shop. Rangavva celebrated his marriage. Ilearnt that Rajeswar Rao helped Rangavva financially for hismarriage and also for opening a mechanic shop. He is nowthe main partner in a big courier company. He lives in thecity. His son looks after the company. Rangavva keeps goingthere even now. His son does not like to see her there. Ratnavvatries to convince him saying Rangavva was his mother'syounger sister. She was anxious to tell him that Rangavvawas the great woman who saved him and his father, that heshould not fret and fume at her presence and treat hercontemptuously. She wants to tell him that if Rangavva feelshurt they would suffer. But her son would not understand allthese aspects. He is a man of money who believes that iftempted with money the monkey on the mountain would alsoclimb down. Ratnavva's son, Chandrakantha Rao was of thatnature. So Ratnavva could not speak her mind to her son.
Lakshmi! The world knows about men who had managedthree wives. That is an affair which is known openly to all.The man also used to feel proud that he was the husband ofthree wives and proclaimed it to all. But Rangavva neverboasted like that. Nor did she feel proud of the fact. Neitherdid she feel sorry for it. Rangavva took every defeat as hertriumph. Perhaps this statement by me is not correct. Becauseif we consider the entry of 'other' persons into her life as adefeat, I would have spoken a lie that she lived a life of chastityand respected fidelity. I feel that those who respect chastityand fidelity suffer in their lives. They take such occasions asinsults on their character. But she never felt so at any time.Who do you think helped my wife when her uterus wasremoved surgically? It was Rangavva. Rangavva is the queenof my heart even today. I am revealing my mind to you for
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the first time after so long an acquaintance. But Rangavva didnot proclaim to the world that she loved all her three husbandswhole hearteldly. She cannot say it in words. She did not sayit also.
Lakshmi! It is not just Rangavva alone… Manywomen….. loved the men that came into their lives with alltheir hearts. But their history was not recorded anywhere. Once,long ago…. Like Droupadi who lived with five husbands…such women were described as 'muthaiduvas'. Such a situationwas known as 'Aidavathanamu' in Telugu - which meant thatthe wife could manage all her five husbands satisfying everyhusband and managed the family without the husbands fallingout with each other. Some one told me about this meaning. Ifthe truth of this interpretation is to be known we have to goback to the culture of Mesopotamia and tie it down withMysamma and Pochamma* and delve deep into the IndusValley Civilisation.
I think that the concept of one man, one wife, 'our'children, chastity and fidelity came into being after the jointfamily broke up and individual families came into being.Before all this it was a culture confined to royal families andruling classes. Because in those days the idea that their ownchildren should enjoy the property and the kingdom wasprevalent . The common people did not enjoy much wealth orproperty. There were no deep aspirations also. Each communityor caste lived a life of true love and these bonds connectingthem together. It will be an insult to history to call the oldword “relationships” as prostitution and illicit living applyingthe present day definition. That was the social attitude then.
In olden days if a guest arrived, he was provided with allcomforts including the lady of the house. We should look atthose traditions through the eyes of the present day attitudes.Perhaps these traditions were followed in order to inculcatethe feeling that nothing belonged to the kings as 'mine' and'me' and to make him lead a selfless life. So in those days menperformed yagas and vratams and gave their wife as a 'dana',as a gift. But Satyabhama gave her husband Lord Sri Krishnaas 'dana' to some one else. As a matter of fact that 'dana'should have been given to a woman. In those days any personwho was called a Somayaji used to gift his wife to a man. Youknow something about our Sankranthi and Kanumu festivals.They belong to this category. The blouses of all women wereheaped at a place and the person used to have a gay time withthe owner of the blouse picked up by him. That is the festivalcalled Kanumu.
Thinking of all this we feel that the situation is far betternow. The idea of ‘woman's property’ is strong now. You havea job now. You have the freedom to choose your gender. DidRangavva enjoy the freedom to choose her gender? More thanRangavva, Ratnavva and my wife. Your life is far brighterwhen compared with them.........
Perhaps with the advent of the middle class woman whodepended on her husband's earnings, the concepts of chastityand one husband gained great value. You are now observingthe results - dowries, dowry deaths, pouring kerosene on thewoman who shared her body and heart and setting heraflame…. oh how cruel all this sounds, Lakshmi! The middleclass woman desires now her slavery and death in the nameof safety for her life.
Lakshmi! I placed before you some of my experiences. I* Local village mother goddesses.
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appeal to you not to reveal this to others as the persons aboutwhom I have told you are all alive. Do you want to meetRangavva? She lives in this place. If you want to meetRatnavva, I will take you to the city, Read their lives. Readabout the villages. Take out the history of women's libmovement. Why rack your brains about the theories of foreigncountries? You can just sit in the library here and feel that youhave known everything! that you can frighten others!
Lakshmi…. Your question is clear enough. The answeris not clear with me. It is but proper that you should decideabout your life. Your present life is far better and brighter thanthe lives of those of the earlier times. If you understand therelationship between desire, satisfaction and dissatisfaction,your question will not be a point of discussion at all. It is yourdesire that makes you move forward. When your desire getsdestroyed, you will not get destroyed. Your sex and freedomfor sexual desires will also disappear. If you suppress yourdesires they do not perish. The desire grows. Desire subsideswhen it is satisfied.
You are placed in a far better situation than me. I wasalready married by the time I developed desire. By the time Isatisfied my desire my life almost ended. You are now in a farbetter position to solve both things being in youth… whatyou told me was about the son and daughter of Rangavva.That boy is Rangavva's grandson. The C.K. Rao about whomyou spoke is Ratnavva's son, Chandrakantha Rao. That is thematter… why do you smile and walk away without sayinganything….? Keep teleporting to me now and then……."
20
EVOLUTION OF THETELANGANA VILLAGE
To
Dear Ramesh.
We discussed many things the other day till late in thenight. After you left I began to think. New thoughts came up.How trickish is life! Life thinks differently from our thoughts.Not only in my case, things happening in your life also revealhow strong and powerful are social conditions. We congratulateyou on your decision to give a new shape to your life withdetermination. We compliment you on speaking your mindwithout hesitation to think of marriage again at your age,whatever people may say. The woman who enters into yourlife at your age must be able to mix freely with the membersof your family and friends and not remain only as acompanion. This marriage should give her also a new life. Itis not difficult for cultured people like you to find a wife,particularly to men like you. But for women who lost theirhusbands it is difficult to get a man. Your decision to give tosuch a woman a place in your life reveals your understandingof life.
…………….. Before you come to a decision it is myresponsibility to give you an idea of their life style. I am placing
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before you the details you wanted as also their entire life. Ithought this was necessary for you to give deep thought, getready mentally and take a decision. I await your reply.
Yours,
Vidyadhara Rao.
• • • • • •
Ramesh garu, I will commence their story from thebeginning. His name is Ashayya. You might have seen him.He wears the dhoti above his knees and puts on a white vest.He used to walk about in fields singing songs. He would eatthe cold rice he had brought sitting under a tree, drink waterfrom the step-well and collect in his basket dried cow dungfor making cakes.
You might have seen his wife's sister Saravva also. Shewould find some excuse to go to the place where her brother-in-law takes his bath. Ashayya would not feel satisfied unlesshe dived into the barber's well under the mango tree and swimin it. When he dived into the well from above his loin clothwould fly off his body in the breeze.
"Ptch! Brother-in-law has no shyness!" Saravva wouldshout on such occasions having seen his nakedness "I lost allshyness when my mother washed my bottom when I was alittle boy", he would say and dive again into the well.
He would make fun of her saying "What else will she do,one who cannot swim?" Saravva had a lot of self-respect andpride. "Is it only you who could swim? I learnt it long ago"she would say, tie up her short skirt above her knees and jumpinto the step-well. Her skirt would open up like an umberellaand expose her thighs which had no undergarment.
"What happened to your shyness, you girl…." Asayya
would say clapping. "My shyness too left me when I was achild" she would say, dive into the water, pinch his thigh andrun away. She would then fill her mouth with water and sprayit on him. He would then splash water on her with his hands.Those who had gone to the well for a bath would look at thetwo and laugh at them. Then Saravva would quietly leave theplace with an innocent face.
As they grew in age their hearts came closer but thedistance increased physically between them. Saravva hesitatedlonely meetings with him. But in the company of others shefreely indulged in her tricks. She could not compete with himin studies and stopped at the seventh class. Her responsibilitiesat home increased putting an end to her studies. Ashayyacontinued his studies while doing all the work he had toperform. He too had his problems and his studies stoppednow and then but started again.
Ashayya's father was working as a farm hand with thePatel Ram Reddy. When Ashayya went to the Patel's housealong with his father, the young man was entrusted with somework. The Patel did not like Ashayya to be the classmate ofhis daughter Malathi in the school. He tried to stop away thestudies of Ashayya in the fifth class and take him into hiswork to take care of his cattle. But his father was keen oneducating his son.
When Ashayya came up to the ninth class he had to stophis studies. One year passed and Ashayya pestered his parentssaying he would study. He was afraid that his studies wouldnot progress if he continued to live in the village. He collectedhis caste certificate, went to the taluq centre and got admittedin the social welfare hostel. He fell one year behind Malathi instudies.
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Ashayya passed the tenth class in the supplementary examand joined the Intermediate course. By then Malathi was aheadof him by two years. His friends too had failed twice and joinedhim in the college which gave him some consolation.
As Ashayya failed in the Inter exams. Saravva's fatherPochalu suggested that he should marry and Ashayya likedthe idea very much. But his father opposed it saying he cannotfeed two mouths. Ashayya got disappointed but managed topass Intermediate and got admitted in the degree college. Bythen Malathi completed her degree course.
Ashayya used to meet Malathi to take old books fromher. Patel Ram Reddy did not like Ashayya meeting hisdaughter. So Ashayya went to the Patel's house in his absence.Malathi entertained mischievous thoughts and wanted to teaseAshayya when they were alone and did so with his body andmind in the presence of Saravva.
Since their childhood Malathi had no respect for Ashayya.She looked down on him as the son of their farm hand. Shelearnt swimming from Ashayya saying that Saravva wasteaching her how to swim. In the presence of Saravva Malathiused to treat Ashayya as the son of their farm hand.
Though Ashayya was his nephew. Saravva's fatherPochaiah tried to find a groom for his daughter. Her fatherwas worried that if Ashayya refused to marry Saravva for somereason after his education. where will he find a groom for hisgrown up girl? But Saravva kept refusing the matches thatcame her way. "Will you marry Ashayya?" her relatives askedher and she twisted her month.
"Is he only the one available for me to marry? He has noshyness and no manners. He bathes in the presence of womenwithout his shirt on. He does not bother to turn aside when
women pass him by as he answers his calls of nature. He doesthe same when he pisses. He has other habits which I cannotappreciate. I will not marry such a man "she would tell herrelatives".
Ashayya had Saravva in his thoughts from his boyhood.When she collected her skirt or saree up her knee and got intowork, men also could not match her. She was well-built andgood looking. Once Ashayya pulled her by hand when therewas none around. She twisted her mouth, looked daggers athim and left the place in a huff. Ashayya was afraid that shewould report it to his parents. But she did not reveal it toanyone. Nor did she stop acting as the go-between betweenAshayya and Malathi.
Once the three went to the fields. Saravva left them bothunder a tree and went away. Malathi treated Ashayya withcontempt and he got confused and felt shy. She later had herway with him at home when alone and started playing withhim as she liked.
Saravva who should have been Ashayya's wife, acted asthe go-between and guarded them from taunts from others.She did not reveal to anyone her agony as she was growing inage. She was given in marriage to a stranger. She neitherrejected or accepted the offer. She was married to oneVenkataiah who was in a similar situation like Saravva.
Ashayya continued his studies. Saravva had two children.Alliances were being considered for Malathi. In the meanwhileshe completed M.A. and also B.Ed.,
Ashayya got involved in student union activities. Hecould manage to get into different courses for the sake ofscholarship. He was worried that his time was being wasted instudent union activities when he was inclined to study well.
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But the temptation of the respect student politics gave himcould not keep him away from such activities.
His marriage with Lakshmi was celebrated in the year hesecured a job. Malathi also secured a job and she too gotmarried. Her husband Raja Reddy was a Sub-Inspector ofpolice
Malathi's father Ram Reddy left his village and settleddown in the taluk headquarters. His son, Malathi's brother,was made a toddy contractor as he went on failing in hisintermediate. Saravva's husband stopped going to his wife. Itwas said he joined the Naxals.
On the plea of searching for Venkataiah, Raja Reddy rapedSaravva along with other constables. This action created panicin the village. Saravva took her children away to her mother'splace.
Malathi could not reconcile to the fact that her husbandraped Saravva. Her reaction turned mechanical towards him.He symbolised a blood-stained sickle. His strong grip madeher feel she was herself being raped. The feeling continued.Whenever she remembered the days she spent with Ashayyain her early life freely and happily, she felt she had lostsomething now.
Saravva and Ashayya visited Malathi's house learningthat Raja Reddy had arrested Venkataiah. Raja Reddy feltinconvenient when he learnt that his wife Malathi and Saravvawere friends. But he could not help as he said the case hadgone to the superiors. Venkataiah was jailed. Malathi couldonly see that Venkataiah was not snuffed out.
Raja Reddy wanted Malathi to give up her job but sherefused. Ashayya was encouraging his wife Lakshmi to pass
exams and work. Ashayya wanted Saravva also to study andshe would say it was not possible with her children and hercoolie work. "Educated as you are, if you had married me. Iwouldn't have faced these difficulties," she would say with asad smile.
He was tempted to ask her whether she would agree tolive with him but kept quiet as her husband was a naxalite.She could understand the feelings of Ashayya and wouldanswer him with her eyes. "Even if we live together. I wouldnot be your wife. Why think of it then?" she would ask.
Malathi who went to her brother's house for delivery sentfor Ashayya. Ram Reddy, her father, was not that haughtynow but had not lost his foxy looks. He would talk nicely toAshayya. "I will sell two acres of my land. Why don't youbuy them?" he would ask smiling. Ashayya could not guesswhat the words meant. The old man would again say "It willhelp your younger brother to live happily." Ashayya's brotherstopped his studies with ninth class and settled as a mason.Saravva's younger sister was given in marriage to him.Narayana was able to live a decent life of course. Though thesuggestion made by Ram Reddy was good the Naxals wereobstructing buying or selling the land. Ashayya was happy atthe prospect of making a part of the land their own which wastaken care of by his father throughout his life. If only thetransaction took place he would get the satisfaction of havingbought Ram Reddy himself. But he was not sure what sharehe would get out of it and he postponed the entire issue notwilling to get involved with the naxalites.
Malathi opened up her heart to Ashayya when there wasno one around. "I want to divorce my husband. I can't get onwith him any longer." Ashayya was shocked beyond words.
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Would she ask him to marry her? Who would invite problemsfrom the police? If he married her will not Raja Reddy shoothim down as he would a bird and call it an 'encounter'? Whatabout Malathi's child to be born? What about his life? Whatabout the society? Ashayya was very much confused andworried.
Malathi looked directly into Ashayya's eyes. She missedthe innocence of the earlier times in his eyes. She saw theman in him now. In earlier days she did not find that qualityin him. She loved the womanliness in him. In those days shewas the manly woman. He was the woman. That was theirrelationship then. Now she did not see the woman she wantedin his eyes. He was now a man like all men. His job and hisexperience in life gave him back self-confidence which hiscaste had usurped. Now he is a manly man. Malathi could noteasily accept this change in him. What she had desired fromAshayya was not this manliness. He was no longer the Ashayyaof the olden days. She decided that she did not need him anylonger. But her heart had given way and the words blurtedout.
"Why do you think so? Though your husband draws alittle less salary than you, he enjoys a better status in life thanyou. Money is in plenty, comfort is great." He thought thather husband was stronger than himself but did not express it.But he stressed the last part of his sentence spoken by him.
"Do you think Saravva enjoyed being raped by him? Wasit happiness?" Malathi shouted forgetting herself and her desireto change the topic.
Ashayya startled at Malathi's outburst and looked roundwondering whether anyone was near them. He tried to consoleher but she broke down sobbing when he tried to pacify her.
"Ashayya, I want to call you again 'arai'. I feel that I shouldhave my Asigadu of the earlier times. I thought then of usingyou for my purpose but now I realise that it was true love. Mycaste did not permit me to say this to you in those days. Canyou become again my Asiga of olden days? I will keep awayfrom my husband or I will try to adjust some how for yoursake. I want to give birth to your son. I want my Asigadu ofthe past. I want those happy and mischievous experiences."
Asigadu experienced passion as well as fear. He sweated.Her remembered the injustice he did to Saravva while heenjoyed life with Malathi. He wondered how much Saravvamust have suffered without support from him while Malathiwho had everything was herself feeling disappointed andexperiencing sorrow. He had done great wrong to Saravva inhis innocence and half knowledge. Did he get attracted byMalathi's caste? Did he yield because of her status and job?Or did he love Malathi truly? If he loved Malathi with all hisheart, what about Saravva? Ashayya fell into depression andagony again.
"Why did you come to this conclusion at all? Perhaps itmay give happiness if one recollected past actions as merememories of the days of innocence" said Ashayya who hadreconciled himself to circumstances.
"Shall I tell you the truth? In the early days of marriage Iused to see you in him. I even thought that you were him. Buthe could not replace you. His individuality was of a differentkind. I do not see you in him any longer. Hearing about thetortures he subjected those in the police lock-up, I was afraidthat he would put me also to similar torture if he knew aboutus. On hearing his sexual assaults on women I felt he was adog that relished leftovers. I also felt that my body had lost its
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sanctity because of his promiscuity. Whenever we had unionall his women used to be recollected by me. I felt I was alsobeing raped. As a matter of fact those few minutes with himare happy moments indeed. But the feeling does not last long.I cannot live with him."
Ashayya began to wonder for the first time how he wouldfeel if his wife Lakshmi had pre-marital relationship with othermen just as Malathi had with him. That thought made him feelconfused and worried. He realised that his entertaining hopeson Saravva and Malathi was wrong.
Was his latest thinking messed up? He was thinking thathe had done wrong only to feel that his wife was chaste. If heaccepted that his wife too might have had similar love affairslike him, then he had done no wrong. His present craving wasnot also wrong. Was anyone taking a dig at him? Was heseeking their bodies in the name of love?
He was not being deceived by his mind. His heart knewthat he was loving all the three. But will the society acceptthis? Will he be able to believe or accept the idea if Lakshmi,his wife, tells him that she was in love with three men withequal passion like Droupadi? If he believed in her words canhe accept her as his wife?
Malathi was delivered of her daughter. She stayed on inher mother's house giving some execuses. Ram Reddy waspestering Ashayya to buy his land, but his brother Narayanawas with the naxalites. Ashayya took up the propagation ofAmbedkar Associations. His wife Lakshmi was working in aprivate school.
The raids of the police on the house of Saravvacommenced with the release of Venkataiah from the jail.Venkataiah gradually distanced himself from the party. Saravva
shivered at the sight of the police recollecting the tortures andrape by them. She said that they should leave the village andVenkataiah agreed. After they took shelter in the Taluka centre,Raja Reddy located them. Saravva yielded to him. But whenhe lost face among the police personnel for Saravva being hismistress, he left her. Venkataiah was happy at Raja Reddy'sriddance but a head-constable who had taken part in the rapestarted black-mailing them. Venkataiah used to flee from hishouse when the constable visited the house, afraid of his lifeand the tortures. Saravva's life became one of extreme miseryas another policeman also joined the head constable. Theytook her to many places and closed the doors on her withstrangers inside. Not able to face these atrocities she threwher children into a well and jumped into it herself. The childrendied but she survived. She was put in the jail after sherecovered.
In the jail, a woman naxalite and a killer woman whohad murdered her husband not being able to undergo thetorture of her in-laws, were her companions. Venkataiah didnot try to obtain bail for his wife. He did not realise that hiswife had to suffer because of him. On the other hand he startedblaming her saying that she had two children by Ashayyabefore her marriage with him.
Saravva grew numb hearing the accusation. The twoother inmates of the jail tried to console her. She had lovedVenkataiah with all her heart. Sharada, the naxalite prisonerrevealed that she was arrested and jailed because she refusedthe advances of a particular person. She wanted that the threeof them should join the party and see the end of that person,without being afraid of men whoever they were.
Suseela who killed her husband, laughed at Sharada's
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narration of the torture by the police. The torture she hadundergone at the hands of her in-laws were worse. If an enemyhits us, we become stone-hearted and forget the beatings. Ifthe man to whom one has given one's heart beats, the heartgets hurt. The enemy can only torture the body but not theheart. But the situation is different when it is the man himselfto whom one has given the heart. To Sharada this revelationsounded strange as she had been brought up with great love.Saravva reacted with a sad smile as she had known both kindsof torture.
Ashayya tried to bail out Saravva on the advice of hisfriends. "What should I do coming out of the jail?" askedSarvva point blank.
Saravva was all alone in the world now Her husband,whom she loved with loyalty, destroyed her life. She had killedher children to whom she had given birth. She had no supportanywhere. The more Ashayya tried to console her, the moreshe cried.
"It is education that distanced you from me. If you hadgiven up studies, we would have married. If I had been a littleeducated, we would have been married. If I had been educatedwould you have been attracted towards Malathi?" sobbedSaravva.
It was not clear to Ashayya whether his closeness withMalathi was because of education. Or was it only Saravva'sassessment? He asked Saravva to write to him now and thenand left some money in her account in the jail.
Saravva told him that she would study in the jail.
Her jailmates complimented Saravva for her question.They thought that Ashayya might have planned a love affairwith her as he had asked her to stay with Malathi.
Raja Reddy decided to marry again after divorcingMalathi. Malathi wanted to meet the girl who was going tomarry Raja Reddy. If she met the bride, naturally she mightspeak out the truth about her husband and thus destroy thegirl's happiness. She dismissed the idea of attending themarriage also for it may create problems in the marriage pandal.
The past will have its influence on our lives withoutreference to the present. The past of Saravva was hauntingher present. Ram Reddy had thought that he could commandhis future but his past was haunting him now. He was not in aposition to guide his son or daughter to lead a particular kindof life. He now became a refugee, living here and there,avoiding the naxals. His son was doing toddy business andhe was afraid that he would be attacked if his father was withhim. He saw to it that his father did not stay with him byinventing stories. Ram Reddy was afraid of Narayana,Ashayya's younger brother. The old man had distributeddreams thinking that Narayana joined the naxals to takerevenge on him.
But Narayana did not create problems for Ram Reddyand lived away from him. After he left the naxals he had totake part in politics as his relations on both sides did not allowhim to remain idle. He got elected as a sarpanch. The partydid not like it. Narayana wanted to break the family history ofRam Reddy becoming Sarpanchs one after the other. His pastgood record, even with the naxals, helped Narayana. But thepast of Venkataiah made him run away to Arab countries. But,the past of Saravva branded her as a prostitute in the present.
Ashayya was pained at Malathi's lonely life with herdaughter, though she was economically independent. He feltguilty that because of him she had to lead such a life. But in
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the case of Saravva, the society punished her cruelly andtortured her for mistakes she had not committed.
Just as he washed himself clean of his caste to someextent, could he not clean the consequences which resultedfrom his caste? Narayana, his brother, could mould his past tofavour him in the present. Could it be possible for Saravva tobring about such a change? Was it possible for him also toachieve it?
A life devoid of the quality of forgiveness turns a maninto a mean person and makes him cruel. A society that cannotforgive a person who had converted himself into a pious manhaving been burnished with the flame of repentance and wantsto lead a new life, is a cruel society. If the society acts in theopposite way the person would feel that repenting itself wasbad. There are no new lives available somewhere for man.Forgiveness and repentance create new lives. If there is achance for those who erred in life knowingly or unknowinglyto start a new life, the people and the society and humanrelations grow to great heights of human glory. Saravva,Sharada and Suseela will lead a glorious life of rebirth if thesociety gives them a chance to reconstruct their lives? Howmany men come forward to help their lives. How many mencome forward to help them achieve their goal? It is easy totalk of ideals. When it comes to putting in practice personallythe ideals, their gilt covered lives will be exposed. For thethree women mentioned above an idle life of gossip and easyfood was quite new. The jail appeared to them like paradise. Itwas a life of glorious achievement for them. Who knows howmuch the jail life changed and moulded their individualityand personalities? Perhaps a wonderful chapter of a new societywas being written by them in the book of their lives in the jail.
Ashayya's new experiences were of a different nature.Saravva, Sharada and Suseela had to win back their lives. ButAshayya was feeling dissatisfied with the life he had won andwhat he had achieved. As he toured places establishingAmbedkar Associations and agencies to fight for citizens'rights, he was subjected to dejection and disappointment. Hefelt that the people around him lived a life which did not belongto them just as his own life was not the one that belonged tohim. People were craving for a new life. What were the forcesthat were obstructing the chances to the society to improve –was it selfishness? caste? economics? A culture that did notlike change? or the habits to which lives had got used to? Wasit the governmental machine? Was it the party in power andbureaucracy? Or did all these work together? It was aconfusing picture for him.
How happy was childhood! How exciting was the periodof boyhood when nothing was known with any clarity! Willhappiness evaporate as experience grows? Knowledge ofthings does not allow the enjoyment of happiness. It growsinto ego and haunts a person like a shadow. A little knowledgecreates ambition as big as a mountain. Ambition changes intodisappointment and creates dejection. Disappointment whichdenies ambition, makes life heavy, as heavy as a mountain. Itshrinks and converts the youthful stimulation into old age blues.For dalit women like Saravva the karma theory gave themonly unqualified disappointment. For higher castes it gavehopeful disappointment. Ashayya got into the second categoryof people. The life of Saravva and Suseela in the jail providedthem with disappointment which had no hope. The sap in theirlives got dried up lacking the fertile soil called forgivenessand mercy and ended up their lives in a dry sand bed.
Despair is like a woman in advanced pregnancy. One
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should know how to enjoy the experience even in despondencylike a pregnant woman. It gives birth to a new life. It givesrise to new happiness. Hope is an imigination. Hope isbeautiful. Disappointment is a fact. Disappointment proceedstowards imagination from fact and reveals how imaginationcannot be accepted as a fact. Hope reveals the path for theforward movement. Disappointment reveals the distance ofthe goal. Hope reveals the aim or target to be reached.Disappointment reveals the condition of the inability to reachthe target. Disappointment removes the haughtiness involvedin reaching the target. It commences the ideal of higher targetof life again. The three women discussed among themselvesmany such propositions……… haven't many books thatenlighten minds been written from jails by prisoners! It is onlyin a jail one finds the time, concentration and freedom to delvedeep into the layers of society, the three women thought.Ashayya did not know that the three women were thinkingover matters in the jail which he was himself thinking by beingin the outside world. The court disappointed Saravva's desireto live a free and happy life in the jail by releasing her forwant of evidence. Sharada also was bailed out by someunknown members of her party, by standing surety. She toomoved into the common flow of life. Suseela who first rejectedthe surety offered by her father accepted it and came out ofthe jail.
The three women had made an accord that they shouldlive together once they came out of the jail. They wanted towork as a team.having faced the bossism of men, they wantedto establish a women's association. They wanted to dedicatethemselves to the society creating a new awareness like theBuddist bikhus of the olden days. But once they came out,their pious resolutions could not be put into practice. Saravva
and Suseela went back to their lives. Though they had said'yes' to Sharada in the jail to her proposal while in confinement,they realised soon that their typical love of life will not leavethem free so quickly.
Saravva who wanted to put an end to her life by jumpinginto a well was now a changed woman. The influence ofSharada made Saravva to join the 'dalam' and die again for it.She felt that it was far better to die for a cause than just die fornothing. But now she differed from the very idea of dying –cause or no cause. Why she should die at all. Hope-disappointment - target - goal - the discussion on these andhigher values made her love life than love death.
Those who have been defeated in life may get ready todie with a feeling of scorn and a feeling of self sacrifice. Ifnew hopes and aims assure the winning back of life - then dosuch people love life having decided to die or do they lovedeath in the form of disappointment and indifference? Do thepeople belong to this stage - those who come prepared tosacrifice their life, work for some time and then leave. If thatis the case will people retreat from the 'dalam' once therestrictions are removed? Will not this recruitment go on ifthere are no restrictions? Sharada started entertaining thesedoubts after she met Saravva and Suseela. She put before theparty her doubts hesitatingly. They laughed her doubts awayand wanted to know whether she too wanted to leave themand lead her life like Saravva and Suseela. She was hurt to thequick when they ridiculed her. She realised that there wouldbe peace and respect if some ideas were not spoken out. Soshe took to silence. But she knew that there was some truthhidden in Saravva's contention.
Saravva started thinking of her future life as if moving
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from her in-laws, village to her sister's, then to Malathi's, andlater to Suseela's and to Ashayya's houses. Why should notwomen lead the life of a Buddist bickshus and Sanyasinswithout hopes and disappiontments, without marriage andchildren? Ashayya said that if women turn into Buddistbikshus mankind will perish. Was not this argument defective?Why should women marry? Why should they give birth tochildren? Why should they give joy to men? What the societyneeds now is the new Buddist revolution as Ambedkar haddeclared. Ashayya agreed with this contention along withMalathi. But he differed from their idea that this revolutionwas possible through the association of women Buddist bikhus,from the angle of women's liberation movement. When theysaid that he would have known what it was if he had beenborn a woman, he bowed his head with a smile accepting hisdefeat. So these two women took Suseela in Ashayya's place.The threesome used to meet and discuss among themselvesdifferent aspects and points. Those questions drew Ashayyaalso into the discussion.
But now why should they be living at all? Malathi has tolive looking after her daughter. They two do not have thatopportunity now. Anyway what does life mean? Do what theyknow is life? Should women's life be like theirs in general? Inthe jail they created for themselves a new society, a new life.How good it would be if they could commence their noblelife in the present society?
"Then we have to leave the old known society andcommence an unknown new society at a different place. Howis it possible for a woman like me who has a job? I will losemy service seniority. The financial problems will pull us downin the new place. It is difficult to earn such a decent salary ina new place, explained Malathi. "It is a wonderful chance for
women like you who do not have a secure life," concludedMalathi.
"Why should I enter into a new society at all? That iswhat Sharada also said - about going into a new society calledthe party and changing the old society into the new one. Ioppose this. Why should I go into a new society? Why shouldwe not try to change the same society by leading a new lifebeing in the old society? Why should not the society changein this manner? I do not know how the new society will accepta woman like me who has none to support her," said Saravva.
"If we had commenced our new life from our childhooditself, I wonder how it would have shaped itself," philosophisedAshayya.
"Then would you have married Saravva or Malathi?"asked Suseela a direct question.
Ashayya got confused. The difficulties of the past lookbeautiful when remembered. If they face the same difficultiesagain - "I don't want those difficulties. I don't want thatchildhood" that is what many would say. Saravva smiled atAshayya. Saravva there, Malathi here and then Lakshmi -Ashayya was not able to decide and felt confused. Saravvalaughed heartly at his discomfiture. She laughed and laughed."Even if we start afresh from our childhood, our lives will beno different". Malathi said in all seriousness.
"Why do you say so?" asked Ashayya is surprise. Hewas happy that the question whom he would have marriedgot side- stepped. Malathi observed this and said, "becausethis society has not changed we cannot but play our parts. Inthe society in which we live in the present circumstances noneof us can act differently. It is impossible. For example if youhad married Saravva, in the family struggle you would not
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have been able to continue your studies. Even if I had elopedwith you, your studies would have got terminated. You wouldhave sold all my jewels and finally would have accused mesaying I had brought you all the problems. You would havebeen doing some odd jobs," said Malathi.
One day Saravva went to meet Malathi and saw Ashayyathere. She thought that she had gone there at the wrong timeand turned back. Malathi observed this and brought backSaravva scolding her that she should not have suspected her.Malathi managed the situation with skill and the three got intothe old spirit. They joked on old memories. Suseela joinedthem a little later.
"Whatever you say, don't you agree that I sacrificed ingiving you away my bava!" said Saravva smiling but in allseriousness.
The feeling that she sacrificed her life for bava and Malathikept her going as an optimist. Malathi could not guess thatSaravva's life would collapse if she knew that it was not true.
"Your caste and your economic condition did not permityou to pursue your studies. My caste did not allow me to elopewith Ashayya. It was his education that brought you and meclose to him and also distanced us. If your bava had not beenso highly educated and grown in status, you would not haveloved him so dearly. Even if you had loved him, you wouldhave forgotten him as you could forget Venkataiah. Perhaps Itoo. Ashayya's education and his job made us love him dearlyand created a great problem for us. You had to sacrifice bavaonly because of the caste in which you were born. It was asocial evil and necessity. The part played by your sacrifice inthis case is very little. Even if you had not been there, bytaking the help of some other woman, I would have loved
your bava - think of it," concluded Malathi.
Saravva felt depressed with this contention. She faintedsuddenly. She could not stand the theory explained by Malathiwhich at one harsh stroke uprooted the tree of her love. Malathirealised late that whether rightly or wrongly the feeling thatshe sacrificed herself for them both was keeping up Saravva'sspirits. Suseela was shocked that Sharada's theory of sacrificewhich gave new life to them should have been shattered inSaravva's case.
Faith is stronger than facts. Ashayya wondered thatSaravva had such a delicate heart, who externally appearedstubborn. It was her self respect that was keeping her alivethough Saravva lost everything in life. Malathi destroyed thatself-respect. Saravva suffered from pain in the stomachsuddenly again.
She recovered after a week but could not smile happilyas before. She could not look directly into Malathi's eyes.Malathi did not reveal to Saravva the information the ladydoctor gave that there was some problem with the uterus ofSaravva. The doctor expressed fear that it might turn out intocancer. Saravva herself noticed that the white discharge whichstarted in the jail was showing up as pain in the stomach whichwas growing. Saravva's old ideals and the old plans wereblown away as in a storm. Though Malathi did not treat her asa servant maid, that was her position Saravva enjoyed in herhouse. She held on till she mastered tailoring and Saravva leftfor the place of her birth, to her sister whose husband was theSarpanch.
Saravva lived carrying on the job of a tailor, playing andsinging with the children forgetting her past. In the meanwhileshe was selected as an Anganwadi teacher. Her life got settled
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now and she started doing justice to her job as also to herprofession of tailoring.
Suseela wrote to Saravva that a match was suggested forher and that the man had three children and had undergonevascetomy. Saravva met Suseela. Next day Sharada suddenlymade her appearance there. The three had a nice time in thehouse of Suseela's relatives. Sharada told them that she hadcome there for some treatment. Her face was glowing and shelooked healthy though she had thinned a little.
• • •
"Did you marry again?" asked Saravva. Malathi wonderedhow she could guess the possibility. She nodded in theaffirmative with a smile. "I think he is a good man. What moredo you want if you get a husband, who accepts your word? Ishe highly educated and cultured?" asked Suseelacomplimenting Malathi.
"He is not an educated man. He belongs to the family ofgonds. But as you said he obeys his wife and what else iswanted? He has a good heart but the heart cannot speak.....By the by, shall I find a good husband for you also?" askedSharada laughing heartily.
Saravva and Suseela kept silent for a few momentsSharada changed the topic and fell into gossip. "The partyalso felt unhappy for the injustice you suffered after I toldthem," said Sharada.
"Sharada, don't you know I cannot go in for collegeeducation like you? Our elders say we should search wherewe lost. I lost my life in my caste and village where I was bornand bred. I will win back my life there," said Saravva.
"So you want to say that you would be called the Mother
Theresa of your place."
"Don't compare me with such great personalities. Malathitold me that the post of the Sarpanch of our village is beingreserved for women. 'Why don't you win the favour and loveof the people? she asked. I am giving thought to it.”
"You may win the hearts of the people and secure a job.But can you find a new husband?"
"My mind got disgusted with that thought. What littlehopes I had, Malathi shattered them by telling facts. I am nowliving comfortably. People respect me and my life forgettingthe past. I have nothing to do with forests and other places.Becuase I am trying to be the winner where I lost. You havelost nothing in your life. If you have any problems like thatlive with your friends and relatives in the same place like meand win back your life. I don't find a greater revolution thanthis including life. Because of your mercy, you know that Iam no longer a coward."
Sharada could not keep up an argument with Saravvawho was by far older than her. She knew the difficultiresSaravva had gone through in life and the tears. There must bean iota of truth in her decision. Such was the respect she hadfor Saravva.
They were in conversation and suddenly Saravva twistedwith severe pain in the stomach. She was taken to the doctorand after resting for a week Suseela took Saravva to Malathi'shouse and left her there. Four days later Sharada left.
Ashayya shed tears at Saravva's condition. Lakshmi,Ashayya's wife, invited Saravva to stay with them. "Let yourregard for me remain so," said Saravva with tears in her eyes,though with a smile. "Elope with your bava, sister, I won't
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misunderstand you" joked Lakshmi to make light theatmosphere. 'Shall we really elope,' Ashayya said for fun. Hiseyes were moist with tears.
Malathi objected Ashayya's words. "Even if she has nohusband and manly help she is happy with her individuality.She has proved how a woman can stand on her own legs andhow we can triumph in our lives. Why do you talk as thoughwe need your companionship and your support, as though awoman cannot live without male company.... why do you saythat you could elope now? Do you want to pull us down withyour male superiority?" asked Malathi smiling.
Saravva looked at Malathi appreciatingly at her words.Suddenly Saravva fell unconscious with her pain in herstomach. When she regained her conciousness, she tookAshayya close to her wishpering 'come to me once, bava,'and kissed him with all her heart shedding tears of joy.
"When you are all supporting me, what more do I want?This is enough for my life" she said folding her hands lookingat them all.
• • •
Saravva's uterus was surgically removed and her life tooka fresh start. In course of time there was a change in her nameand surname. Now she is called 'Sarpanch Sarekka' with greatlove.
• • •
Ramesh garu! The Ashayya of this story is myself. If youmarry Saravva you will be setting an ideal example for many.Saravva can take care of your children as her own children. Ifyou marry Malathi she will quickly get adjusted to your life.If you marry Suseela, you would have made known that allmen are not bad. Even though they had faced problems andhad their experiences, their hearts are as clear as a white cloth.If you marry anyone of them you would have made their livesalso blossom forth. Myself and they await your decision.
21
THE NEEM TREE
Maisaiah was very happy that Rajeswara Rao, VenkataRao’s younger son, had remembered him. But at the sametime the memory of the earlier experiences and the pastincidents made him feel pained.
Maisaiah got up twice from the cot on which he was sittingunder the shade of the neem tree to meet Rajeswara Rao butsatdown. Why should he go and see Rajeswara Rao? Perhapshe remembered them all only to show off how much he hadgrown in importance! Maisaiah was overcome with impatience,anger and pain! An agriculturist, Rajeswara Rao, left offagriculture and went to the city to study. He grew up thereand as though the city was not the place for him, went toAmerica. There he became a crorepathy. As for himself,Maisaiah could not give up agriculture nor could he prosperand grow. His growth remained limited like the tail of the goatwhich remained short all its life.
But again his conscience told him that nothing was wrongin meeting him. Rajeswara Rao came back to his native placeafter twenty years. Earlier when he came many years ago toIndia he went away without visiting his village. Poor RajeswaraRao! Will there be time for him to remember all his oldexperiences and memories! It was only his own foolishness.With that, Maisaiah got up finally to meet Rajeswara Rao.
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Rajeswara Rao had come from America twenty days ago.He had come to Jagityala two days ago to meet the people ofhis village. The previous day he had visited the village duringdaytime from Jagityala. He met everyone calling them all byname. He was happy that the twenty year old primary schoolhad become a high school three years ago. He went to theschool and met the teachers and the students greeting thempersonally.
The teachers and students of the high school developedclose contact with Rajeswara Rao during the three years. Itwas Rajeswara Rao who gave the donation needed to the schoolto get it upgraded into a high school. He also instituted meritscholarships to three students who scored the highest marksat the SSC examination and had been giving them the amountfor the last three years. He was keeping track of the prizewinners as to what they were doing now and was enquiringabout the welfare of their parents. He remembered again andagain Maisaiah as the father of Mahesh, one of the meritstudents. Rajeswara Rao announced a fresh donation to theschool and paid it on the spot. He promised to get fans fixedin the government social welfare hostel. The headmasterAnjaneyulu and the hostel warden Sugunakar expressed theirgratitude to Rajeswara Rao. These two met Maisaiahpersonally and told him that Rajeswara Rao wanted to seehim. Maisaiah was happy that Rajeswara Rao came to knowthat his son stood school-first in the S.S.C. exam. He felt proudat his son’s achievement.
Throughout the journey by bus, Maisaiah’s mindentertained only thoughts of Rajeswara Rao. With a newawareness of old instances, Maisaiah was reconstructing inhis mind Rajeswara Rao’s present position as a philanthropist
and its import. He came to the conclusion that owing to somemistake on his part his thoughts of the past had taken a wrongturn, or else Rajeswara Rao was a good man. Maisaiah triedto forget the ugly aspects of the old times and concentratedon the present good in Rajeswara Rao. If the mistakes of thepast are corrected with good deeds in the present why wouldanyone point out the old mistakes, thought Maisaiah. Will notpeople remember only the good deeds! Maisaiah was thinkingin this manner with hope about happy times to come by.
• • •
Rajeswara Rao had great consideration for Maisaiah whowas the general handy man in their house when he was young.He brought a pair of dhotis and shirt cloth for him speciallyfrom Hyderabad.
Rajeswara Rao was shocked to see Maisaiah from adistance. Maisaiah was three years younger than himself butlooked twenty years older, he had blackened and wrinkled.He recognized him quickly, walked a few steps and held hishands smiling. He hugged Maisaiah. This gesture wasunexpected by Maisaiah. He was overcome by immense joyand happiness. Those who were standing by were moved totears.
Rajeswara Rao was now a reputed doctor in America.When he was young he was called the ‘little master’ in hisvillage. Now he did not like to be called ‘master’ at all. Maisaiahfelt it strange when people called Rajeswara Rao ‘doctor saab'!In the meanwhile headmaster Anjaneyulu and wardenSugunakar came there. Rajeswara Rao handed them thecheques he had promised them the previous day. The doctorasked these two to sit for a while and talked to Maisaiah.
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The headmaster and the warden signalled to Maisaiahsuggesting that he should ask the doctor some gift. Maisaiahtoo had such a thought in his mind. He thought of making hisrequest after a while.
Maisaiah’s elder son failed in the SSC exam and waslooking after agriculture. The second boy passed theIntermediate. The daughter's marriage had been celebrated.The son-in-law was in Soudhi Arabia.
“Sir!” said Maisaiah clearing his throat. “Doctor saab!My first son failed in the tenth class. The second boy passedIntermediate and is idle at home.”
“Why is he idle having passed Inter? You can get himeducated further. There are many hostels. Boys are givenscholarship”, explained Rajeswara Rao.
Maisaiah was wondering how he should put the objectionof his first son who was against his brother studyingengineering while he was looking after the lands andagriculture. Sugunakar the warden gave the information toRajeswara Rao. The doctor was surprised that there existedsuch jealousy between the brothers.
“If the younger brother pursues his studies, will not theelder brother too get a name and receive some help also?”said Rajeswara Rao. Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar felt happythat if the younger brother was an engineer the elder brotherwill look after agriculture full time. Mahesh was their dearstudent!
“If he is sent for long term coaching Mahesh will certainlyget a seat in engineering, sir! There are good coaching centresat Vijayawada, Guntur, Ongole and Nellore. Maisaiah is notsending his son to one of these centres,” informed Anjaneyulu.
“How is all that possible for me, doctor saab” saidMaisaiah nodding his head. He was afraid that if he mortgagedhis land and the boy did not get a seat he would be at a loss asto what to do.
Rajeswara Rao was very much moved at the plight of anintelligent student staying put in life not being able to competewith money. The coaching charges may not exceed thirtythousand rupees. In dollars it will be only eight hundred. Howmuch money he has not been spending! With eight hundreddollars a young student's life will reach the highest pinnaclesof glory, rising from the backwardness of thousands of years!He should not lose the opportunity of helping Maisaiah’s son.He decided that the help he extended should not make a denton their self-respect.
“Maisaiah! Don’t entertain any worry. I’ll take care of allthose problems. Your son will certainly become an engineer.After he completes engineering I will make arrangements forhim to come to America. After he earns money I will takeback what I am giving him now. That money also will begiven away for the development of our village on his name,”said Rajeswara Rao explaining the details with Anjaneyulu.Then he added “I can give money but the constantencouragement to make Mahesh an engineer is yours.”
Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar, who were classmates ofRajeswara Rao from school days happily agreed to take upthe responsibility. Maisaiah’s joy knew no bounds.
As Maisaiah walked home carrying the clothes presentedto him by Rajeswara Rao, it was like taking his engineer sonhome.
Maisaiah wondered how nice it would be if only his day-
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dream during his bus journey came true. By the time Maisaiahreached Rajeswara Rao’s house, he was not at home. Whenhe would come home was not known.
Next day when he went, he was told that Rajeswara Raohad left for Hyderabad. Maisaia's hopes were dashed to theground.
Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar took their children to Gunturand admitted them in the long term coaching. Maisaiah wasvery much disturbed in mind. How good it would be if hisson too became an engineer! But where from will he get somuch money? It became a daily experience for Maisaiah tolie down crouched on the rope cot under the neem tree andfall into a sort of a meditative trance.
Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar were wonder struck at thecoaching college, its buildings, the hostel and the kind ofinstruction they offered. They felt very happy. But theexpenditure was beyond their capacity. They should borrowand hold their breath for one year. But their children left thecollege and ran home within fifteen days. They weredetermined to stay at home and study though they may fail toget a seat in engineering. They said they would not go backand started crying. They threatened to commit suicide if theirparents tried to send them back.
Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar were taken aback. The lovethey developed on the coaching centers suddenly changedinto utter hatred. These coaching centre institutions……..knocked off twenty thousand rupees as advance. Not a piewill be returned. That happened to many parents. The twoparents took back their sons to the coaching centre and gotthem re-admitted after trying hard and fast methods to
convince the boys.
Mahesh could not make the EAMCET exam. He joinedin the degree college unvillingly and failed in the first year.Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar were calculating in whichengineering college their children would gain admission. Theirclassmate Rajeswara Rao could go to America twenty yearsago. In those days it was difficult for them to catch up withthe education they could get. As Rajeswara Rao was a moneyedman he took tuitions, scored high marks and got a seat in themedical college. Now, though late by twenty years, their sonscould, with the help of money avail themselves of theopportunity to reach the heights like Rajeswara Rao. He willhelp their sons to settle in America. The two parents were thusmoving in a dream-land with a bottle in hand and muttoncurries in their mouths. Rajaiah, the junior lecturer was alsowith them. Maisaiah approached them with a staggering gait.Maisaiah who was always humble spoke harshly in his stupor.
“If you teach well, will not my son also gain a seat inengineering? If you have confidence in your teaching whydid you not allow your sons to study in the same college alongwith my son? You boast that Rajeswara Rao was yourclassmate from boyhood. My boy will always come first inany institution. Where are those days? Your sons are not theclassmates of my son. It looks as though all poor students areput in government schools and colleges. You are drawingsalaries in thousands and doing no teaching. With your moneyyou send your sons to private colleges. Remember! My son isa natural uncut but smart diamond, sirs.”
Maisaiah’s words shook Anjaneyulu into thinking.Mahesh came school first. If the government junior and degreecolleges ran well, he too would have got his son admitted in
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the college in town. To whom could he explain his worry?The two teachers were angry when Maisaiah accused thembut kept quiet. Maisaiah left the place after shouting for a while.
Anjaneyulu lost his mood as a result of Maisaiah’saccusation and ordered for another bottle. What was wrong inMaisaiah’s words? Rajeswara Rao studied in a village school.He was their classmate also. They too studied in a governmentschool and secured jobs. Why did the society change like this?Their salaries increased many fold now. If they had faith intheir schools why did they send their children to privateinstitutions? If untrained teachers give good education inprivate institutions, what is the need for so many teachertraining institutions? Mahesh would have scored higher marksif the government hostels were maintained like private hostels!
“Mr Sugunakar! I have a doubt. Do you think that studentswho studied in government Junior colleges will stand thecompetition of EAMCET* and gain admission into aprofessional college?” asked Anjaneyulu.
“Yes, some. But they secure the seats because of S.C.,S.T. reservations. Are candidates faring well in opencompetition from government colleges? I have my doubts.What is wrong in what Maisaiah said? Truth is bitter. If peoplecared for this statement that will help the society like the neemtree. In olden days if the poor studied they prospered. Nowwhere are the jobs? If anyone wants to think of self-employment lakhs of rupes are required for investment. Thechildren of some like us who prospered a little early are ableto stand some competition. The children of the present daypoor cannot prosper.”
He continued. “It is said that a population of thirty crorepeople stay outside the main stream of life in the new socialdevelopment scheme. That means globalisation, liberalization,privatization will result in students of the unorganized spheresof work being thrown into a sort of bonded labour withoutminimum wages. If we give thought to the problem it is clearthat children of our category also have a dreadful future."
Rajaiah, the junior lecturer gave another lecture agreeingwith Sugunakar.
“Oh god! My mood has been spoiled. Let us talk ofsomething else.” Anjaneyulu said.
“The neem tree has been the tree of our country forthousands of years. But we could not realize its value. Nowthe Americans are trying to get patent rights on it. Our peopleare now making a noise that the tree is ours. The medicinesprepared from the neem tree have been patented in America”.Sugunakar changed the topic.
The more the dose, the more grew the anguish ofAnjaneyulu remembering Maisaiah’s words.” The fellow-Mahesh-my dear student. I took care of him like my own son.Maisaiah abused me. Mahesh is also like a neem tree. He islike a medicinal plant. We did not recognize his talents andabilities. How good it will be if there is a human resourcessection which takes a patent on Mahesh and bring out all hismerits as part of globalisation or privatization! Then Maheshalso grows like Dr. Rajeswara Rao or like our children,”concluded Anjaneyulu.
Sugunakar nodded agreement.
“The government is paying us salaries. It establishedschools, colleges and hostels. All this is for that purpose. Why* Engineering and Medical Common Entrance Test.
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do you throw blame on others?” asked Rajaiah.
The discussion stopped there as all felt that the mistakewas theirs.
Maisaiah was tired with his hunt to find his son who ranaway saying he would not study the degree course. Years rolledby. Four years later he went to Mumbai in search of his sonwhen told he was seen there. Mahesh was working as a masonin a building construction work. His sensitive heart was hurtby the society’s harsh nature. Mahesh was brought home byMaisaiah. Thinking that he would stay at home if he wasmarried, his marriage was celebrated by Maisaiah. He did stayat home but he fell into negative thinking being a very sensitiveperson. He will not get rid of the negative thinking till theinjustice done to him was corrected. The people did not likeMahesh criticizing everything. They thought he had changedby going to Mumbai and wanted him to go back to Mumbaiso that they would be rid of his cynical mentality.
The sons of Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar got settled asengineers in America with the help of Rajeswara Rao.
Maisaiah’s sons and daughters-in-law quarrelled. Theygot separated. Mahesh felled the neem tree saying that hewould do as he liked in the site he got. He erected a shed withzinc sheets there. He had two children. Now the tree of hopehad been completely felled. When he realised that there wouldbe no growth in his life he stopped talking out of frustration.Now he stared vacantly with no interest at whatever happenedto the world, whether it prospered or got destroyed.
Whenever Anjaneyulu or Sugunakar saw him, theysuffered deep pangs of sorrow. They felt worried why theirfavourite student had turned into a spiritless person.
Anjaneyulu was building a big house with the moneysent by his son from States. Mahesh was the chief mason. Hiswife also helped him. If the father of Mahesh built the houseof Rajeswara Rao, now Mahesh, Maisaiah's son was buildingAnjaneyulu’s house.
Mahesh now talked very little. He hummed if any workwas given and did the work silently.
Students continued to receive stipends every year fromRajeswara Rao in the school.
Rajeswarar Rao came to India after many years.Privatization resulting in withdrawing government funds, andthe invitation specially made to non-resident Indians madeRajeswara Rao think. He discussed the present day situationwith friends and relatives. He invited his close friends toHyderabad and arranged a dinner in a five-star hotel.Anjaneyulu and Sugunakar also went and he took theirsuggestions also.
“Do not come to this country believing the words of thegovernment. Laziness, indifference, political interference andcasteism are eating away into the vitals of people like whiteants. In this country pure gold also will be converted into dirt.But as the governing body members are your people theseproblems may not trouble you” said Anjaneyulu andSugunakar.
Rajeswara Rao decided to visit his village and stay therefor two days.
He saw Maisaiah from a distance and exclaimed“Maisaiah! Is Mahesh doing well?” hugging Maisaiah.
“Sir, I am Mahesh. Father passed away a year ago,”
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replied Mahesh with tears in his eyes.
“You are Mahesh! Did you not become an engineer! Whatis it, you have grown so old! What happened?” askedRajeswara Rao in great surprise. Rajeswara Rao had thoughtthat he should tell people proudly that the son of the farmhand became an engineer and that the atrocities committedby his own father should not be felt in the village. RajeswarRao’s eyes moistened.
“Sir ! I learn that you are going to construct a factorynear the Hightech city. Please take me as a mason. Even ifyou give me the job of a watchman, it is all right. Please dome this favour so that my children will have a chance to studyin the city,” said Mahesh bringing his palms together.
Rajeswara Rao had thought of taking Mahesh as anengineer to America. Now he had to take him as a watchmanin Hyderabad! Tears rolled down the cheeks of Rajeswara Rao.He did not understand why the depressed classes were notreceiving the fruits of development though the governmentand the society was trying to do its best.
Rajeswar Rao who wanted to stay in the village for twodays, left for Hyderabad the same day with a disturbed mind.
Sunday Andhra Jyothi, 20 August, 2000.
22
THE EVOLUTION OF LIFEGLOBALIZATION IN TELANGANA
“…… The boy is a soft-ware engineer in Bangalore. Igot the bio-data from the marriage bureau. I spoke to the boyon telephone. I think this alliance would be settled. I learnthat they are not keen on dowry. They said that if the girl isqualified to be a soft-ware engineer in the States, they aresatisfied.
“There is a possibility of his going to the states withinone year. You are a native of that place; I learn. If you go thereonce and find details about the boy’s background we willproceed in the matter about Divya.”
Sivarajam who was a scientist in B.D.L.(BharathDetonators Limited) went on requesting Chandramouli onthe telephone for nearly half-an-hour.
“Okay-let it be so. I too have some research work there.I will be around that place for two or three days. I’ll visit theirplace also. Okay. Definitely…” Chandramouli put the receiverdown.
Chandramouli left for Jagityala the same evening.
He went to his friend, Ramesham, who lived in the
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Mission compound. Chandramouli opened the topic of thealliance in a casual manner. Ramesham telephoned five or sixpeople and collected the information.
“The boy’s father Lasmaiah weaves cloth for KatakamLingaiah for wages. The boy has a younger brother and twosisters. They boy is the only educated person in the family.The two sisters roll beedis. The younger brother failed in thedegree course.” Ramesham gave the details.
“I have some work there in the poultry farm. Let us gothere after eating our meal,” said Ramesham.
Ramesham and Chandramouli went there on a motor bikeafter food. The black topped road was shimmering. Greenfields attracted their attention all sides. Also fruit gardens. Thebreeze was cool and Chandramouli enjoyed the ride. Theystopped at the poultry from.
“Oh god! Did we reach the place so soon! Hardly half-an-hour ago we left our village,” Chandramouli expressed hissurprise.
“The road is fine. So we could reach soon,” saidRamesham, praising the Chief Minister Chandra Babu Naidu.
In earlier days it used to take two hours to reach thisplace on motor bike. The road was slushy, full of ruts andpits, we had to push the vehicle in the sands of the streams.”Ramesham continued.
“Namasthe, sir.” Gangadharam, the owner of the poultryfarm wetcomed them courteously.
Details about the fowls, the production of eggs, their feed,their ailments, the care to be taken about the chicks werediscussed by them. Chandramouli got his doubts cleared as
the conversation went on.
Chandramouli was glad that many trees were grownaround the poultry farm. Gangadhar an took Chandramouliaround the farm.
“Shall I get you date palm toddy, brother-in-law? SriChandramouli has come from the city. Should he not taste thevillage speciality?” Gangadhar ....... suggested.
“This gentleman is not used to any of these drinks. Asfor me I am on a fast for half-a-day,” replied Ramesham.
After a while they sat under the coconut trees by the sideof the rose garden. Ramesham opened the topic.
“A number of alliances have been suggested for Ravi.The parents of girls have been visiting and going. Not a singlealliance has come up to the stage of the young people takinga look at each other”, said Gangadharam.
“Yes, why is it so?” questioned Ramesham.
“What is there to be told about him? For his parents,brother and sisters, he is the only important person in thefamily. In order to educate him his sisters were made to stoptheir studies at the seventh form and were sent to make beedis.If he reaches the level of going to America, his sister shouldbe married to atleast teachers. In these days which teacherwould prefer a girl who has studied only upto the seventhclass? They want a girl who is equally qualified. That is whyhe is keen on finding teachers for them by offering big dowries.His idea is good but in these days who will agree to spendtheir earnings for the house for seven or eight years? Morethan the girl, the parents of the girls have not been acceptingthis proposition. The boy will live in Bangalore or America
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thinking that marrying a girl from the weaver’s family iselfwas a great concession. Even if the daughter and son-in-laware happy, how to run the big family? Such were the questionsand doubts that arose”, Gangadhar explained how each alliancewent its way.
Chandramouli was surprised at the ideals anddetermination of the young man and appreciated his outlook.
“When the boy is working in Bangalore why should thefather weave for wages? Why doesn’t he own his loom?” askedChandramouli.
“He tells me to stop working. He wants me to stopweaving at the loom for good. But my brother does not heedhis words. He says that he will not stop weaving on the loomwhich gave him food all these years. If we ask him to own aloom, he says that he is not prepared to undergo all the botherconnected with owning a loom and selling the yarn to seths.He said with definiteness that he would weave for wages andwould not possess a loom himself.”
“Perhaps it would have been good if he had a poultryfarm like you,” suggested Chandramouli.
“Maintaining a poultry farm is a risky proposition. Howwill my brother manage something which is so risky? Is itpossible for the man to run a poultry farm who did not want topossess a loom for himself? I am afraid he has becomephilosophical. Once my brother had his own loom. He had agood name around ten villages that he wove fine sarees.People from different and far off places used to meet him,give advances and get their sarees woven by him. Now dogshave carried away those days….. The lives of all weavers havefallen on bad days.” Gangadhar remembered the old days and
grew sullen and pensive.
“I went along with him for the EAMCET counselling. Ipaid the fee myself. Of course he returned all dues after hesecured a job,” concluded Gangadhar.
“This gentleman has also come in connection with findingan alliance. His close friend’s daughter is to be married. Herfather is an important officer. But the girl has a squint. If shewears glasses the squirt is not observed. She is of normalcomplexion and is not fair,” Ramesham gave the facts.
“That fellow is not very particular about such things. Ifyou are satisfied it is okay. I will make him agree to the match.He will not say ‘no’ to me. Did I, at any time, say ‘no’ to you?If you feel that the match can be considered favourably afterlearning all the facts about the girl and the family, let us makethe boy say ‘yes’….” He turned to Chandramouli,” Have alook at their house, I’ll take you there,” he offered.
They started walking, leavning the bike there.Chandramouli felt elated and excited at the vegetable andflower plants which looked green and fresh.
The looms situated in homes were making noises as theshafts moved this way and that across the loom. “I think thereare a number of looms in this village,” said Chandramouli.
“Not many. May be there are about sixty looms. But onlytwenty or twenty five persons are weaving. They too areweaving for wages with the master weaver. They are makingtowels and lungis mostly. Sarees only now and then. Sareesof eight or nine yards length are not available in the market sothey are woven on orders.”
“How many families live here?” asked Chandramouli to
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satisfy his curiosity.
“Twenty years ago there were hundred families. If theyall had lived here by now they would have grown into threehundred families by the lowest estimation. But now there maybe fifty houses. The others left seeking employment andlivelihood to different places – not one place, not on oneparticular job.” Gangadhar again fell into a pensive moodrecollecting past events.
A cat jumped out of a window, eighteen inches high,with a mouse clutched in the mouth.
“There’s no one in that house now. The owners of thathouse built a house in Jagityala. No one is prepared to buythis house. It costs fifty lakh rupees to construct a house likethis. No one in willing to buy the house along with the site.”
“What’s the reason?”
“Who’s living in villages now, sir? Moreover the ownershad laid a condition that the house should not be dismantledbut retained as it is. A lamp should be kept burning in thehouse. The open space before the house should be cleaned,watered and a pattern with lime stone powder should be drawn.They are not selling it for want of money. The wood of thehouse alone fetches fifty thousand rupees. They were bornand bred in that house. The house proved auspicious to themin all respects. It is a house where goddess Lakshmi lives. Inthese days even if you offer two lakh rupees such a goodhouse would not be available. When a party wanted to buy itfor thirty five thousand rupees and use the house the as acattle shed, the owners did not sell it,” informed Gangadhar.
“What does the owner of the house do?”
“What do they lack, sir? They are four brothers doingfour different kinds of jobs. The eldest is a whole-sale clothmerchant in Jagityala. The second brother runs his real estatebusiness covering the area between Jagityala up to Hyderabad.The third runs a bar cum restaurant. The youngest is a M.A.,B.Ed. and runs a school in Jagityala. There are eight hundredstudents in the school. The two acres of land purchased outsidethe town for the school fetches two thousand rupees a yard ifsold as plots. When young they worked hard. Now theymaintain cars. When they were young all these brothers woveyarn with their father. In those days four looms used to beworking in their house….”
In some homes there was no movement of people.
“Why are these houses silent?”
“They are the houses of Kapus. They all have gone tofields to cultivate lands. They will be returning in a short time.”
A few yards beyond the houses of the Kapus, the soundsof working looms were again heard.
“This is the house of Ravi Prakash. Please walk in,” saidGangadhar, going in.
“Gangadhar has come,” said Lachumbai addressing herhusband Lasmaiah. She stopped her work of spinning the yarnon the charaka on the pial. She placed the cot on the pialremoving the charaka and other items. She spread a bed coveron the cot, brought an old wooden chair and pushed aside thebeedi leaves cut by her daughters.
Lasmaiah came out of the pit at his loom and adjustedhis dhoti folds, wiped his face with a towel and put on theshirt which was hung to the peg of the loom.
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Lasmaiah came out and greeted Ramesham saying“namaste.”
The house resembled a factory. The smell of canjeeemanated from the pot.
The long wooden planks and the thick adjusting brushwere placed leaning on the wall. A saree was put to dry on acot against the wall. The loom pit was clearly visible. Theother itmes used for weaving were all in the room. There wasa window at a height of about a foot and a half above theground. Good breeze was blowing into the room from thewindow. Sun light dazzled on the cloth that was being wovenon the loom.
“Where did your children go?” asked Ramesham.
“They said they would spend some time with theirfriends. They took with them the beedi leaves,” repliedLachumbai.
She placed cow dung cakes in the mud oven, lighted thedried sticks with kerosene and started making tea.
“What brings you here?” asked Lasmaiah.
Gangadhar and Ramesham explained the purpose of theirvisit.
Lasmaiah was happy that a big officer from Hyderabadcame to the village seeking an alliance. His face blossomedforth like a full blown flower.
“ If your son goes to America, you too have to go there.If the son and daughter-in-law go to their jobs, you will haveto live in America looking after your grandsons and granddaughters.” said Ramesham smiling.
“Why? Are there no children here? There is anotheryounger son here. We will not go to America, not onlyAmerica, we will not leave this village and go elsewhere.Anyway he will live there for five or six years and come backto our country. He said he would be there till sisters are marriedand till we buy a house in the city,” informed Lasmaiah.
“Before they go to America, everyone says so. Once theyare used to the comforts of America, no one returns,” saidRamesham smiling.
Lachumbai brought tea for them all. Her two daughtersran home learning that some visitors had come to their house.
“This is the elder one, this the younger,” Lasmaiahintroduced his two daughters to the visitors.
The eyes of the girls glowed with the pride that their brotherwas working as an engineer in Bangalore apart from theinnocence they reflected in their eyes. They looked again andagain at the photograph of the girl which their father held inhis hand.
Chandramouli knew that talking in a manner that wouldbe appropriate with the situation and status of a person was anart. “They are also not greatly propertied. Their father alsowove cloth once. They are also not very rich. You are also notpoor. They came up in life twenty five years ago by gettingeducated. Your boy came up in life now. They too lived likeyou in earlier days. Why talk only of them? We all lived likethat”, said Chandramouli.
Chandramouli reminisced his past. He wove cloth in onesession of the day and attended college in the other session.His parents also worked hard. He spoke of all those experiences
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in a friendly manner.
Lasmaiah glanced at his wife and his children. He guessedthat they liked what Chandramouli said.
“Did your son telephone to you?” asked Ramesham.
“He telephoned yesterday. He informed that the girl,according to reports, had a slight squint. ‘Someone from theirside may visit you. If they like our family and our house andif you feel that things will be okay, go and meet them if theyinvite you' said my son,” explained Lasmaiah.
“What about gifts and other presentations?” Rameshamwanted to know.
Lachumbai interfered saying that Lasmaiah will not talkabout these things.
“We are trying for a match for our first girl. One of themis likely to be fixed. The boy had not yet got a governmentjob. It may take another five or six months. They aredemanding four. The other expenses will reach one or more.We are looking for a match for our boy so that the first girl’smarriage also would be celebrated with his dowry”, explainedLachumbai. She was happy that she quoted one more thanwhat the boy’s people had demanded.
Chandramouli calculated that the total would come tofive. Sivarajam was ready to spend nearly eight or ten for hisdaughter Divya’s marriage. If the present boy is going to beavailable for such a reasonable amount, he could as well offerhis own daughter. His daughter was studying B.Tech in thefinal year. She was more impressive looking than Divya. Hewas a little worried and agitated. Chandramouli felt that heshould have brought the photograph of his daughter also.
Ramesham and Chandramouli went out and had somediscussion. Chandramouli spoke to Sivarajam, the girl’s father.He handed over the mobile to Ramesham. Ramesham andGangadhar described and explained the details. Gangadharspoke to Ravi Prakash also. Later they all returned to the pialand sat on the cot confortably.
“Then, when do you go to see the girl? Their addressesin this visiting card. Take Gangadhar with you and take alook at the girl,” said Ramesham.
“That means, you are keeping away. You are theimportant person. How can we go without you?’ said Lasmaiahwho knew how Ramesham managed things. Can I escape ifyou insist on my going? “ smiled Ramesham.
Both the parties guessed that the match would get fixed.
• • • • • •
Two months later the marriage of Ravi Prakash withDivya, the daughter of B.D.L. Sivarajam, was celebrated on agrand scale in Hyderabad. But Lachumbai and Lasmaiah werenot happy with the marriage that was celebrated in a hurlyburly manner. Their son arrived five days before the marriagesaying he could not get leave. There was not much time to gothrough the many formalities and rituals connected with themarriage. They did not at all feel that the wedding took placein their house. Sivarajam sent the bride-groom and the brideon honeymoon three days after the marriage. Lasmaiah didnot appreciate this going around places when the daughter’smarriage was to be celebrated a few days hence. Rameshamconsoled the old man.
“In our younger days weddings took place when the boy
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and the girl were hardly fifteen years old. For every festivalthe young couple were moving between both the families. Inthat manner relationships were growing and acquaintanceswere made. People knew each other in course of time. Nowmarriages are taking place when the boy and the girl are grownup. They are being sent on honeymoon so the boy and thegirl could know each other. That means they are beingencouraged to love each other after their marriage. By the by,we are all there to help you for your daughter’s marriage.”Ramesham spoke words of courage.
Fifteen days later the marriage of Lasmaiah’s elderdaughter, Vijaya, was celebrated in the village as desired byher father with fan fare and music. Ravi Prakash spent moneyfreely for the dowry and other expenses as directed byRamesham and others. Divya observed all the details andproceedings curiously.
Five days before the marriage the deity Pochamma wasworshipped and dinner was served to all guests, sacrificing ahe-goat. Divya felt it strange that Lasmaiah and Gangadharuncle should themselves do all the cooking.
Lasmaiah wove the wedding saree for his daughter Vijayahimself. Gangadhar performed the special ritual of Vijaya being‘made the bride’ two days before the marriage. He sent hisdaughter who was studying ninth class as the brides-maid tofollow the bride.
Pots were decoratced with lime and lime patterns and the‘Irendla pooja’ was performed. Seven earthern ovens weredug. In olden days these huge earthen ovens were got readyfor the guests who used to arrive on bullock carts for marriagesas they would be dust ridden. Firewood from the forest was
brought to boil water for bathing. Grain was stored in hugepots. Those traditions are being followed now also as emblemsof the past practices.
The branch of “Andugu” tree was brought with musicand it was fixed before the house. A platform was constructedwith mud. Married women performed pooja to the well andbrought water in brass pots. They made Kooraallu, the poojaof the new pots. “Irendlu” pots were taken to Pochammatemple with music and brought back after worship there. Theywalked to the temple of Pochamma holding a bed cover ontheir heads and returned holding the cloth like an umbrella.No one of them knew why this ritual was being followed. Ifsomeone suggested that a certain thing should be done, doingit had become a tradition. The family dhobi performed theritual of mitigating the evil angel's influence with cooked ricemixed with kumkum as they entered the house.
Women consider this ritual as very important. The marriedwomen ground turmeric into powder in grinding stones.
A marriage pandal was erected at the doorstep withcoconut leaves. The pandal was decorated with colouredpapers and different designs.
The gold mangala sutras and the silver rings for the toesof the bride which were got made by the goldsmith werebrought with band music and burning camphor. Songs on theloudspeakers were heard all by over the village. The dhobisand the barbers
* prepared the bridegroom “Mylapolu” go
through the saved bath bath before marriage cermoney.
The bridegroom was met half way with band music when
* Went through the ritual in the marriage pandal before the marriagesanctifying the groom and the bride.
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he was coming from the Markandeya temple and the bride’sparty followed him. When the groom’s party and the bride’sparty faced each other the exchange of pasupu, kumkumabetween the parties and mutual offering of sugar to be eatenby both the members were gone through.
Later the process of giving away the girl to the groom’sparty…. No one knows why this ritual of cumin seeds andjagery paste being placed on the heads of the young onesbecame more important than the actual marriage celebration.The bride groom and the bride were made to press down thefeet of the other by turns. They were made to taste each other’ssaliva and eats. The saree and the dhoti end were tied into aknot. In broad day light at noon the Arundhati star was shownto the couple by the priest after the marriage ceremony. Cottonseeds were made to be spread by the couple. The groom andthe bride went round thrice holding a balance in their hands.Ravi Prakash wondered why his marriage in Hyderabad wasnot celebrated with all these rituals. Gangadhar explained thateach village or place will have its characteristic traditions atthese celebrations.
In the evening the ritual of handing over the bride to thegroom’s parents took place. The marriage pandal, which tillthen presented a joyous atmosphere suddenly turned gloomyand dignified. The bride’s parents placed dried date fruits inthe hands of the bridegroom, his parents and the bridegroom’sfather’s brothers and shed tears. The bride, Vijaya, could notcontrol her tears and cried aloud. Some one wiped her tears.She touched the feet of all the elders saying, I’ll get going’.
The bride was about to move along with her husband.The bride’s brothers stopped the couple from going. Theysmiled and protested saying that their sister cannot be taken
away. Chandramouli recalled Rukmini’s marriage* when hesaw this argument taking place. Everyone witnessed happilythis scene being enacted by the sons of Gangadhar and RaviPrakash. The boys demanded five thousand rupees to be givento them for allowing their sister to be taken away. The amountwas finally brought down to five hundred rupees. The fatherof the groom placed the money in their hands and asked themto be satisfied with it. With that this particular ritual ended.Then these young men carried the groom in their arms to thecar. The procession reached the outskirts of the village withband music. Some young men danced while the processionwas moving out. Ravi Prakash also danced with them for sometime.
Lasmaiah and Lachumbai appreciated the goodarrangements made by Gangadhar and Ramesham and saidthe arrangements far exceeded their expectations. Two daysafter the marriage they went to the groom’s house for the returndinner. On the third day presentations to the groom’s motheretc. Again non-vegetarian dinner. Gifts were exchangedbetween the relatives of both the parties, to the women andmen folk of both the families. Lasmaiah and Ravi Prakashpresented new clothes to Gangadhar and Ramesham for over-seeing the arrangements for the marriage and touched theirfeet in reverence. Divya also touched the feet of everyonethere. She showed keen interest in what went on and enjoyedthe proceedings.
*Rukmini's father announced a swayamvara for his daughter when Kingsand Princes assembled and the bride would choose her man from among thoseassembled. Sri Krishna arrived and is chosen by Rukmini. When Krishna wasabout to leave with his bride, her brother Rukki arrived to fight with Krishna forhe watned his sister to mary someone else.
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Four days later Ravi Prakash and Divya left for Bangalore.Three months later he left for the States. Divya received hervisa after four months.
The rest of the story is known to all. So I will give briefdeails.
The alliance for the younger sister of Ravi Prakash wassettled after one year. He bore the entire expenditure for thewedding but made it clear that he will not be able attend themarriage personally. As Divya was with him in the States foronly one year and as the expenses for them both to come andgo would be very high, it would be impossible for them toattend the marriage. They explained again and again theposition on the phone.
At the marriage people began to comment that RaviPrakash had become an American and that he and his wifewould behave like that thereafter. Lasmaiah and Lachumbaireconciled to the situation and consoled themselves thinkingpeople would talk like that out of jealosy for the prosperitytheir son enjoyed. Their very close relations themselves couldnot bear the news that Ravi Prakash bought a car for eightlakh rupees.
Some years later Ravi Prakash secured a transport agencyfor his brother taking the help of his friends in India. Thatfirm had been running well.
Limbadri of their village who was a wholesale clothmerchant in Jagityal came forward, offering his daughter inmarriage to the second son of Lasmaiah. The old couple couldnot believe the offer for they felt it a great honour which cameby most unexpectedly.
Gangadhar and Ramesham again acted the ‘marriage
elders’.
“What is great about me, I am a big businessman to-day.But once I worked on a salary of ten rupees a month. Yourson became a big businessman with his lorry transport quickly.It is all because of your elder son. Alliance with you issomething known to every one as a good alliance” convincedLimbadri.
The marriage was settled after discussions held duringtwo months. It was three years by then after Ravi Prakash hadgone to the States. Ravi and his wife too wanted to visit India.Chandramouli’s daughter Praveen, who had gone to the Statesto do her M.S.also came to India as her marriage too was fixed.
Everyone appreciated Ravi Prakash during the twomarriage celebrations.
Ravi Prakash pointed at his wife and said the credit wentto her.
“I advanced the money to buy the house from my salary.The money sent home was mostly from the salary of yourdaughter-in-law,” Ravi Prakash told his parents.
Many felt jealous towards the daughter-in-law. The eldersblessed her saying she was the “Mahalakshmi” of the family.Youngsters touched her feet. Divya was moved at the affectionand regard shown by the relatives belonging to the village.Divya who was with child appeared more beautiful than everwhat with people appreciating her.
Ravi Prakash applied for the pass port for his parents.Going back to the States they requested again and again theold couple to visit the States. Gangadhar and Ramesham tookLasmaiah and Lachumbai to Madras twice. They paid four
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thousand and six hundred rupees for each of them by draftand went to Madras on the scheduled date.
On the first occasion they did not know what to talk andhow in the American Counsellate and were confused. Visasfor them were rejected. For the second trip the old couplewere given training. Yet the old couple said they would notgo. They felt very much humiliated with the tests. Gangadharand Ramesham appealed to them to make the visit and lookedafter the papers. At last the visas were got ready at Madras.Ravi Prakash got the flight tickets reserved and sent them tothe parents.
Lasmaiah and Lachumbai left in cars with four hugesuitcases to the airport accompanied by Limbadri, Rameshamand Chandramouli. The Sivarajams met them at the Hyderabadairport. All other close relatives also met them there. The oldcouple’s eyes moistened on seeing them all together. Thedaughters shed tears. After a wait of two hours they boardedthe plane.
The clouds were beneath them as the plane flew in thesky. As they passed Bombay and London, they felt as thoughthey were passing through ‘deva loka’, the world of the gods.
As they got off the flight, their son Ravi Prakash wasthere to receive them. The joy of the parents knew no boundsas they travelled in their son’s car.
They could not but appreciate and praise the good roadsand the pleasant surroundings.
The house of Ravi Prakash was beautiful. It looked likethe spacious houses seen in movies. The house was built on aeight hundred yard site. The beauty of the house was never
imagined in real life or even in a dream.
One day Lasmaiah asked Divya what the rent was for thehouse. She suggested that he should ask her husband.
“I told you I paid an advance for the house. I have to payrent every month for fifteen years.” Informed Ravi Prasad.
“Will it be ten lakh rupees?” enquired Lachimbai.
“It is a crore and twenty lakh rupees” replied Ravi Prakashtaking the hand of his mother endearingly.
His mother could not guess the value of the figure givenby her son.
“This is the result of the arrival of the first daughter-in-law into our hosue” said the old woman blessing them both.
After a month Divya was delivered of a baby girl. Theold parents were happy at the birth of a baby girl.
Divya went back to work even before the expiry of amonth after the delivery. With the birth of the baby a newchapter was opened.
The American play commenced now.
The family changed beyond imagination for the reasonthat one member of the family was highly educated!
The old couple thought that they have now an Americangrand daughter. They repeated the words ‘American grand-daughter’ again and again.
Ever since the birth of the baby, the girl's parents, theirson and daughter, sons-in-law, Chandramouli, Ramesham orsome one from India were telephoning to them and thetelephonic conversation between India and America kept going
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three or four times every week. The old couple felt as if alltheir relatives were in the next street.
On a week-end four or five friends sat together in thehouse of Ravi Prakash.
They discussed many things. Divya also took part in thediscussion.
Amarender, the close friend of Ravi Prakash, was oftenfinding fault with Ravi Prakash, in all seriousness thoughsmilingly.
“I’ve been telling you from the beginning not to buy ahouse. You are converting money into dead capital by payingrent for fifteen years,” said Amerender.
“Skies have not fallen on our heads! How old are we?All of us are just thirty plus. I am only twenty seven. Some ofmy classmates in India have not been employed even now.Anyway we have to pay a thousand dollars as rent for a house.We are paying another seven hundred as extra amount. Okay.Forget, what has been done. What do you propose for thefuture?” said Divya.
Praveen’s husband Parthasarathi said that he was notprepared to take a risk so soon.
“What is life without taking a risk? You can’t drive a carwithout taking a risk. Show me the place where there is norisk. Are these jobs permanent? This is not India,” saidViswender Reddy, a friend.
“My husband says so in the beginning. But later he is thefirst to do things” said Praveena smiling.
“How long should we lead lives like employees in a
routine manner and live a life of boredom? We should embarkon some adventure. We should start some venture on our own.Why should we not reach a higher stage in life than this?”suggested Amarender.
“Why should we not start a software company? Threehundred dollars are sufficient for registration. Could we notestablish an institution, so many as we are? Don’t we havethat strength? Is it impossible if all of us joined hands?” Vinodargued.
Finally they all agreed to start a soft-ware company withDivaya as M.D.
Though Divya rejected the idea of her being made theM.D. there was a glow in her face.
Parthasarathi felt as though he was being bogged downin a mire.
“Be brave. Forget the past. We have taken another steptowards a new paradigm. We will succeeded surely. Hereaftera new chapter opens in our lives….” said Vijay enthusiastically.
The telephone. Divya received the call. It wasChandramouli. Divya briefly explained the proposal they haddiscussed. She asked him for his suggestions. Chandramouliwas very happy. She pressed the speaker to be heard by all.
“In olden days it was next to impossible to get a teacher’sjob. In your generation some of you could go to States. WhenI observe you and your enthusiasm I am reminded of LalaLajapathi Roy, Gandhi, Nehru, Ambedkar, A.K.Ramanujam,Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan and others. They got a chance tovisit foreign countries 150 years ago. You got such chancesnow. You have started your lives now. Your reaching greater
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heights depends on your enthusiasm, determination and talent.Who told Bill Gates to grow in life? Satyam Ramalinga Raju,Infosis Narayana Murthy- who told them to venture forth?Who told Ambani who started his life as a clerk, to reach greaterheights? Did anyone tell the orphan boy, Ford, to reach thesummit in car manumacture? It all depends on determination,decision, continous effort and hard work. The conquerer ofthe world. Alexander, said that the world is very small for theperson who wants to win. I have nothing more or new to tellyou. You will have the opportunity of serving your land themore you grow. Don't forget this. Best of luck.”
Those present clapped their hands.
Lasmaiah and Lachumbai looked round innocently notknowing why they clapped. They were sure that their son anddaughter-in-law will do good deeds always.
The old couple had their thoughts on their daughters.They felt it would be good if the two sons-in-law also came tothe states. They spoke their mind to Ravi Prasad.
“We are going to establish an institution for such persons.If they learn computer training there, we can find them somework here. That is our attempt now,” replied Vijay, all smiles.
Sunday Vartha 21.8.2005
23
THE FIFTH SUITOR
Sumalatha read the letter again. It was left where it wasplaced the previous day. She was overcome by the ecstasythe letter created, like lighting, like a thunderbolt, like a down-pour. Every pore of her being was filled with youthful enthu-siasm ….. It was like the electrifying life force flowing throughthe innermost recesses of her heart.
“Beloved Sumalatha!
O you my beloved dream girl! O you beautiful Damayantiwhom the swan’s message could not unite her with her lover,O you Varudhini who failed to possess handsome Pravarakhyawhom you loved. O you Shakuntala, resident of rishi Kanva'sashram, when will you present me, your Dushyanta, withBharata as our son, O you Vasanthsena who could not gainyour lover Charudatta. O you Draupadi, Who cared for herfive husbands,the pandava brothers, O you Ahalya who wasloved by Indra, cursed by rishi Goutama for perfidy to be-come stone and redeemed from the curse by Lord Sri Rama…how many years have gone by since I saw you. Every pore ofmy being is pining to see you, to touch you!
Suma, O you matchless beauty! O you Madhavi who re-
* Varudhini, Shakuntala, Vasanthasena and Ahalya were beautiful dam-sels of ancient Indian classical literature
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gained her virginity again** and again even after eons of timecalled 'Yugas', remember that here is a man that eagerly awaitsyou pining away like the patridge, the bird that pines for themoon. O you queen of my heart who has given me life andconfidence! Remember that your decision gives light to a life!
A very convenient occasion has offered itself to bring ustogether. You must come atleast a day in advance for the mar-riage of our Dharmaraja. Let us meet in Indraprastha Lodge. Ifeel certain that you will definitely come, that I will meet you,that I will see the queen of my dreams. I will be eagerly await-ing for the moment when you and I will be one……
I remain your fifth suitor.”
Sumalatha placed the letter on the table where it could beseen prominently. How wonderful it would be if Ratnakar readsit! Ratnakar should read it. After reading it he should ask herwho that fifth suitor was. He should shout in anger at the pitchof his voice who the other four were. She would then smile orlaugh like Draupadi and tell him who they were. Sumalathasecretly wished that jealousy should rage in him. But Ratnakardid not seem to have seen it. The children also had not per-haps seen it and had not showed it to their daddy. Sumalathawas disappointed.
If Ratnakar reads the letter he would divorce her. Thatwas what she had been wishing for. If that happened a numberof rumours about her would be afloat. It would have beengood if he had read the letter. Everyone should learn how shewas the dream girl of many young men during her college
days. Everyone should know how many young men hadworked hard at studies and secured jobs and were leadinghappy lives because they craved for her loving looks, her ten-der touch, with respect for her word that if they fared well atstudies she would consider responding to their love.
During college days how many meetings of the student’sunion! How many problems! How many times she organisedthe activities! Night and day…how great an enthusiasm! Howmany friends! What great ecstasy! What happened to all thosedreams? Was it life at all she was living now? She was con-fined to the kitchen. She had turned into a Madhavi who hadlent her body to a Galavya. What a wonderful comparisiondid the fifth suitor present! The story of Mahabharata – thenovel Anupama Niranjana… Madhavi…She gave the novelto him to read. The fifth suitor….the fifth suitor…Dayanand!What a beautiful dream. She was described as the dearVarudhini who could not possess her Pravarakhya! But couldshe, like Varudhini get her Pravarakhya in Ratnakar?Dayanand had said “I am not Krishna, mind it!” If she hadgiven birth to a Bharatha by Dayanand….why did she forgothat fortune….
The solidified memories melted and flooded out.
• • •
“I love you, Sumalatha”. Dayanand faltered with bentlooks.
‘Seventeen’ she counted silently. She did not speak.
“I speak the truth, Sumalatha! Let us marry.” He lookedinto her eyes. There was confidence, truthfulness, innocencein his looks. There was a glow in his eyes. Her entire beingexperienced horripilation when their eyes met.
** Madhavi was the daughter of Yayathi, a king. A rishi had given her aboon that she would remain a virgin though she bears children. Galavya gifts herto kings in order to collect 800 horses to be given to his guru Vishwamitra as‘guru dakshina.’
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After a while she smiled. It was the smile that adorned aface that had won the world. In her happiness she blurted out,“fifth suitor.”
Dayanand startled at what she said. She saw tears in hiseyes. His face shrivelled at once. The strings of his heart wentsilent.
“Sumalatha! Sorry! I didn’t know that you too care forcastes and religion. The expression you used is a weapon di-rected against the opponent. It is an expression of abuse. Hasnot the fifth man the right to love?” Dayanand turned awayfeeling humiliated.
It did not occur to her that the expression was offensive.It produced a meaning which she did not expect. Why didDayanand feel so? What did she mean? What meaning did heunderstand? In a trice she got it and called “Dayanand!” Hestopped for a moment. She rushed to him. She offered himpepsy. She trembled after she understood what she did. Hewas surprised at what happened-Tears of joy made him feelconfused.
She held Dayanand’s arm and stopped him.
Her body got electrified.
“Sorry Dayanand! I did not say it to hurt you”, shepleaded. The more she requested him to forgive her, the morestubborn he grew. “Then why did you call me the fifth suitor?”he asked. What reply had she for the question? Suppose sheanswered him, he may think very mean of her. Yet, she shouldprove that she had not humiliated him.
“Dayanand! Please don’t misunderstand me. You are thefifth person to say you wanted to marry me. You are the
seventeeth person to whom I said ‘I love you’. I recollectedthat and smiled but not with an intention of putting you toshame. Sorry Dayanand.”
Her words surprised Dayanand. Instead of hating her, hewas overcome by shyness.
“Sumalatha! I feel shy and ashamed. I love you with allmy heart. I have been loving you for a long time. I lackedcourage to speak of my love to you. As a result, instead ofbeing the first person, I fell into the seventeeth rank. I am thefirst suitor, not the fifth one, Sumalatha!”
He narrated many instances to prove his point, to provehis steadfastness in his love for her.
Sumalatha wanted to tease him further. "But Dayanand!It was your count when you got the idea in your mind. Itreached me only when you expressed it. So my calculation iscorrect. You are the fifth suitor. I knew your mind only afterfour others expressed theirs. You stand fifth in my memoryalso.”
“Sumalatha! Do not say so. I am prepared to die for you.If you reject me I will remain a bachelor. If you want me tostop studies, I will do so. Please believe me…..”
She gained a lot of confidence with his words. In theevening she told Shailaja about it feeling proud like a princes.
“Shailu, my score now is seventeen-five. Your score hasnot crossed three-one. Do you agree even now that to be loved,beauty alone is not important, that one must provide an op-portunity for the other person to respond with the inner beautyof the heart and that in order to achieve that you must befriendly and hearty in your approach…?”
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Shailaja did not agree with Sumalatha. She did not shedher proud looks that proclaimed how beautiful she was.
“You suffer from inferiority complex that you are notbeautiful and so try deliberately to snare young men and thisis the result,” replied Shailaja.
“Right, Shailu! When did I tell you that I was beautiful?If you had not provoked me saying that I had a thin line ofmoustache on my upper lip and that no one would ever loveme, I would not have developed this determination and drive.You are the cause for me to be loved by seventeen youngmen. Thanks”.
“The fifth suitor, I learnt, was Pravarakhya. How did hefall into your net? For how many more will you find a place inyour heart? Why don’t you okay one of them? The others willwithdraw and go their way.”
“Abbo! What ambition! You want to knock off one ofthem! I will not lose any one of them, Shailu! I love this wide,wide universe. I am the mother that gave birth to this world.My motherly heart is as wide as the universe. My heart willaccept all for the establishment of a new society that has nobarriers of religion and caste.”
“Suma! Stop your poetic fervour. You better accept oneof the young men. It will be good for you and them too.”
“Shailu! You haven’t understood the politics involved. IfI okay one of them, the others will leave and go away. I don’tlike that. In order to get rid of my inferiority complex and tosuppress the pride of people like you, I cannot but act in thisway.”
Next day Sumalatha told Dayanand that her vote was for
the one who scored a distinction.
Dayanand kept away from student union activities butmoved closer to books and studies. Later he got admitted intothe Delhi J.N.T.U. He wrote letters to Sumalatha from Delhi.She never replied him. Gradually his letters became few andfar between. After sometime he secured a job in Lucknow.
Perhaps the letter he wrote then was the longest letter.How deep was his love that was expressed in that letter. Sheignored his love as she was deeply involved in student poli-tics.
“Will you send the call letter to the seventeenth candi-date only when the first sixteen are rejected by you? Awaitingyour decision…….I remain, your fifth husband……”
In his last sentence his anger and his deep love were bothrevealed and she was moved. But she could not write her re-ply. She told her people that she was going to her friend’shouse and left for Lucknow.
Dayanand was overjoyed when he saw her materialisingbefore him unexpectedly. Could she forget the happy experi-ences of those seven days in her life! Alahabad, Singar Nagar,Rajajipuram, ……to how many places did he take her! Tohow many friends did he introduce her! How many thoughtsand feelings could they exchange between themselves on thegreen grass under the cool shade of trees in Chidiya Ghar!
Kanpur, hardly a distance of two hours from Lucknow-how different it was from Lucknow! She was surprised be-yond measure when told by him as to how many dialects ofHindi were in use in Lucknow. He also informed her thatGandhi had desired that Hindustani should be the nationallanguage. But opposed to this view of Gandhi, all the Urdu
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words were being removed from Hindi and the gaps werebeing filled by Sanskrit words. This was opposed by Muslimwriters in a movement. How interestingly these aspects werenarrated and described by Dayanand! Another astonishing fact-that in Utter Pradesh alone there were eight varieties of Hindiin use! How keenly and deeply Dayanand analysed issues!
“How beautiful it would have been if the small birth markhad been on your right cheek and not on your back,Sumalatha!”
When Dayanand said these words how greately did shefeel electrified!
Her birth mark on her back! When did he see it? Thevery thought that he had observed her so keenly made hertwist in extreme shyness.
Sumalatha returned to her place filling her heart withhappy experiences that would last for some years. Shailaja, towhose house she said she was going, came in search of herand stayed away for two days and left. Her people did notbelieve whatever she told them about her absence.
Sumalatha was surprised when Ratnakar, who had lovedShailaja, expressed his willingness to marry her. Her marriedlife with a broken-hearted lover! More surprising was Shailajamarrying Dayanand! How many twists life took within a shortperiod of one year!
The mistake was hers. If she had replied the letters ofDayanand things would not have taken this turn. Lives wouldnot have got mixed up as in Vishwanadha’s novel“Ekaveera.”*
Dayanand had written a letter saying “I see you in thesky…. In my inner-most recess of my heart….I see you inShailaja…in my life’s prosperity….” She was then in her fifthmonth of pregnancy…
No one expected that Shailaja would take recourse tosuch deception. Dayanand had helped her to get admissioninto J.N.T.U. Without any gratitude she plunged him into dis-aster. She gave birth to a daughter, handed over the child tohim and married another man. Later she left him and went toAmerica with a third person. How noble was Dayanand! Hebrought up the child like a mother.
When Sumalatha heard about the difficulties of Dayanand,she wanted to divorce Ratnakar and go away to Dayanandwith her children.
“Shailu! Don’t do injustice to Dayanand? He is a god,”Sumalatha said to Shailaja when she came on the occasion ofher second child’s birthday.
“Suma! You know that I don’t care for anyone until myaim has been fulfilled. You laughed at me saying I did notknow how to love men. Now I have taken my revenge onyou. I succeeded in distancing Dayanand from you. When hegot a job in Lucknow I made him my man. It was I who told alie to Ratnakar that you were deeply in love with him. Myonly aim in life is to reach great heights which no one canattain…..” Sumalatha was surprised. Shailaja stayed inLucknow for a month and enticed Dayanand. He felt ago-nised that a mistake was committed because of him. He agreedto marry her out of repentance. She cried that her life hadbeen ruined. He consolled her. They had taken vows that theiraffair should not be known to others. Without spending a pie
* The noted twentieth centuary telugu poet and novelist.
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she could get a man earning a five figure salary as her hus-band.
“I wanted to prove that there was nothing impossible fora beautiful woman to achieve and scale great heights in a so-ciety where male superiority holds the sway. I achieved itSumalatha!” said Shailaja proudly.
“Shailu! Was not gaining Dayanand winning the world?Are there greater heights than this?”
“Foolish Suma! You yourself said that life did not meanmarriage, husband and children and that the ultimate aimshould be higher and nobler. Do you remember?”
“What I said was that this society should change, that theultimate aim should be the establishment of a new societydevoid of caste, religion and creed. I did not mean that it shouldbe so selfish as to reject husband and children.”
“Suma! You said it with your meaning. I received it inmy meaning. You are my guru. But your aims are different,mine are different.”
“Shailu! I request you again not to harm Dayanand. Be-cause of you he has suffered a lot by now."
“Do you mean that he would have been happier if youhad been his wife?”
“Is that ’no’ then? The unwanted marriage between meand Ratnakar took place because of you. You played with thelives of three persons to satisfy your ego and selfishness.”
Shailaja smiled to herself. In the manner of that smileSumalatha saw Cleopatra.*** Cleopatra!….how many wars
she created with her beauty! How many empires she destroyed!How many thousands of soldiers died!
“Shailu! Do you want to be a Cleopatra? Have you de-cided to make Dayanand, whom I love with all my heart, ascape goat? I’ll fall prostrate before you. Please do not harmDayanand,” appealed Sumalatha smiling. Though she smiled,her heart missed a beat at what Shailu may do.
What Sumalatha thought should not happen happened.Shailu’s sister and brother shifted to Dayanand’s house.Dayanand’s relatives left him.
Within a few months Dayanand became an untouchablein his own house. His plate, clothes, towels, bed, glasses etc.were kept apart.
Shailaja took her sister Hrudya to task. "Hrudya! Youraction is despicable! He is my husband. Because of him youare enjoying luxuries in my house. Do you know how bad Ifeel if the articles he used are kept away?”
”Sister! Not only I. Mother and father also hate him. I don’twant to use or touch the things he uses. We came to you as wehad no other go. But that does not mean we should kill ourself-respect. If you want me to go, I will leave this minute,”threatened Hrudya. Shailaja knew it was only an empty threatbut in course of time she surrendered to them.
If she wanted to realise her aim, she needed their sup-port. She should be in the majority and Dayanand should behopelessly alone.
One day Dayanand placed his towel on the bed after wip-ing his face. Hrudya shrieked at what he did. She shouted that*** The famous Egyptian queen whose beauty fascinated kings and emper-
ors. She had “a face that launched a thousand ships.”
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the towel was hers and that the bedsheet had been washed theprevious day and that it lost its sanctity. She said that it wasSaturday and that she was on fast.
Dyanand wondered whether he should cry or his sister-in-law for what she said and controlled himself. He was dis-tanced steadily in this manner.
Dayanand got confined to his room as if he were a guest.God knows the torture he underwent.
After Shailaja left for America, her people left Dayanand.He heaved a sigh of relief and was happy to breath freely. Inhis lonliness….his daughter Bhavya was the only source ofhappiness.
Dayanand was in Lucknow. Sumalatha was away fromhim. Ratnakar desired a person who would obey him, wordand deed. He did not need a person like her who had a heart.He always spoke ill of her, about her individuality and herbeauty.
“I lost Shailaja because of you. My great dream got shat-tered. You dirty face! All desire gets evaporated the moment Isee your face. Many people are dying. How nice it would beif you too die! Why don’t you commit suicide? I will get ridof your torture….”
“Ratnakar! Abuse me as you like. But don’t say I am notbeautiful. I will commit suicide when I like, later. Till thendon’t torture me….”
Her children gathered around her. “Mummy! Don’t die,”they cried. She was worried about her children. It was betterto die than suffer indignities.
Ratnakar’s behaviour changed a little after Shailaja left
for America. But he continued treating Sumalatha with con-tempt. She lost initiative in doing anything. She had to takehis permission to go to meetings, to meet her friends. If byany chance she went out without his knowledge and consent,she suffered hell for a week. The children were scared. Theydid not fare well at studies because of some fear and insecu-rity. They lost interest in making friends with other children.Their faces revealed anxiety as if they had lost something whichworried Sumalatha. She had to be submissive for the sake ofthe children.
Ratnakar was not satisfied with her submissiveness. Sheguessed that her leadership qualities as a student leader, herindividuality and her high ideals made Ratnakar feel jealousof her and that he suffered from inferiority complex. Whatcould she do now? Divorce and suicide were no answers tothe problem.
She thought she should leave her children in the care ofher husband and dedicate herself to the society. But Ratnakarwas not like Dayanand. She was worried about the future ofher children.
People likened her to Sammakka and Sarakka,* theTelanagana heroines known for their courage, who never knewdefeat. They knew only death. She had told people that un-dergoing punishment silently like Joan of Arc**** was notthe thing to do. But now she got bogged down in a bad situa-tion. She knew it was wrong. She knew that it was unavoid-able. Yet she could not act as she did. Ratnakar went away to
**** She was the girl whose heroism inspired the French to drive theEnglish away. She was burned later as a heretic.
*Local village goddesses
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his work having known what she did. The children managedto take her to the hospital and got her revived…..On the thirdday Ratnakar visited the hospital having learnt that she wasalive.
Sumalatha cried her heart out not knowing why she shouldlive……Her diaries…..her letters…..she did not know whenthe children went through them.
One day they exploded a bomb.
“Mummy! Dayanand uncle…how nice it would havebeen if Dayanand uncle had been our daddy! How much didSailaja aunty harm you and uncle….Divorce daddy, mummy…Let us go away to Dayanand uncle…..far away….. so far awaythat none can know us..let us live in Lucknow mummy……!”
Her own children were asking for a new daddy as in thenovel * “Talli Bhoodevi”. Was her life changing as the lady’sin the picture painted by Akilan? Will she win the secondtime in life like Agnes Sejmadli? ….
The life she was living after her attempted suicide washer extra life. She had died that day itself. This thought strangelygave her new life; a new courage. She kept the letter writtenby Dayanand on the table to be seen by Ratnakar armed withthat courage…..
Dayanand! What do you aspire from me after the longtorture by Ratnakar when nothing is left in me physically ormentally? I have grown old. Thanks to Ratnakar, I lost allinterest in sex. How shall I offer my body and mind that aredead like a corpse? I am not able to understand the craze youhave for me. Dayanand! Are you a man like all other men?
Why did you want to meet me alone at Indraprastha Lodge?…..
“Dayanand! Shall I tell you a truth! All these years I en-tertained the fond wish of lulling to sleep your little replica inmy lap. But not in such a wretched condition as the presentone. Whatever it is …… what you wrote and what Iunderstood….let there be no misunderstandings. I have fullfaith in you. My conscience tells me that you are not a man ofthat type……..”
• • • • • •
Ratnakar informed that he would be able to arrive rightat the time of the marriage of Dharmaraju's daughter and notearlier. Sumalatha started with her children a day earlier. Shespent the day in Dharmaraju’s house intimately and left forIndraprastha in the evening. The children were eager to meetDayanand uncle and his children.
Sumalatha knocked at the door of the room. The musicstopped inside the room. Then the door opened. Sumalathacould not decide whether the girl was the replica of Shailajaor junior Dayanand. Dayanand was not in the room surpris-ingly.
“Aunty….daddy went to the market…He told us that youwere coming. Where are brother and sister?” Bhavya askedand touched Sumalatha’s feet with reverence.
“What are you studying child?”
”Twelth standard, CBSE, aunty”.
Sumalatha called her children who were waiting at theReception.
“Aunty! If you forgive me, I want to say something”,* A novel in Russain written by Ithmalov translated into Telugu
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requested Bhavya.
“Bhavya!”
“Aunty! I want to address you “mummy, will you agreeaunty?” Bhavya started crying after having said so. Shailajaleft Bhavya when she was eight years old. Ten years hadpassed.
The past whirled through the mind of Sumalatha and hereyes moistened.
“With pleasure,” she said, embracing Bhavya as tearsrolled down her cheeks.
The atmosphere in the room improved with the arrival ofthe children. Soon the room was filled with laughter and talk.They talked and talked about all things under the sun.Sumalatha was happy at her children smiling and laughingheartily. Many hours passed in a pleasant atmosphere.
Dayanand returned, his hands full of packets with dressesfor the children. Sumalatha wondered how he knew that shewas taking her children also to him.
“This is for you, if you have no bjection” said Dayanandplacing a saree in her hands after distributing the children theirdresses.
Sumalatha’s hands trembled. But she liked the saree.
The children said in one voice that the saree was beauti-ful. After food they all went to a late show movie.
At bed time a delicate problem arose. The children wantedto keep awake the whole night. “Uncle! mummy and you sleepin this room. We will all sleep in that room,” said the childrenwith Dayanand. Sumalatha trembled at their words.
She had awaited such a moment for many years. Whenthat moment arrived why did she tremble? Was it respect andfear that wedlock creates in one’s mind?
But finally after a great deal of gossip Bhavya tookSumalatha into her room and Sumalatha’s children opted tosleep in Dayanand’s room.
• • • • • •
The marriage of Dharmaraju’s daughter was celebrated.At the end of dinner all the five, who had met after manyyears sat together.
Sumalatha wore the saree brought to her by Dayanandwithout caring for what people would say. Ratnakar sat byher. Sumalatha was waiting for Dayanand who was movingwith Dharmaraju.*****
“For whom are you looking out. Jhansi Lakshmi Baigaru?” Arjun asked laughing.
“Perhaps it is for Dharmaraju. Perhaps she wants a groupphoto taken.” Bhim Rao, laughing.
Sumalatha smiled. Ranakar was surprised that her smilecould be so beautiful and happy. How many years ago did hesee her smile so……
“For whom are you waiting, madam?” Ratnakar askedpolitely.
“For the fifth suitor….” She said smiling. That smile de-noted that she had won the world.
***** The five Pandava brothers Dharmaraja, Bhima, Arjuna, Nakulaand Sahadeva were the husbands of Droupadi, the daughter of the king of Panchala.The hint by the author is clear.
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“I didn’t understand, Sumalatha!” said Arjun.
“You are the second suitor. He is the fifth. He isDayanand.” They all laughed the laughter laughed twentyyears ago.
Ratnakar wanted to leave in the evening. The childrensaid they would stay on for three more days. The bride andbridegroom were going. Dayanand and Sumalatha vacatedthe lodge and went home. She could not be alone withDayanand as the children were always around her like thechicks around the mother hen. Sumalatha asked him in thepresence of the children. “Dayanand! Why did you write theletter in that strain? Hasn’t poetry left you yet?” she laughed.
Sumalatha’s daughter Kavya heard her mother and qui-etly left the place.
The letter written by Kavya to him flashed in his mind.“Uncle! If mummy has to live you must help us. I read some-where that people do not try to commit suicide if only theyknow that there is at least one person who loves them with allhis heart. You have the power to change our mummy into themummy of the earlier days. Give life again to our mummy.Save and give us life. Please uncle….” Dayanand kept quietthinking that he should not make a mention of it.
“Sumalatha! We cannot get back youth that has passed.One desires that atleast in dreams, memories and in imagina-tion one should be youthful….your desire to re-dedicate your-self to the society made me respect you more. Many peoplebenefited from me. They got their wishes fulfilled. You arethe only one who did not crave for anything from me. Youwho had lighted my path should light the society. I will behappy if you do so. If you want to live separately I will help
you. Not for nothing. For extending your love to Bhyavya asa mother. But not as the wife of their daddy. He lost that inter-est.”
Dayanand was looking away. Sumalatha’s eyes werebrimful with tears. Whatever the world thinks, she would di-vorce Ratnakar. She would re-dedicate herself to the society.
“Daddy! Won’t you marry mummy?” Bhavya asked.
“Dear! The society appreciates the sacredness of stayingaway and co-operating. The same society derides if the cou-ple lived together. Until these values change-one has to ob-serve patience. Time solves problems.”
“Uncle! Now we will go with you to Lucknow along withmummy….”
“Then I may again become the fifth suitor in my house.”Dayanand laughed.
“I don’t know all that. To mummy you are all the five lifeforces.”
“What is the hurry? You will be here for three more days.During this time awareness between us grows and things be-come clear. Then let us analyse our decisions.” There was aflash in the eyes of Sumalatha at what Dayanand said. Herworry about the future of her children was dispelled.
Sumalatha who left the house that night did not return.She left a letter saying that they should not search for her andthat she would write a letter after six months. No one knewwhere she went. On the fourth day the children left forLucknow with Dayanand.
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24
DEVASTATION AND PEACE
Ten years ago Rapolu Yallaiah took voluntary retirement.This scheme was not in vogue then. There was no such namefor it also. He used to work in Bombay cloth mills. His daughterVimala grew up and reached the marriageable age. Till thenhe could manage his family without want. He was at a loss asto how he should celebrate his daughter’s marriage as he couldnot raise a loan. He resigned his job in order to get the providentfund amount.
His daughter’s marriage with Lakshman was celebratedon a decent scale. But he lost his job in Bombay. In 1982Datta Samanth made workers go on strike for an year and ahalf and more than a lakh workers, lost their jobs. Yellaiahthought that when he could manage to live somehow duringthat period of service could he not live by resigning?
After his daughter’s marriage he left Bombay and wentto Bhivandi. The working hours in Bhivandi were longer. Theyhad to work for twelve hours a day. There was no provisionfor provident fund and laws for the safety of the workerswere not in existence then. He returned after four years havingfallen ill.
Yellaiah belonged to a village in Kodimyala mandal,Jagityala division. If a person gets used to live amidst trees
and in the forest, he would not be able to leave that place andgo elsewhere. He will get used to gossiping with people andspend time drinking toddy under the date trees. How long canhe live sitting at home doing nothing? So Yellaiah started takingup small jobs and made a living. He celebrated his son’smarriage. But the dowry he received was not sufficient to meetthe wedding expenses.
He spent money for the birthday celebrations ofgrandsons and grand daughters. Debts increased by thousands.As he grew old, other responsibilities also increased. He couldnot but do some work. But he had no land to cultivate. He hadno plough. He had no bullocks.
He opened a tea shop at his door step. But it did not workout well. He had no money to be used as outlay. He felt thathe would not be able to go to Bhivandi and so accepted workas a labourer in a powerloom in Ciricilla.
Ciricilla was better than Bhivandi. There was no queueat the toilets, at the eating places and at the resting places as inBhivandi. There was cool breeze and a lot of brightness… Hefelt happy. But in Ciricilla power supply was eratic. If therewas power, the weaving mills were not sound. If there was noregular work it meant no regular income.
Yellaiah reconsiled himself to the situation as life wasjust moving on somehow… he would go to his village oncein ten days, spend time with his grand children, with his son,daughter-in-law and others.
Though work was irregular, he did not feel it bad. If therewas no work on a day, he would take a bus and go home. Hewould forget all the pain of the working place. He gotunadulterated toddy at home. He had sound sleep after he
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had his drink. Yellaiah ran the family in this manner, nowworking, now remaining idle.
His second daughter stopped studies with seventh class.She was reaching the marriageable age. His son shifted toMetpalli taking his wife saying that he would do some workthere. The house looked empty.
As matters stood, the owner of the powerloom, whereYellaiah worked, committed suicide. It was roumoured thathe committed suicide as his establishment did not functionwell, as his debts increased, also the interest. Those who gavehim loans cursed him silently. Those who owed him moneywere happy that they could avoid payment.
Yellaiah failed to understand why the cloth woven afterhard work did not fetch reasonable amount of money. He wasof course used to drinking toddy at home but his owner was atea-totaller. He would be doing some work or other frommorning to evening like all other workers. Then why couldhe not make money worth his name? Will he not be able toput by some money unless he earned a higher wage? As forhimself, what did Yellaiah earn by doing the work of alabourer? If he worked for a low wage, what would he eat?How would he live?
The association of powerloom owners arranged acondolence meeting. They discussed how they could avoidsuch a crisis in the future. Yellaiah started working with anotherowner.
A year passed. The second owner of Yellaiah hangedhimself. At that time the cost of yarn shot up. Power chargesincreased. People said if the cost of these two items wasbrought down, the number of suicides will drop.
The government had given permission to export cottonyarn to foreign countries without a thought. As a result cottonyarn was in short supply in the local market and the pricesdoubled. If this situation had not been brought about, therewould have been no suicides, said some. Yellaiah thought thatit was a fact and tried to find a job at some other place. But inCiricilla the problem was the same with every owner.
When Yellaiah came home, Yellaiah’s neighbour,Venkataiah, committed suicide not being able to repay loans,not being able to find work at a powerloom and also becauseof hunger. Everyone felt that it was most unfortunate that heshould kill himself for being indebted for a paltry sum of twentythousand rupees.
Yellaiah imagined the problem of Venkataiah as his ownand became depressed. He imagined as though he himselfhad died. Many other thoughts troubled him. He could notstay at home and could not think of going back to Ciricilla.
His son-in-law and daughter invited him to stay with themat Godavarikhani. Lakshman, his son-in-law was a good man.But he had his problems and did not know how things wouldturn up.
Yellaiah now realized why it was said one should not goand stay with the son-in-law. As long as he was away fromthem he had the feeling that they were leading a good life.Now that he was with them he lost that satisfaction. Thecompany of his grandchildren gave him some consolation,no doubt.
His son-in-law looked skin and bones having workedhard. Yellaiah thought of starting a petty business. Vimala washappy as her father was with her. He engaged the children,
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played with them, fetched water, vegetables and took thechildren to the school and brought them back….
Vimala could find some leisure because of the presenceof her father. His daughter and son-in-law improved in theirlooks and health. The vegetable cart he started did not workwell as there were many vendors on push carts. Yellaiah wentback home as he did not find his stay profitable there.
When Yellaiah left them, they both cried. Lakshman hadasked his father to visit Godavarikhani many times but hisfather refused to go there. “If I work in your place carryingearth you will feel bad. I too do not feel it would be proper.How can we live if I don’t work? How are the two otherchildren to grow? How am I to perform their marriages?” heasked.
Vimala and Lakshman realized how a house wouldresemble a heaven if there was an elderly member present inthe house. That was the reason why their eyes moistened whenthey bade farewell to Yellaiah.
Yellaiah wanted to go back to weaving. But he was notsure whether people would buy the cloth woven by him. Hewould have to invest a lot of money too. But he had no money.If people wore hand woven cloth will there be hunger deaths?Finally he took a job with a weaver at Garmakurti.
Mill cloth was available everywhere. Also readymades.Foreign stuff too. There was respect when people dressed inthose clothes. Why should cotton wool be exported? Whyshould we import their cloth? Could our hand woven clothcompete with their fashions?
“During Gandhi’s time people talked of hand woven cloth.They called it “swadeshi’. Where has all that enthusiasm gone
now?” said an important man of the handloom society. Yellaiahdid not get the purport of that question. He cursed the millsthat were destroying their lives.
Many thoughts bothered Yellaiah. ‘If yarn made in faroff places were brought here and sold, we too must have thefreedom to go to those places and work there. When that facilityand freedom is not provided to us, how are we to work andmake a living?’ He kept thinking.
Yellaiah's house was agog with joy and happiness forthe Dasera festival when his daughter, son-in-law, grandchildren, the parents of his son-in-law, and daughter-in-lawturned up to stay with him for a few days. But the joy wasshort lived.
His son-in-law informed Yellaiah that the doctors of hiscompany declared him unfit to continue the job. Theysuggested that he should opt for voluntary retirement.
“Will they drop me out after using me as a machine? Thesalary they paid me got spent as and when they paid me. Howam I to live when I lost the energy and strength in my limbs?How am I to educate my children?” lamented Lakshman. Bymorning the jolly atmosphere of the festive day turned intogloom.
“The company does not even possess the kind of gratitudewhich a dog expresses. How unjust?” Vimala, Yellaiah’sdaughter cried.
“How will human beings live if machines that do the workof man are introduced?” demanded Veeraiah, Yellaiah’s son-in-law’s father, as if Yellaiah was responsible for the crisis.
“That is what I am also thinking. I wonder whom we
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should ask for redress” replied Yellaiah.
Veeraiah used to dig earth and do allied work. The adventof tractors and modern machinery displaced him from hiswork.
“My second son has been trying to go to Arab countries.Can you help him monetarily, Yellaiah?” asked Veeraiah.
“The professions followed by a caste or a communityhave not been feeding us. We do not know when the newprofessions close their doors. The hope that tomorrow willhelp is dwindling. How are we to live?” philosophized Yellaiahin a sing-song manner.
Thoughts like the above are rendered in a song bywandering mendicants and sanyasis generally but such singinggot confined to be sung at the last rites of a dead person. Thisreaction of Yellaiah filled the house again with gloom andsorrow.
“Are these industries helping people to live by hittinghard the common man? Can a lame man or a man reduced toskin and bones compete with a man that goes in a car? Whatis the use of these plans and programmes that do not givework to hands that can work? Why these governments?” shotout Lakshman.
Yellaiah agreed that there was reason in the words of hisson-in-law though he felt that the words used by him werehigh sounding.
Veeraiah said that the moralistic songs sung by mendicantsand sanyasis deal with human beings and their lives. If menwho can work do not enjoy safety for their lives where issafety for the society? Industries should help man and not
destroy him.
Six months passed. The money Lakshman received onhis voluntary retirement was spent in repaying loans taken tosend his brother to Arab countries.
Lakshman and Vimala went back to their place. Hischildren were now admitted into the government school wherethere was no dress restriction. Earlier they had gone to a privateschool wearing the school uniform with tie and shoes.
Lakshman was happy with village life. The village, thepleasant breeze, and everything else was good. But there wasno work. He had no land to do cultivation. For him who hadworked as a labour hand, he had no rest. Now in the villagehe had nothing but rest. He got accustomed to leading a restfullife.
When his wife told him she had no firewood to cookfood, he went into the forest with his axe. When he was cuttingbranches he remembered his boyhood days, the songs he sang,the games he played. When sweat poured down his face andbody, Lakshman felt happy instead of feeling tired.
As he returned with the required firewood tied to his cycle,the forest guard stopped him and demanded money. Lakshmanwondered how the fellow suddenly appeared ignoring himwhen he was cutting wood for such a long time. Lakshmandid not know that finding fault was the only job of the guard.
The guard threatened Lakshman that if he did not payhim money, he would be booked and jailed.
“I didn’t get money. I’ll return with money” saidLakshman, left the cycle there and went home. He did not goback to the forest.
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Another day Vimala grumbled that he had no work. Sohe collected a few fish-hooks and went to the tank. He had agood catch. When he was returning the fisher-folk arranged apanchayati. They had taken the tank on contract. They saidthe fish available in wells under the tank also belonged tothem. Lakshman touched their feet, paid the penalty and gothimself out of the situation.
“You lost your cycle. Now you paid the penalty. Whateveryou do results in a loss. You better sit at home and do nothing”reprimanded Vimala.
Lakshman was confused and disillusioned. This earth,the water, the tank, the forest, the tree, this wood and stone –nothing was his.
How beautiful was nature! How peaceful the village! ...but nothing belonged to him. He wondered whether the air hebreathed was his at all … the trees, the gardens, the birds, thefish, the fields and tanks … none of these were his. How couldhe love this village? How could he live in the village?
He had thought that the job in which he worked was his.But he lost the job. There was no job security. What was left tohim in his life? Was it only the old house?
Now there will be peace for the rest of his life. Lakshmanstretched himself on the tank bund or under the fig tree.
“Father, mother calls you to come and eat food”, say hischildren going to him. He went, ate a few morsels of food andreturned to lie down under a tree.
Yellaiah did not know what to do observing his son-in-law. The lives of some … who grew before his very eyes …were getting destroyed … the society also was getting
disintegrated. The philosophical songs rendered by the bairagishave been giving strength to man to face calmly the destructionof the society.
Yellaiah realized now why their songs were being madeand sung. Vimala could not realize the meaning. She shedtears unseen by her father and her husband.
There was no anger in her sorrow. She was crying calmly.
In that calmness there was disappointment. Adespondency.
It was a state of contemplation – a meditation.
It was a phase which stated that tomorrow’s society wouldalso face that stage.
Yellaiah, her father, was singing the philosophical songtunefully.
In place of the symbols of destruction, sadness wasquietly, peacefully and calmly spreading itself all over thehouse.
– Sunday Vartha, Feb.2003
All India Radio – Labourer’s programme, Vedapriya Collections of stories, 2003.
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25
HELPING HAND
“What job will you get with only S.S.C. qualification,Aruna? It is not proper for you to say you will stop studies,”said Lalitha, the matron of the hostel, encouraging Aruna.
“Will I get any job even if I study upto the Intermediate,madam?” asked Aruna dejectedly keeping in mind theeconomic condition of her family.
“You can be a teacher if you do T.T.C. training afterpassing Intermediate. How proud would you and your parentsfeel if everyone says that tenant farmer Poshaiah’s daughter isworking as a teacher? Think of the respect you command! Ifyou work for some time as a teacher in your place, peoplewill not look down with contempt upon your family and yourcaste but respect for you will grow. Think for a while howhappy and respectable you and your people feel if everyonecalls you ‘Aruna madam’, ‘Aruna teacher’!”. Lalithaencouraged Aruna recollecting the difficulties she had facedbefore she herself could get a job.
It was difficult for Aruna’s parents to give her educationupto the tenth class. As a matter of fact her parents did notspend much towards her education. She stayed in thegovernment hostel and studied upto the fifth class. When herfather said that he would stop the studies of his daughter, the
teacher of their village told him that his daughter was good atstudies and got her admitted in the hostel. Now she had passedthe S.S.C. exam in second class. In the hostel she was givenfood three times a day as well as text books, note books, twodresses a year, bed covers, plates, soaps, oil, boxes and thelike.
Aruna’s parents gave her a dress each year and smallamounts of money every month. Beyond that they did notspend anything more. God knows why the Telugu Desamgovernment closed the hostels in universities, degree andjunior colleges from the year 1986. If a student wanted tostudy in a college, he had to rent a room and cook his ownfood. If he bore all expenses himself, he would get thescholarship amount sometime in February or March next year.The amount hardly met the expenditure already incurred. Howshould the money be got till then?……..Who would give aloan running into thousands of rupees? Later, how to clear thedebts? Aruna cried and argued with her parents but lost theargument.
“Saravva of your age has been married already. If youinsist on studying, how can we run the family?”
“Father! Please struggle for six months for me. I will getscholarship. I will manage to get a job and help brother tostudy.”
“In our families girls have not studied upto the class youhave studied. Do you mean to say they could not study? If weare educated, people will be jeoulous of us, daughter!”Poshaiah was more worried about social and cultural problemsthan the economic problems.
Aruna kept up her argument in vain and ended up crying.
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Her mother, Rajavva also shed tears. Her father went away tothe fields. The last date for applying to the college was thenext day. Aruna did not know what to do. She started out tomeet the hostel matron who lived ten kilometers away at theTaluka centre.
“Aruna! I will talk to your father. You should study in thecollege without fail. I will pay the fee. You stay with me tillyou get accommodation in a room. Can’t I spare a little moneyfor you?” said Lalitha.
Aruna tried to repeat what her father told her, feelingembarrassed.
“No. Do not tell me all that stuff. You must become ateacher after passing T.T.C. course. Or you should becomethe matron of this hostel and shape it into a great and an idealhostel and get a good name…..”
“Teacher’s job is all right but I don’t want to work as amatron of a hostel at all, madam.”
“Why?” asked Lalitha placing her hand affectionatelyon Aruna’s shoulder.
Aruna knew the problems of the matrons as she had livedin the hostel for six years. No one knew when and whichdepartmental officer would visit the hostel for checking.Madam shivered with anxiety till the time they came and wentaway. She requested the girls to tell them that everything wasgood in the hostel. She shed tears. She hid things and provisionsfrom the store room if they were more or less than needed.She cried many times that she was pestered for bribes whenevershe went to the office to get the bills passed, And their slylooks at her whenever she went there… and their talk…..whentwo madams met they talked only about such problems. The
student unions and the political leaders complained saying‘this is not good,’ ‘that is not upto the mark.’ The studentswere encouraged to threaten the matron and demandeddonations or rice for the political meetings etc. Lalitha madamliked Aruna as she always supported her and reported to theofficials that all was well in the hostel. Lalitha treated Arunaas her sister. Aruna cut classes for two days and went to therice mill to work. Lalitha came to know of this and scoldedAruna. Aruna wept saying she had no dresses. Lalitharemembered how she too went to do coolie work with hermother when she was young. This recollection made Lalithahug Aruna with great love. Lalitha used to get one or twomore dresses for Aruna without the knowledge of the othergirls.
An official used to come for Lalitha madam now andthen. Madam used to go with him telling the girls that she wasgoing to the office. After the officer left on transfer, Lalithamadam got rid of his bother.
“Am I not observing the difficulties you are facing? Whydon’t you resign this job? It is better for you to work in someprivate school. Or start to run a school yourself. I too willwork with you. Helping you I will take the Inter examprivately,” said Aruna with a smile, not willing to hurt thefeeling’s of the madam who narrated all her problems to her.
Lalitha heaved a sigh. Though young, Aruna knew thedetails of her life. Her husband who passed B.Sc. was withouta job. He worked as a sales representative. He changedcompanies thrice. He did not give money to run the house. Itwas rumuored that he had a paramour. Lalitha kept silent tokeep her dignity. She had three children. Her father worked ina beedi company as a clerk. Their life had no support of any
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kind, the job was the only support. Her job had its owncharacteristics. She felt happy that she got it without bribingand without influencing authorities. There was not much of acompetition too. Why was there no competition?…. Now itbecame clear. The joy of getting the job did not last long.
“Aruna! I am finding it difficult to manage though I havethis job. How can I live if I leave the job?… I may getpromotion as Assistant Social Welfare Officer soon. I have tobe patient till then”, said Lalitha to Aruna.
“I am very happy to hear you say so. If you get promotedas A.S.W.O. I will accept the job of a matron…..”
“No. Don’t. I just said it for the sake of saying it. Yousee, not all women work as we work. Don’t do this job thatmakes you shiver all the time. Rani madam suffered from fitsand worked trembling and shivering all through her service,”sighed Lalitha.
After lunch with Lalitha, Aruna told her she would meetthe teachers in the school.
“Yes. Go to the college and get the application form,”said Lalitha and offered her the money for the form.
“No, madam. I have already put up a fight at home. Fatherbrought a match for me before the results were published. Icried. They went away as I told them that I did not like theboy.”
“Aruna! You are not able to understand my worry. In yourcaste, out of a hundred students, you are the only one whopassed the tenth class. In the hostel ten students took the examand only four passed. If you, who passed in second class, areto give up studies what is the use of reservations?……. For
whom? When there is the reservation facility, if you do notutilize it, what is the use? Education and governmentdepartments are getting privatized. The stage is going to bereached when moneyed people alone can study and not thepoor. The government jobs which are already meagre are goingto become scarce. We do not know how tomorrow will be.What is the use if we do not utilize the available opportunitiesnow? Study beyond the Intermediate class. You will have aglorious future. If you pass Inter, you can go on studying uptothe M.A. course. You will get some scholarship or other. Whatis the use if you do not become atleast a teacher?”
“I am afraid to study along side students of upper castes.They humiliate us saying something or the other. To teachalong with teachers of higher castes and teach students ofhigher castes makes me feel afraid, madam……”
“Then, will you give up studying because of that fear?These fears may last for a year or so. Later you will becomethe leader of the teachers just as you became the leader in thehostel. Though your team came as runner-up at the DistrictTournaments, did not the Physical Education Teachers praiseyou as the best captain? Aruna! Remember this. If you feelafraid, you will be made to fear more by others. Do not beafraid of the world. The world is also like a hostel. Yourexperience of six years in the hostel helps you to understandthe world. Not just here, good and bad always exist togethereverywhere.” Lalitha spoke these words of courage andencouragement and pressed the money into Aruna’s hands.
After Aruna left Lalitha fell into thinking. She saw inAruna her own childhood experiences. She had no one whocould give her moral courage. No one told her whatscholarships were available, what jobs could be got by studying
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certain courses. If she had atleast one person who could guideher she would have become a university lecturer. Will Aruna’slife also end up like hers, facing defeat having won the contest?Her friends tell her, “ Oh! How joyous is your life! You receiveyour salary every month…..we have to beg our husbands evenif we want to go to a movie.” As for herself she felt likestaying at home cooking food like them while her husbandworked and earned. And her friends thought that she led ahappy life!
The watchman told Lalitha,“Madam some persons havecome seeking admission for their children in the hostel.”Lalitha got ready and went to meet them.
Poshaiah went to Lalitha’s house at eight in the night.Aruna went to a movie with her friends. As Lalitha had notcome yet from the hostel, Poshaiah walked towards the hostel.
The hostel looked beautiful and peaceful like a universityhostel. There were huge trees around and inside the campus.Lalitha was talking to the inmates. She later walked towardsher house with Poshaiah.
“Aruna went away somewhere without telling us. Didshe come to you, madam?” Poshaiah asked.
“Was there an argument at home?” questioned Lalitha.
Poshaiah narrated the entire story. He said he would notbe able to find a husband who had studied a higher class thanAruna.
“Won’t you be able to get a boy who will marry withoutreceiving a dowry? I will find a boy who will not demand adowry and celebrate Aruna’s marriage. The government offersten thousand rupees if an intercaste marriage is performed.
An amount of one lakh rupees is also given as loan to startany enterprise. Allow Aruna to continue her studies. I willpay the fee. She will live with me for some time. What do yousay?” asked Lalitha.
Poshaiah kept quiet as he could not silence the matron ashe silenced his daughter with force.
Aruna came after Lalitha completed cooking. She stoodat the door finding her father in the room.
“Do as you said, madam” said Poshaiah.
Aruna walked in slowly hearing her father’s words whichsoothed her.
Five years passed. Lalitha was now Assistant SocialWelfare officer. Aruna had been a teacher for one year. Aruna’sbrother was in Intermediate. Her parents stopped asking herto marry as she was now earning. Aruna was pained that thoughshe scored a high rank she missed a seat in the engineeringcourse as there were none to give her proper guidance andcounsel. Lalitha was transferred to another district onpromotion and Aruna could not get any support.
Lalitha went one day to the town where Aruna wasworking. She wanted to procure caste certificate and forphysical verification in the case of a couple who opted forinter-caste marriage so that they could be given the incentiveof ten thousand rupees. Completing her work Lalitha went tothe school where Aruna was working. She heard Arunateaching in the classroom.
“Praveen, stand up! Why did you tease Ravi?”
“It appears Ravi said that he would score more marksthan Praveen. Praveen then ridiculed Ravi making faces and
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Ravi cried aloud,” said Ravi’s neighbour.
“Ravi, stand up! Did Venu tell the truth?”
Ravi nodded wiping his tears.
“Praveen! What do you do at home? Do you sweep thepremises, clean the utensils, bring water from the bore, go todo coolie work on Sundays, grow vegetables at home…. Whatother things do you do at home?”
“This fellow never does any work at home, madam", saida student sarcastically.
“What about Ravi! He does all these things at home. Hisfather works for his wages in another place. Your father livesin your place. Your father clears your doubts. You have a fanand a tube light in your house. They have no electricity intheir house. They live in a hut. Is it great to score 62% with allthese inconveniences or Praveen scoring 69% who has allconveniences in his house? Tell me”, said Aruna to the boys.
The class remained silent for a while.
“Ravi is great ….” A voice.
“Good” responded Aruna. There were claps in the room.Raju’s face glowed with happiness.
The students stood up on the arrival of Lalitha and greetedher respectfully.
Aruna introduced Lalitha to the class, asked them toremain silent for a while and took Lalitha to the staff room.
Lalitha complimented Aruna. “Aruna! I see in youSavithri Bai Phoole!” she told her.
“Who is she, madam?”
“She is the first woman teacher in modern India. She isthe wife of Mahatma Jyotiba Phoole. She came up like youfrom poverty. I came to know about her recently.”
“Then I must know more about her”
“How do you like the teacher’s job in this town?”
“I am very happy, madam. I came to know that there isso much contentment and job satisfaction in this job after Ibecame a teacher. The disappointment that I could not becomean engineer is receeding. I became a teacher because of you.That gives me happiness. The lady sarpanch here is a goodwoman. She is very cooperative. She goes for coolie workeven now, do you know, madam?”
“That means she is sincere. By the by, what have youdecided about your marriage? Shall I find a boy for you?”
“Not so soon, madam. I will think of it after I do myM.A. Brother should complete his studies. He should get ajob. Then I will consider, madam.”
“Okay. What’s all the news?”
“Madam! There are many parents who cannot send theirchildren to the hostels. The children suffer for want of supportand help. We have to generate hope in them also and helpthem. Such girls are being given only fortyfive rupees asscholarship each year. This has been so for twenty years. Thescholarship should be raised to atleast five hundred rupees ayear, madam. I learn that in Gujarat girls going to the highschools were given cycles free by the government. Please takeit to the attention of the government that it should be donehere also.”
“Certainly. What’s all the news about your place?”
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“There are ten girls studying tenth class from my area.”
“Good. I think you are their inspiration.”
Aruna smiled.
'Then these girls do not have problems as you had. Thegovernment has started hostels in colleges for girls. Anyway Iam glad you have grown to great heights,” said Lalitha. Butshe was worried on a different count. Government jobs wereon the decline. The R.T.C. and the electricity depts. were beingplaced in the hands of private agencies. The few jobs and lifesecurity the dalits enjoyed since independence were also onthe decline day by day. If the girls were told about this willthey ever study with any interest? But who knows? In thiscompetitive world these dalits may forge ahead and gain jobsbetter than the OC s? Have not the Indian engineers andcomputer companies gained the upper hand over America?'thought Lalitha and kept silent.
“Madam! Job satisfaction and security of employmentprovides self-confidence. If there is a prop to a tendril, itentertains hope. Self-confidence grows and develops an aimin life. Then it is possible to reach any heights. Is it not so,madam?” Later Aruna repeatedly asked about Lalitha’shusband. In Aruna's words, Lalitha grasped new meanings.She hugged Aruna as a mother does and opened up her heart.
“Now he lives with the other woman. I wanted to applyfor divorce. But I revised my decision. What is the use oftaking divorce at this age? What do you feel about it?”
Aruna remained silent. She was pained that thoughmadam got promotion she had no satisfaction and happinessin life.
“I will not marry at all madam. I will dedicate my life tohelp and serve poor girls. I will resign my job and start a privateschool for dalits with low fee and shape them into idealpersons. I need your blessings. Can you invest some moneyto help me?”
Lalitha was startled at Aruna’s words. She felt beaten.She wondered whether the cause for her despondency was inher selfishness and her thought process. She wiped her eyesand said in a dignified tone, “It is not correct. It is not correctfor you to think so imagining that something went wrong withmy life,” and passed her hand on Aruna’s head affectionately.
Teachers should not speak of their failures and sorrowsbefore those who look upon them for inspiration and guidance.No one should try to expand on the negative aspects ofprivatization and globalisation and kill the spirit of those whotry to improve their lives with hope and courage. Failures haveto be depicted as part of successes but should never be talkedof as causes for dejection and disappointment. Even if boweddown by disappointments one should try to instil hope andpaint a picture of inspiration and joy, thought Lalitha.
“Your students are studying well and call you ‘sister’ withlove,” said Lalitha and talked of sundry matters and startedout to go saying "we shall meet again.” In the meanwhile thebell went indicating the end of the work for the day.
“Please stay here to-day, madam,” requested Aruna.
Lalitha stayed back that night. Fifteen girls ate their foodand ran to Aruna’s house to study. When they compelled Arunato tell them a story before going to bed, she narrated one ofthe exploits of Sindbad the Sailor in his journey of adventure.She narrated the story of bhakta Dhruva from a new angle as
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to how he made his life a success. The children’s eyes glowedas they listened to Aruna’s story.
Lalitha thought that she had to learn many things fromAruna. The children asked Aruna to tell them the story ofRobinson Crusoe. She said that she would narrate the storysometime later and wanted the children to ask Lalitha madamto tell them a story.
“While telling us about Ambedkar, Aruna madam told usvery little about Bagya Reddy Varma whose origional namewas Medari Bagaiah. Medari Bagaiah started a school fordalits about hundred years ago and gained a great name as asocial reformer in Nizam’s state. We want to hear and knowmore about him. Please tell us madam,” they requested Lalithanoisily.
Lalitha recollected Medari Bagaiah and the Adi Hindumovement he ran and started narrating it. As she did so, sheexperienced great pleasure and enthusiasm and the childrenslept off listening to her story. She then realized what thechildren had hinted to her about her future responsibility andfilled the vacuum she had experienced in her. She slept offhappily and with great satisfaction for the first time after along internval of time.
Sunday Vartha, 8th October, 2000.
26
THE ALLIANCE
‘Why do people break alliances? Why do they makealliances? Are they made only to fulfil necessities? Arerelations not necessary if there are no needs? Born as humanbeings if relationships are not nurtured and developed what isthe use of human birth? Tut…tut…’ thought Yellaiah puttingdown the receiver impatiently. He nodded agreement towhatever Karunakar said on the phone for quarter of an hourfrom the other end.
Did Karunakar remember him now? That too after twentyfive years to find an alliance for his daughter? He keptresponding on the phone for the sake of courtesy as if theperson at the other end was known to him.
Karunakar’s need made him call but not friendship.Karunakar remembered an old friend because of his need.Yellaiah was happy for being remembered but felt unhappyfor being used for a need. If a person was in a state of beingrequired to fulfil a need, relationships change into bonds.Having known the secret of successful living, he was takingan active interest in teacher’s, Union.
As he was in a thoughtful mood, Yellaiah forgot that itwas getting late to go to school. The lecturer Purushotham,the boy’s father, was closer to him than Karunakar. If he had
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to play the role of a middleman, he would supportPurushotham. But Karunakar was insisting on supporting him.He did not know much about Karunakar. How many brothersand sisters they are, their professions if any, he did not know.If people enquired whether he had seen the girl, and wantedto know how she looked like, what should he tell them? Whatcan he say about a person who telephoned after a lapse oftwenty five years?
Yellaiah rewrote clearly the bio-data of the girl which hehad scribled down when Karunakar gave the details on thephone. He was afraid that he would forget if he did not attendto things immediately inspite of pressure of work. Hetelephoned Purushotham without delay. His wife received thecall.
“Sister! Is brother-in-law available?” he asked.Purushotham came up on the cordless phone. After a fewpleasantries, Yellaiah conveyed to Purushotham the detailsabout the girl.
“What do we know about the family background of thepeople who telephone you after twenty years? We have tolisten to what they say. You say he is coming on Sunday. Letus think of them after he arrives here. Anyway we are notthinking of celebrating the boy’s marriage immediately. Youknow about it. I want to think of it after he returns from theStates after staying there for a year. Could you not tell himabout this?” said Purushotham.
“He did not allow me to talk at all. He poured out all hislove for me in barrels. Think of the problems of the father ofa daughter!” said Yellaiah and ended his talk. He ate a fewmorsels of food in a hurry, collected his lunch box and walkedaway towards the bus station looking at his watch. In the bus
his thoughts moved around Karunakar.
How dispirited was Karunakar before he secured a job!How affectionate he was! After he got a job how happy hewas! How he used to meet everyone at festival times to makeothers feel how good he was! After he was promoted as anofficer, how much he changed!.....Indeed from then onwardshe had to seek help from Karunakar. Though they both workedin two different departments, if one keeps telling people that adistrict official is his friend, how would things get done with adignity! It affords some status also in society, he had thought.He knew that Karunakar got de-linked with him only to denythese privileges to him. But the need was his.
When he went to Hyderabd once, he met Karunakar athis office in the evening at the closing time. He had thoughtof following Karunakar to his house, eat and spend the nightwith him. But Karunakar left him at the gate saying he hadsome work. He felt hurt for the first time. Did he go toKarunakar’s house as he had no money to eat food? He willhave to spend a lot of money on auto fare to go to his house.With the auto fares he could eat twice in hotels. He had thoughtof meeting an old friend without caring for the auto fares.From that day onwards he did not meet Karunakar.
He used to write letters to Karunakar now and then as hecould not keep quiet without writing to him. He used to feelvexed when he did not get replies to his letters. If he hadnothing to write, he would send greetings on festive occasionslike Ugadi. New year’s day etc. If Karunakar had responded,the connection would have continued. Once his letter wasreturned by the postal dept. If the address had changed,Karunakar could have informed his friends about the changeof address. How can one think that a person who works as a
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responsible officer, would not be aware of these formalities?Karunakar got rid of friends like him purposefully. Now thathis help was needed Karunakar telephoned. Yellaiah felt happyin the heart of his hearts.
Yellaiah came to know that Karunakar’s moralizing wasan empty boast. He was now in the top ten list of the corrupt.He used to pretend indifference whenever people talked tohim about Karunakar’s dark activities. If anyone pointedlytalked about Karunakar’s corruption he used to get away sayingthat he had no idea.
Karunakar earned a lot of money. He educated his childenin Residential Schools from the high school stage itself byspending thousands of rupees. The children grew proud andhaughty. They neglected their studies. They would havecompleted their engineering and would have been soft-wareengineers in foreign countries if they had not diverted theirattention because of their money and their father’s status. IfKarunakar’s daughter did M.Sc. it meant that she could notget atleast a payment seat after the long term coaching atEAMCET. No one knew how the girl was brought up, whather nature was. In a disciplined family like Purushotham’s,she may not be able to get on and adjust herself or aftermarriage she may ask her husband to set up a separateestablishment and the young man many have to spend all hisearnings on his wife. Will Purushotham tolerate this situation?
Karunakar telephoned because they belonged to the samecaste and there was an alliance to be materialized throughhim inspite of the long gap. It was difficult for boys in theircaste to be educated. Who can get a girl study upto post-graduation? How difficult will it be to find a groom if the girlis highly educated? That is the reason why the get-together of
brides and bridegrooms are being held caste-wise. What elseis the meaning of these get-together meets if it is not toremember the castes which have lost their identity? Even atthe get-together meets doubts prevail. Confusion rules supremefor want of details about the background of families. Theparents turn back to the villages where they were born andbred….Is it not strange that Hyderabad alliances get settled inJagityala, Korutla or in Metpalli?
The boy lives in Hyderabad. Also the girl. But the alliancegets settled through relations living in Jagityala. Even if theyoung things grow in stature because of their jobs or salaries,after the disappearance of the joint families and the advent ofthe individual families, once the bond with the native place isbroken, people do not have any other link. If it is not so. whyshould Karunakar remember him after so many years? If thecaste had not been the same, if there had not been any otherlink, there was no necessity at all for Karunakar to meet him.Many families must have got destroyed for want of friendshipand acquaintance.
“Please give me some space.” Yellaiah looked at the manand moved a little. It was inconvenient for four persons to siton a three-seater. More over the middle man’s girth itself neededtwo seats. Yellaiah recollected to have seen the new comersomewhere. Yes, he was Bhaskar. Bhaskar was three yearsjunior to him in the school. This fellow was terribly proud. Itwas traditional for juniors to greet the seniors. This fellow didnot greet him even once with a ‘namaste’. When out of someconsideration Yellaiah himself said ‘helo’, Bhaskar used tosmile a little as though he was himself the senior. What madeBhaskar so proud and haughty, Yellaiah did not know. Oncewhen Yellaiah said ‘hello’ to Bhaskar after Bhaskar became
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the Mandal President, Bhaskar frowned. Which meant thatBhaskar expected Yellaiah to greet him first with a ‘namaste’.Yellaiah stopped caring for Bhaskar because of Bhaskar’s evildeeds. In a short time both became strangers to each other.Yellaiah would not need Bhaskar’s help any time. Union wiseYellaiah was at a higher level than Bhaskar. Bhaskar was awareof the situation. Bhaskar knew who he was. But with whatface will Bhaskar talk to him?
Yellaiah looked at Bhaskar in a dignified manner as if hewas a stranger. ‘Connections’ get broken strangely! ‘Ego’destroys affections and love. Yellaiah wondered how muchmore would ‘ego’ swallow to satisfy its hunger.
Yellaiah told his colleague Rajeswar about Karunkar atlunch interval. “See how human beings behave,” said Yellaiahto Rajeswar.
“He seems to have earned well. He could have offeredhis daughter to your son,” said Rajeswar non-chalantly.
Yellaiah was surprised. Why did the thought not occur tohim at all? Social values restrain the minds of people! BecauseKarunakar was rich, as his status in the society and life washigh, Yellaiah had thought that there could be no connectionbetween him and Karunakar. True, keep aside his own case.Why did not Karunakar ask what Yellaiah’s children weredoing? Why did this point not occur to Karunakar also?Karunakar did not even feel that Yellaiah himself had a sonand that he might be embarrassing Yellaiah by asking him tofind a groom for his daughter. Yellaiah was disturbed.
“That man did not give me a chance to open my mouth,”replied Yellaiah scratching his head.
“Karunakar had the feeling that he was a high official
and an important man. But there was no thought that you werefriends. He has given you a duty to be done as he would aska sub-ordinate or an attendar. Beyond that there is no friendshipinvolved in it. You might be feeling happy that he telephonedto you after a long time. But he did it keeping in mindVasudeva* catching hold of the legs of an ass.
Here Kamalakar is exposed as a time-server, stooping to
serve his ends“ said Rajeswar point blank.
Yellaiah was shocked at the comparison. This angle of
the problem never occurred to him. He had some regard forKarunakar for he was an old friend who belonged to his caste.
Rajeswar’s analysis shocked him to such an extent that hecould not swallow the food he was eating and it got stuck in
his throat. Rajeswar sprinkled water on Yellaiah’s head. Yellaiahcould not but laugh at Rajeshwr’s sentiment, though he himself
was suffering. After he controlled his cough Yellaiah said “Doyou say that I am an ass in his view?”
“If you are not an ass, you are a high class hotel or a TataIndica Car which can be hired for money. By the by, he may
give you a valuable presentation if this match is settled – likecommission in business enterprises. If only he had thought of
the friendship between you two, he would have come to youwith his wife and children and learnt all about your family
and your welfare. Then he would have broached the topic ofthe marriage of his daughter. If he had done so, it would have
been a little honourable and dignified,” concluded Rajeswar.
* Vasudeva was secretly taking away his new born son Lord Sri Krishna tosave the boy from Kamsa, the rakshasa king who was bent on killing the sons ofDevaki. kamsa was afraid that Devaki's son would kill him as foretold by thedivine voice. When Vasudeva was leaving the house with little Krishna, a donkeybrayed. Vasudeva held the forelegs of the donkey appealing it not to bray.
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“He said he would visit me. I’ll take him to a hotel andfeed him there. He will be cured of his ego” said Yellaiah.
“Hell not give you that chance, sir. He will take anA.C.room in a hotel, telephone to you and will ask you to eatwith him showering you with his love and appreciation.”
“How well have you assessed men and analysedKarunakar, Rajeswar! I always entertain the idea that everyperson has good thoughts”
Yellaiah’s appreciation encouraged Rajeswar.
“Because he is the father of a daughter he telephoned toyou. You say he has a son three years older than the girl. Whydid he not ask you to find a match for his boy also?”
When Rajeswar asked him so pointedly his question,Yellaiah was at a loss to explain it. How hard and bitter aretruths! Karunakar telephoned to him with self-interest but hetook it as a call from an old friend. Rajeswar made it crystalclear that there was no fellow-feeling involved in it.
“People are turning out like this”, said Yellaiah and gotup to clean his lunch box.
“This’s what is meant by market economy. The presentculture buys and sells human relations like marketable articles.You teach lessons on this theory. But why don’t you analyseand apply the principles in your life? You call this transactionas love and friendship and deceive yourself.”
Yellaiah felt a fear and pride at Rajeswar who could studya man inside out. As the bell went, he walked into theclassroom.
Returning from school, Yellaiah refreshed himself andhad a cup of tea. He started talking to his wife Lakshmi.
Karunakar was an old friend. If the alliance clicked, all hisproblems will be solved. He spent a lot of money from hispocket for Union activities. He had not saved from his salary.If the alliance gets fixed, though it might not help him, his sonwill enjoy the benefits of life. He dismissed all objections ofRajeswar thinking of his needs.
“If the marriage takes place it would be no doubt nice.But will he think of us for the alliance? Then will the girl ofthat rich family adjust and manage in our house?” askedLakshmi, his wife.
“Who’s staying with the in-laws after marriage thesedays? They will go to the places of their jobs” replied Yellaiahwho could not suppress his desire.
“People like you give value to the time-serving nature,selfishness, love and friendship, caste and the caste equationsof people like Karunakar.” Yellaiah thought he heard Rajeswarsay the words and looked all round. He saw only Lakshmiand none else. He dicided to ask Purushotham and left thehouse. Purushotham had not yet returned home. He came ateight in the night with some papers in hand. Yellaiah repeatedonce again the details and gave the copy of the girl’s bio-datato Purushotham. Purushotham gave the biodata of his son toYellaiah. It was typed on the computer. The boy’s name, hisfather’s name, date of birth, time, height, complexion,qualifications, details about the other members of the family,the job the boy was doing, address for correspondence, phonenumber etc.
“Marriages also, like jobs, are being arranged onapplication forms and bio-datas”, said Yellaiah smiling.
“A marriage is greater than a job. One can take up anynumber of jobs and give them up. You can get transferred if
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you don’t like the town or the city. But we cannot act in thatmanner with the alliances and the relatives. So many moredetails, interviews and care is necessary in the case of marriagescompared with jobs,” explained Purushotham.
“Marriages are made of dowries, status, jobs. This is thetruth that is being followed in our lives to-day,” said Yellaiah.
“Anyway, my son says he would marry after he returnsfrom the States,” informed Purushotham.
Yellaiah could manage to persuade the boy to be availableat home on Sunday by convincing Purushotham and his wifeSunanda.
In the morning on Sunday Yellaiah waited for Karunakar.He kept the room clean by re-arranging things in it. At eightthere was a call from Karunakar’s house. His wife made thecall.
“Sorry please. He had to leave on a tour unexpectedly.He left last night. He wanted me to tell you,” she said and putthe phone down. Yellaiah thought that another alliance, betterthan the present one might have come into their view. Laterhe forgot all about it.
Karunakar telephoned a month later asking Yellaiah tosettle Purushotham’s alliance.
Yellaiah kept making enquiries for Karunakar’s daughter.Purushotham’s son gave the green signal six months after heleft for Sates. Yellaiah’s son took a job as a soft-ware engineerin Bangalore.
Yellaiah went to Hyderabad thinking that the match wouldbe settled for either Purushotham’s son or his own son.
When he reached Karunakar’s house he learnt that
Karunakar’s daughter had been married and left for States aweak ago. “Everything had to be got done in great hurry. Sorry!I could not send wedding invitations also properly” saidKarunakar. He placed the album with the wedding photographsas if to show off his status.
Yellaiah returned home feeling very much hurt andhumiliated. He remembered the telephone calls he made andthe visits he made to people for the marriage alliance forKarunakar’s daughter spending his money.
He spoke of his disillusionment to Purushotham.
“They didn’t send the wedding invitation also. That isthe culture of your friends,” said Purushotham, laughing awaythe matter. It was such a great alliance,” he added.
Next day Rajeswar spoke rediculingly.
“The curry leaf is boiled till its essence is absorbed and isthrown off later. Your friendship with Karunakar is worse thanthis. That is the utility of market economy” said Rajeswarsmiling.
“I’ll not help anyone in finding matches hereafter,” saidYellaiah with defermination.
“That’s not in your hands sir…. Like the presentationsgiven in marriages, like the brides, your friendship will bebought and sold. All this happens without your knowledge.”
Yellaiah let off a deep sigh and then laughed at thechanges that have been overtaking life.
His son insisted on a girl who was equally qualified andYellaiah could not find one to satisfy his son. Purushothamand Yellaiah sent ads in papers separately for brides. Theygave box numbers without giving addresses and the replies
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were received after fifteen days.
Just as a candidate applies for two jobs, there were moreletters which responded to both box numbers.
Both were shocked to find the biodata of Karunakar’ssecond daughter. They wondered why Karunakar did not tellthem about his second daughter.
They imagined they heard Rajeswar making a chucklingnoise. When they turned towards the door Rajeswar enteredthe house saying” namaskaram, sir!”
Eenadu Sunday, 5-11-2000
27
MIRROR OF LIFE
B.S. Ramulu is a writer with a mission. He has a messageto convey. He is deeply concerned with life, particularly withthe life of the people of Telangana and the language theyspeak. The Telangana village is world, also the world as aglobal village. The village is the scene of action and thecharacters, the common folk. His characters are the real livingbeings. The good earth, the friendly soil, the loompit and thejowar field are the forums from which his characters talk andact, who are the past, present and future representatives ofthe society. Ramulu’s literary web is woven around thesepeople, their traditions, trades and travails; their births,education, love, marriage, ill-health, sickness,poverty,prosperity, old age and death. His men and womenare the oppressed, the downtrodden, the greedy and the jealous.The lives he depicts reveal the struggles and failures, theachievements and successes, the happy moments and sadsituations of life. His characters “fall upon the thorns of lifeand bleed”. They talk of their sorrow, tears, sweat and bloodmingled with merriment, smiles, music and dance and thebonds that relationships forge. But the journey of their life isnot a ‘primrose path’. The people who populate his worldsuffer opperssion, humiliation and exploitation by the heartlesslandlords and the lustful ‘chiefs’, officers, money lenders and
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the like from among their own people and from those fromout side.
The story teller takes us back to ancient times, back tohndreds of years, tracing the genealogy and the heritage ofhis poeple about whom he writes, detailing the customs andmanners of the simple men and women, the farmer and theweaver, the labourer and the coolie, the teacher and thebusinessman. The writer develops his themes around thesecommon folks depicting how their lives are evolved andevaluated. The author takes us from the loom pit through jowarfields to globalisation and privatisation and the effects of themodern world on the characters he creates. The story tellerbrings in the impact of Buddism and the other eastern andwestern philosphies in the conversation of the characters. Atthe same time the local Batukamma festivals and the worshipof the village deity Pochamma, garden feasts and marriagecelebrations or described. The women characters, mostlyunlettered and uneducated, opt for feminism in their own waywhile the youth prefer revolution and freedom from bondage.The educated youth, both boys and girls, look forward foropportunities higher and technical education offers them andsome achieve their goal.
His characters - the Mallayyas and Gangadharis, theRajeshams and Babus, the Dubbavas and Saravvas and manyothers are you, me and the author himself. His storiesNagashala, Dakshayagnam, Real Estate, The Neem Tree,Commonwealth, to name a few and the others attain a qualityof writing that take the author to world class writing.
The elderly characters speak the native tongue fallinginto a reverie and a reminiscent mood, reviewing and
recapitulating, comparing and contrasting the old and the new,thus educating the youngsters to appreciate modern times andpraise the virtues of the good old times.
There is no exaggeration in the narration, noembellishments, no imges but truth, nothing but the simpletruth put bluntly with free in the spoken language whichbreathes of honesty and sincertiy. The author holds the mirrorof life to the reader. The mirror does not hide the defects ofthe viewer but tells the viewer to correct and improve his ownimage. The stories of Ramulu make the reader think.
The story teller, like a painter working on a vast and widecanvas, depicts the lives of the people, the simple coloursproviding a stupendous 3D effect, deep and poignant, eachstroke hrobbing with life.
This is heavy and courageous writing, free and frank,written with a strength of conviction coming of deep reading,study and research. His stories are meaty chunks of life, bitterand sweet. The stories are not just stories written to entertain.They are forceful pleadings for a better treatment - politically,economically, and socially- for the people he represents. Thesestories deserve to be read beyond the borders of the state,beyond the shores of the country. I am happy I have beenprovided with an opportunity by the author towards achievingthis goal. The translator has to be doubly careful as thenarrative sometimes runs into the psychological stream, theworkings of the mind being spoken out by the characters. Ihope I could manage to bring out the mind of the author inthe English version. Translating the stories of Ramulu has beenaltogether a different endeavour and experience for mecompared wih the translations I made earlier of other authors.
