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FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING DR. JEN BRANDT Enhancing Resilience
FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING
DR. JEN BRANDT
Enhancing Resilience
Brain Science Fundamentals
Reptilian Brain
Mammalian/Limbic Brain
(amygdala/emotions)
Pre-Frontal Cortex
(regulating behavior)
Neo-Cortex
(learning abilities)
Unsafe Safe
Lizards Respond to Stress
Fight, Flight, or Freeze 1/20th of a second to
go from fully relaxed to fully defensive!
20 minutes for stress hormones to be reabsorbed and rest0re emotional equilibrium.
Activity: Breathing Calms the Reptile (4-7-8)
Sit up tall.
Keep the tip of your tongue behind your upper front teeth.
Inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
Hold your breath for a count of seven.
Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
Do not do more than four breath cycles at one time for the first month of practice.
drweil.com
Scenario: Safe or Unsafe?
You provided feedback to a new colleague about his performance and the impact of his fluctuating mood state at work. The next day he reports the following to you:
1. He is worried that he will not have the same opportunities to learn because you think he is “weak”
2. He believes people do not want him around and that he doesn’t fit in; that you think he is “crazy”
3. He believes he has let everybody down and that you believe he wasn’t worth hiring
*If the employee hadn’t articulated these concerns, how might you have detected that he doesn’t feel safe? What signs could you look for? How are YOU feeling now?
Step 1: The Core Four
Sleep
Nutrition
Hydration
Regular movement
Step 2: Enhanced Self-Awareness
Mantra: Turtle Steps
Activity: Grounding TechniqueChest Rub
Soft tissue over heart
CLOCKWISE motion
Indirectly stimulates vagus nerve
Promotes calming by activating PNS
• Immerse face in cold water (diving reflex)
• Valsalva maneuver
• Singing
http://eiriu-eolas.org
Step 3: Tune In to Your Internal Dialogue
Cognitive Distortions
All or Nothing Thinking
Catastrophizing
Disqualifying the Positive
Shoulds
*Imposter Syndrome
Activity: Corrective Self Talk (1)
Roger recently decided to face his anxiety and ask a woman out on a date. He left a her a message on her voicemail. A few days went by and Roger didn’t hear back from her. He begins to think, “I am a total loser with nothing to offer,” “No one wants to go out with me,” and “I will never find the right person, so why bother.” Roger starts to feel nervous and upset as he considers a future alone.
What could Roger tell himself instead?
http://panicdisorder.about.com/od/livingwithpd/tp/All-Or-Nothing-Thinking.htm
Activity: Corrective Self Talk (2)
Instead of: “Sheesh, I already made a mistake on this report — I’ll never finish it, or if I do, it’ll be so full of mistakes, it won’t matter. I’m getting fired no matter what.”
What could you say instead?
“No, that’s not true. Everybody makes mistakes, I’m only human. I’ll fix this mistake and just try and concentrate a little bit more to try and do better in the future. Nobody’s going to fire me for a mistake or two in a report.”
http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-catastrophizing/
Activity: Corrective Self Talk (3)
When someone praises your appearance or your work, you might automatically tell yourself, "They're just being nice." With one swift blow you mentally disqualify their compliment. You do the same thing to them when you tell them, "Oh, it was nothing, really." If you constantly throw cold water on the good things that happen, no wonder life seems damp and chilly to you!
What could you say instead?
http://boks-funnyfarm.blogspot.com/2008/07/cognitive-distortion-4-disqualifying.html
Step 4: Tune Into Your Attitudes & Behaviors
3 Good Things
Activity: 3 Good Things
• Rank your current sense of safety/ease on a scale of 1-10.
• Take a minute to jot down three things that you are grateful for. Take another minute to focus on all the senses involved in what you have listed. Imagine what you see, hear, feel, smell as you imagine what you are grateful for. As you write, inhale and exhale deeply.
• Re-rank your sense of safety/ease on a scale of 1-10.
1 = Unsafe 10= Safe/Completely at Ease
Step 5: Act “As If”
If you felt more resilient…
• What would you say?
• How would you look?
• How would you act?
• How would someone know you were feeing better?
Step 6: No is Not a Dirty Word!
“When you feel yourself becoming angry, resentful, or exhausted, pay attention to where you haven’t set a healthy boundary.”
Crystal Andrus
Step 7: Check Your Motives!
Unhealthy Motives Motives of Dialogue
Be right
Look good/save face
Win
Punish/blame
Avoid conflict
Learn
Find the truth
Produce results
Strengthen relationships
Motives (Continued)
Crucial Conversations Training Participant Toolkit
Step 8: EFFECTIVE Venting
"People don’t break wind in elevators more than they have to. Venting anger is an emotional expression. It’s similar to emotional [wind breaking] in a closed area. It sounds like a good idea, but it’s dead wrong.”
Jeffrey Lohr
Identify your thoughts
Identify what you need
Identify how you feel
Ask for what you need
Activity: Ask For What You Need
Reflect upon the last time(s) you vented about an experience…
• What story did you tell yourself about what happened?
• What did you need that didn’t happen in that experience?
• What feelings did you have based on your unmet needs?
• Go back in time and imagine yourself asking for what you needed during that experience. What would you say?
Step 9: Fuel Your Spirit
Intentionally recharge
Prioritize self-care
H.A.L.T.
Eat
Breathe
GO TO THE BATHROOM!
Walk/Move
Read
Light a candle
Relax in the tub
Listen to music
ALONE Time!
Time with Friends
Time in Nature
Step 10: Seek Out Other Perspectives
“Successful people access people and resources in their
environment.”
Wrap Up & Next Steps
Self-Care Action Plan
1. Reflect upon what you’ve learned today.
2. Working alone, create an action plan for self care and resilience building that you are willing to try over the next few weeks.
3. Working with members of your support system, share your strategies and elicit any new ideas/tips to incorporate into your plan.
