Welcome back to Everybody Loves Bertie! I bet you thought there wouldn’t be a Chapter

2, didn’t you? Sorry to disappoint you.

To recap: This is my attempt at a Polyamory Project Challenge, created by princedeej28,

full rules available

<url=http://bbs.thesims2.ea.com/community/bbs/messages.php?threadID=2ef7652a4539f

8ececf2e93a6dbd074a&directoryID=128&startRow=1201&openItemID=item.128,root.1,

item.43,item.61,item.104,item.41,item.23>here</url>. The point of the challenge is to

romance more than one Sim and earn enough points to make Hugh Hefner jealous.

Last time, Corey and Vanessa both moved in with Bertie. (Plus points.) Corey caught

Bertie and Vanessa in the hot tub and is now furious with both of them. (Minus points.)

Bertie’s band, Prince of Charming, acquired a patron and everyone moved into a mansion

together. (No points whatsoever.) My current total is 60.

All caught up? Good! Let’s start off with a quick update on the non-Bertie members of

the household. You’ll probably see them in the background sometimes, and you may as

well know who they are.

Gerard Sanders plays bass and provides backing vocals for Prince of Charming. In

college, he got engaged to his girlfriend, skater girl Beverly Mazza. Beverly de-skater-

fied for the wedding.

Zenon Rudelansky is the drummer for Prince of Charming, and provides backing vocals

if they’re in dire straits. In college, he had a thing for one of his professors, one Arianna

Miguel. Coincidentally, she has a thing for drummers.

They didn’t act on this while Zenon was in college. Professional ethics and so forth.

Of course, he isn’t in college anymore.

And I think that pretty soon we’ll have another wedding.

No points for any of this, by the way. Only Bertie can earn points.

Speaking of whom…

Bertie has been diligent in doing his best to repair his relationship with Corey. After

endless rounds of Apologize and Admire, Corey will now accept basic romantic

interactions.

He’ll even initiate (if directed to do so) without all the pissing and moaning that used to

accompany a refusal. But he still flamey-thought-balloons Bertie on a fairly regular basis.

Bertie is aware of this and has written a new song. It’s called “Pieces.”

In your secret room

With your forbidden key

What do you get from her

That you can’t get from me?

Oh

Don’t want to be one of the many

Oh

And for you I bleed

Oh

Don’t want to be part of this nightmare

Can’t give you what you need

You love a piece of her

You love a piece of me

We lie in pieces on your floor

And for you we bleed

Oh

Don’t want to be one of the many

Oh

And for you I bleed

Oh

Don’t want to be part of this nightmare

Can’t give you what you ne –

BERTIE: Cowey? Awe you okay?

COREY: I don’t understand! If you know how I feel, then why are you doing this to me?

BERTIE: Cowey, I – It – I – Cowey, you know I wuv you, but – And – Oh heww. I can’t

expwain.

COREY: But you had it right! I don’t want to be one of the many! I want to be special,

Bertie. I want – I want – (unable to find the words) Dammit!

BERTIE: But you awe speciaw, Cowey! You awe! And I can prove it!

COREY: You can.

BERTIE: Uh-huh. Cowey Jeffwess, wiww you mawwy me?

COREY: Will I what? Have you gone crazy?

BERTIE: No. Wisten: I can onwy be mawwied to one pewson, wight?

COREY: Right…

BERTIE: And that one pewson has speciaw wegaw* wights that nobody ewse has, not

even if I have a hundwed wuvers. Wight?

COREY: I certainly hope you don’t want a hundred lovers.

BERTIE: I don’t even want twenty. That’s not impowtant. What’s impowtant is that I can

onwy have one spouse. Just one. And I want it to be you.

(Long, thoughtful silence)

*That is, “legal.” Bertie’s speech impediment can be a barrier to reading comprehension sometimes.

COREY: I want a pre-nup.

BERTIE: Of couwse.

COREY: And in it I want a cap on the number of lovers you can have.

BERTIE: A cap?

COREY: Yes. No more than…two?

BERTIE: But that’s what I have now! How about six?

COREY: No. That’s too many. Where would we all sleep – on shelving? When I’m not

with you, Bertie, I want my own room.

BERTIE: Okay, that’s faiw. How many more peopwe can we fit and stiww be in

compwiance with the fiwe code?

COREY: No, Bertie, you’re looking at this the wrong way. How many people were you

dating in college?

BERTIE: Um… fouw?

COREY: Four. Then that seems like a good number for a cap. No more than four lovers

including me, and fewer if it would violate the zoning laws.

BERTIE: Done!

COREY: Okay, then. I’ll call my lawyer in the morning.

And while Corey was out talking to his lawyer, Bertie and Vanessa had a little time

alone.

Although Zenon there did sort of inhibit things a little.

The bedroom is much more private.

One thing led to another.

Well, it often does, doesn’t it?

You know, I’m not going to count that first woohoo with Corey. There wasn’t anybody

else in the house, and it just doesn’t seem fair. This at least took some planning.

And I really need to get Bertie a new comforter. Red-on-red just doesn’t show up well.

While Vanessa was napping, Bertie invited over another, ahem, friend from college,

Robert Steele.

Robert is a good guy, plus he threw me twenty points in four minutes. But when Bertie

asked him to move in, I got a pop-up saying “You can only have eight Sims in a

household.”

Actually, you stupid game, I can have ten now that I have Pets. And anyway, I only have

seven: Bertie, Corey, Gerard, Zenon, Professor Arianna, Beverly, and Vanessa. The dog

has his own special slot.

Oh.

Oh, crud. This better not be twins.

Which is where I’ll leave you. I’m expecting to become an auntie in the next two to four

weeks, so there may be a delay, but I’ll see if I can’t have a special feature prepared for

you. (Maybe.)

Just so’s you know: All Bertie’s lyrics are written, copyright, TM, and patent pending by

yours truly. This explains why they’re so awful, but if you happen to make any money off

them, I get half of the gross.

Until next time, Happy Simming!

I have decided to count the engagement as a romantic interaction. Yes, the marriage is

required, and you can’t get married without an engagement. On the other hand, if

Vanessa had walked in on the proposal, there would have been another slapfest, so I think

five points is not out of order.

Score for this round

Woohoo: 30

Adjustment for unfair woohoo last time: -30

Kissing x 7: 35

Assorted romantic interactions x 6: 30

TOTAL: 65

Score as of last round: 60

GRAND TOTAL: 125

Relationship standings (Daily/Lifetime)

Bertie > Corey: 98/98. Portrait is clear. Engaged.

Bertie > Robert: 90/90. Love.*

Bertie > Vanessa: 92/92. Love.

Corey > Bertie: 100/100. Portrait is just under 1/4 red. Engaged.

Corey > Vanessa: 96/43. Portrait is clear. Friends.

Vanessa > Bertie: 92/92. Love.

Vanessa > Corey: 94/66. Friends.

*I can’t see Robert’s scores towards anyone, and I’m not sure the other two know him.

I’ll work on that next time.