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Everybody Loves Bertie, Chapter 4

Date post:28-Jan-2018
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  1. 1. To recap: This is my attempt at a Polyamory Project Challenge, created by princedeej28, full rules available here. The point of the challenge is to romance more than one Sim and earn enough points to make Hugh Hefner jealous. Last time, there were various assorted low-level romantic interactions (plus points), a slapfest (minus points), and two weddings and a birth. (No points whatsoever.) My current total is 145. All caught up? Good! Lets get started. When we last left off, Bertie and Corey were having serious difficulties.
  2. 2. Corey is not dealing with this very well. COREY: Spy on me, will you? Well, Ive had about enough of this lack of respect, and I wont put up with it anymore, do you hear me, you stupid old broad?
  3. 3. He should really pick the targets for his frustration a bit better. JASMINE SCOTT, CRIMINAL MASTERMIND: Excuse me? All I have to do is say the word, and your body will never be found, young man. Youll be the next Jimmy Hoffa or Amelia Earhart. (darkly) You dont want to know what really happened to her, trust me. Although Corey might be furious at them, there are still people who care about him and dont want to see him disappear. Oh, you know what I mean.
  4. 4. Thats why the name of the game is Apologize To Corey Early And Often.
  5. 5. Emphasis on Often. VANESSA: Corey, Im really, really sorry COREY: Yeah, okay, Vanessa. I get it. Thank you for your apology. Again. Can I pee now? VANESSA: Oh. Sorry.
  6. 6. Vanessa is focused on regaining her friendship with Corey to the exclusion of much else. Seriously. She taught Little Bertie to talk, because I forced her to, but most of her autonomous interactions are either Put In Crib (which any adult within a two-mile radius of a tired toddler will do) or a pre-programmed response to Little Berties autonomous Ask interactions.
  7. 7. Bertie spends just as much time playing Apologize to Corey. BERTIE: Cowey, I compwetewy see youw point. Its just not faiw to tweat my lovews diffewentwy. COREY: Well, it depends on whos getting the better deal BERTIE: No, no, its not faiw at aww. I need to be even-handed with evewyone. COREY: You could be biased in my favor, you know. I am your husband. BERTIE: No, no thats a swippery swope. If Im biased towawds my husband, then what about the mothew of my chiwd? What about VANESSA (grumpily): Are you guys going to keep this up all night? Some of us have to work in the morning, you know. COREY and BERTIE (together): Good night, Vanessa.
  8. 8. Bertie seems pretty committed to treating all his partners equally, though. The anti- gravity device on that car wont last much longer if this keeps up.
  9. 9. And unlike some people I could mention, Bertie spends lots of time with his son. BERTIE: Hey thewe, big guy! Awe you paying attention? Huh? Because I think I see the tickwe monstew coming! ALBERT: (shrieks of delighted laughter) And now its time for some Little Bertie picspam! Music, maestro
  10. 10. My lord the Marquis of Carabas My lord the Marquis of Sauerkraut My lord the Marquis of Nowhere-At-All (Mmm-hmm)
  11. 11. My lord the Marquis has rabbits plump My lord the Marquis has a castle fine My lord the Marquis has the sense to learn My lord the Marquis is mine
  12. 12. Who raised him up And guided him to you? Who made him fine And taught him all I knew? Oh A word of thanks is all I ask I love my Marquis with a love so rare Thats why I found him you
  13. 13. My lord the Marquis of Carabas My lord the Marquis of Sauerkraut My lord the Marquis of Nowhere-At-All (Mmm-hmm)
  14. 14. COREY (softly): There, see, Albert? See those three stars in a row, right there? ALBERT (sleepily): Free starz. COREY (softly): Thats right. Those three stars in a row, those are Orions belt. And theres his left shoulder, and thats his right shoulder, and thats the tip of his sword, and that star there is his left knee. See? Orion is right outside the window. ALBERT (barely audible): wion (yawns, snuggles into Coreys shoulder, and starts to snore gently) COREY (to himself, really): Your daddy taught me to recognize Orion when we were in college. We lay on the grass and looked at the stars, and he put his arm around me and pointed out Orions belt Esme, I miss him.
  15. 15. COREY: Bertie, I Im still mad at you, okay? Really mad. I just want to be clear about that. BERTIE: Okay COREY: But I miss you, too. I miss you something awful. I want to try again. If youll let me. BERTIE: Of couwse! But awe you suwe? COREY: I do miss you. I do want to try again. But I want to be the one who sets the pace this time.
  16. 16. And I guess its true that a rising tide lifts all boats.
  17. 17. In the middle of all the dramaz, Little Bertie Grew Up Well, for a cool 20 points.
  18. 18. That got him a hug from his mother. At my prodding, unfortunately. And only after autonomously canceling it out of her queue a few times. Vanessas lucky Bertie likes her, because I sure dont.
  19. 19. COREY: You did good with Albie, hon. Hes growing up so well. BERTIE: Me? I think it was you. Youwe the one who spends aww that time with him. I think he thinks youwe his daddy. COREY: You spend time with him too. And he knows youre his real daddy. BERTIE: Cowey COREY: Just a little more time, okay? Im sorry it must be difficult for you
  20. 20. BERTIE (V.O.): Oh Dont wowwy about me. Weawwy. COREY (V.O.): Really? BERTIE (V.O.): Weawwy. Take aww the time you need. Id feel bad about using Robert if he wasnt so enthusiastic about being used. I really need to find out what his aspiration is.
  21. 21. And eventually COREY: Bertie, I think Im ready to try starting again. BERTIE: You awe? COREY: Yes, I am. Youre still the man I fell in love with, and you just get more attractive everyday. BERTIE (coquettishly): Oh, stop it! Im getting old is what Im getting. COREY: I like older men.
  22. 22. COREY: So Ill have you back if youll have me. BERTIE: Of couwse Iww have you!
  23. 23. COREY: Oh, Ive missed you so much, Bertie! BERTIE: But we wiv in the same house. COREY: Not missed you like that Ive missed you missed you. And in fact
  24. 24. COREY: How long do you think it would take us to warm up the car? BERTIE: With owe without the keys? ALBERT (coming into the room unexpectedly): Why do you need to warm up the car? Are you going for a drive? Where are you going? Can I come? I want to go for a drive too! (Bertie and Corey look at each other and sigh resignedly) COREY: Sure, monkeybutt. Where do you want to go?
  25. 25. And here is where I will leave you, with this pleasant picture of Little Bertie being a refined and polite little boy. This chapters song was The Marquis, by Prince of Charming. I spent all of ten minutes on it, and it no doubt shows. However, if you make any money off it, just remember that I get 50% of the gross. Until next time, Happy Simming! Score for this round Woohoo x 2: 60 Kissing x 5: 20 Assorted romantic interactions x 8: 40 Offspring Grew Up Well: 20 TOTAL: 140 Score as of last round: 145 GRAND TOTAL: 285
  26. 26. I have now beaten the official high score of 200 points. Lets see just how much I can beat it by, shall we? Relationship standings (Daily/Lifetime) Albert > Bertie: 98/100. Best friends. Albert > Corey: 98/85. Best friends. Albert > Robert: 0/0 Albert > Vanessa: 66/65. Best friends. Bertie > Albert: 98/98. Best friends. Bertie > Corey: 98/98. Married, best friends. Bertie > Robert: 100/100. Love. Bertie > Vanessa: 98/98. Love. Corey > Albert: 90/43. Friends. Corey > Bertie: 100/75. Married, best friends. Portrait is 3/8 red. Corey > Robert: 0/0 Corey > Vanessa: 98/60. Friends. Vanessa > Albert: 58/58. Best friends. Vanessa > Bertie: 98/100. Love. Vanessa > Corey: 96/98. Friends. Vanessa > Robert: 0/0
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To recap: This is my attempt at a Polyamory Project Challenge, created by princedeej28, full rules available here. The point of the challenge is to romance more than one Sim and earn enough points to make Hugh Hefner jealous. Last time, there were various assorted low-level romantic interactions (plus points), a slapfest (minus points), and two weddings and a birth. (No points whatsoever.) My current total is 145. All caught up? Good! Let’s get started. When we last left off, Bertie and Corey were having serious difficulties.
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