Extending Hospitality and Receiving the Gifts of People Leaving Northern Wisconsin Center

The Project Homecoming Guidebook for

Faith Communities

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A Publication of People First Wisconsin

Written by Mary Clare Carlson Edited and Formatted by Amy McGrath

Made possible with funds from the

Wisconsin Council on Developmental Disabilities

This publication was funded, in part, by the Wisconsin Council on Developmental Disabilities using federal funds provided under P.L. 106-402 through a grant authorized by the Administration on Developmental Disabilities and the

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The information reported herein was compiled pursuant to the State Plan on Developmental Disabilities. Grantees undertaking projects with Council sponsorship are encouraged to express freely their findings and conclusions. Points of view or opinions do not, therefore, necessarily represent the

official position or policy of the Wisconsin Council on Developmental Disabilities.

October, 2004

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Contents ______________________________________ • About Project Homecoming • Introduction • Call to Action

• Project Homecoming’s Mission

• History of Disability and Institutions

• How to Organize Your Resettlement Efforts to

Support People Leaving Northern Wisconsin Center • Getting to Know the Person First

• “Hands On” Suggestions for Supporting a Person Who

Left Northern Wisconsin Center • Sustaining Relationships and Support Over Time

• Resources

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ABOUT PROJECT HOMECOMING Project Homecoming grew out of a project between the Wisconsin Council on Developmental Disabilities and People First Wisconsin. Both organizations wanted to offer a personal and unique response to the individuals who were relocating from Northern Wisconsin Center and their guardians. Inspired by the work of the Faith Inclusion Network and refugee resettlement efforts, the idea for Project Homecoming was born. Project Homecoming is a group of clergy, lay ministers, members of faith communities, community builders, parents and self-advocates who care about strengthening our local communities by ensuring all people are welcomed, valued and able to “live their gifts” in the community. Project Homecoming looks to connect faith communities with persons leaving Northern Wisconsin Center. Project Homecoming believes that faith

communities can be powerful allies when working in collaboration with family and paid support staff to ensure a person’s happiness and safety in the community. Project Homecoming believes that faith communities can provide a familiar and friendly place of welcome for people with disabilities who are new to a community. Members of faith communities can act as bridges to the wider community and create opportunities for meeting new people and forming new friendships. If you would like more information or would like to join the efforts of Project Homecoming you can call the Wisconsin Faith Inclusion Network at 1-608-267-3909 or send an email to projecthomecoming@juno.com or call People First Wisconsin toll-free at 1-888-270-5352 and ask for Mary Clare Carlson.

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Introduction At the heart of all faith traditions is the gift of hospitality or welcome to the stranger. Refugee resettlement initiatives support people who are relocating to the United States to build new and more hopeful lives. Faith communities are now called to embrace a new resettlement model. Citizens with disabilities who were, many years ago, removed from their communities and admitted to state-run institutions, are now being given the opportunity to return to their home communities and build new and more hopeful lives. These citizens with disabilities will have many experiences similar to foreign refugees. Some will have lost contact with some or all of their family members. Some will have experienced abuse or neglect over the years. Many of these citizens with disabilities have experienced a complete loss of control over their lives, where choices of where and how to live was long ago made by someone else. Like foreign refugees, language and communication may be difficult for them. They will need to find housing and medical services. They will need to find jobs or other meaningful activities to fill their days.

The people living in the community will largely be strangers to them, and vice versa. They will be frightened about the changes taking place in their lives. Yet, these citizens with disabilities moving from Northern Wisconsin Center will be full of hope. Faith communities are places of hope. They can provide a familiar and friendly place of welcome for people moving from the state-run centers. Faith communities can be a bridge to the wider community and of supportive friendships. Faith communities can be powerful allies when working in collaboration with the families and paid support staff of people moving from Northern Wisconsin Center.

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Call to Action The following are some reflections from clergy and self-advocates across Wisconsin about the value of faith communities welcoming the gifts of persons with disabilities. Some of the reflections are personal. All of the reflections remind us of the key role that faith communities can play in the resettlement of people leaving Northern Wisconsin Center and making new homes in the community. Hopefully these reflections will inspire all of us to grow in our faith and will call us to put that faith into action. “A favorite hymn that spans many of the Christian traditions begins each verse with the phrase ‘Just as I am’ and ends each verse with the phrase ‘I come, I come.’ We have sung this song in our congregation for many years. We have preached and studied the message of God’s unconditional love for us. Yet the most effective teachers of that message to our congregation have been those with disabilities, especially those with significant and life-long disabilities. I remember Alan, who moved to our community from Northern Wisconsin Center. Alan was a living lesson in authenticity. He was authentically glad to be in community every time he was

at church. It never occurred to him to act pious or perfect. He never worried about being liked or loved by the community or by God. He simply trusted that he was. He came to church, prayed, sang with feeling (even if out of tune), received the sacrament, did volunteer work and enjoyed his place of belonging here at Saron.

Alan was a lesson for each of us in the art of self-acceptance. The gift Alan gave us was more powerful than anything we gave him. He helped us to live in front of God with authenticity. The wonderful thing is that while he was uniquely Alan, the gifts, which he brought to the congregation, are often found in people with similar disabilities and different

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abilities. Since Alan passed away, our community has received and welcomed two others who teach us the same lessons and give us similar gifts. They give us, the gift of acceptance, the gift of

confidence in God’s love for us, the gift of loving the community and the gift of authenticity. What congregation can afford to pass up such gifts?”

Pastor Jim Kasperson Saron Lutheran Church, Ashland, WI

“My name is Barry Kress. I am 42 years old. My challenges include a seizure disorder, Tourette’s Syndrome and clinical depression. I am a member of People First Wisconsin. I live in Milwaukee. I am of the Jewish faith and I made my Bar Mitzvah in 1975. I go to services on Saturdays at the Jewish Home. Rabbi Pontas is my rabbi. He has helped me in so many ways especially since my mother’s death. My faith has sustained me through some truly awful times. I have experienced much grief and loss. My Jewish faith is what I have held on to. Respect and dignity have been wonderful gifts that I have received from belonging to the Jewish community. Making my Bar Mitzvah was so important to my self-esteem and sense of

worth. My family and my rabbi were so proud of me. Other people with more significant disabilities than mine can make their Bar Mitzvah. Everyone needs a place to belong and be valued. We all need to serve God no matter our limitations. Even Moses had a speech impediment. No one is perfect. God chooses to work through our imperfections.”

Barry Kress Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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“I was hungry, and you gave me some food. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’”

Matthew 25:35-36 Christians have pondered these words of Christ from the earliest days of the faith to present times. They are challenging words. They remind us of a very central tenet of our faith: Christ is to be found in those who are seeking to belong. He is present to us in those who seek our fellowship and friendship. In other words, Christ has situated himself right in the middle of our human family.

When our congregations reach out to someone making the transition from life within an institution to life within a community, we are taking the words of Jesus to heart. Our church families can offer the nourishment of acceptance and

support. We can help those who are moving into new life and new beginnings to feel that they are strangers no longer. And in time we learn that those we have welcomed have always been one of us. We can offer those beginning a life of new hope and freedom, outside of an institution, one of the most precious, holy gifts of all: we can say to that person, in the name of Christ, “Welcome! You are a member of this community, and we need you, and your gifts, and your struggles, so that together we can more fully be the Body of Christ.” The poet Robert Frost wrote, “Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in.” Jesus tells us that we are to welcome all in his name. As our brothers and sisters are making the change from institutional life to life in our midst, they need to know the reality of “home”. Let’s pray that our faith communities can find meaningful and hopeful ways to aid in that process. Our mission, our ministry, and our very lives depend on how we respond to just such a call.”

Fr. Scott Leannah St. Mary’s Episcopal Church

Dousman, Wisconsin

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“My name is Lisa Gilson. I live in my own apartment. I have four different part-time jobs working in the community. I like to say I have “challenges” instead of “disabilities”. I like to say I have “Up Syndrome” instead of “Downs Syndrome” because it is more positive and that keeps me more positive. I am a member of People First Wisconsin. I belong to Holy Family Catholic Church. I serve as a lector and as a Eucharistic minister. I also play guitar at church. About three years ago, I took vows in the Secular Third Order of St. Francis. I was inspired to join the Third Order by other members. I saw how they publicly declared their love for God and I thought I can do that too! I also wanted to be close to God like St. Francis and St. Clare. I would like to tell everyone that I have been totally accepted by my faith community. It is good for people with challenges to be with the rest of the community.

If given a chance we are able to do many things. If given the opportunity we can accomplish so many things. Even people who have a lot more challenges than I do, have a place in our faith communities. No matter how much someone understands, God is still in their heart. Jesus has given me many talents and is helping me use them. You and your faith community can help people with challenges to discover their talents and help them to use them.”

Lisa Gilson

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Project Homecoming’s Mission Project Homecoming is a group of clergy, lay ministers, community builders, members of faith communities, parents and self-advocates who care about strengthening our local communities by ensuring all people are welcomed, valued and able to “live their gifts”. Project Homecoming believes that a community that has no place for people who cannot speak, or walk or do higher mathematics is impoverishing itself. When a community cuts itself off from people with disabilities, it also denies part of

what it means to be human. By welcoming people with disabilities, the community is strengthened. By embracing the gifts of people with disabilities, the community is enriched. Project Homecoming works to create partnerships with faith communities, people moving out of Northern Wisconsin Center, their families and paid support staff. Project Homecoming can help your faith community to identify how it can best contribute to this new resettlement model.

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History of Disability and Institutions Over a hundred years ago, states in this country created institutions to serve people with disabilities. At that time, institutions were the states best efforts to humanely respond to the needs of persons with disabilities and their families. Times have changed. There have been tremendous advances in medicine, technology and service practices. This has led a majority of states in this country to begin closing their state-run institutions and serve people with disabilities in the community. Now communities have the opportunity to benefit from the gifts and talents of persons with disabilities – the gifts and talents that have been hidden too long by segregated settings and limiting stereotypes. People who will be moving out of Northern Wisconsin Center have developmental disabilities. This can mean many different things. Some people may have difficulty in walking. Others may have difficulty in using their hands. Some people read others do not. Some people have difficulty with their vision, others their hearing. Some people need to be on the

move and have trouble sitting still. Some people need encouragement to go out. Some people can speak with their voice, others use sign, some use technology and still others use their behavior to communicate. All of them have some difficulty in learning. All of them need some assistance in their daily living. Every faith community must get to know each unique individual that they welcome. Getting to know the person first and their disability label second is the key. Some people may say they have “special needs” but that is misleading. All of their needs are quite ordinary, like food, shelter, clothing, transportation, love, friendship, safety, and a sense of belonging. Their needs may be quite ordinary but often they require extraordinary means to meet those needs. Paid community supports can meet many of those needs. But love, friendship and belonging must be given freely by other community members. This is where faith communities are crucial. Faith communities can respond with extraordinary means to show people love and give them a place to belong.

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How to Organize Your Resettlement Efforts

to Support People Leaving Northern Wisconsin Center There are many different ways that a faith community can respond to the resettlement needs of people leaving Northern Wisconsin Center. The following ideas are merely guidelines. Your faith community can choose one or combine them or create your own - whatever best utilizes the gifts and talents of your unique faith community.

Family Sponsorship Family sponsorship involves the commitment of an individual or family to act as a “bridge” between the person moving from Northern Wisconsin Center and the faith community. The family will develop a personal relationship with the

person and will introduce that person to others in the faith community. The family will support the person in participating in activities in the faith community and the larger community as well.

Resettlement Team A resettlement team is made up of a variety of volunteers from the faith community who are committed to meet together over time to help connect the person moving from Northern Wisconsin Center to the faith community. The resettlement team will develop a welcome plan that addresses the needs of the person moving from

Northern. This will include such things as outreach and hospitality, assistance in finding resources like housing, employment and medical services, coordinating donations of household items, and informing the faith community of the social justice issues persons with disabilities face very day.

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Circle of Friends A Circle of Friends is a group of people who agree to meet on a regular basis, over time, to help the person moving from Northern Wisconsin Center to achieve certain personal goals. The Circle will be a diverse group of faith

community members, the person’s family, friends and paid support staff as well as other citizens from the community. Project Homecoming can offer facilitation assistance in this process.

Getting to Know the Person First

Spend some time with the person. Often the person will not be able to use words to tell you about his/her life. Observe what makes the person smile and laugh. Observe what frustrates the person, causes anger or anxiety. Go see where the person lives. Meet the paid support staff. See what the person does during the day. Ask to hear stories about the person from family members or others who value the person. Ask to look at photo albums.

You must always go beyond the label to get to know the individual person. Search for similarities between your personalities – it may surprise you.

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This section contains suggestions for supporting a

person who has moved to your community from Northern Wisconsin Center. These activities can be

done before the person has moved, during the actual move and/or after the person has moved.

It is hoped that the faith community will get to know the person before they move and continue the relationship with the person after the move.

The categories of support are as follows:

DONATIONS AND CONTRIBUTIONS

CONNECTIONS RELATIONSHIPS

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Donations

I Gather donations of new household items that the person may need – this is a great activity for school-age children and teenagers

I Offer a collection to help offset the cost of

the specialized transportation services the person needs

I Hold a fundraiser to raise money to pay for

accessibility modifications for the person’s home or for needed accessible technology

I Get donations from local businesses of

material and/or labor to help make home modifications

I Hold a fundraiser to purchase software that

helps a person with little or no reading skills to use a computer

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Contributions Here are some examples of how a person who has moved from Northern Wisconsin Center could contribute to your faith community. Maybe you can use them or maybe they will ignite your creativity to develop some examples of your own.

I A person could be a greeter/minister of hospitality at your faith services.

I A person could help prepare and serve meals to people who are homeless.

I A person could help set up or clean up for activities at your faith community like fish fries and spaghetti dinners.

I A person could be part of a choir even if the person cannot read music – like playing the tambourine or the triangle.

I A person could be a lector - if needed a support person could stand beside the person to help with any difficult words.

I A person could help stuff bulletins and assist with large mailings.

I A person could be a part of processions. I A person could help clean the worship space. I A person could help with collections.

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I A person could volunteer to help with projects of the faith community such as Habitat for Humanity.

I A person could help with child care.

Get to know the person and try to build upon the person’s gifts and talents

I A person who likes to stir could help in the kitchen.

I A person who has a great smile could be a greeter.

I A person who loves music could help with the choir.

I A person who needs things to be straightened could help clean up.

I A person who likes children could help with child care.

I A person who likes folding paper could help with mailings.

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Connections

I Identify good neighbors, realtors and landlords to assist in locating suitable housing

I Identify local doctors and dentists that will accept Medical Assistance

I Identify resources at your faith community like a parish nurse that could benefit the person

I Identify companies that could employ the person or provide a work experience

I Identify possible volunteer opportunities for the person

I Identify activities in your faith community that the person could participate in

I Identify activities in the larger community that the person could participate in

I Identify persons in your faith community who might be interested in being hired to support the person

I Identify persons in your faith community who might be interested in developing a friendship with the person

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Relationships

I Offer rides to the person

I Offer to sit with the person during faith services

I Offer to help the person volunteer at your faith community

I Offer to develop a friendship with the person

I Offer to celebrate holidays and birthdays with the person

I Offer to hang out with the person at the local coffee shop or mall

I Offer to do arts and crafts with the person

I Offer to cheer on the person at Special Olympics events

I Offer to go to concerts, plays and movies with the person

I Offer to bake cookies with the person

I Offer to garden with the person

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Empowerment through Relationships One of the most important things that your faith community can do is to empower the person who has moved from Northern Wisconsin Center. Supporting the person so that they can contribute to the community is crucial to your hospitality efforts. If all one receives is charity, one never truly becomes a member of the community and the community is impoverished. One must be a contributing member of one’s community – no matter how small that contribution is. Get to know the person and try to avoid situations that are difficult for them. Some people do better with one-on one attention and struggle in large group settings. Some people are shy and like to work behind

the scenes. Some people are bold and need to be part of the action. Some people love being in large groups. Some people love lots of noise. Some people need a quieter space. Get to know the person. Theologian Henri Nouwen stated it very well when he wrote, “The question is not ‘how can we help people with disabilities?’ The more important question is ‘how can people with disabilities give their spiritual gifts to us and call us to love?’” We all bring our unique gifts to the table. It is important that all those gifts are valued and welcomed. This is especially true for those whose gifts have been overlooked for so long.

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Sustaining Relationships and Support Over Time

Simple things hold people together. Simple things like sharing places, meals and celebrations. Reciprocity, a free exchange of help and support, holds people together. Sharing songs, dances, rituals and traditions are also important. Faith holds people together. So does sharing stories that carry memories and values.

If the things that hold us together are so simple, how come we so often fall apart and grow distant? Simple things hold us together but the simple things require an investment of time. It is not so much what we DO for each other but that we make time to simply BE with each other. The people moving from Northern Wisconsin Center are no different. They need you to be with them not

worrying so much about what you can do for them.

Being with someone whose vulnerabilities are so visible can be challenging. To touch another person’s vulnerability, one must come face to face with one’s own vulnerabilities and limitations – and accept them. This will be one of the greatest gifts that people moving from Northern Wisconsin Center will give your faith community – and the most difficult for your community to receive.

As your faith community journeys with this person who has moved from Northern Wisconsin Center, remember that any one friendship/relationship will be more successful over time if it is surrounded and interwoven with many other relationships/ friendships. Share the journey.

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Resources

If you want to make connections with disability resources in your community, the following groups can help you. ARC Wisconsin 1-877-272-8400 People First Wisconsin

1-888-270-5352

Project Homecoming Wisconsin Faith Inclusion Network

1-608-267-3909

Wisconsin Council on Developmental Disabilities

1-608-266-7826

Wisconsin Coalition for Advocacy

1-800-708-3034

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