Extreme Report 3

8/11/2019 Extreme Report 3

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Extreme CaseTurnaround Report

The Extreme Worst Case Scenario Turnaround Report


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Alicias words were beginning to slur, as she cried heavil into the phone! "ann couldnt even

ma#e out what it is that she was even saing, but somehow she had managed to clearl

s$uea# through the phone, but % love ou, how could ou do this to me, pausing a&ter 'ust

long enough &or him to hear the sound o& her suc#ing the snot bac# into her nose, be&ore she

continued wailing even harder into the phone!

This time her words were unintelligible, as he listened &or another minute, to her simpl cr, in

a wa that he could onl compare to that o& a don#es bra, as she struggled to gasp &or air

ever &ew seconds, onl to release it all again with one long winded and wavering cr a&ter

another!

This was getting old! "ann had alread been on the phone &or two hours, tring to calm her

down! %t was ( )!*!, and S+E had called him out o& nowhere, demanding an answer to a

$uestion he had long since &orgotten!

The onl thing he #new now was that his answer to her, in his exhausted ( )!*! stupor, was

apparentl not enough! %& anthing it had ignited another argumentative &ire within her that

onl made "ann wish that he could somehow extinguish her desire to seemingl want to

punish him ever wa#ing moment!

Somewhere in the span o& the hours, he had tried to reason with her, onl to &ind that she

somehow managed to twist his words around even more, ever single time, alwas &indingwas to prove him wrong, even i& he was telling the truth!

That was when, "ann made the executive decision to simpl 'ust tr and tell )licia what she

wanted to hear! %t was late, alread, and he didnt even #now what she was so upset about

anmore! )ll he #new, was that his ees were burning, he had a massive headache, and she

was 'ust going to sit there, balling her &ace o&& on the other end!

So he did the onl logical thing he could do! +e put the phone down in another room, being

care&ul not to hang up completel, because he #new that i& he did, )-- hell would brea# loose!

Then, he went to bed!

%t was about a hal& hour later, when he was awo#en b the obnoxious ringing o& his phone! +e

#new exactl who it was that was calling! %t was now ./(0 )!*! +e needed to sleep! +e had

alread staed up with her till 1 )!*! tal#ing things out, onl to have her call bac# at ( )!*!


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%t was now approaching 2 )!*! and he still had barel gotten an sleep! Where she got this

3energ &rom to expend on such useless things, "ann had no clue, but he #new that &or now

he had onl one option! +e was going to turn his phone o&&!

%t was the onl sound thing to do, at this point, a&ter exhausting all other opportunities! +e

had tried to reason with her! +e had tried to be nice! +e had tried to be patient! +e had tried

everthing that he could, but )licia 'ust wasnt going to listen to reason!

4inall, he &ound himsel& able to slin# bac# to sleep, i& onl &or a short while! The anxiet and

stress alone made it di&&icult to manage even 'ust an hour o& solid sleep a&ter that!

Wa#ing up in a tangled web o& anxiet and irritating at the absurdit o& it all, "ann couldnt

seem to pull himsel& bac# to realit! Emotionall he &elt li#e he had been pulled through a

wringer! The night be&ore, "ann had ta#en her out, &or a night out in the town!

The had gone together to an upscale lounge, and "ann had even ta#en extra care to put on

a new suit that night, 'ust &or )licia! +e had even brought her &lowers, as a courtes, to remind

her that he still li#ed to court her li#e a lad, even though he had #nown her now, $uite

intimatel, &or well over a ear!

What was supposed to be a night o& pleasure and &un, however $uic#l turned sour, when

)licia had suddenl threw a temper tantrum out o& nowhere, in the middle o& the lounge,

accusing "ann o& wanting to sleep with the waitress, elling at him, loudl, how she hadsupposedl 3seen how he was loo#ing at the waitress, up and down!

)&ter preparing and planning this night all &or her, "ann couldnt $uite piece together how it

was that it had turned sour so $uic#l, and more important, he rushed a&ter )licia, to $uic#l

recti& the situation! This night, a&ter all, was all &or her!

This was her &avorite restaurant! This was exactl what she had as#ed &or! Wh was she being

so mood all o& a sudden5

Ta#ing care o& the bill as $uic#l as he could, amongst all o& the chaos and embarrassment,

"ann did &ind one relieving &actor at least, in that she couldnt 'ust leave, because &ortunatel

he had put the car #es in his pants poc#et! So there she was, standing on the curb, balling her

ees out!


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Tring to approach her, in an ever so con&used wa, "ann reached to console her, onl to &eel

a piercing 'ab around his bac#! She had begun hitting him with her clutch purse, the chain,

winding itsel& around his bod, each time that she swung it his wa!

6racing &or impact, the onl thing that he could do now, was to scream at her, and as# her i&

she was cra7, and to demand her to tell him what was wrong with her!

This onl in&uriated her more, until the next thing he #new, she was slumped into a ball on the

ground, wailing! 8aturall b this time, a crowd had gathered outside o& the lounge,

astonished at the dramatic scene ta#ing place be&ore their ees!

9ncertain what to do next, "ann$uic#l tried to pull )licia up o&& o& the ground, onl to have

her rip her arm out o& his hands, and ell "ont touch me:, at him so harshl, that some o&

the people &rom the audience began to become alarmed!

Thats when a couple o& larger men had stepped in, threatening to hurt "ann i& he laid

another hand on her, assuming that she was cring in a crumpled mess on the curb, because

he had done something to her!

% didnt do anthing: This is cra7, he elled, ensuring that )licia could hear him through the

commotion o& the now large crowd gathered around them, onl to &ind that she was still going

to sit there and ignore him!

)licia5 *an! This is insane! % am going home! *an! ;ou do whatever now, %m done:, he had

said, clear enough to see her turn bac#, 'ust long enough to cast a slight ga7e o& horror his wa!

+e #new the words had sun# in, b the loo# on her &ace! She was going to regret this now! +e

$uic#l drove awa, leaving her there on the curb! +e didnt want to get beat up, or thrown in

'ail &or something he didnt even do!

)ll he wanted was to ta#e her out &or a beauti&ul night out together, but once again, )licia had

managed to turn that into a gong


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When she was calm and decent, she was eas to love, and be com&ortable around! %n &act she

was a beauti&ul woman, in that state! 6ut the problem was, the $uestion o& W+E8 was she

going to be that wa! )lmost alwas, it was an intense guessing game &or "ann as he tried to

piece together or &igure out whether or not each passing moment was going to turn into some

#ind o& explosive situation!

%t was not li#e )licia had a lot o& reason to her rhme! )lmost alwas i& she exploded or made a

scene, it was at the most unpredictable times! Everthing could be going right, but the next

thing "ann #new, was that she was accusing him o& being a pig, a 'er#, or o& cheating on her!

)ll #inds o& accusations would &ire through, as she suddenl was mad at him &or something

else, and even in times when he was literall 'ust sitting there, minding his own business, shed

come in and &ind was to accuse him o& doing something wrong!

=uestions li#e, +owcome ou are ignoring me, or +owcome ou arent spending as much

time with me anmore, would stab through a seemingl normal conversation, suddenl, as

shed critici7e him over and over again &or all #inds o& little problems that shed convenientl

notice!

"ann was beginning to &eel li#e he was dealing with a drama $ueen, and he didnt exactl

mind that either! +e loved a woman who didnt settle &or ever little realit, and he especiall

loved a woman with a little pi7a77, but this was turning into a nightmare! )licia was ta#ing it

&rom one extreme to another now, and all at his cost!

+e was the onl one su&&ering! She alwas seemed to get what she wanted, even though, he

was starting to reali7e that nothing reall pleased her anwa, at least she got all o& the

attention, time, and basicall anthing else she could desire &rom him!

+e was her doormat, and it was ver clear!

6ut this night, had been the &inal straw, a&ter months o& endless dramatic behaviour &rom)licia! She was treating him li#e crap time and time again, and all he had ever done, was tr to

be reasonable or nice to her, even given the circumstances!

+e decided that it was time to ta#e a brea#! %t was time &or )licia to grow up, because "ann

didnt want to be dealing with a child anmore in the relationship! +e wanted a real woman,

one who could pull her own emotional weight, and one who wouldnt be so 'ealous, angr,


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cling, demanding, obsessive, impulsive, or insecure!

+e had made it so clear to her that he loved her, and onl wanted to be with her, et she 'ust

didnt want to trust him, believe him, or accept him! %t was ver clear at this stage, a&ter the

scene she made at the lounge!

%t had actuall been their one ear anniversar, and he was planning on proposing, but she

had ta#en things to the extremes et again! )ssuming the worst, as alwas, )licia had

completel blown everthing out o& context, when "ann had leaned in to whisper to the

waitress, that it was time!

9nable to catch his 3exact words, )licia had instantl assumed the worst, and had actuall

threw her glass o& champagne in his &ace, and had then gotten up, and proceeded to scream at

him about it all! The waitress o& course, could onl stand there in shoc#, reali7ing what was

going on, and #nowing that it was an obvious misunderstanding!

"ann didnt even have time to retrieve the ring, and had actuall le&t the lounge, without it!

Thats the #ind o& panic that )licia brought into the mix, but she seemed to do that all o& the

time! The relationship had become this volatile realit now o& all o& her insecurities, doubts,

&ears, as even dar#er demons that seemed to lur# within )licia, began to show their ugl &ace

more and more!

Reali7ing once and &or all that )licia simpl didnt care about him, the wa that he cared abouther, "ann decided, with a heav heart that mabe it was time to step bac# &rom her, and the

relationship, &or his own health and sa&et!

+e had tried everthing that he possibl could, but she was 'ust unreasonable at this stage,

and so, when she &inall called him at 1 )!*! he told her $uite bluntl, the truth! )t &irst, she

didnt den it! She agreed to it all, admitting that she reali7ed she was hard to handle, and

apologi7ing pro&usel!

6ut this time, "ann wasnt going to ta#e her sweet tal#, or suc#ing up was, as he made it

abundantl clear now that he wanted to brea# up with her, so that she could ta#e the time to

wor# on those areas &irst, be&ore she as#ed &or more &rom him, a&ter that!

Seeming to slightl understand, et clearl upset, )licia hung up the call, agreeing to tr to do

that, and promising that she loved him and would tr hard!


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>& course, in natural )licia stle, she o& course bro#e her promise onl a &ew hours later,

when she called him onl to blame him &or everthing, call him sel&ish et again, and as# him

how he could do that to her, once more!

)gain, it was all about her! )ll dramatic!)ll the time! There was no room &or "ann to breathe,or even sleep now, even i& he wanted to, because )licia was simpl an energ suc#er, and mind

games plaer!

Tr hard as she ma, a&ter that point, no amount o& convincing, sweet tal#, begging, pleading,

cring, or wailing would wor# anmore on "ann, and tr, oh tr, did she ever, to reach him,

a&ter he &inall turned his phone o&&!

6ut to no avail! "ann allowed his voice mail to get &ull, and le&t all o& her emails unanswered!+e even began renting a hotel, 'ust to ensure that she had as little access to him as possible!

+e #new that staing home, meant that she might tr to ta#e desperate measures! %t was not

unusual &or her to camp outside o& his door, when the had been &ighting in the past, waiting

&or him to give in, and open it up!

+e too# time o&& o& wor#, even, &or the &irst time in a long time, 'ust to ensure that she

couldnt reach him there either! Than#&ull, he was &riends with the secretar, who was #ind

enough to let him #now, that she was calling his wor# li#e cra7, tring to reach him there too,

and tring to chec# in on his whereabouts!

%t was becoming clear, a&ter a span o& about wee#s o& an even more intense reaction &rom

)licia, as she tried to get a hold o& him, through extreme means, even b contacting all o& his

&riends and &amil, that, she reall was not going to even remotel tr and listen to the

reasoning that he had given her, when it came to the reasonable changes he had as#ed her to

tr and ma#e!

She was going to once again, ma#e it all about hersel&, and was going to ignore everthing hesaid! %t was about at this point, that "ann received a call &rom his mother, as#ing him wh he

was ignoring his girl&riend, when she was pregnant with his child!

Con&used, and assuming that )licia was plaing extreme mind games again, the onl thing he

could do et again, was apologi7e out o& embarrassment &or her odd behaviour, but he

couldnt 'ust assume at this stage that she wasnt either!


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%t had been about a month since the had bro#en up, and it was possible that this was perhaps

true! She had been &eeling &unn be&ore the brea#up, and he #new that! 4eeling an intense

dread inside, he &inall agreed to meet her, this time with one o& his best &riends present, to

help ma#e sure that )licia at least tried to remotel control her emotions, especiall i& she

#new that a mutual &riend was present!

+oping &or a $uic# resolve, "ann was not prepared &or what happened next! )s the sat down

together, it didnt ta#e )licia long, as usual, to get straight to the dramatic point! %ve been

ling to ou, she said, in a cold and piercing tone!

This will all ma#e sense once % tell ou the truth, but % want ou to #now that it was a mista#e,

and % never did it to hurt ou, she explained!

4eeling an intense pressure mounting up inside o& his gut, "ann onl wished in that moment,&or the next words that came out o& her mouth, to be digestible, at least! +ow wrong could he

have been, however, when the next words that escaped &rom her lips, were li#e daggers aimed

right at his heart!

% cheated on ou! %m so sorr?! The words a&ter that trailed o&&, into an abss, as those @

simple words replaed bac# in his mind over and over again!

Tring to come to terms with it, he repeated it aloud, 'ust to ma#e sure he heard her correctl,ou?ou? cheated on me5, he as#ed!

;es! 6ut % am so


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those people was his own &riend! The other was a girl he had been emotionall invested in &or

a long time!

4eeling li#e he could #noc# the living da lights out o& this pric#, "ann thought better o& it,

$uic#l opting to leave, ensuring that he sped o&& $uic#l, to get out o& there as $uic#l as

possible be&ore he ended up hurting somebod too!

+e wasnt the #ind o& gu who li#ed to hurt people, but the temptation at this point was

higher than ever! So man thoughts raced through his mind now!

8ot onl did )licia treat him li#e crap, but she apparentl &elt li#e he should &eel li#e crap too,

b &urther cementing in one &inal thing! %t wasnt enough 'ust to brea# up, she had to get the

&inal, last sa, didnt she5

>bviousl she had lied about being pregnant, 'ust to get him down there, so she could have

another last laugh at his expense!

"ann &elt li#e a &ool now, as he replaed bac# ever moment o& their relationship together,

now &eeling so naBve about it all! +e had trusted in this woman! Sure, she was a lot to handle,

and she could be reall cruel? but he was 8EER in his wildest dreams expecting her to ta#e it

to this level!

+e had been wanting the best &or her, and had been patientl waiting, in hopes that she would

come bac# down to earth, and reali7e that he trul did care &or her!

Thats all he had wanted! 6ut instead, she decided to rip his heart out and to smash it into a

million little tin pieces! 8ot onl had she ta#en his love &rom him, but she had ta#en one o&

his &riends too! +ere he had thought, that this other gu was a good &riend!

+e didnt #now what to thin# anmore o& the people around him! Clearl he was attracting the

wrong #ind o& people!

)&ter this, he ignored her calls &or months, opting to never address, spea# o&, or bring up that

level o& pain ever again, deciding instead, to bur it! +e didnt want to #now o& )licia anmore,

and 'ust simpl wanted to &orget her!


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)nger swept through him li#e a tsunami reaching &or the shore! %t consumed him &or what &elt

li#e an eternit, as he began tring to date other women, onl to &ind that +E had become the

'ealous, possessive, and need one now in the relationship, as he struggled to trust women

again!

Tring to gain an #ind o& traction, now &elt li#e an impossible tas#, in his li&e! )licia had dealthim an un&air blow! +e had trusted her, loved her, and had given everthing to her!

;et it had not been enough!

8o other woman now, could be enough, because o& her! +ow could she have been so sel&ish5

+ere he was, read to give her the world, and she instead, was tring to get it &rom some

other gu, right under his nose!

Clearl she never loved him, or respected him! Calling her up in a drun#en stupor one night,

"ann &inall let loose all o& his anger, &rustration, and pain onto )licia, and strangel to his

surprise, she listened to all o& it!

Even more strange, was the &act that she didnt even argue it, but she too# it, almost li#e a

man would have! +e called her name a&ter name, and spewed insult a&ter insult, and et, shed

come bac#, calml conveing that she understood, even going as &ar as to explain wh it was

that she #new he was saing those things!

)ngered even more at the &act that she was right, and how she was again calling the shots,

"ann onl &urther insulted her, reminding her that she didnt #now how he &elt at all, because

she wasnt the one who was cheated on!

)dmitting et again to her mista#e, this time )licia could onl o&&er what sounded li#e a

sincere apolog, but "ann was having none o& it! +anging up on her, he spent the rest o& the

night tring to drin# awa the entire conversation, onl to &ind that the next morning, even in

his hung over state that the conversation still lingered in his mind!

%t continued to linger again, over the course o& the next &ew das, as well, onl driving "ann

madder, as he tried to wor# out wh it was that i& he didnt care about her anmore, that a

conversation li#e that would linger in his mind!

9nable to &ind resolve et again, he &ound himsel& calling her that ver night, this time, sober,

to reall &igure out what it is that was going on! This time, he repeated himsel&, about how


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hurt he &elt, about how betraed he &elt, about how it was hard to trust women!

)licia again, onl agreed, once more avoiding an #ind o& argument, and this time sounding

even more mature than she did be&ore! She even began to admit to things, be&ore he even had

the chance to blame her &or it, and she even explained how she #new the damage it caused!

6ut an apolog was still not enough &or "ann, as he &ound himsel& struggling et again, to

accept simpl her words! So he opted to once again insult her, and hang up on her!

This behaviour repeated &or a month, as "ann too# the time to turn )licia into his own

personal doormat, to show her exactl how it &elt, to be treated the wa that she treated him,

but each and ever time, she onl met him bac#, with a calm and accepting response!

>ver time, as the calls grew longer and longer, however, )licia began to tell "ann about the

steps she was ta#ing to change! 4irst he learned that she was going to therap, as she had a

&urther melt down, a&ter telling him the truth, and she reali7ed that she was alwas on the

edge o& extremes, and that she struggled to accept an #ind o& happiness!

She began to explain that she punished hersel&, and ruined things o&ten, because she didnt

&eel li#e she deserved "anns greatness, and how he was so #ind, that she &elt unworth!

9nable to accept excuses &or her behaviour, however, "ann had reminded her that she stillhad a choice, when she was with him, and that he had tried hard &or her! % #now, and &or that

% am trul sorr! %t was ou who also deserved better, she had explained!

9ncertain anmore what to thin#, now torn between the new realit that )licia was

mani&esting, and the more crippling realit that she had created b cheating on him, "ann

&ound himsel& more con&used than ever! 6ut one thing was clear to him, i& nothing else, at

least he was getting closure!

%nstead o& bottling it up inside, he could &inall tal# about it! 6ut even more strange, was the

&act that he could do this without )licia &rea#ing out, without her twisting his words, and

without her causing a huge dramatic scene, emotionall!

+e &ound himsel& suddenl drawn to her again! This was the )licia he had alwas wished to

#now, and he had #nown that she was capable o& being this ama7ing woman, but now the


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timing was all wrong! She had gone and ruined everthing!

+ad she not done that, she would be the most per&ect woman now! She was &inall capable o&

listening! She was &inall ta#ing action to become a better person!

"ann &ound himsel&, suddenl as#ing i& he could love a woman li#e that again! Would he be

able to accept her bac#, as she was5

+e had accepted her be&ore, &laws and all, but the &act that she had cheated, seemed to be the

deal brea#er! "ann wasnt sure anmore what to do! +e struggled to accept new women into

his li&e, because o& the lingering pain and emotions that surrounding )licia!

Everthing had happened so suddenl, and unexpectedl! +e was onl wanting to give her

space, when she had dropped the cheating realit onto him! 6ut now that he was getting thetime to process it, and now that )licia was &inall being reasonable, he &ound himsel& slowl

considering the idea o& being with her again!

6ut this time, he wasnt going to push her to do the right thing! +e wasnt going to explain

&rom ) to D, what it was that he wanted or needed! Either she was going to step up to the

plate and do it, or he was out o& there &or good!

+e resolved this time, not to tell her, that he was going to test her! +e didnt even tell her that

he wanted her bac#, but he did hint that some &eelings were still there, in the ver least, but

he made it clear that he wasnt sure et what he wanted to do with them!

>ver the period o& the next month, "ann watched care&ull as )licia strangel maintained,

even still, her new


13/38

This piercing $uestion loomed in his mind, as he began to wonder more and more, wh it trul

had to get to that stage! The answer would determine whether or not "ann could trust )licia

again, because it meant that there was either potential &or that ver same thing to happen

again, or hope&ull, whatever was causing that issue, was now resolved, and wouldnt be a

problem anmore!

"ann hated the &eeling, o& having to worr about whether or not he could trust somebod, or

whether or not he could be certain in his &uture! +e needed to #now &or sure that )licia wasnt

going to resort bac# to her old habits there&ore, or, in the ver least, that whatever was

causing her to &eel li#e she needed to cheat, treat him poorl, and disrespect him, was

resolved!

+e decided that she was going to have to prove to him somehow, that these same problems

reall were resolved, once and &or all, otherwise he #new that hed 'ust be wasting his time

even tal#ing to her again, let alone thin#ing about wanting to &orgive her, or accept her bac#

into his li&e!

So he set up a plan, ver care&ull to put )licia through a series o& emotionall gruelling tests,

and even mind games, 'ust to ma#e sure, that &or once and all, she was not ling anmore

about changing!

+e proceeded to ma#e her 'ealous, b describing the women he had been with, to see i& shed

twist that bac# onto him? onl to &ind that she was accepting o& that! +e then tried testing herpatience with him, as he once again withdrew, and too# space, onl to &ind that she

reasonabl allowed him to!

+e tested to see i& shed be trul honest where it counted, as he began to as# her about

certain details that his now ex


14/38

)&ter thin#ing about it heavil, but while now having more proo& than he could ever need, that

)licia was trul going to be a changed woman, he decided to give it another tr, onl to &ind

that once he did, he was happier than he had ever been with her, a&ter that point!

)nd so, "ann and )licia managed to wor# things out once and &or all, between each other!

The Worst Case Scenario

8ow, "ann and )licias stor, included one o& 'ust man scenarios, that could be considered

to be a 3worst case scenario! )licia had betraed "anns trust on such an extreme level, and

had caused an almost irreparable level o& damage to "ann! Whats worse, is the &act that she

had also been so cruell mean to him, be&ore the actual incident o& the a&&air as well, which

&urther made it di&&icult &or "ann to come to terms with an o& it, especiall since he had

been tring so hard to ma#e things wor#!

8ow this is a slightl extreme example o& a worst case scenario, but % want ou to understand,

&rom this stor, one simple thing, &or now! What is that thing5

Ever worst case scenario, has the potential to either be made worse, or to be made better!

8ow, % am not tring to give ou an &alse hope here either, because b the time ouve gotten

oursel& and our relationship into a worst case scenario, it means that ou onl ield +)-4 o&

the power that ou normall would in the relationship, due to the circumstances!

Wh is that5

Well at this stage, things have gotten so bad, that ouve probabl done some prett horrible,

cruel, mean, and even outrageous things! Even i& ou havent gotten as extreme as )licia did,

with her actions, % guarantee it, that ouve in the ver least, ta#en things to a whole new

extreme in some wa, that now ou are tring to recover &rom it!

% want ou to #now and understand, in this ver moment now, that it doesnt matter what the

extreme situation actuall is! %t onl trul matters now, how ou react to it!

Wh is that5

Well, i& ou react poorl to the situation and circumstance, it means that ou onl ma#e our

circumstance worse!


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6ut, i& ou react genuinel, and reasonabl to the situation and circumstance, it means that

ou can onl tr to ma#e our situation better!

4urthermore, % want to help alleviate some o& the pain or guilt that ou are currentl &eeling

un&airl right now, b reminding ou that the situation, does not de&ine ou as a whole person!%& ou have done something wrong, be ver care&ul to separate that event, and that

circumstance &rom who ou are as a person!

% discuss how to do this, in Chapter 1 o& the "rama *ethod boo# itsel&, but right now %d li#e

ou to 'ust understand one simple thing/

;ou are not our problems!

;our problems are things that ou either cause, or things which happen to ou< but the are

not actuall who ou are! The are simpl what happens to ou, or what happens to our

circumstance!

) lot o& times, the 4%RST and most critical error that a woman can ma#e when she is in a worst

case scenario, or even when she is struggling in her relationship, is to begin assuming that she

is de&ined b her problems, and thus to begin re&erring to hersel& as the problems!

"oing this means that ou will probabl end up ma#ing a lot o& excuses &or what happens to

ou, instead o& accepting and ta#ing responsibilit &or our role!

%t means that since ou believe that ou are our problems, that ou start to use these ver

same problems as was to avoid having to ta#e responsibilit, or having to accept, b indirectl

using that as a reason &or wh that problem had to happen, or should exist etc?

This is a huge no


16/38

able to see the entire &orest that wa5 >r will ou onl be able to see the trees immediatel in

&ront o& ou5

%n this case, as long as ou are inside o& the &orest, ou will onl be able to see what is

immediatel around ou! 6ut, i& ou were, to &or example, get in a helicopter and hover above

the &orest, would ou, then be able to see the entire &orest5

*ost li#el, and even i& ou could not see all o& the &orest immediatel, oud still be able to

move around a lot easier to see it as a whole, &rom above, than i& ou were inside o& it!

This is wh its important to be able to step bac# and remove oursel&, &irstl &rom the problem

on a personal level, EE8 i& ou are guilt, or are responsible &or something that has caused a

great shi&t in our relationship dnamics!

)gain, ou must step bac#, to see the bigger picture, because ou wont be able to see the

picture, i& ou are standing inside o& the picture &rame itsel&!

9ltimatel, what this means is that ou are not the problem, but rather, it is what you are

doing, that is the problem! So our actions are the problem here!

;ou ma or ma not reali7e this, but ever single person has the potential to be the best

person, and to be good, but this is onl ever true when the under the right circumstances or

conditions, to be that wa in the &irst place!

So ou, have the potential, to be #ind, loving, generous, understanding, accepting,

appreciative, and so much more! Thus, there is more to ou, than our problems! )gain, our

problems are what happens to ou, and the problem itsel&, is onl in what ou are doing,

which in this case is in our actions!

%t doesnt mean that ou as a whole, are a bad or terrible person!

Thus, the ver &irst thing ou must do, i& ou ever want to resolve, solve, or &ix a problem in

our relationship, ESAEC%)--; i& it is a 3worst case scenario #ind o& a deal, is to understand that

the problem is 8>T with ou, but is within our actions!

)lwas remember that actionscan be changed, and as long as this is true, it means that there


17/38

is a potential solution to our relationship problem, even % ou are dealing with a worst case

scenario, and even i& ou have screwed things up prett badl, li#e )licia did with "ann, in the

stor earlier!

So, now that ou understand that the &irst thing ou must do, is recogni7e that its the action

ou want to change, and not our entire 3person, the next thing ou must do, is as noted,create the right circumstances and conditions &or oursel& to now become the 3right person,

a&ter this point!

)s ouve now learned, ever person has the potential to be a good person, as long as the

right circumstances and conditions are there in place, &or them to do that in the &irst place!

Aart o& being a good person, o& course, means that ou simpl ta#e action to do that in the

&irst place!

There is no 3secret &ormula to being a good person! )nbod can do it, once the recogni7e

that its the actions that the need to change! 8ow #eep in mind that actions dont 'ust re&er

to the things ou are doing, but the also re&er to the #inds o& things that happen inside o&

ou, such as our thoughts, or emotional patterns!

Thoughts are a &orm o& action as well, and the can heavil in&luence how ou &eel, and thus

how ou decide to ta#e action! 8ow % will get to that in 'ust a bit, but &or now %d 'ust li#e ou

to #now, that when % re&er to the term 3actions, % mean more than simpl the things that ou

phsicall do, but also the things that ou mentall, and emotionall do, internall and

externall!

This #nowledge will come in hand in 'ust a bit, because the next step to &ixing and resolve a

problem in our relationship, especiall an emotionall charged or ver intense issue, is to

create a realit wherein our man can )-S> come to see and recogni7e, the &act that ou have

the potential to be a good person!

+elping our man to see this, helps him to accept, heal, and move on a lot more $uic#l &rom

a traumatic experience that he ma be having with ou! 6ut in order &or ou to create this

potential &or our man to recogni7e and see that in ou, ou must &irst, again create the

conditions necessar &or both he and ou, to enter into that realit!

What sets o& conditions are those5 Well thats where the +al&wa E$uation comes into pla!


18/38

-The Halfway Equation-

Earlier in this report, % mentioned that ou can onl in&luence +)-4 o& the situation, especiall

i& our situation has alread reached the level o& being extreme, or i& our situation has turned

into a 3worst case scenario!

% also mentioned, that % didnt want to give ou &alse hope either, so here is where a little dose

o& realit comes into pla, and % #now at this stage ou are probabl expecting a certain level o&

honest! 6ut this is not the #ind o& honest that ou thin#!

;ou see, our situation has a 0F0 chance o& either getting better, or getting worse! )lmost

100G o& the outcome, however, &irst relies on how ou react to the situation, and how ou

handle it!

%& ou choose to react poorl, then our situation goes &rom having a 0F0 chance o& getting

better, to now a 100G chance o& &ailing!

%& ou react well, however, our situation has a 0G chance o& getting better!

8ow those odds dont sound too promising, and % reali7e that! % #now that ou needsomething more solid to go o&& o&, because ou are wal#ing a ver thin line here, at this stage!

;ou want to #now i& there is hope, and i& things can wor# out!

Well, heres what is the true realit is!

%& ou set up the absolutel AE)H level o& circumstances, conditions, and realities that help to

change our current situation, and 49RT+ER*>RE help to convince, and entice our man into

wanting to tr to move past the situation, then our chances increase &rom 0G success rate,to a rate well above 2G!

The better ou can do this, the closer our success rate, will get to the 100G range, with our

man, regardless o& whatever went on be&ore this point!


19/38

This report is actuall designed to help ou get a success rate o& over 2G, and % #now that ou

are s#eptical! Trust me, % have wor#ed with man 3worst case scenario people be&ore, and the

ma'or theme going on in man o& their realities, is one o& extensive doubt!

6ut % want ou to trust me, that i& ou actuall do what % said, ou will get the results that %

said, as long as ou &ollow them to the T!

+owever, % want ou to come into this with a realistic outloo#, because there is one &actor that

is in pla! )s noted, ou a&&ect the situation itsel& 0G, &rom our end!

The reason % am saing this, is because o& the &act that our man Ior partner in this caseJ,

a&&ects the other 0G &rom their end!

8ow ou can %84-9E8CE their decisions, or their choices, but ou cannot actuall control, or

&orce them to do something!

)s the saing goes, ou can lead a horse to water, but ou cannot ma#e it drin#!

What ou are going to do here, in this case, is lead our man to the water! 69T, since ou can

onl in&luence things in our relationship hal&wa, or 0G &rom our side, what ou *9ST do,

is ma#e that water so enticing, that our man will come bac# the other 0G and willreciprocate bac# the new realit that ou are tring to pro'ect!

Thus, our second lesson, in this report is this/

You have to make EE!Y damn effort count" #ecause you only get so much say here$

This means, that ou must ma#e our 3healing water so enticing, that our man will want to

come in, and drin# &rom it, once ou lead him to it! %t means that ou must leave him &eelingso 3thirst that b the time ou lead him to our 3water, he &eels relieved!

That is ultimatel our goal now, &rom here on out, because at this stage, the water represents

our relationship! ;ou want our man to want that again, in a health and positive wa,

correct5


20/38

%& ou want him to want that, ou have to ma#e it appealing again! +ow do ou ma#e it

appealing5 ;ou ma#e him want to go toward it in the &irst place b leading him in that

direction!

+ow do ou do that5

Well, as noted, it all starts in creating the right set o& conditions and circumstances, that help

set ou up to change our actions, but which also set our partner up to be able to

REC>K8%DE and see those actions, so that the main problem no longer dictates the outcome

o& our relationship anmore!

Resolving that problem once again, comes in &irst loo#ing at our actions, and thus, loo#ing at

what is &ueling that problem to begin with, so that it no longer gets in the wa!

%ts #e to understand that i& ou actuall want a man to &orgive ou &or something, or to get

over something which ou have done, or to get past a bump in our relationship that ma not

have been directl caused b ou, that ou have to &igure out what is directl causing it in the

&irst place!

>therwise, this same problem will creep up again and again, no matter how hard ou tr to

change our actions, which leads me to m next point!

-Actions Are !eactions-

We onl ever ta#e action, on something, as a reaction to something deeper! )n action

happens, as a result o& something that we thought or &elt, and thus reacted to! Thus, all

actions are, is reactions to something deeper!

)llowing oursel& the space to understand and accept this means that ou create the room

necessar to move on to the next step o& resolving our worst case scenario!

What is that next step5

The next step is to &igure out what ou are actuall reacting to! %n the case o& )licias 3actions,

&rom the stor at the beginning o& this report, she was actuall reacting to a ton o& deeper

insecurities and personal problems, such as a lac# o& sel&8S to a


21/38

deeper need!

;ou see, inside o& all o& us, there is a set o& core values, desires, needs and wants! These are

things that we &eel we cannot compromise on, and we re$uire them to &eel an sort o& $ualit

in our da to da li&e!

Some common examples o& core needs, include, the desire to &eel accepted, respected,

understood, use&ul, help&ul, attractive etc?

*an o& us have similar core values and needs, but we all prioriti7e the importance o& each in

our lives, internall, 'ust a little bit di&&erent than each other, however most o& our cores

remain similar to one anothers!

%n the case o& )licia, her core needs were not being &ul&illed! Aart o& the reason wh this was

true, was because she had not learned how to &ul&ill them hersel&, and was expecting her man,

"ann, in this case, to &ul&ill them!

The problem came, however, in the &act that no matter how much approval, attention, love,

a&&ection, and understanding that "ann gave to )licia, she could not, and would not accept

that!

This is a ver common problem that man women have, especiall women who are

emotionall insecure!

This problem occurs, because o& the &act that the person themselves, has not convinced

themselves that the are worth, or deserve such things! %t means that no matter how man

other people come in and tell ou that ou are worth, or that ou do deserve to have those

core needs &ul&illed, that ou W%-- not, but more importantl, C)88>T believe the other

people, until or unless ou &irst prove it to oursel&!

This is the same reason wh )licia would re'ect, so dramaticall, all o& the love that "ann was

tring to give her, because she had not et convinced hersel& on a personal level, that she

deserved it!

Thus, it wouldnt matter who, or even how man people came along and told her that she

could have more, or that she deserved more? she would re'ect it, until or unless she started


22/38

to ta#e care o& her own needs &irst!

This is wh there was such a drastic change in )licias behaviour, )4TER the &act, once she

see#ing out therap, and once she started loo#ing into her core! %t meant that she was a lot

more accepting, a lot more understanding, and a lot more reasonable, because she had &inall

begun to address her core values and needs, hersel&, without expecting "ann to do all o& that&or her, on her behal&!

So coming bac# now, to the point about actions being reactions, and ting this all in together,

an time ou &ind oursel& having a reaction to something, this is almost alwas &ueled b a

core need!

%& ou &eel an intense push to react to something, whether negativel or positivel, especiall

in our relationship, this is almost alwas coming &rom a deeper core need, or value, that isas#ing ou to ta#e care o& it, &ul&ill it, and to loo# into it!

6ut there are two things ou should #now about this realit! The &irst, is that i& ou are having

a positive reaction, this almost alwas means that ou have mostl ta#en care o& that core

need, personall, during that moment, and thus now are onl tring to satis& it &urther

externall!

This is >!H! to do, and is in &act welcomed, because it pro'ects more o& the good, and allowsou to share the good areas o& our values with another! This almost alwas ma#es the other

person &eel good too!

6ut, i& ou &ind that ou are having a negative reaction, and thus are pro'ecting a lot o&

negative emotions, this almost alwas means that a core need is as#ing ou to loo# into it,

because it is either being/

)J Compromised,

6J 9n&ul&illed, or,CJ Threatened!

When ou have a negative reaction to something, which ou ma sometimes have, in a

relationship, during an argument &or example, it means that our core values &eel threatened!

"e&ences onl EER go up to protect a deeper need, or value &rom being compromised or

damaged!


23/38

Thus, the #e here, when it comes to a worst case scenario, is to actuall go bac# and pa

attention to the times that ou &elt our de&enses going up, or to loo# bac# at the times where

ou were negativel pro'ection our emotions onto our man!

"uring these times, and in these circumstances, almost alwas, our core was as#ing ou to

loo# at a deeper need, that it was tring to protect, or was tring to have met, or heard!

6ut, because as % mentioned earlier, a lot o& the times when ou are negativel pro'ecting, it

means that its actuall something ou need to address oursel&, what ou must do in this

case, is ou must alwas do one thing, and one thing onl &rom now on!

What is that one thing5

You must %AC& '(($)n time that something is getting so heated, to a level where either our de&enses are going

up, or ou &eel a rising pressure mounting &rom within to pro'ect a negative emotion, it means

that ou need to bac# awa &rom that situation, and &orm whatever is triggering ou, even i& it

is our man, or an argument!

%t is actuall >H to let our man #now that ou need to come in, and ta#e a brea#, and to let

him #now that ou are not done et, but that ou will come bac# to the argument when ou

are not emotionall strung!

"oing this can prevent a KRE)T "E)- o& &uture turmoil, and can stop it dead in its trac#s!

)gain, part o& #nowing how to solve our problem, or dilemma, is learning what caused it in

the &irst place!

This is one o& the *)%8 causes o& communication brea#down, o& hurt&ul things being said in

arguments, and o& worse case scenarios being &ormed in the &irst place!

)gain, what is that main cause5

%ts when ou &eel a core need being threatened or presenting itsel& negativel to be loo#ed

deeper into, and ou pro'ect that onto our man, instead o& bac#ing awa, to deal with that

privatel, until ou can calm down and loo# at what ou reall need!


24/38

)gain, those intense &eelings are onl arising, not because our man is being a 'er#, and not

because o& the argument itsel&, but because something deeper actuall needs to be loo#ed

into, within ou, and man times, once again, when that &eeling is a negative one, it means its

something that ou must privatel loo# into, which brings me to m next point/

!ecogni)e That Your *an Cannot (i+ 'r Solve Everything

) lot o& women, when the get into a problem stage in their relationship, actuall hope and

W)%T &or their man to come in and &ix everthing! )gain, this is a +9KE mista#e! )s ou now

#now with the case o& )licia, &rom the stor at the beginning o& this report, it would have been

impossible &or "ann to come in and &ix her problems, even i& he wanted to!

Wh is that5

Well again, man o& her problems were actuall outside o& him, and were personal! 8o

amount o& attempts to &ix that 4>R her, would have wor#ed! The onl thing he can do then, is

o&&er emotional support, and to simpl encourage her to wor# on that hersel&! Thats the onl

thing an man can reall do &or ou! +e can encourage ou to be our best sel&!

Thats about it, but he cant do that &or ou!

So i& ou are hoping that this report will come in and tell ou how our man will 'ust magicall

come in and &ix everthing &or ou, ou were sorel mista#en!

This report can onl deal with ;>9R side o& the e$uation, and our hal& o& the relationship

problems!

The thing about our hal&, is that ou will alwas have a place where ou need to ta#e

responsibilit &or our actions, even i& ou &eel that our man is wrong, and even i& hes done

some prett bad things to ou!

Sometimes women error on the side o& being wrong, simpl because the )-->W a man to

misbehave in the &irst place, so dont thin# that ou will get o&& Scott &ree, 'ust because ou

didnt do something bad, or at least, ou dont &eel that ou did!

%& our situation has turned to a worst case scenario, ou have ta#en an action, that %

guarantee, has been bad! 6ut, even the -)CH o& action, is bad, because it means ou are still


25/38

choosing, or are deciding 8>T to do something!

That decision alone, is still an action, and ou are there&ore responsible &or it! 8ow, be&ore we

came to this section, % spo#e a bit about how ou are responsible &or our core needs, &rom

the moment that ou &eel an #ind o& negative reaction occurring, whether that is internall or

externall!

What this means ultimatel, is that ou must start ta#ing care o& some o& our own needs, and

that ou must start getting in tune with our actual wants, desires, and core values, so that

ou can understand oursel& properl!

%& ou cant understand oursel& and our own needs, ou wont be able to start &ul&illing

them, but worse, our man will never be able to &ul&ill them either, which is wh ou end up at

a worst case scenario outcome, li#e ou are probabl in now!

%& a man cant do his 'ob o& &ul&illing our needs, then he will start to &eel useless, and

powerless! This leads to hopelessness, and ultimatel emotional de&eat, wherein our man

stops tring to care either wa!

>bviousl, that is not what ou want, especiall i& ou are tring to &ix our situation! So the

&irst #e, to actuall starting to ma#e our man see that ou have the potential to be a good,

and valid person in the relationship, is to ta#e responsibilit &or our own core needs, andvalues, which means that ou must start learning how to &ul&ill them outside o& the

relationship!

Remember again, that our man cannot resolve all o& them, even i& he wanted to! +e can help

encourage ou in them, and can support ou, but he cannot actuall &ix our core needs &or

ou in such a wa that ou are alwas going to &eel &ul&illed!

)gain, outside in&luence will onl wor# so much, be&ore ou need that level o& inside in&luence,to come in and believe in oursel& and wor# on oursel&!

%& ou trul want our man to see that ou have changed, ou must start changing &rom the

inside out, and its extremel important to ma#e our man &eel li#e ou have changed!

Wh is that5


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Well, i& ou want the worst case scenario, to turn into a 3best case scenario, ou have to be

able to prove to the >T+ER person in the relationship, one wa or another, that the >-"

situation, will not happen again!

"ann had this same issue, in the stor at the beginning o& this report, wherein he struggled aswell, to &ind proo& that the old problems would not resur&ace! +e needed proo& that the

would not happen again, because the had alread made him &eel so bad in the &irst place! +e

#new that he could not go through a similar set o& circumstances &or a second time!

So, that being said, % want ou to as# oursel& this?

+ow man times could ou go through a worst case scenario, over and over again, be&ore

&inall ou said, enough is enough5

9suall once, is enough &or people! 6ut sometimes people go through them man times,

because the love the other person in their relationship to bits, and the want to ma#e things

wor# out! %& our man is still with ou, through >T+ER worst case scenarios, A-9S this one,

then ou need to understand that our man loves ou to bits too, but that he cant #eep on

doing this over and over again!

%& this is our &irst time in a worst case scenario, then ou also need to understand that there is

onl so much that another human being can reasonabl ta#e emotionall, be&ore thewithdraw to protect themselves!

8ow one a person has started to withdraw, thats when it turns into an ELTRE*E scenario,

because now the person is intent on protecting themselves, and ta#ing care o& their needs,

&irst! %t means that the prioriti7e their emotional sa&et above all else!

This is exactl wh ou must prove, there&ore, to our man, that ou are capable o& respecting

that emotional sa&et, b &irst beginning to accept responsibilit W%T+%8 &or the things that

ou should be ta#ing care o&, but secondl b accepting responsibilit externall as well, &or

the things that ou should be ta#ing care o&!

Aart o& accepting that responsibilit means learning to respect the other persons needs,

wants, and boundaries, sometimes even above our own, and it also means showing a level o&

respect, which brings me to m next point!


27/38

,f You Want Some#ody To isten To You" You Have To !es.ect Them (irst

The relationship has turned sour, and has moved into a worst case scenario condition, another

main cause o& this, is because o& the &act that respect has been lost! 8ow this could be an

issue that is occurring &rom both ends, but the realit o& the matter is this/ i& ou dont respect

our partner, it ma#es it di&&icult &or them to open up to ou again, trust ou again, and more

importantl ma#es it di&&icult &or them to -%STE8 to ou!

%& ou have done something severel wrong, wherein ou actuall need to be able to tal# this

out with our partner, or wherein ou need to be given the chance to apologi7e, then ou

have to &irst instill a new&ound level o& respect, and ou must be able to AR>E that respect to

our man!

;our man actuall values respect )6>E the level o& importance o& love! %t means that he

would rather have respect &rom ou, than love or admiration!

Since this is an extremel important #e, it means that ou *9ST return this to him,

immediatel, i& ou actuall want him to ta#e ou seriousl, or listen to anthing ou are saing

or are doing a&ter this point!

So how do ou respect a man5

;ou let him #now that ou ac#nowledge his leadership and guidance, and ou ma#e it clear

that ou appreciate that as well! This means that ou dont undermine his boundaries, his

decisions, his needs, his guidance, or even his attempts to problem solve!

)gain those are things that wor# &or him, as a man, in his world! 9ndermining them, means

that ou ultimatel have disrespected him!

Thus, i& ou want a man to listen to our worthiness, ou must show him that ou &irst

recogni7e his, where it counts!

This means that ou arent coming in with a ton o& but % love ous, acting as i& our

emotions alone would be enough to convince a man! The are not!

%& ou want to convince a man to listen to ou, it all starts with a logical approach, which

means that ou can no longer come in with emotional statements!


28/38

8ow, ou must come in with respect, and a clear logical level o& acceptance and

ac#nowledgement o& our mans abilities, and person!

%n the stor given earlier in this report, % want to point out one ver strong level o& respect

compromising that )licia caused between hersel& and "ann! ;ou see, the act o& cheating or

having an a&&air, is seen as one o& the ultimate acts o& disrespect to a man!

When a woman does something li#e that, it means that she completel undermines

everthing about him, &rom his abilit to provide and give to her, as a man, to his abilit to

&ul&ill her, and beond!

%t basicall strips a man o& his abilit to be seen as a man, because its basicall li#e saing to a

gu he, ou werent man enough, so % &ound someone else who was! This is wh men

struggle to get over an a&&air, because its not even as much about the trust, as it was aboutthe stripping o& their entire manhood, with one single action, that now compromises,

there&ore everthing else!

>nce again, a man would rather have respect, above love! >& course a man would love to have

both realities, but i& he had to choose between the two, hed ta#e respect an da, because he

cannot compromise on his abilit to be seen and ac#nowledged &or everthing that ma#es him

a man!

+e needs that to &eel li#e a man in the &irst place!

Thus, respect is extremel important to a man! So i& ou are in a situation where ou have

+E)%-; compromised the level o& respect, b doing something intense li#e )licia did, such as

having an a&&air, the thing that ou must %**E"%)TE-; do then, is implement an extreme level

o& respect a&ter this point!

8ow, % tal# extensivel about how to respect a man, and how to prove to him that ou respectin him m "rama *ethod program, so i& ou need examples or more guidance on how to do

that, please re&er bac# to the main program!

6ut the main point here, is this/ ou must o&&er a man respect, 4%RST, be&ore he will even

remotel listen to ou, a&ter, about an o& our needs, or wants!


29/38

%n this case, ou want our man to be able to recogni7e the &act that ou do have value still,

and potential! ;ou need him to be able to see the good in ou again, to resolve and &ix the

situation!

The &irst part o& this step came in learning to resolve and wor# with our own insecurities and

internal core needs, so that ou are not pro'ecting them onto our man, and so that hedoesnt have to &ear them alwas getting in the wa each and ever time a&ter this!

6ut the second step now comes in o&&ering him a level o& value, that he can &eel, and

experience b extending a level o& respect! Heep in mind that this respect has to be genuine,

and again % tal# about how to create genuine respect toward a man in the main program, but

until or unless ou do this step, our man will 8>T &eel li#e its ideal to tr and wor# things out

with ou again!

>nce again, our 'ob is to create the ideal set o& circumstances to 6EC>*E, but to also 6E seen

as a valuable and good persona again! Aart o& creating those circumstances comes in wor#ing

on our core concerns, but the other part, comes in creating an atmosphere o& genuine

respect &or our man!

This will ultimatel lead him into a com&ortable position to listen to ou, which leads me to the

next #e?

*en isten *'!E To Actions" /ot Words

)nother reason wh our situation has gotten so intense, is because our man has seen too

man times over and over again, that our words dont match our actions! %ts important to

note, and to learn that men will alwas listen more to what ou do, and will listen less to what

ou sa!

Wh is that5

*en are heavil logical! Thats wh! The dont rel as much on their &eelings to determinesomething, as the do, their logical side!

8ow ou, normall, as a woman, will rel on how ou &eel about something, to determine how

ou react to that thing! So i& a man is saing things ou want to hear, ou are more li#el to

accept that realit, even i& he hasnt actuall ">8E an o& the things he is saing, ou would

accept his words even still, because the made ou &eel good!


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That &eeling is what ou are a&ter, so ou allow him to sa things, and accept that more o&ten!

%t ma#es ou a lot more patient, as a result at times, when it comes to getting results &rom a

man!

6ut a man, however wor#s in exactl the opposite wa! Since he isnt reling on how

something is going to ma#e him &eel, he wor#s with logic! 8ow logic does not necessaril listento words, and instead pas attention more to what is actuall happening, which in this case is

our actions!

This is wh its extremel important to &ix our actions, as ouve been learning, so that what

our man sees ou doing, matches the expectation ou have verball told him to set! So i& ou

told him that oud change, he wants to phsicall see that ou are ta#ing action steps to

actuall do this!

+e doesnt 'ust want to hear a lot o& sweet tal#, or &anc wordpla detailing how ou will do it,

and how ou &eel about it, and wh!

) man would much rather see ou actuall doing it, and then he will wor# with the proo&!

Thus, i& ou want to &ix our 3worst case scenario situation, ou must start spea#ing in a

language o& almost ELC-9S%E actions! This means that ou must not sa what ou are going

to do, ou must not spend a great deal o& time tal#ing about it either, but instead must 'ust goout and "> those things!

>nl >8CE ou have done them, should ou tal# about them!

What #inds o& things, there&ore, should ou do in a worst case scenario5 There are @ action

steps ou must ta#e, and our man needs ou to do this, in a worst case scenario

circumstance!

Action Ste. 012 %e ogically Honest3 Acce.t res.onsi#ility- This means that ou now tal#

about 4)CTS, instead o& &eelings! 8ormall when explaining or discussing something with a

man, especiall during a problem, a lot o& women tal# about how the &elt, or how the are

&eeling when a problem was, or is occurring!

Those ma be &acts, to ou, but the are not the RE)- &acts in a mans mind! %n a mans mind,


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&or example, i& ou -%E" to him, the &act becomes this/ ou lied! ) lot o& women would cloud

that &act, b throwing in a bunch o& &eelings surrounding it, and then b saing things li#e %

&eel so bad that % lied!

%ts not about our &eelings! %ts not about how ou &elt doing it, or how ou &elt be&ore ou did

it!

Thats a whole other topic, that ou should >8-; ever get into, i& our man actuall as#s &or

emotional reasoning, in the &irst place! 9ntil that point, there must be logical reasoning! So i&

ou lied, ou must clearl state the &act here! That ou lied, and explain how, directl as it was!

This means accepting responsibilit &or our wrongdoings, and &or our weight that ou should

be pulling in our hal& o& the relationship!

This means that ou dont point the &inger at our man, or blame him! )gain, this is about our

side o& the deal! -et him deal with his hal&, and his responsibilit, and trust him to reach that

level, o& dealing with it too!

4or now, this is about ou dealing with our hal& o& the situation! This means that ou admit to

a wrongdoing, i& one has occurred! To do this, ou have to re&er bac# to stating onl the &acts

o& what happened, because this means that ou dont tal# again, about how ou are &eeling,

but rather admit the realit o& what ou actuall did now!

;ou state it $uite directl, without over complicating it with a bunch o& &eelings! %t means that

i& ou #now ou disappointed our man, or i& ou #now ou promised something but bro#e

that promise, or i& ou #now ou could have been better, that ou openl ac#nowledge this,

and accept that! %t also means that ou accept the conse$uences, which % will get to in 'ust a

bit, but ultimatel this means that ou cannot den, cannot &ight, cannot argue, and cannot tr

to 3excuse our wa out o& that realit anmore!

There are 8> more excuses &or it! ;ou did it, and ou were wrong! %ts that simple! %& ou have

done something wrong, it means that ou made a choice, a wrong choice! There is no excuse

&or that, except that ou tried to ma#e things temporaril eas &or oursel&, at the cost o& our

partner! ;ou cannot excuse that, because attempting to excuse it is li#e tring to excuse our

partners right to &eel pain in the &irst place!

;ou must 8EER undermine our partners right to &eel pain, as a result o& what ou did! The


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are allowed to &eel pain, especiall the more intense our wrongdoing is! Tring to excuse our

wrongdoing, is basicall li#e tring to tell them that the shouldnt be upset, or that the

shouldnt &eel pain!

"o not excuse the action! Simpl admit it, and ta#e responsibilit &or the pain it has caused, or

the conse$uence that happened!

Thus, ta#e our ego out o& it, and allow that wrong to 'ust be! This is not, at this point, about

ou &eeling good, or validating our own ego here, b &inall doing the right thing! This is

instead about validating our mans ego, so that he can &inall &eel better about the situation,

and can move on!

)gain, part o& being able to do this, without &eeling extremel uncom&ortable, or without

&eeling li#e this is impossible, is through separating our problems &rom who ou are as an

individual! ;ou did something wrong, that doesnt mean ou are a bad person, it 'ust means

ou made a mista#e, and now ou recogni7e that!

%t doesnt matter how big this mista#e is! %ts important in the last to actual recogni7e the

mista#e, properl, and secondl not to downsi7e it or tr to mas# the severit o& it, b clouding

that responsibilit b tring to twist it into how it a&&ects who ou are as a person!

Remove oursel& &rom it, so that ou arent twisting it around, and so that ou can address the

responsibilit head on!

>nce more, this is an action step, so ou must actuall verball communicate to our man,

that ou ac#nowledge that ou did something wrong, where ou ac#nowledge it, and wh!

)c#nowledging this to oursel& alone, is not enough! ;our man needs to #now that ou also

see the cause o& the problem, directl, &or what it is, as it is!

Action Ste. 042 !emove The Core To+icity-This means that ou solve the problems that are

actuall our problems, so that the are not ma#ing their wa into our relationship anmore!

%& this means pic#ing up a sel&


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4igure out what is going on, so that it doesnt cause toxicit in our relationship anmore

either! 8ow %ve spo#en a bit about this alread, in this report, but basicall the &irst step to

doing this, is to &igure out what our core values and needs actuall are!

4igure out what it is that ou value the most, to &eel li#e ou have a $ualit li&e! The things ou

are searching &or, must be principles and values, and cannot include m man, as an answer!+aving a man in our li&e, in a loving relationship is not a core value, but is actuall the result

o& a &ew core values that ou combined, that are being &ul&illed through that realit!

So loo# deeper, until ou start to see individual needs and values, that each need to be

&ul&illed and each is e$uall important to ou! %t should be noted that ou ma have $uite a

&ew core values, so in that case, &ind the top that have the most signi&icance and the highest

level o& negative volatile reaction, in our li&e!

What this means, is ou loo# &or the moments when ou reacted, or do react the strongest,

and that will show ou which core needs are the strongest, once ou start loo#ing into W+; it

is that ou are reacting, and &urthermore what it is that ou are trul tring to have &ul&illed or

accomplished b reacting!

%ts important to note that ou must also prove to our man that ou are doing this, which

means that ou cant 'ust S); that ou are wor#ing on oursel&! ;ou actuall have to o&&er

proo&! Aroo& comes in showing our man that ou can start to handle some o& our own needs!

Aroo& comes in ta#ing care o& some o& our emotional baggage, or neediness!

Aroo& also comes in changing some o& our thin#ing patterns, reactions, and behaviours so

that when ou are ta#ing action in the &uture, the wa in which ou do it no longer resembles

our 3old approach! That is all our man is reall loo#ing &or, is to see that ou are tring, and

TR9ST me he will test that, and will push our buttons to prove this, which is wh ou need to

do *>RE than simpl TE-- a man that ou are changing and are wor#ing on our core!

This is wh ou actuall have to "> it! Wor#ing on our core helps ma#e things easier &or ourman, because he will &eel at ease now, understanding and learning that ou wont be

expecting him to come in and &ix everthing anmore!

;ou remove a lot o& pressure &rom him, which was also causing problems and which was

causing our man to react heavil too! Remove the pressure, and our man &inall &eels &ree to

help ou become better too, because now ou have gotten o&& o& his toes, and have allowed


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him to move around &inall!

Action Ste. 052 Sus.end Your /egative Emotions-)licias behaviour &rom the beginning o&

the stor, ma seem extreme, and i& it doesnt seem that wa to ou, it should! She blew

everthing out o& proportion, constantl manipulated situations, used her emotions as

blac#mail, and she even had an a&&air! 8ow there are man things that she did wrong here, butwhat i& % told ou that this is exactl how most men see ou, in the relationship5

% #now it sounds cra7, and not all women are this extreme, but ou see, whenever ou are

getting heavil emotional in a situation, a man has no choice but to see ou as being EL)CT-;

li#e )licia! The onl see the negative drama, and this drives a man cra7! %t ma#es a man

retreat, and even argue with ou!

8ow % show ou how to use positive, and necessar drama, in the "rama *ethod programitsel&, but one o& the main components o& being able to do that in the &irst place, actuall

comes in &irst suspending our negative emotions, so that ou arent pro'ecting them on to

our man!

8othing can be solved, or resolved so long as ou are onl adding &uel to the &ire! The

pro'ection o& negative emotions is li#e adding a can o& oil to an alread intense &ire! %t onl

causes more damage!

%& ou are &eeling negative emotions, ou must immediatel suspend them, and withhold them

during a problem, especiall during a worst case scenario #ind o& a situation, so that ou are

not ma#ing the situation more extreme!

The reason wh ou must do this, is because men need the space to problem solve, and

cannot thin# clearl i& ou are bombarding them with emotion a&ter emotion, especiall i& the

emotions are negative!

)gain, part o& &ixing the situation also means extending our man a deeper level o& respect so

that he will listen to ou, well part o& that respect, means allowing him the emotional space to

problem solve, in the relationship, especiall in this circumstance!

8ow % #now ou have needs, and % #now ou want him to listen to ou, and % #now ou want to

express how ou are &eeling, and to tal# about that, to help things! 6ut right now is 8>T the


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time to do that! ;ou can >8-; do that, a&ter ou have &ixed our worst case scenario #ind o& a

situation! %ts not appropriate to do that now, because it will onl ma#e our man &eel li#e ou

are dumping our emotional baggage on him, and will come across as sel&ish, and even

extremel cra7!

Removing our negative emotions temporaril &rom the situation, helps it to =9%CH-; di&&use!%t means that i& ou &eel li#e ou need to cr, or ball our &ace o&&, or &rea# out on our gu,

because he is being &rustrating, even )4TER ou do this, that ou go outside, or step awa

&rom him and do it!

%t means that ou "> 8>T reveal that side o& ou right now, in &ront o& him! ;ou withhold that

again, especiall i& it is negative as a part o& learning how to 8>T allow our de&enses to get up

and turn on our man!

)gain i& ou are &eeling that negative emotion, step bac#, and deal with it privatel! )llow it to

be &elt, but 8EER act on that emotion!

%ts o# to recogni7e it, but its not o# to act on it! )gain, acting, means reacting, which in turn

means that ou are ta#ing the wrong step when it comes to tring to &ix the situation, or

change our outcome!

Communicating The /eed" Without %eing /eedy

9ltimatel, what ou are doing with these action steps, is ou are tring to create a ver

appealing atmosphere and idea o& ou, wherein ou have removed the unnecessar drama,

ou have suspended the intense emotions, and where ou are now 'ust being real and honest,

and are no longer complicating the actual issue anmore with &eelings, emotions, arguments

or anthing else!

;ou would have also extended our man a level o& positive respect, which ma#es him &eel

open to wanting to listen to ou, and to see what ou are doing in the &irst place, to change

the situation!

)t this point, it is o# to communicate what it is that ou are loo#ing &or &rom our man, now, in

a ver open, but 8>T need wa! ;ou have wor#ed hard now, to tr and show our man that

ou are actuall ta#ing action, and that ou mean business!


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6ut >8-; once ou have done the steps listed above &irst, are ou allowed to come in and

actuall communicate a need!

So heres the deal! When ou tell a man ou need something, especiall in an intense

situation, he ma not &eel incentivised to want to do that thing &or ou, because hes alread

upset with ou to begin with!

What ou have to do then, is communicate our need as a W)8T, instead o& a need! What this

means, is that instead o& coming in and )SH%8K our man to do something &or ou, ou

instead tell him what oud li#e, and then let him #now that the o&&er is on the table, and that

ou will be there, &or whenever he is read to ta#e ou up on that o&&er!

Thus, ou dont come in with a heav pro'ection, o& neediness or desperation, and instead

ma#e our man &eel li#e he has the &reedom o& choice! %ts extremel important, in a worstcase scenario, to never ma#e our man &eel li#e ou are cornering him in, because he will run

&rom ou!

6ut i& ou o&&er an option up &reel to him, it will appear more appealing to him, because ou

are giving him the option to choose it, or not to choose it! )t this stage however, i& ou have

done the steps so &ar, especiall when it comes to being honest about our mista#es and &laws,

and secondl when it comes to AR>%8K that ou are actuall wor#ing on &ixing them, our

man will be ELTRE*E-; inclined to actuall ta#e ou up on our o&&er!

So what exactl do ou o&&er him5

;ou o&&er him the chance to tr things again, and the chance to wor# on things together! ;ou

"> 8>T, tell our man that ou want to start over! 6e ver care&ul not to sa that either,

because thats basicall li#e telling our man that ou dont ta#e anthing seriousl still,

because its li#e as#ing him to &orget that intense things happened!

+e is not going to &orget that, so respect his right to consider the &act that things did happen!

"ont undermine that!

%nstead, 'ust let him #now that ou are wor#ing hard, and that ou would li#e the opportunit

to tr )K)%8 to ma#e things wor#, and give him reasons wh this might be bene&icial to him!


37/38

So &or example, ou could sa something li#e/ % #now that % have not been the best person

that % could be latel! 4or that % apologi7e! % want ou to #now that % am wor#ing hard on

changing that, and in &act have done MMMMM and MMMMM Iinsert the things ou have done hereJ!

%d li#e to be given a chance to wor# things over with ou, but % want to respect our right to

choose! So % will give ou some space now, to let ou thin# that over, but 'ust #now that % am

loo#ing &orward to whatever outcome ou decide!

)&ter this, ou give our man some space, and ou dont pester him &or an answer! )gain ou

have alread proven to him, as much as ou possibl could at this stage!

6ut, i& oud li#e to &urther cement proo& in his mind, that he should tr to wor# things out

with ou, then ou should implement the concepts &rom the "rama *ethod program as well,

especiall when it comes to the respect, action ta#ing, and &law revealing aspects!

The (inal Stage

)t this stage, there is onl one thing le&t that ou can do! That is to ta#e space, and to bac#

awa! 8ow #eep in mind that it might ta#e our man longer to process how he &eels about this,

than it would ta#e ou to get an answer!

"> 8>T ta#e this as a bad thing, and do not &rea# out! )gain, remain calm! *en need time to

process an emotionall charged $uestion, especiall i& that $uestion is as#ing a man to be with

ou in a more exclusive wa, a&ter ouve been in an intense and almost worst case scenario

with this ver same man, not too long be&ore this point!

;our 'ob here, is to let our man accept this realit, and not to &orce it on him! %ts important to

note, that during this stage, ou must 8>T stop tring to do the rest o& the things mentioned

in this report, especiall when it comes to the action steps!

;ou *9ST continue to wor# on things, and ou *9ST not stop, 'ust because our man is

ta#ing time! )gain, he will be loo#ing to see what ou do, when he doesnt respond as ou

wish, so some men will actuall test ou this wa, to see i& what ou are saing is true,especiall i& ou 'ust as#ed &or a commitment &rom them, a&ter causing them pain!

The want proo& that ou have learned better, so be war o& a man testing ou! )gain, remain

calm under all circumstances, and i& ou &eel a negative emotion rising up, deal with it

privatel, even i& that emotion is loneliness!


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"o this, and ou will &ind that ou will &urther cement in this mans mind once again, that ou

are a high $ualit woman, and that he should allow ou to ma#e amends, sooner than later!

Remember that men dont want to be in pain either, and the will run &rom it!

6ut i& the &eel li#e ;>9 can resolve their pain, the will actuall come to ou! This is wh ou

must ma#e him the most com&ortable that ou possibl can, with our words, actions, andreactions!

Thats wh ou must concentrate again on respecting our man, and once more on our

actions and reactions, so that everthing ou are doing, is in tune with helping our man &eel

com&ortable and sa&e in our presence anmore, so that ou no longer are in a worst case

scenario!

9ltimatel, easing our mans pain, worries, and doubts about ou, means reaching him in awa that he wants to be reached, especiall when the circumstances are intense! Thus ou

must reach him in the wa he appreciates and desires, to ultimatel get him to open up to ou

again, emotionall and phsicall!

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