Family Meeting / Self-Government

Pre-Service Workshop

Self-Government Components

• Family Meeting– Decision making meeting of all family members

• Peer Reporting– Youth are encouraged to report, not tattle, incidents of problem

behaviors and rule violations

• Self-Reporting– Youth are encouraged to report when they have engaged in

inappropriate behavior as a way to help them learn to monitor their own behavior

• Manager System– A youth leadership position to aid home management

Goals of Self-Government• Help the youth make decisions, achieve goals

– To allow the youth to provide meaningful input into the program which creates:

• Responsiveness• High youth satisfaction• Increased program effectiveness• Enhances reputation

– To help the youth develop a sense of responsibility for self and others– To teach concepts and skills that develop youth’s leadership such as:

• Conflict resolution• Problem solving• Decision making• Cooperation• Leadership• Giving constructive criticism• Fairness, pleasantness, concern, effectiveness

Rationales

• Rationales:– Saves Family Teachers/Treatment Parents

time and energy.– Increases youth satisfaction with the program.– Helps youth develop the skills and values to

make good decisions affecting both them and their peers.

Topics• Topics range from:

– Deciding consequences for an inappropriate behavior to deciding where to go on a family outing.

• Some helpful rules of thumb in deciding which topics are appropriate.– First, is to allow only, topics with which the family

teachers/treatment parents are comfortable to be introduced.

– Second, it is helpful to choose topics which have teaching value for the whole family.

Areas to look to find Topics

• establishing rules• changing rules• encouraging special accomplishments• determining consequences• evaluating the fairness of consequences• teaching basic social skills• planning outings and vacations• electing and evaluating house managers

Guidelines for Structure• Explain what each persons role is.

– For example and older youth may have more responsibilities than a younger youth.

• Explain the process for implementation.– Family Meeting– Sign Up Sheet– Manager System

• Teach the needed skills to each youth. – Honesty, Accepting Feedback, Assertiveness, Self-Advocacy, and Peer / Self

Reporting • Teach and demonstrate the critical concepts needed to

address problems appropriately. – Fairness, Pleasantness, Concern, and Effectiveness

• Provide the proper motivation for each youth. – Some youth need more praise and positive consequences, where other youth

need more tangible motivators.

Process for Implementation• Give rationales:

– Take one or two entire Family Meetings to explain what Family Meeting is and the rationales for having this component.

– Rationales can be: group decision making, saving time, opportunities for youth participation, insuring fairness, et. can be given.

• Explain Family Meeting Topics: – Hold one Family Meeting that is devoted to explaining what type of

topics are appropriate for family meeting. – When discussing the range of topics, it is important to emphasize that

Family Teachers/Treatment Parents will ultimately determine which topics are to be discussed.

• Discuss Family Meeting Rules:– It is helpful to explain basic Family Meeting rules prior to having the first

"real" meeting. – The rationales that rules makes the process orderly and Gives everyone

an equal opportunity for input is usually acceptable.

Implementation Continued

• Model Several Family Meetings: – Modeling helps, youth see appropriate topics, rule following, and

Family Meeting behavior demonstrated by Family Teachers/Treatment Parents.

• Have "Mock" Family Conferences.• Begin With Simple Topics:

– It is wise to begin with simple problems whose solutions have obvious benefits for the youth.

Benevolent Dictatorship

• Early in the program or anytime a Family Teacher/Treatment Parent needs to control the process, this role is appropriate. – The goals of this role is to inform youth of decisions made,

rationales for decisions and model the types of decisions desired.

– Youth authority is minimal. Youth are asked questions such as "Do you understand?“ or questions that elicit "Yes" or "no“ answers.

– The only decision power granted youth is a vote on whether or not a decision was fair.

• This vote is a test for Family Teachers to see how well their rationales were accepted.

When to Use Benevolent Dictatorship

• Topics that usually require the "benevolent dictator" rolein new transition programs are:– decisions about daily schedule– consequences for rule violations– consequences for major misbehaviors of individual youth– establishing rules such as study time, smoking limits, weekend

curfews, etc.

• It is wise to avoid the following early in a program:– criticism of Family Teachers– criticism of the program– any topic that cannot be discussed pleasantly

Levels of Youth Self Government

• Besides the "benevolent dictatorship," there are other basic levels of youth authority in decision making. These are (from least skill to most skill required):

1. Youth discuss issues

2. Youth vote youth versus youth issues

3. Youth decide on standard consequences

4. Youth vote on youth versus Family Teacher issues

5. Youth decide individual consequences

6. Youth run Family Meeting with Family Teacher help

Aspects of Family Meeting

• Daily (weekly in TFH) meeting of youth and Family Teachers, where issues and behaviors are discussed and decided upon through voting.

• Important medium for youth to learn how to deal with conflicts and to solve them rationally.

• Moves from a meeting directed by Family Teachers to a meeting directed by youth.

Family Meeting Concepts

• Organization

• Process

• Meeting Goals of Self-Government

• Teaching prior to and during Family Meeting

• Critical Concepts

• Atmosphere

Organization• There are many aids and tips to running effective Family Meetings. Here are

a few examples: – having rules for the meeting – pre-teaching– a standard meeting time– alternate leading meetings– have seating arrangements– use procedure lists

• Regular Meetings• Sign UP Process• Family Meeting Notebook in Use

– Plan Ahead Topics– Record Keeping

• Clear Initiation and adjournment• Use of Review Dates

Process

• Clear Discussion Process• Soliciting Youth Opinion• Summarizing Issues• Voting• Allowing Youth to Make

Decisions• Implementing Decision

• Rational Problem Solving

• Conversation skills• Generalization• Decision making• Legitimate self-

government issues

Meeting Goals

Teaching• Teaching prior to Family Meeting:

– Prompting Youth to Sign up for Topics– How to present opinions and rationales– How to Present Opinions and Rationales– How to Present and Accept Feedback– Rational Problem solving through SODAS

• Teaching during family meeting– Prompts– Consequences– Teaching interactions– Instructions– Effective praise

Critical Concepts & Atmosphere

• Fair

• Effective

• Pleasant

• Concern

• Lack of excessive formality or informality

• Use of humor

• Enthusiasm

• Voice tone

Peer Reporting• Introducing Peer Reporting System:

– Introduce Early– Teach difference between reporting and “Ratting” or “Tattling” – Teach rationales for use with peers and for peer reporting

system • Accepting and Reinforcing Reports

– Praise and Points, Consequences– Accept Private Reports – Encourage Public Reports– Use Gentle Prompts – Fine Failure to Report

• Determining Legitimacy – Compare Notes – Gather Additional Information – Consider Histories – Consider Motives – Act on Reasonable Certainty

Manager System• Manager System

– One youth is given the responsibility for monitoring and providing consequences for specified behaviors of the other youth in home.

• Rationales– Helps Family Teachers Teach skills and reinforce generalization of

skills:• Leadership• Responsibility• Cooperation• Fairness• Honesty• Peer interaction skills

– Helps youth be skilled observers of behavior– Youth learn to select and change leaders– Youth are actively involved in home's management– Saves Family Teacher's time, extends ability to monitor youth

Resources

Family Meeting / Self-Government

FAMILY CONFERENCE - A SYSTEM OF SEMI-SELF GOVERNMENT

Daniel L. Daly Pamela B. Daly

Craig MillerCornelius Bibb

Family MeetingTime began: Prior approval:Time ended: Pre-teaching: Yes ❑

No ❑Effective date:Review date:(forward to proper date)

Led by:Date: Announcements:Topic:Rationales:

Family Meeting Log Example

Example

Example

• Decision:

• Consequences:

• Critical Concepts:– Fair Effective Concern pleasant

• Benefit of decision for home:

INTRODUCTION - Part I

• In Part I of this Family Conference section, the following topics will be emphasized:1. rationales

2. definition of Family Conference

3. typical Family Conference topics

4. how to initiate Family Conference

5. how much self government

6. organizational aids

7. Family Conference procedures

Functional Definition• Self Government:

– A Family Meeting including all home members • Meetings are about 15 minutes long and are held

about five times per week (particularly in new homes or homes with new couples).

• Discuss issues such as establishing rules, evaluating the fairness of decisions and helping family members to benefit from the program.

– Problem Solving (SODAS)– Reporting Problems– Manager System

Rationales• Family Meeting is a time saver because many rules,

consequences, scheduling issues, etc. can be decided upon with everyone present - avoiding consumption of time in individual discussions. Similarly, it is an energy saver because the Family Conference component can prevent repetition of rule violations or problem behaviors by having the whole family deal with misbehaviors of individual members. Also, good behavior is promoted in the whole family by praising and encouraging accomplishments of individual members.

• Youth satisfaction is increased because youth are given a voice in "unpopular" decisions such as rule establishment or setting consequences for problem behaviors. Youth participation also serves the Family Teacher because youth are more likely to cooperate with rules and decisions they have helped to make.

Definition

• Family Meeting is not a means by which youth override Family Teacher decisions. Youth responsibility for governing the program is directly proportional to their ability to handle the responsibility.

• Sometimes Family Conference is confused with "positive peer culture" meetings or "group therapy" sessions. Unlike the latter, Family Conference does not have personality change as a outcome goal. The expected outcomes of the Family Conference process are the making of fair and effective family decisions and the learning of responsible self-government skills by individual members.

Reporting Guidelines

Teach the needed skills to report behavior.

• Peer Reporting: Youth are encouraged to report, not tattle, incidents of problems behaviors and rule violations.

• Self Reporting: Youth are encouraged to report when they have engaged in inappropriate behavior as a way to help them learn to monitor their own behavior

Topics

• Initiating Family Conference– In most new programs, most topics are introduced by Family Teachers

because youth are hesitant to participate or sometimes participate inappropriately. It is not at all unusual for Family Teachers to dominate the process for the first six months of anew program or the first two months of a transition program. In fact, initial control of the Family Conference process is important.

– The fact that youth are slow to participate in the fashion Family Teachers would like actually works to the advantage of Family Teachers. It gives a period of time in which tolerance levels an be established both for the topics discussed and the decisions made. Without this period of initial control, both the Family Conference component and the program at large will develop with difficulty. Some tips on how to capitalize on the early period of maximum Family Teacher control will be listed here.

– In new programs, Family Teachers can give these rationales. In transition programs, youth can be questioned by Family Teachers as a check for the youth understanding of the rationales.

• Explaining topics– Again, Family Teachers would play a didactic role in new

programs and check youth knowledge of topics by questions in transition programs.

– Youth will accept the rationale that Family Teachers must exercise this option because they are responsible for every decision in the home.

Basic Rules & RationalesBasic rules and rationales for rules in most homes are:

1. Everyone must raise their hand before speaking. This prevents interrupting and allows everyone a chance to talk.

2. All members should look at the speaker. Attending to the speak is courteous and saves time by insuring that what is said is heard by everyone.

3. When making a suggestion or criticism of any kind, always give the reason. This allows everyone to evaluate a suggestion according to the purpose intended.

4. When voting, everyone votes (no abstentions). Family decisions involve everyone.

5. If someone has a topic, a Family Conference Card should be filled out at least one hour in advance of the meeting. This allows the Family Teacher time to help prepare the person for bringing up the topic.

6. Speak in a normal tone of voice. This helps to maintain a pleasant atmosphere.7. Stay on the topic. This saves time for everybody and helps in making good

decisions.8. Should someone consistently break conference rules or be disruptive, they will

be excluded for at least that session without the right to vote on the issue. This promotes orderly meetings and gives everyone a fair chance to participate.

9. If someone is excluded, they will spend the meeting time with a Family Teacher. This will help the person learn proper participation.

Have "Mock" Family Conferences

Explaining the rationales, the topics, the rules, and demonstrating the process usually will take about one week. During the second week, Family Teachers can concentrate on having several mock conferences where pretend issues are on the agenda. Issues such as what consequences to give a youth for cussing a teacher, how to effectively change a rule such as a 9:00 p.m. bedtime or how to reduce an unfair consequence such as 1,000,000 points for cussing could be discussed. Obviously, the goal of mock conferences is to give youth an opportunity to practice Family Conference skills and to give much feedback on their behavior.

Beginning with Simple Topics• Again, maximum feedback should be given youth on their

performance. Ideally, the best start is positive feedback and simple issues maximize this.

• Family Teachers should avoid having youth handle charged issues at first. Should an issue come up that must be on the agenda (e.g., violations of bedtime hour), Family Teachers have two options - either to deal individually with the issue or to play the benevolent dictator role (discussed later) in bringing it to Family Conference.

• A nice rule of thumb to use in early Family Conference is to give youth only as much authority in decision making as they can responsibly handle. If youth can discuss an issue pleasantly and make a decision Family Teachers agree with, then they are dealing with things responsibly. Whenever youth cannot handle a topic, Family Teachers can return to the "benevolent dictator" role.

Proceeding With Complex Topics

As youth progress in skill, more difficult topics can be handled. Youth are typically given more responsibility in the process according to the difficulty of the topic. For example, an "easy" topic such as where to go on a family outing may well be handled with considerable youth input. A "difficult" topic such as a decision to have a nightly study hour may require maximal Family Teacher control and little youth input. Family Conference then proceeds in stages and these are determined by the youth ability to handle issues as Family Teachers would wish

Benevolent Dictatorship• Even if youth have the skills to respond appropriately to such topics, Family

Teachers are wise to avoid them because it sets precedents about what kind of topics are appropriate. Topics such as these can be handled individually.

• Even early in a program, certain topics can be determined with considerable youth input. Examples are:– family outings– what to buy with house funds– where to go on vacations– rules for clothes borrowing– privacy rules

• Should one of these "easy" topics become "difficult," Family Teachers can always take control and assume the benevolent dictator role.

Levels of Youth Self Government

• The level of youth authority is determined by the topic early in a program. It is frequently a 6-8 month process before Family Teachers have taught sufficient skills where maximum youth authority is given for most any topic. The first months respond teaching these skills. The benevolent dictator role is used for all topics until the skills needed at a certain level have been taught. The youth discussion level refers to topics on which the Family Teacher retains decision making authority, but encourages youth to express their ideas. Open ended questions such as "Who knows the rationales for a bed-time rule?" or "Are there any other options?" are used to prompt input. The skills needed by youth at this level is a calm tone of voice and the ability to give rationales. Family Teacher goals at this level are to prompt input, to reinforce participation, to consider youth ideas, but to retain decision power. Most non-emotional topics can fit into this level early in a program.

Skill Level Required:voting youth versus youth

• The level of youth voting on youth versus youth issues occurs for issues where youth behavior is creating problems for other youth. Topics that appropriately fit at this level early in a program are:– borrowing clothes– youth tying up "teen line"– youth music too loud for some roommates– roommate not keeping his area clean

Skill Level Required:youth versus family teacher

• Family Teachers usually have no difficulty allowing youth the deciding vote on such issues because the decision affects youth much more intimately than the adults. The skill needed by youth at this level is the ability to vote for the option that solvesthe problem for the most people.

• The level of youth deciding standard consequences occurs when youth earn the skill of giving consequences for misbehaviorsuch as rule infractions or breaks in the daily schedule.

• Examples of topics where youth might decide standard consequences are:– staying up past bedtime– being late for school– late preparation of the evening meal– missing a homework assignment

Skill Levels• Of course, should youth vote on youth versus Family Teacher

issues occurs when youth learn the skill of making decisions that have social order rather than only personal benefit. One measure of "social order benefit" is whether youth perceive what is best for them in the long run versus the short run. For instance, when youth can decide that at least one hour of study-time is more important to their future than one hour of free-time, they are exercising this judgment. When they make the kinds of decisions for themselves that adults usually make for youth, they are at this level. Examples of topics at this level are:– how long should study time last– deciding on bed time– changing the time in on weekends– reducing an "unfair" consequence

Skill Level• Obviously, these topics require considerable skill and the Family

Teacher will move back into the "benevolent dictator" role frequently to demonstrate the skills necessary.

• Situations where individual improvement or misbehaviormerits consequences fit into the level of youth decide individual consequences. Youth are ready to handle such issues only after considerable modeling by Family Teacher. The skill necessary here is to decide what consequences will motivate more good behavior and less problem behavior.– Topics such as the following go here:

• grade improvements• fighting by one or more youth• stealing in the home• moving a youth to another system

Final Skill Level

• The final level is youth run Family Conference with Family Teacher help. After youth have basically mastered the skills of previous levels, this becomes a possibility. Family Teachers are always present to monitor the process. The teaching interaction framework is used to teach youth the skills necessary to conduct a practice and feedback is used to teach youth the skills necessary to conduct a conference. Many homes reach this level only after a year or more. Don't set this as a quick goal or you will be disappointed.

Organizational Aids Explanations

• The Family Meeting Notebook allows Family Teachers to pickthe conference agenda, and to prepare themselves and their youth. Also, it is a great record keeper for decisions made.

• Family Conference Rules set a tolerance level for expected behavior. They hasten development of appropriate youth behavior. It is advisable to have them written.

• Pre-teaching can short circuit many problem behaviors and cut conference time by one-half or more. When the Family Conference Card is filled out prior to the meeting, Family Teachers can have individual teaching sessions with youth to prepare them for such behaviors as bringing up a topic, receiving criticism at a meeting, suggesting consequences, etc.

• Having a standard conference time allows everyone toschedule other activities and makes the conference part of the daily routine. Also, it is a nice idea to schedule "free time" after meetings. It motivates everyone to be attentive and do an effective job.

Organizational Aids Explanations Continued…

• Family Teachers are wise to alternate leading meetings for several reasons. First, it is good for your authority role to be seen equal in such functions. Second, if one member is sick or away, the other can run the meeting.

• Having a seating arrangement both for the Family Teachers and youth can help control problem behavior and prompt appropriate behaviors. Most find seating the conference leader at the head of the table convenient. This allows other Family Teachers to be seated in the middle of the table or next to youth who are disruptive or need a lot of prompting. Also, a division of labor helps the person leading the conference deal mainly with content while others deal with youth behavior.

• Finally, use of the procedure lists found in Part II of this section can provide structure and economy to the conferences.

Basic Aspects

• WHEN:

• WHERE:

• LENGTH:

• FREQUENCY;

• LIMITS OF AUTHORITY– Matters beyond control of youth– Youth skill level, ability– Family Teacher voting power

Family Meeting Sign up

Name Date Topic, Rationale

Important Components of the Manager System

• The manager is elected by a majority vote for a specific period of time

• The manager has the authority to use the motivation system within clearly defined limits

• Rewards and points are based on the manager's performance

• The manager can be recalled any time• Everyone can be the manager• The manger is trained

Introducing the Manager System

• Introduce the manager system over the course of several family meetings

• Introduce and discuss the components of the– manager system– Definition– Rationales– Authority and duties– Elections– Evaluation– Rewards– Responding to the manager

When to Initiate the Manager System

• When the Family Teachers have been able to:– Teach their-– Establish-

• When the youth have the following skills:– Accept routine/minor and – Exhibit basic– Know basic criteria– Are able to discuss for other youth at family meeting

Electing the Manager

• Family Teachers appoint the first manager• Next manager is elected at family meeting

– nomination and rationales presented– everyone votes– manager elected for one week, same day each week– no one may serve second term until everyone has been the

manager

• Family Teachers encourage election of youth who would benefit from the experience

• Manager can be recalled by the same process

Manager’s Authority

• Manager supervises and checks assigned tasks– duties limited at first (I-2)– specific, well defined duties are easier to teach and evaluate

• Manager assigns positive and negative points and signs point cards– point amounts are limited– specific point ranges are assigned each task

• Manager reports any inappropriate responses to the Family Teachers

Evaluating the Manager

• Family Teacher's individual observations and feedback• Systematic youth feedback at family meeting

– each youth provides rating (1-4 scale)– each youth provides rationale using one of the critical concepts– each youth gives feedback directly to manager, manager

acknowledges.– Family Teacher summarizes feedback, translates rating to points

• Complaints and feedback need to wait until family meeting to eliminate youth constantly questioning the manager's authority

Sample Chore check sheet Living room chore

• Items not belonging in the room picked up and put away.• Pillows and cushions on couches and chairs neat.• Furniture and decorative items straightened• Furniture dusted with dust cloth and furniture polish• Blinds/curtains open in morning, closed at night• Vacuum carpet• Clean any stains on walls with Fantastic and damp cloth

Each item right = +200 points daily, +100 weeklyEach item not done correctly = -400 point daily, -200 weekly

Teaching the Manager

• Before the manager begins - Family Teacher uses preventive teaching to teach the following skills:– Day 1 - Family' Teacher models the skills, the manager

observes– Day 2 - Family Teacher goes with the manager as she/he

performs duties, gives suggestions and feedback– Day 3 - Family Teacher stands at the door or in vicinity while

youth performs duty– Day 4 - Family Teacher is within hearing range– Day 5 - Family Teacher is available but not directly attending.

The manager reports to the Family Teacher

Possible Duties for the Manager

• Maintenance and routine tasks:– check chores– check breakfast, dinner, snack cleanup– check bedrooms, bathrooms– check hygiene– monitor timeliness at wake-up, bedtime– check lights, appliances, radios before family leaves home– checks laundry

• More sophisticated tasks:– monitors study hour– monitor 5-second rule– giving tour to guests– conducting family meeting

Rewards for being the Manager

• No chore• Checks own bedroom and bathroom• Earns points and allowance• Praise and recognition• Stays up 1/2 hour later• List of special privileges to be purchased with manager

points• Other rewards as decided by youth at family meeting

Family Meeting / Self-Government

Pre-Service Workshop

This training presentation is available for download at:www.utahparenting.org

© 2007 Utah Youth Village.