Family Patterns

Introduction

Write down 5 things that you think of when I say the word “Family.”

Where do our images of what a family is come from?

Images and Reality

Television FamiliesMany families are portrayed each unique.Some solve complex problems in 30 minutesSome are humorous

All show an ideal or image of a family. Do you believe these programs show realistic

family patterns?Why or why not?

Images and Reality

Real-Life Families“The grass is always greener on the other

side.”• Other families may look better to you than what you

have.

Most families don’t show “real life” to outsiders. What you see may look good, but is it the

complete picture?

Images and Reality

A Realistic ApproachChange typically comes from dissatisfaction. There is nothing wrong with wanting to

improve your family life- you should want that.Beware of trying to live up to images that are

false or out of reach. Remember that different doesn’t mean better

or worse- it simply means different.

Family Patterns

A look at the families in our community will tell you one thing for sure:Families come in all different shapes and sizes.

Single FamiliesEven though single people often live alone or

with roommates they are still a part of a family. The bonds between parents, siblings, and other

relatives must be maintained.Single people often have freedoms that are not

found in other family situations.

Family Patterns

Single Families (cont’d)Can rely on friends also to meet the needs that

a family normally would. Can usually come and go as you please.Time to devote to a career and interests.

Family Patterns

CouplesCouples have no children in the home.Greater opportunity to focus on each other- a

close bond is easier to develop.They look to friends, relatives, and community to

add fulfillment. With only two people in the family, money does

not have to spread as far.Conflicts- separate careers

• If both have careers, what happens if one gets a job opportunity in another town?

Family Patterns

Nuclear FamiliesMother, Father, and children. This is what many

people imagine when they think of a typical family.

Responsibility of raising children can be shared.Two incomes are usually needed to support a

family today. • Requiring outside child care, which is not always easy

to find.Having another partner to share the stresses of

day to day life is an advantage.

Family Patterns

Single-Parent FamiliesOne parent and children.

• Causes: divorce, death, abandonment

Big challenge to juggle all responsibilities. Finding time and energy can be difficult.Sometimes harder to set aside quality time to

spend with children.Good to allow other close relatives to help- in a

single-mom household, an uncle may serve as a positive male role model for the children.

Family Patterns

Blended FamiliesHusband, wife, and children from a previous

relationship. “Brady Bunch!”Siblings may be related by marriage rather than

birth, creating roles of step-father or mother.Any new children born into the family will be half-

brother or sister to the other siblings. • This means they share one, but not both parents.

Takes patience and understanding from both parents and children to make successful adjustments.

Family Patterns

Extended Families Includes relatives other than parents and children-

grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins etc.• These people are part of your extended family whether you live

together or not.

Many of us depend on extended family to help meet our needs.

Friends can be selected, families cannot. Can make getting along with relatives challenging. Family ties are important, disagreements can affect many

extended family members.

Family Patterns

Adoptive Families Adopted children are not biologically linked to their

parents.• Parents have gone through legal procedures to make the children

part of their family.

Some families have both birth and adopted children Adoption occurs for many reasons. When an infant is adopted, most of the adjustment is by

the parents. When an older child is adopted, the adjustment comes

from both sides. It takes time to build trust and security.

Family Patterns

Legal GuardiansA relative or close friend of the family may step in

as a legal guardian for a child, when or if the parent is unable to care for the child.

Legal Guardian- a person appointed by the court to have financial and legal responsibility for taking care of the child.

The child’s last name is not changed when this occurs.

Family Patterns

Foster Families A family who cares for a child on a temporary basis.

• Can range from a few days to many years.

Foster homes provide a place to stay for children who need it, for whatever reason.

• Waiting for adoption, family problems

Foster families are carefully screen by state agencies, they receive a small amount of money from the state to pay for the child’s expenses.

Foster parenting is both rewarding and challenging. It can be hard for both parents and children to become

attached, knowing that the situation is temporary.

Many Variations

Families are as unique as the individual members within them.

Even though we have family patterns, not all families fit perfectly into those distinctions.

What really makes a family a family is not how it is structured, but rather what goes on inside.

Families provide skills, strength, and knowledge that help its members cope and carry on in life.

Review

How do television families differ from real families?

What are some freedoms often enjoyed by single people?

What advantages do couples have over other types of families?

How do nuclear families differ from blended families?

What is an extended family? Explain the difference between adoptive families

and foster families.

Family Personalities

What is family personality?

Just as you have personality, so does a family.

All the individuals and their unique characteristics combine to make up a one of a kind family personality.

Components of a families personality include:Atmosphere in the homeFamily managementDependence level of family membersFamily values and goals

Different Atmospheres

After spending some time in a family’s home, you become aware of the atmosphere.

It may feel relaxed and organized –or- fast and furious.

The attitude may be causal and friendly –or- formal and distant.

Different Atmospheres

Jones Family

Loud, Laugh & Cry, Displays of Affection are common, Like to tease, Learned to give and take, Emotions are revealed to everyone, Arguments are frequent but short, when they are over they are forgotten.

Williams Family

Quiet, Talk but do not joke. They care about each other but do not show affection a lot, Display feelings by doing things for each other rather than talking about it. Very few arguments, get uncomfortable around anger and disagreements.

Family Management Styles

The Autocratic StyleFamily responsibilities and major decisions are

made by one person.Example: In Rachel’s family, Dad makes major

decisions for the family. Mom has no interest in taking this kind of responsibility.

Family Management Styles

The Democratic StyleDecision making is distributed and made by

more than one person. Opinions of all or most family members are considered.

Example: In Kyle’s family, Mom is a good money manager so she takes care of finances. Both parents make major decisions together. As a family they decide on where they will go for vacation. They share household duties and chores.

Family Management Styles

The Laissez-Faire StyleNo one is responsible for making family

decisions. Each family member is given freedom to make choices of their own.

Can be dangerous and hard to keep the family organized.

There is very little structure- Who will pay the bills? What is for dinner? Who will take Johnny to soccer practice?

Dependence & Independence

The aim in parenting is to raise children that will eventually become independent.Independent- having the ability to take care of

yourself. Increase in independence means an increase in

responsibility. Dependents- rely on others to take care of them

and make their decisions. All children are dependent from the start, but as

they get older they become more independent.

Dependence & Independence

As children become capable of doing things for themselves it is important for families to encourage and support this independence.

Too much dependence can be a problem. Children who do not develop independence have

trouble associating and functioning in the outside world.

They depend on family members to make their decisions for them, rather than seeking support or opinions when needed.

Dependence & Independence

In families that function well independence is promoted but not carried to the

extreme.Members are encouraged to make decisions and

explore relationships.Members are close and spend quality time

together without feeling confined or limited.The family provides a support system and a link

to many opportunities and experiences.

Family Goals

Goal- something you plan to be, do or have, and are willing to work for it.

The goals that drive your family may be different from other families. Examples: Jackson’s family wants to move

closer to their grandparents, they are making plans to save money and get ready to move.

Goals are based on the unique values of the family.

Different families make different choices everyday.

Goals Are Important Which part of the target

do you aim at? If there was no target,

how would you know where to aim?

How do families know where to aim their efforts if they have no goal or target?

Review

Identify four characteristics of family personalities. Describe each characteristics in terms of your family.

Describe what is meant by “atmosphere of the family.”

What is the difference between autocratic and democratic management styles?

Why do goals vary among different families?

Family Life Cycle

What is a lifecycle?

A lifecycle is a series of stages families go through as the structure of the family changes.

Not every family follows the life cycle in order or description because each family is unique.

Understanding the stages in the lifecycle of a family can help prepare parents and other family members for the challenges and demands each stage brings.

STAGE 1: Starting as a Couple

In this stage, two people form a family unit separate from each one’s original family unit

There are no children in this stage of the life cycle.

What challenges face the beginning family as they prepare for the parenting process?

What roles may be assumed by the family members in this stage?

STAGE 2: Expanding Family

During this stage, children are added to the family.

What challenges face the expanding family as they begin the parenting process?

How will roles change in the family when the first child is born?

Stage 3:Developing Family

This stage begins when the last child starts school.

What challenges face the developing family with children from ages 6-20 years?

Will these challenges affect family roles?

STAGE 4: Launching Family

This stage begins with the departure of the oldest child and ends with the departure of the youngest child from the family unit.

This stage holds many challenges for families. What are some of them?

STAGE 5: Middle Years

This stage is sometimes called the “empty nest” stage, because the children have left the original family unit.

This stage has parents with children who are now independent and living on their own.

What challenges would face parents in the empty nest stage?

How do roles change for family members in this stage of the cycle?

Stage 6: Retirement Years

Not everyone views retirement the same. Some may be happy and excited. Others may be fearful and full of stress. What challenges would families face during the

retirement stage? How do roles change for family members in this

stage of the cycle?

Do all families go through these stages?

Are all families “nuclear” (two parents with children)?

Do all families face the same challenges?

How do roles change as the family moves through different stages?

Life Cycle Questions

What happens to parents’ roles when an older member of the family needs care?

What happens to children’s roles as each sibling moves out to live independently?

What happens when a child moves back in because of economic or emotional reason?

Remember….

The family life cycle is one way to look at the roles and responsibilities of parenting.

In ‘real life’, the life cycle may be a combination of several stages at one time!

Family Sketch Activity

In your notebook, draw a sketch of your family. Label your sketch with the following information:

1. How many people are in your family?

2. What are the ages of your family members?

3. Who currently lives at home?

4. What stage of the family life cycle do you believe your family is currently in?

5. What challenges does your family currently face in this stage of the life cycle?

Families in a Changing World: Trends that Affect Families

Yesterday’s families

1700’s most families lived on a farm in North America. Intense physical labor by all family members was

required to keep the home and farm running. 1800’s families began to move to urban areas.

Farming declined and industry boomed. Labor by all still required, but many worked outside

the home to make enough money for the family to survive.

Yesterday’s families vs. Today’s families

Similarities:Families have always worked to provide for their

members. Basic needs of families remain the same.

Differences:Today- families are rapidly changing.Today- families affected by a growing number of

outside influences.

Family patterns: Single People

Number of single households are on the rise.

Many now choose to remain single. Waiting to marry at older ages also

contributes to a high number of singles.

Divorce and death are also causes.

Family patterns: Couples

Couples who co-habitat also make up a large portion of society.

More couples are now waiting to have children, choose to have fewer children, or choose to have no children at all.

Couples who have already raised and launched their children contribute to this group as well.

Family Patterns: Nuclear Families

Make up fewer than ½ of American families today.

Divorce has had a large effect on this number. Yesterday’s Nuclear Family = stay at home

mom and a father who worked outside the home.

Today mom’s have entered the workforce changing the way a nuclear family looks.

Family Patterns: Blended Families

Occurs when divorce people with children remarry.

Very common today. Although the rate of blended families is

beginning to decrease.

Family patterns: Single-Parent Families

The fastest growing household category. Contributing Factors =

Increase in divorceRise in births to unwed mothers

Family Patterns: Extended Families

Live together under the same roof. Adult children, along with their own

children, who live with their parents. Older relatives may have to move in with

family members for care.

The Aging Population

People today are living much longer than they used to.Why do you think this is?

The Baby Boom after WWII has increased the population of aging people.

Homes, Transportation, and Support Services for these people may need to be modified.

Many members of the aging population require special care. How would this affect families?

The Changing Workplace

New jobs are created daily- it is possible that you may hold a job in the future that does not exist today.

Yesterday the focus was on Manufacturing Jobs- making goods such as cars, appliance, and equipment.

Today the focus is on Service Jobs- involves aiding computers and providing service to others.

Service Industry

Service Jobs make up the Service Industry. Over ¾ of employed Americans now work in

service industry. Many people work from home, provided

products or services to others from the comfort of their homes.What has made this possible?

This has lead to a decrease in manufacturing jobs and an increase in the need to acquire skills.

Dual Income Families

Many families now have 2 wage earners. This creates special needs for the family:

Needs for child careNeed for household managementNeed for additional services due to less time.

A Global Workplace

The workplace has shifted from local to global. Many of the products and services developed in

a specific area may be sold in other countries.Can you think of examples?

Some businesses in your community could be owned by someone from another country.Meaning decisions made about the workplace in

your community may be made on the other side of the world.

Lifelong Education

The idea that people of all ages can attend college and gain training.

Due to the service industry, new skills are often required to secure jobs and to enter the workplace.

Many people must go back to school at an older age to build up their skills and/ or to upgrade their position.