Family Faith

ReconciliationProgramme

2010 series

Seven year olds are learning all the tim

e - particularly from what goes on at home.

It is in the home that children learn right from wrong

- and what it means to be sorry and be forgiven.

What does "Reconciliation"

mean to children?

Family Faith Reconciliation 2010 seriesContents

Front cover

UNIT ONESession One: ParentsWhat is Reconciliation About? Leader’s Guide‘Yours Truly’ DiscussionLeafletWhat do you think? Take-homeMy own story Take-home

Session Two: FamilyReconciliation in the Family Leader’s GuideJohnnyfigure for flip-chartWhat do you think? Hand-outMy own story Hand-out

UNIT TWOSession One: ParentsWhat do we say...What do we hear..? Leader’s GuideBlank figure for flip-chart‘Fr Listen’ & Paper people Hand-outA5figures

Session Two: FamilyRehearsing Conf. with Paper People Leader’s Guide‘Fr Listen’ & Paper people Hand-outA5figures

‘Paulo Freire and informal education’ Hand-out for leaders

Back Cover

What is Reconciliation

About?

Family Preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation

Unit 1, Session One

Parents' Workshop

2010 Leader's Guide

2

The Various Methods used in this session 1. Switching between table discussions and whole group work.

Table DiscussionsIt is obvious that only some people feel free to talk out in a large group. Small table groups give everyone a voice. But there is more to it than that. Table discussions help people explore their own thoughts and begin to frame their opinions in words. These discussions are also a first step towards whole-group conclusions. Even when time is short, the end result is usually improved by giving a few minutes to this table exercise.

Whole-group WorkThere are crucial points in the session when the participants and Presenter work together as a whole group. Though only a selection of participants speak, everyone’s ideas have taken shape by talking with others at table. So each can feel that: it is their own words which have gradually built up the ideas and so contibuted to the peak of the session.

3. The Magazine Method (The magazine, Yours Truly, is used throughout this session.)

‘Yours Truly’ gives the parents freedom to explore different ways of responding to their children. To aid this, the first two pages are entirely about fictitious situations.

The parents should be discouraged from bringing up their own child-rearing practices at this point. Only after the Sue story on page 3 are they invited to describe something of their family situation. Even this piece is structured to address only their awareness of helpful rituals and patterns in their home.

There should be no public suggestion that some of the parents’current practices are ‘wrong’. This only causes distress and defensiveness. Whatever changes they see would be helpful in their homes should not be discussed in public - but allowed to grow comfortably in their own minds.

2. Using ChartsOne of the greatest challenges to the Presenter is to remain focused on the main point of the session - while using words that are coming from every part of the room. Creating a chart in three steps helps everyone to work towards a shared conclusion. 1. People call out their responses. Each contribution is accepted without criticism and written up - briefly;2. The Presenter works with the Chart-writer to see that all ideas are recorded;3. Starting from the chart, the Presenter then begins to talk about some of the ideas.There is no need to use all the answers. At this stage everyone is working towards the climax. Unused wording can be left without comment. The point of this 3 step processThe first two steps allow the Presenter a few moments to consider the points made and pick out the most useful ones - without having to respond to them immediately. (Other Team members can also see the progress and think whether they need to intervene to keep the activity on track.)

These 2 background-support pages are inserted at the start of this 1st session booklet to outline the methods used.They also offer the leader/catechist thoughts on: 1. The way this sacrament has changed through time; 2. The importance and use of signs. In the Reconciliation pack there is a separate folder containing Additional Material. This may be useful when sessions need to be varied.

3

Session 1 Resources

MaterialsFlip Chart & Felt Pens

Copies of MagazineA copy is required for each participant.

Copies of Johnny's story &'My Own Story' take-home papers for children.One copy for each child

IntroductionThe introduction reminds parents that, in the church today,this sacrament may have a different meaning and message from that taught when they were children.

In today’s teaching, personal awareness of sin is the starting pointConfession of sin is then the first practical step - but not the focus of the Sacrament. The sacrament is about harmony and reconciliation.

After that brief introduction, a copy of the magazine ‘Yours Truly’ is given to each participant.A thoughtful discussion of the magazine’s contents is the main part of this whole session.

This is a Two Unit Programme: a Unit is made up of a pair of Sessions.The first session in each Unit is for the adults themselves.The second is a family session.

The focus of the first Unit is the home and how the child learns there about the human need for reconciliation with family and friends.

The second Unit explores the way we acknowledge our sinfulness and experience God's forgiveness, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Throughout this Programme, Session Guide suggestions and/or Team Notes are printed in red or blue.

4

How the Family can Help Your child will only make sense of this Sacrament if he/she already knows how to 'make-up' at home. Home is the best place to learn: to own up; to be forgiven; to enjoy a sense of belonging and awareness of being at peace with one another again.

This magazine, Yours Truly, may help us discuss ways of understanding children’s need to put things right - and parents’ need to give helpful example! (Give out Magazines)

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is often a problem to us. So, before we prepare our children, we need to look at the Sacrament for ourselves.

The whole Church is searching for the real meaning of this Sacrament. It used to be called Confession, and going into a confessional and telling our sins seemed to be the point.

Then it was called Penance,so we thought it was about showing sorrow andsaying a penance, like so many 'Hail Marys'.

Both of these ideas were about ourselves. It could feel that we were on our own. There was litle suggestion of belonging to God - or being loved. Today we are much more aware of the Goodness of God - and of each person's personal relationship with that Good God.

So the sacrament is now called Reconciliation, which means ‘being re-united’. The result of reconciliation should be harmony. We should know that we are friends with God.

Confession

Penance

Reconciliation

Introduction

Team Notes Magazine , first page: different voices read out the storiesThis whole session is based on reading aloud from the Magazine. Readers are needed to give participants a change from the Presenter’s voice. Moreover, people remember best the things they did or said themselves. So parents should be involved, where this is possible, as well as members of the Team.

All the stories are in simple straightforward language - but participants do not know that until they have seen the text! When everyone has a copy - and has had time to see the text - the idea of volunteer readers could be voiced.When it is time for a story, a moment for preparation should be offered before asking someone to begin.

ReconciliationSession 1. Parents What is Reconciliation About?

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is an experience of the wonderful forgiveness of God.

To appreciate this, children need a heightened consciousness of everyday, family forgiveness.

Helping their children come to that realization is the main point of this meeting with parents.

51

At a Parish meeting, parents and children were asked

to prepare a story together.

Seven year olds are learning all the time - particularly from what goes on at home.It is in the home that children learn right from wrong

- and what it means to be sorry and be forgiven.

I was out playing when the icecream van came round. I shouted up to the window for money to spend. But my mother said, 'No!' I wouldn't listen to her. I went on shouting - but I didn't get it. I stopped shouting and went up to the door - and then it was alright. She gave me the money.

What does "Reconciliation" mean to children?

• Brian does not seem to remember any time when he realised he was wrong and owned up!

Talk with the people near you and make up a story that a boy like Brian could tell about a time when:

he knew he was wrong, owned up & showed he was sorry.

How could the parent help him put his story together?

2

What the "Experts" say:Both stories could happen with the same child. Seven year olds are not clear about what they, themselves, should do to put things right. They need explanation and discussion - on the spot - while the event is still in their minds.

Tommy and his sister, Amanda, told this story: We fell out with Mum and went over to Grandad's house. He gave us money to go to the shop to buy ourselves sweets.

But then we changed our minds. (We might say they had a change of heart.)

We bought biscuits for Mum instead - and took them home to her.

1

The story was to be about a time when the seven year old *knew that he or she was wrong, *had a change of heart and *put things right with their parent.

Here are two of their stories.

Brian's tale shows he knew about times when he was happier because someone else changedBut he was not yet aware of the importance of times when he had to change. So the story he chose missed the whole point of the activity.

• Tommy and AmandaBy returning home with a "peace offering",

Tom and Amanda owned up to whatever had gone wrong and said, Sorry! in action.

How did they come to their change of heart?Did the cooling off time they had

- away from their mother - have anything to do with that change?

Each 'story' is read and discussed separately. To start this, a different voice (a parent's?) reads Tommy and Amanda' story.

6

Discussion of Johnny’s Story Where possibie, all Team members should take part in the conversation at table.By the time the table discussions end there will be a range of reactions to be shared.

The Presenter (and chart writer) picks up a few of the answers (which may be amusing!) for a chart The Presenter uses the different ideas on the chart to show that they could be grouped to form this sequence:

a) DispleasureChildren can find that owning up is greeted with wrath! (There should be a good enough sense of fun in the room for people to give amusing, yet truthful, answers expressing annoyance, frustration etc.)

b) CorrectionParents may be ready to follow these first reactions with suggestions about helping their children take responsibility for what they did.

c) Forgiveness This subject is only noted here. But it might be helpful to introduce the idea of Restitution (eg broken window story)

Time will be given to exploring Forgiveness in the discussion on Harmony restored - Reconciliation. ( Magazine Page three)

The sequence leads to discussion on the role of each category in teaching the child the importance of goodness.

It might be useful to illustrate the point with a story.

The response from Tony (Johnny's brother)The workshop is focussed on the response of parents to their children. At some point it is important to look at how children learn to forgive one another, but that is an extension of the main subject - and might be left for family discussion at home.

Team Notes

.What do you think? What Might the Parent Say?

7

'Owning up' is the 1st step to 'Making Up'

Johnny's StoryA mother told her son, Johnny not to touch

a ball belonging to his brother, Tony.Johnny later took the ball

and went out to play with Jimmy, his friend.The ball went under a car and burst!

Jimmy and Johnny both come up to the door with the burst ball.

What do they say?

Owning up is not easy!Do children sometimes own up by actions?(Show the thing they have spoiled? Express regret by a cuddle? What else?)

What Do You Think?

Many books are written by experts on how to bring up childen. But, in the end, you have to be your own expert. Try out your skills on this story!

Johnny has to learn that:1. Taking the ball was wrong;2. This is a time when ‘sorry’ is not enough!

What might the mother say to Johnny about the burst ball?

Forgiveness is the 2nd Step

Parent's First ResponseSmall children cannot make judgements by themselves. They may not see the difference between an accident and a deliberate fault - like taking a forbidden ball!The seriousness of their wrong-doing has to be reflected in the parent’s face and words.

......The Experts sa

y

Young children can learn to:

care about people;

be sorry when they hurt them;

try to put the relationship right.

But -

They need to be given

a lot of encouragement.

Children need to learn to forgive others. How will Tony react to Johnny and the burst ball? Will he forgive?

*

2

Children need to feel forgiven and loved.

Every attempt at regretshould be sealed with

a friendly gesture - a smile, a hug, etc.

8

Team Notes Magazine page Three

Parents need time and encouragement to explore this issue of forgiveness at home. Three readings introduce the idea:Making up can be a bit Smudgy!Sue’s Story;Special Correspondent.

Could Reconciliation happen like this in your house?The Presenter should offer an easy example before opening this discussion. The story should be something within everyone’s experience, such as a cup of tea offered after a quarrel. The discussion continues at the table.Each table group is then asked if they have a story to share with everyone. A volunteer comes out and tells the tale. Sharing a few of the stories with the entire group will raise parents’awareness of their own customs.

Finding the words!Summing up a situation cleary and briefly is not an easy task at any time!An open acceptance of the difficulty may help people to acknowledge this common human problem. Later sessions will offer some learning opportunities.

Could Johnny...Some parents may have been taught to use names for their sins like disobedience, telling lies, etc. This short discussion should lead them to see that the children are expected - to tell briefly the story of their misbehaviour and not try to find labels for their faults.

(Telling only the important points of an incident requires a developed language skill. This will be addressed in Unit 2 sessions when we use Paper People.)

9

Do you already know what your children might do to show they want forgiveness?Do they know when you are sorry for something you have said or done?Do you have a story you can share?

Could Reconciliation happen like that in Your House?

Could Johnny say exactly the same words at his First Confession - if he wanted to tell this same story ?

Reconciliation in Words

It is not always clear!

When Sue came out of her room she held out the picture and said, 'That’s for you’. The mother took the picture and showed pleasure and interest in it. Then the mother said, ‘I’ve something for you too. Come and have a sweetie and we’ll watch the T.V. together.’

Sue's Story The little girl, Sue, came home late and the mother was, rightly, annoyed. But she got too angry - and she knew it! Sue banged out of the living room and went to her bedroom. The mother told me that she knew Sue would be making something for her; a drawing, perhaps, to show she was sorry. The mother was sorry too, so she went to the icecream van and bought sweets. Then she waited till Sue was ready.

A Special Correspondent comments on the story:

I was fascinated that they already knew

what the other would do to make up.

They had a kind of family ritual

they both understood, without words.

The Result is ReconciliationHere is what one parent said: 'I don't think I often 'own up' directly - or hear words of forgiveness. That wouldn't work too well in our house - at least among the adults.

I suppose we do 'make up' - but in an indirect way. When I've hurt someone I try to put things right - but it's by looks and gestures with only a few words. The response is a bit 'Smudgy' too.

'Making up' can be a bit Smudgy!

What is it like in your house? Before we try to share our thoughts, read Sue's story.

3

Adults may use actions to show they are sorry but they could use words - if they have thought about where they were wrong and searched, in their minds, for words to express their regret.

If children are to grow in understanding and judgement, they need to find their own words for their mistakes and regrets.What words could Johnny use to own up to his mother about Tony's ball?

10

Team Notes Magazine page Four

Take-Home PaperThe final part of the session prepares the parents to work with their own child at home. The 1st suggestion is a re-telling of Johnny's story - using the 3 steps to make the sequence clear.: Johnny owned up; after some discussion, his parents forgave him; They showed they were happy together again.There is a take-home paper to help with telling Johnnys story, if required.

Only then are they asked to talk, as a family, about a time when the child said ‘sorry’ for doing something wrong. That event is illustrated in the same pattern as the Johnny story, using the 3 spaces in the Take-Home Paper.

This activity should help the child see the three steps of: owning up;

experiencing forgiveness; arriving at harmony and reconciliation.

As this adult session ends, parents are reminded that these papers should be brought back to help with the starting point for the Family Session.

*This home exercise is not easy and only a few may bring back the papers. But, like the table discussions in the session, any attempt at home will be preparation for the following Family Session.

Did you think you said ‘Sorry’?This discussion can only be brief but there might be time for someone to offer suggestions on how to raise the child’s awareness of having a share in the problem - and a willingness to name that share!

11

Parents sometimes know they should apologise, so they say, ‘I’m sorry I shouted at you’. Then they may add, ‘But it was your fault for bringing your dirty boots in.' ..or whatever.

Do you ever do that? Does every apology carry an excuse?

Did you think you said "Sorry"?- when you said: Sorry, but ..........!

A final thought.

Do Adults get it wrong, sometimes?

- Children will do whatever they see their parents doing.So, if we always have an excuse, they will always have an excuse!

If we want them to own up - we will have to be able to do it ourselves!But it is tricky!Children should grow up understanding that wrongs are often two-sided. An apology to them should make them ready to own up to their part - - if they had a share in the trouble.

How do we help them learn this?A Family Faith Production Glasgow

Something to do at HomeTo make sense of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, children need to understand

Three Ideas.Here is an activity which may help them.

Share the Johnny story with your child, using the Three steps:Johnny owned up; his parents talked it through with him & forgave him; They were a happy family again.

Then talk with your child about something he/she did wrong recently.

1. How I owned up and showed I was sorry.

2. What my parent said - & showed forgiveness.

3. What we both did to show that we felt happy together.

Ask them to write or draw:

4

If they can bring back that paper – or their own version of it – to the Family session, we’ll use their ideas as our starting point.

Give out take-home papers

1

At a Parish meeting, parents and children were asked

to prepare a story together.

Seven year olds are learning all the time - particularly from what goes on at home.It is in the home that children learn right from wrong

- and what it means to be sorry and be forgiven.

I was out playing when the icecream van came round. I shouted up to the window for money to spend. But my mother said, 'No!' I wouldn't listen to her. I went on shouting - but I didn't get it. I stopped shouting and went up to the door - and then it was alright. She gave me the money.

What does "Reconciliation" mean to children?

• Brian does not seem to remember any time when he realised he was wrong and owned up!

Talk with the people near you and make up a story that a boy like Brian could tell about a time when:

he knew he was wrong, owned up & showed he was sorry.

How could the parent help him put his story together?

2

What the "Experts" say:Both stories could happen with the same child. Seven year olds are not clear about what they, themselves, should do to put things right. They need explanation and discussion - on the spot - while the event is still in their minds.

Tommy and his sister, Amanda, told this story: We fell out with Mum and went over to Grandad's house. He gave us money to go to the shop to buy ourselves sweets.

But then we changed our minds. (We might say they had a change of heart.)

We bought biscuits for Mum instead - and took them home to her.

1

The story was to be about a timewhen the seven year old

*knew that he or she was wrong, *had a change of heart and *put things right with their parent.

Here are two of their stories.

Brian's tale shows he knew about times when he was happier because someone else changedBut he was not yet aware of the importance of times when he had to change. So the story he chose missed the whole point of the activity.

• Tommy and AmandaBy returning home with a "peace offering",

Tom and Amanda owned up to whatever had gone wrong and said, Sorry! in action.

How did they come to their change of heart?Did the cooling off time they had

- away from their mother - have anything to do with that change?

2010 Edition

'Owning up' is the 1st step to 'Making Up'

Johnny's StoryA mother told her son, Johnny not to touch

a ball belonging to his brother, Tony.Johnny later took the ball

and went out to play with Jimmy, his friend.The ball went under a car and burst!

Jimmy and Johnny both come up to the door with the burst ball.

What do they say?

Owning up is not easy!Do children sometimes own up by actions?(Show the thing they have spoiled? Express regret by a cuddle? What else?)

What Do You Think?

Many books are written by experts on how to bring up childen. But, in the end, you have to be your own expert. Try out your skills on this story!

Johnny has to learn that: 1. Taking the ball was wrong; 2. This is a time - when ‘sorry’ is not enough!

What might the mother say to Johnny about the burst ball?

Forgiveness is the 2nd Step

Parent's First ResponseSmall children cannot make judgements by themselves. They may not see the difference between an accident and a deliberate fault - like taking a forbidden ball!The seriousness of their wrong-doing has to be reflected in the parent’s face and words.

What the Experts say

Young children can learn to:

care about people;

be sorry when they hurt them;

try to put the relationship right.

But -

They need to be given

a lot of encouragement.

Children need to learn to forgive others. How will Tony react to Johnny and the burst ball? Will he forgive?

*

Children need to feel forgiven and loved.

Every attempt at regretshould be sealed with

a friendly gesture - a smile, a hug, etc.

2

'Owning up' is the 1st step to 'Making Up'

Do you already know what your children might do to show they want forgiveness?Do they know when you are sorry for something you have said or done?Do you have a story you can share?

Could Reconciliation happen like that in Your House?

Could Johnny say exactly the same words at his First Confession - if he wanted to tell this same story ?

Reconciliation in Words

It is not always clear!

When Sue came out of her room she held out the picture and said, 'That’s for you’. The mother took the picture and showed pleasure and interest in it. Then the mother said, ‘I’ve something for you too. Come and have a sweetie and we’ll watch the T.V. together.’

Sue's Story The little girl, Sue, came home late and the mother was, rightly, annoyed. But she got too angry - and she knew it! Sue banged out of the living room and went to her bedroom. The mother told me that she knew Sue would be making something for her; a drawing, perhaps, to show she was sorry. The mother was sorry too, so she went to the icecream van and bought sweets. Then she waited till Sue was ready.

A Special Correspondent comments on the story:

I was fascinated that they already knew

what the other would do to make up.

They had a kind of family ritual

they both understood, without words.

The Result is Reconciliation

Here is what one parent said: 'I don't think I often 'own up' directly - or hear words of forgiveness. That wouldn't work too well in our house - at least among the adults. I suppose we do 'make up' - but in an indirect way. When I've hurt someone I try to put things right - but it's by looks and gestures with only a few words. The response is a bit 'Smudgy' too.

'Making up' can be a bit Smudgy!

What is it like in your house? Before we try to share our thoughts, read Sue's story.

3

Adults may use actions to show they are sorry but they could use words - if they have thought about where they were wrong and searched, in their minds, for words to express their regret.

If children are to grow in understanding and judgement, they need to find their own words for their mistakes and regrets.What words could Johnny use to own up to his mother about Tony's ball?

.

Parents sometimes know they should apologise, so they say, ‘I’m sorry I shouted at you’. Then they may add, ‘But it was your fault for bringing your dirty boots in.' ..or whatever.

Do you ever do that? Does every apology carry an excuse?

Did you think you said "Sorry"?- when you said: Sorry, but ..........!

A final thought.

Do Adults get it wrong, sometimes?

- Children will do whatever they see their parents doing.So, if we always have an excuse, they will always have an excuse!

If we want them to own up - we will have to be able to do it ourselves!But it is tricky!Children should grow up understanding that wrongs are often two-sided. An apology to them should make them ready to own up to their part - - if they had a share in the trouble.

How do we help them learn this?A Family Faith Production Glasgow

Something to do at HomeTo make sense of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, children need to understand

Three Ideas.Here is an activity which may help them.

Talk with your children about something they did wrong recently.

1. How I owned up and showed I was sorry.

2. What my parent said to show me I was wrong and then to show forgiveness.

3. What we both did to show that we felt happy together.

Ask them to write or draw:

4

Share the Johnny story with your child, using the Three steps:Johnny owned up; his parents talked it through with him & forgave him; They were a happy family again.

What do you think?This is Johnny and he is seven years old. One day he took his brother’s ball, when he had been told not to touch it - and he burst it!

What might he say to his mother?

How will they show they are friends again?

What might his mother say to him?

My Own Story in three parts

How I owned up

What my father or mother said to correct me then to show I was forgiven

How I felt when I was forgivenand what we did to show we were friends

1

UNIT ONE

Session Two: Family

Reconciliation in the Family Leader’s Guide

Johnny figure for flip-chartWhat do you think? Hand-outMy own story Hand-out

2

Reconciliationin the

Family

Preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation: Family Session

Family Workshop

Unit 1 Session 22010 Leader’s Guide

3

Materials for this session ‘Johnny’ figure, (A4 or larger);

Flip-chart & pens

Pencils/pens

Copy of the ‘My Own Story’ blank for each child

Dishes of sweets for the end.

The sweets being offered should be wrapped and attractive - but they should also be quite ordinary and all the same. an example would be gold-wrapped ‘Wertherers Original ’.The focus needs to remain on the gesture, not on the gift itself.

Here is a useful table arrangement.The tables could fit any numberfrom five to about nine.

There should be no chair at the inner end.This allows all participants to face the presenter or discuss in small groups without having to move their chairs.

4

Now, for the next part, would all the children come out and sit here, please?Here is Johnny. You can see that he is in trouble. Your parents may have told you what happened. His brother had a new ball and Johnny was told not to touch it. But he took it! and he went out to play near the road with his friend, Jimmy. A few minutes later and a badly aimed kick sent the ball into the road - where a car ran over it!

3. Forgiveness and ReconciliationJohnny was shown how wrong he had been. After that, was he forgiven?

1. Owning upIf Johnny decides to own up, what might he say?(write up suggestions)

2. Parent’s First Response? What is his mother or father going to say? They could be very angry!Write up suggestions You were told not to!

Why did you?You know that was wrong!You’ll have to pay for it!

Children return to sit with their parents

Wash dishes Give a hug Tidy up

Let’s talk about it

I still love you.!

I’m sure you’ll not do that kind of thing again!

Part One: Making the Message Clear

When he took the burst ball into the house, what was he going to say?If Johnny began with excuses, what might they be?Take answers without writing them up.

Is making excuses the right way to begin? What should Johnny do?

Did Johnny do anything special to show he was really sorry?

How did Johnny feel when it was all over?Felt good Happy Friendly

Should he also be saying he is sorry for what he has done?How would he do that? If sorrow has already been expressed in some answers, ring those words on the board

How did his father or mother show Johnny that he was still loved?What did they say?

IntroductionWe will begin this session by listening to stories boys and girls have brought with them.Would everyone who has brought their copy of ‘My own story’ put up their hands? Team members will come round the tables, hear your story and discuss it with you. If you don’t have a story of your own, listen in to other stories at your table. That will help you write your own story. Everyone will write a new story in a few minutes. Each story is heard, briefly.

5

Johnny’s story was made up.What about a real story? Here is one that a seven year old boy wrote. He tells his story in three parts: First, what he did wrong and how he owned up; then what his mother said about it; finally, how they were friends at the end.Owning upMum and Dad told me not to go down a manhole. - I did!Mum saw me come out of the hole and asked me what I had done wrong.I owned up and said that I had been down the hole.

What came nextMum was very cross! She explained to me the danger of going down a manhole.

Forgiven - and friends again Then she said it was good that I had owned up and she gave me a hug and a kiss.

Talk with your parent about something that you did that was wrong, how you owned up - and what happend next.

This activity can be slow to start, particularly where the parent was not present at the Parents’ Sessionor the take-home papers from that session were not used.

Give out papers and pen/pencilsYou can draw your story or write it in words, which ever you like best.

Then plan with your father or mother how to write or draw your story in the three spaces.

I expect that the boy who wrote about his mother’s words and actions, also did his part.I’m sure he also hugged his mother and gave her a kiss. It takes both sides to make up a quarrel.

When you tell your story don’t leave out what you did to show you were sorry.

My Own Story

When you have finished, some of you might like to come out and read your story to us all.

6

If you have finished , would someone be willing to read out their story?

Give time for a few to finish, then begin the story reading. There is no need to keep everyone waiting for the last ones.They can go on quietly while some stories are being read.

Helpers go round the tables encouraging families to to begin - and then to move on through the three stages.

7

Demonstration of a Forgiveness RitualOne of the Team will do it with me first - to show what we mean. I have to tell you that I don’t always remember what I promised to do, so you won’t be surprised at what I have to say!

‘.NAME........, I’m sorry I forgot to e-mail those papers to you. I know it was a nuisance!’ NAME......... makes the sign of the cross on my forehead and says words of his/her own choice such as: ‘It’s all right’, or We’re still friends’ etc. The whole process is repeated the other way. I use the exact same words of forgiveness.

Did you notice that the words that NAME ...... used to forgive me, were the same words that I used to forgive my friend?Now it is the turn of your family.

Part Two: Reconciliation in action

We have spent some time now with stories about ‘making friends again’ that is Reconciliation. They have all been about something that we said sorry for in the past. Putting all that down on paper was quite hard to do. Wasn’t it?

What would it be like if we tried a little bit of reconciliation right now, here in this room?

This time it will not only be the boys and girls who will own up and be forgiven. To help the children feel what it is like to forgive someone else, parents and children are going to say ‘sorry’ to each other. This time we will all use the same sign to show we forgive, the Sign of the Cross.

8This activity takes very little time!Be ready to move on to the next point

Your parents are going to ask your pardon for some little thing that went wrong at home; maybe they feel they did not listen to your side of the story, or they became too angry, or something else.

You, then, make the sign of the cross on their forehead and say whatever words you like in response.

If you have two parents with you now, you’ll have two chances to forgive - and to own up!

Think what nice thing you want to say toyour Mum or Dad as you put that cross on their forehead.

When you have forgiven them, it will be your turn to say, ‘I’m sorry that I .....’

Your parent will listen and then make the sign of the cross on your forehead, forgiving you with the same words that you said to forgive them

Ready? Parents first -Begin!

Family Forgiveness

9

When we blessed each other, just now,

we used the sign of God’s forgiveness - the Sign of the Cross -

to show we forgave each other.

We have taken part in Owning up and in Forgiving. The best is still to come - a way of showing we are friends again!

Would one child from each table come out and stand here with the dish of sweets that is for your table? The dishes are given out.

Demonstration

Would you one child with dish show us how to do this? ......... Please ask your parent to join us. When they are ready It is time now to offer your parent(s) a sweet. Next, you give the dish to your parent who will offer a sweet to you.

Our Sign of ‘Togetherness’Here we have tonight’s sign of ‘togetherness’!The dishes of sweets should now be shown.

Let’s now ask God to forgive usand to bless us

as we make that Sign of the Cross on ourselves:

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

Now when all that is done, we should be feeling good!So we will end tonight’s session with a tiny ‘feel good’ celebration. A little thing to make you go home laughing together.

But, since we will finish the meeting at that point, I’d better make the announcements first!

There will be two meetings in March. They will be quite different from these two in February. Now we have been looking at how we ‘make up’ at home. Next month we will see how those ideas apply to the Sacrament of Reconciliation - which the children will be receiving soon.

The first one, on March 10th will be just for parents, grandparents and other adults involved.

Now it is everyone’s turn!Would all the children with sweets go back to their table to give and receive a sweet. - Then pass the dish on to the next child for their turn. Team members help people follow what to do.

If there are any left at the end, maybe we can have one too!

Enjoy your Caring and Sharing!

What do you think?This is Johnny and he is seven years old. One day he took his brother’s ball, when he had been told not to touch it - and he burst it!

What might he say to his mother?

How will they show they are friends again?

What might his mother say to him?

My Own Story in three parts

How I owned up

What my father or mother said to correct me then to show I was forgiven

How I felt when I was forgivenand what we did to show we were friends

1

UNIT TWO

What do we say? What do we hear? Leader’s Guide

Blankfigure for flip-chart ‘Fr Listen’ & Paper people figures Hand-out A5

Session One: Parents

2

What do we Hear?

Unit 2Parents’ Session

‘PaperPeople’workitout

What do we Say

in Confession?

3

MaterialsGospelofLuke/pageswithProdigalSonstory(The Leader tells the story. Another voice is required to read the quotations from St Luke.)

Flipchart,pensBlu Tack

PaperPeople: Large(A2?)’unidentified’figure; VarietyofA5figures;. ‘FrListen’mountedonA4‘Confessional’)

Paper&pens/pencilsforeachsmallgroup

Possible aid to preparation for the Sacrament: Copies of ‘Voices in my Life’ , oneforeachparticipant.

4

Let’sgetthisperson’shelp.Show the Paper PersonIsthisamanorawoman?Whatname?Whatage?Married?single?Inarelationship?Employed?Unemployed?Athome?

Interests?Sociallife?friends?

Tellmesomegoodthingthathe/shedoes.

Nowtellmewhatisnotsogood. Write up the suggestions, very briefly, as they are given.

YouhaveofferedmoreideasforJimmy thanwecanuse.SoitistimetobringsomemorePaper People to life!

1. What we Say in Confession

Jimmy35....busdriver

helpful....

gambles...

WorkoutastoryforyourfigureUseJimmyasaguide.Writeyourideasontheblankpaper.Showsomerealhumanproblemsinyour Paper Person!

When the characters are ready we will share them with one another.

SomeonefromyourgroupshouldbereadytocomeoutandexplainyourPaper Persontotherestofus.

Inthissessionwewillworkout,inalightheartedway,whatsomeonemightsayinConfession.

Herearepeoplewhohappentobeoutshopping. Give out figures, one to each small group. (3-5 participants) and blank paper.

5

When all the characters have been described, move on to the main point of the session.

ThesepeoplehavebeenthinkingofgoingtoConfession.MaybeitisalongtimesinceyourcharacterreceivedthatSacrament. Shouldhe/shepluckupcourageandgo?Beforewedecideaboutthat,weneedtoconsiderhowwellweknowthesepeople.

Give time for at least a few figures to be ready. Then begin the descriptions as the slower groups hurry to catch up.

Whohavewehere?Someone describes the character of the first figure.

Sotakebackyourcharacterandseeif,asagroup,youcangetintoyour Person’smindandheart.

Talkforafewmomentsaboutsomebehaviour

thatthecharacterknowsiswrongandwouldliketochange.

Go round the groups and allow them to voice their ideas.

Ifyoulookbackatwhathasbeenwrittenaboutthemyouwillseethatitisallrathersuperficial. Itiswhatthe outsidersees.

6

Whatisthis Persongoingtosaynow?Couldsomeonegiveusastart?People suggest what this Paper Person might say in Confession.

Here is a priest called Fr Listen HeisintheConfessional-orReconciliationRoom.

Choose a character with enough personality to rouse attention

and place it beside Fr Listen.

IsthereaPaper PersonwhoneedsabitofhelpfromFrListen- to put into wordswhattheyreallywanttobringtoGod?

A new figure is offered and a priest speaks for Fr Listen.

Take as many Charactersasthetimesuggests. Be aware that too many can be tedious.

Itistimeforsomeonetogoandjoinhim.Whowillbefirst?

Whenwemeetsomeoneweusuallygreetthemwithsomethinglike,Hello,or,Howareyou?

Howwillwegreetthepriest?WeneedasetofwordstogetstartedinConfession.

Whatisusualinthisparish? Participants or Team members say the usual formula.

7

ThesePaperPeoplewenttoalotoftroubletogotoConfession,didn’tthey?Whydidtheygo?Eachonemayhaveadifferentreason.

Whatreasonsdidyoufind?

YouhaveshownthatallthesePaper People hadreasonsforgoingtotheSacramentofReconciliation.

Some had really deep reasons. For them, apologising at home was not enough. They wanted God to be in touch with them through this sacrament.

My son is going to do it so I thought I should.I feel my life is a bit of a mess - and it was a chance to sort it out.I haven’t been for a long time.I thought the priest might help me.

Jesustoldastorythatshowsreconciliationfrom God’s point of view.Itisastoryyouknowwell.-TheProdigalSon.

Talkwithyourneighboursandseewhyyour Paper Person decidedtogo.Give time for discussion

Whatthesacramentgivestoeachoneofus

is a personal, loving response from God.

8

The Prodigal Son. Doyourememberthisstoryofayoungmanwholefthome,spentallhismoney

-andendedupsittinginapigsty?Let’sgetrightintothestorybyhavingalocal (Glasgow)‘ProdigalSon’

Hereisthisyoungmanwhohasbeenmakinglifeimpossibleathome.Hetakeseverythinghecangetholdofandgetsoutto‘dohisownthing.’Afterawhileitallgoeswrong.Hefindshimselfsittingonthecoldconcrete,begging-withtherainpouringdownonhim! Hebeginstoseethathemightbebetterathome.

Discusswithyourneighbourthethoughtsthatmightbegoingthroughhismindabouthissituation. Rememberhemightnotbereadyyettoseewherehehadgonewrong! Write up the phrases after some group talk

Howdoyouthinkhecouldendup?Willhesitthereuntilheisill?LookforhelpfromaCharity?TaketoDrugs?

Or try to get home?

Keepyourthoughtstoyourself,foramoment,untilwe’velookedathow Christfinishes hisstory:

St Luke’s Gospel tells us that he thought through his life up to that point. Afterallhisuselessmoaningtohimselfabouthisbadluck,hecametoadecision.Talkingtohimselfwasnotenough.Heneededto dosomethingtoshowthathewantedtobebackwithhisfather -andthatdecision,thatchangeofheart changedhis life. Whathedidwastoget up and walk home.

Ashewalkedherehearsedwhathewouldsaytohisfather.Read chapter 15 verses 17 - 20

Thencomesthesurprise!Hewastofindthat,whatever he had done, he remained a beloved son. Read first part of Verse 21

Hewasallowedtosay‘sorry’.Butnottoexpresstheideathathewouldbeunacceptableasason-andmightbetakenonasaservant.Read verses 21-24

Thesonmusthavebeenoverwhelmedbythislovingreception.Whatwashispartinbringingaboutthatresult? He had walked back - he had come home. Thatwasenoughtotriggerthefather’sresponse.Andsohewasnowreconciledtohisfather.They were at one.

Nowlookatthatwelcomefromthe father’spointofview.Whydidheimmediatelyhugtheboy,pourgiftsonhim,organiseaparty?

The only word to explain it is LOVE.The father’s love is without limit. That is the whole point of the story.

This extravagant love is the reality of God.

hungrywetshamepridefearhard done by

9

What do we Hear? WithourmindsfilledwiththatstoryoftheProdigalSon,let’stakeupourPaperPeopleagain.ThePaperPeoplehavetoldtheirstoriesofsinandrepentance.Now,forthemasfortheProdigalSon,thebestisyettocome.

Somepeopledon’trecognisethatfact.ApriesttoldmethatsomepeoplewalkoutoftheConfessionalwhentheyhavefinishedtheirtale.Tellingtheirstoryhadbeentheonlythingontheirmind.Whentheyhaddonethat,theSacramentseemedtobeover.Butthereismore-muchmore..OurFather-Almighty God-likethefatherinthestory-nowpoursoutlove&forgiveness.

The priest & Team member demonstrate the words & action

God the Father of mercies,through the death and resurrection of his Son

has reconciled the world to himselfand sent the Holy Spirit among us

for the forgiveness of sin.

Through the ministry of the church, may God give you pardon & peace

and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.

NexttimewemeetwewillbehelpingthechildrenusePaper People, astheypreparetoreceivetheSacramentofReconciliation.But tonight is for you, the adults.Perhaps,likeyourPaper Person,youfeelreadynowtoreceivethisSacrament.Fatherwilltellyou,inamoment,whatpossibilitiesthereare.Meanwhile,herearesomeideasthatmighthelpuslookatourlives.Give out copies of ‘Voices in My Life’ If possible, there should be an announcement about the availability of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

If there are priests ready to go straight to the confessionals, this is a very effective moment to offer the Sacrament.

ThewordsofAbsolutionbeginwiththisreassuringfact:

ThepriestisempoweredbythechurchtobringGod’sforgivenesstous.Throughhishumanwordsand

actionwehearandsee God’s absolution.

Priest

Priest

10

Leader:Firstofall,letuseachthinkofthepeopleinourhome.WhatdoesthatmemorymakeyouwanttosaytoGod?Pause

Voices of My Home Lord,thankyouforthehappinessinmyhome.ForgivemeforthetimesIhavenotbroughtgoodnessorhappinesstomyfamily.Helpmetoforgivethosewhohavehurtmeathome.Forgivemefornotspendingtimewithyouinprayer.PauseLeader: Lord Jesus, I am grateful for the good;Response: Lord,forgivemeandhelpmetoforgive

Voices of My Social LifeThankyouformyfriendsandthejoyIsharewiththem.ForgivemeforthetimesIhavehurtthem,gossippedaboutthemandrefusedtohelpthem.Helpmetoforgivethefriendswhohavehurtmeandletmedown.PauseLeader: Lord Jesus, I am grateful for the good;Response: Lord,forgivemeandhelpmetoforgive

Voices in My NeighbourhoodThankyouformyneighbours.Forgivemeformylackofcarewhenothersneededme.Helpmetoforgivethepeoplewhohavemademylifeharder.PauseLeader: Lord Jesus, I am grateful for the good;Response: Lord,forgivemeandhelpmetoforgive

Voices at WorkThankyouforthechancetowork.ForgivemeforthetimeswhenIhavenotbeenhonestinmyworkornotco-operatedwiththepeoplearoundme.Helpmetoforgivethosewhoaredisagreeableandmakemyworkharder.PauseLeader: Lord Jesus, I am grateful for the good;Response: Lord,forgivemeandhelpmetoforgive

Voices of the Wider WorldThankyouthatIamalivehere,inScotland,atthistime.ForgivemeforthetimesIhavenothelpedtokeepthecityandtheenvironmentattheirbest.Helpmetoforgivethosewhospoilthiscountry.Forgivemefornotgivingenoughhelptothosewhosufferinpoorercountriesthoughouttheworld.PauseLeader: Lord Jesus, I am grateful for the good;Response:Lord,forgivemeandhelpmetoforgive

WeendnowbysayingtogethertheActofContritionthatmostpeopleknow.

(1st Reader)

(2nd Reader)

(3rd Reader)

(4th Reader)

(5th Reader)

Voices in My Life

waiting in church

1

UNIT TWO

Session Two: Family

Rehearsing Confession with Paper Children Leader’s Guide

‘Paulo Freire and informal education’ Hand-out for leaders

2

Rehearsing Confession

with Paper Children

Preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation: Family Session

Family Workshop

Team Guide

Unit2

3

MaterialsBoard & pensLarge figurePaper People/ Fr Listen etc as for Parents’ Sessionpaper & pen/pencil for each child/family

4

Now “Johnny” is going to ask God to forgive him for things he has done wrong. So he is sitting quietly, by himself, trying to think what he should say to God.Place demonstration figure a little apart - but in prominent place

Rehearsing Confession with‘Paper Children’Unit 2 Preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation: Family Session

Here is a seven year old Paper Boy.First, we are going to decide who he is. What shall we call him? Who is in his family?What does he enjoy doing? What does he not like doing?

How does he show he is a kind person?

What does he do that is not so nice?

1. Creating the character

2. “Johnny” goes to

Confession

Introduction Tonight you are going to learn a little more about the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Your parish priest has brought some of his friends to help us. (The local priest introduces the visiting priests.)Some Paper People have also joined us tonight and they are going to Confession.Show Demonstration figure.

Came home lateAte his sister’s sweets

Picked a fight in the playground

We are going to help him by making a list of the things he has done that were wrong. What could he have done?

Do not write up these first suggestionsAll those things would make a long list!

Maybe he would not remember it all.Let’s write out the ones he really needs to say.

Write up suggestionsWhy did you think he needed to tell these faults? Give time for children to explain their choices.

Comment, where this is useful.

Johnny3 brothers, 1 sister

football

washing dishes

Lets .......play with his ball.

Fights

Write up chart

5

Rehearsing Confession with‘Paper Children’Introductory

Formula

Johnny tells his sins

Here is Fr. Listen.“Johnny” is going to come beside Fr. Listen and tell him what he did wrong.

First, I am going to introduce him.‘Good evening Father. This is “Johnny”. He has come to make his First Confession.

How will “Johnny” begin? It is easier to start if we have words that we know by heart. Children say the formula they have been taught.

What will Fr. Listen reply to the greeting?One of the priests gives a response

How will “Johnny” own up to what he has done wrong?Let’s look at that list we made and take the first point.

‘I came home late’ What is the story behind that?Take some replies.It could be quite a long story.Maybe there were other people with him. But this is not the time to discuss them. He needs to tell Father what he did that was wrong.

He might say something like this. ‘I was told to come straight home. But I went round the shops with my friends. I knew I shouldn’t.

We’ll stop there and find out what might Fr. Listen say to that.Again, one of the priests interprets Fr Listen’s response.This includes an appropriate penance.

Who would like to say how Johnny should confess the next one on the list:Ate his sister’s sweets?Take one or more suggestions

6

Each family is given a pen/pencil and a Paper Child mounted on a sheet of paper.

Look at the chart to remind you what we did with this first figure. Decide if your Paper Child is a boy or a girl, then choose a name.Tell your Mum or Dad what your Paper Child is like. They will help you write it down.

Team members help parents/children create a character quickly, using the demonstration chart as guide.

When a number of families have finished their Paper Children stop the table activity and ask everyone to face the front for a few moments to hear what they have to do next.

Now the Paper Children are going to ‘Confession’.Before Fr Listen comes to your table, take a few minutes to prepare your Paper Child. Remember to tell the story of what he or she did wrong. Make it something real. Don’t let any Paper Children just say: I told a lie.’ They should say what happened. For example:‘I told my mother I was in my friend’s house, when I was really going round the shops.’

Children plan their Paper Child’s story within their family group. Team members give support.

A Paper Person for each Family

1.Creating the Character

2. Preparing the Paper Child

for Confession

7

When Fr Listen comes to your table, introduce your Paper Child to him. Speak for your Paper Child. Begin with the ‘starting’ words you have been taught to say.Then tell what he or she has done wrong.

The priest will tell you what Fr Listen might say to your Paper Child.

Now lay your Paper Children down on the table and give them a rest. Let’s think about what they have done, so far:1. They have met Fr Listen2. They have told their sins.3. They have listened to the Penance that Fr.Listen has given them.

Saying ‘sorry’ comes next.When we own up to something wrong, we say that we are sorry. Your Paper Children have owned up to God, so now they say the Sorry Prayer. We will say it for them:

An Act of SorrowThe local version is used

The priests move immediately to the first tables, talking and listening to the children.

Team members work with the others, listening to the stories they have prepared.

8

Absolution and ReconciliationAfter all that, we come to the most important part of the Sacrament: Forgiveness. God forgives us through the words and actions of the priest.

This is a very special and wonderful moment. Bring your Paper Children out here. Stand before Fr Listen, holding up your Paper Child. Stand quite separately, to give you the feeling that this is specially for your Paper Child.

Now watch Father’s hand as he raises it to call down the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Forgiveness. Listen to the special words he says with this action. They are called: The Words of Absolution.

Absolution is the Climax of the Sacrament and should be presented as a solemn drama. The priest stands with arm outstreched over the children and says the words so that the parents,too, can hear them clearly.

Forgiveness

Action

The Absolution

God, the Father of mercy, through the death and resurrection of his Son,has reconciled the world to himselfand sent the Holy Spirit among usfor the forgiveness of sins;through the ministry of the Churchmay God give you pardon and peaceand I absolve you from your sinsin the name of the Fatherand of the Sonand of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Help your Paper Children to say together, ‘Thank you, Father!’

9

Let’s think how your Paper Children feel now.

When you have fallen out with your friends - and then you make up the quarrel - how do you feel? (Take some replies) So you are ready to spend time with them again?

Your Paper Children have been forgiven by God. So they will want to spend some time with God. The first thing they are going to do is say the prayer they were given as a Penance.Let’s say it together......

Now, if they are really happy that God counts them as his friends, they will want to say something in their own words.

A moment of quiet

To represent going into a bench to say their Penance, the children separate slightly from the priest

Your paper person is not going to say anything aloud. This is just in your own heart, only for God to hear. Inside your head, say something to God for your Paper Child.

Let it be something loving and friendly. You might just say, ‘I love you, Jesus!’ or ‘I’m glad you love me!’ Or maybe, ‘I like being friends swith you!’ It can be anything you want to say.Pause for a moment

As a final ‘Thank You’ to God for showing us his love in this Sacrament of Reconciliation, we will end by saying the Glory Be to the Father all together.

Turn your Paper Child round to yourself

and keep your eyes on it.Stay very still.

waiting in church

Family FaithReconciliation programme

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is an experience of the wonderful forgiveness of God.

To appreciate this, children need

a heightened consciousness of everyday, family forgiveness.

This programme includes:Full material for each sessionLeaflets for participants

Unit One:

Parents: What is Reconciliation about? The opening session is about ‘reconciliation’ in everyday life. A child will only make sense of the Sacrament of Reconciliation if he/she already knows how to ‘make-up’ at home.A magazine ‘Yours Truly’ supports the discussion.

Family: ‘My Story’, reconciliation at home Time is spent exploring the sequence of : owning up; being forgiven; enjoying ‘togetherness’.Children write and share their own stories.

Unit Two:

Parents: What do we say in Confession? What do we hear? In this session we use ‘Paper People’ to work out, in a light hearted way, what someone might say in Confession. A priest takes the part of ‘Fr Listen’ to give an immediate response. Then the parable of the Prodigal Son is told.

Family: Rehearsing Confession with ‘Paper Children’Working first as a whole group, the childen create a character and suggest what might be said in Confession. The exercise is then repeated in families.The session ends with an emphasis on absolution.