“CHICAGO IS PRETENTIOUS”

No, we’re crazy

The attitude of Chicagoans is the ketchup on the plate

SOME RURAL AMERICANS ARE LOOKING AT ME CRAZIER THAN MY DISTANT POLISH RELATIVES DO

A few of my relatives were curious why I don’t want to go HERE all the time

Some of my former coworkers couldn’t believe

I had never eaten HEREIn actuality I prefer to go HERE some of the time

THE “COOL KIDS” FROM OUT OF TOWN THINK WE’RE ALL ASSHOLES, BUT THEY’RE STREAMING JEREMIH

LIKE A MOFO

MY BALL PLAYER BUDDY TOLD ME TO FIND A NICE SUBURBAN GIRL, DON’T MESS WITH NO CITY WIFE