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64 | NewScientist | 12 October 2013 FEEDBACK HERE is our pull-the-other-one quote of the week: “At the core of the Power Optimizer energy saving device is our patented semiconductor chip. This chip utilizes specific wavelengths of infrared light to stabilize the vibration state of ‘spinning’ electrons.” This quote can be found, Colin Stone informs us, at poweroptimizer.com, which goes on to claim that the device works by “training the electrons to flow more efficiently”. This, we are told, will reduce your energy consumption and hence your bills, and at the same time will “optimize the operating efficiency of your electrical systems and equipment”. Feedback is impressed. It’s about time someone got round to training those unruly electrons. DO THE writers of adverts never take a step back to consider how people – who may include Feedback readers – might parse their prose? Stephen Stent sends us a photo of a sign by the road in Whangarei, New Zealand, offering “DRY T-TREE FIREWOOD $100 CM 2 ”. What can that possibly mean? In our latest example, Andy Johnson-Laird is deeply confused by an email from IDM Computer Solutions proudly “Pre-Announcing UltraEdit v19.20”. “That’s it!” he concludes: “It’s a quantum superposition of the announcement and the wave function that precedes it.” He went so far as to look up the WikiFacts about pre-announcements. There we find that they are an increasingly common workaround for the strictures of US financial regulation. A firm that sits on news which could depress its results may be at risk of being sued by those who bought its stock while the company was saying nothing. So firms pre-announce bad news to the world before they Announce it (with a capital “A”) to the Securities and Exchange Commission. So, remember, advertisers: pre-announcements are therefore by definition bad news. Take care. THE Northern Ireland electoral canvas form – used to compile the electoral register – appears to embody an official requirement to lie, observes reader Edward Blackbourne. “In order to be included on the electoral register,” the form he received in September told him, “you must have lived in Northern Ireland for the three months before 15 October 2013 and indicate this by ticking the relevant box in the residence section of the form.” The form went on to warn that it “should be returned as soon as possible and no later than Registration Day – 27 September 2013”. But on 27 September 2013, no one could possibly have known if they had lived in Northern Ireland for the three months before 15 October 2013. To have declared so would amount to providing false information – and this, the form warned, “is a criminal offence for which you could be sent to prison for up to six months or fined £5000 or both”. Even so, we suspect that everyone who fills in this form cheerfully ticks the relevant box – although Edward wisely does not tell us what he did. THE exhibition at the Science Museum in London to mark the centenary of Alan Turing’s birth is in its last weeks. Turing devised the computers used at Bletchley Park, UK, to crack the German Enigma code in the 1940s. The exhibition reminded a colleague of his time training to repair military electronics while he was a conscript in the Royal Air Force. The RAF course lasted nearly a year and covered mostly radio equipment. But every week there was a session in a windowless hut protected by armed guards. Inside, after everyone had signed the Official Secrets Act, an instructor taught the students how to use a Type X encryption machine – which our colleague later discovered was closely based on Enigma. The instructor showed them how to take Type X apart, clean the contact wheels and put it back together. This was very tricky, so everyone made careful notes, but at the end of each session the guards collected all the notebooks and stored them until the following week. This made revision for the test at the end of the course impossible. But, not to worry, assured the guards – and with good reason. The questions on Type X in the final test were multiple-choice ones, along the lines of: “What powers Type X – gas, clockwork, pedal power or electricity?” So everyone passed with flying colours. Fortunately, our colleague was never posted to a war zone, and never had to repair a broken Type X machine on which everyone’s lives depended. FINALLY, the membership renewal form for Steve Tunnicliff’s local family history society bears an invitation to sign a statement under the heading: “Have you signed the Data Protection Act?” The statement says: “I agree that my name and address may be supplied to any person requesting it, either within or outside of the European Economic Area.” Steve comments: “That will be, like, anyone, then.” You can send stories to Feedback by email at [email protected]. Please include your home address. This week’s and past Feedbacks can be seen on our website. For more feedback, visit newscientist.com/feedback PAUL MCDEVITT
