The Chosen

Where do we go from here?

In the living memory of my Beloved Father, Aunt, and Sister who’s departure has inspired me to write this story

Life and death are closely connected to each other. Everything we do as far as good and evil is concerned, is transferred to energy. This energy is either pleasant or repulsive. According to the type of energy field we’ve created around us, we attract both good things and people into our life or misfortune and unkind people. Since the circle is enclosed with no exit doors, there is no escape from this field of energy unless we change who we are from the inside out, and elevate ourselves by not obeying Id to obeying Superego. When we die, we take all the things we did in this life with us to the afterlife, and based on it we either live in an eternal bliss or eternal damnation.

In this journey called life, we are constantly driven into different roads that are determined by our paths. Our predetermined paths are similar to a brief trial period where we are given a test and the score will determine which road is suitable for us. Even if we don’t score well on our paths, we are given the opportunity to correct our low scores by making good decisions on the road we are led to next. We continue our voyage by passing through different paths that leads to subsequent roads, this cycle shall remain in constant repetition till all of our vacation days has been fully depleted.

Although our paths are predetermined, the decisions we make on our roads are entirely ours and so we are the sole creators of our roads. We can either chose to build skyscrapers and plant trees or we can turn this road to an empty and polluted dumpster nothing but an abashed sketch left behind on our deserted past road. The cumulative results of our decisions become the tools we use for the construction or destruction of those roads of ours.

In addition, with every single action we make on our roads, we are either elevated higher into the spiritual world till we become legends and leaders of our roads or we’re descended lower into the material world where we eventually become insignificant

followers that are mainly driven by our animal instincts till we become the lowest of God’s creations by choice.

Often times we encounter obstacles that take us on a bumpy ride, like a roller-coaster sometimes we find ourselves uphill and other times we are downhill, but the decisions we make can turn what is bumpy to even, steady and comfortable road that will serve us and others that pass by them.

We are the creators of the interior designs of our roads. In some cases our interior designs are so beautiful that it impresses the Supreme Creator. In such cases rules changes, bends, and miracles are witnessed. Those privileged designers, might be fortunate enough to where they skip the paths and with their own hands pave the way to the roads. Those few chosen ones find their designs written on the pages of history for all generations to follow. So where do we go from here? Let our decisions pave the way.

This is a story of a young lady named Sarah. The Sarah that’s in every one of us that presents our inner struggles between the good and the bad, the brave and the weak, the righteous and the sinner, the assertive and the timid. The question here is which one of those instincts will take over and conquer all else and how can one find their answers to become the next chosen one.

Din-din, “Someone is at the door, get it please, “says the mother.

“Hi Lisa, ohhh big hug, we missed you a lot, “Says Elizabeth the wife of their brother Jose.

“Is that why you call and come to visit so often?” replies Lisa sarcastically. “I am just kidding you know we love you and miss you too.”

Lisa is the eldest of the siblings. Lisa is a highly educated, strong-willed, and persistent but she allowed jealously into her heart which turned her good qualities to ashes just like fire that destroys every valuable asset in its way.

“Oh God there comes sarcasm and negativity, I better pretend to be sleeping to avoid her two cents,” says Sarah to herself and she lays down on the couch.

Sarah the youngest of the three siblings, she has many good qualities and a very kind heart but doesn’t believe in herself. She allowed other people’s judgments to stop her from being her best. She dwells a lot in the past, and blames others for her failures.

“Hello Mother is Sarah sleeping again on the couch?” asks Lisa.

“Sure looks like it. I hope she remembered to take her medication, sometimes I feel as if I need to remind her to brush her teeth”, says the mother with a heavy Latino accent. Yolanda the mother is a strong, intelligent, and brave woman yet she is blinded from seeing herself in that way through her wrong judgment of herself and the world and by her negativity that often

blurs her vision.

Lisa walks over to the television to lower it while scoffs at her sister Sarah, (in a low voice), “What a loser, no college degree, career, man, or even decent friends, she needs to stop eating and doing something with her life, ha.”

“No Lisa, my favorite soap opera is coming on in few minutes”, says the mother.

“Oh no, there is no way I will watch this nonsense. I am going to work out and will be back in a few. Baby, take care of the kids put them in the room with Lisa’s kids to play video games, I won’t be long”, says Jose the brother of Lisa and Sarah.

“Don’t go please Jose, I miss you. I haven’t seen you in a while, why are you leaving stay with us, “says the mother.

“You’re not sitting with us Ma. You’ve been in the kitchen with Lisa the whole time. The only one who is in the living room with us is Sarah, and as usual sleeping. You really spoiled her Mama; look at her she is doing nothing with her life. She really needs to get it together and you need to stop spoiling her if you want her to be someone in life,” says Jose as he walks out and slams the door.

Jose is known to be self-centered, and doesn’t work hard to solve any problems he often escapes them by running away. He comes and goes whenever he pleases. He often chooses to be alone with his wife and kids and comes every so often to visit the family. He is consumed with his own life and doesn’t care much about anyone else’s.

“Don’t worry about him Mama; you’ve done all that you can. He keeps telling us how to live our life every time he comes over which is not often so just ignore. He went and married an American without your consent. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Besides what are you supposed to do more than what you’ve already done for all of us. You can’t drag her to

college and study for her like you use to do when she was in elementary school,” says Lisa.

You’re right Lisa, I will just ignore. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and if he is so upset about his sister’s situation, why doesn’t he help out? She will have to get her act together on her own, I am tired of babysitting her,” says the mother.

“I guess I have no one to speak to and will care to listen but myself. Yeah big brother, yeah just run, do what you do best; run away from the problem and run away from your role as a brother. He disappears from our life, doesn’t even bother to call and check on me not once, yet when he shows up every so often, and just bosses everyone around. He wants everything and everyone to behave and do as he says, how he can even think that can be possible. Perhaps this is his way of quieting his conscience by thinking that everyone in this family is a complete mess and that he tries to guide them and give a helping hand, but it just doesn’t work. You see brother; you can’t disappear 90% of the time from my life when I need you the most then come and in that 10% and do nothing but criticize and judge, that’s not helping and that’s not guidance. Ahhhhhhh, why even bother?” says Sarah to herself.

“Where is Rivero? I forgot to ask,” says the mother.

“He is studying hard; he wants to finish Law school like your favorite daughter.”

“You make your mother so proud, if your father was here today, he would’ve been proud of you or maybe not, I don’t know, he was very anger with everything even with himself. Oh, how I just wish that Sarah would get it together like you instead of the nonsense she gets herself into. Anyway, did you hear about what happened to your cousin and his wife?” asks the mother.

“No, tell me tell me?” says Lisa so eagerly.

“He wants to divorce his wife, and she is so good. I mean yeah,

she has her issues as we know, we talked about that so many times in the past, but still he shouldn’t divorce her. I been on the phone with them both everyday now for a week. I am so exhausted trying to solve the world’s problems,” says the mother.

“What are you making for us today Mama?” says Elizabeth the wife of Jose.

“Oh he just had to marry an American. Now she will keep asking us to translate every word that’s being said”, says Lisa in Spanish.

“I wish that was it, she will ask me for all the ingredients in the food and how I cooked it.”

“Oh my dear sister, give your soul a rest from all the hatred and jealousy in your heart. Spare Mom with all the negativity you fill her up with. Why can’t they pay attention to me? Am I this helpless and worthless to them? I need their embrace, patience, love, and guidance. Every time I make a mistake I just hear how dumb and worthless I am, but perhaps if I would have had some guidance, I would have been successful, I know I have the potential. Then again no enough I have to stop thinking this over and over and over again. I need to stop trying to get approval from others, I am old enough now, and I need to move on with my life. I am not a baby anymore, I need to stop trying to find love outside I won’t get it, all I will get is more pain, disappointment, and more disapproval.

I need to lose weight, I am tired of taking all these medications for my cholesterol and blood pressure; I am really young to be taking all these meds. If I can just have the will to workout, all my medical problems will disappear. I also need to focus on making it through college. I already got several warnings; on the next one I will get expelled. I have too many things that I have to solve and work on in my life I don’t know how to go about doing all this on my own.

Why is everything so complicated, what am I doing here? My life is so worthless. I wish someone can answer my questions,

sometimes I just wish I can be dead; here I am again giving up on my life and myself. I can’t even consider suicide, like I’ve done in the past. I want to be with my loved ones that I long to for, I want to see the light of heaven, and somehow make my Lord proud. I want to be with the person that raised me till their time on earth was up. The person that knew me more than anyone else, that cared for me, that always embraced me, and gave me more love and attention than I could ever ask for. I must turn to God; I hope He can help me. Lord, I know I haven’t prayed to you in a long time. I am really embarrassed to ask you for anything. I am not doing well in my life but I truly believe that I am a good person. My lord, I love you please guide me and allow me to be the best that I can be.” Just as Sarah was praying she saw the unthinkable.

“What’s this bright light coming from? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So much energy has entered her body, light in coming out from every part of her. It felt as if another soul has entered her body and now is pulling her soul out of her. What is pulling me apart? Why am I seeing all of my life events passing before my eyes? “Sarah wonders to herself in distress.

Suddenly, the balcony door opens so widely as if a giant is trying to come in, a sudden storm began to form bringing in winds in the house from all angles.

“Oh what’s happening is this a hurricane?” asks Elizabeth.

Suddenly the weather began to take a different turn, just like Sarah’s life does. Strong lightning strikes the cloudy skies, the sky will never look exactly the same again.

“Oh my we have to close the door, Lisa I need your help,” says Elizabeth.

“Leave the door open, it’s okay we are in Miami, not Arizona honey,” Lisa says to Elizabeth sarcastically.

The Furniture started to move in the house, the electricity went off for few minutes then came back on, rain and wind creped its

way in the house from every angle.

Lisa felt frightened; she’s never seen the weather change as drastically and quickly as she did now. “Okay I will help you don’t panic; I can’t believe this loser is still sleeping,” says Lisa.

As it turns out Sarah was not sleeping on the coach as everyone has thought. Each one of them was in their own world and she was in hers as it always has been. They were physically present in the same house, but mentally and emotionally distant. No one wanted to see what the other one was truly feeling or try to even understand one another. Sarcasm and blame became the normal. No one wanted to take responsibility of their mistakes; no one wanted to take a closer look of themselves in their mirror.

“Ohhh, who are you?” says Sarah with so much fright.

A big tall figure stood right in front of her. Sarah’s mind couldn’t comprehend what was happening. He extended his hands out in both directions; they reached so far out as they penetrated through the walls, as he stood so tall to a point where Sarah’s eyes couldn’t see him anymore.

“Greetings to you Sarah, daughter of Yolanda and Fernandez; Oh blissful soul leave this perishable body in peace to meet the Lord of the worlds,” says the angel as he stood tall and strong.

On the other side there was Lisa in her own world still trying to close the balcony door with Elizabeth.

“To strong we can‘t do it, we need someone that can help us,” says Elizabeth.

Then suddenly it all stopped. There was no more lighting, rain, or struggle; the sky looked more beautiful than it did before the storm began; only this time it will be appreciated more.

Sarah wondered if she was awake or sleeping, dead or alive, and as she realized that she was no longer part of this life, she wished

she had done somethings differently.

“Am I dead? How can this be? I was just there, you know just there, on that coach thinking all kinds of different things to myself. I was rearranging my priorities; I was planning my whole life. I was going to be a better person, yes I was I know it. So what now, I can’t do any of that? I didn’t get a chance to do all the things that I wanted to do. I wanted to make my Mother proud and I wanted to do more for humanity. Please give me another chance please.”

I hear this a lot Sarah and I don’t know what to say to it. You see I come to some people and they just seem to be ready with a smile, they’ve done everything they wanted. These are the people that knew life was not going to go on forever and wait for them to get better. They didn’t get caught up in the past and didn’t waste time on pity little things. They didn’t blame circumstances or others for their failures. They had a positive outlook on life; they forgave people for their shortcomings, and did their very best. You had all your life to do whatever you wanted to do. The Lord would have given you more time if He knew that you would have lived it differently. You should’ve known that this day will come and prepared for it wisely. You seemed to have a good grip on life through your poetry but somehow you’ve never put the words to action. Remember the poem you wrote titled, “Night of the living dead”, I thought it was absolutely brilliant. How a person lives his life in the dark without the light of God, and that possession are mere illusions. The angel began to read Sarah’s poem to her.

‘Night of the Living Dead’

In the midst of emptiness,

Void is our friend,

In the midst of fire,

Ashes are our only possession,

In the midst of hunger,

Famine is our only nourishment,

How can we live with bones without flesh?

Can we wear nudity for a dress?

Can life emanate from emptiness?

Perhaps life is embedded deep within one’s beauty,

On the road of illusion,

I drowned in the pool of imperfection,

Why perfect the frame and neglect the image itself?

Perhaps life is hidden in the beloved’s heart,

But where is the door that leads to the beloved’s heart?

Perhaps life is in the eyes of the innocence,

But the innocence shall be chased away once pollution heads our way,

Nay, life must emanate from the Creator of life,

Where perfection is found in the imperfection,

Beauty is the contentment in His embrace,

Love enters the hearts without a door to put up a fight,

Even Innocence grows wings with might,

And so life is blind without sight in the absence of His light…

“Are these your words Sarah?” asks the angel.

Sarah didn’t pay attention to what he was telling her and continued being disappointed; she was anger at him as she had hoped he’d give her another chance even if it was for few seconds to go back and kiss her mother and tell her how much she appreciates her and always wanted to make her proud. At that moment Sarah realized how precious life was. Sarah didn’t want to go. She felt as if part of her was still alive. She wondered how she wasted so much time on piety things.

“Oh dear God, sighing so hard. I see my body. Can I touch it? I see my Mother, Lisa, and Elizabeth watching soap opera while eating my favorite dish. I wish I can go back and be with them now.”

“Then why did you pretend to be sleeping, when you could have easily chosen to be part of this gathering?” asks the angel.

Sarah thought to herself for few minutes about what the angel just said to her. She couldn’t grasp the idea that she is unable to go back. After all she was just there. It seemed like life will go on forever, and that she had control over everything. She realized it was an illusion, her life was timed and every choice she’s made will be accounted for, but she still had lots of pride and was thinking of an answer to give to the angel.

“I was avoiding Lisa’s comments that put me down and makes my Mother upset with me. Every time she comes over, I go to sleep,” says Sarah.

“Do you realize that just as they were hard on you and judged you, you judged them and were just as cold and hard on them?”

“You’re just an angel. Have you experienced in your perfect life in heaven the feeling of pain, guilt, shame, sorrow, hunger, deprivation? Oh my good friend angel, allow me to answer this time, let’s see now the answer has to be “NO”, says Sarah with so much anger. Why aren’t you answering me, too busy judging me I guess and telling me what I’ve done wrong and how I should have done it right?” says Sarah.

“No my friend, I want to listen to what you have to say.”

“Well angel, this will be your first class, it’s called pain 101. But this is not a class is this life real life. Pain is when you lose the dearest person to your heart at age 10. You feel your heart breaking; you see your tears turn to pure blood, as all your innocent little world and dreams come crashing into real world and they have no choice but to break into little tiny microscopic pieces.

My father angel, did nothing wrong in his life. I don’t recall this man yelling ever at anything or anyone. He came to American and brought us all here with him. He worked and worked and worked. He got us a beautiful house that was built from his sweat. He loved me like no one can ever love a child. He was my mother and father, he was my friend, my mentor, and he was my all. He used to wake me up in the morning and get me ready for school. Oh (laughingly) I used to give him so much trouble over breakfast, I was once really picky about what I ate. He’d walk me to school, put me to bed, bath me, even do my homework, and tuck me in at night.

How can someone be given so much love and attention at a very young age and then suddenly wake up one day to find it all gone? How can this one survive, carry on, and lead a normal life again? I remember that morning very well. Sarah began to tell the story in the past as she relives it, her tone changes and she sounds like herself when she was a young girl.

The phone rings, “Oh its Baba,” says Sarah as she runs to the phone where it’s located in the present time. “I knew it must be him calling to check on me, he always does that when he was not there to prepare me for school.

“Hello, Daddy,” says Sarah in a little girl’s voice as tears come running from her eyes.

“Hello my darling, do you know who this is? This is prince

charming as they say in your favorite cartoon,” says Sarah as she imitates her father’s voice.

“No you’re Daddy, even better than prince charming,” says Sarah laughingly as her tears continue to river down to the floor.

“I am calling to say sorry for being a little stressed lately because of the additional work I added to my schedule recently and for not being there to prepare you for school and taking you there myself as always, but I have good news for you.”

“What tell me, tell me,” says Sarah as she jumps up and down like a little girl.“I didn’t sleep all night last night, I kept driving so I can make it on time to pick you up from school, so what do you think of that?”

“Oh Daddy I love you so much. Can you take me to the mall to get me that doll you’ve been promising me of? You have been forgetting your promises lately. In the past whenever you used to promise me of something, you used to do it right away. Daddy are you still there, hello Daddy, I can’t hear you. Daddy nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” says Sarah as she fell down to her knees sobbing loudly, then slowly wipes her tears and walks up slowing and walks over to the angel. “Daddy was not there anymore angel, do you know why he slept over the wheel and the truck fell to the side of the road and flipped while I was on the phone with him. Can you tell me why that had to happen to him and I had to be there to witness it? Why I had to see my father’s dead body and stand there in his burial? My mind couldn’t comprehend what was happening and what death meant. He was just there alive talking to me on the phone, how quickly everything happened and just as fast my life changed forever. I went behind the tree and stayed there till I made sure everyone left. I slept next to his grave for three days thinking he’ll come back. Maybe he is not what they are saying he is. I was so scared I couldn’t sleep. It was the first time I write a poem without using pen or paper,” Says Sarah as she looks at angel with

astonishment as he reiterates her poem.

‘Rain of tears’

The skies were bright and full of light,But then a sudden storm formed,Steals the light from the sunny skies,Colors it with dark gloomy paint,How can the skies live without the sun again?The stormed scared the feathery birds away,Anyone that remained was stabbed with the knife of grief and pain,The skies were shattered and rained little innocent droplets of tears filled with pain…”

“How you knew this poem, I never wrote it down?” asks Sarah.

“Sarah you assumed a lot about me. I am not here to judge you, whenever you prayed to God you made the same wishes and God made them come true. You asked to die and for guidance and help and God sent me to you to assist you. You’re saying I am just angel, and my life is easy, and I live in heaven. Did you ask what type of an angel am I?

Allow me to answer this one my friend, ‘No’. I am the death angel, my job is the hardest job on earth. I was created to take other people’s lives. Before I take their life I first must bond with their soul to get to know them and those who have been good to be merciful on them. I bond with the souls many of them I fall in love with and admire how they chose to live their life. I often wonder if I was created a human would I have been able to be good. Perhaps that is why I am what I am.

Pulling the life out of the body is very painful thing to do. If that soul is filthy and full of sins, I feel their halo, I smell the bad odor of their deeds, and I witness the most horrific acts they’ve done. It’s even harder pulling a good soul out of the body, seeing what a wonder person they are and the great things they’ve done makes me want to continue being part of them, especially when our

energies bond well, and finally there are the few that are like you I am sent to pull your soul, bond with it, and guide it. I get attached so much and yet I most find a way to move on and do my job as I should.

You assumed I live in heave but I don’t, I am a servant in heaven created to serve God and do as I am told. My life has never been my own, I don’t have a free will like you, and I will never be served by others. Yet not once have I ever been rebellious, or woke up one morning to say I don’t feel like doing what I am supposed to do today. Somehow I learned to accept my fate and love what I do regardless to how joyful or painful it is. I look at the bright side of things I get to meet heroic people all the time, take the life of someone who is evil so the world has less of them, and guide many.

Oh Sarah this is no easy thing. I feel your pain, I relived with you your past, I heard your struggles and felt your tears, how else can I help you if I don’t become part of you.

“I am so sorry angel, it’s just what you were saying is not true. I am kind and a good person. What you’re saying does not apply to me.”

The angel turned his back and started to walk away.

“No wait, please wait I didn’t mean to be rude or offend you, please forgive me.”

“I am not offended Sarah, I don’t have ego. I didn’t want to cross my line with you as far as your personal past life is concerned, but my job is to teach you and shed some light on you, but if you don’t want me to, then I won’t.”

“I need to learn angel, please help me. But what good is it to learn now, I just can’t face the past since I can’t change it, it’s too late”

“It’s never too late for anything Sarah; Death is only the

beginning perhaps for some people. Please Sarah if you want to be a new person and truly learn, your first lesson will be changing the way you think. You have to accept that you make mistakes, face them, and correct them. Hiding one’s flaws is a weakness, lack of confidence, and weakening energy. Its ego driven and it will stand in your way from growing in mind and spirit. Let go of your old way of thinking and the ifs and the could and could nots.”

“Okay I promise you to try not to think that way.”

“As I was telling you earlier Sarah, your siblings are judging you and that was there biggest mistake. They should have accepted you the way you are, been more patient, and had better means of communication, but you see they lacked those things in their own life, so they couldn’t give you something that they themselves never had.

When your father past way, life became hard on them. They’ve put their feelings aside, and went into survivability mode. They worked so hard to help your mother out at a very young age, and to help themselves make it through life. They expected the same out of you and when you turned out different they judged you and in turn you judged them right back. You see judgment is the root to all evil; it leads to wars, hatred, and cruelness. Unless someone takes the first step to stop the cycle of judgment and negative feelings, it will just continue till you completely separate yourselves from each other’s. Perhaps communicating your feelings to them, could have helped them to better understand you. You turned your disappointment into bad decisions trying to punish them for not giving you the attention and guidance that you yearned for, so you attempted to draw their attention to you by disappointing them, do you think that was right?”

“No angel, I didn’t think of it in that way. I had no one to teach me like you.”

“You didn’t need anyone to teach you Sarah, you were old enough to teach yourself. All that I am telling you are in the scriptures,

and the Lord created you with innate nature that is good and pure and designed to reject anything that is wrong. This innate nature is strengthened through prayer and acts of worship, and you chose not to get close. No one can force you to invite God’s love into your life, after all it’s free will Sarah. Yet having said all that, God is a merciful God. He gives people chances to become better, tries to call them to the right path, and doesn’t allow people to go astray unless they defiantly persist to go the other way.”

“You know angel, I never found true peace inside of me till now.”

“Yes Sarah, because now you’re in His presence. You could have experienced the same level of tranquility if you would have turned to Him through a sincere and a humble supplication. This is the way to invite God’s love into one’s life and this is the best way of communicating with Him. But it had to be sincere with no other intention but to get close to Him and sense His love and presence into your life. Some people only pray and try to be good when they are in trouble or when they want something, and others pray just to show others that they are good, those people never truly experience God’s love nor experience true tranquility. When you see them God’s love and tranquility is nowhere to be found.”

“God’s presence! Let me take you around to show you my nieces and nephews.”

The angel looked at her and said, “If you’re trying to delay your meeting with the Lord that won’t work Sarah. You can’t escape God, either in the first life nor in this life. He is all encompassing. If you are trying to kill time, that won’t work either.”

“You’re right angel. It’s just I keep thinking that I had a good heart and pure intentions, but just didn’t put it to work. I don’t know how to face Him, what excuse can I possibly give Him. Why didn’t I pray, why I didn’t try harder, why didn’t I turn to Him. Angel does this mean I going to hell?” says Sarah with so much fear in her eyes. “You will shortly find out. I want to tell you without God’s love in

one’s life, life is not worth living because it becomes unbearable. God’s love works like a filter, that blocks negativity, hatred, blame, jealousy, guilt, and worry from going into one’s soul and heart. Most of the bad things that happen to people are because of their wrong thinking and bad decisions. They try to blame every little problem that heads their way on destiny and God, when it was really from their actions.

Although you didn’t invite God’s love that was always there for you to tap into, God is still merciful. He judges people on many different things, and sometimes a person does one good deed with pure intentions and that one good thing will be their key to the doors of paradise.”

“Sarah found herself going back in time to relive a scene in the past from one of her life that now seems to be a movie recorded on tape. As she stood there she saw Angelina, a young girl that she helped in the past. Angelina was running as Sarah was running after her, she was laughing and seemed so happy.”

Angels showed it to her to comfort her and reminds her that not everything she did was bad and wrong, never look at the glass half full and Sarah often seen it in her living years.

“Oh there I am with Angelina, look angel she really loved me.”

“Yes Sarah, she really loved you. You’re actually the only one she really loved. She had those tantrums because she couldn’t express her pain in words. Everyone judged her even her parents; their solution was just to get rid of her by putting her in an expense hospital that will take care of her. But you came along and changed her life. You volunteered a lot in different hospitals, and you did it with love and good intentions. The Lord was happy with you.”

“How do you know He was?”

“Well He sent me to you to teach you, and whenever you or anyone else did a really good deed especially for others, He’d call

on all the angels and show them what that person did. He’d express His love for that person, which made all of us love that person and try our best to protect them and guide them.”

“Oh thank you Angel for saying that to me. God only knows how much I love Him and wanted to do more.”

“Angelina although couldn’t express her feelings and has many mental challenges, she felt your love for her and that alone helped her with her aggression and helped her get out of the hospital.

I related to Angelina because my nephew suffers from many different challenges and I wish there can be a way for me to help him, do you think I can?”

“You certainly can Sarah, let’s go and see Jack,” says the angel to Sarah as he extended his hands to her. Sarah held his hand firmly; once the two hands met small glimpses of her life and his flashed before her eyes. This was his way of introducing himself to her without any need for any words to be spoken. Seeing those images meant a lot more than words. It felt as if she knew him for years, and she appreciated the fact that he shared some of his background with her. She was able to feel the beating of his heart, hear some of his thoughts, the ones he wanted her to hear, and sense his strength pureness somehow.

“What an amazing way to connect with someone. I felt your whole being from the touch of your palm. Oh look we are floating in the air and oh there is Jack sitting helplessly inside.”

“Don’t feel bad for him Sarah. There are things that you were not able to see with your worldly eyes. He’s actually privileged and has a hefty reward waiting for him in heaven. Still if you want to help him all that much, you can.” The angel is able to communicate with Sarah through by his energy that is reaching her through her hand.

“I will let you go now, do what you feel is necessary, but

remember if you can’t help him that means that the Lord wants it that way, God wants you to try your very best and accept the outcome that He decrees,”says the angel.

Sarah looked at the angel with great deal of distress, “Why did you let go of my hand. I have no idea how I can do this or even know how to go through this wall.”

“Did you at least try before you rush into conclusions? You must first make an attempt. You can do everything in this life with your intentions. Your intentions will create your world going forward,” says the angel to Sarah as he puts on a great big smile to comfort her. Sarah then closed her eyes and tried to use her intentions to get to Jack. “I am confused; I don’t know what to think.”

The angel closed his eyes, took a deep fresh breath in, and then suddenly Sarah found him in the room with Jack.

“If you really want it, it will surely happen.” Sarah closed her eyes, then took a deep breath in, and pictured the image of Jack sitting on the wheel chair while the other kids were running around and playing. Suddenly she opened her eyes to find herself next to Jack in the room where he was sitting down with his other cousins to play.The angel looked at her proudly and knew she was a special soul. She didn’t want to go until she healed her nephew.

“Oh my, you must have focused with your firiess and desired it from your optomus.”

“Is that what you call the mind and the heart,” asks Sarah so eagerly.

“My friend Sarah don’t be in a hurry to know everything, you will know everything in due time.”

Sarah wondered why he is not answering her questions right away. She was known to be impatient in her first life.

“Okay let me ask you this, how is it that I can’t feel my lips moving nor hear anything from what I am saying to you, yet we’re still able to communicate perfectly well?”

“Well that’s because you don’t have any ears Sarah, haven’t you noticed?”

Sarah was frightened by the idea that she no longer has ears, she wondered how she can live without something she's used to having and how can she cop with all these changes. “What!! That’s right I don’t have ears.”

Knowing Sarah's personality, the angel decided he will answer her questions. “You see Sarah; you don’t speak actual words any more. You envision what you want to convey to me in your firiess, and it reaches me through in the form of energy. If you really think about it, it was this way in the first life. Yes there were actual words being spoken, but that was the smallest means of communication. The tone, the body language, and most importantly the energy that was felt by the hearts did most of the communication. In this world you don’t need any words, they don’t mean anything. Words are cunning, deceptive, and misleading, but energies and actions can’t tell anything but the very truth.

Having said that, the firiess replaces what you used to have in your first life as your “Brain”. Your firiess contains your mind that contains your memories, love, your original personality that sets you apart from all else. The firiess has no physical form and it has abilities that your brain couldn’t possibly ever have. You will discover them little by little. For a start it has no dimensions, no beginning and no end. God has the ability to create whatever he pleases all in a perfect form and for a reason; you’ll learn to love your new and improved brain. Your firiess can take you anywhere you want to go, just as you envision it and since time is irrelevant, it will happen simultaneously with your intentions that come through from your Optomus.

The Optomus contains all your positive feelings from your first life

and it’s deeply connected with your Firiess, just as they were in your first life. Some discovered this fact and lived a beautiful life, and others looked at them as simply organs that have no means of communicating through the soul. Those that embraced this fact and did not look at intention and intuition as superstition or something someone made up, learned how to use those tools and hear the words of the hearts and souls, a language that can’t be taught by anyone.”

So the Optomus replaces what used to be your heart. You could never tell if you even wished it in the first place, that is why you will never feel deprived nor yearn for something. Your optomus has no dimensions or limitations. You can love something or someone as much as you desire. Since your optomus is in charge of your feelings and intentions, you can now wish for anything and enjoy it without any limitations.”

Sarah looks at her hands and feet and then Looked at the Angel and asked, “If I am a soul without boundaries, how come I still see myself in a form? I can still touch my other hand and feel it very well.”

The angel puts his hand on top of hers, and both of their hands glows.

“You can also feel my hand and it gives you a nice calming feeling. You have a form and you will see your reflection soon and will be even more pleased. The form you see is not confined in a physical body with so many demands like the one you had on earth. The form’s purpose is to give you a sense of identity, yet it’s not limit you and it’s not the form you feel things with although it may seem that way.

You sensed emotions and energies through your soul in your first life like you do here, although you thought it was through your physical form. You only sensed other physical superficial things with your worldly form. Here you sense everything with your soul, nothing with your form is sensed. Your form just a small presentation of Sarah that sets her apart from others.

Sensing only through one’s soul gives understanding, pleasure, and connection like you’ve never known before. There is a lot of pleasure involved in sensing energies, the pleasure of connecting with others on a high level, a noble one that knows no animal instincts. You are a spiritual being, always have been. In your first life you had a physical form your body that had many limitations, your soul has none yet it has all of the good qualities and capabilities that your physical body had multiplied by a million and it has more and better abilities that you will soon discover. Your soul is sensitive to everything it touches. It sense emotions and energies. You will find it glowing at things it likes and fading in color when it senses unpleasant energies.”

Sarah looks around and says, “This is strange. I am noticing this energy or light that is extended from everyone’s form. What does that do?”

“Every soul has this energy called halo around them. The brightness of this halo is determined by what kind of a person they were in their first life. The brighter the better, bright halos mean that you are or were a positive energy, good person, it also means that you can sense things better, which means you can enjoy everything around you more and you can take on its form if you wanted to feel it deeply inside of you as if you and that subject were one. My suggestion to you please keep away from faded halos.”

“But angel I thought I can do anything I wanted to do, what if I don’t want to stay away, what happens then?”

“The privacy law doesn’t apply to them, which means you will be able to know everything about them in details, and it will be very disappointing for you Sarah, your energy will suffer until something positive comes your way that will recharge your energy again. Around here you have no restrictions or limitations, nothing is forbidden, given that you’re a good soul of course, so my job will be to just advise you and you’re free to make your own choices. Bad souls have no rights; they’ve lost it all by their

bad deeds. There are two things that can weaken your halo, the first is when you approach a negative energy, and the second is when you heal something or someone.”

Sarah feels determined, “I want to heal my nephew little Jack now please.”

Angel looks at her and says,”You know what to do Sarah, go ahead and wish for it.”

Sarah stands next to Jack. Looks at him the same way she used to look at him before, with watery eyes and lots of love. She pats him gently on his shoulders, “Jack, Jack, it’s me Sarah, I miss you.”

“Sarah, he can’t hear you, but he might be able to feel you since you and him have something in common, energy.”

“Angel, I really want to heal him, He was diagnosed with autism ever since he was a small child and recently he got into an accident and now he’s on a wheelchair for the rest of his life.”

“I am sorry to tell you Sarah, but it was your sister that got him on that wheelchair. Scanning, scanning, scanning, there she is Lisa Fernandez sins. Come With me as I take you back in time to witness with your own eyes what happened to jack. ”The Angel took Sarah and traveled back in time and arrived on the day of the accident.

“Jack, I have a fun game that we can play together. If you do exactly what I tell you, you will be rewarded,” Lisa says to her little son Jack.

Jack looks at his mother with so much excitement, “Okay okay okay, yeah yeah yeah.”

Lisa throws the ball across the street, and wanted her own son to run in front of the cars to get it.

“Jack, don’t you be scared of those cars now, you are invisible to them, and they can’t harm you. This is your chance to discover your hidden abilities and who knows perhaps even fly.”

Jack jumps up and down with excitement, “yeah yeah they can’t harm me yeah, and I sure can fly. I like catching balls. Dogs are really good too with catching a ball, yeah I like dogs. I love dogs; I saw a dog on TV. Cats are afraid of dog. Cats are funny, they don’t like mice.”

Lisa pulls him aggressively from the back of his shirt, “Okay Jack got it, focus now. Wait until there is nobody, because if someone sees me throwing the ball again, they might try to catch it instead of you. We don’t want that now. Okay there is no one, are you ready now? “Yeah yeah, I am so excited yeah Mommy throw the ball now.”

Lisa holds the ball up high and throws it as far as she can across the street, “Okay here we go, now go catch it…”

Sarah falls down on her knees while sobbing, “ Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! No, she couldn’t have, nooooooooooooooo, nooooo. I can’t believe she would possibly have the heart to do this to her own child. What kind of a mother is she? She can’t be human.”

Sarah was in disbelief, her energy weakened and her halo faded as she watched her sister attempt to kill her own child.

“Ah, I hear her sobbing,” says Sarah.

“Ohhhh Jack my baby, I am so sorry, I love you. You’re so innocent in a world that knows no mercy,” says Lisa.

“I love you Mommy, sorry I couldn’t fly and caught the ball, but next time yeah next time I can for sure,” says Jack to Lisa.

“So she did feel bad after all,” says Sarah with a sense of relief to the angel.

“Being bad Sarah is a weakness not strength. It never leaves the soul in tranquility nor does it give it any sense of pleasure or real power. Going back to Jack, Sarah you can help him if you wish to, and you will need all the energy you have. Don’t waste your energy on something in the past, try to forget and move on and do what you can to fix the situation as it is. Learn from it; let it make you wiser, stronger, and smarter. Focus on what you can do now, instead of what happened in the past that you can’t change.”

“You can’t understand.”

“The Lord taught me valuable lessons and I am well acquainted with humans and I witness countless stories. You won’t believe it, that is really nothing. You see evil has no boarders. If someone doesn’t fear God, they won’t fear anything. You see the more evil your soul becomes; the more that person becomes one with Satan and takes on his attributions. People don't necessarily go to he'll for not praying and doing other acts of worship. People go to he'll because they refused to access God's love and energy that purifies them and strength their souls so they are better equipped to fight the temptations of the devil, the evil in them, and others around them. Prayer and the connection one makes with the Devine acts as a filter that stops the intoxication of the person's instincts and evilness from polluting his/her soul.

In your sister’s case, sadly Sarah, like so many people, Lisa cares about her image more than anything else. She chose not to use the Lord's help to fight her urges, animal instinct, and lack of confidence and in return she found herself a slave to them and allowed her instincts to control her instead of her controlling it. She saw Jack as a burden, a son that gave people a reason to pity her. She hated that feeling so much, she was willing to kill him. She depletes most of her energy on how she can make others jealous and envious of her. Look at her, just look at her, her halo is faded. If she continues to be like this, she won’t end up where you will be.”

Sarah was trying to regain her strength and energy. She focused on the moment where she will see Jack healed. Sarah entered the room where Jack was. When she entered the room, it felt a little breezy and lights in the room got brighter. Jack was sitting watching the other kids play games. His hands were close to his face, and every time he spoke, drools came out and he would quickly wipe them off before other kids see him and pick on him. Jack was overweight and the other kids did nothing but make fun of him, but that didn’t stop him from trying hard to connect with others. He is a very positive young man that loved everyone around him and wanted to be accepted and loved back. “Hey guy, it feel kind of chilly all of the suddenly.”

His cousin John is always very mean with Jack. “Hey drool face, shout your fat mouth.”

“Okay okay, I think I love you John.

“Hey drools, quite I can’t concentrate. You’ve already told me this and everyone else, 100 times so far. You’re starting to get on my nerves, stay quite.”

“Okay, yeah quite, I love you John.”

Sarah was mesmerized by the brightness of his energy. It was brighter then hers. Angel was looking at him with a big smile on his face, then looks at Sarah and says, “You see, his halo is as bright as mine, he knows no evil. Are you sure you want to completely heal him?”

“I am not happy seeing him on that wheelchair it's just isn't fair. How come other kids get to play and run, play and accelerate in life while he is left behind, why?”

“You're not happy seeing him like this but he sure looks happy to me, isn't that all that matters? He seems happier than all the other kids around him that can do all of the things he can't. He may be challenged but God gifted him with abilities that if anyone around him knew about, they would be envious of him and wish to

acquire. That’s why this gift won’t show up in his life till he is older, wiser, and strong so that he may protect himself. He will be a mathematical genius; he will discover formulas that will serve all of humanity. When the Lord takes something from someone, He always gifts them with something else bigger and better. I don't feel so bad for him at all. He is happy, gifted, and will be in an eternal bliss with the King of the heavens and earth in the hereafter. That's a lot to be thankful for.”

“Sarah try hard to see the unseen, to appreciate the miracles that most people take for granted, and don't judge based on appearances. You see Sarah great minds such as the person that discovered gravity saw that the falling of the apple down next to the tree quite confusing and needs a lot of thought. In the meantime everyone thought it was normal as normal can be. The genius sees what most people don't see, and that's what makes him extraordinary.”

“That made so much sense to me angel, you're absolutely right. Let me ask you this, If I heal his disability without healing his Autism, will his halo continue to be this bright till he dies?” asks Sarah.

“Yes Sarah, for sure; allow me to tell you something, you see God does things for a reason. Nothing is random, there is no such thing as coincidence. It’s funny how others look at him with pity not knowing where he will be in the next life. If they only knew they would be jealous of him. Let Me show you something, but before I do that, I must seek permission.” The angel lifted his head, and focused with all of his energy. “Yes, permission granted. I will show you what he would have been if he didn’t have the Down syndrome.” Angel brought both of his hands together and said a little prayer until lights appeared all already his hands. He then separated his hands wide apart from one another; a screen like appeared in between that space right in front of Sarah. Sarah was disturbed by what she was looking at, “Wow, why are those kids fighting, and who is this aggressive kid in the middle of this fight?”

“That would have been Jack, Sarah. He was going to be a very aggressive, selfish, and meanest person you’ve ever known.”

Sarah looks down and then says, “I am now happy knowing this. But why though why would he have turned out to be this way?”

“Sarah, your sister would have turned him into this person; by not showing him and giving him the love that he needs to be a good person. God knew that Jack deep inside has a good heart, but because of circumstances he was going to face, he was going to become a bad person. If he was strong enough to fight the circumstances, he would have created him without His condition. God sees through each one of us and knows what each one of us deserves, and based on this knowledge he tests us through happiness and trials.”

“So angel, does that mean that everyone that has his condition would have been bad if they were born without it?”

“No Sarah absolutely not, different reasons only the Divine have full knowledge of. If everyone in this world is healthy and fortunate, this would not be a test would it be? There will be no one to help, there will be no lessons to learn from, and no one will look forward to going to heaven.”

“But how can one access this information so he or she can better access and judge others and circumstances?”

“You can't access this information and you won't even have a need for an explanation if you possess faith. You must trust that where everyone is exactly where they need to be and it couldn't be any better, Even if the person himself doesn't see it that way. Think about it for a minute, it’s only in times of trail that one is able to grow, become more responsible, and gain wisdom.”

Sarah’s soul started to swirl all around Jack like a tornado and suddenly penetrated his body and out of his body her soul reappeared taking on Jack’s form. She found herself sitting on a wheelchair just like Jack, as if he and she were one. As she

focused on his physical pain, her face turned pale with no color, his pain was more than anyone can handle. She felt everything he was feeling, all his physical pain. Her legs and feet started to numb as if they were dead. Her energy level was low and she couldn’t gather enough strength to heal him. “Oh Jacky boy, grandma is here. I am making your favorite dish. Love you baby, give me some sugar, mwah, there now I feel better.”

Jack felt ecstatic and energized, “Hehe hehe hehe, yeah I like that. I like kisses.” Suddenly a spark of energy flew all over Sarah’s soul. When Jack was given a simple kiss from his grandmother, enormous amount of energy flew through his veins. Sarah sensed and felt every ounce of it; she then was able to gather all of her strength and just then is when she began to focus.”

John looked at Jack with his eyes wide open, his mouth dropped to the Floor. “What in the name of God is going on here? Grandma, Lisa, everyone come quickly.”

They all came quickly and were shocked by what they saw. It was unexplainable to them and beyond anyone’s comprehension. His legs were lit up with the brightest and whitest light they’ve ever seen. Suddenly he was able to move his legs. The light began to travel upwards and everywhere this light touched was healed.

His Grandmother was shocked and speechless. Tears came down storming from her eyes. “Ohhhhhhhhhh my Lord, oh my Lord, thank you for healing Jack thank you for giving me part of my happiness back. I haven’t felt this happy since….I am not going to complain, I am so happy right now.”

With her eyes full of tears, Lisa approached Jack slowing while breathing heavily. “Jack you’re a gift, a gift that I didn’t cherish. Ohhh I can’t believe we are witnessing a miracle right before our eyes. Oh those tears are the tears of repentance, they are the tears of joy, they are the tears of regret, and they are the tears of self-purification.” Lisa got down on her knees for the first time in

her life and raised her hands high. “Oh my Lord forgive my sins, give me strength to overcome my lower self, and never go back to the person that I used to be.”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe I am hearing this from Lisa. She just repented, did you see that Jack?” Says Sarah with so much excitement.

“I sure did Sarah. That’s why you knew judge, only judge yourself for the purpose of improving and evaluation.”

Screaming out his name as tears flow like a river from her eyes. “You’re moving your legs, yeah get up and out of that wheel chair come on my Jack.” His Grandmother exclaims.

Jack put both of his feet on the ground and both of his hands on the wheelchair handle simultaneously and stood up Again.

“Ohhhh this is a true miracle from God. Oh your aunt’s prayers have been answered. Sarah doesn’t pray a lot, but whenever I heard her pray, she was praying for you.”Lisa was still on the floor, she bowed down by Jack’s feet as she put her hands on his feet and kissed them, Jack went down on his knees and took his mother by the hands and lifted her up.

“No mother don’t be sad, I love you. Please always smile and give thanks,” says Jack.

“Wow Jack, we didn’t realize how loving and forgiving you are till now. You’re truly a gift,” says the Grandmother to Jack.

Jack walked over to her, and embraced her with both of his arms wrapped around her.

“Hey what’s going, oh my God. Jack you’re walking, “says Jose.

“Yes Jose, you missed a miracle that we all witnessed just now,” says Elizabth as she wiped her tears and walked over to Lisa and give her a big loving hug.

“I guess I missed it, just like I miss everything else. Perhaps if I stop running away from everything even you Elizabeth, I wouldn’t miss out on events like this.” He walked over to Jack and kissed him on his forehead and gave him a warm tap on his shoulders. He went to his mother and kissed her hand, and hugged Lisa.

“Where is Sarah? I feel so bad for the things I said before I left earlier. She is a good girl, we have to realize that she is still young and needs our support and love,” says Jose.

“Ohhh Sarah, Sarah is better than me. She has a heart that I only dream of. I will never hurt her again. What was wrong with me, how did I become like this? I really need God in my life,” Says Lisa.

“Oh my Sarah, she is the star of my life. I will go and wake her up, I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she sees Jack walking,” says the Mother.

This was a turning point if Sarah’s family. Each of me them has been awakened from the inside as they witnessed God’s love, mercy, and the greatest miracle that one can witness. Sadly it was too late; Sarah has been long gone while they were caught up with their lower-selves Id.

Angel looked at the sky, “Sarah, it is time; I see God’s energy approaching.”

“I can’t go angel without saying goodbye, a part of me still with them.”“Go Sarah, come when you’re ready.”

Sarah went next to her mother with teary eyes, “Mother, why are you crying? I don’t like to see your tears. Let me wipe your tears with my face. Oh your tears are so previous and loving. Give me your hand feel my hand on top of yours Mother. Do you feel my love for you? Do you believe me when I say I wanted to make you proud? I don’t want you to grief when you find me a body without

a soul. I was imprisoned inside my body. I am now free; I am now a soul without a body to be caged in. Ironically mother I never felt so alive till now. You were my biggest inspiration and my role model, I love you and I will wait for your soul to unite with mine in an eternal bliss.

Sarah started to walk then she began to question herself, why didn’t she say her goodbyes to Lisa and Jose. Could it be that she is still holding grudges? She quickly turned around and this was her way of letting go of all had feelings.

“Lisa and Jose, I forgive you both and I realize that I lacked on my part. I love you; you worked and sacrificed so much for us. Sorry that my time ran out quickly before I realized my shortcomings. Perhaps you can find it in your heart to forgive me as I forgave you, our relationship does not end here, and this is just the start.

(Laughingly) And as for you Jacky, will you know how I just feel about you,” says Lisa while crying. “I will see you all in heaven,” says Sarah as she was being lifted on a throne that was sent down to her from the Lord by many angels to take her to the mountain of life.

Sarah’s found her soul on top of a mountain with angel right next to her greeting her with a smile. The mountain had hands made up of colorful rocks unlike anything she’s ever seen in her life. There was a halo extended from the mountains hands. The halo reached her throne she was sitting on before the hand did. The halo lifted from gently and turned her around in a big circle to get a last glimpse of God’s creation and gave her a chance to say her last good bye to a world that was mortal and welcome a new world where everything in it was alive. Angels by the millions swirled around preparing the stairway to heaven.

This mountain was only for the good souls and never been seen by any human on earth. Out of complete darkness caused from the evilness and ignorance of this world a bright light right before her eyes appeared. Light of pureness and truth began to expend as the angels gathered all around it expending this light from

every angle. It was the light of heaven’s entrance, an entrance that has no beginning and no end, no dimensions, or limitations, an entrance to the real world; a world that only the good are destined to witness; a world hidden from our consciousness that can only be witnessed through our sub-consciousness. Sarah was overwhelmed with happiness her eyes were full of tears of joy. “Ohhh God, This energy has to be His…”

As the light of heaven expended a stairway appeared in front of her. Angels surrounded this stairway from every angle. Sarah began to walk up; the steps were made out of cushions, they were gentle and full of happiness, unlike the steps on earth that were hard to climb up and full of obstacles.

The steps lit up as her feet touched them. The angels greeted her with so much joy and passion. The light kept expending as her soul approached it. A band of angels gathered up playing music that her she never heard before. Although Each One of them was playing on a different instrument, somehow it looked and sounded as if they were all playing on the same instrument; perfect harmony, perfect rhythm, perfect team playing together towards the same goal in the absence of competition and ego. Sarah paused as she took a closer look at all the beauty all around her. As she approached the last step, she couldn’t see anything but a beautiful bright Light that extended all the way to the earth floor, the oceans and the seas were lit up. Somehow she was able to see through everything and everyone through this light of beauty, knowledge, and wisdom. When she saw everything more clearly, she felt that she now will never look at the same things ever the same again. The sea was so lit up she can see all that's in it, she saw the whole universe together as a one nothing is separate from another rather than little parts separate from one another, now she sees the whole picture in one frame.

"What’s all this beauty, peace, and love on earth. I wonder why I didn't see it that way before,” Sarah wondered.

Then suddenly a Powerful, breathtaking, energizing vibration quickly began to spread through the heaven and earth, “Welcome

to my kingdom, the Great Lord exclaims."

Sarah was overwhelmed with the energy that came through. She clasped as she grasped. Angel came next to her and touched her with his halo to make her stronger.

“Don’t be afraid Sarah that was God’s energy welcoming you. Every time the Lord speaks all of heaven and earth shacks, you feel this amazing vibration going through every part of your soul; it rejuvenates our souls and energizes us. ” “His energy is so powerful angel. I still can’t gather myself, I was out of breath, I felt as if I got electrified but with love."

“This was not his full energy; it was just a small part of it welcoming you.”

“I only wonder what it would feel like to stand before him would only feel like, I love the Lord angel, and I am happy to be here.” Sarah looked around her with amazement. She couldn’t believe her eyes. There are no words to describe such beauty, to describe such emotions, to describe eternity of bliss. As she put her last foot on the last step, I wonder can she be any happy then this?