REVIEW OF 1st Team Season 2015

After winter I come alive around the first of April, not as much as I used to but still get a sense of excitement that the season is upon us. This is sometimes known as a cricket boner. Years ago I would spend some time in the winter interviewing Glamorgan players about the season gone and then in the new year about the season coming. I used to learn a lot and also realise how much us mouthy lot on the side didn’t know about cricket. Steve James during an interview once told me Duncan Fletcher was looking at Simon Jones for England even though he had shown absolute zero for Glamorgan, nobody believed Steve including me at the time. I was absolutely gagging for the seasons to start then, I used to almost wish the winters away and then the day would finally come where I could see bat on ball and shout “shot”. The worst ever was though Glamorgan starting on a Friday and I finishing work at 3 so itching to get down to Sophia for the evening session and no matter how cold, it would be bliss. Unfortunately

after running out of work (I could run then) I dive in the Dagenham Dustbin that was my car and it not frigging starting. Bloody poxy Ford Sierra. Distraught is not the word, like the sexiest woman in the world ready in the room next door in her best undies and on the bed waiting for me and as I am about to make my entrance find I have no wind in my sails. (Please remember this is not a real event)

To make it worse this girl I fancied turned up for a kid’s party, (she made my sail fly) while the AA man was with me and my knackered car, she kept laughing at me which just topped off my mood. She had a really big arse which I felt spoke to me as she walked but that day I only wanted to see the rear of men in white. I used to love that smell of fresh grass and the sound of bat on ball again and seeing people I only generally saw between April and September. My frozen moobs on a Sunday morning in April at Worcester were worth it. Having said that I don’t think I was quite in possession of the moobs back then.

People used to think I was crazy but I still do it to a point, I keep saying things like the nights

are drawing out, when is Easter? I just saw a daffodil, only 6 weeks to the first game etc. etc., all signs of pre-season excitement. Like I said, not as bad as I was when I used to be a kid on Xmas eve type excitement or about to lose my virginity excitement or when I was about to actually fly on a plane for the first time. That was the longest morning of my life as I couldn’t wait although I soon realised flying can be boring. Being too excited does indeed have its downside, like when I did lose my virginity. My girlfriend (yes I was classy) made me tomato soup afterwards and I can assure you that despite being a fast eater, eating the soup took a lot longer than anything else that night. I still always order tomato soup as a starter even now and have never hated Mondays.

Anyway, back to the present and amazingly this year the pre league season games were played in ok weather and after watching the crap that was Cardiff City I turn up to see us fielding in the first game. Danie was bowling so I hear “Danie is travelling tonight on a plane” (Elton John for you youngsters) and come on Danie Minogue who apparently is the

sister of Kylie and quite fit which sounds just like our Danie. Also the familiar sight of Jonny grabbing his imaginary braces which is something not all overweight people do----trust me.

The next day something very rare happened, (no not Blunders getting a round in or Jimmy making a clear and instant decision) I found myself making up the numbers and counting down each over in the field praying not to get injured (I made it) but thank the almighty I didn’t have to bat. Basically though everyone

who was available had plenty of cricket before the league season and I had a good look at our new boys to help in my selection input, so we were ready for action but obviously the first league weekend it decided to empty down so I had to wait to get my league fix.

Jonny the eternal optimist was convinced we would win the league this year and with only Hopkinstown left of our recent rivals he had some good reason to be optimistic. We had some new recruits who we had plenty to be upbeat about and a settled regime with the captain so it was a decent call to say we would be in the mix.

Brynmawr became the first up then who we had fortunately escaped for a while but at least at home you don’t mind. They were not up to much but clearly had two talented but rather hot headed brothers.

One of which of course made good friends with Jonny while bowling with Jonny umpiring. Hilly ignored the skipper’s orders as the situation needed some cooling but demanded to stay as umpire. He boomed “No not now, not later, never” That was till he finished his spell and Jonny wanted to be replaced……………..we left him out there.

Earlier we had bowled them out for 118 and knocked it off in 18.2 overs so it wasn’t very exciting. Hannaford and Bowles played in this game and unfortunately we didn’t see much of either for the rest of the season. Lawrence we expected but sadly Dan has not been able to get down from London which has been a big miss although as the Ashes developed it was probably a blessing. Ed Neale along with Danie opened the bowling and things would change as the season developed for Ed. Biggest memory from this day were career best figures of 7

for 25 from Jonny, it’s in the book and forever will be and remember he has only bowled spin for a few years (don’t knock the filth). Coopers fine sheet was now to be a weekly fixture and has been a huge part of the season for a laugh after and some quality banter, no mercy was granted. Some players got slaughtered more than others while it became clear that having a good day on the field did not necessarily mean you didn’t have to fork out.

A week later we go to Cross Keys and I arrive at Jims after work to find out there has been drama with frantic efforts being made to find an 11th man and Tom not being best pleased. Tough situations these and the second team captain often takes the brunt of it all. Luckily Daf woke up to solve the crisis (on the lash Friday) and I find myself in Jimmy’s car going back to where I just came from to pick Daf up. He promptly prepared for the game on the drive up in his usual way with a can of beer and I did something similar to my usual preparation. I was dropped off in Risca to buy a huge pasty in Greggs to help me face the task ahead. We all prepare in different ways of course. The most memorable moment by far was Coops being run out. The pre innings chat was apparently no quick singles between him and Lawrence yet Lawrence hit one into the covers and quack quack! Sometimes when a batsman walks off you know not to say anything. Coops said nothing but then as I made my way upstairs to improve my view he was saying plenty. It took him approximately two hours to cool down and umpire!!!!!

We were in the deep smelly stuff that day. 104 for 8 but Scully with help from Edd and Danie took us to 199, we often say we bat till 11 and today we needed to. Ed and his counter attacking along with control from Scully plus Danie showing he is no true 11 basically won the game for us. The lack of bowling depth for them became an issue when it looked like they wouldn’t need the full 45. Scully then took five wickets to top off a great day for him personally. In the past we may well have crumbled in such a situation as we were, but these guys are full of stern stuff. The fines were piling up however. Two played, two won. Looming on the horizon the following Saturday was a big one, Hopkinstown at home and could we make it three out of three?

Cooper cheered up enough by now to dish the fines