Finding Joy Retreats

Finding Jesus in Isolation

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Table of Contents

Section One: Introduction...………..................…3

Section Two: Fr. Walter Ciszek…………………..…..6

Section Three: Surrendering to God’s Will.......8

Section Four: Prayer Exercise for Surrender…12

Section Five: Saint Elizabeth of

the Trinity……………………………..14

Section Six: The Surrender Novena..…..……….18

Section 7: How to Pray………………………………..24

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Section One

Introduction

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Introduction

Among the many feelings we are experiencing during this Coronavirus pandemic, one of the most common and horrible feelings is that of isolation. Whether we are cooped up with our families, spouses, children, confined in a small apartment or house by ourselves, or perhaps in actual quarantine in a hospital room or nursing home, a depressing experience of isolation can crowd into our minds and hearts right now. This isolation can give way to other feelings and considerations: fear and anxiety, depression and discouragement, doubt and despair. Simply put many of us feel like we are in prison, and that feeling can crush us. Nevertheless God does not want us to feel crushed, for St. Paul reminds us that “we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies” (2 Cor. 4:8-10). We should never fully be crushed because Jesus is with us always, during this time of pandemic and throughout our lives! This is a marvelous truth we must always remember!

In order to recognize Jesus and receive the joy of His presence, we need to first embrace the will of God. Through the insight of scripture and Fr. Walter Ciszek, we can begin to see that the will of God is not something discovered by us in a laborious search, rather the will of God is precisely the present moment. This sounds so simple, but the living this out is incredibly difficult. During this retreat, we will explore the profound reality of God’s will being the present moment, present situation, present person right in front of you.

The wisdom of Fr. Ciszek and the present moment as God’s will is complemented perfectly with the instruction in prayer that comes from St. Elizabeth of the Trinity, the Carmelite Mystic. St. Elizabeth teaches us the joyful truth that Jesus dwells within each of us. This truth goes unnoticed by most Catholics, and yet “finding Jesus within you” is a truth clearly found scripture. “Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?” (2 Cor. 13:5). As we endure the suffering of this earthly life, including this pandemic, we can discover the joy of Jesus in these incredible realities!

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Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom, Lead Thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home, Lead Thou me on! Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou Shouldst lead me on; I loved to choose and see my path; but now Lead Thou me on! I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still Will lead me on. O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till The night is gone, And with the morn those angel faces smile, Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!

Meantime, along the narrow rugged path, Thyself hast trod, Lead, Saviour, lead me home in childlike faith, Home to my God. To rest forever after earthly strife In the calm light of everlasting life.

Lead, Kindly Light

By St. John Henry Newman

In the middle of a frightening illness and his conversion to Catholicism, St. John Henry Newman wrote this poem as an expression of his surrender to God’s will right in front of him, “…I do not ask to the see the distant scene, one step enough for me…”

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Section Two

Father Walter

Ciszek

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Who is Fr. Walter Ciszek?

Born in 1904 in Shenandoah to Polish immigrants, Fr. Ciszek joined the Jesuits in 1928. The next year, he learned that Pope Pius XI was calling on seminarians to enter a new Russian center in Rome to prepare priests for work in Russia. For Fr. Ciszek, it was "almost like a direct call from God." Missioned to Rome to study theology and the Byzantine rite, Fr. Ciszek was ordained in 1937, but since priests could not be sent to Russia, he was assigned to work in Poland. When war broke out in 1939, Fr. Ciszek was able to enter Russia with false identification papers. He worked as an unskilled laborer until June 1941 when the secret police arrested him as a suspected spy. After his arrest, Fr. Ciszek found himself in the infamous Lubianka Prison in Moscow, where he was interrogated as a "Vatican spy" and sentenced to 15 years of hard labor in Siberia. Although forced to work in a Gulag coal mine, Fr. Ciszek found ways to hear confessions and say Mass.

For all the hardships and suffering endured there, the prison camps of Siberia held one great consolation for me: I was able to function as a priest again. I was able to say Mass again, although in secret, to hear confessions, to baptize, to comfort the sick, and to minister to the dying, he wrote. In 1955, Fr. Ciszek's sentence ended early since he had surpassed his work quotas, and he was freed from the labor camps but forced to live in the Gulag city of Norilsk, where he worked in a chemical factory. Happily, after decades of being presumed dead, Fr. Ciszek was finally allowed to write to family members in the United States. In Norilsk, Fr. Ciszek and other priests ministered to a growing parish but, before too long, the KGB threatened to arrest him if he continued his ministry. Missioned to another city, the KGB quickly shut him down again. Then, in 1963, Fr. Ciszek learned he was going home. In a release negotiated by President John F. Kennedy, he and an American student were returned to the United States in exchange for two Soviet agents. Following his return, Fr. Ciszek worked at the John XXIII Center at Fordham University (now the Center for Eastern Christian Studies at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania), until his death in 1984. Source: https://jesuits.org/news-detail?TN=NEWS-20171013024940

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Section Three

Surrendering to

God’s Will

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Surrender to God’s Will

Throughout the Gospels, Jesus tells us again and again not to worry and to trust in His love and guidance of our lives. “Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your life-span? If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest? …As for you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not worry anymore. All the nations of the world seek for these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these other things will be given you besides” (Lk 12:26, 29-31). Jesus is creator and Lord of the universe, and He will take care of us. Yet, we often choose to rely upon ourselves and our abilities, especially in the midst of suffering. This is one of the major conflicts in truly following Jesus.

In his memoir and spiritual classic, He Leadeth Me, Fr. Walter Ciszek addresses this conflict as he reflects upon his time in solitary confinement in a Russian Prison. Through much suffering and failure, Fr. Ciszek was given the grace to realize that, even though he said that he trusted in God, in reality he relied upon self-sufficiency and his own strength in suffering. We all fall into this trap. Most Christians live this way their whole life. Fr. Ciszek points out that suffering is often used by God to purge or purify this self-sufficiency or selfish ego out of us. We need God and do not actually trust in Him. This self-sufficiency also dictates how we view ‘doing the will of God.’ We often think, “perfection consists simply in learning to discover God’s will in every situation and then in bending every effort to do what must be done” (He Leadeth Me, 81). In this view, we expect God’s will to look a certain way and we expect to respond in a certain way to it. As noble and holy as this approach sounds, what underlies it is our desire to control our lives and circumstances. In this view, we have to discover God’s will. We have to embrace it. We have to conquer it. Not so, says Fr. Ciszek. The correct view of the will of God is that the current situation, thing or person is precisely the will of God for me. We do not discover the will of God. God’s will is right in front of us, and what God desires is for us “to accept these situations as from his hands, to let go of the reins and place myself entirely at his disposal” (He Leadeth Me, 81). This is an act of total trust and surrender. The will of God is not what we expect from God, but rather what God chooses to give us. The secret that Fr. Ciszek reveals to us in his time in Soviet prison and Siberian workcamps is that the will of God is the present moment, the present thing, task, place and especially people. When we reflect on doing God’s will, we often expect God’s will to be a certain thing or circumstance, and we get frustrated when our expectations are not met by reality. Rather, God’s will is the thing or person in front of you. Right now.

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Surrender to God’s Will

Despite the difficulty of living out this surrender in daily life, Fr. Ciszek reassures us that total surrender to God brings peace and joy. “In this subtle insight of the soul touched by God’s divine power lies the root of true interior joy. And as long as this vision persists, as long as the soul does not lose sight of this great truth, the inner joy and peace that follow upon it persist through even the saddest and gravest human trial and suffering” (He Leadeth Me, 124). In the midst of whatever suffering the Lord has given you, do you want true interior joy? Do you want the freedom of being led by God’s grace and power?

Though the grace of total surrender to God’s will in the present moment is an absolute gift, Fr. Ciszek says that there are three qualities which can open us up to receiving this special grace: constant prayer, the vision of faith and the humility to be led.

1. Constant Prayer: if we are to surrender to the will of God at every moment, we must be aware of God’s presence at every moment. This awareness comes through constant prayer. Yes, we must pray daily and have scheduled times of prayer, but we are called to the deeper reality of living always in God’s presence. Cooperating with the Holy Spirit, constant prayer takes time to enter into, but it will eventually become easier and easier, like any good habit!

2. The Vision of Faith: Since total surrender does not mean that we will not suffer, we must begin to see suffering as God sees it. Jesus’ suffering and death on the Cross is the supreme of example of how to view suffering in the vision of faith. Jesus embraced His suffering and death because He knew the miracle that would come through lovingly accepting that suffering: the resurrection. United with God in prayer, the loving embrace of suffering will lead to goodness, joy and the transformation of the world. In order to totally surrender to God, we must begin to “see” our suffering as a means to miracles and intentionally give it to Jesus to transform for us.

3. Humility to Be Led: receiving the present moment as God’s will means we must recognize that He is all-powerful, and we are not. We must be willing to led by Him, because He cares for us and controls everything. In short, we must have the humility of little children who trust in the guidance and protection of their parents. Though we must ask for this virtue from God, humility is also grown by gratitude and reflecting upon God’s power and love.

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Quotes from Fr. Walter Ciszek

“The fullest freedom I had ever known, the greatest sense of security, came from abandoning my will to do only the will of God.”

“Things suddenly seemed so very simple. There was but a single vision, God, who was all in all; there was but one will that directed all things, God's will. I had only to see it, to discern it in every circumstance in which I found myself, and let myself be ruled by it.

“God is in all things, sustains all things, directs all things. To discern this in every situation and circumstance, to see His will in all things, was to accept each circumstance and situation and let oneself be borne along in perfect confidence and trust. “

“By renouncing, finally and completely, all control of my life and future destiny, I was relieved as a consequence of all responsibility. I was freed thereby from anxiety and worry, from every tension, and could float serenely upon the tide of God's sustaining providence in perfect peace of soul.’”

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Section Four

Prayer Exercise

for Surrender

Luke 12:22-34

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Prayer Exercise:

Total Surrender

Luke 12:22-34

Instructions: Begin by asking the Holy Spirit to guide your prayer. Then read the scripture passage slowly several times, savoring each portion of the reading, listening for the “still, small voice” of God. Finally, when a word or phrase stands out to you, stop there and reflect on it for a while, allowing God to speak to you in the depths of your heart.

Jesus said to [his] disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life and what you will eat, or about your body and what you will wear. For life is more than food and the body more than clothing. Notice the ravens: they do not sow or reap; they have neither storehouse nor barn, yet God feeds them. How much more important are you than birds! Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your life-span? If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest? Notice how the flowers grow. They do not toil or spin. But I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass in the field that grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? As for you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not worry anymore. All the nations of the world seek for these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these other things will be given you besides. Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your belongings and give alms. Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

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Section Five

Saint Elizabeth

of the Trinity

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Who is St. Elizabeth of

the Trinity?

Elizabeth Catez was born in 1880 in Avor, France. Her father was an army captain and died when she was seven. She had a younger sister, Guite, and they were very close to each other and their mother. At the age of seven, Elizabeth told a friend of the family, Canon Angles, that she would be a religious. She was a precocious child with a flashing temper until she made her First Communion. From that time on she was noticeably calm in temperament. She was an accomplished pianist. Her family was middle class, and they enjoyed parties and other social activities.

From the time of her First Communion in 1891, she “wanted to give her life and to return a little of His great love.” At the age of thirteen she bound herself to Jesus was a vow of virginity. Elizabeth’s heart had been captured, and now she could think only of Him. On her twenty-first birthday she had her mother’s blessing at last to enter the Carmel in Dijon, close to her home. Elizabeth expresses in her letters a deep joy at being in Carmel. Everything led her to her “Three,” the Trinity. She offered herself unconditionally to “Him”; He accepted.

Elizabeth became ill shortly after entering Carmel and suffered for five years from a stomach ailment, now thought to have been Addison’s disease. Her suffering was intense both spiritually and physically; this caused her love for Jesus to increase, and also her desire to offer these sufferings to Him.

In her writings Elizabeth refers often to the words of Saint Paul. She speaks of her vocation: “To be a bride, a bride of Carmel,” means to have the flaming heart of Elijah, the transpierced heart of Teresa, to be His “true bride,” because she was ”zealous for His honor.” St. Elizabeth of the Trinity had true depth of prayer, was a mystic, a great lover of Jesus, and a real friend to her sisters in Carmel and her family. She referred to herself as Laudem Gloriae, Praise of Glory. She died November 9, 1906. Her last words were: “I am going to Light, to Love, to Life!” Her canonization took place in Rome on October 16, 2016.

Source: https://www.carmelitedcj.org/carmel/saints-of-carmel/160-bl-elizabeth-of-the-trinity

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The Indwelling of the Holy Spirit

All baptized Christians have a hidden treasure of peace and joy amidst the chaos and suffering of everyday life. Many of us don’t even know it is there, waiting for us to discover! St. Elizabeth of the Trinity called this “the heaven of my soul” (Last Retreat 20). This treasure is the indwelling Trinity- God Himself, living inside each of our souls!

Jesus Himself speaks of indwelling Trinity in the Gospel of John when He says, “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him” (Jn. 14:23). Take a minute to think about what this means. God’s power and love encompass us at every moment! Many of us think of God living and moving the world, but not right here, right now, inside your soul! St Elizabeth also lets us know that God dwells in heaven, and since He also dwells in our souls, heaven starts here, now, on Earth. Even though we won’t receive the fullness of heaven until after this life, but we can receive joy and peace while enduring our suffering. This is what St Peter refers to when he says “Although you have not seen Him you love Him; even though you do not see Him now yet believe in Him, you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy” (1 Pt. 8).

Not one of us deserves the gift of God living inside us. He gives it to us because “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:16), and He loves us so much that He cannot be apart from us! But like any gift, it is up to us to accept this treasure. How can we do this? 1) Discover It - Here is the good news, by exploring the truth of the indwelling

Trinity you have already started to discover it! You also must continue to discover this hidden treasure through prayer in prayer every single day. Invite the Holy Spirit to be a part of your day as part of your daily morning prayer.

2) Cling to It - Foster the habit of acknowledging Jesus’ presence with you and in

you as often as possible. Remember that God is in the present moment. Ask Him for help, and listen for prompts of the Holy Spirit throughout your day.

Such a great gift of love calls for a response. As St. Paul writes, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?” (2 Cor. 13:5). Let us take a moment to ask ourselves, do I really live in a way that responds to God’s immense gift of love for me? Am I willing to give Him everything as He gave me? If so, let’s explore the Surrender Novena, a prayer we can use to give Jesus everything!

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Quotes Saint Elizabeth of

the Trinity

“May my life be a continual prayer, a long act of love.”

“[My God,] What a joyous mystery is your presence within me, in that intimate sanctuary of my soul where I can always find you, even when I do not feel your presence. Of what importance is feeling? Perhaps you are all the closer when I feel you less.”

“It seems to me that I have found my heaven on earth, because my heaven is you, my God, and you are in my soul. You in me, and I in you – may this be my motto.”

“Make my soul…Your cherished dwelling place, Your home of rest. Let me never leave You there alone, but keep me there all absorbed in You, in living faith, adoring You.”

“Here in Carmel, there is nothing, nothing but God. He is all, He suffices, and one lives for Him alone and for His glory... this life of prayer and contemplation, interceding always for His people before the Face of God...”

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Section Six

The Surrender

Novena

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Day 1

Why do you confuse yourselves by worrying? Leave the care of your affairs to me and everything will be peaceful. I say to you in truth that every act of true, blind, complete surrender to me produces the effect that you desire and resolves all difficult situations.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

The Surrender Novena

Day 2

Surrender to me does not mean to fret, to be upset, or to lose hope, nor does it mean offering to me a worried prayer asking me to follow you and change your worry into prayer. It is against this surrender, deeply against it, to worry, to be nervous and to desire to think about the consequences of anything. It is like the confusion that children feel when they ask their mother to see to their needs, and then try to take care of those needs for themselves so that their childlike efforts get in their mother’s way. Surrender means to placidly close the eyes of the soul, to turn away from thoughts of tribulation and to put yourself in my care, so that only I act, saying, “You take care of it.”

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

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Day 3

How many things I do when the soul, in so much spiritual and material need, turns to me, looks at me and says to me, “You take care of it,” then closes its eyes and rests. In pain you pray for me to act, but that I act in the way you want. You do not turn to me, instead, you want me to adapt your ideas. You are not sick people who ask the doctor to cure you, but rather sick people who tell the doctor how to. So do not act this way, but pray as I taught you in the Our Father: “Hallowed be thy Name,” that is, be glorified in my need. “Thy kingdom come,” that is, let all that is in us and in the world be in accord with your kingdom. “Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven,” that is, in our need, decide as you see fit for our temporal and eternal life. If you say to me truly: “Thy will be done,” which is the same as saying: “You take care of it,” I will intervene with all my omnipotence, and I will resolve the most difficult situations.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

The Surrender Novena

Day 4

You see evil growing instead of weakening? Do not worry. Close your eyes and say to me with faith: “Thy will be done, You take care of it.” I say to you that I will take care of it, and that I will intervene as does a doctor and I will accomplish miracles when they are needed. Do you see that the sick person is getting worse? Do not be upset, but close your eyes and say, “You take care of it.” I say to you that I will take care of it, and that there is no medicine more powerful than my loving intervention. By my love, I promise this to you.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

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Day 5

And when I must lead you on a path different from the one you see, I will prepare you; I will carry you in my arms; I will let you find yourself, like children who have fallen asleep in their mother’s arms, on the other bank of the river. What troubles you and hurts you immensely are your reason, your thoughts and worry, and your desire at all costs to deal with what afflicts you.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

The Surrender Novena

Day 6

You are sleepless; you want to judge everything, direct everything and see to everything and you surrender to human strength, or worse—to men themselves, trusting in their intervention—this is what hinders my words and my views. Oh, how much I wish from you this surrender, to help you; and how I suffer when I see you so agitated! Satan tries to do exactly this: to agitate you and to remove you from my protection and to throw you into the jaws of human initiative. So, trust only in me, rest in me, surrender to me in everything.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

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Day 7

I perform miracles in proportion to your full surrender to me and to your not thinking of yourselves. I sow treasure troves of graces when you are in the deepest poverty. No person of reason, no thinker, has ever performed miracles, not even among the saints. He does divine works whosoever surrenders to God. So don’t think about it any more, because your mind is acute and for you it is very hard to see evil and to trust in me and to not think of yourself. Do this for all your needs, do this, all of you, and you will see great continual silent miracles. I will take care of things, I promise this to you.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

The Surrender Novena

Day 8

Close your eyes and let yourself be carried away on the flowing current of my grace; close your eyes and do not think of the present, turning your thoughts away from the future just as you would from temptation. Repose in me, believing in my goodness, and I promise you by my love that if you say, “You take care of it,” I will take care of it all; I will console you, liberate you and guide you.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

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Day 9

Pray always in readiness to surrender, and you will receive from it great peace and great rewards, even when I confer on you the grace of immolation, of repentance, and of love. Then what does suffering matter? It seems impossible to you? Close your eyes and say with all your soul, “Jesus, you take care of it.” Do not be afraid, I will take care of things and you will bless my name by humbling yourself. A thousand prayers cannot equal one single act of surrender, remember this well. There is no novena more effective than this.

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,

take care of everything! (10 times)

The Surrender Novena

Mother, I am yours now and forever.

Through you and with you

I always want to belong

completely to Jesus.

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Section Seven

How to Pray

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How to Pray

I. Basics of Prayer

Prayer is about a relationship: A relationship with God.

Our human relationships can be like mirrors which reflect truths about how we encounter God. His creation is always pointing back towards Himself, from whom all good things come.

Think of a first date or family meal or a deep conversation between friends or family, they all share certain basic characteristics. You sit with each other, you gaze at each other, and you talk to each other. This is generally how we grow in a relationship. The same basic truths apply to prayer. God Himself desires an intimate union with you, a deep relationship that can begin right now. These three basic “steps” in prayer: sitting, gazing and talking are not to be practiced physically as much as spiritually. God is unseen to our eyes. He is often not present to you in the same way as someone physically sitting next you rather, he is even more present to you because He lives IN you. The mercy of our Lord leads Him to dwell in you and by that fact He is closer to you than anyone else can be. We must interact with God internally. This is an act of the heart by which his indwelling presence makes you aware of his profound and perfect love for you. God loves you and wants to be with you. You can begin to pray as follows:

1. You must sit with God. Your heart must sit. (It is also helpful if your body is sitting or in a position similar to sitting.) To sit means you are in a position of resting and you are ready to encounter another person. Again, think of sitting down to a meal with your spouse or coffee with a close friend. You do not encounter people in this way by running or jumping or some other frantic action. Let your heart sit with God’s heart. You may actually imagine your heart and imagine it sitting down. Let your heart rest. You must quiet it and be ready to encounter God. You must be believing: “This is a time of prayer and I am going to be interacting with God Himself.” This is a real time of relationship with a real encounter.

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How to Pray

I. Basics of Prayer

2. You must gaze at God. To gaze means you see someone as they are, that you are looking at them intentionally. It means you are paying attention to them specifically. Your attention on the person is not divided if you are gazing at them. Think of how you would feel if, at dinner, your spouse was paying attention to everything but you. This would be harmful to your relationship and you wouldn’t feel seen or valued. So too with God, we must gaze upon him in our hearts. This means that as we sit we intentionally and specifically direct the “gaze of our hearts” to be on God. Physically, this means getting rid of any distractions around you that are within your power to get rid of. Kids and pets always seem to find their way to some of us and distract us, that is okay. If you can, it would be helpful to have a physical image or statue of Jesus to look at while praying. But most importantly, we must bring up an image of God within our hearts and focus on it. We have all seen paintings and statues of Jesus: bring one of these into your imagination and gaze upon Him in your heart. Beyond that, gaze upon Him and know that He is a real, living person who dwells in you and wants to share a relationship with you right here and right now. Put the attention of your heart on Jesus. Gaze on him. He is moving and communicating to you. This gazing can be very difficult, especially at first, and we will always get distracted. The important bit here is to keep redirecting our gaze to be on Jesus.

3. You must talk with God. We must notice this is not to be simply taking at God. We must spend time in silence listening to God. Looking again to the “mirror” of a dinner date: I don’t think the date would go very well if you only talked about yourself. Listening is key. But God wants to hear from you. He wants to know how your day is going, what makes you worried and anxious, what gives you joy and purpose, what scares you, what gives you courage, what you desire and what you want from Him. God wants to know all about you, so be honest and sincere. Tell him everything. Then be silent and listen. Remember to always listen in your prayer. This is the absolute hardest part of praying. Listening in silence is hard. God’s voice often will not come to you the same way as your spouse’s or child’s. His is deeper and closer then that. Think of when you lose your phone and it is on vibrate. You call it and listen very intently, in the silence, to try and find where it is. God is always calling you. His phone is ringing in your heart. Listen and you will find it.

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How to Pray

II. Embracing Hardship

We have talked about how we must acknowledge the present moment as God’s will for us, even if it involves suffering. This is crucial to understand if we are to encounter God in isolation. We must acknowledge hardship and suffering. We can’t pretend it is not there. But furthermore, and this the mystery of a life in Christ, we must actually embrace hardship and suffering, in order to receive the secrecy of God’s repayment. This embrace of suffering helps us see reality, life as it really is and God as He is really dwelling in us.

This embracing of suffering is found in every saint’s life. Saint Francis of Assisi, early on in his life, before he even gave everything over to the Lord and began to live the life that we all know him for, was riding a horse on a country road and encountered a leper. This was the ultimate suffering in Francis' time. It was the worst thing that could happen to you. Because of that, everyone avoided lepers at all costs. Francis did this too for much of his life. This encounter was different however because the Lord compelled Francis to face his fear and embrace the leper. He got off his horse and embraced and kissed the leper. He embraced suffering. It was after this decisive moment that Francis said “what was previously bitter to me became sweet and what was sweet became bitter.” Essentially, by embracing suffering St. Francis was able to taste the hidden sweetness that God was giving to him deep within his heart. His whole world was turned upside down and he became profoundly aware of God’s presence within himself and others.

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How to Pray

III. The Secrecy of God’s

Repayment

Matthew 13:44, “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

The kingdom of heaven is hidden in a field. It is a secret. The man that “stumbles” upon it is filled with joy and is willing to give everything to possess it forever.

When we acknowledge and subsequently embrace suffering and hardship, our lives are turned upside down. Bitter things can become sweet and sweet things bitter. When we embrace suffering we dig below the surface of our hearts and find the treasure: God’s repayment. The secrecy of God’s love. This treasure is God Himself, dwelling in us. Loving us into existence. When we embrace suffering we are able to strip away everything in our lives, to “sell all we have”, to realize that God is the only constant. That is the treasure below the surface. This knowledge of God’s love and presence is not secret in the sense that He withholds it from us or doesn’t want certain people to know about it. God’s love is secret because in the depths of your heart God wants to tell you how much he loves you: one on one. He wants His relationship with you to be first and foremost a deeply internal and personal encounter. Like best friends sharing their deepest secrets or a man confessing his love to a woman, God wants, in the secrecy, the hiddenness of your heart, to tell you how much He loves you: YOU!

And in our hearts God says:

John 14:18-20, “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, because I live and you will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you.”

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How to Pray

III. The Secrecy of God’s

Repayment

This God’s word: He will not leave us orphans, though we are in isolation. He will come to us, despite our being away from the sacraments and our Church. On THIS day we can realize that He is in us and we are in Him. Sit, gaze, talk. Revel in this! The King of the universe wants to be your friend! The Savior of the world wants to “hang out” with you! He wants you to retreat into your heart, the depths of your being so that He can repay you secretly. He wants His hidden love in you to be made manifest. Our Lord desperately wants to tell you how much He loves you, how much He cares for you, how He is with you. With you in your broken home and marriage. In your struggle to connect with your kids. In your struggle to connect with your parents. In your feeling of total hopelessness. Fear of death. Fear of yourself. In your coming face to face with so many of the problems in your life and how you cannot run away from them. In this God speaks:

John 14:18-20, “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, because I live and you will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you.”

God is IN you. Pray to Him. Sit, gaze, and talk. Ask Him, “Lord how much do you love me?” He will tell you in the secret of your heart.

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Notes

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- Fr. Walter J Ciszek, He Leadeth Me

- Jean-Peirre de Caussade, Abandonment to Divine

Providence

- Elizabeth of the Trinity, The Complete Works,

Volumes I and II

- Hans Urs von Balthasar, Two Sisters in the Spirit:

Therese of Lisieux & Elizabeth of the Trinity

Suggested Books

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