“FIRE EXTINGUISHERS FOR THE HOME”

Fireproof Your Marriage

Which of these do you think your husband most needs from you? (top 5 only)

AffectionSexual fulfilmentFinancial supportRecreational companionshipDomestic supportAdmirationConversationHonesty and opennessAn attractive spouseFamily Commitment

 In FireMarital conflict is created one of two ways:

Couples fail to make each other happy – When needs are not being met – Failure to Care

Couples make each other unhappy – When they are deliberately hurting each other – Failure to protect

Marriage is a complex relationship. High expectations Exclusivity of the relationship “forsaking all others” Men and women are different Different needs

 

Different Needs

WomenAffectionConversationHonesty and opennessFinancial supportFamily Commitment

Different NeedsMenSexual fulfilmentRecreational companionshipAn attractive spouseDomestic supportAdmiration

On Fire

Stop, Drop, and Roll!

When to STOPWhat to DROP andHow to ROLL!

    

When to Stop Stop trying to make him just like you! Stop trying to make him feel, think, act, respond or see things

just like you. You don’t have to agree about everything to have a great

marriage Be happily incompatible Consider this thought: “If two people think alike all the times, one of them is

unnecessary”  We should agree on the most important things in life – God,

sin, spirituality etc.

Review 0f The Basic Needs of Men

Sexual fulfilmentRecreational companionshipAn attractive spouseDomestic supportAdmiration

Proverbs 20:5 The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, utill a man (WOMAN) of understanding draws them out.

 

 Drop Worldly Values

Drop Worldly views and Values taught about Marriage Embrace the truth about marriage “SUBMISSION” – A word most women hate. FACT: Men are to lead in a marriage relationship Women are to follow their lead In your thinking, focus on scriptural authority Embrace forgiveness, commitment and love Be mindful of what TV shows and the media portray. Marriage is worth fighting for DROP worldly attitude!

The Love Dilemma

If you can’t love him as your HUSBANDLove him as your NEIGHBOUR. If you can’t do this,Then love him as your ENEMY! – It’s biblicalNOTE: Whenever you feel fuzzy, go back to Gods

word

The Love Dilemma

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

 Hold on to Gods values on Husband and Wife

Mark 4:18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.

  People generally like the bible’s idea of marriage but don’t

follow it. They hear the word but are “unfruitful” – is that you?  Change your course. God’s word will not change.

 Two In Two Out  Share with your husband about things that are important to you.

Share in the things he wants to do and find time for yourselves (without children, family, relatives).

At least 15 hours a week of conversation is a good place to start. Don’t Give Up on Your Spouse Bad Counsel is Bad Counsel – Recognize it (Open your ears to what

you need to hear not what you want to hear)

Things to Learn from Fire fighters

13 weeks of intensive training and a further one year training Constant practice Two In Two out. Never leave your partner behind

Statistics To Make Us Think

Building strong families gets tougher every day.

Children spend less than 30 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with their mothers and less than 15 minutes per week with their fathers.

Households headed by unmarried people living together have quadrupled since 1970.

According to a recent Gallup poll, 73% of Americans, under age 45, believe that life spent with the same partner is both unusual and unnecessary.

Six out of ten children live in a single parent household.

Statistics To Make Us Think

The cost of the average divorce is $19,365.00. (USA)

In the average divorce, women and children suffer a 73% decline in their standard of living.

The death rate for divorced men 35-60 years of age is 130% higher than their happily married counterparts.

In a Gallup poll, 89% of people, currently going through a divorce, sited a family history of divorce as being a contributing factor to the ending of their marriage.

Here are 8 steps to a better marriage:

1. Make a commitment to your marriage.

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. Hebrews 13:4

1 out of 3 marriages end in divorce.

1 out of 50 marriages end in divorce if the couple had a church wedding.

1 out of 105 marriages end in divorce if the couple attends church regularly.

1 out of 1,155 marriages end in divorce if the couple attends church regularly and has family devotions.

8 steps to a better marriage:

2. Learn to draw a very large circle of love.

And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her. Ephesians 5:25

3. Humble yourself before your spouse.

And further, you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21

8 steps to a better marriage:

4. Continually say positive things to your spouse.

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29

5. Never go to bed angry with your spouse.

And "don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

8 steps to a better marriage:

6. Forgive your spouse.

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matt 6:14-15

7. Consider what God wants in your situation not what you want.

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it. 1 Pet 3:9

8. Visualize what your life can be together.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jer 29:11

Transforming the Heart(Lessons from the Movie)

Some of the simple, yet potentially powerful actions that were suggested in the Love Dare included things like refraining from saying

anything negative to your spouse. The old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say

anything at all," still applies. Doing one nice thing today for one's spouse or calling to check on how

he is doing were some of the daily Love Dare challenges.

What Love Dare can you give yourself?

Transforming the Heart(Lessons from the Movie)

So many valuable pieces of successful marriage practices were seamlessly taught throughout the movie.

Pray for your spouse. Listen to your spouse. Invest in your marriage with your time, attention,

energy and even money. Study your spouse. Get a bachelor's, then a

master's, then a doctorate degree in your spouse. Have a never-ending quest to know the heart and

soul of your spouse and what makes them tick

True Love If you love something, set it free. If it comes

back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, It was never yours to begin with.         But if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free...

You either married it or gave birth to it.

By My Side

Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.        As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. Well, now that I think about it,

I think you bring me bad luck!"

Spouse Wanted

A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested - "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"        The marriage officer said, "Your requirements, please."        "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."        The officer listened carefully and replied, "Hmmmm, I think I understand.

You need a television."