Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155.
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COPYING OR DISTRIBUTING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK WITHOUT PERMISSION IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW.
On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear:
1. The full name of the play2. The full name of the playwright3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with
Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Denver, Colorado”
NARRATORS wear neutral colors or all black. They each wear a watch.
KING GEORGE wears a robe and crown.
NEWSBOY could wear a flat cap.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN wears round spectacles.
FRENCH SOLDIER wears a mustache, beret, and red scarf.
SPANIARD wears a red cape and cordobés hat.
ARMISTEAD is dressed as a film noir spy in a trench coat, sunglasses, and fedora.
FLEXIBLE CASTING NOTEThe production can be done with a cast as small as 20. The majority of characters can easily be double or triple cast. A single actor can play more than one COLONY by swapping the signs, and the three narrator roles can be merged to become only two. The only characters that cannot play additional roles are NARRATORS, KING GEORGE III, FLOYD, and GERTRUDE.William Dawes, General Howe, New Hampshire, DelawareSamuel Adams, SpaniardErving, James Armistead, New York, New JerseyGeorge Washington, General Cornwallis, General GagePaul Revere, French SoldierBen Franklin, Patrick HenryBritish Soldier One, John AdamsBritish Soldier Two, South Carolina, North CarolinaBritish Soldier Three, General Burgoyne, Connecticut, MarylandBritish Soldier Four, NewsboyColonist One, Massachusetts, VirginiaColonist Two, Captain John ParkerColonist Three, Rhode Island, PennsylvaniaColonist Four, Ms. T. Leef, Hope, GeorgiaSamuel Prescott, Marquis de Lafayette
SCENE BREAKSScene breaks are specified for rehearsal purposes only. The play should move fluidly from one scene to the next. Characters remain onstage unless specified otherwise.
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THE ENTIRE AMERICAN REVOLUTION(IN 40 MINUTES OR LESS!)
By EDDIE MCPHERSON
CAST OF CHARACTERS# of lines
NARRATOR ONE ..................narrator 51NARRATOR TWO ..................another 46NARRATOR THREE ...............another 34KING GEORGE III .................king of Britain 41MS. T. LEEF .........................works for the East India Company 4NEWSBOY ...........................sells newspapers 1HOPE .................................cute girl 1FRENCH SOLDIER ................helps the colonists win the war 7SPANIARD ...........................also helps the colonists 2JAMES ARMISTEAD .............double agent who feeds false 6
information to the BritishMARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE ......French general who fights for 6
the colonistsCOLONISTS COLONIST ONE ................American colonist 30 COLONIST TWO ................another 20 COLONIST THREE .............another 20 COLONIST FOUR ...............another 18 FLOYD .............................colonist who is in love 37
with Gertrude SAMUEL ADAMS...............spreads the word 9
about the Boston Massacre PAUL REVERE ...................helps to spread the word that 11
the British are coming JOHN ADAMS ...................member of the 1
Continental Congress PATRICK HENRY ...............another 1 GEORGE WASHINGTON .....leader of the American Patriots 1 WILLIAM DAWES ...............helps Paul Revere spread 6
the word SAMUEL PRESCOTT ..........also helps Paul Revere spread 4
the word CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER .....leader of the American militia 1 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ........negotiates an alliance with France 4
Scene Eight:Cell phone (BURGOYNE)Cell phone, wooden dowel (HOWE)Red wagon with black flag and white flag (BRITISH SOLDIERS)
Scene Nine:Binoculars (KING GEORGE)
Scene Ten:Red wagon with balloons (LAFAYETTE)Red wagon with balloons (BRITISH SOLDIER ONE)White flag (BRITISH SOLDIER TWO)
SOUND EFFECTSRidiculous ring tone, mystery music, applause, “William Tell Overture.”
COSTUME SUGGESTIONSAs mentioned above, the costumes are minimal. Also, no attempt should be made to fit the time or place of the action of the play to the time and place of the Revolution. For example, a modern day spy costume is worn by Armistead that would never have been worn in the 1700s. Below are suggestions to get your imagination rolling.
COLONISTS, including FLOYD, wear khaki shorts to the knees, white knee socks, black shoes, long sleeved white shirts, brown vests, and tricorne hats. Colonists all wear a pouch on a string to hold various brought on as props.
BRITISH SOLDIERS wear white or khaki shorts to the knees, white knee socks, black shoes, red T-shirts with white X’s on the chest, tricorne hats.
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BRITISH SOLDIERS ERVING............................nerdy soldier and assistant to King
George 11 BRITISH SOLDIER ONE......sent over to keep an eye on 12
the colonists BRITISH SOLDIER TWO .....another 8 BRITISH SOLDIER THREE ..another 6 BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR ....another 5 GERTRUDE ......................British soldier who is in love 33
with Floyd GENERAL GAGE ................British general who takes control 7
of the hills around Boston GENERAL BURGOYNE .......slow-moving British general 15 GENERAL HOWE ...............British general who fails to help 5
General Burgoyne GENERAL CORNWALLIS.....British general who surrenders 1
to the colonistsTHE COLONIES ....................personified thirteen colonies GEORGIA ..................................................................................2 PENNSYLVANIA ..........................................................................1 NEW YORK ................................................................................1 NEW JERSEY .............................................................................1 SOUTH CAROLINA .....................................................................1 NORTH CAROLINA .....................................................................1 DELAWARE ................................................................................1 RHODE ISLAND .........................................................................1 CONNECTICUT...........................................................................1 MARYLAND ...............................................................................1 NEW HAMPSHIRE ......................................................................1 MASSACHUSETTS .....................................................................2 VIRGINIA ...................................................................................1OPTIONAL EXTRAS ...............as additional colonists and British
soldiers
For suggestions on double and triple casting, see PRODUCTION NOTES at the end of the script.
1. Taxation Without Representation2. The Boston Massacre3. The Boston Tea Party4. The Battles at Lexington and Concord5. The Battle of Bunker Hill6. The Revolutionary War7. Crossing the Delaware8. Saratoga: The Turning Point9. France Fights with the Patriots10. Surrender at Yorktown11. A Lovers’ Spat
PROPERTIES BROUGHT ONScene One:
Inner tubes (ERVING, BRITISH SOLDIERS)Cell phones (ERVING, KING GEORGE)
Scene Two:Wooden dowels (BRITISH SOLDIERS, GERTRUDE)Paper wads (COLONIST TWO, COLONIST FOUR)Rubber duck (COLONIST ONE)Teddy bear (COLONIST THREE)Other miscellaneous items to throw (COLONISTS)Cell phones (KING GEORGE, SAMUEL ADAMS)Binoculars (KING GEORGE)
Scene Three:Phone (MS. T. LEEF)Cell phone (KING GEORGE)Headbands with feathers, red face paint, wooden dowels (FLOYD,
SAMUEL ADAMS, COLONISTS)Signs with colony names (COLONIES)Tricycle or skateboard (REVERE)Mop (COLONIST)Handmade megaphone, cell phone (ERVING)
Scene Four:Clock on a chain, heavy coat, gloves, scarf, broomstick (FLOYD)Broomstick (WILLIAM)Mops (REVERE, PRESCOTT)
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SETThe stage is mostly bare. A few wooden boxes sit UPSTAGE and are used to represent anything from hilltops to ships. An easel with eleven signs sits DOWN RIGHT. Additional pieces, like a British and an American flag, can be used, but are not necessary.
FLOYD: Yes, right here in the brand new United States of America.GERTRUDE: You mean back in Britain.FLOYD: (Crosses his arms.) I’m not moving back to Britain.GERTRUDE: (Crosses her arms.) And I’m not staying here.FLOYD: We’re not even married yet, and you’re already trying to
change me.GERTRUDE: I don’t think you love me at all. (Turns and walks OFF LEFT.)FLOYD: Don’t turn your back on me while I am talking to you. (Follows
her.) Come back here, Gertrude! Did you hear me?! (EXITS LEFT. SOUND EFFECT: “WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE” plays as the COLONISTS UNFREEZE and celebrate. Bows.)
END OF PLAY
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THE ENTIRE AMERICAN REVOLUTION(IN 40 MINUTES OR LESS!)
Scene OneTaxation Without Representation
LIGHTS UP. NARRATORS ENTER RIGHT and take their places DOWN RIGHT, where they will remain for the show.NARRATOR ONE: Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present the
entire American Revolution…NARRATOR TWO: In forty minutes or less. (KING GEORGE ENTERS LEFT.)NARRATOR THREE: Over in Britain, King George wanted to control the
American colonists. (COLONIST ONE ENTERS RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: But the colonists wanted their independence, so
they went to war.NARRATOR TWO: The colonists won and formed the United States
of America.NARRATOR THREE: The end. (NARRATORS applaud.)KING GEORGE: (Out of character.) Wait, we can’t act that fast.COLONIST ONE: Yeah, slow it down!NARRATOR TWO: Sorry, we’re a little hungry and trying to make it to
Steak ’n’ Shake before the crowds.KING GEORGE: Let’s try this again, shall we? (EXITS LEFT.)COLONIST ONE: Geesh! (EXITS RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: (Turns to the AUDIENCE and takes a breath.) Fine.
We begin our story with George the Third, King of Britain, taxing the American colonists. (NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Taxation Without Representation” on the easel.)
NARRATOR TWO: It was the 1760s, and King George… (KING GEORGE ENTERS LEFT with his shoulders back and head held high.) …desired to maintain control of the American colonies. (COLONIST ONE ENTERS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR THREE: They had broken from Britain some time ago and were acting like their own country…
NARRATOR ONE: …even though they technically still belonged to Britain.KING GEORGE: (In character, speaks with a bad, exaggerated British
accent. To the AUDIENCE.) Those colonists are nothing but rebels. But if they try to rebel against moi, they shall surely be punished.
COLONIST ONE: (Shouts.) Hey, King George!KING GEORGE: What do you want?COLONIST ONE: Do you know what you are? You’re a tyrant!KING GEORGE: And you, sir, are a rebel.
LAFAYETTE: (Pulls his wagon OFF LEFT from behind.) Beep, beep, beep.NARRATOR TWO: In the meantime, Patriot and French troops marched
south from New Jersey together and surrounded the British troops.NARRATOR ONE: For eleven days both sides fought nonstop.
(WASHINGTON ENTERS LEFT.)NARRATOR THREE: Cornwallis, the British General, gave up and sent
a runner to surrender to Washington.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (ENTERS RIGHT with a white flag and runs to
WASHINGTON.) Excuse me, sir, but General Cornwallis asked me to give you this. (Hands him the flag and runs OFF RIGHT. COLONISTS run ON LEFT, yelling and jumping and applauding and high-fiving one another as they surround WASHINGTON, who holds the surrender flag up in the air.)
NARRATOR TWO: Quiet! (COLONISTS and WASHINGTON FREEZE.) In Paris, France, the Treaty of Paris that ended the American Revolutionary War was officially signed in 1783. The colonies were on their journey at last to become their own country, the United States of America.
NARRATORS: The end.KING GEORGE: (Runs ON LEFT.) Boooo!NARRATOR ONE: (To KING GEORGE.) Get out of here! (KING GEORGE
runs OFF LEFT. NARRATOR ONE looks at his watch.) Well, we succeeded by telling the story of the American Revolution in forty minutes or less.
NARRATOR THREE: (Looks at his watch.) _______ minutes to be exact. (NARRATORS high-five one another. [NOTE: If time is over 40 minutes, NARRATOR THREE can add in the line, “Close enough!” before they high-five each other.])
NARRATOR TWO: And now it’s off to Steak ‘n’ Shake!NARRATOR ONE: Goodnight, folks!NARRATOR THREE: You’ve been a great audience! (NARRATORS EXIT
RIGHT. NARRATOR THREE RE-ENTERS quickly, remembering to flip to the last sign that reads “A Lovers’ Spat” on the easel. COLONISTS remain FROZEN.)
End of Scene Ten
Scene ElevenA Lovers’ Spat
FLOYD: (Runs ON RIGHT as GERTRUDE runs ON LEFT.) Gertrude, did you hear? The war is over.
GERTRUDE: And we can finally be married and get on with our lives together.
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COLONIST ONE: I would rather be a rebel than a bully.KING GEORGE: Well, I never! It looks as if I am going to have to send
some of my best soldiers over there to keep an eye on you colonist rebels! (Calls OFF LEFT.) Oh, Erving?
ERVING: (ENTERS LEFT.) You called, Your Majesty?KING GEORGE: I need you and some of your buddies to go to the
thirteen colonies and keep an eye on them.ERVING: (Whines like a child.) But that’s over three thousand miles
away. Even more in kilometers!KING GEORGE: Stop your insufferable whining and do as I ask!ERVING: (Bows his head.) Yes, sir. (EXITS LEFT.)KING GEORGE: (Shouts at COLONIST ONE.) Did you hear that, you
rebel? My soldiers are coming over there! (EXITS LEFT.)COLONIST ONE: Bring it on! (EXITS RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: So, thousands of British officers headed to
the colonies. (ERVING and BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE, TWO, and THREE ENTER LEFT wearing inner tubes around their waists and “swim” RIGHT.)
COLONIST ONE: (ENTERS RIGHT with COLONISTS TWO, THREE, and FOUR and puts up his hand.) Stop, you British soldiers!
COLONIST TWO: We forbid you to cross this line. (Draws a line with his foot.)
ERVING: Can’t you see that we outnumber you? (Quickly counts his men, then turns and shouts OFF LEFT.) Hey! (BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR ENTERS LEFT wearing an inner tube, “swims” over, and joins them. To COLONISTS.) Can’t you see that we outnumber you? Now, behave yourselves and no one will get hurt.
COLONIST ONE: You Redcoats need to leave us alone.BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: We’re here to keep an eye on you.COLONIST TWO: We’re doing just fine without you.COLONIST THREE/COLONIST FOUR: Yeah!NARRATOR ONE: Things were starting to heat up between the
colonists and the British soldiers.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: You must play by British rules.COLONIST ONE: (Crosses arms.) We won’t play by your rules.COLONIST TWO: (Crosses arms.) We won’t!COLONIST THREE/COLONIST FOUR: (Cross their arms.) Won’t!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (To ERVING.) Better call the boss. (ERVING
sighs, pulls out a cell phone, and dials.)
Yorktown, Virginia, and waiting for British ships to bring us many needed supplies. But remember, mum’s the word.
ARMISTEAD: Mum’s the word. (Tiptoes STAGE RIGHT as CORNWALLIS EXITS LEFT. LAFAYETTE ENTERS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR TWO: But James Armistead, as you can see by the way he’s dressed, was a spy and delivered this secret plan to a Patriot leader, the Marquis de Lafayette.
ARMISTEAD: (Stands shoulder to shoulder to LAFAYETTE, facing the AUDIENCE.) Psst. Don’t look at me!
LAFAYETTE: (Looks straight out.) You got any information?ARMISTEAD: The British are waiting for supplies from New York.LAFAYETTE: Oh, really? I will notify the French navy of this information
at once. Anything else?ARMISTEAD: The fish at Tenth Street Market is fresh today.LAFAYETTE: Great job, Armistead.ARMISTEAD: Shhh, my spy name is Fred Flintstone.LAFAYETTE: Thanks, Fred.ARMISTEAD: Don’t mention it. (They perform a secret handshake,
LAFAYETTE EXITS LEFT, and ARMISTEAD EXITS RIGHT.)NARRATOR THREE: Suddenly, French warships were on their way to
America and found their way to the Virginia coast. (LAFAYETTE ENTERS LEFT, pulling a red wagon with the FRENCH SOLDIER inside surrounded by balloons.)
NARRATOR ONE: British warships sailed down the coast from New York. (BRITISH SOLDIER ONE ENTERS RIGHT, pulling a wagon with BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR inside surrounded by balloons.)
NARRATOR TWO: The Battle of the Chesapeake was the definitive navy battle of the war.
LAFAYETTE: Prepare yourselves for the deafening sounds of our cannons. (FRENCH SOLDIER pops a balloon.)
BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: Oh, yeah? Well, prepare yourself for the sounds of our cannons. (Pops a larger balloon.)
FRENCH SOLDIER: Take that. (Pops several balloons with LAFAYETTE.)BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Take that! (Pops several balloons with BRITISH
SOLDIER FOUR.)NARRATOR ONE: Both sides fought hard as balloons were popped—I
mean, cannons were fired—night and day.NARRATOR THREE: But the British navy was defeated. (BRITISH
SOLDIERS bow their heads.)BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (Pulls his wagon OFF RIGHT from behind.)
Beep, beep, beep.
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KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with a cell phone. SOUND EFFECT: RIDICULOUS RINGTONE.) Chello?
ERVING: Sir, they say they won’t play by our rules.KING GEORGE: This is an outrage! Let me talk to one of them.ERVING: He wants to talk to you.COLONIST ONE: (Takes the phone.) Yeah?KING GEORGE: Listen, you rebel. How do you expect the British Empire
to grow more rich and powerful if you don’t cooperate?COLONIST ONE: Look, Georgie. First, you brought about the
Stamp Act.COLONIST TWO: (Grabs the phone.) Then you brought about the
Townshend Acts.COLONIST THREE: (Grabs the phone.) We are tired of being taxed just
so you can get richer and richer.COLONIST FOUR: (Grabs the phone.) Yeah!KING GEORGE: (Angry.) Let me talk to Erving.COLONIST FOUR: (Hands ERVING the phone.) Here.ERVING: Sir?KING GEORGE: You get those rebel colonists under control or else!
(EXITS DOWN LEFT.)ERVING: Yes sir. We will, sir. Whatever you say, sir. (To COLONIST ONE.)
What’s wrong with paying taxes?COLONIST ONE: Nothing’s wrong with paying taxes as long as we get
a say in how that money is spent.COLONIST TWO: What Britain is doing is called taxation without
representation, and it’s wrong.COLONIST THREE: Wrong!COLONIST FOUR: Wrongy dong, dong!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: You colonists are impossible! Let’s go, boys.
(BRITISH SOLDIERS and ERVING EXIT UP RIGHT, staring down COLONISTS, who remain ONSTAGE, as they pass.)
End of Scene One
Scene TwoThe Boston Massacre
FLOYD ENTERS RIGHT and joins the COLONISTS as they cross CENTER. NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Boston Massacre” on the easel.NARRATOR ONE: One cold, winter’s day, a crowd of colonists gathered
in a street in Boston, Massachusetts…
NARRATOR ONE: However, that cold winter was also a time when the American army practiced their fighting tactics and, as a result, became an even stronger fighting force.
NARRATOR THREE: The war began to move to south.NARRATOR TWO: Spain also stepped in to help the American army
out. (FRENCH SOLDIER ENTERS RIGHT with SPANIARD. They have their arms around each other’s shoulders like old friends.)
KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his binoculars.) Now what is going on? Why, that’s a Frenchman speaking to a Spaniard. Has the world gone mad?
FRENCH SOLDIER: You are my good friend.SPANIARD: And you are my good friend.FRENCH SOLDIER: Then you will help out our American amigos?SPANIARD: Si. We will loan the Patriots money as well as close
the port at New Orleans to Great Britain and open it to the American ships.
FRENCH SOLDIER: Come, we shall go celebrate this by flying a kite. (Shouts OFF RIGHT.) Hey, Ben, you got an extra kite? (EXITS RIGHT with the SPANIARD.)
KING GEORGE: Now Spain has stepped in. No matter, we shall remain strong in the southern colonies.
NARRATOR TWO: And they did remain strong.KING GEORGE: All right!NARRATOR TWO: But not for long.KING GEORGE: Darn it! (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)NARRATOR TWO: The moment of truth had come.
End of Scene Nine
Scene TenSurrender at Yorktown
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Surrender at Yorktown” on the easel.NARRATOR ONE: In order to win the war, both armies needed a
victory. (GENERAL CORNWALLIS and JAMES ARMISTEAD, who is dressed as a modern-day spy in a trench coat, fedora, and sunglasses, ENTER LEFT.)
NARRATOR TWO: General Cornwallis led British soldiers into Yorktown, Virginia.
CORNWALLIS: (Puts his arm around ARMISTEAD.) My dear friend, James Armistead, don’t tell anyone, but we are stopping here in
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NARRATOR TWO: …and started singing.COLONIST ONE: (Sings.) Yankee Doodle went to town…COLONIST TWO: (Sings.) …riding on a pony.COLONIST THREE: (Sings.) Stuck a feather in his cap…COLONIST FOUR: (Sings.) …and called it macaroni! (ALL laugh
and applaud.)BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (ENTERS RIGHT holding a wooden dowel.)
There, there! What’s all this noise?COLONIST ONE: Just having a little fun.BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Oh, yeah? Well, the king sent us Lobsterba—
I mean, us Redcoa— I mean, us British soldiers over here to keep the peace.
BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (Runs ON RIGHT, followed by GERTRUDE and BRITISH SOLDIERS THREE and FOUR. ALL are carrying wooden dowels.) And that’s exactly what we demand. Peace!
COLONIST TWO: (Holds up a large paper wad.) Stop acting like you own us, or I’ll throw this snowball at you.
BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: That’s a wadded up piece of paper.COLONIST TWO: This is a low-budget play, so it’s a snowball.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: Don’t you dare throw that snowball at me!COLONIST FOUR: Throw it!COLONIST THREE: Throw it!COLONISTS: Throw the snowball! (COLONIST TWO draws his arm back,
then ALL FREEZE.)NARRATOR THREE: (Steps CENTER.) Before we continue this scene,
we would like to direct your attention to—NARRATOR TWO: (Rushes to NARRATOR THREE.) What are you doing?NARRATOR THREE: Introducing the love story.NARRATOR ONE: (Approaches.) Love story? (GERTRUDE and FLOYD
UNFREEZE and meet CENTER.)NARRATOR THREE: All famous real life historical stories have their
own fictional tale of love. The Civil War has Scarlett and Rhett, the sinking of the Titanic has Rose and Jack, and our story has Floyd and Gertrude. (NARRATORS return to their place DOWN RIGHT.)
FLOYD: (Melodramatic.) Oh, Gertrude, our love can never survive, for you are a British soldier, and I am an American colonist.
GERTRUDE: (Also melodramatic.) But, Floyd, I love you so.FLOYD: We must love one another in secret.GERTRUDE: Oh, Floyd!
LEFT. Crosses RIGHT, mutters to himself.) Sheesh. Some people. It’s not like the audience doesn’t know how to suspend disbelief or anything. I mean, really. They’ve been doing it the whole play. (EXITS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR THREE: The British defeat at Saratoga was the turning point that changed the entire outcome of the war.
End of Scene Eight
Scene NineFrance Fights with the Patriots
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “France Fights with the Patriots” on the easel.NARRATOR ONE: News of the Patriot’s victory at Saratoga reached
Paris, France. (BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ENTERS RIGHT with a FRENCH SOLDIER.)
KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT and looks through his binoculars.) Who is Benjamin Franklin talking to? A Frenchman? It’s a good thing I can read lips.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: (To the FRENCH SOLDIER.) I would consider it a great favor if you would help our Patriot soldiers in this war.
FRENCH SOLDIER: (In a bad French accent.) Oui, oui. France realizes now that you Americans might just beat the British after all.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: So, you will help us?FRENCH SOLDIER: Oui, oui, but of course.BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Splendid. Come. We will spend the afternoon
flying a kite.FRENCH SOLDIER: Oui, oui.BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Yes, we get it. You’re French. (EXITS RIGHT
followed by the FRENCH SOLDIER.)KING GEORGE: (To himself.) Just as I thought, Franklin has convinced
the French to get involved. We are dead ducks now. (As he EXITS LEFT.) Where’s my Alka-Seltzer?
NARRATOR TWO: The winter of 1777 and ’78 was a harsh and cold one.NARRATOR ONE: General Washington and his men tried to stay as
warm as possible around fires at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania.NARRATOR THREE: They lived in tents full of holes.NARRATOR TWO: Clothes and shoes were in short supply.NARRATOR ONE: Food was scarce.NARRATOR THREE: Diseases spread quickly among the soldiers.NARRATOR TWO: Many died from illnesses such as typhoid, influenza,
and smallpox.
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FLOYD: Oh, Gertrude! (They embrace.) Wait, I hear someone coming.COLONIST ONE: (UNFREEZES.) What’s going on over here?FLOYD: Uh, just giving this Redcoat a piece of my mind. (To GERTRUDE.)
Away with you, you Lobsterback. (Winks at her behind COLONIST ONE’S back.)
COLONIST ONE: Come on, there’s about to be a snowball fight, and I don’t want to miss it. (Runs over and REFREEZES with the rest.)
FLOYD: Oh, Gertrude!GERTRUDE: Oh, Floyd! (They embrace.) Text me later.FLOYD: Goodbye. (Rejoins the COLONISTS and FREEZES. GERTRUDE
rejoins the BRITISH SOLDIERS and FREEZES. After a beat, everyone UNFREEZES.)
COLONIST THREE: We are sick of being treated like children.COLONIST TWO: Go back to your king and take him this. (Throws the
paper wad at BRITISH SOLDIER TWO.)BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: Now look what you did! I’d have you know
this coat is dry clean only. (Holds up a wooden dowel as though it were a rifle.)
COLONIST FOUR: In that case, have another one. (Throws another paper wad.)
NARRATOR ONE: It wasn’t long before the crowd turned into an angry mob.
NARRATOR TWO: The colonists began to throw all sorts of things at the British officers.
NARRATOR THREE: Anything they could find.COLONIST ONE: (Throws a rubber duck from his pouch.) Take that!COLONIST THREE: (Throws a teddy bear from his pouch.) Take
that! (COLONISTS continue to throw miscellaneous items from their pouches.)
NARRATOR ONE: The mob became more and more rowdy.COLONISTS: Redcoats, go home! Redcoats, go home!BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (Holds up the dowel.) Don’t make me use
this fake gun!COLONISTS: Redcoats, go home! Redcoats, go home!NARRATOR TWO: In the midst of the confusion, one of the
colonists yelled—COLONIST THREE: Come on, everybody, let’s go home and sit by
the fire!BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: What did you say?COLONIST THREE: Let’s go sit by the fire.
with BRITISH SOLDIERS THREE and FOUR riding inside. ALL have their wooden dowels. There are black and white flags in the wagon.)
BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Coming, sir.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: Wait a minute, look. (Points to the UPSTAGE
side of the wagon.)BURGOYNE: What’s the matter?BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: Flat tire.BURGOYNE: (Sarcastic.) Oh, great, now it will take us forever to get to
Saratoga. All right, somebody grab a jack, and let’s get this wagon moving! (BRITISH SOLDIERS mime changing a tire.)
NARRATOR THREE: Because it took so long for them to reach their destination, the Patriots had time to rally up more troops and face the British army with great power. (WASHINGTON, FLOYD, and other COLONISTS ENTER LEFT with their wooden dowels.)
COLONIST ONE: (Points.) Look, we have more soldiers than they do for once! (COLONISTS laugh.)
BURGOYNE: That’s not fair! We had wagon trouble.COLONIST ONE: Haven’t you heard? All’s fair in love and war. Let’s get
them, men!BURGOYNE: (Throws up a hand.) Wait! (COLONISTS FREEZE as he dials
his phone.)HOWE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his cell phone.) Hello?BURGOYNE: Where are you? You were supposed to meet us here.HOWE: Oh, dear. Sorry, old boy. We decided to go to Burger King instead.BURGOYNE: Some friend you turned out to be. (Hangs up. HOWE
EXITS LEFT.) Okay, guys, let’s get this over with.NARRATOR TWO: So, the Patriot soldiers and British soldiers fought.COLONISTS: (In unison.) Bang! (In unison, the BRITISH SOLDIERS fall
to the ground.)NARRATOR ONE: On October 17, 1777, General Burgoyne surrendered.BURGOYNE: (Raises the black flag from the wagon.) We surrender!NARRATOR ONE: Wrong flag.BURGOYNE: Sorry. (Throws it down, raises the white flag, and waves it
around.) We surrender! We surrender! (To the BRITISH SOLDIERS.) Get up. Let’s go.
BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: But we’re dead.BURGOYNE: Seriously? (To the AUDIENCE.) I’m so sorry. Could you do us
a favor and close your eyes for just a second? That’s it. (To BRITISH SOLDIERS.) Okay, they can’t see. Let’s go. (BRITISH SOLDIERS EXIT RIGHT and the COLONISTS, FLOYD, and WASHINGTON EXIT
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BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: By the what?!COLONIST THREE: The fire! FIRE!BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: Okay. BANG! (A COLONIST yells “Ouch!”
and falls.)BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: BANG!COLONIST FOUR: (Falls.) You got me!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: BANG!COLONIST TWO: (Falls.) I’m comin’ to join you, ’Lizabeth!COLONIST ONE: (Puts his hands on his hips.) Now look what you did!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Someone yelled, “Fire!”COLONIST THREE: (Turns and yells OFF LEFT.) Samuel Adams?!SAMUEL ADAMS: (Runs IN RIGHT.) Yeah?COLONIST THREE: (Whines.) The Redcoats are shooting at us.SAMUEL ADAMS: It’s a bloody massacre! (Pulls out a cell phone
and dials.)KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT. His phone RINGS, and he
answers it.) Chelloooo?SAMUEL ADAMS: Samuel Adams here calling from Boston. Did you
see what your precious soldiers did over here?KING GEORGE: You’re three thousand miles away… hold on. (Takes a
pair of binoculars and looks through them.) Oh, my, that is a mess.SAMUEL ADAMS: What do you plan to do about it?KING GEORGE: I’ll tell you what. We will do away with all the taxes in
the Townshend Acts.NARRATOR ONE: The Townshend Acts taxed the colonists on tea,
lead, paper, paint, and glass.KING GEORGE: Except for the tea tax. We’ll just keep that little tax to
remind you who is still in control. Ta-ta. (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)COLONIST ONE: What did… (Sarcastic.) …His Majesty have to say?SAMUEL ADAMS: He said he will do away with all the taxes except
the tea tax.COLONIST FOUR: (Revives and jumps to his feet.) He can’t do that!COLONIST TWO: (Revives.) We love our tea!COLONIST ONE: (Points a finger at the BRITISH SOLDIERS.) We’ll get
you for this! (BRITISH SOLDIERS and GERTRUDE laugh and EXIT RIGHT. COLONISTS, FLOYD, and SAMUEL ADAMS mutter angrily as they EXIT LEFT.)
End of Scene Two
NARRATOR ONE: They finally had needed supplies such as food—COLONIST ONE: (Holds up a bag.) I have the Doritos!NARRATOR THREE: Weapons—COLONIST TWO: (Holds up a light saber.) I have the light sabers!NARRATOR TWO: And shoes—COLONIST THREE: (Holds up a shoe.) I have the Nikes!NARRATOR ONE: But most importantly they had hope.HOPE: (ENTERS RIGHT and strikes a pose.) Hey, boys.COLONIST FOUR: Hey look, guys. It’s Hope! (COLONISTS rush to her
and escort her OFF LEFT.)End of Scene Seven
Scene EightSaratoga: The Turning Point
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Saratoga: The Turning Point” on the easel.NARRATOR THREE: And now comes the turning point of the war.
Drum roll, please.NARRATOR ONE: We don’t have a drum, just go.NARRATOR THREE: In June of 1777, British General John Burgoyne
led thousands of soldiers from Canada into New York.BURGOYNE: (ENTERS RIGHT.) That’s me! She’s talking about me.NARRATOR TWO: Be quiet and just act out the scene.BURGOYNE: (Makes the “okay” sign.) Okey-dokey.NARRATOR ONE: General Burgoyne called up his old buddy, General
Howe, who was fighting his way to Philadelphia.BURGOYNE: (Pulls out a cell phone and calls.) Ring, ring.HOWE: (ENTERS LEFT, talking on a cell phone and carrying a
dowel.) Hello?BURGOYNE: What’s up, Howe?HOWE: Burgoyne! Hello, old chap. Yes, I’m fighting my way to Philadelphia.NARRATOR ONE: See?BURGOYNE: Listen, we need to work together and kick some Patriot
booty. I got about eight thousand guys here ready to go.HOWE: Okay, I’ll meet you at Saratoga. Look, I’ve got to get off the
phone. I’m in the middle of a battle here. (“Shoots” OFF LEFT.) Bang, bang! Hey, I got you! Fall down! (EXITS LEFT.)
BURGOYNE: (Shouts OFF RIGHT.) Okay, boys, let’s go to Saratoga! (BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE and TWO ENTER RIGHT, pulling a red wagon
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Scene ThreeThe Boston Tea Party
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Boston Tea Party” on the easel. KING GEORGE ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his cell phone. MS. T. LEEF ENTERS RIGHT with a phone.KING GEORGE: (On the phone.) Ring, ring.MS. T. LEEF: (Answers.) Hello, East India Company, this is Ms. T.
Leef speaking.KING GEORGE: Ms. T. Leef? George. How are things?MS. T. LEEF: (Friendly.) George, it’s been a long time. What can I do
you for?KING GEORGE: Look, I know you’re struggling, and I also know you
have a lot of tea on your hands…MS. T. LEEF: Get to the point, George.KING GEORGE: I will tell the American colonists that they must buy
their tea from you. It’s a win-win. Those fussy Americans get cheaper tea, you earn money, and I get to tax it all.
MS. T. LEEF: Oh, Georgie! It’s a deal. Bye! (EXITS RIGHT.)KING GEORGE: Sweeeeeet! (Laughs an evil laugh as he EXITS
DOWN LEFT.)NARRATOR ONE: So, the deal was done. (COLONISTS ONE, TWO, and
THREE ENTER LEFT.)NARRATOR TWO: But the American colonists didn’t like this plan
at all.COLONIST ONE: (Approaches NARRATOR TWO.) Look, it’s the principle
of the thing.COLONIST TWO: (Approaches NARRATOR ONE.) If the British Parliament
controls who sells us tea, who’s to say they won’t start demanding that we buy other things from whomever they say.
COLONIST THREE: It’s just not fair! (COLONISTS EXIT LEFT. GERTRUDE ENTERS RIGHT. FLOYD ENTERS LEFT, wearing a feather in a band around his head with red stripes painted on his face and carrying a wooden dowel. They meet CENTER.)
GERTRUDE: Oh, Floyd, I have missed you so, but why are you dressed like a Mohawk Indian?
FLOYD: Shhhh! Not so loud. We Sons of Liberty are on a secret mission.NARRATOR THREE: The Sons of Liberty was a secret society…NARRATOR TWO: …organized by the American colonists…NARRATOR ONE: …to protect their rights against things like unfair
taxation by the British government.
FLOYD: Well… about that. I decided I don’t want to be a Loyalist anymore, so I sort of don’t want the British to win the war.
GERTRUDE: One thing I love about you is your fickleness.FLOYD: But my devotion to you has never once wavered.GERTRUDE: Kiss me.FLOYD: Can’t. Play. G-rated.GERTRUDE: Drat.FLOYD: These are indeed gloomy days for the Patriots.GERTRUDE: British troops have pushed the Patriots across New
Jersey and into Pennsylvania.FLOYD: Hold on, I’m getting a call. (Finds and answers his cell
phone.) Hello? Wow. Thanks for the call. (To GERTRUDE.) General Washington has decided to cross the Delaware River out of Pennsylvania and attack a bunch of Hessian soldiers in Trenton, New Jersey who are fighting for Britain.
GERTRUDE: Washington crossing the Delaware. That makes me want to sing a song while the scene is acted out behind me. (As she sings, COLONIST ONE ENTERS RIGHT, pulling a little red wagon. WASHINGTON is in the wagon, iconically posing, with COLONISTS TWO, THREE, and FOUR walking on either side of the wagon “rowing” with their dowels. The wagon is slowly pulled across the stage. FLOYD smiles fakely throughout. GERTRUDE sings to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.”)
Row, row, row that boatAcross the Delaware.General George and all his menFinally made it there.Once they reached the water’s edge,The Hessians they surprised.These Hessians sure were caught off guard,The surrender flag did rise… I mean raise… (WASHINGTON and the COLONISTS EXIT LEFT. GERTRUDE turns to FLOYD. Speaks.) Well, what did you think of my song?
FLOYD: (Still smiling.) It was… just awful.GERTRUDE: (Offended.) Well, I never. (Slaps him and storms OFF LEFT.)FLOYD: Wait, does this mean we’re breaking up? Hello? (Runs OFF
LEFT. COLONISTS ENTER UP LEFT with Doritos, a light saber, and a Nike shoe.)
NARRATOR TWO: On January 3, 1777, the Patriots defeated the British army at Princeton, New Jersey.
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GERTRUDE: (To the NARRATORS.) Would you be quiet? We’re trying to do a scene here. (To FLOYD.) I’ll go with you, my love.
FLOYD: No, I can’t risk you spilling the beans about what we’re up to.GERTRUDE: I would never rat on the man I love. Oh, Floyd, Floyd,
Floyd. Do be careful. And know I will be waiting for you when this whole diabolical plan is over.
FLOYD: I would kiss you now, but this play is G-rated.GERTRUDE: In that case… (Extends her hand to be kissed, but FLOYD
grabs and shakes it.)FLOYD: Go now, and don’t say a word. (GERTRUDE runs OFF RIGHT
as SAMUEL ADAMS runs ON LEFT, followed by the COLONISTS. They all wear headbands with feathers, have red stripes on their faces, and carry wooden dowels. FLOYD joins them. They all strike a pose and FREEZE.)
NARRATOR TWO: The Sons of Liberty took their positions.NARRATOR THREE: The docks in the Boston Harbor were dark and
quiet on the night of December 16, 1773.NARRATOR ONE: Samuel Adams led his group of some sixty men
to board three ships that night and, well, see for yourselves what happened. (SOUND EFFECT: MYSTERY MUSIC plays underneath the following slow-motion pantomime. The COLONISTS silently shush each other and jump on top of the boxes UPSTAGE. They row with their dowels, until SAMUEL ADAMS directs the COLONISTS to board the ships by jumping behind the boxes. They reach down and take small boxes labeled “tea” and throw them over the edge of the boat. They celebrate by high-fiving one another and throwing their fists into the air. MUSIC FADES OUT and COLONISTS, SAMUEL ADAMS, and FLOYD EXIT LEFT.)
NARRATOR TWO: These Sons of Liberty were proud of their accomplishment and wanted all the colonies to know what they had done. (COLONIES ENTER RIGHT wearing signs with the name of their colony written on it. They form a line UPSTAGE.)
NARRATOR ONE: And because the Internet hadn’t been invented yet, they sent trusty Paul Revere out on his horse to spread the news. (PAUL REVERE ENTERS LEFT on a tricycle or skateboard.) I said, he went out on his horse!
PAUL REVERE: (Stops. Disappointed.) Aww! (A COLONIST ENTERS LEFT and hands him a mop. PAUL REVERE straddles the mop, and the COLONIST takes the tricycle or skateboard OFF LEFT.)
NARRATOR TWO: And off he went, proclaiming the news of what they had done in the Boston Harbor!
COLONIST FOUR: He said… (Clears his throat and imitates KING GEORGE.) …this means war!
NARRATOR TWO: Okay, everybody, clear the stage. (BRITISH SOLDIERS and GAGE EXIT LEFT. COLONISTS EXIT RIGHT.) Back in the colonies on July 4, 1776, Congress approved the Declaration of Independence.
NARRATOR ONE: Copies of this new declaration were made and delivered to all the colonies so everyone would know exactly what it said.
NEWSBOY: (ENTERS LEFT, holding up a newspaper.) Extra, extra, read all about it! Declaration of Independence has been adopted by Congress! Extra, extra, read all about it! The colonies are breaking away from British control and becoming the United States of America! Extra! Extra! (EXITS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR TWO: By late August of 1776, under the leadership of General George Washington, American soldiers called Patriots were ready to fight in this revolution.
NARRATOR ONE: On August 27, one of the earliest battles of the Revolutionary War occurred on Long Island, New York.
NARRATOR THREE: Approximately ten thousand Patriots from the colonies faced twenty thousand British soldiers.
NARRATOR TWO: The Patriots were badly beaten.NARRATOR ONE: Not long after, other battles were lost by the Patriots.NARRATOR THREE: By that October, the British army controlled
New York.BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: (ENTERS LEFT and shouting OFF LEFT.) Guys,
did you hear that? We control New York! Let’s ride into the city and catch a Broadway show for free! (BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE, TWO, and THREE cheer as they ENTER LEFT. WASHINGTON and COLONISTS ONE and TWO ENTER RIGHT. They spot each other. BRITISH SOLDIERS yell as they chase the COLONISTS back OFF RIGHT.)
NARRATOR TWO: The British army drove General Washington and his men across the Hudson River.
End of Scene Six
Scene SevenCrossing the Delaware
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Crossing the Delaware” on the easel. FLOYD and GERTRUDE ENTER LEFT.FLOYD: Gertrude!GERTRUDE: I’m so glad you are on Britain’s side, now.
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PAUL REVERE: (Shouts.) Hey, Georgia, we dumped tea into the Boston Harbor to teach Britain a lesson.
GEORGIA: Awesome!PAUL REVERE: Hey, Penny, we dumped tea into the Boston Harbor to
teach Britain a lesson.PENNSYLVANIA: Nice.PAUL REVERE: Hey, New York…NARRATOR TWO: And on he went until all the colonies caught wind of
what had happened in Boston.NARRATOR ONE: Some of the colonies were pleased with the news.NEW YORK: Rock on!NEW JERSEY: Cool!CONNECTICUT: That will show Britain!MARYLAND: Wish I could have been there!NARRATOR THREE: But others not so much.SOUTH CAROLINA: Destroying property?VIRGINIA: That’s plum criminal!NORTH CAROLINA: This marks the end of law and order.NARRATOR THREE: And the rest of the colonies didn’t get any lines
in this play.DELAWARE: What?RHODE ISLAND: No fair.NEW HAMPSHIRE: What the heck?MASSACHUSETTS: (Sarcastic.) Hey, Paul, nice horse. (The COLONIES
laugh as PAUL REVERE rides OFF RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: Now, Britain was really seeing red.KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his phone.) Ooooooh! I am
really seeing red now. (Dials.) Erving!ERVING: (Runs ON RIGHT, talking on the phone and carrying a
handmade megaphone.) Right here, sir.KING GEORGE: I need for you to relay a message to the rebels. Tell
them that they shall be punished. They are no longer allowed to hold town meetings. (Pause.) Well, what are you waiting for? Tell them!
ERVING: Oh. (Turns to the COLONIES and shouts through the megaphone.) Hey, colonies! You are no longer allowed to hold town meetings!
KING GEORGE: We are closing the Boston Harbor until the destroyed tea is paid for.
NARRATOR ONE: Bunker Hill, even though it took place at Breed’s Hill.NARRATOR THREE: About 150 colonists lost their lives at this battle.NARRATOR TWO: And more than two hundred British soldiers
were killed.GAGE: Oh. (Signals to his men. BRITISH SOLDIERS drop quickly to
the ground.)End of Scene Five
Scene SixThe Revolutionary War
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Revolutionary War” on the easel.COLONIST THREE: (Stands.) We should end this conflict quickly
before things get out of hand. (ALL get to their feet, murmuring agreement.) We have signed an olive branch petition and will send it to King George to read and consider. (Holds up a piece of paper.) Who wants to deliver this petition to the king?
COLONIST FOUR: I will! (Runs OFF RIGHT and immediately RE-ENTERS, stepping into an inner tube.) I will! (Takes the paper and “swims” DOWN LEFT.) Splash, splash, splash. (KING GEORGE ENTERS DOWN LEFT.) You King George?
KING GEORGE: I am.COLONIST FOUR: Telegram. (Hands him the paper.)NARRATOR TWO: Telegrams were like text messages…NARRATOR ONE: …just a whole lot slower.KING GEORGE: It’s about time they give me some more lines in this
play. (Reads.) Dearest King… (To himself.) Ahhhh, that’s sweet. (Reads.) Please stop fighting the colonies over here. Instead, listen to what we have to say. (Skims the rest. COLONIST FOUR gets bored and starts waving to the AUDIENCE and showing off his inner tube. To COLONIST FOUR.) What?! Why this is nothing more than open rebellion against Britain. This means war! (COLONIST FOUR is still distracted, waving to the AUDIENCE. KING GEORGE gets his attention.) Well? Go tell them this is war!
COLONIST FOUR: What, no tip?KING GEORGE: Go! (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)COLONIST FOUR: (Swims UP RIGHT.) Splash, splash, splash. Shark!
Shark! Shark!COLONIST ONE: Well, what did the old grumpy king have to say?KING GEORGE: (From OFF LEFT.) I heard that!
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ERVING: We are closing the Boston Harbor until the destroyed tea is paid for.
KING GEORGE: (Turns to the COLONIES and shouts through his hands like a megaphone.) And we are placing your Massachusetts colony under British Army rule!
MASSACHUSETTS: (Drops to his/her knees.) Nooo!KING GEORGE: That’s what you get for messing with King George!
(Dials another number.) Ring, ring. (ERVING EXITS RIGHT.)SAMUEL ADAMS: (Runs ON LEFT with a phone, followed by COLONISTS
THREE and FOUR. Answers his phone.) Hello?KING GEORGE: I am sending more soldiers over there to keep an eye
on things. Ta-ta! (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)SAMUEL ADAMS: Hello? Hello?! (Hangs up.) He makes me sooo mad!
This is an outrage!COLONIST THREE/FOUR: Outrage!SAMUEL ADAMS: These acts are intolerable.COLONIST THREE/FOUR: Intolerable!SAMUEL ADAMS: They are so intolerable, we shall call them the
Intolerable Acts. (Storms OFF LEFT, followed by COLONISTS. The COLONIES remain ONSTAGE.)
End of Scene Three
Scene FourBattles at Lexington and Concord
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Battles at Lexington and Concord” on the easel.NARRATOR TWO: The colonists decided to take action. Every colony
except Georgia sent men to Philadelphia.GEORGIA: (Shrugs.) Sorry! (EXITS RIGHT as the other COLONIES swing
their signs behind their backs and form an open huddle at CENTER.)NARRATOR ONE: It’s September 1774. Fifty-six men met in secret.NARRATOR THREE: These men included John Adams. (JOHN ADAMS
ENTERS LEFT and waves at the AUDIENCE before joining the huddle.)NARRATOR TWO: Patrick Henry. (PATRICK HENRY ENTERS RIGHT and
bows to the AUDIENCE before joining the huddle.)NARRATOR ONE: And George Washington. (SOUND EFFECT: APPLAUSE.
WASHINGTON ENTERS LEFT and waves like a beauty queen in a beauty contest.)
NARRATOR THREE: This was the very first meeting of the Continental Congress.
JOHN ADAMS: We will cut off trade with Britain!
finally end in a line STAGE RIGHT facing the COLONISTS in a line STAGE LEFT, weapons at the ready.) …British soldiers, ready to attack, ran up Breed’s Hill where colonists waited.
GAGE: Charge! (Leads BRITISH SOLDIERS, screaming, in a charge toward COLONISTS. COLONISTS fire their weapons, shouting “Bang, Boom, Bam, etc.” BRITISH SOLDIERS, still yelling, with GAGE at the lead, make a U-turn and run back to STAGE RIGHT.) Sorry, guys. Their gunfire scared me. Let’s try this again, shall we?
NARRATOR TWO: The British soldiers mustered up their courage and tried again.
GAGE: Charge! (Again leads BRITISH SOLDIERS, screaming, in a charge toward COLONISTS. COLONISTS fire their weapons, shouting “Bang, Boom, Bam, etc.” BRITISH SOLDIERS, still yelling, with GAGE at the lead, make a U-turn and run back to STAGE RIGHT. GAGE is breathing hard.) I promise… I won’t… be scared… next time.
NARRATOR ONE: They decided to try it one more time.GAGE: We’re trying this one more time.NARRATOR ONE: See? (BRITISH SOLDIERS and COLONISTS FREEZE.)COLONIST ONE: (UNFREEZES, checks his pouch, and taps COLONIST
TWO on the shoulder. COLONIST TWO UNFREEZES.) I have some good news and some bad news.
COLONIST TWO: What’s the good news?COLONIST ONE: I really like your socks.COLONIST TWO: Thanks. What’s the bad news?COLONIST ONE: We’re out of ammunition.COLONIST TWO: Oh, great, and here come the Redcoats again.
Everyone… (COLONISTS UNFREEZE.) …play dead. (COLONISTS quickly lie down on the ground, pretending to be dead.)
NARRATOR TWO: (Approaches.) Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is all wrong. The militia never played dead.
COLONIST TWO: Darn it. All right, guys, you heard the lady. (COLONISTS moan and groan as they stand. BRITISH SOLDIERS UNFREEZE.)
GAGE: One, two, three, charge! (BRITISH SOLDIERS, screaming, charge the COLONISTS. COLONISTS put their fingers in their ears and shut their eyes.)
BRITISH SOLDIERS: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! (COLONISTS drop quickly to the floor.)
NARRATOR ONE: As you can see, the British won the battle at Breed’s Hill.
NARRATOR TWO/NARRATOR THREE: Bunker Hill.
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PATRICK HENRY: We shall form our very own fighting groups.WASHINGTON: And call them militias.ALL: Militias! (ALL cheer in celebration and run OFF RIGHT. FLOYD
ENTERS LEFT, wearing a clock on a chain around his neck.)GERTRUDE: (ENTERS RIGHT and crosses to meet FLOYD at CENTER.)
Oh, Floyd, I miss you so. Why are you dressed like that?FLOYD: I am what we colonists call… (Strikes a hero’s pose.)
…a Minuteman.GERTRUDE: What’s a Minuteman?FLOYD: We are soldiers that must be ready to fight in a minute’s notice.GERTRUDE: Forget all this nonsense. Let’s run off together and
be married.FLOYD: Gertrude, I love you, but I must do what I must do. My country
needs me.GERTRUDE: (Angry.) I should let the British beat you in Concord for
saying that.FLOYD: The British are heading to Concord?GERTRUDE: Yes. They are planning to arrest rebel leaders and destroy
the weapons you have stored there.FLOYD: (Turns to leave.) We must head to Concord to do away with
some British soldiers.GERTRUDE: But when will I see you again?FLOYD: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a—GERTRUDE: Stop! Wrong story. Wrong war.FLOYD: Sorry. Goodbye, my love. Until we meet again. (Marches OFF
LEFT, singing.) Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony… (He’s OUT.)
GERTRUDE: Byeeee. (Runs OFF RIGHT, crying.)NARRATOR ONE: That night, around seven hundred British soldiers
prepared to march toward Concord, Massachusetts. (PAUL REVERE ENTERS RIGHT straddling a mop. SAMUEL PRESCOTT and WILLIAM DAWES ENTER LEFT and meet PAUL REVERE at CENTER. PRESCOTT also straddles a mop, DAWES a broomstick.)
NARRATOR TWO: Three colonists—Paul Revere, William Dawes, and Samuel Prescott—met in secret.
PAUL REVERE: (To DAWES.) Will, the British are planning an attack at Concord.
DAWES: (To PRESCOTT.) Hey, Sam, the British are planning an attack at Concord.
GERTRUDE: Fine, just move on to the Battle of Bunker Hill, see if I care. (Takes FLOYD’S hand, and they skip OFF LEFT.)
NARRATOR ONE: (Shouts after them.) Thanks for giving away the next scene! (Turns to the AUDIENCE, embarrassed, and clears his throat.) We now move on to the Battle of Bunker Hill. (NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Battle of Bunker Hill” on the easel.)
End of Scene Four
Scene FiveThe Battle of Bunker Hill
NARRATOR TWO: The British army was trapped in Boston.BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (Runs ON LEFT.) Oh, no! We are trapped in
Boston! (Runs OFF RIGHT.)NARRATOR TWO: See?NARRATOR THREE: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you British
General Thomas Gage. (SOUND EFFECT: APPLAUSE.)GAGE: (ENTERS LEFT, followed by BRITISH SOLDIER TWO. Bows at
CENTER. Sticks his finger in the air.) I have decided to take control of the hills around Boston!
BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (Excited.) I get it. That way, the colonists can’t shoot down at us from the hilltops.
GAGE: (Holds up a BINGO card.) Bingo! (COLONISTS ENTER LEFT with dowels and form a huddle.)
NARRATOR ONE: But colonial militia got wind of this plan.COLONIST ONE: I hear they are planning an attack on Bunker Hill.COLONIST TWO: In that case, we will go and protect Breed’s Hill.COLONIST THREE: He said they are planning an attack on Bunker Hill.COLONIST TWO: Read the history books, the attack took place on
Breed’s Hill.COLONIST FOUR: Then why has history named it the “Battle of Bunker
Hill?” (COLONISTS look at the AUDIENCE in silence and shrug.)COLONIST ONE: Anyway, we will be ready for these Redcoats.
(COLONISTS put their hands in the center of the huddle.) One for all and all for one! (COLONISTS throw their hands in the air.) Break!
COLONIST TWO: I think that’s the Three Musketeers.COLONIST THREE: Oh, be quiet!NARRATOR THREE: On June 17… (Madly, additional BRITISH
SOLDIERS ENTER from all sides with dowels and other odd items to represent weapons. [NOTE: If EXTRAS are used in this scene, BRITISH SOLDIERS should outnumber the COLONISTS.] ALL run around chaotically, bumping into each other. BRITISH SOLDIERS
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PRESCOTT: (To PAUL REVERE.) Hey, Paul, the British are planning an attack at Concord.
PAUL REVERE: We must ride our mops—I mean, our horses—around the countryside and warn the people.
DAWES: But I have a broomstick.PAUL REVERE: Then you ride your broomstick, and we will ride
our mops.DAWES: (Strikes a pose on his broom.) Hey look, I’m Harry Potter!PRESCOTT: (Ignores him.) Paul, you head up to Medford, I’ll
ride through Cambridge, and William, you take the Roxbury-Brookline route.
DAWES: Right! We will get those dementors if it’s the last thing we do. Ha-ha! (Rides around on his broomstick.)
PAUL REVERE: And you are not Harry Potter!NARRATOR THREE: So, the three men were off for Lexington and
Concord to warn the people of the British soldiers’ approach. (SOUND EFFECT: “WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE” plays as PAUL REVERE, PRESCOTT, and DAWES ride around the stage.)
PAUL REVERE: The British are coming. The British are coming!PRESCOTT: The British troops are planning an attack at Concord!PAUL REVERE: We need all Minutemen to report!DAWES: Dumbledore believes in me!PAUL REVERE/PRESCOTT/DAWES: The British are coming! The
British are coming! (EXIT DOWN LEFT. MUSIC OUT. CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER ENTERS LEFT, followed by COLONISTS, carrying wooden dowels as weapons.)
CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER: This is where the British soldiers are planning to attack. We will be ready! Up here. (Signals to the COLONISTS, who jump behind the boxes and hunker down. SOUND EFFECT: MYSTERIOUS MUSIC plays. BRITISH SOLDIERS ENTER RIGHT stealthily, with their dowel guns at the ready. They cautiously spread across the stage, keeping their backs to the COLONISTS. MUSIC FADES OUT. There are a few beats of silence.) Fire! (COLONISTS pop up and fire their weapons, some shouting “Bang,” others doing their best impressions of blasters from “Star Wars” or other funny sounds. BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE, TWO, and THREE go down.)
BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: (Dances around happily.) You missed me! You missed me!
COLONIST FOUR: Bang!BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: (Drops his dowel and grabs his chest,
stumbling around.) You got me. (Weaker.) You got me. (Drops to his
knees.) You… got… me. (Falls dramatically. The COLONISTS and CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER celebrate, then drag the BRITISH SOLDIERS OFF LEFT.)
NARRATOR THREE: Different battles between the British and the colonists continued on and off for eight long years.
NARRATOR TWO: During the winter months, the cold weather and snow made it impossible to fight. (Throws a handful of white confetti.)
NARRATOR ONE: (Sarcastic, to NARRATOR TWO.) Nice special effects, champ. (To the AUDIENCE.) So the troops would have to wait until the spring thaw to start fighting again.
GERTRUDE: (ENTERS RIGHT and FLOYD ENTERS LEFT. Both wear heavy coats, gloves, and scarves. FLOYD straddles a broomstick.) Floyd, is that you? (Hugs him.)
FLOYD: Gertrude. You look so cold.GERTRUDE: The winters are very harsh.FLOYD: I have good news. I have become a Loyalist.GERTRUDE: A Loyalist? (Excited.) Oh, my darling, you have become a
Loyalist. I am so proud of you. I have but one question, my love.FLOYD: Yes?GERTRUDE: What’s a Loyalist?NARRATOR ONE: (To the AUDIENCE.) A Loyalist was a colonist who—FLOYD: (To NARRATOR ONE.) I got this.NARRATOR ONE: Sorry.FLOYD: (To GERTRUDE.) A Loyalist is a colonist who doesn’t want to
be separated from the British Empire.KING GEORGE: (Pops ON DOWN LEFT and gives a thumbs-up.) I like
Loyalists! They’re my friends. (Pops OUT LEFT.)FLOYD: I think separating ourselves from the king is a big mistake.GERTRUDE: That means we are on the same team now. Are you sure
you’re not just telling me this to get on my good side? (BRITISH SOLDIER THREE ENTERS LEFT, dragging in a broken mop.)
FLOYD: Watch, I’ll prove it. (To the SOLDIER.) Excuse me, sir. (Points OFF RIGHT.) There are some Minutemen hiding over there, so you’d better go that way. (Hands him his pouch.) Here’s some beef jerky for food and an extra horse you can ride since yours broke… I mean, died. (Hands him the broomstick.)
BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: I really appreciate it. (Straddles the broomstick.) Ya! Ya! (Gallops OFF RIGHT.)
GERTRUDE: It is true. Oh, Floyd! (They embrace.)NARRATOR ONE: Okay, that’s enough mush.
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PRESCOTT: (To PAUL REVERE.) Hey, Paul, the British are planning an attack at Concord.
PAUL REVERE: We must ride our mops—I mean, our horses—around the countryside and warn the people.
DAWES: But I have a broomstick.PAUL REVERE: Then you ride your broomstick, and we will ride
our mops.DAWES: (Strikes a pose on his broom.) Hey look, I’m Harry Potter!PRESCOTT: (Ignores him.) Paul, you head up to Medford, I’ll
ride through Cambridge, and William, you take the Roxbury-Brookline route.
DAWES: Right! We will get those dementors if it’s the last thing we do. Ha-ha! (Rides around on his broomstick.)
PAUL REVERE: And you are not Harry Potter!NARRATOR THREE: So, the three men were off for Lexington and
Concord to warn the people of the British soldiers’ approach. (SOUND EFFECT: “WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE” plays as PAUL REVERE, PRESCOTT, and DAWES ride around the stage.)
PAUL REVERE: The British are coming. The British are coming!PRESCOTT: The British troops are planning an attack at Concord!PAUL REVERE: We need all Minutemen to report!DAWES: Dumbledore believes in me!PAUL REVERE/PRESCOTT/DAWES: The British are coming! The
British are coming! (EXIT DOWN LEFT. MUSIC OUT. CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER ENTERS LEFT, followed by COLONISTS, carrying wooden dowels as weapons.)
CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER: This is where the British soldiers are planning to attack. We will be ready! Up here. (Signals to the COLONISTS, who jump behind the boxes and hunker down. SOUND EFFECT: MYSTERIOUS MUSIC plays. BRITISH SOLDIERS ENTER RIGHT stealthily, with their dowel guns at the ready. They cautiously spread across the stage, keeping their backs to the COLONISTS. MUSIC FADES OUT. There are a few beats of silence.) Fire! (COLONISTS pop up and fire their weapons, some shouting “Bang,” others doing their best impressions of blasters from “Star Wars” or other funny sounds. BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE, TWO, and THREE go down.)
BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: (Dances around happily.) You missed me! You missed me!
COLONIST FOUR: Bang!BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: (Drops his dowel and grabs his chest,
stumbling around.) You got me. (Weaker.) You got me. (Drops to his
knees.) You… got… me. (Falls dramatically. The COLONISTS and CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER celebrate, then drag the BRITISH SOLDIERS OFF LEFT.)
NARRATOR THREE: Different battles between the British and the colonists continued on and off for eight long years.
NARRATOR TWO: During the winter months, the cold weather and snow made it impossible to fight. (Throws a handful of white confetti.)
NARRATOR ONE: (Sarcastic, to NARRATOR TWO.) Nice special effects, champ. (To the AUDIENCE.) So the troops would have to wait until the spring thaw to start fighting again.
GERTRUDE: (ENTERS RIGHT and FLOYD ENTERS LEFT. Both wear heavy coats, gloves, and scarves. FLOYD straddles a broomstick.) Floyd, is that you? (Hugs him.)
FLOYD: Gertrude. You look so cold.GERTRUDE: The winters are very harsh.FLOYD: I have good news. I have become a Loyalist.GERTRUDE: A Loyalist? (Excited.) Oh, my darling, you have become a
Loyalist. I am so proud of you. I have but one question, my love.FLOYD: Yes?GERTRUDE: What’s a Loyalist?NARRATOR ONE: (To the AUDIENCE.) A Loyalist was a colonist who—FLOYD: (To NARRATOR ONE.) I got this.NARRATOR ONE: Sorry.FLOYD: (To GERTRUDE.) A Loyalist is a colonist who doesn’t want to
be separated from the British Empire.KING GEORGE: (Pops ON DOWN LEFT and gives a thumbs-up.) I like
Loyalists! They’re my friends. (Pops OUT LEFT.)FLOYD: I think separating ourselves from the king is a big mistake.GERTRUDE: That means we are on the same team now. Are you sure
you’re not just telling me this to get on my good side? (BRITISH SOLDIER THREE ENTERS LEFT, dragging in a broken mop.)
FLOYD: Watch, I’ll prove it. (To the SOLDIER.) Excuse me, sir. (Points OFF RIGHT.) There are some Minutemen hiding over there, so you’d better go that way. (Hands him his pouch.) Here’s some beef jerky for food and an extra horse you can ride since yours broke… I mean, died. (Hands him the broomstick.)
BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: I really appreciate it. (Straddles the broomstick.) Ya! Ya! (Gallops OFF RIGHT.)
GERTRUDE: It is true. Oh, Floyd! (They embrace.)NARRATOR ONE: Okay, that’s enough mush.
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PATRICK HENRY: We shall form our very own fighting groups.WASHINGTON: And call them militias.ALL: Militias! (ALL cheer in celebration and run OFF RIGHT. FLOYD
ENTERS LEFT, wearing a clock on a chain around his neck.)GERTRUDE: (ENTERS RIGHT and crosses to meet FLOYD at CENTER.)
Oh, Floyd, I miss you so. Why are you dressed like that?FLOYD: I am what we colonists call… (Strikes a hero’s pose.)
…a Minuteman.GERTRUDE: What’s a Minuteman?FLOYD: We are soldiers that must be ready to fight in a minute’s notice.GERTRUDE: Forget all this nonsense. Let’s run off together and
be married.FLOYD: Gertrude, I love you, but I must do what I must do. My country
needs me.GERTRUDE: (Angry.) I should let the British beat you in Concord for
saying that.FLOYD: The British are heading to Concord?GERTRUDE: Yes. They are planning to arrest rebel leaders and destroy
the weapons you have stored there.FLOYD: (Turns to leave.) We must head to Concord to do away with
some British soldiers.GERTRUDE: But when will I see you again?FLOYD: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a—GERTRUDE: Stop! Wrong story. Wrong war.FLOYD: Sorry. Goodbye, my love. Until we meet again. (Marches OFF
LEFT, singing.) Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony… (He’s OUT.)
GERTRUDE: Byeeee. (Runs OFF RIGHT, crying.)NARRATOR ONE: That night, around seven hundred British soldiers
prepared to march toward Concord, Massachusetts. (PAUL REVERE ENTERS RIGHT straddling a mop. SAMUEL PRESCOTT and WILLIAM DAWES ENTER LEFT and meet PAUL REVERE at CENTER. PRESCOTT also straddles a mop, DAWES a broomstick.)
NARRATOR TWO: Three colonists—Paul Revere, William Dawes, and Samuel Prescott—met in secret.
PAUL REVERE: (To DAWES.) Will, the British are planning an attack at Concord.
DAWES: (To PRESCOTT.) Hey, Sam, the British are planning an attack at Concord.
GERTRUDE: Fine, just move on to the Battle of Bunker Hill, see if I care. (Takes FLOYD’S hand, and they skip OFF LEFT.)
NARRATOR ONE: (Shouts after them.) Thanks for giving away the next scene! (Turns to the AUDIENCE, embarrassed, and clears his throat.) We now move on to the Battle of Bunker Hill. (NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Battle of Bunker Hill” on the easel.)
End of Scene Four
Scene FiveThe Battle of Bunker Hill
NARRATOR TWO: The British army was trapped in Boston.BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (Runs ON LEFT.) Oh, no! We are trapped in
Boston! (Runs OFF RIGHT.)NARRATOR TWO: See?NARRATOR THREE: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you British
General Thomas Gage. (SOUND EFFECT: APPLAUSE.)GAGE: (ENTERS LEFT, followed by BRITISH SOLDIER TWO. Bows at
CENTER. Sticks his finger in the air.) I have decided to take control of the hills around Boston!
BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (Excited.) I get it. That way, the colonists can’t shoot down at us from the hilltops.
GAGE: (Holds up a BINGO card.) Bingo! (COLONISTS ENTER LEFT with dowels and form a huddle.)
NARRATOR ONE: But colonial militia got wind of this plan.COLONIST ONE: I hear they are planning an attack on Bunker Hill.COLONIST TWO: In that case, we will go and protect Breed’s Hill.COLONIST THREE: He said they are planning an attack on Bunker Hill.COLONIST TWO: Read the history books, the attack took place on
Breed’s Hill.COLONIST FOUR: Then why has history named it the “Battle of Bunker
Hill?” (COLONISTS look at the AUDIENCE in silence and shrug.)COLONIST ONE: Anyway, we will be ready for these Redcoats.
(COLONISTS put their hands in the center of the huddle.) One for all and all for one! (COLONISTS throw their hands in the air.) Break!
COLONIST TWO: I think that’s the Three Musketeers.COLONIST THREE: Oh, be quiet!NARRATOR THREE: On June 17… (Madly, additional BRITISH
SOLDIERS ENTER from all sides with dowels and other odd items to represent weapons. [NOTE: If EXTRAS are used in this scene, BRITISH SOLDIERS should outnumber the COLONISTS.] ALL run around chaotically, bumping into each other. BRITISH SOLDIERS
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ERVING: We are closing the Boston Harbor until the destroyed tea is paid for.
KING GEORGE: (Turns to the COLONIES and shouts through his hands like a megaphone.) And we are placing your Massachusetts colony under British Army rule!
MASSACHUSETTS: (Drops to his/her knees.) Nooo!KING GEORGE: That’s what you get for messing with King George!
(Dials another number.) Ring, ring. (ERVING EXITS RIGHT.)SAMUEL ADAMS: (Runs ON LEFT with a phone, followed by COLONISTS
THREE and FOUR. Answers his phone.) Hello?KING GEORGE: I am sending more soldiers over there to keep an eye
on things. Ta-ta! (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)SAMUEL ADAMS: Hello? Hello?! (Hangs up.) He makes me sooo mad!
This is an outrage!COLONIST THREE/FOUR: Outrage!SAMUEL ADAMS: These acts are intolerable.COLONIST THREE/FOUR: Intolerable!SAMUEL ADAMS: They are so intolerable, we shall call them the
Intolerable Acts. (Storms OFF LEFT, followed by COLONISTS. The COLONIES remain ONSTAGE.)
End of Scene Three
Scene FourBattles at Lexington and Concord
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Battles at Lexington and Concord” on the easel.NARRATOR TWO: The colonists decided to take action. Every colony
except Georgia sent men to Philadelphia.GEORGIA: (Shrugs.) Sorry! (EXITS RIGHT as the other COLONIES swing
their signs behind their backs and form an open huddle at CENTER.)NARRATOR ONE: It’s September 1774. Fifty-six men met in secret.NARRATOR THREE: These men included John Adams. (JOHN ADAMS
ENTERS LEFT and waves at the AUDIENCE before joining the huddle.)NARRATOR TWO: Patrick Henry. (PATRICK HENRY ENTERS RIGHT and
bows to the AUDIENCE before joining the huddle.)NARRATOR ONE: And George Washington. (SOUND EFFECT: APPLAUSE.
WASHINGTON ENTERS LEFT and waves like a beauty queen in a beauty contest.)
NARRATOR THREE: This was the very first meeting of the Continental Congress.
JOHN ADAMS: We will cut off trade with Britain!
finally end in a line STAGE RIGHT facing the COLONISTS in a line STAGE LEFT, weapons at the ready.) …British soldiers, ready to attack, ran up Breed’s Hill where colonists waited.
GAGE: Charge! (Leads BRITISH SOLDIERS, screaming, in a charge toward COLONISTS. COLONISTS fire their weapons, shouting “Bang, Boom, Bam, etc.” BRITISH SOLDIERS, still yelling, with GAGE at the lead, make a U-turn and run back to STAGE RIGHT.) Sorry, guys. Their gunfire scared me. Let’s try this again, shall we?
NARRATOR TWO: The British soldiers mustered up their courage and tried again.
GAGE: Charge! (Again leads BRITISH SOLDIERS, screaming, in a charge toward COLONISTS. COLONISTS fire their weapons, shouting “Bang, Boom, Bam, etc.” BRITISH SOLDIERS, still yelling, with GAGE at the lead, make a U-turn and run back to STAGE RIGHT. GAGE is breathing hard.) I promise… I won’t… be scared… next time.
NARRATOR ONE: They decided to try it one more time.GAGE: We’re trying this one more time.NARRATOR ONE: See? (BRITISH SOLDIERS and COLONISTS FREEZE.)COLONIST ONE: (UNFREEZES, checks his pouch, and taps COLONIST
TWO on the shoulder. COLONIST TWO UNFREEZES.) I have some good news and some bad news.
COLONIST TWO: What’s the good news?COLONIST ONE: I really like your socks.COLONIST TWO: Thanks. What’s the bad news?COLONIST ONE: We’re out of ammunition.COLONIST TWO: Oh, great, and here come the Redcoats again.
Everyone… (COLONISTS UNFREEZE.) …play dead. (COLONISTS quickly lie down on the ground, pretending to be dead.)
NARRATOR TWO: (Approaches.) Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is all wrong. The militia never played dead.
COLONIST TWO: Darn it. All right, guys, you heard the lady. (COLONISTS moan and groan as they stand. BRITISH SOLDIERS UNFREEZE.)
GAGE: One, two, three, charge! (BRITISH SOLDIERS, screaming, charge the COLONISTS. COLONISTS put their fingers in their ears and shut their eyes.)
BRITISH SOLDIERS: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! (COLONISTS drop quickly to the floor.)
NARRATOR ONE: As you can see, the British won the battle at Breed’s Hill.
NARRATOR TWO/NARRATOR THREE: Bunker Hill.
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PAUL REVERE: (Shouts.) Hey, Georgia, we dumped tea into the Boston Harbor to teach Britain a lesson.
GEORGIA: Awesome!PAUL REVERE: Hey, Penny, we dumped tea into the Boston Harbor to
teach Britain a lesson.PENNSYLVANIA: Nice.PAUL REVERE: Hey, New York…NARRATOR TWO: And on he went until all the colonies caught wind of
what had happened in Boston.NARRATOR ONE: Some of the colonies were pleased with the news.NEW YORK: Rock on!NEW JERSEY: Cool!CONNECTICUT: That will show Britain!MARYLAND: Wish I could have been there!NARRATOR THREE: But others not so much.SOUTH CAROLINA: Destroying property?VIRGINIA: That’s plum criminal!NORTH CAROLINA: This marks the end of law and order.NARRATOR THREE: And the rest of the colonies didn’t get any lines
in this play.DELAWARE: What?RHODE ISLAND: No fair.NEW HAMPSHIRE: What the heck?MASSACHUSETTS: (Sarcastic.) Hey, Paul, nice horse. (The COLONIES
laugh as PAUL REVERE rides OFF RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: Now, Britain was really seeing red.KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his phone.) Ooooooh! I am
really seeing red now. (Dials.) Erving!ERVING: (Runs ON RIGHT, talking on the phone and carrying a
handmade megaphone.) Right here, sir.KING GEORGE: I need for you to relay a message to the rebels. Tell
them that they shall be punished. They are no longer allowed to hold town meetings. (Pause.) Well, what are you waiting for? Tell them!
ERVING: Oh. (Turns to the COLONIES and shouts through the megaphone.) Hey, colonies! You are no longer allowed to hold town meetings!
KING GEORGE: We are closing the Boston Harbor until the destroyed tea is paid for.
NARRATOR ONE: Bunker Hill, even though it took place at Breed’s Hill.NARRATOR THREE: About 150 colonists lost their lives at this battle.NARRATOR TWO: And more than two hundred British soldiers
were killed.GAGE: Oh. (Signals to his men. BRITISH SOLDIERS drop quickly to
the ground.)End of Scene Five
Scene SixThe Revolutionary War
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Revolutionary War” on the easel.COLONIST THREE: (Stands.) We should end this conflict quickly
before things get out of hand. (ALL get to their feet, murmuring agreement.) We have signed an olive branch petition and will send it to King George to read and consider. (Holds up a piece of paper.) Who wants to deliver this petition to the king?
COLONIST FOUR: I will! (Runs OFF RIGHT and immediately RE-ENTERS, stepping into an inner tube.) I will! (Takes the paper and “swims” DOWN LEFT.) Splash, splash, splash. (KING GEORGE ENTERS DOWN LEFT.) You King George?
KING GEORGE: I am.COLONIST FOUR: Telegram. (Hands him the paper.)NARRATOR TWO: Telegrams were like text messages…NARRATOR ONE: …just a whole lot slower.KING GEORGE: It’s about time they give me some more lines in this
play. (Reads.) Dearest King… (To himself.) Ahhhh, that’s sweet. (Reads.) Please stop fighting the colonies over here. Instead, listen to what we have to say. (Skims the rest. COLONIST FOUR gets bored and starts waving to the AUDIENCE and showing off his inner tube. To COLONIST FOUR.) What?! Why this is nothing more than open rebellion against Britain. This means war! (COLONIST FOUR is still distracted, waving to the AUDIENCE. KING GEORGE gets his attention.) Well? Go tell them this is war!
COLONIST FOUR: What, no tip?KING GEORGE: Go! (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)COLONIST FOUR: (Swims UP RIGHT.) Splash, splash, splash. Shark!
Shark! Shark!COLONIST ONE: Well, what did the old grumpy king have to say?KING GEORGE: (From OFF LEFT.) I heard that!
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GERTRUDE: (To the NARRATORS.) Would you be quiet? We’re trying to do a scene here. (To FLOYD.) I’ll go with you, my love.
FLOYD: No, I can’t risk you spilling the beans about what we’re up to.GERTRUDE: I would never rat on the man I love. Oh, Floyd, Floyd,
Floyd. Do be careful. And know I will be waiting for you when this whole diabolical plan is over.
FLOYD: I would kiss you now, but this play is G-rated.GERTRUDE: In that case… (Extends her hand to be kissed, but FLOYD
grabs and shakes it.)FLOYD: Go now, and don’t say a word. (GERTRUDE runs OFF RIGHT
as SAMUEL ADAMS runs ON LEFT, followed by the COLONISTS. They all wear headbands with feathers, have red stripes on their faces, and carry wooden dowels. FLOYD joins them. They all strike a pose and FREEZE.)
NARRATOR TWO: The Sons of Liberty took their positions.NARRATOR THREE: The docks in the Boston Harbor were dark and
quiet on the night of December 16, 1773.NARRATOR ONE: Samuel Adams led his group of some sixty men
to board three ships that night and, well, see for yourselves what happened. (SOUND EFFECT: MYSTERY MUSIC plays underneath the following slow-motion pantomime. The COLONISTS silently shush each other and jump on top of the boxes UPSTAGE. They row with their dowels, until SAMUEL ADAMS directs the COLONISTS to board the ships by jumping behind the boxes. They reach down and take small boxes labeled “tea” and throw them over the edge of the boat. They celebrate by high-fiving one another and throwing their fists into the air. MUSIC FADES OUT and COLONISTS, SAMUEL ADAMS, and FLOYD EXIT LEFT.)
NARRATOR TWO: These Sons of Liberty were proud of their accomplishment and wanted all the colonies to know what they had done. (COLONIES ENTER RIGHT wearing signs with the name of their colony written on it. They form a line UPSTAGE.)
NARRATOR ONE: And because the Internet hadn’t been invented yet, they sent trusty Paul Revere out on his horse to spread the news. (PAUL REVERE ENTERS LEFT on a tricycle or skateboard.) I said, he went out on his horse!
PAUL REVERE: (Stops. Disappointed.) Aww! (A COLONIST ENTERS LEFT and hands him a mop. PAUL REVERE straddles the mop, and the COLONIST takes the tricycle or skateboard OFF LEFT.)
NARRATOR TWO: And off he went, proclaiming the news of what they had done in the Boston Harbor!
COLONIST FOUR: He said… (Clears his throat and imitates KING GEORGE.) …this means war!
NARRATOR TWO: Okay, everybody, clear the stage. (BRITISH SOLDIERS and GAGE EXIT LEFT. COLONISTS EXIT RIGHT.) Back in the colonies on July 4, 1776, Congress approved the Declaration of Independence.
NARRATOR ONE: Copies of this new declaration were made and delivered to all the colonies so everyone would know exactly what it said.
NEWSBOY: (ENTERS LEFT, holding up a newspaper.) Extra, extra, read all about it! Declaration of Independence has been adopted by Congress! Extra, extra, read all about it! The colonies are breaking away from British control and becoming the United States of America! Extra! Extra! (EXITS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR TWO: By late August of 1776, under the leadership of General George Washington, American soldiers called Patriots were ready to fight in this revolution.
NARRATOR ONE: On August 27, one of the earliest battles of the Revolutionary War occurred on Long Island, New York.
NARRATOR THREE: Approximately ten thousand Patriots from the colonies faced twenty thousand British soldiers.
NARRATOR TWO: The Patriots were badly beaten.NARRATOR ONE: Not long after, other battles were lost by the Patriots.NARRATOR THREE: By that October, the British army controlled
New York.BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: (ENTERS LEFT and shouting OFF LEFT.) Guys,
did you hear that? We control New York! Let’s ride into the city and catch a Broadway show for free! (BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE, TWO, and THREE cheer as they ENTER LEFT. WASHINGTON and COLONISTS ONE and TWO ENTER RIGHT. They spot each other. BRITISH SOLDIERS yell as they chase the COLONISTS back OFF RIGHT.)
NARRATOR TWO: The British army drove General Washington and his men across the Hudson River.
End of Scene Six
Scene SevenCrossing the Delaware
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Crossing the Delaware” on the easel. FLOYD and GERTRUDE ENTER LEFT.FLOYD: Gertrude!GERTRUDE: I’m so glad you are on Britain’s side, now.
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Scene ThreeThe Boston Tea Party
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Boston Tea Party” on the easel. KING GEORGE ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his cell phone. MS. T. LEEF ENTERS RIGHT with a phone.KING GEORGE: (On the phone.) Ring, ring.MS. T. LEEF: (Answers.) Hello, East India Company, this is Ms. T.
Leef speaking.KING GEORGE: Ms. T. Leef? George. How are things?MS. T. LEEF: (Friendly.) George, it’s been a long time. What can I do
you for?KING GEORGE: Look, I know you’re struggling, and I also know you
have a lot of tea on your hands…MS. T. LEEF: Get to the point, George.KING GEORGE: I will tell the American colonists that they must buy
their tea from you. It’s a win-win. Those fussy Americans get cheaper tea, you earn money, and I get to tax it all.
MS. T. LEEF: Oh, Georgie! It’s a deal. Bye! (EXITS RIGHT.)KING GEORGE: Sweeeeeet! (Laughs an evil laugh as he EXITS
DOWN LEFT.)NARRATOR ONE: So, the deal was done. (COLONISTS ONE, TWO, and
THREE ENTER LEFT.)NARRATOR TWO: But the American colonists didn’t like this plan
at all.COLONIST ONE: (Approaches NARRATOR TWO.) Look, it’s the principle
of the thing.COLONIST TWO: (Approaches NARRATOR ONE.) If the British Parliament
controls who sells us tea, who’s to say they won’t start demanding that we buy other things from whomever they say.
COLONIST THREE: It’s just not fair! (COLONISTS EXIT LEFT. GERTRUDE ENTERS RIGHT. FLOYD ENTERS LEFT, wearing a feather in a band around his head with red stripes painted on his face and carrying a wooden dowel. They meet CENTER.)
GERTRUDE: Oh, Floyd, I have missed you so, but why are you dressed like a Mohawk Indian?
FLOYD: Shhhh! Not so loud. We Sons of Liberty are on a secret mission.NARRATOR THREE: The Sons of Liberty was a secret society…NARRATOR TWO: …organized by the American colonists…NARRATOR ONE: …to protect their rights against things like unfair
taxation by the British government.
FLOYD: Well… about that. I decided I don’t want to be a Loyalist anymore, so I sort of don’t want the British to win the war.
GERTRUDE: One thing I love about you is your fickleness.FLOYD: But my devotion to you has never once wavered.GERTRUDE: Kiss me.FLOYD: Can’t. Play. G-rated.GERTRUDE: Drat.FLOYD: These are indeed gloomy days for the Patriots.GERTRUDE: British troops have pushed the Patriots across New
Jersey and into Pennsylvania.FLOYD: Hold on, I’m getting a call. (Finds and answers his cell
phone.) Hello? Wow. Thanks for the call. (To GERTRUDE.) General Washington has decided to cross the Delaware River out of Pennsylvania and attack a bunch of Hessian soldiers in Trenton, New Jersey who are fighting for Britain.
GERTRUDE: Washington crossing the Delaware. That makes me want to sing a song while the scene is acted out behind me. (As she sings, COLONIST ONE ENTERS RIGHT, pulling a little red wagon. WASHINGTON is in the wagon, iconically posing, with COLONISTS TWO, THREE, and FOUR walking on either side of the wagon “rowing” with their dowels. The wagon is slowly pulled across the stage. FLOYD smiles fakely throughout. GERTRUDE sings to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.”)
Row, row, row that boatAcross the Delaware.General George and all his menFinally made it there.Once they reached the water’s edge,The Hessians they surprised.These Hessians sure were caught off guard,The surrender flag did rise… I mean raise… (WASHINGTON and the COLONISTS EXIT LEFT. GERTRUDE turns to FLOYD. Speaks.) Well, what did you think of my song?
FLOYD: (Still smiling.) It was… just awful.GERTRUDE: (Offended.) Well, I never. (Slaps him and storms OFF LEFT.)FLOYD: Wait, does this mean we’re breaking up? Hello? (Runs OFF
LEFT. COLONISTS ENTER UP LEFT with Doritos, a light saber, and a Nike shoe.)
NARRATOR TWO: On January 3, 1777, the Patriots defeated the British army at Princeton, New Jersey.
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BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: By the what?!COLONIST THREE: The fire! FIRE!BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: Okay. BANG! (A COLONIST yells “Ouch!”
and falls.)BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: BANG!COLONIST FOUR: (Falls.) You got me!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: BANG!COLONIST TWO: (Falls.) I’m comin’ to join you, ’Lizabeth!COLONIST ONE: (Puts his hands on his hips.) Now look what you did!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Someone yelled, “Fire!”COLONIST THREE: (Turns and yells OFF LEFT.) Samuel Adams?!SAMUEL ADAMS: (Runs IN RIGHT.) Yeah?COLONIST THREE: (Whines.) The Redcoats are shooting at us.SAMUEL ADAMS: It’s a bloody massacre! (Pulls out a cell phone
and dials.)KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT. His phone RINGS, and he
answers it.) Chelloooo?SAMUEL ADAMS: Samuel Adams here calling from Boston. Did you
see what your precious soldiers did over here?KING GEORGE: You’re three thousand miles away… hold on. (Takes a
pair of binoculars and looks through them.) Oh, my, that is a mess.SAMUEL ADAMS: What do you plan to do about it?KING GEORGE: I’ll tell you what. We will do away with all the taxes in
the Townshend Acts.NARRATOR ONE: The Townshend Acts taxed the colonists on tea,
lead, paper, paint, and glass.KING GEORGE: Except for the tea tax. We’ll just keep that little tax to
remind you who is still in control. Ta-ta. (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)COLONIST ONE: What did… (Sarcastic.) …His Majesty have to say?SAMUEL ADAMS: He said he will do away with all the taxes except
the tea tax.COLONIST FOUR: (Revives and jumps to his feet.) He can’t do that!COLONIST TWO: (Revives.) We love our tea!COLONIST ONE: (Points a finger at the BRITISH SOLDIERS.) We’ll get
you for this! (BRITISH SOLDIERS and GERTRUDE laugh and EXIT RIGHT. COLONISTS, FLOYD, and SAMUEL ADAMS mutter angrily as they EXIT LEFT.)
End of Scene Two
NARRATOR ONE: They finally had needed supplies such as food—COLONIST ONE: (Holds up a bag.) I have the Doritos!NARRATOR THREE: Weapons—COLONIST TWO: (Holds up a light saber.) I have the light sabers!NARRATOR TWO: And shoes—COLONIST THREE: (Holds up a shoe.) I have the Nikes!NARRATOR ONE: But most importantly they had hope.HOPE: (ENTERS RIGHT and strikes a pose.) Hey, boys.COLONIST FOUR: Hey look, guys. It’s Hope! (COLONISTS rush to her
and escort her OFF LEFT.)End of Scene Seven
Scene EightSaratoga: The Turning Point
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Saratoga: The Turning Point” on the easel.NARRATOR THREE: And now comes the turning point of the war.
Drum roll, please.NARRATOR ONE: We don’t have a drum, just go.NARRATOR THREE: In June of 1777, British General John Burgoyne
led thousands of soldiers from Canada into New York.BURGOYNE: (ENTERS RIGHT.) That’s me! She’s talking about me.NARRATOR TWO: Be quiet and just act out the scene.BURGOYNE: (Makes the “okay” sign.) Okey-dokey.NARRATOR ONE: General Burgoyne called up his old buddy, General
Howe, who was fighting his way to Philadelphia.BURGOYNE: (Pulls out a cell phone and calls.) Ring, ring.HOWE: (ENTERS LEFT, talking on a cell phone and carrying a
dowel.) Hello?BURGOYNE: What’s up, Howe?HOWE: Burgoyne! Hello, old chap. Yes, I’m fighting my way to Philadelphia.NARRATOR ONE: See?BURGOYNE: Listen, we need to work together and kick some Patriot
booty. I got about eight thousand guys here ready to go.HOWE: Okay, I’ll meet you at Saratoga. Look, I’ve got to get off the
phone. I’m in the middle of a battle here. (“Shoots” OFF LEFT.) Bang, bang! Hey, I got you! Fall down! (EXITS LEFT.)
BURGOYNE: (Shouts OFF RIGHT.) Okay, boys, let’s go to Saratoga! (BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE and TWO ENTER RIGHT, pulling a red wagon
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FLOYD: Oh, Gertrude! (They embrace.) Wait, I hear someone coming.COLONIST ONE: (UNFREEZES.) What’s going on over here?FLOYD: Uh, just giving this Redcoat a piece of my mind. (To GERTRUDE.)
Away with you, you Lobsterback. (Winks at her behind COLONIST ONE’S back.)
COLONIST ONE: Come on, there’s about to be a snowball fight, and I don’t want to miss it. (Runs over and REFREEZES with the rest.)
FLOYD: Oh, Gertrude!GERTRUDE: Oh, Floyd! (They embrace.) Text me later.FLOYD: Goodbye. (Rejoins the COLONISTS and FREEZES. GERTRUDE
rejoins the BRITISH SOLDIERS and FREEZES. After a beat, everyone UNFREEZES.)
COLONIST THREE: We are sick of being treated like children.COLONIST TWO: Go back to your king and take him this. (Throws the
paper wad at BRITISH SOLDIER TWO.)BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: Now look what you did! I’d have you know
this coat is dry clean only. (Holds up a wooden dowel as though it were a rifle.)
COLONIST FOUR: In that case, have another one. (Throws another paper wad.)
NARRATOR ONE: It wasn’t long before the crowd turned into an angry mob.
NARRATOR TWO: The colonists began to throw all sorts of things at the British officers.
NARRATOR THREE: Anything they could find.COLONIST ONE: (Throws a rubber duck from his pouch.) Take that!COLONIST THREE: (Throws a teddy bear from his pouch.) Take
that! (COLONISTS continue to throw miscellaneous items from their pouches.)
NARRATOR ONE: The mob became more and more rowdy.COLONISTS: Redcoats, go home! Redcoats, go home!BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (Holds up the dowel.) Don’t make me use
this fake gun!COLONISTS: Redcoats, go home! Redcoats, go home!NARRATOR TWO: In the midst of the confusion, one of the
colonists yelled—COLONIST THREE: Come on, everybody, let’s go home and sit by
the fire!BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: What did you say?COLONIST THREE: Let’s go sit by the fire.
with BRITISH SOLDIERS THREE and FOUR riding inside. ALL have their wooden dowels. There are black and white flags in the wagon.)
BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Coming, sir.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: Wait a minute, look. (Points to the UPSTAGE
side of the wagon.)BURGOYNE: What’s the matter?BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: Flat tire.BURGOYNE: (Sarcastic.) Oh, great, now it will take us forever to get to
Saratoga. All right, somebody grab a jack, and let’s get this wagon moving! (BRITISH SOLDIERS mime changing a tire.)
NARRATOR THREE: Because it took so long for them to reach their destination, the Patriots had time to rally up more troops and face the British army with great power. (WASHINGTON, FLOYD, and other COLONISTS ENTER LEFT with their wooden dowels.)
COLONIST ONE: (Points.) Look, we have more soldiers than they do for once! (COLONISTS laugh.)
BURGOYNE: That’s not fair! We had wagon trouble.COLONIST ONE: Haven’t you heard? All’s fair in love and war. Let’s get
them, men!BURGOYNE: (Throws up a hand.) Wait! (COLONISTS FREEZE as he dials
his phone.)HOWE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his cell phone.) Hello?BURGOYNE: Where are you? You were supposed to meet us here.HOWE: Oh, dear. Sorry, old boy. We decided to go to Burger King instead.BURGOYNE: Some friend you turned out to be. (Hangs up. HOWE
EXITS LEFT.) Okay, guys, let’s get this over with.NARRATOR TWO: So, the Patriot soldiers and British soldiers fought.COLONISTS: (In unison.) Bang! (In unison, the BRITISH SOLDIERS fall
to the ground.)NARRATOR ONE: On October 17, 1777, General Burgoyne surrendered.BURGOYNE: (Raises the black flag from the wagon.) We surrender!NARRATOR ONE: Wrong flag.BURGOYNE: Sorry. (Throws it down, raises the white flag, and waves it
around.) We surrender! We surrender! (To the BRITISH SOLDIERS.) Get up. Let’s go.
BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: But we’re dead.BURGOYNE: Seriously? (To the AUDIENCE.) I’m so sorry. Could you do us
a favor and close your eyes for just a second? That’s it. (To BRITISH SOLDIERS.) Okay, they can’t see. Let’s go. (BRITISH SOLDIERS EXIT RIGHT and the COLONISTS, FLOYD, and WASHINGTON EXIT
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NARRATOR TWO: …and started singing.COLONIST ONE: (Sings.) Yankee Doodle went to town…COLONIST TWO: (Sings.) …riding on a pony.COLONIST THREE: (Sings.) Stuck a feather in his cap…COLONIST FOUR: (Sings.) …and called it macaroni! (ALL laugh
and applaud.)BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (ENTERS RIGHT holding a wooden dowel.)
There, there! What’s all this noise?COLONIST ONE: Just having a little fun.BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Oh, yeah? Well, the king sent us Lobsterba—
I mean, us Redcoa— I mean, us British soldiers over here to keep the peace.
BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (Runs ON RIGHT, followed by GERTRUDE and BRITISH SOLDIERS THREE and FOUR. ALL are carrying wooden dowels.) And that’s exactly what we demand. Peace!
COLONIST TWO: (Holds up a large paper wad.) Stop acting like you own us, or I’ll throw this snowball at you.
BRITISH SOLDIER THREE: That’s a wadded up piece of paper.COLONIST TWO: This is a low-budget play, so it’s a snowball.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: Don’t you dare throw that snowball at me!COLONIST FOUR: Throw it!COLONIST THREE: Throw it!COLONISTS: Throw the snowball! (COLONIST TWO draws his arm back,
then ALL FREEZE.)NARRATOR THREE: (Steps CENTER.) Before we continue this scene,
we would like to direct your attention to—NARRATOR TWO: (Rushes to NARRATOR THREE.) What are you doing?NARRATOR THREE: Introducing the love story.NARRATOR ONE: (Approaches.) Love story? (GERTRUDE and FLOYD
UNFREEZE and meet CENTER.)NARRATOR THREE: All famous real life historical stories have their
own fictional tale of love. The Civil War has Scarlett and Rhett, the sinking of the Titanic has Rose and Jack, and our story has Floyd and Gertrude. (NARRATORS return to their place DOWN RIGHT.)
FLOYD: (Melodramatic.) Oh, Gertrude, our love can never survive, for you are a British soldier, and I am an American colonist.
GERTRUDE: (Also melodramatic.) But, Floyd, I love you so.FLOYD: We must love one another in secret.GERTRUDE: Oh, Floyd!
LEFT. Crosses RIGHT, mutters to himself.) Sheesh. Some people. It’s not like the audience doesn’t know how to suspend disbelief or anything. I mean, really. They’ve been doing it the whole play. (EXITS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR THREE: The British defeat at Saratoga was the turning point that changed the entire outcome of the war.
End of Scene Eight
Scene NineFrance Fights with the Patriots
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “France Fights with the Patriots” on the easel.NARRATOR ONE: News of the Patriot’s victory at Saratoga reached
Paris, France. (BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ENTERS RIGHT with a FRENCH SOLDIER.)
KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT and looks through his binoculars.) Who is Benjamin Franklin talking to? A Frenchman? It’s a good thing I can read lips.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: (To the FRENCH SOLDIER.) I would consider it a great favor if you would help our Patriot soldiers in this war.
FRENCH SOLDIER: (In a bad French accent.) Oui, oui. France realizes now that you Americans might just beat the British after all.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: So, you will help us?FRENCH SOLDIER: Oui, oui, but of course.BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Splendid. Come. We will spend the afternoon
flying a kite.FRENCH SOLDIER: Oui, oui.BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Yes, we get it. You’re French. (EXITS RIGHT
followed by the FRENCH SOLDIER.)KING GEORGE: (To himself.) Just as I thought, Franklin has convinced
the French to get involved. We are dead ducks now. (As he EXITS LEFT.) Where’s my Alka-Seltzer?
NARRATOR TWO: The winter of 1777 and ’78 was a harsh and cold one.NARRATOR ONE: General Washington and his men tried to stay as
warm as possible around fires at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania.NARRATOR THREE: They lived in tents full of holes.NARRATOR TWO: Clothes and shoes were in short supply.NARRATOR ONE: Food was scarce.NARRATOR THREE: Diseases spread quickly among the soldiers.NARRATOR TWO: Many died from illnesses such as typhoid, influenza,
and smallpox.
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KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with a cell phone. SOUND EFFECT: RIDICULOUS RINGTONE.) Chello?
ERVING: Sir, they say they won’t play by our rules.KING GEORGE: This is an outrage! Let me talk to one of them.ERVING: He wants to talk to you.COLONIST ONE: (Takes the phone.) Yeah?KING GEORGE: Listen, you rebel. How do you expect the British Empire
to grow more rich and powerful if you don’t cooperate?COLONIST ONE: Look, Georgie. First, you brought about the
Stamp Act.COLONIST TWO: (Grabs the phone.) Then you brought about the
Townshend Acts.COLONIST THREE: (Grabs the phone.) We are tired of being taxed just
so you can get richer and richer.COLONIST FOUR: (Grabs the phone.) Yeah!KING GEORGE: (Angry.) Let me talk to Erving.COLONIST FOUR: (Hands ERVING the phone.) Here.ERVING: Sir?KING GEORGE: You get those rebel colonists under control or else!
(EXITS DOWN LEFT.)ERVING: Yes sir. We will, sir. Whatever you say, sir. (To COLONIST ONE.)
What’s wrong with paying taxes?COLONIST ONE: Nothing’s wrong with paying taxes as long as we get
a say in how that money is spent.COLONIST TWO: What Britain is doing is called taxation without
representation, and it’s wrong.COLONIST THREE: Wrong!COLONIST FOUR: Wrongy dong, dong!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: You colonists are impossible! Let’s go, boys.
(BRITISH SOLDIERS and ERVING EXIT UP RIGHT, staring down COLONISTS, who remain ONSTAGE, as they pass.)
End of Scene One
Scene TwoThe Boston Massacre
FLOYD ENTERS RIGHT and joins the COLONISTS as they cross CENTER. NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “The Boston Massacre” on the easel.NARRATOR ONE: One cold, winter’s day, a crowd of colonists gathered
in a street in Boston, Massachusetts…
NARRATOR ONE: However, that cold winter was also a time when the American army practiced their fighting tactics and, as a result, became an even stronger fighting force.
NARRATOR THREE: The war began to move to south.NARRATOR TWO: Spain also stepped in to help the American army
out. (FRENCH SOLDIER ENTERS RIGHT with SPANIARD. They have their arms around each other’s shoulders like old friends.)
KING GEORGE: (ENTERS DOWN LEFT with his binoculars.) Now what is going on? Why, that’s a Frenchman speaking to a Spaniard. Has the world gone mad?
FRENCH SOLDIER: You are my good friend.SPANIARD: And you are my good friend.FRENCH SOLDIER: Then you will help out our American amigos?SPANIARD: Si. We will loan the Patriots money as well as close
the port at New Orleans to Great Britain and open it to the American ships.
FRENCH SOLDIER: Come, we shall go celebrate this by flying a kite. (Shouts OFF RIGHT.) Hey, Ben, you got an extra kite? (EXITS RIGHT with the SPANIARD.)
KING GEORGE: Now Spain has stepped in. No matter, we shall remain strong in the southern colonies.
NARRATOR TWO: And they did remain strong.KING GEORGE: All right!NARRATOR TWO: But not for long.KING GEORGE: Darn it! (EXITS DOWN LEFT.)NARRATOR TWO: The moment of truth had come.
End of Scene Nine
Scene TenSurrender at Yorktown
NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Surrender at Yorktown” on the easel.NARRATOR ONE: In order to win the war, both armies needed a
victory. (GENERAL CORNWALLIS and JAMES ARMISTEAD, who is dressed as a modern-day spy in a trench coat, fedora, and sunglasses, ENTER LEFT.)
NARRATOR TWO: General Cornwallis led British soldiers into Yorktown, Virginia.
CORNWALLIS: (Puts his arm around ARMISTEAD.) My dear friend, James Armistead, don’t tell anyone, but we are stopping here in
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COLONIST ONE: I would rather be a rebel than a bully.KING GEORGE: Well, I never! It looks as if I am going to have to send
some of my best soldiers over there to keep an eye on you colonist rebels! (Calls OFF LEFT.) Oh, Erving?
ERVING: (ENTERS LEFT.) You called, Your Majesty?KING GEORGE: I need you and some of your buddies to go to the
thirteen colonies and keep an eye on them.ERVING: (Whines like a child.) But that’s over three thousand miles
away. Even more in kilometers!KING GEORGE: Stop your insufferable whining and do as I ask!ERVING: (Bows his head.) Yes, sir. (EXITS LEFT.)KING GEORGE: (Shouts at COLONIST ONE.) Did you hear that, you
rebel? My soldiers are coming over there! (EXITS LEFT.)COLONIST ONE: Bring it on! (EXITS RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: So, thousands of British officers headed to
the colonies. (ERVING and BRITISH SOLDIERS ONE, TWO, and THREE ENTER LEFT wearing inner tubes around their waists and “swim” RIGHT.)
COLONIST ONE: (ENTERS RIGHT with COLONISTS TWO, THREE, and FOUR and puts up his hand.) Stop, you British soldiers!
COLONIST TWO: We forbid you to cross this line. (Draws a line with his foot.)
ERVING: Can’t you see that we outnumber you? (Quickly counts his men, then turns and shouts OFF LEFT.) Hey! (BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR ENTERS LEFT wearing an inner tube, “swims” over, and joins them. To COLONISTS.) Can’t you see that we outnumber you? Now, behave yourselves and no one will get hurt.
COLONIST ONE: You Redcoats need to leave us alone.BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: We’re here to keep an eye on you.COLONIST TWO: We’re doing just fine without you.COLONIST THREE/COLONIST FOUR: Yeah!NARRATOR ONE: Things were starting to heat up between the
colonists and the British soldiers.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: You must play by British rules.COLONIST ONE: (Crosses arms.) We won’t play by your rules.COLONIST TWO: (Crosses arms.) We won’t!COLONIST THREE/COLONIST FOUR: (Cross their arms.) Won’t!BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (To ERVING.) Better call the boss. (ERVING
sighs, pulls out a cell phone, and dials.)
Yorktown, Virginia, and waiting for British ships to bring us many needed supplies. But remember, mum’s the word.
ARMISTEAD: Mum’s the word. (Tiptoes STAGE RIGHT as CORNWALLIS EXITS LEFT. LAFAYETTE ENTERS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR TWO: But James Armistead, as you can see by the way he’s dressed, was a spy and delivered this secret plan to a Patriot leader, the Marquis de Lafayette.
ARMISTEAD: (Stands shoulder to shoulder to LAFAYETTE, facing the AUDIENCE.) Psst. Don’t look at me!
LAFAYETTE: (Looks straight out.) You got any information?ARMISTEAD: The British are waiting for supplies from New York.LAFAYETTE: Oh, really? I will notify the French navy of this information
at once. Anything else?ARMISTEAD: The fish at Tenth Street Market is fresh today.LAFAYETTE: Great job, Armistead.ARMISTEAD: Shhh, my spy name is Fred Flintstone.LAFAYETTE: Thanks, Fred.ARMISTEAD: Don’t mention it. (They perform a secret handshake,
LAFAYETTE EXITS LEFT, and ARMISTEAD EXITS RIGHT.)NARRATOR THREE: Suddenly, French warships were on their way to
America and found their way to the Virginia coast. (LAFAYETTE ENTERS LEFT, pulling a red wagon with the FRENCH SOLDIER inside surrounded by balloons.)
NARRATOR ONE: British warships sailed down the coast from New York. (BRITISH SOLDIER ONE ENTERS RIGHT, pulling a wagon with BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR inside surrounded by balloons.)
NARRATOR TWO: The Battle of the Chesapeake was the definitive navy battle of the war.
LAFAYETTE: Prepare yourselves for the deafening sounds of our cannons. (FRENCH SOLDIER pops a balloon.)
BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR: Oh, yeah? Well, prepare yourself for the sounds of our cannons. (Pops a larger balloon.)
FRENCH SOLDIER: Take that. (Pops several balloons with LAFAYETTE.)BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: Take that! (Pops several balloons with BRITISH
SOLDIER FOUR.)NARRATOR ONE: Both sides fought hard as balloons were popped—I
mean, cannons were fired—night and day.NARRATOR THREE: But the British navy was defeated. (BRITISH
SOLDIERS bow their heads.)BRITISH SOLDIER ONE: (Pulls his wagon OFF RIGHT from behind.)
Beep, beep, beep.
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THE ENTIRE AMERICAN REVOLUTION(IN 40 MINUTES OR LESS!)
Scene OneTaxation Without Representation
LIGHTS UP. NARRATORS ENTER RIGHT and take their places DOWN RIGHT, where they will remain for the show.NARRATOR ONE: Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present the
entire American Revolution…NARRATOR TWO: In forty minutes or less. (KING GEORGE ENTERS LEFT.)NARRATOR THREE: Over in Britain, King George wanted to control the
American colonists. (COLONIST ONE ENTERS RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: But the colonists wanted their independence, so
they went to war.NARRATOR TWO: The colonists won and formed the United States
of America.NARRATOR THREE: The end. (NARRATORS applaud.)KING GEORGE: (Out of character.) Wait, we can’t act that fast.COLONIST ONE: Yeah, slow it down!NARRATOR TWO: Sorry, we’re a little hungry and trying to make it to
Steak ’n’ Shake before the crowds.KING GEORGE: Let’s try this again, shall we? (EXITS LEFT.)COLONIST ONE: Geesh! (EXITS RIGHT.)NARRATOR ONE: (Turns to the AUDIENCE and takes a breath.) Fine.
We begin our story with George the Third, King of Britain, taxing the American colonists. (NARRATOR THREE flips to a sign that reads “Taxation Without Representation” on the easel.)
NARRATOR TWO: It was the 1760s, and King George… (KING GEORGE ENTERS LEFT with his shoulders back and head held high.) …desired to maintain control of the American colonies. (COLONIST ONE ENTERS RIGHT.)
NARRATOR THREE: They had broken from Britain some time ago and were acting like their own country…
NARRATOR ONE: …even though they technically still belonged to Britain.KING GEORGE: (In character, speaks with a bad, exaggerated British
accent. To the AUDIENCE.) Those colonists are nothing but rebels. But if they try to rebel against moi, they shall surely be punished.
COLONIST ONE: (Shouts.) Hey, King George!KING GEORGE: What do you want?COLONIST ONE: Do you know what you are? You’re a tyrant!KING GEORGE: And you, sir, are a rebel.
LAFAYETTE: (Pulls his wagon OFF LEFT from behind.) Beep, beep, beep.NARRATOR TWO: In the meantime, Patriot and French troops marched
south from New Jersey together and surrounded the British troops.NARRATOR ONE: For eleven days both sides fought nonstop.
(WASHINGTON ENTERS LEFT.)NARRATOR THREE: Cornwallis, the British General, gave up and sent
a runner to surrender to Washington.BRITISH SOLDIER TWO: (ENTERS RIGHT with a white flag and runs to
WASHINGTON.) Excuse me, sir, but General Cornwallis asked me to give you this. (Hands him the flag and runs OFF RIGHT. COLONISTS run ON LEFT, yelling and jumping and applauding and high-fiving one another as they surround WASHINGTON, who holds the surrender flag up in the air.)
NARRATOR TWO: Quiet! (COLONISTS and WASHINGTON FREEZE.) In Paris, France, the Treaty of Paris that ended the American Revolutionary War was officially signed in 1783. The colonies were on their journey at last to become their own country, the United States of America.
NARRATORS: The end.KING GEORGE: (Runs ON LEFT.) Boooo!NARRATOR ONE: (To KING GEORGE.) Get out of here! (KING GEORGE
runs OFF LEFT. NARRATOR ONE looks at his watch.) Well, we succeeded by telling the story of the American Revolution in forty minutes or less.
NARRATOR THREE: (Looks at his watch.) _______ minutes to be exact. (NARRATORS high-five one another. [NOTE: If time is over 40 minutes, NARRATOR THREE can add in the line, “Close enough!” before they high-five each other.])
NARRATOR TWO: And now it’s off to Steak ‘n’ Shake!NARRATOR ONE: Goodnight, folks!NARRATOR THREE: You’ve been a great audience! (NARRATORS EXIT
RIGHT. NARRATOR THREE RE-ENTERS quickly, remembering to flip to the last sign that reads “A Lovers’ Spat” on the easel. COLONISTS remain FROZEN.)
End of Scene Ten
Scene ElevenA Lovers’ Spat
FLOYD: (Runs ON RIGHT as GERTRUDE runs ON LEFT.) Gertrude, did you hear? The war is over.
GERTRUDE: And we can finally be married and get on with our lives together.
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SETThe stage is mostly bare. A few wooden boxes sit UPSTAGE and are used to represent anything from hilltops to ships. An easel with eleven signs sits DOWN RIGHT. Additional pieces, like a British and an American flag, can be used, but are not necessary.
FLOYD: Yes, right here in the brand new United States of America.GERTRUDE: You mean back in Britain.FLOYD: (Crosses his arms.) I’m not moving back to Britain.GERTRUDE: (Crosses her arms.) And I’m not staying here.FLOYD: We’re not even married yet, and you’re already trying to
change me.GERTRUDE: I don’t think you love me at all. (Turns and walks OFF LEFT.)FLOYD: Don’t turn your back on me while I am talking to you. (Follows
her.) Come back here, Gertrude! Did you hear me?! (EXITS LEFT. SOUND EFFECT: “WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE” plays as the COLONISTS UNFREEZE and celebrate. Bows.)
END OF PLAY
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BRITISH SOLDIERS ERVING............................nerdy soldier and assistant to King
George 11 BRITISH SOLDIER ONE......sent over to keep an eye on 12
the colonists BRITISH SOLDIER TWO .....another 8 BRITISH SOLDIER THREE ..another 6 BRITISH SOLDIER FOUR ....another 5 GERTRUDE ......................British soldier who is in love 33
with Floyd GENERAL GAGE ................British general who takes control 7
of the hills around Boston GENERAL BURGOYNE .......slow-moving British general 15 GENERAL HOWE ...............British general who fails to help 5
General Burgoyne GENERAL CORNWALLIS.....British general who surrenders 1
to the colonistsTHE COLONIES ....................personified thirteen colonies GEORGIA ..................................................................................2 PENNSYLVANIA ..........................................................................1 NEW YORK ................................................................................1 NEW JERSEY .............................................................................1 SOUTH CAROLINA .....................................................................1 NORTH CAROLINA .....................................................................1 DELAWARE ................................................................................1 RHODE ISLAND .........................................................................1 CONNECTICUT...........................................................................1 MARYLAND ...............................................................................1 NEW HAMPSHIRE ......................................................................1 MASSACHUSETTS .....................................................................2 VIRGINIA ...................................................................................1OPTIONAL EXTRAS ...............as additional colonists and British
soldiers
For suggestions on double and triple casting, see PRODUCTION NOTES at the end of the script.
1. Taxation Without Representation2. The Boston Massacre3. The Boston Tea Party4. The Battles at Lexington and Concord5. The Battle of Bunker Hill6. The Revolutionary War7. Crossing the Delaware8. Saratoga: The Turning Point9. France Fights with the Patriots10. Surrender at Yorktown11. A Lovers’ Spat
PROPERTIES BROUGHT ONScene One:
Inner tubes (ERVING, BRITISH SOLDIERS)Cell phones (ERVING, KING GEORGE)
Scene Two:Wooden dowels (BRITISH SOLDIERS, GERTRUDE)Paper wads (COLONIST TWO, COLONIST FOUR)Rubber duck (COLONIST ONE)Teddy bear (COLONIST THREE)Other miscellaneous items to throw (COLONISTS)Cell phones (KING GEORGE, SAMUEL ADAMS)Binoculars (KING GEORGE)
Scene Three:Phone (MS. T. LEEF)Cell phone (KING GEORGE)Headbands with feathers, red face paint, wooden dowels (FLOYD,
SAMUEL ADAMS, COLONISTS)Signs with colony names (COLONIES)Tricycle or skateboard (REVERE)Mop (COLONIST)Handmade megaphone, cell phone (ERVING)
Scene Four:Clock on a chain, heavy coat, gloves, scarf, broomstick (FLOYD)Broomstick (WILLIAM)Mops (REVERE, PRESCOTT)
For preview only
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RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT
THE ENTIRE AMERICAN REVOLUTION(IN 40 MINUTES OR LESS!)
By EDDIE MCPHERSON
CAST OF CHARACTERS# of lines
NARRATOR ONE ..................narrator 51NARRATOR TWO ..................another 46NARRATOR THREE ...............another 34KING GEORGE III .................king of Britain 41MS. T. LEEF .........................works for the East India Company 4NEWSBOY ...........................sells newspapers 1HOPE .................................cute girl 1FRENCH SOLDIER ................helps the colonists win the war 7SPANIARD ...........................also helps the colonists 2JAMES ARMISTEAD .............double agent who feeds false 6
information to the BritishMARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE ......French general who fights for 6
the colonistsCOLONISTS COLONIST ONE ................American colonist 30 COLONIST TWO ................another 20 COLONIST THREE .............another 20 COLONIST FOUR ...............another 18 FLOYD .............................colonist who is in love 37
with Gertrude SAMUEL ADAMS...............spreads the word 9
about the Boston Massacre PAUL REVERE ...................helps to spread the word that 11
the British are coming JOHN ADAMS ...................member of the 1
Continental Congress PATRICK HENRY ...............another 1 GEORGE WASHINGTON .....leader of the American Patriots 1 WILLIAM DAWES ...............helps Paul Revere spread 6
the word SAMUEL PRESCOTT ..........also helps Paul Revere spread 4
the word CAPTAIN JOHN PARKER .....leader of the American militia 1 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ........negotiates an alliance with France 4
Scene Eight:Cell phone (BURGOYNE)Cell phone, wooden dowel (HOWE)Red wagon with black flag and white flag (BRITISH SOLDIERS)
Scene Nine:Binoculars (KING GEORGE)
Scene Ten:Red wagon with balloons (LAFAYETTE)Red wagon with balloons (BRITISH SOLDIER ONE)White flag (BRITISH SOLDIER TWO)
SOUND EFFECTSRidiculous ring tone, mystery music, applause, “William Tell Overture.”
COSTUME SUGGESTIONSAs mentioned above, the costumes are minimal. Also, no attempt should be made to fit the time or place of the action of the play to the time and place of the Revolution. For example, a modern day spy costume is worn by Armistead that would never have been worn in the 1700s. Below are suggestions to get your imagination rolling.
COLONISTS, including FLOYD, wear khaki shorts to the knees, white knee socks, black shoes, long sleeved white shirts, brown vests, and tricorne hats. Colonists all wear a pouch on a string to hold various brought on as props.
BRITISH SOLDIERS wear white or khaki shorts to the knees, white knee socks, black shoes, red T-shirts with white X’s on the chest, tricorne hats.
Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155.
All rights to this play—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given.
These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and all nations of the United Kingdom.
ONE SCRIPT PER CAST MEMBER MUST BE PURCHASED FOR PRODUCTION RIGHTS.
COPYING OR DISTRIBUTING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK WITHOUT PERMISSION IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW.
On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear:
1. The full name of the play2. The full name of the playwright3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with
Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Denver, Colorado”
NARRATORS wear neutral colors or all black. They each wear a watch.
KING GEORGE wears a robe and crown.
NEWSBOY could wear a flat cap.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN wears round spectacles.
FRENCH SOLDIER wears a mustache, beret, and red scarf.
SPANIARD wears a red cape and cordobés hat.
ARMISTEAD is dressed as a film noir spy in a trench coat, sunglasses, and fedora.
FLEXIBLE CASTING NOTEThe production can be done with a cast as small as 20. The majority of characters can easily be double or triple cast. A single actor can play more than one COLONY by swapping the signs, and the three narrator roles can be merged to become only two. The only characters that cannot play additional roles are NARRATORS, KING GEORGE III, FLOYD, and GERTRUDE.William Dawes, General Howe, New Hampshire, DelawareSamuel Adams, SpaniardErving, James Armistead, New York, New JerseyGeorge Washington, General Cornwallis, General GagePaul Revere, French SoldierBen Franklin, Patrick HenryBritish Soldier One, John AdamsBritish Soldier Two, South Carolina, North CarolinaBritish Soldier Three, General Burgoyne, Connecticut, MarylandBritish Soldier Four, NewsboyColonist One, Massachusetts, VirginiaColonist Two, Captain John ParkerColonist Three, Rhode Island, PennsylvaniaColonist Four, Ms. T. Leef, Hope, GeorgiaSamuel Prescott, Marquis de Lafayette
SCENE BREAKSScene breaks are specified for rehearsal purposes only. The play should move fluidly from one scene to the next. Characters remain onstage unless specified otherwise.
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