© Family Planning Victoria 2016
Forgive or forgetPurposeTo learn how to identify when boundaries have been crossed in a
relationship and develop strategies for managing and resolving conflict in
relationships with peers.
Teaching notesRemind students that they’re not to share personal stories, as the aim
is to look at general issues around friendships, relationships and ethical
behaviour rather than specific, real-life examples. You can leave a few
cards out of the activity, depending on students’ needs and maturity level.
Procedure1. Introduce the activity as being a way of talking about certain
behaviours that can happen during adolescence.
2. Clear a space on the floor and ask students to form a circle around it.
Place students into pairs.
3. Put the Forgive or forget situation labels titled, Challenge the person,
Forget the friendship, Forgive and Not sure on the floor, in the middle
of the space.
4. Let students know each pair will be given a card with a situation on it
and that they’ll need to decide which of these categories they think it
belongs under.
5. Give each pair of students a Forgive or forget situation card.
6. Ask them to put their card under their chosen category. This can be
done as a class, one card at a time, with an explanation as you go, or
after all the cards have been put down. Alternatively, this activity can
be done in small groups, followed by a class discussion. (Additional
cards would need to be printed).
7. Ask volunteers to share with the class why they chose to put their card
under the particular label.
Discussion A class discussion could include the following questions:
• Are there differences in what people think is forgivable?
• What impact might religion or culture have on this?
• What could a person do if they didn’t want to accept certain behaviour
from a friend or partner?
• What impact could drinking alcohol have on behaviour and is it an
excuse for bad behaviour?
• Why are some behaviours considered unacceptable?
• What other things happen during adolescence or at parties that are
either acceptable or unacceptable?
• Where or who can we go to for help, support or information about
relationships and abuse?
Activity: 7-8.9.2Key Messages
• We all deserve respect in a
friendship.
• We all have the right to say
when a friend has behaved
badly.
• We can develop strategies
to keep a friendship strong
and healthy.
Activity Details
Victorian Curriculum
Health & PE Investigate and select
strategies to promote
health, safety and
wellbeing VCHPEP126
Capabilities VCCCTM040
Time 30 minutes
Levels 7 & 8
Equipment • a set of Forgive or forget
cards
© Family Planning Victoria 2016
Forget the friendship
Challenge the person
Activity7-8.9.2
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Forgive
Not sure
Activity7-8.9.2
© Family Planning Victoria 2016
Your best friend flirts with your ex at a party and ends up
kissing them
Your friends won’t listen when you say you don’t want to
leave a party with a group to hang out at the park. When they go, you follow so you
won’t be left behind
Activity7-8.9.2
© Family Planning Victoria 2016
Your boyfriend/girlfriend forces you to drink at a party, even
though you said you didn’t want to
Your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t listen when you say
you only want to kiss. They go further than you want to, even
though you said no
Activity7-8.9.2
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Your friend tells you that you’re too fat to wear the new jeans
you have on
You find out your best friend has been telling everyone in your class that your parents
are getting a divorce
Activity7-8.9.2
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Your friends leave you at a party and you have to find
your own way home
Your older brother/sister tells your parents you were lying about being at your friend’s
place (you were at the skate park)
Activity7-8.9.2
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Your friend wants you to lie and say they are sleeping over at your house so they can stay at their boyfriend/
girlfriend’s place
You send a private text to your friend telling them about someone you like at school.
As a joke, they forward it on to that person.
Activity7-8.9.2
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Your friend teases you in public about someone you
have a crush on
Your girlfriend/boyfriend hooks up with someone while you’re
away, then says it was just kissing and meant nothing
Activity7-8.9.2
© Family Planning Victoria 2016
A friend borrows some clothes from you, then gets drunk and
vomits all over them at a party
You start doing a sexy dance at a party. A friend takes
photos of you and puts them on their Facebook page.
Activity7-8.9.2
© Family Planning Victoria 2016
A friend gets really drunk at a party and gives oral sex to a guy you know they don’t like
Your friend has been drinking at a party and flashes her
breasts at you. She asks you to take a photo of her on her phone and gets aggressive
until you do it. She then sends it to everyone in her address
book. The next day, she’s angry because you didn’t
stop her.
Activity7-8.9.2