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FORGIVENESS:From Myth to Reality

An eBook byScott Savage

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Copyright © 2016 Scott Savage

All rights reserved.

Portions of this book were originally posted at scottsavagelive.com and youngadults.lifeway.com.

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To the incredible people who make up North Phoenix Baptist Church.

I’ve found my voice within your walls.

To Taylor Sprague. You looked me in the eye, called out my bitterness with 100% love

and 0% shame. You walked with me as I forgave.

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Acknowledgements

Special thanks to Mike Bond for designing the book cover.

I’m also grateful to Christy Brosman, Dottie Kendig, and Auburn Vogt for their invaluable feedback on this book’s content.

You found errors and helped me present the best piece I could.

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CHAPTER ONE

Sowing and Reaping

I was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada. Vegas is an incredibly unique city.

My favorite thing to do in Las Vegas was people watch. All sorts of people come to Vegas from all over the world. The plane flight to Vegas is always the same - loud, boisterous, and alcohol-filled. I remember one flight home where I was sitting in front of a group of women headed to Vegas for a bachelorette party - they were wasted before we even began our final descent.

The plane flight out of Vegas, especially on a Sunday or Monday, is always the same too. It is much…quieter. People are hungover, depressed and spent.

I not only watched people on the Strip and in Las Vegas’ McCarran International Airport, I still enjoy people-watching everyday. As a pastor, I get a front row seat into the lives of hundreds of people within the church I help lead. I get the privilege of celebrating with people during the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I get to encourage people as they take steps that lead to life transformation and I get to mourn when people are blind to the destruction their choices create.

I’ve learned an important truth about farming from watching people and helping them grow spiritually. Now, I’m not a farmer nor the son of a farmer. But my dad is a pastor too, so you could say our family has spent a lot of time exploring what helps people grow. What I learned from people-watching is simple.

You reap what you sow.

You’ve probably used these words to describe what happened in the life of a family member or a friend. Analysts use it to describe the actions of an athlete and commentators use it to describe the rise and fall of a pop star.

These words originally appeared in one of the Apostle Paul’s letters. In the sixth chapter of his letter to a church in Northern Greece, an area known as Galatia, the Apostle Paul wrote, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Paul was making a large point about the long-term impact of the people’s present choices and lifestyle.

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If there is one area more than any other where I see this truth play out in the lives of people, it is in the area of forgiveness. I watch countless people reap heartbreaking, brutal and disastrous fruit because they sowed bitterness in their life. Bitterness is toxic and when it is cultivated over a long period of time, it warps a person and damages every relationship in their life.

I can remember the first time I dealt seriously with bitterness. I was in college and had taken a summer job as an assistant to our school’s executive team. The job included a large paycheck, lots of access and a significant amount of authority. After a few months in the position, the workload became too much to maintain while keeping my grades up. The day I shared my intent to resign with one of my bosses, I can remember how quickly I went from being highly favored to being the butt of jokes. I had sacrificed relationships, personal time and part of a family vacation for this position. Yet, when I chose to prioritize my studies, it was as if none of that had mattered one bit.

Needless to say, I became very embittered. My bitterness only grew as I learned of ways I had been intentionally deceived by one of my bosses. I didn’t hide my bitterness and it began to affect other relationships. Ultimately, one of my good friends pulled me aside one day and sat me down. He challenged me to forgive my former employers, not for their sake but for mine. He shared how he and other friends were witnessing bitterness change my personality and attitude, how I wasn’t hurting those who hurt me but innocent bystanders instead.

While it didn’t happen overnight, I began to deal with this bitterness and the fruit it was bearing in my life. Within a few months, I began to experience a change, even to the point where other people mentioned it was nice to have the Scott back that they once knew and loved.

In this ebook, I want to help you deal with bitterness and move you toward forgiveness. Overcoming bitterness and experiencing forgiveness are not quick nor simple processes. Reading a book about it is very different from doing the actual work. But I think working through this content can be catalyst for you to take big steps forward.

I have two goals in writing this ebook.

First, I want to expose and deconstruct some of the bad teaching I’ve encountered around these subjects. I’ve discovered ten myths people (including myself) believe about forgiveness. These myths hide the truth about forgiveness and prevent people from experiencing the real thing. In place of these myths, I want to introduce ten truths about forgiveness which can inform us as we move forward. This material is covered in chapters two and three.

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Second, I want to outline a few steps toward forgiveness. The length of this book prevents this from being an exhaustive study of forgiveness nor a complete list of all the steps necessary to forgive. Yet, these steps are ones I’ve taken and watched others engage with great benefit. They aren’t easy and they often need repeating. However, I want to make sure I don’t simply tell you what forgiveness is without guiding you forward to experience it yourself. This material is covered in chapter 4.

I’m praying for you as I type these words. I want you to discover the power of reaping and sowing, specifically when it comes to the state of your heart and your relationships. I want you to reap life - abundant life - the life Jesus described in John 10:10 where he said, “I came that they might have life - and have it abundantly.” Sowing forgiveness - not bitterness - is a huge step towards experiencing the purpose for which Jesus came to earth.

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CHAPTER TWO

Exposing Myths - Part One

I thought forgiveness was a safe topic for my small group to discuss. Boy, was I wrong!

While serving as the college minister at my church several years ago, I chose the content for our large group gathering. We had come to the end of the curriculum we were using. I found another series which included an extended discussion of forgiveness. I did not know what kind of engagement to expect from our students, but I know I was not prepared for their response!

Every person in the discussion group I was leading (all of whom had been relatively quiet over the previous few weeks) became "passionately engaged" in our conversation. Some of them were not happy with what they were hearing! One guy in particular was speechless when I described how God wanted us to let go of our desire to make things right, instead of getting even with or injuring those who had wounded us. It was like his brain got stuck, in the same way my MacBook computer does when it has a problem processing a command and starts displaying what I call the "spinning beach ball of death."

The amount of unforgiveness and bitterness I've found bubbling just under the surface of my students’ hearts and those of many other adults has been shocking! People who seem to be loving, gracious, and mature Christians turn into angry, frustrated, unmovable people when the subject of forgiveness surfaces in a discussion. In some ways, the subject of forgiveness feels like a bomb just waiting to go off. I once heard a talk about forgiveness entitled “F-bomb!” The title accurately described my experience. Bringing up forgiveness was like setting off a bomb!

Sadly, I've also encountered a ridiculous amount of bad teaching regarding forgiveness in the Church. I wonder, “Who taught you this nonsense about forgiveness? These things are simply not true!” The myths we believe about forgiveness are a stumbling block to our ability to experience its real power.

In this chapter, I want to examine 5 myths I've encountered and help illuminate the truth which sets us free.

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MYTH 1..The people in the Bible didn't need a lot of forgiveness.

TRUTH…The people in the Bible are as dysfunctional as we are!

Moses was a murderer, King David too. The Apostle Paul was a mass murderer and prosecutor of Christians. Jacob deceived his brother and father for selfish gain. The Corinthian church had a guy sleeping with his mom, rich people not leaving enough food for the poor at church potlucks and they fought over who was the best preacher. Yet, when we read the Bible, we have no problem with the idea of God redeeming and forgiving them. Our favorite Bible characters are often the people in need of profound forgiveness. In our lives today, when we encounter people who sin and hurt others, do we allow God space to work today like He did with Moses, David and Paul? Do we openly and readily admit our brokenness and our profound need for forgiveness? We - you, me, and all the knuckleheads Jesus called his “disciples - we all need a truckload of forgiveness.

MYTH 2…Forgiveness is about the other person.

TRUTH…Forgiveness is about you.

Anne Lammott is famously known for saying, "Refusing to forgive someone else is like drinking rat poison and expecting the rat to die." We often think that refusing to forgive someone "shows" the other person how bad their actions were. But does it really? We think staying bitter and refusing to forgive is a power play where we will hold them accountable. Yet, they move on with their life while we stay stuck. At the same time, we stay bitter at someone and experience the consequences.

We may be holding on to bitterness towards someone for playing with our heart in a dating relationship. We may be refusing to forgive a spiritual leader who betrayed our trust. We falsely believe that forgiveness is about how much they did to hurt us or whether they've done anything to rectify their actions. Truthfully, forgiveness is about wounded people moving on from an offense and discovering freedom themselves.

MYTH 3…If you forgive someone, you should forget it ever happened.

TRUTH…Forgiveness and forgetting are two VERY different things.

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Forgetting what happened is not always possible, nor wise. You cannot make yourself forget something, especially a deep wound. Our brains don’t operate like that. On your computer, you have a recycle bin, where you can drag files and delete them. Once you empty that recycle bin, unless you’re a computer genius, that file is gone forever. Our hearts and minds do not have a "recycle bin" like our computers, where we can simply drag and drop past hurts, wounds or disappointments, watching them disappear permanently.

Also, forgetting something like abuse or deceit can often lead to dangerous consequences for a victim. Forgetting what someone has done and continues to do without a break in a pattern of behavior only empowers and emboldens them to continue to take advantage of you. Forgiving is something we must do for our own health and well-being. Forgetting is something separate and different, something we can't always control.

MYTH 4…I can forgive someone else, while not forgiving myself for my own failures.

TRUTH..Our ability to give forgiveness is connected to the depth of forgiveness

we've received.

The Scriptures constantly reiterate one message about forgiveness - forgiven people can forgive. God forgives us in Jesus and enables us to forgive others.

There’s a parable Jesus tells, which is recorded in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 18 verses 21 through 35. In the parable, a man is forgiven of a massive sum (millions of dollars) by the king who loaned him the money. The man who is forgiven rejoices and leaves with thankfulness. However, he then goes out and has another man arrested because he owed him a very small sum (like a few hundred dollars). The king hears of this and calls the man back into his court and chastises him saying, “You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?” The parable ends with the man who refused to forgive, as he had been forgiven, being thrown in prison until he could pay off his debt.

Throughout the New Testament, we read other passages (Matthew 5:7, Ephesians 4:29-32, Colossians 3:12-14, Matthew 6:9-14), which all link God forgiving us with us forgiving others. Forgiving ourselves can be much harder than forgiving someone. We are often our worst critics, allowing the voice of shame and regret to dominate our inner monologue. If we want to experience the freedom that comes from forgiving someone else, we need to experience the forgiveness God wants to introduce into our lives. When we comprehend all we’ve been forgiven of ourselves, it becomes easier to give forgiveness away to others.

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MYTH 5…Forgiveness is a decision, an act of the will.

TRUTH…Forgiveness is a decision AND a process.

We cannot force ourselves to let go of something in a moment. Our hearts do not follow commands like the computer on which I'm typing this post. Richard Rohr wrote, “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living; we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” While we may have thoughts and decisive moments of letting go, it is in the processing of letting go again and again where we experience God changing our hearts.

This process is similar to how Paul described the ongoing work of our salvation in Philippians 2:12-13. He wrote, "Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." We make a decision and simultaneously God activates a process which transforms our hearts. Forgiveness is a choice, but it is one we must continually work out. It doesn’t always happen instantaneously in one moment, so we shouldn’t beat ourselves up when it slowly works out over time inside our hearts.

PAUSE AND REFLECT….Before we move on to the final five myths in the next chapter, stop and

process what you've read so far. Consider what myths you've accepted about forgiveness and how those might be holding you back from being transformed in the very place you were deeply wounded. I’ve included some questions below for you to ponder.

-Which people do you see in the Bible who need forgiveness from God? -Where have you gotten stuck because you haven’t been able to forgive?-What do you think about the idea of forgiving and forgetting being different

experiences? Where in your life has your memory of a wound made it difficult to forgive?

-Have you experienced God’s forgiveness fully? Is there some thing you still hold on to, believing God cannot forgive it?

-Which is harder for you - the decision to forgive or the ongoing process of forgiveness?

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CHAPTER THREE

Exposing Myths - Part Two

Before we continue with the final five myths, I want to remind you of the power of your beliefs. I believe far too many of us embrace bad teaching about forgiveness. Inaccurate beliefs prevent us from experiencing the power of true forgiveness, worsening the pain we've been processing. Before we can deal with what forgiveness practically looks like, we have to unlearn bad teaching and clarify what forgiveness is and isn’t.

Let’s look at the final five myths before we explore how we can put forgiveness into practice.

MYTH 6…Refusing to forgive shows I value accountability.

TRUTH…Refusing to forgive can mean you’re struggling to trust God to do the best

thing.

Pastor Craig Groeschel once said, “What you fear reveals where you trust God least.” I believe many of us struggle to forgive because we are struggling to trust God to do (what we believe to be) the right thing. Does that accurately describe you?

I’ve been working on writing a definition of forgiveness for years. So far, my best definition of forgiveness is "forgiveness is giving up my pursuit of revenge and trusting God to bring justice." Unforgiveness fuels our lust for revenge. But revenge doesn't overcome the evil we experienced. Revenge only enslaves us on a deeper level to the broken ways of this world where we insist on an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. “You hurt me, I’ll hurt you more.”

In fact, as a follower of Jesus, we’re called to lay down our "right" to revenge. When Jesus was hanging on the cross in Matthew 23:34, His words are recorded for our instruction. "Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing." How do we overcome evil? We forgive like Jesus forgave and we trust Him with the consequences.

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MYTH 7…Forgiveness and reconciliation are the same thing.

TRUTH…Forgiveness and reconciliation are very DIFFERENT things.

Ultimately, reconciliation is God's gift as everyone involved has forgiven themselves and forgiven others. Stop and read that sentence again. Reconciliation is a gift from God and it only happens after everyone involved has experienced forgiveness. None of us can move in the heart of another person to forgive. We cannot make someone else change.

The reconciliation process can take a very long time. But, we must understand something. Reconciliation will move you forward, not backward. You can't restore the past; you can only move forward. You won’t get back the relationship you had before the events which caused the breakdown. After trust was lost and that relationship fell apart, you’re not going to recreate what you once had. You can only create a brand-new relationship moving forward.

Reconciliation is often based upon evidence of life change. If we're honest, there are times when reconciliation doesn't always work out and shouldn’t, such as cases of abuse where someone is not safe. Unfortunately, some of you reading this have been encouraged by well-meaning (but naive) spiritual leaders to forgive and reconcile with someone who abused or assaulted you because they're "sorry" or "they've really changed." If this is you, I'm sorry, but it's just not that simple.

Being married to a lawyer who prosecuted domestic violence cases for the first five years of our marriage ruined me on this subject. I’m a huge advocate for getting out of a dangerous environment, then working on forgiveness while protecting innocent parties from danger. Some Christians live in fantasy land here and the results of such naive thinking have been pain and even death. I'm passionate about the distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation because the myth that one guarantees another often produces more pain and facilitates more abuse.

Reconciliation requires something from both people. What happens if one person never changes? Then reconciliation won’t happen. Maybe you are the person who was hurt and you cannot ever or should not ever trust the person who hurt you again. You could be the person who did the wrong and you desperately wish you could undo it, but you cannot. You believe you've changed, but the other person does not. These realities may be the new, permanent normal for the future. Forgiveness without reconciliation can be incredibly tough. However, it is the experience many of us will encounter.

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MYTH 8…I need to tell the person I forgave them.

TRUTH…It is not always necessary to tell the person you are forgiving.

One of the worst things you can do is unload on someone by sharing a wound from the distant past you’ve been stuffing. Please do not go to someone who hurt you and tell them, "I wanted you to know that you unknowingly hurt me years ago. I've been a wreck over it, for years actually. But don't worry! After thousands of dollars of counseling, months of prayer and 40 boxes of Kleenex, I’ve now forgiven you. Well, see ya later!"

If you're thinking of telling someone something like this, first ask yourself a question: “Why do you need to let them know they unknowingly wronged you?” Is it possible that this is one last attempt to get even? You can forgive someone without ever telling them because forgiveness is about your freedom, not theirs. If forgiveness is about you being free, then it doesn’t necessarily involve them. Forgiveness is first and foremost an issue between you and God.

MYTH 9…Forgiveness is something I can do on my own.

TRUTH…We often need help processing the pain and letting go.

The hardest things and the most important things in life are done in community. In his book, The Art of Work, Jeff Goins wrote, “Every story of success is a story of community.”

Maybe you've tried forgiving and you haven't made progress. The truth is this - if you were going to make it alone, you probably would've done so by now! It’s okay to ask for help.

Forgiveness is all about God opening our eyes, so we can discover our blind spots. I met someone recently who specializes in mediation. As I was asking about how he approaches this delicate process, he shared something interesting with me. His first goal in mediation is "to get everyone involved to pull the log out of their eye." His goal comes from Jesus' words in Matthew 7:1-4 where Jesus talks about how we're to remove the log from our eye before we help someone else remove the speck from theirs. Jesus reminds us that we all have blinders and we need help seeing what we overlook. It’s okay to be unable to do this on your own. If you need to invite someone in to walk with you while you do something hard, that’s okay. But make sure they’re the kind of person who holds you accountable to your goal, instead of just empowering you to stay where you are today.

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MYTH 10…I can follow a few simple steps to forgive someone.

TRUTH…Forgiveness is less about quick steps and more about a long obedience in

the same direction.

Eugene Peterson wrote a great book on discipleship entitled, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. The book's title echoes the kind of patience and fidelity following Jesus demands - the kind of patience and fidelity involved in forgiving someone who deeply hurt us.

So, how do we forgive? Well, it's not easy. It's not quick. And it's not the same for each of us. Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't lay it out step by step for us. But beginning to understand what forgiveness is and is not, and what reconciliation is and is not are two key steps in the right direction. Forgiveness is a decision and a process where God changes our hearts towards past events and a person. We have to walk in forgiveness on a daily basis.

If we’re honest with each other, each of us has wounded others and been deeply wounded ourselves. We've all needed forgiveness and needed to forgive someone else.

PAUSE AND REFLECT…Before we move on to some next steps, pause again and process what

you've read in this chapter. Consider what myths you've accepted about forgiveness and how those might be holding you back from experiencing the life-changing power of forgiveness. I’ve included some questions below to prompt you to reflect.

-Which of these 10 myths covered in the last two chapters have become mental barriers to the heart change God wants to work within you?

-What are you afraid will happen if you forgive that person? Why do you think is it hard for you to trust God with that possibility?

-Have you ever thought about forgiveness being separate from reconciliation? How does separating the two make them easier to process?

-Would it be easier if forgiveness was an experience between you and God first before it was ever something involving the offender? Why?

-What would it mean for you to invite a trusted friend into your life where they could help you move forward in this area, even by simply praying for you? Who might that person be?

-When have you gotten bogged down in the forgiveness process before now? What caused you to stop in the middle of the process?

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CHAPTER FOUR

Next Steps

When it comes to forgiveness, it’s one thing to talk or read about it. It’s an entirely different thing to actually do. I think we struggle to put forgiveness into practice because it’s messy and it looks different for each person. It’s not a factory-like process, which works as a cookie cutter of sorts for every person on planet earth.

While this is a short ebook and not intended to be an exhaustive exploration of forgiveness, I wanted to conclude by sharing some simple steps which I believe can help you make significant progress in forgiving someone who has hurt you.

Before I share these four steps, I want to give thanks for one shift which has occurred in my lifetime. I have seen (and others I know have observed) a shift in the evangelical Christian community when it comes to the subject of counseling or therapy. For many years, the Church stigmatized those who sought out counseling or therapy. It was treated as a “lack of faith” or a “sign of weakness.” While there are still some who disregard the value of counseling or therapy, their numbers have dwindled and a larger group has begun to accept these experiences as helpful or even worthy of consideration by all.

In sharing these steps here, I’m not attempting to replace counseling or therapy. I’m not in a position to determine for you whether that avenue is an appropriate one for you. But if you do choose to pursue counseling, given a good match, I think it could be very helpful for you. Processing your wounds and getting input on healthy practices from someone with experience and training could help you move forward in the future.

So, what are these steps I’ve been saving for the end? Well, the first one may surprise you.

Step 1 - Write a thank you note to God

In this first step, I encourage you to pull out some paper and write a thank you note to God. This note should include your sense of all God has forgiven you for and saved you from in your past. For some of you, this will feel very fresh as you’ve recently become a follower of Jesus. But for others, it will require

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you to go back further in the past to the time when you first encountered Jesus Christ.

I believe God has saved us all from something for something. We need to increasingly own our stories and grasp what we have been saved from, as we continue to discover what God has saved us for in the future. In writing this thank you note to God, make it a prayer of thanksgiving. Practice gratitude for the forgiveness and mercy He has extended to us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

After you’ve finished writing this thank you note, tuck it away somewhere safe. You’ll want to review and add to this in the future as you understand more and more about what God has saved you from and what He has saved you for.

Step 2 - Write a different kind of letter to the offender

The second thing you can do to begin forgiving someone who has wounded you is to write them a letter. The letter should be addressed to the person who hurt you. In the letter, you should write down each thing they did to hurt you and why it hurt you. This will not be easy and it likely will be painful. You might need to carve out some extended time and get by yourself to do this.

The reason for this letter is simple. Hurts which we have stuffed cannot be healed and wounds we have not owned cannot be forgiven. I would encourage you to write out this letter by hand instead of typing it. I think the physical process (with pen/pencil on paper) will be helpful, especially when I share what I want you to do with the letter.

Once you’ve finished writing the letter, I want you to go through the letter offense-by-offense and write (if possible, in another color) these words, “In the name of Jesus, I choose to forgive you.” You’re not forgiving them because you’re some awesome, generous person. (You may be, I don’t know!) You’re forgiving them because you’ve been forgiven in an incredible way by Jesus Christ. You’ve received His forgiveness and now you’re offering it to them.

After you have done this for each of the offenses, I want you to find a shredder. Shred the letter so there is no record of it anymore. Destroy the letter so you’re not tempted to go back and rehash these hurts continually. We shred the letter as a sign of the fact we are turning our attention to the future, in order to move forward.

Now, let’s be clear. You’re not done forgiving that person just because you wrote a letter, wrote “I forgive you” and shredded it. Remember, what we looked at in myth 5 - forgiveness is not simply a decision; it is a decision AND a process. But, once you write this letter, you’ve made the conscious choice to write the words “In the name of Jesus, I forgive you”.

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Now, you get to begin the process of walking out that choice every day.

Step 3 - Begin praying for the offender

The third step you can take is to pray for the person who hurt you. In his longest sermon, recorded in the Gospel of Matthew 5-7, Jesus said, “You have heard it said, ‘Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.’ But I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” It’s one thing to say “I forgive you” or write it in a letter. It’s something else entirely to begin praying for someone who hurt us, interceding before God on their behalf. Jesus doesn’t say what our prayers should include, but I think we must take Jesus’ words seriously in this place and begin praying for them.

I’ve practiced this discipline in my life and I have to warn you about it. You cannot pray for someone without your heart changing towards them. You cannot pray for someone and remain embittered and hard-hearted towards them. Prayer always changes us, and, when we pray for someone, God begins to shape our hearts towards them. He begins aligning our heart with His. If you’re struggling to forgive someone (maybe not with the decision part but the process part), prayer can be one way you surrender to God’s power, allowing Him to do in you what you’ve been struggling to do yourself.

Step 4 - Begin praying for good to happen in the life of the offender

I was talking with a friend this week about the contents of this chapter. When I got to this step, I think his exact words were, “Now you’ve crossed the line!” (And yes, he yelled it.)

I know it may sound crazy to think about praying for good to happen in the life of someone who has brought so much bad into your life. Why would you pray for someone to experience joy when they’ve been the source of your pain?

It sounds crazy because it’s not natural. The way of our flesh is “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” In Isaiah 55, we read these words. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” It shouldn’t surprise us when God’s ways don’t match the way our world would naturally do something.

It may take you a long time to get through to this step. It may take you time to be able to pray for your offender, much less pray for their good. But when you can begin praying for their good and longing for God to bless them, you will know that God has done a miracle in your heart. He’s enabled you to forgive.

Forgiveness is a miracle every time it happens. This is why our world is still

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mystified by acts of forgiveness. When someone has been violated or victimized in an egregious way, our culture - a culture that is not shocked by much anymore - stops and wonders aloud, “How can you forgive?”

Our heart’s passion as followers of Jesus is to be like Jesus. In fact, the word Christian was originally used as a derogatory term for believers in Antioch who looked and acted like the stories told about Jesus. The enemies of the church called them “Christians” (which meant “little Christs”).

I believe we are never more like Jesus than when we forgive. Forgiveness is an apologetic to a world dominated by wars, abuse, violence, ego, greed, divorce, ethnic cleansing, terrorism and cynicism.

Forgiving someone points back to the One who has forgiven us - Jesus. I believe these three words with all of my heart - forgiven people forgive. Because we have been shown great mercy, we have great mercy to draw on as we forgive others.

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CHAPTER FIVE

A Blessing

At our church, we often end our Sunday services with a blessing. It’s a way for the pastor who has brought the message to commission the people as they leave, sending them out in a posture of receiving the blessings of God.

This is my blessing for you today.

May you recognize how wide and deep and far and long God’s love is for you.

May you begin to understand how much God has forgiven you from and the abundant mercy He’s offered you because of Jesus’ death and resurrection.

May you lean into all you have available to you in Christ, to do what you once considered impossible.

May you sow seeds of forgiveness in your heart and in your relationships.

May God bear fruit from those seeds - fruit which is full of grace, hope and love.

To Him who is able to do abundantly more than all we can ask or imagine, may He accomplish this work in your heart. For your good and for His glory.

Amen.

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CHAPTER SIX

About the Author

You'll know Scott Savage has entered the building because his laugh (often a cackle) precedes his arrival. Scott lives in Phoenix, where he writes and serves as a teaching pastor at North Phoenix Baptist Church. Scott is married to Danalyn (a lawyer) and the father of 3 children, including a set of twins.

He blogs at scottsavagelive.com. You can also follow Scott on Twitter (@scottsavagelive).