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Friday 3rd April 2020

Hello again!

What an exciting week it’s been. I was just thinking about how much I

miss going to the cinema when I have just seen the best movie ever made

in the entire history of cinematography. ‘For our favourite Jedi’ made me

feel like I was trying to cut onions and swallow a hedghog at the same

time. I had a big lump in my throat and a huge tear in my eye. It was so

amazing and lovely that I’d quickly run out of adjectives trying to

describe it. Thanks to all of you and your adults for putting this together.

Special thanks to Eva’s mother! It’s also brilliant to see that you are all in

touch with each other. Everyone looks so happy. What creativity! What a

team!

And a few, special thanks to all the following children:

Nick – Glad you’re fine. Nice to see you’re still smiling.

Aros – You’re welcome and I am staying safe.

Ben – How did you get that cat to talk?

Arlo – “Superb”, what a superb adjective.

Judah – Does the Joe Wickes exercise involve pulling your sock off?

Sheree – I miss school too and can’t wait to go back.

Naliyah – Awesome hairstyle.

Emil – Excellent trident. Keep it away from your brother’s face.

Julia – Banana bread? Sounds like a winning combination.

Tiili-May – From your house you might still be able to hear the echo of

the bell.

Gino – Cool glasses. Book’s upside-down dude.

Sara – My son is reading Demon Dentist at the moment. Very funny,

especially as his grandad is one.

Isla – See if you can make some really exciting crystals. Like diamonds!

Maya – We’ll be back at school before you know it.

Brody – Good luck with the fire. Great skills!

Annie-Lou – What a brilliant idea for a project!

Jamie – Copy and paste this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99dI7TP_iME

Oskar – Tomatoes are disgusting? I think you mean mushy peas.

Nancy – I don’t have the virus but thanks for caring.

Barney – Don’t be sad about missing out on the Romans. We’re busy

putting together Roman things for after Easter.

Juliet – This nearly made me cry. Stay brave.

Millie – Maybe Minnie can visit the class when we all get back.

Ana Maria – What an imagination you have!

Stick Insects – Take care of Kayode, he’s a difficult pet to look after.

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Hamza – I hope that’s just a blob of vanilla ice-cream running down your

shoulder!

Aris – What a forehand!

Eva – You should share your movies with your friends, they sound exciting.

Arthur – The force is with us all.

As a thanks for your movie I’ve also attached a story I once wrote for

you to enjoy over Easter. It’s not really anything to do with Easter but it

does have the word ‘egg’ in there somewhere!

Happy Holidays!

Alan

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The Gibbon and the Sloth

By Alan Smith

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Chapter One. In parts of this world, parts that you may never be lucky enough to see, there are thick, green jungles where there are no buildings, roads, cars, fences, people, litter or pets. In parts of these thick, green jungles there are all sorts of creatures living amongst the trees, in the rivers, amongst the bushes, in the streams, amongst the flowers and in the ponds. Some of these creatures are creepy and some are crawly but this is nothing to be frightened of. It simply means that they either creep along or crawl along and you will find some of these creepy-crawlies very cuddly. Some creatures in the jungle are poisonous to eat and some are even poisonous to touch. Some creatures are actually very tasty if you can catch them and cook them over a campfire. Be careful though because some jungle creatures might even try to catch and eat you if you get too close to them. Some are extremely noisy. Some are very stinky. Some are really slimy. Some burrow underground. Some only come out at night. Some can fly right into your left ear. Some will lay their eggs in your poo! “But the best creature in the whole jungle,” said the Gibbon, “is the magnificent ape known as the Gibbon!” The Gibbon began to excitedly jump up and down as she sang from the top of a tall teak tree. I’m a wonderful, marvellous Gibbon! I swing through the trees and the vines, I sing whilst I swing, And the song that I sing, Is also a wonderful, marvellous thing! I’m a brilliant, fearless young Gibbon! I’m the quickest and bravest of all, I move as swift as the breeze, With the greatest of ease, I’m ill-mannered to whomever I please! I’m a cheeky and sneaky young Gibbon! I’ve no care for the creatures I meet, I seem so full of grace, All creatures think I am ace, But behind them I’ll pull a rude face! Yes I’m a wonderful, marvellous Gibbon! I’m fantastic in every respect, All you creatures bow down, I’m your king not your clown, What are you? You’re plain, ugly and brown?

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“Who, me?” replied the Sloth, “I’m a Sloth.” The Sloth had climbed up slowly and silently then sat beside the Gibbon to warm himself in the afternoon sun. He began to nibble on the leaves at the top of the tall teak tree. “Well I’m a Gibbon and the Gibbon is the fastest, loudest and craziest creature around. You, Sloth, are the slowest, quietest and laziest creature around. Look at me go. I’m terrific!” Immediately, the Gibbon stopped jumping up and down then quickly swung through the branches in a full circle around the Sloth’s head. When she came back to where she started, she leapt into the air and did an amazing somersault. As she landed, she looked the Sloth straight in the eyes, stuck out her tongue and made this noise by blowing hard. Listen: THHUUURRBLE-BBUUURRBLE-SSSHHLOOORRRCK! “If you could do all that in just one breath then maybe you could be as incredible as me,” shouted the Gibbon, “because that’s what I am. I’m incredible, simply incredible!” “Well,” observed the Sloth, “you are certainly incredibly full of beans. I don’t suppose you happen to have any beans do you?” he asked. “I’m getting tired of eating nothing but leaves every day. Very tired,” and the Sloth yawned three times in a row, “very tired indeed.” The Gibbon was bored to distraction by the time the Sloth had finished yawning and needed some excitement which, she decided, she was the more qualified of the two to supply. “If you were as fast and as clever as me,” she bawled as she bounced on the spot, “then you would get out of bed before the sun came up and then climb every tree you could see and then check them all for juicy lizards and then for ripe fruit and then for crunchy nuts and then eat them all up and then… and then… and… and…” and then the Gibbon had to stop talking altogether because her mind could not keep up with her mouth. Instead she just did astonishing back-flips over and over. And then over again. And then over and over again. “I have a song too,” suggested the Sloth, “if you would like to hear it?” “As long as it’s as astoundingly superb as my song,” the Gibbon bellowed as she back-flipped. “Well I like it. It’s very relaxing,” explained the Sloth. “It sends me to sleep every time.” “Relaxing?” yelled the Gibbon, “I don’t want to relax or to sleep!” It was too late because the Sloth had already started to sing in a soft, low, rumbling voice that shook the nearby ants off the branches (much to the delight of a passing anteater at the base of the tall teak tree).

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I’m a wonderful marvellous Sloth, I’m only awake for six hours at the most, I can hang from this teak, The best part of a week, And I’m falling asleep as... I... speak... And with that the Sloth was asleep. Fast asleep. Fast asleep and snoring. Fast asleep and snoring and hanging from a branch by the claws on his fingers and toes. The jungle fell silent for a moment except for the distant noise of a delighted anteater at the base of the tall teak tree licking its thin lips with its enormously long tongue. “Awhoooo! Awhoooo! Awhoooo!” screamed the Gibbon. “Wake up you ridiculous, sleeping creature!” But the Sloth did not wake up, despite the screaming. So the Gibbon screamed some more. Then she screamed some more and some more. And when the Sloth still wouldn’t wake up, do you know what the Gibbon did? She screamed some more of course. Then the Gibbon decided that perhaps actions would speak louder than words so she swung down onto the back of the hanging Sloth and tried to shake him awake. She also carried on screaming just for good measure but mostly because she truly liked to scream. Gibbons, as I’m sure you’ve guessed already, get bored in an instant and so it wasn’t very long at all until the Gibbon got bored of trying to wake the Sloth. Waking by shaking. Shaking and screaming. “Awhoooo! Awhoooo!” she hollered as she hung from the Sloth. “If you weren’t such a slow, sleepy creature you wouldn’t have to just eat leaves every day. You could be like me! You could eat anything you want to and then play ‘catch’ with everything else. You just have to get there first, that’s all.” And so with an almighty flourish and a twirl she leaped from the Sloth and disappeared into the canopy of leaves surrounding the tall teak tree. The Gibbon was off to find another creature to annoy.

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Do you know what she did whilst she was searching and swinging through the trees and the vines? She sang her wonderful marvellous song. She also pulled some surprisingly rude faces.

Chapter Two After a short while had passed it began to rain in the thick, green jungle. It rained down onto the trees, into the rivers, onto the bushes, into the streams, onto the flowers and into the ponds. It rained onto all the creatures that weren’t lucky enough to be crouching in caves, hiding in hollows, nesting in niches or bivouacking in branches. It rained on the Gibbon. It also rained on the Sloth. The Sloth didn’t mind the rain because as he slept, hanging from the branch by his claws, all the hairs on his body pointed downwards towards the ground so the water ran off him just as quickly as it landed. This was excellent news for the Sloth but not so good for the passing anteater who was now getting twice as wet at the base of the tall teak tree. Another reason the Sloth didn’t mind the rain was because nothing could wake the Sloth except for a huge, rumbling grumble of hunger from his stomach. Or… perhaps a direct hit by lightning… KABOOOOMO!

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The Gibbon didn’t mind the rain either because it made a tremendous noise as it splashed onto everything it touched. A great whooshing and roaring noise could be heard. Behind this collectively thunderous hum the Gibbon could make out all the individual cries of all the individual objects that the raindrops were violently arriving at. The leaves went ‘tlip’, the soil went ‘thlap’, the ponds went ‘splink’, the fur on her body went ‘flump’ and the ants went OUCH (because a raindrop is quite big and heavy compared to an ant). The spatter of rain in the afternoon sun caused sharp, silvery fingers of light to spiral into the Gibbon’s view. These danced so enchantingly before her that she almost slipped from her grasp on the shiny, wet branches. “Ha ha ha and hoo hoo hoo,” shrieked the Gibbon. “Nothing can make the mighty Gibbon lose her clutch on the branches, not even this medley of delights!” Her mind was so full of all the energy and wonders of the moment that she felt she simply had to get back to the Sloth to show him how utterly impressive the thick, green jungle was when it rained. She also wanted to remind the Sloth how energetic and wonderful it was to be a Gibbon compared to how boring and empty it was to be a Sloth. So the Gibbon headed off back to the tall teak tree. Do you know what she did as she swung through the trees and the vines? Well she certainly didn’t sing. She stayed perfectly silent! All of her concentration was focussed on creating a brand new rude face to pull at the Sloth (something she had been practicing in her imagination since the Sloth had fallen asleep). The Gibbon couldn’t wait to try out this new face but, as you know, Gibbons can never wait for anything. Not even for their minds to catch up with their mouths. And still it rained in the thick green jungle. And it rained on the birds in the sky. And it rained on all the birds that couldn’t fly. And it rained on their eggs. And it rained on the toads. And it rained on the snakes. And it rained on the butterflies. And it rained on some frogs. And the fish saw it raining but they weren’t complaining. And still it rained in the thick green jungle.

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And it rained on a Crocodile who was lying on the bank of the biggest river just waiting and waiting for food to come its way. The Crocodile didn’t mind the rain because it was scaly all over and totally waterproof. The warmth of the rain in the steamy jungle caused the Crocodile to stir then to sing. It sang through the rain, through the roar and the whoosh, through the tlips, thlaps and splinks: I’m a wonderful, marvellous Croc! I’ll eat anything crossing my path, I’ll eat creatures or plants, I’ll eat shirts, I’ll eat pants, I’ll eat cousins, uncles and aunts! I’m a scaly and waterproof Croc! I’ll eat anything moving or still, Be it large, stripy cats, Mouldy mice, rancid rats, Either dead or alive I’ll eat that! I’m a ravenous, terrible Croc! If I can see it I’ll always attack, I’ll munch rocks or a stone, Scoff a twin on their own, Find the other twin and chew every bone! Yes, I’m a wonderful, marvellous Croc! I’ve a hunger that won’t go away, If something passes near me, I’ll just eat it you see, Even crocs from my own family tree! Suddenly something caught the Crocodile’s eye so it launched itself into the river using its short, powerful legs. With a snap and a crack it bit right through an enormous log that was floating by and it ate it all up (including the splinters). However, this didn’t stop its hunger pangs one little bit so it swam back to the riverbank. It scooped up some mud into its mouth and gargled it a while before gulping it down its throat. “How appetising!” cheered the Crocodile. “Wait a moment, I mean how useless! Logs and mud are all very well because I can stomach anything that I can fit into my gaping, toothy food-hole but that didn’t satisfy my groaning belly in the slightest.” There was nobody listening because all the creatures in the thick, green jungle try their very best to stay out of the way of Crocodiles at all times. Crocodiles are aware of this so Crocodiles are relatively content to talk to themselves in this manner whilst they are just waiting and waiting for food to come their way. The Crocodile gently settled down again on the bank of the biggest river. One eye was wandering across the surface of the water and the other was glancing through

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the undergrowth. It had a wealth of patience, very good eyesight and was searching for the slightest sign of food. And still the Crocodile was hungry. Then it ate a bird that passed by, And it sucked its egg dry, And it bit a toads’ leg, And it chewed a butterfly, And it swallowed a snake, And it gobbled some frogs, And the fish saw it bite so they swam out of sight. And still the Crocodile was hungry. And the rain continued to tumble down from up above. All the rivers, all the streams and all the ponds swelled to bursting point then began to overflow and race towards each other in rolling, sludgy trails across the jungle floor. Soon the thick, green jungle would become one huge lake of water. All the trees, all the bushes and all the flowers would be standing in the soggy ground like hopping flamingos frozen in a lagoon. A flood was coming! So where would all the creatures on the ground who couldn’t swim go to? Upwards of course! “A flood is coming indeed” thought the crocodile when it realised that both its eyes were now being washed over by the murky river water and its back was being tickled by Lilly pads drifting in the current. The water level was rising fast and the crocodile was now completely underwater except for its stubby, sniffing snout which snorkelled above the surface. Floods happen often enough in the jungle for the Crocodile to realise what this meant for its poor, empty, moaning stomach. It would now have to go looking for food before all the creatures that couldn’t swim started climbing up whatever they could climb to get out of the damp and out of its reach. The crocodile gave up waiting for food and decide to go searching for it instead. With a swish of its jagged tail the crocodile swam off greedily through the swampy muddle of roots at the bottom of the thick, green jungle. As hungry as ever.

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Chapter Three

Meanwhile, the Gibbon was dangling from a vine by her long fingers and trying her best to catch raindrops on her tongue. She was very thirsty from all the singing, swinging and face-pulling but most of all she was thirsty from the whole excitement of the afternoon so far. “How exciting this afternoon has been so far,” commented the Gibbon as she swayed. “So much has happened to me today. Let’s see… I sang my wonderful, marvellous song and then I performed some incredible flips and then I screamed and then I yelled and then I howled awhoooo! awhoooo! and then I practised my faces and then I heard the music of the rain and then I saw the flood arising and then I felt the prickle of raindrops on my tongue and then I realised I was so much more excellent than the Sloth and then… and then… and… and…” and then the Gibbon had the same old problem. She had to stop talking altogether to wait for her mind to catch up with her mouth. So she hopped onto the nearest bough and began to spin around and around on one leg whilst kicking her other leg in the air. Faster and faster she spun. Higher and higher she kicked. Then suddenly her mind caught up with her mouth in an explosion of thoughts. BANG! CRASH! “Of course!” she howled, “I nearly forgot the Sloth! The Sloth!” And what of the Sloth? Well, let’s see shall we? The Sloth was still hanging by the claws on his fingers and toes from a branch at the top of the tall teak tree. He was beginning to wake from his deep sleep, not because of a lighting strike but because of the only other reason a Sloth will wake up. Do you remember what it could be? He was getting hungry. The Sloth opened his huge, calm, black eyes and he yawned three times in a row. “What is making that noise?” enquired the Sloth. He asked himself that question because his head was becoming filled with the most ear-piercingly atrocious sounds. This is the noise that he could hear something making (not too far away and approaching fast) through the canopy of leaves, listen: EYEIEEEEEEE! WAAAAAATTAAAAA! YIRROOOOO! The Sloth turned his head to see what was causing all the commotion heading his way. I’m sure you’ve realised by now that the noise was the Gibbon swinging through the trees and the vines and hollering as loud as her voice would allow. And Sloths being so slow to move meant that by the time he had turned his head in the right direction the Gibbon was already beside him. Pulling the most awfully insulting face.

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“What do you think of this face then?” barked the Gibbon. “Well,” explained the Sloth, “I’m not quite sure whether I’m still asleep and this is only a horrid nightmare or whether I have actually woken up simply to find that I’m having a most peculiar daydream. Either way I’m really not certain what I think. Maybe I ought to sleep on it. And perhaps I’ll be lucky enough to have a nice trouble-free dream about beans. Lovely beans.” “Sleep!” the Gibbon exclaimed, “all you do is sleep! If you were awake more of the time then you wouldn’t miss so much of the excitement to be had around here!” Then the Gibbon spotted the Anteater cowering far beneath her, balancing uncomfortably on a branch just above the level of the flood water. “I’ll bet that the Anteater would appreciate me far more than you do. I’ll go and show him my face and see what he thinks of it!” So the Gibbon dropped down branch by branch towards the base of the tall teak tree. With each drop she performed the most difficult dives and the most complicated carousels and the most wonderful whirls that she could manage. She eventually landed on a huge Lilly-pad floating alongside the branch where the poor Anteater was, desperately trying his very best not to fall off. “Good day to you Anteater,” the Gibbon shouted deafeningly from the Lilly-pad, almost frightening the poor Anteater out of his skin. “I’m a mind-boggling Gibbon and I’m going to show you something that I’m sure you are going to find dazzling! Just wait one moment and I’ll show you.” Then the Gibbon turned her back on the Anteater in order to prepare to pull her new face. And what do you think she saw coming towards her? The Crocodile! And the Crocodile was as hungry as ever! “A Crocodile! A Crocodile!” The Gibbon cried out at full volume. “A Crocodile is coming! He’s getting closer and then he’ll get even closer and then he’ll show me his terrible teeth and then he’ll open his massive mouth and then he’ll try to eat me and then I’ll be inside the Crocodile and then I won’t like that one bit and then… and then… and… and…” and then the Gibbon had to stop talking altogether because her mouth had once again raced ahead of her mind. So she grapsed her hands together and started to skip over her own arms! The Gibbon was still skipping over her arms on top of the Lilly-pad when the Sloth finally managed to turn his head downwards. He was just in time to see the Crocodile open his enormous, fearsome jaws and swallow the Gibbon whole! Whole! The Sloth blinked his large eyes three times in a row because he could not believe what he had just seen. The Anteater closed his blunt little eyes so he could not see the horrible scene.

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But the Gibbon’s mind had not yet caught up with her mouth and so she was still trying to skip over her own arms inside the Crocodile’s stomach. And as you can imagine there is not a lot of room for a Gibbon to skip over her own arms inside a Crocodile. Not a lot of room at all. And the Crocodile began to retch and whine in pain from all the commotion inside him. He felt sick to his core and his stomach churned and turned as the Gibbon writhed and wriggled within. The Crocodile coughed and he sneezed and he hiccupped and he twitched and he squirmed and he retched some more. He cramped and he curled. His eyes began to sting. His head began to pound and his bowels felt like they were going to blow-up. Then he opened his mouth as wide as he could because what was inside was now on its way out in a big hurry! And still the crocodile retched. And he burped up a bird, And he coughed up some egg shell, And he sneezed out a toad’s leg, And he belched up a butterfly. And he spat out a snake, And he regurgitated some frogs, And the fish saw him being sick so they swam away quick. And still the crocodile retched. But there was no sign of the Gibbon even though everything else had been emptied out from the Crocodile’s innards. The Gibbon was too frantic and fidgety for the Crocodile to bring her up. No matter how much the Crocodile rolled and retched he could not get the Gibbon to budge. The Sloth watched in amazement as the Crocodile splashed and thrashed around in the water below. Then from deep inside the Crocodile the Sloth could hear the Gibbon singing at the top of her voice: I’m a wonderful marvellous Gibbon! But I’m trapped in the guts of this Croc, If I scream and I shout, And I jostle about, Then he’ll just have to let me right out!

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I’m a clever and cunning young Gibbon! I’ve a plan that can’t possibly fail, If I cause him some pain, Then upset him again, I will soon be back outside in the rain! I’m a tricky and witty young Gibbon! It won’t be long until I’m free, If I tickle his liver, And I’ll make his spine shiver, It will cause him to shudder and quiver! Yes I’m a wonderful marvellous Gibbon! I will poke and I’ll push and I’ll prod, If I squeeze on his lung, And pull on his fat tongue, I should pop out like a beer-barrel bung! “I can’t take any more,” wailed the Crocodile, “please stop!” But the Gibbon continued to toss and turn inside. “Let me out then,” demanded the Gibbon, “and then I’ll stop hurting you.” “If you can stay still” explained the Crocodile, “then I can let you out.” But the Gibbon didn’t believe him. “I don’t believe you!” the Gibbon replied. The Gibbons voice came rattling out through the clenched teeth of the Crocodile’s mouth so it seemed to the Sloth that the Crocodile was arguing with himself. “If you don’t keep still then I can’t let you out,” moaned the Crocodile. “A Gibbon stay still?” shouted the Gibbon. “Never!” she cried, “Never! A gibbon will never stay still!” And the Gibbon wouldn’t stay still! So the Crocodile couldn’t let her out! And so the argument continued. The Crocodile could not stay afloat any longer with all the hustle and bustle in his belly. The Sloth watched as he began to sink beneath the surface of the water and swim awkwardly away. Still, it seemed, arguing to himself under the water. Then the afternoon rain decided to stop pouring down onto the thick green jungle and the floodwater started to drain away as though an enormous bath plug had been pulled out from the ground. All the trees and all the bushes and all the flowers gradually began to drip themselves dry. All the rivers and all the streams and all the ponds gradually began to shrink back to their normal, safe sizes. All the creatures that had climbed upwards gradually began to climb back downwards again.

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The Sloth was in no hurry to climb anywhere though, neither up nor down. He had just spotted some fresh new leaves nearby that had escaped his attention during all the incredible activities going on below him. “I’ve seen a lot of strange things this afternoon,” he thought to himself. “Now then, they look like lovely fresh leaves,” he thought, after remembering that he was hungry, “and I must remember where they are. Anyway, I’m sure they’ll still be there after I have a little snooze.” And with that the Sloth was asleep. Fast asleep again. Fast asleep and dreaming. And as he hung from a branch by the claws on his fingers and toes the jungle around him became loud with all the songs of all the creatures returning to whatever it was they were happily doing before they got so rudely interrupted by the rain. A beautiful song indeed. And the Sloth enjoyed his dream at the top of the tall teak tree. A beautiful dream about beans.