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FOOD & BEER THE GEM Forget slogging away at the ironing board trying to get your work shirts crease-free for the week ahead – Sunday nights are for gently winding down with plenty of food, beers, music and laughter. Add to the mix a cosy live music venue on a super chilled-out acoustic night, and I was on to a winner when I visited Southern Americana- style haunt The Gem in Collingwood. Fully in fat-bastard mode, but minus the trackies with the stretchy waist-band (not because I was in public but because it was kind of a date and it was way too premature to reveal that my favourite style for getting ma munch on is being a pure nick), I couldn’t wait to get in amongst some of this legendary bar’s best dishes. So, while desperately trying to stay cool and not to slitter down myself like the numpty I naturally am, myself and said date, who also happened to be in recovery mode after a radge weekend, tucked into a scrumptious Texan-style BBQ platter of meat, pickles, sides and salads. For those who have trouble deciding what to pick from the menu, a great solution is the tasting plate, which can satisfy the appetite of even the hungriest gannit. While struggling with my invisible friends perched on each shoulder, the fattie and the classy lady, I decided to go for the nicely average amount of three meats and two sides – pulled lamb, pork, fennel and chilli sausages, and beef brisket, accompanied by ranch-style beans with brisket ends and mac ‘n cheese with bacon crumbs. The heaped pile of pulled lamb was perfectly tender and aromatic, and the big slabs of brisket were just dry enough for us to fully appreciate the saucy goodness of the gravy. You can’t go wrong with a good sausage, and these big juicy bangers did not disappoint, although the chilli was on the mild side (probably a good thing for me, as my actual eyelids sweat at the mere hint of the stuff – not a good look at the best of times). The mac ‘n cheese was heaven in a wee dish, and myself and my date agreed that the thick, smoky ranch-style beans with crispy brisket ends packed the biggest punch of the platter. The crisp garden salad and pickled veg were very welcome and the perfect way to cut through the meaty richness. OK beer obsessives, haud yer wheesht, I’m getting to your bit. This tasty feast was all washed down with some lovely liquids from The Gem’s collection of luscious imported and home craft beers. First up, we supped a tinnie of my bonnie homeland’s BrewDog “Dead Pony” Californian- style pale ale, which was delightfully light and crisp, with zesty citrus notes. Swinging wildly to the opposite end of the globe and the tastebud scale, we also had a full- bodied and deliciously malty Bridge Road Celtic Red Ale, which had an interesting, toffee-esque flavour. The next round consisted of an aromatic, hop-laden Beechworth Pale Ale by Bridge Road Brewers, and a Little Creatures Bright Ale off tap – which we both agreed is pure deliciousness in a glass. The night ended with doughnuts with salted caramel bourbon and whipped cream. These bite-sized treats are just the right amount to squeeze into even the fullest of bellies. And they’re bloody divine. Rating: Living right up to its name, it’s a wee Gem (and great for second dates). Claire Henderson is a perpetually hungry Scot who lives life with her glass at least half full at all times. Scottish-English glossary: Trackies: Track suit bottoms Fat bastard: Someone who loves food … a lot Pure nick: Not very presentable Slitter: To drop food Numpty: Silly billy Radge: Wild Gannit: Someone with eyes bigger than their belly Haud yer wheesht: Be quiet and be patient Sups: Sip Words/pics by Claire Henderson “YOU CAN’T GO WRONG WITH A GOOD SAUSAGE”
