Gay Male Domestic ViolenceGay Male Domestic Violence

What it looks like and What it looks like and how to help how to help

Presented at 6Presented at 6thth Annual North Texas Annual North Texas Effective Work with BatterersEffective Work with BatterersJ. Michael Cruz, PhD, MA, LPCJ. Michael Cruz, PhD, MA, LPC

Presentation Goals:Presentation Goals:• To describe how gay men define their

abuse/domestic violence.• To address the types of abuse/domestic

violence gay men report experiencing.• To share the reasons victims think gay male

DV occurs.• To suggest guidance in working with gay

male batterers.

Social Constructionist PerspectiveSocial Constructionist Perspective

• Social construction- reducing a symbol to a basic level and attributing meaning to or deriving meaning from that particular symbol.

• Gender- taking a symbol (behavior, appearance) and attributing it to being masculine or feminine.

• DV- Ann Jones says the way we talk about the problem is part of the problem.

• WI Thomas- If we believe situations to be real they are real in their consequences.

Methods- Study 1 (1995/1996)Methods- Study 1 (1995/1996)• Qualitative study• N= 25• Gay identified men in Texas (Dallas)• Age range 25-43• Mean age 30• Relationship duration 10 mos- 10 years• Guiding ?s: a) how do you define

violence/abuse? b) what have you experienced? c) what do you think causes gay male dv/abuse?

Methods- Study 2 (2012/2013)Methods- Study 2 (2012/2013)

• Qualitative study• N= 11• Gay identified men in Texas (Dallas)• Age range 23-58• Mean age 36• Relationship duration 3 mos- 6.5 years• Guiding ?s: a) how do you define

violence/abuse? b) what have you experienced? c) what do you think causes gay male dv/abuse?

CausesCauses• Internalized homophobia• Jealousy/insecurity• “men don’t know how to relate to one

another”• Control• Money/financial problems• Drugs/alcohol• Intergenerational transmission

[Gay] Male Socialization[Gay] Male Socialization• Gay men are socialized in a straight male

society• Messages about patriarchy and privilege

are taught via primary and secondary agents of socialization

• Hegemonic masculinity- power, dominance, control, internalized homophobia

• Non-normative relationship styles• Social media hook up sites

CharacteristicsCharacteristics• Respondent definitions of “violence” and

“abuse”• Cycle of violence (Walker)-– Tension building phase– Abusive episode– Honeymoon phase

• Respondent experiences

ConsequencesConsequences• Economic costs• Stress (physical illness, PTSD)• Social and psychological costs (fear)• Physical consequences (broken bones,

bruises)• Loss of life

Reasons for staying ?Reasons for staying ?• Financial dependence (18.6%)• Naiveté/inexperience (16.3%)• Love (14%)• Hope for change (9.3%)• Loneliness (7%)• Love, codependence/attraction, hope for

change, idea of the ‘one,’ no where else to go/dependence, wanted to make it work, low self esteem, thought it was normal.

Issues with Gay Male BatterersIssues with Gay Male Batterers• Power and control • Two men- reciprocity/mutual fighting• Gender socialization- men fight back• Self-definitions of abuse- “just a fight”

rather than domestic violence/battering/abuse

• Non-normative relationship styles

Effectively Working with Gay Male Effectively Working with Gay Male BatterersBatterers

• Know your limitations- seek guidance• Learn the client• Honor their self-defined ‘gayness’ • Avoid stereotypes, presumptions, or

judgement • Expect that they need the same learning

as a straight male batterer• Respect their relationship (love, money,

kids)

ConclusionConclusion• No one deserves to be abused• Abusive behavior is physical, verbal,

spiritual, material• Passive aggressive behaviors can be

considered abusive• Persons who are battered (women)

attempt to leave 7 times before leaving for good

• Victims come to terms with their situations on their own terms and in their own time

PublicationsPublications• 2003. “Why Doesn’t He Just Leave?” Gay

Male Domestic Violence and Reasons Victims Stay.” Journal of Men’s Studies. 11:309-323.

• 2001. “Family Violence and Substance Use: The Perceived Effects of Substance Use within Gay Male Relationships.” Violence and Victims 16:161-72 with Robert L. Peralta.

• 2000. “Gay Male Domestic Violence and the Pursuit of Masculinity.” Pp. 66-82 in Gay Masculinities, edited by Peter M. Nardi. CA: Sage Publications.

• 1998. “Exploring Violence and Abuse in Gay Male Relationships” Violence and Victims 13: 159-73 with Juanita M. Firestone.

Other SourcesOther Sources• Legal and Psychological Perspectives on

Same Sex Domestic Violence: A Multisystemic Approach (2003) http://wcadv.org/sites/default/files/resources/Legal%20and%20Psychological%20LGBTQ%20Same-sex%20DV.pdf

• LGBT Communities and Domestic Violence Information and Resources (National Resource Center on DV) http://nwnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/National-Resource-Center_LGBTDV-Full.pdf

Other SourcesOther Sources• Power and Control Wheel for Lesbian, Gay,

Bisexual, and Trans Relationships http://tcfv.org/pdf/Updated_wheels/LGBT.pdf

WebsitesWebsites• http://

www.rainbowdomesticviolence.itgo.com• http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/

power_control-wheel.html• http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/

myths_facts.html

ContactContact• J. Michael Cruz, PhD, MA, LPC• 469.547.5950• jmcruz@myresourcecenter.org• www.linkedin.com/in/jmichaelcruz