Gene A. Getz - Parableparable.com/assets/pcom/files/Excerpt/9780800726492.pdf · Getz, Gene A. The...

Gene A. Getz

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Gene A. Getz, The Measure of a ManRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2004. Used by permission.

© 2004 by Gene A. Getz

Published by Revella division of Baker Publishing GroupPO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287www.revellbooks.com

Revell edition published 2014ISBN 978-0-8007-2649-2

Previously published by Regal Books

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

The Library of Congress has cataloged the original edition as follows:Getz, Gene A.

The measure of a man / Gene A. Getz.—Rev. ed. p. cm.Includes bibliographical references.ISBN 0-8307-3495-3

1. Men—Religious life. 2. Spiritual life—Christianity. I. Title.BV4843.G47 2004248.8’42—dc22 2004009517

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations labeled AMP are from the Amplified® Bible, copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

The author has added emphasis to Scripture by italicizing words and phrases.

Cover design by David GriffingEdited by Amy Spence

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ContentsForeword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11True Stories

Chapter 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17Becoming a Faithful Man

Chapter 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23Building a Good Reputation

Chapter 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32Maintaining Moral Purity

Chapter 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45Living a Balanced Life

Chapter 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54Demonstrating Wisdom

Chapter 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65Making God’s Truth Attractive

Chapter 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76Sharing Our Resources

Chapter 8 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86Communicating Sensitively

Chapter 9 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98Being Moderate in All Things

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Chapter 10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109Overcoming Self-Centeredness

Chapter 11 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121Handling Anger Appropriately

Chapter 12 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135Avoiding Destructive Behavior

Chapter 13 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147Treating Others Fairly

Chapter 14 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159Being a Peacemaker

Chapter 15 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172Learning Generosity

Chapter 16 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185Fathering God’s Way

Chapter 17 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198Loving God Wholeheartedly

Chapter 18 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210Being Just and Upright

Chapter 19 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224Living a Holy Life

Chapter 20 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236Becoming a Disciplined Man

Endnotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250



ForewordThe Measure of a Man is a classic! My good friend and fellow pas-tor, Dr. Gene Getz, helped pioneer the men’s movement with thistimeless book. Growing out of his church-planting experience,while meeting with a group of men for Bible study and prayer,Gene suggested they study the maturity profile outlined by Paulto Timothy and Titus (see 1 Tim. 3 and Titus 1). Impressed andmotivated by the insights from Scripture and by what these menshared from their own life experiences, Gene began to journal.

One day, Bill Greig, Jr., then the president of Gospel Light,was visiting in Dallas and stopped by Gene’s office to get anupdate on this new church plant called Fellowship BibleChurch. It was then that Gene shared his notations that grewout of the men’s Bible study. Before Bill left Gene’s office, he hada commitment from Gene to write a book based on the 20 char-acter qualities outlined by Paul.

Little did Bill or Gene realize what would happen. Firstpublished in 1974, The Measure of a Man has never gone out ofprint and has been translated into numerous languages andused around the world to motivate men to live a moreChristlike life. When Gene is asked why this volume has hadthis incredible shelf life, he simply answers—“I borrowed theoutline from the apostle Paul, who got it from the Holy Spirit.”Then with tongue in cheek, he adds—“When we get to heaven,Paul will probably get the rewards and I’ll be penalized forplagiarism.”

This new and fresh revision brings even more insights to thebiblical profile of maturity. As a pastor, I have used this bookwith my own church leaders ever since I read it years ago. I con-sider it a classic for men who want to become spiritual leaders.



10 Foreword

I recommend it highly. Taken seriously, The Measure of a Man willchange your life and the life of your church.

John C. MaxwellFounder, INJOY

INJOY Stewardship Services and EQUIP



IntroductionTrue Stories

Five Super Bowls Later!One day I received a call from D. D. Lewis, former linebackerwith the Dallas Cowboys. “I’m in trouble,” D. D. said, “and Ineed help! Will you help me?”

D. D.’s voice sounded desperate. “Sure,” I replied. “Let’s meetThursday morning.”

While playing with the Cowboys, D. D. attended the churchI pastored. After participating in five Super Bowls under CoachTom Landry, he eventually retired and went into business. Atsome point, he had stopped attending church and I had lostcontact with him.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go well for D. D. He experi-enced two business failures and eventually went through apainful divorce that also left him alienated from his children.Although he was a professing Christian, his life had deterio-rated.

As we met that Thursday morning, this once-powerful manon the football field poured out his sad story. He knew he need-ed spiritual help and more accountability.

Getting Back on TrackAs I sat with D. D. that day, I saw the desperation in his eyes. “I’llhelp you,” I replied. “Let’s meet once a week for breakfast, andthen work through my book The Measure of a Man.”

D. D. was grateful. He would read a chapter each week, andthen we would meet to talk, discuss and pray.



12 Introduct ion

“You’ll need to be honest with me,” I said. “No secrets. If youfail in some area of your life, you’ll need to admit it up front andget back on track with the Lord.”

Again, D. D. agreed and together we worked through the chap-ters in this book. Later, he wrote me and shared the following:

Meeting with you and going through your book, TheMeasure of a Man, helped usher me back into renewedrelationships with the family of God. This study showedme that God does have a design and standard for godlymen to follow. With your loving encouragement, I havebeen able to see that God loves me in spite of my pastbehavior (Titus 3:3-7), and that my journey towardmaturity is a process and not an overnight quick-fixemotional sensation.

Our time together fostered in me a real thirst forGod’s Word. It has sustained me through some roughperiods and trials. I have found out that most men havethe same problems over the years, and that healingbegins when we share ourselves with other godly men.

An Experience I Will Never ForgetAs D. D. and I sat week after week, working through The Measureof a Man, my thoughts went back to a dynamic Bible study I hadwith a group of men in Dallas. We met on 20 successiveThursday mornings—from 6:45 to 7:45—in the DowntownerMotel conference room before we all went off to work for theday. We wanted to discover from Scripture and from each otherhow we could become better husbands, better fathers, betterChristians—in short, more mature men of God.

What made this time with D. D. Lewis so special was that thebook we were using to study what God says about becoming amature man of God grew out of that earlier group Bible study.



13Tr ue Stor ies

You see, I was so excited about what was happening in all of ourlives that I began to duplicate the experience in writing. The endresult was this book.

An Inspiring Father and Son StoryCollege was a new experience for me. During my fresh-man year I was meeting a new group of friends. The paceof life got busier and busier. I did get involved in someChristian activities, but much of what I was doing wasjust “filler.” I didn’t feel I was really connecting with God.

One day my dad called and asked me a simple ques-tion: “How are you doing, Grant; how are you doing spir-itually?” I paused for what seemed a long time, and thenanswered, “I’m not doing so great, Dad, I mean, with myrelationship with God. At times I’m actually faking myspiritual walk.”

That simple but direct question from my dad endedwith a great conversation. He didn’t preach at me or makeme feel guilty. I felt he was sincerely interested in me andwhat was happening in my life. I realized more than everhow privileged I was to have a father who really cared.

As I reflected on our conversation, I wrote Dad a let-ter and suggested that we do something special duringthe summer when I’d be back home. In essence, I said,“Thanks a lot for asking me that question the othernight on the phone. I really want to connect with youthis summer. I’m looking forward to coming home andto connecting with you—and God.”

Needless to say, Ron (Grant’s father) was excited about thisopportunity. They had their first meeting early in the morningat Starbucks—and became regulars that summer. To guide their



14 Introduct ion

conversation they chose my book TheMeasure of a Man. They pre-pared for each meeting by reading two chapters and then talkedabout how they could develop these qualities in their lives. Theyalso set goals by using the application section at the end of eachchapter.

What they read in each chapter often became a catalyst fordeep, personal interaction between father and son.

Grant: I think one of the most meaningful experiences iswhen we were able to simply put TheMeasure of aMandown and just talk one-on-one. My dad shared expe-riences from his own life when he was in college—hisown successes and failures—which showed me hewas a real guy who faced the same struggles andtemptations I was experiencing.

Ron: One of the great things about using The Measure of aMan as a guide for our discussions was how much Ilearned. I remember sitting across from my sonthinking, Here I am an older man who is supposed to bedispensing this fatherly wisdom, but as Grant shared insightswith me, his dad, I was really inspired. Our discussionswere definitely a two-way street. We were learningtogether.

That summer was a great experience for father and son—somuch so that they wanted to continue their conversations afterGrant returned to his college campus. Together they formulateda plan. They decided to use the same pattern they had followedall summer. Early Tuesday mornings Ron would go to Star-bucks, order his coffee, and wait for his cell phone to ring. At6:30—most of the time—Grant called his dad. They each hadtheir copies of The Measure of a Man in front of them and theyreviewed the qualities of maturity described in each chapter and



15Tr ue Stor ies

then evaluated the goals they had set during the summer to seehow they were progressing.

Looking back on this experience, here are their reflections:

Ron: I’m convinced that this study is the perfect book tohelp fathers connect with their sons. It opens a doorfor you to invite your son into your life at a deeperlevel.

Grant: I’m just so thankful that I’ve been able to grow inmy relationship with God, and even more impor-tantly, to grow in my relationship with my father.I’ve discovered that I can know God better because Iknow Dad better.

How Do We Measure Maturity?The apostle Paul outlined in his two pastoral letters 20 dynamicqualities for measuring maturity—his first letter to Timothy andthe one he wrote to Titus (see 1 Tim. 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-10). Theseare the qualities that formed the basis of the Bible study I men-tioned earlier. Each Thursday morning, one of us in the grouptook about 30 minutes to share what we could learn fromScripture about each particular quality. We then spent another30 minutes in discussion and personal sharing, focusing pri-marily on how we could develop each quality more adequately inour lives.

Our study together had a profound impact on all of us. As Ihelped lead some of these sessions, and as I simply listened andparticipated, my own life was influenced and changed in some pro-found ways. What was happening in all of our lives motivated meto share this experience with other men. What you hold in yourhands is an updated version of The Measure of a Man. As you study,reflect on what Paul wrote to Timothy nearly 2,000 years ago:



16 Introduct ion

The things which you have heard from me in the pres-ence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful menwho will be able to teach others also (2 Tim. 2:2).

Thinking and Growing TogetherGod has designed the Body of Christ so that each member con-tributes to the spiritual growth of other members of the Body.As Paul wrote to the Ephesians, it’s as “every joint supplies,according to the proper working of each individual part” thatthe Body will grow and mature in love (Eph. 4:16). We are “mem-bers one of another” (Rom. 12:5) and we need each other.

Consequently, at the end of each chapter, you’ll find a sec-tion entitled “Thinking and Growing Together.” To get the mostfrom this study, join a small group of men and work throughthese questions together. You’ll be glad you did.



C H A P T E R 1

Becoming aFaithful Man

Insights from theWorkadayWorldI had a fascinating experience one day when I was conducting aMeasure of a Man seminar in Chicago. Two men sitting near thefront row were obviously interested in what I was sharing aboutthe list of 20 qualities of maturity that Paul outlined in his lettersto Timothy and Titus. While I was speaking, they gaveme positivefeedback, not only with body language, but also with words such



18 Chapter 1

as: “That’s right, Gene”; “That’s true”; “That’s a good point.”Encouraged, I went over and sat at their table during the

next coffee break. I discovered they were both in upper manage-ment in a large steel mill in Gary, Indiana. Furthermore, theywere both brand-new Christians. One of the men said, “Gene,this is outstanding material. We’ve heard it before, but not from

the Bible.” The other man agreed,and then added, “Yeah, I’ve heardof Timothy before, but this Titusguy, I’ve never heard of him.”

At that moment, I knew I wasrelating to men who were not onlynew Christians, but who also knewlittle about the Bible. And I soondiscovered these men were not newto the field of management. Theymade an observation I’ll never for-get. “You know,” they said, “this isthe first time we’ve heard this listof qualifications from the Bible.But we’ve learned from experi-ence in hiring people for middle-management positions that theseare the kind of men we’re lookingfor. We want employees who havea good reputation. We don’t want

a man who is cheating on his wife or sleeping around, becausechances are, he’ll cheat the company. We certainly don’t want aman who has all kinds of domestic problems. If he can’t handlehis own family, how in the world is he going to handle people inour steel mill?” These men outlined characteristic by character-istic what they had learned from experience regarding maturequalifications. Interestingly, they realized that their basic list of

How do werecognize a

“man of God”?What does helook like?



19Becoming a Fai thfu l Man

mature qualifications closely paralleled Paul’s list.I was intrigued and fascinated. We had been looking at

qualities of maturity inspired by the Holy Spirit and outlinedby Paul nearly 2,000 years ago. And here were two men whowere new Christians and knew little about the Bible, but hadlearned by experience that this biblical profile is pragmaticand essential in selecting people who will serve in responsiblepositions.

Timothy in EphesusWhen Paul wrote his second letter to Timothy, he referred to a“man of God” who is “equipped for every good work” (2 Tim.3:17). This raises an important question. How do we recognize a“man of God”? What does he look like?

These are not new questions. They were going throughTimothy’s mind when Paul left him in Ephesus to establish theChurch. He had to deal with men who wanted to be spiritualleaders.

Paul commended these men for aspiring to serve in a leader-ship role. Yet he cautioned Timothy to make sure that each manwho wanted to serve was a certain kind of man (see 1 Tim. 3:1).

Titus in CreteTitus faced the same challenge in his ministry. Paul left him inCrete to appoint spiritual leaders in towns where they hadestablished churches (see Titus 1:5). Again, Paul cautionedTitus to make sure that these men measured up to certain qual-ifications.

Apparently, Titus faced problems in Crete that were moredifficult to resolve than those Timothy faced in Ephesus.Already, men who evidently claimed to be Christians had



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emerged and were destroying “whole families, teaching thingsthey should not teach for the sake of sordid gain” (v. 11). Theirprimary motive was money. Titus faced the awesome task ofnot only discovering leaders and training them to be godly butalso of silencing those who were “empty talkers and deceivers”(v. 10).

Paul’s Maturity ProfileTwo paragraphs in Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus give us apowerful profile for testing ourmaturity levels inChrist (see 1 Tim.3:1-7; Titus 1:5-10). The following list depicts spiritual qualifica-tions from both letters:

1. Overall spiritual maturity (a well-rounded man)2. Above reproach (a man of good repute)3. The husband of one wife (morally pure)4. Temperate (balanced in words and actions)5. Prudent (wise and humble)6. Respectable (good role model)7. Hospitable (unselfish and generous)8. Able to teach (communicates sensitively in a non-threatening and nondefensive manner)

9. Not addicted to wine (not addicted to substances)10. Not self-willed (not self-centered and controlling)11. Not quick-tempered (void of anger that becomessinful)

12. Not pugnacious (not abusive)13. Gentle (sensitive, loving and kind)14. Peaceable (nonargumentative and nondivisive)15. Free from the love of money (nonmaterialistic)16. Manages his own household well (a good husband

and father)



21Becoming a Fai thfu l Man

17. Loving what is good (pursues godly activities)18. Just (wise, discerning, nonprejudiced and fair)19. Devout (holy, devoted to God)20. Self-controlled (disciplined)

Goals for Every Christian ManWhen you first look at the list of spiritual qualifications inPaul’s two letters, you might conclude that Paul was exclusivelyoutlining qualifications for men who serve in pastoral andteaching positions in the Church. Not so! While Paul was out-lining criteria for selecting leaders, he was in essence saying,“Timothy, if a man wants to become a spiritual leader, that’sgreat. Just make sure he’s a mature man, and here’s how you candetermine if he measures up to God’s standards as a Christian.”

In other words, some men will possess these qualities toserve as spiritual leaders. Some men will feel called to carry onthis kind of ministry and others will not. The qualities, however,are goals for every Christian man. Paul simply pulled together sev-eral qualities he and other authors mentioned elsewhere in theNew Testament and then compiled a marvelous profile for mea-suring our maturity levels in Christ.

An Exciting ChallengeAs you evaluate your life, be on guard against discouragement.See this as a great opportunity to become the man of God youreally want to become. Remember that Satan may be lookingover your shoulder and whispering in your ear, “You’ll neverbecome that kind of man. You’ve blown it too badly. There’sno hope for you. You’ll never break out of your old sin pat-terns.”



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When Satan tempts you with these thoughts, meditate onthese words:

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will fleefrom you. Draw near to God and He will draw near toyou (Jas. 4:7-8).

Listen to God’s voice, which is saying, “I love you no matterwhat you’ve done, no matter where you are in your spiritualgrowth, no matter what your feelings. I’m on your side. I havenot rejected you. You are My child. You can become a man ofGod, and I’m here to help you.”

Thinking and Growing TogetherThe following questions are designed for group discussion afterreading and studying the content of this chapter:

• Why do some men grow rapidly in their Christian faithonce they become believers, and why do others struggle,seemingly taking as many steps backward as forward?Note: Think of examples you can sensitively share. If youfeel free to, share your own personal experiences.• As you look back at Paul’s Maturity Profile, what wouldyou consider to be your areas of strength?• As you look at the same profile, in what one specific areawould you like to grow the most? Can you identify thefactor or factors that are holding you back?

Set a GoalWrite out one goal you’d like to achieve as a result of this study.



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