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Table Of Contents
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Foreword
Chapter 1:Gambling Won’t Fix Debt
Chapter 2:Why We Get Into Bad Gambling Habits
Chapter 3:What Occurs
Chapter 4:Abstention Or Command And The Journey
Chapter 5:Steps To Overcome The Habit
Wrapping Up
Foreword
Congratulations on taking this big step of reading this if this is your
first book about stopping troubled gambling, if all the same like me,
this is among several books you've read then well done once more, you
know you’re becoming stronger.
The aim of this book is to be for both sexes, all ages, all colors, creeds and
faiths. It matters not if you’re a adolescent that has got ‘carried away’, a
middle aged woman who’s simply spent her life savings or a individual
sitting in his prison cell doing a long stretch for a problem gambling
related condemnable offence.
I’m not worried with whether the debt you discover yourself in is
1000, or one 1000000000000, our journey is more or less the same - you
have to change.
In my eyes the past may stop here and the future may begin here.
Get Rid Of Gambling
Overcome One Of The Most Difficult Addictions Today.
Chapter 1:Gambling Won’t Fix Debt
Synopsis
Living in this world with ever increasing pressures from a assortment of
sources may leave us perpetually having to juggle income to make ends
meet.
We all dream about winning the lottery so that all our financial concerns
may be solved in one fell swoop. All the same for most of the population
that's where it remains - as a dream.
Then along come the problem gamblers and they attempt to make that
dream into a reality by actively pursing those long odds.
Rather simply they're chasing a dream that may never become a reality
and that's why you'll perpetually find them trying gambling to get out of
debt.
It Won’t Help
Prolonged problem gambling has brought you to this place -
prolonged problem gambling won't get you out!
The above statement would appear so commonplace in a non-problem
gambler’s brain that it borders on being rather an absurd one. To the non-
problem gambler the same may be said of any statement that to the
sound mind would be so totally obvious, like…
If you cuff yourself to a post, it will be hard to walk away. Or placing your
shoes on opposite feet would make walking uncomfortable.
And all the same all problem gamblers believe that prolonged problem
gambling provides them a chance. A chance that they might get out of debt
with that ever elusive ‘one big win’. This erroneous belief is one that a
problem gambler has to drop from a great height if they're to have any
chance of success.
The fact that I'm writing this book - the fact that gamblers
anonymous is a universal organization that helps problem gamblers - the
fact that there are a lot of different worldwide organizations providing help
- the fact that there are 1000s of other books about problem gamblers
whose world’s have crumbled - the fact that individuals have committed
suicide due to gambling - the fact that 1000000s and 1000000s
is poured into research around the world into the problem gambling
phenomenon - the fact that a lot of individuals are sitting in cells
around the world because of gambling related crimes - sorry to be
carrying on a bit here, but the fact is, that all the facts add up to the fact
that:
Prolonged problem gambling won't get you out of debt - it will only make it
worse
Okay, for the individuals out there who still doubt - think about this.
Even if a problem gambler gets that ‘big win’ - prolonged problem gambling
would mean, it will only be a matter of time before they're back in debt.
Your new belief in this area ought to be that no matter if I won the huge
one, prolonged problem gambling will put me back into debt.
Chapter 2:Why We Get Into Bad Gambling Habits
Synopsis
This is a tricky question that will be hard to answer because all problem
gamblers’ have a different hereditary make-up, their situations will all be
different and the amount of loss of control they've experienced will deviate.
On this one I’m going to let you develop your own ideas as to why you've
had an issue with gambling.
Look At Yourself
A fast example:
Maybe you have a mild sort of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and as
well as additional things I go over and over the same thing time and
again. i.e. A damaging thought. Occasionally it truly is nice to take a
break from yourself.
• Gambling may supply a sanctuary for you
• Maybe you have felt stressed and would gamble to escape
• Maybe you have been depressed you would gamble
• Maybe you have been happy you would gamble
• Maybe you have been unhappy you would gamble
• Maybe you have Sub-consciously I felt like you had under-achieved in your life
• Maybe you have been angry toward your parents for kicking me out of your home when you were younger
• Maybe you have been angry toward your parents for not supporting you, or giving you any good advice, or any advice at all. Or helping you to get a university education, or go to college
• Maybe you have gotten bored and liked to gamble
• Maybe you have liked the buzz you got from gambling
• Maybe you have a fixation with numbers and figures
• Maybe you have thought you could beat the house odds because in some way you were special
• Maybe you have become addicted to the action of gambling
• Maybe you have thought I could gamble my way out of an eternally depressing financial situation
• Maybe you have wanted to be rebellious and not play by the rules of society i.e. hard work
• Maybe you have had trouble relaxing
After nearly 2 years now of looking into myself I may come up with a list. I'm very proud of my list as it allows me to identify the negative emotions in my life, where they have been coming from and why in the past I've walked into the arms of gambling every time one of them popped up, which was pretty much all the time.
So now we’ll come more directly to you, come on, let’s construct your list. Put a tick next to the line that describes you. It’s going to be a pretty thorough list as I don’t wish to miss any of you.
I've a mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and as well as other matters I go over and over the same thing over again and again. i.e. a damaging thought.
Occasionally it truly is nice to take a break from myself. Gambling
provides a sanctuary for me
Once I feel strained I like to gamble to break away
Once I'm depressed I need to gamble
Once I'm happy I wish to gamble
When I'm distressed I wish to gamble
When I was little I had a big win. I know that eventually I may win
big again
Sub-consciously I feel like I've under-achieved in my life
I'm angry toward my parents for something
I'm angry toward my mate for something they've done/said
If I get bored I wish to gamble
I like the buzz I get from gambling
I've a fixation with numbers and figures
I believe I may beat the house odds as in some way I'm special
I'm addicted to the action of gambling
I believe I stand a chance of gambling my way out of an everlastingly
depressing financial situation
I wish to be rebellious and not play by the rules of society i.e.
hard work
I have trouble unwinding
There's a past trauma/traumas in my life that I haven’t dealt with as
it’s too painful. When I’m gambling I don’t have to consider such
matters
I don’t feel like I have a desirable role model in my life
I like to self hurt myself as I suffer from low self-regard so losing cash
I don't have fulfils that need
I've a mood disorder where I fluctuate between high energy and a
happy mood one moment, then I find myself in periods of depression
- it is at these times that I wish to gamble
I've an attention deficit disorder which means I'm not able to center
for long time periods. I find gambling hazardous enough to draw
and hold my attention, temporarily alleviating me of my
symptoms
I suffer from schizophrenic disorder
I see gambling as a way to hike up my income
I gamble because my acquaintances do and it’s a social thing
There's a history of substance abuse and addictive traits in my
family so problem gambling came by nature to me
I've an addictive personality and do everything to the
extreme. Not only do I problem gamble, but I take lots of substances,
drink far too much and I’m not unknown for gorging regularly.
Once I gamble without me knowing my brain is releasing
endorphins that have a ‘morphine’ like impact on me. I'm in
reality experiencing a high when I gamble and I like that feeling
Ironically now that I’ve just created that list to attempt and help you I have
found a few more I may add to my own list.
Did you note that out of these reasons above, that only one of them was
linked to cash? That’s because problem gambling has got utterly
nothing to do with cash and everything to do with damaging emotions.
And if you quit reading this book right now and never read another word
but you began to believe that was the case, then you would be well on your
way to recovery and I would be as pleased as punch. Let us now have a look
at what really happens to us.
Chapter 3:What Occurs
Synopsis
Prior to, upon and following gambling.
What Goes On
Prior to:
• An increasing engrossment with gambling, to the point where nothing
else is crucial. This is frequently experienced as sense of ‘craving’
• A concern that you may miss an chance to win. How many
times have we heard of the distressed individual whose lucky
numbers showed up but who had forgot to purchase their ticket!
• Irrational confidence and illusions about winning
• Exhilaration in anticipation of placing a bet. Fantasizing what to
do with the profits
• Aggravation, rage and mounting stress if something prevents
them from gambling
On gambling:
• A total centering of attention on gambling; all else passes in
importance
• Exhilaration and physical arousal, demonstrated by increased pulse
rate
• Irrational talk within their head: “the next bet is the winner I've been
waiting for. It has to be my turn for a large win, I just know it”
• Superstitious conduct to increase the chance of a win
Following a successful session:
• Alleviation and anticipation of the following occasion
• Self-assurance (I knew I could do it) and a strong belief that winning
was a result of skill
• Joyful mood
• Amplified ego, having beaten ‘them’ at their own game
• Self-complacency at having cash and being able to impress a
mate or spouse
Following losing:
• Shame and remorse
• Dread of spouse or others finding out
• Worry over where to get cash to cover living expenses
• Thoughts of what prevarications to tell to cover one’s actions
• Self-directed rage
• Conclusion never to gamble again-but at the same time, thoughts
of where to ascertain cash in order to return to chase losses
• Want to forget issues through alcohol
And why do you choose to put yourself through that ‘After losing’ phase
time after time. It’s because of those… superstitious notions
When a coin is flipped into the air it has a even chance of landing on heads.
We all understand this. But if it lands on heads, then what is the chance
that it will land on heads once more? i.e. 2 times in a row
Now less likely to land on heads, or
Still even
If you selected A, and didn’t think that the answer was still even then you
have to put this book down, count slowly to 10 and then pick this book back
up.
If a horse tip from a dependable source comes your way and you back it and
it wins, does this make you
A brighter and better gambler than the rest
Lucky this time solely
If you picked ‘A’ again I’d like you to put down this book, ring up a
neurosurgeon and ask him to be on standby for an surgical operation that
may happen at any moment.
Let us not forget that occasional wins merely reinforce our fallacies that we
may win at gambling. If we all had these ‘sure’ inside tips and they
forever came in, then we’d all be wealthy and there would be no bookies.
If you win a hefty sum of money at the casino, say $10,000 what should you
do now?
Bank some, but take a serious sized stake back again really soon.
Keeping a winning streak going is imperative to effective gambling
Bank the lot, treat your family to something special and be
thankful for your luck. Don't go back any time soon and apply
them a penny of your money back
Please don’t tell me you’ve picked ‘A’ once more. You’re truly not getting the
hang of this game, are you? I’m afraid you’re going to need to pick up the
telephone and tell your physician to get the operating room ready; you're
on your way over there right now.
Okay so you’re in your auto, or on the bus, on route to your physician’s
house. Here you'll have the top of your head sawed-off and the small part of
your brain that keeps getting these answers incorrect is to be replaced
by a non problem gamblers’ part, who's just died and quite lovingly,
and knowingly, donated this part of their brain particularly for
individuals like you. But I'm feeling in a generous mood and so I’ll give you
one more chance to prevent going under the saw.
If a fixed odds betting depot that works by a random number
generator, which commonly reside in betting shops around the world,
and it's just gleaned 1000 dollars off a fellow better, do you?
Continue walking, that bears no relevance on any future outcome.
Got to give it a try, the machine is due a payout.
I tricked you. I cunningly switched from ‘A’ to ‘B’ being the wrong answer.
‘B’ is the answer that I held close to my heart for a lot of years and it
caused monumental amounts of self-annihilation.
As did all the other fallacies keep me buried in a world of anguish. All
these wrong notions are what have pegged you and me down all these years,
but we wish this to change - don’t we?
All these notions and many more beside, that are not based around reality
or reason, go to the very root that make us act in this curious way at times.
In order to advance we need to bury all of these superstitious notions.
Chapter 4:Abstention Or Command And The Journey
Synopsis
Gamblers Anonymous says that you ought to never have a gamble again
because if you have one, then the path to devastation has been returned.
All the same, a lot of studies carried out in academia have demonstrated
that some problem gamblers may return to controlled gambling without
slipping back into their ‘old ways’.
I believe this is a matter for the person and you ought to make your own
mind up on this one.
All I'll say is that for the immediate future everybody believes that
complete abstinence from gambling is the best way onward.
The Course
As it has already been stated, problem gambling isn't about the cash and
everything to do with your damaging emotions. You will not be able to deal
with clearing up all of those while you're gambling. So, complete abstinence
from now on till you are able to find better, less destructive ways of
dealing with your damaging emotions.
In time, should you select to return to controlled gambling then that's up to
you. But if you discover that you’re slipping back into ‘old ways’ then you
have to quit completely again and re-start your ‘negative emotion analysis’
and find better ways of dealing with tension and so forth.
In order to ever return to controlled gambling you have to first
master the following strategies:
1) You must be able to cut back your urge to gamble when it bobs up.
2) You have to correct all inaccurate beliefs you previously held about
gambling.
3) You'll have to learn to identify sets off that will provoke your urge to
gamble in the future, like damaging emotional states.
4) You'll have to discover alternative ways of dealing with tension,
anxiety and depression.
5) You'll know how to avoid gambling-related cues that will fuel your want
to gamble.
6) You'll have to become vigilant that you don’t slip back into the ‘old way’
What you might well find is when you become a master of all these
strategies that you truly don’t fancy ever gambling again.
The question now ……Do you wish to make the journey?
I know you wish to make this journey. I know you do. I know you are able
to make this journey right to the very end and I wish to meet you there, nod
to one another and then proceed with our lives to the fullness of our power
and beyond.
For X sum of years, each time we placed a bet we have been placing layer on
layer on our habit-forming ’trunk’ that's formed us into the individuals we
have become; individuals with a gambling issue. Gambling has become as
crucial as eating, sleeping and breathing and from time to time more
crucial.
This thick layered ‘trunk’ that's commanded our thoughts and actions has
been accumulated in that X amount of years, and there's no giant on/off
switch that anybody may give to us that will make it disappear in an blink of
an eye. Make no doubt in your brain that what lies ahead is nothing less
than a journey.
The length of this travel is undetermined, it will differ for each of us, but
there's no misinterpretation that it can't be accomplished in one leg.
My travel, which is nearly 2 years, still carries on. I genuinely don’t feel as
though I am at the end, but much water has passed underneath me since
then and I feel great about my problem gambling as I compose this line.
Like any journey of a capital length we have got to realize that it’s not all
going to be clear sailing, occasionally you may have to take a step back
in order to make another 3 forward. This isn't failure.
If you discover that you have a lapse this doesn't mean the ship is going
down and the journey is over, it more likely implies that a different part of
the ship needs repair in order for you to continue.
Your emotions will act as your compass and they'll inform you when
something isn't correct. Don’t ignore them; remember it was ignoring
them in the first place that got you here.
Remember, problem gambling isn't about cash; it's about not dealing
effectively with your damaging emotions.
In order to begin this journey we have to decide whether we want……Joy or
anguish in our lives.
I've assigned monumental amount of anguish to problem gambling,
such so that I don’t gamble the least bit. Consequently I’ve assigned a
good deal of pleasure to not problem gambling, and hey presto, this
hypothesis appears to work.
If you're yet under the delusion that problem gambling brings you joy then
you can't and won't succeed in your quest. The reason being, our mind loves
to do things that give us joy.
Remember when you were a youngster and you wanted to consume sweets
and chocolate all the time. Never entered your brain that they may actually
be doing you any damage; they tasted and felt so great. A big bag of sweets
was the monthly pay check for a youngster and we all couldn’t await
payday.
Then we began to visit the dentist and we viewed pictures of dental caries
and we discovered that sustained problem sweet-eating, while temporarily
made us feel great, it was demolishing our teeth and was unhealthful
for us. What did we do? We quit eating as many, gave ourselves the
occasional treat and smiled for each photo op that came our way.
The similarities to what we face today and back then are frightening,
but the precepts are the same. We assigned long-run anguish to eating
too many sweets and so we have to assign too much anguish to sustained
problem gambling. As a matter of fact I think it's safe to say that too much
of anything will come back to stalk us.
Take a moment out and decide which of the following statements appeal to
you the most today.
I wish to continue problem gambling so that I may temporarily feel
great but for the rest of the time I feel nauseated with myself and
see my health, looks, relationships and finances slide down the
sewer.
I'm currently problem gambling free, I'm making restitution for
my past, and am loving sleeping, eating, conversing with my
loved ones.
Life feels shinier and lighter and I likewise seem to have a few bucks
in my pocket, so I wonder how I may treat myself?
Chapter 5:Steps To Overcome The Habit
Synopsis
Your mind is capable of processing thirty billion bits of data per
second and it boasts the equivalent of 6,000 miles of cabling and
wiring. Your nervous system has about 28 billion neurons (nerve cells
designed to conduct impulses) and these are all required to interpret
the data we get through our sense organs and pass it on to the brain.
Each of these neurons is a tiny, self-contained PC capable of processing
about one million bits of data.
Now that we have the world’s most powerful PC at our disposal, let’s
see what it may accomplish.
Some Tips
Discover what anguish and joy you want.
First of all, I'd to like offer that while you're reading this book your
problem gambling is like a tiger outside the door, doing press-ups. So even
if you believe you’d like to change, or ought to change, or will change soon,
but not now, then as soon as you put this book down and walk out that
door, that tiger will go with you wherever you go and might tear you from
limb to limb at anytime it selects to do so.
Not a pretty sentiment, but we have to be clear-cut here, problem
gambling is no beauty contestant fighting for world peace and this isn't a
beauty pageant. Problem gambling is the demon, in the form of a tiger,
that's working out, right now and tapering its claws and teeth
awaiting the un-motivated, or, the somewhat motivated to venture out.
That's its sustenance. The one and only beast they fear is the wholly
motivated.
I, like you had stated to myself 100s of times before that I wanted to
stop gambling but I never did. I now know the formula to stopping problem
gambling and if I stick to it, like you, it may become a thing of the
past. If you may successfully complete all of the following steps then your
want to becoming problem gambling free may be a living, breathing truth.
Okay, so now I’m going to make a list of all the things that will happen to
me over the next 2 years if I don’t give up\ quit gambling. You may follow
me mentally or make your own list as we go through it.
If I carry on problem gambling for the next 2 years I’m pretty confident that
I:
• Will be in more debt than I am in now
• Could lose my life mate who I love a great deal
• Will drink increasingly to deaden the anguish of my situation
• Won't progress my career any further
• Might wind up jobless and then homeless
• Might wind up in jail as an attempt to get funds so that I may gamble
• Might have more failed suicide attempts, or even…
• Will see my wellness suffer
• Will see all my relationships hurt
• Will once more view the world as a dark and grim place
If I may stay problem gambling free for the following 2 years I’m pretty
confident that I:
• Will have much less debt than I have today, I might even be debt free
• Will have become closer to my life mate who truly deserves it ,
and hey, I truly deserve it too
• Won't have been seeking out drink or drugs all the time to help repair
my mood. I'll just be happier all round as I choose not to problem
gamble
• Won’t be in jail
• Won’t be dead or in hospital because of problem gambling
• Will have better wellness and my relationships will be in a
better condition. I may have even gained many new acquaintances
or one very good friend
• Will have experienced a lot of new things which will regenerate my
vigor for life, the world and all its gifts and wonders
• Will feel empathy for anybody who's a problem gambler as I
understand the anguish they're in
• Will be continuing to help any problem gambler that seeks my help,
as by helping them I'll be helping myself further
• Will begin to feel more and more victorious about what I have
accomplished over the last 2 years, but I'll never take anything for
granted
Utilize the list as motivational gas
Now we’re both going to take all the those atrocious things that will happen
to us if we don’t change, or, for me, uphold the change, and we’re going to
roll them all up into one huge ball called ‘sensation of urgency’ flip open
our heads and slam dunk it in.
At the same time, we'll roll up all those joys that we wish to begin
right now, label that with ‘sensation of urgency’ and do the same once
more. If we discover ourselves labeling them with ‘things to
accomplish shortly’ or ‘have get round to it’ then I believe you know
what will occur.
The following example I’m about to provide might not be the best
example given the circumstances but I’m going to run with it anyhow
to illustrate a point, please take it in the spirit it's intended.
If somebody was to follow you around everyplace you go with a gun to your
head, threatening to pull the trigger if you problem gambled, I believe we
may safely say that you wouldn’t do it. I know that's taking it to the
extreme but in order to be totally motivated you have to apply a similar
sense of urgency, albeit without any guns or bullets.
So to you, you have to utilize your list, whether it’s a mental one that you
keep repeating to yourself, or one that you’ve written down. Perhaps you
could carry the list round with you in your top pocket, or keep it in your top
drawer at home. By reading this list aloud to yourself, over and over and
over again, it will keep your motivation levels at the necessary high and let
you move on to the following step.
Perpetually interrupt your old habit
Even though you're now fully committed to change this doesn't mean
that the tiger outside will disappear and give you an effortless ride - Oh no
- It implies that when you venture outside you now have one of the tools
essential that may beat the tiger if he decides to pounce. It means you
may be on your way to fuelling what you want in life, and not what you
dread.
But motivation on its own might be able to fight the tiger off each time it
comes, but you truly need to get to the position where he’s not waiting for
you at all.
For this to occur you’re going to have to scramble and interrupt your old
habit such that it becomes unrecognizable, and a new pattern of
believing and acting towards problem gambling, is born.
Take active steps to shifting
Hanging out at the same gambling resorts but not gambling, or
speaking to friends who gamble, about gambling related matters, won't
help your cause.
As well as interrupting, scrambling and reconstructing your thought and
behavior patterns about gambling you have to ensure that other steps are
taken so it will become less and less easy for you to drop off to your now,
‘old ways’. You're going to have so much more free time on your hands and
brain and if you let it go begging, then guess who'll be waiting outside the
door?
My advice to you is:
Whatsoever YOU daydreamed about previously, accomplish it -
whatsoever YOU discussed previously, only never bore the cash to
accomplish it, simply accomplish it (all right whenever it is fairly
conceivable under your present state of affairs) whenever you utilize the
same ardor to your fresh experiences as you once did to gambling, then I
recognize the consequences will be astonishing, and the more of those you
get under your belt and the more fun you have executing them, the less
likely you will ever be of going back to the ‘previous processes’.
Sustaining changes once they're made
Recall your damaging emotions are nothing more than action signals. Take
action today and for the rest of your lives and your shift will become
permanent. You and I may condition any behavior inside ourselves if
we do it with adequate repetition and emotional intensity. Failure to
sustain your changes might lead to slippage.
Picture yourself as a business and the fresh tools you've learnt are your
customers. If you don’t look after your customers, in time, your business
will wind up in the toilet.
Wrapping Up
If you agree that your actions stem from the decisions you make, and that
they're powered by your beliefs, then the more you are able to do to
compound your fresh beliefs toward gambling the more successful your
journey will be.
I've discovered that the more I've read about the destructiveness of
problem gambling, the more I've researched how the gambling industry
operates and the more I read about how to deal more effectively with my
damaging emotional states, the less I feel the urge to gamble.
I hope this book has helped you in your journey.