P r o f. H a d l e y ’ s“Last Lecture”
t o d ay ’ s t H e m e
“Über Honesty.”and occasional ranting.
30 years oLd
150 P o u n d s
130 P o u n d s
c H e c k o u t my wa l l e t.
d o n ’ t b e a d i c k .
y o u g u y s s c a r e t H e crap o u t
o f m e .
monday
8am 8amwednesday
m yfirst
y e a r t e a c H i n g at s c a d .
monday
2pm 2pmwednesday
m ysecond
y e a r t e a c H i n g at s c a d .
tuesday
5pm 5pmthursday
Last week
t e a c H i n g at s c a d .
twist!
w H at a c o i n c i d e n c e !this may quite possibly be my last lecture ...
... at least for a bit.
2009
fall 2009fal
not
t e a c H i n g at s c a d .
a H e a r t y d i s c l a i m e r
t H e v i e w s o f t H i s P r e s e n tat i o n a r e n o t n e c e s s a r i ly
t H o s e o f t H e s ava n n a H c o l l e g e o f a r t a n d d e s i g n .
t w e e t i n g m y s P e e c H
workhardbenicet-
opeopledon’tbeadi-
ckdon’ttakethingsfo-
rgranteddoitforme-
blowbubblesdosomt
hingneweverdaylov
ewhatudobmorelike-
franceloveitorleave.
140
P l e a s e g r a b y o u r c e l l a n d
s ta n d .
tHe
w H i t e H o u s e .
y o u ’ r e P l u g g e d i n , b u t y o u ’ r e
n o t connected.
when you’re in class you aren’t
really in class. you’re thinking about
facebook. you’re thinking about that
other thing. you aren’t present.
s e r i o u s ly ? y o u ’ r e g o n n a wa s t e $200
a c l a s s ? a n d m y t i m e ?
even knowing how much i care about
giving you the education you need?
y o u a r e n ’ t r e a l ly connected at a l l .i f y o u s i t d o w n t o d o a P r o j e c t, r e a l ly d o i t .
pLease d o n ’ t H a l f - a s s i t .
if you’re the second-most intrested
person in class, you’re already behind.
think about all the “firsts.” in a
hundred different schools. yikes.
H o w m a n y P r o g r a m s a r e t H e r e ?10 0 ? r e a l ly ?
$1.50 i n l at e f e e s wisdom.
deatH
m at c H
b e i n g w o r s t i n t H e c l a s s d o e s n ’ t m e a n a s m u c H
a s n o t f i n d i n g a j o b . . . a n d n o t f i n d i n g w H e r e y o u f i t .
f o r e x a m P l e : ear pLugs are sexy.
i f i t ’ s a b s o l u t e ly t H e worst P r o j e c t i n t H e
w o r l d , f i n d t H e t H i n g i n i t y o u l i k e .
if you don’t have it, you’d better
cultivate it. start getting curious.
and playful.
m a k e miLd m i s c H i e f.
a n d t H at d o e s n ’ t i n c l u d e s t e a l i n g f8 k e y s o f f a l l t H e k e y b o a r d s .
w H at a r e your f i n c H e s ?
d a r w i n s t u d i e d f i n c H e s . l o o k w H at H a P P e n e d .
connect e v e n t o y o u r s e n t e n c e s .
“ t H at ’ s c u t e .”“ l o l .” “ o m g .”
“ i l i k e i t .”“aw e s o m e .”“ b a d - a s s .”
use more
words.P l e a s e u s e m o r e e f f i n g w o r d s .
# * # * ! ! @ # $ !
“ i l i k e i t ! ”
vs.
i l i k e t H e way t H at d r e s s m o v e s . t H e d e l i c at e y e l l o w s t i t c H i n g r e m i n d s m e o f m y
g r a n d m a’ s a P r o n . i l o v e H o w t H e f l o w e r s r e s e m b l e l a r k s . . .
“ i d o n ’ t H av e anytHing. ”
all your stuff doesn’t
actually connect you.
wHining.it’s not just for
emo prin-cesses
anymore.
s c a d i s n ’ t P e r f e c t, i k n o w. b u t i t ’ s P r e t t y i n c r e d i b l e .
connect y o u r s e l f t o t H e s c H o o l .
how many people in the
world even get a chance to
complain about the choice
of five cafeterias? or only
having 18 computer labs?
connect t o y o u r b e l i e f s .
m e e t m y g r a n d m a H a m P t o n , t H e r e P u b l i c a n q u a k e r .
tHe“ f i g H t i n ’ q u a k e r .”
e v e n w H e n y o u g e t u P s e t, y o u ’ r e u P s e t at t H e s u r fa c e ,
n o t t H e s u b s ta n c e . y o u ’ r e u P s e t at t H e s o u n d b i t e s .
w e n e e d m o r e P o r c H e s .a n d P e o P l e t i m e . a n d m o r eH u m a n connections.
i t ’ s p o p u l a r t o b e discon-
nected a n d d i s i n t e r e s t e d .
p e o p l e e m b r a c e b e i n g l o s t.
the reason people your age some-
times feel like they have nothing is
because society (advertising) has
told them they can buy happiness.
F u l F i l l m e n t d o e s n ’ t w o r k t h at way.
tHe m o s t f r i g H t e n i n g
l e c t u r eever.
w H at a r e y o u g o n n a d o t H at ’ s t H e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n a m a c H i n c e d o i n g i t , i f y o u
a r e n ’ t connected t o y o u r w o r k , a n d i f y o u d o n ’ t c a r e ?
H o w a r e y o u b e t t e r t H a n a c o m P u t e r P r o g r a m ?
i f y o u ’ r e a b s e n t f r o m c l a s s o n e d ay, w o u l d a n y o n e
a c t u a l ly notice
t H at y o u w e r e g o n e?
connect t o y o u r o w n a b i l i t y.
“ i c a n ’ t d r aw.”
i t ’ s y o u r r e s P o n s i b i l i t y.n o b o d y ’ s g o n n a P u l l y o u
t H r o u g H . s o m e t i m e s i s ta n d i n f r o n t o f m y c l a s s a n d s ay,
“ c ’ m o n ! ” a n d y o u d o n ’ t.
f o r t H o s e o f y o u w H o s at i n m y c l a s s a n d s e n t t e x t
m e s s a g e s , o r d i d fa c e b o o k , y o u Lost y o u r c H a n c e .
connect t o y o u r fa m i l i e s .
i f y o u b i c k e r o r a r g u e w i t H y o u r fa m i ly, w e l l t H e n w H at
g o o d ’ s t H at ?
“my grandma buys us pajamas for
christmas every year. it’s so lame.”
connect t o t H e P e o P l e a r o u n d y o u .
“um, i’d Like a
grandepLease.”
*d o n ’ t b e a d i c k .
connect t o y o u r c o m m u n i t y.
y o u g e t m o r e o u t o f i t , b e c a u s e i t ’ s H u m a n c o n ta c t.
a “ c ” P l ay i n P e r s o n i s a t H o u s a n d t i m e s b e t t e r t H a n
a “ c ” P l ay o n t v.
i fell in love with my guy at the worst
dance recital we ever saw.
connect t o t H e s c H o o l .
w H o w e n t t o t H e i n t e r n at i o n a l f e s t i va l ?
w H o at t e n d e d t H e t e n n i s o nl e c t u r e w e d n e s d ay n i g H t ?
j u a r e z vs. f r a n k g e H r yc ’ m o n .
connect t o m e .
i w r i t e o n e H e l l u va l e t t e r o f r e c o m m e n d at i o n .
connect t o w H at y o u l o v e .
if you’re bored in classes.
if you’re here because
you’re being forced. if you
just don’t like your major.
if you’re miserable .. .
tHen wHy
are you Here?
b e i n t e r e s t e d i n i t , o r d o i t e v e n i f y o u d o n ’ t l i k e i t .
s o m e o f y o u a r e H e r e , b e c a u s e y o u d o n ’ t wa n t t o g o t o a
“ r e a l” s c H o o l . s o m e o f y o u a r e n ’ t t r y i n g
H a r d e n o u g H t o b e g o o d at i t .s o m e o f y o u a r e t r y i n g , b u t
y o u H at e w H at y o u d o .
pLease stop
wasting every body’s time.
ta k e a y e a r i n t H e P e a c e c o r P s o r e u r r a i l i n g o r r e n t i n g a
m o t o r c y c l e t o t r av e l u P t H e c o a s t. d o t H at b e f o r e y o u
s t u m b l e t H r o u g H a n o t H e r y e a r disconnected . w H y g o i n t o d e b t f o r n o t H i n g ? w H y
n o t ta k e t i m e t o f i n d w H at y o u reaLLy wa n t t o d o ?
before you
appLy to grad scHooL
...
l e a r n t o c a r e a b o u t s o m e t H i n g , b e f o r e y o u wa s t e
a n o t H e r y e a r n o t c a r i n g a b o u t anytHing .
g o i n g t o g r a d s c H o o l i n s t e a d o f a c t u a l ly d o i n g s o m e t H i n g
i s a H u g e wa s t e o f t i m e . H u g e .s t o P ta k i n g u P s Pa c e i n m y
c l a s s b e c a u s e y o u d o n ’ t wa n t t o a c t u a l ly g r o w u P.
“ l o v e w H at y o u d o ”d o e s n ’ t m e a n y o u s H o u l d d o
s o m e t H i n g t H at ’ s e a s y.
it’s not ice cream.
there’s not enough ice
cream jobs in the world.
some of you are actually
going to have to work
to find fulfillment.
wHo is sHe?a n d w H y d o w e c a r e a b o u t H e r ?
susan boyLe.i t ’ s t H e b i g s c e n e i n s o m e o n e ’ s
l i f e , a n d i t ’ s n o t a P l ay.
the judge is crying because
she’s moved by the music,
but also she knows that
person has never had a
chance .. . until . . .
m a k i n g f u n o f e v e r y t H i n g isn’t H e a lt H y.
m a k i n g f u n o f e v e r y t H i n g a n d n o t c a r i n g a b o u t a n y t H i n g
b e c o m e s P r e t t y e m P t y.
t H e r e a s o n i t ’ s i m P o r ta n t, i s b e c a u s e w H e n i t ’ s y o u , y o u
wa n t s o m e o n e t o c a r e b a c k .
y o u wa n t s o m e o n e t o connect w i t H y o u .
empatHy rocks.
HigH scHooL:more of a cHaL-Lenge?
y o u s H o u l d e i t H e r b e a n g r y o r a s H a m e d , b u t i t s e e m s l i k e
y o u j u s t d o n ’ t g i v e a s H * t.
w e ’ r e t e a c H i n g y o u t H i n g st H at y o u s H o u l d ’ v e b e e n
ta u g H t i n j u n i o r H i g H e n g l i s H .
ta k e o w n e r s H i P o f y o u r e d u c at i o n , a n d o f c r i t i q u e s .
pLeasedon’t empty
tHe drawer.
connections.
t H e r e ’ s a m i s c o n c e P t i o n t H at e v e r y o n e ’ s m a d e i t o n H i s o r
H e r o w n . t H i n k H o n e s t ly a b o u t H o w m a n y P e o P l e w o r k e d t o
g e t y o u H e r e .
y o u o w e i t t o a l l t H e m i n i m u m wa g e w o r k e r s w H o c a n ’ t H av e
a n y t H i n g b e t t e r .
you owe it to the 8-year-old
kids at the moses jackson
center who don’t have cameras
for their photography class.
you owe it to the security
guard you see at the
building every day. you owe
it to your grandma.
you owe it to me.
wa r n i n g :y o u ’ r e a b o u t t o H e a rs o m e r e a l ly b a d w o r d s .
cHuckie: no. no, no no no. f*ck you,
you don’t owe it to yourself man,
you owe it to me. cuz tomorrow i’m
gonna wake up and i’ll be 50, and i’ll
still be doin’ this sh*t. and that’s
all right. that’s fine. i mean, you’re
sittin’ on a winnin’ lottery tick-
et. and you’re too much of a p*ssy
to cash it in, and that’s bullsh*t.
‘cause i’d do f*ckin’ anything to
have what you got. so would any of
these f*ckin’ guys. it’d be an insult
to us if you’re still here in 20 years.
hangin’ around here is a f*ckin’
waste of your time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoffkvcdlQo&feature=related
ben affLeck,
use more
words.
t o n y at t H e m o s e s j a c k s o n c e n t e r i s g o n n a H av e t o w o r k t e n t i m e s H a r d e r t o g e t w H at
a n y o f y o u H av e .
a n d y o u ’ r e g o n n a waste i t ?
you owe
it to tony.
wHo is miroslav
ticHy?fa i r wa r n i n g : H e ’ s a ta d o n t H e creepy s i d e .
i f y o u ’ r e reaLLy
c o n n e c t e d , t H e n y o u w i l l s l a s H s o m e o f y o u r d r a m a .
i don’t want any of you guys to ever ask for
a grade that you didn’t earn.
i f y o u g e t t o c l a s s a n d y o u d o n ’ t H av e y o u r w o r k , d o n ’ t
t r y t o Pa s s o f f s o m e s H * t y o u s c r a P e d t o g e t H e r b e f o r e H a n d .
own up to it. e x c u s e s d o n ’ t c u t i t .
disconnect f r o m e x c u s e s .
“ i b r o k e m y f o o t, a n d i c a n ’ t g e t t o c l a s s .”
ba.Lo.
ney.
m y c o m P u t e r c r a s H e d .i H av e “ f e m a l e P r o b l e m s .”
i H a d t o m e e t m y l a n d l o r d .i d i d n ’ t k n o w a n y t H i n g wa s d u e .
i f o r g o t.i o v e r s l e P t.
m y g i r l f r i e n d c o o k e d . * * ( f o o d P o i s o n i n g . )
m y g r a n d m a d i e d . a g a i n .
so? wHat are
you gonna do about i t?
i f y o u H o n e s t ly d o n ’ t wa n t t o b e H e r e , t H e n pLease
ta k e a b r e a k . l e av e .
t H e s e connections
m ay a c t u a l ly H e l P y o u l i v e l o n g e r .
a l o t l o n g e r .
c a s e s t u d y : o l d m i n n e s o ta n u n s .
t H o s e w H o m a i n ta i n e d a n i n t e r e s t i n H o b b i e s ,
c r a f t s a n d a c t i v i t i e s t H r o u g H o u t t H e i r l i v e s w e r e
a l s o t H o s e w H o l i v e d t H e l o n g e s t a n d s t r o n g e s t.
c r o s s w o r d P u z z l e s g r a n t
l o n g l i f e .
a s u r e r i va l ._ _ _
3
a s u r e r i va l ._ _ _ban.
3
a rescue tower._ _ _
3
a rescue tower._ _ _
3
aaa.
a n u m b e r o f P e o P l e .
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
9
a n u m b e r o f P e o P l e .
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
9
n o v o c a i n e .
connect t o t H e w o r l d .
general knowledge tests
who wrote swan lake?
who’s our mayor?
name someone in the
current administration’s
cabinet.
b e m o r e l i k e
f r a n c e .
d o w H at y o u t H i n k i s r i g H t.
l e t s r e a l ly connect w i t H e a c H o t H e r .
g r a b y o u rscad id a n d b u b b l e s .
Let’s go. b r o u g H t e n ’ s
f i r s t - e v e r and b i g g e s t - e v e r
b u b b l e Pa r a d e .
and i don’t mean HaLf-
ass it.
tHe pepsi
canwisdom.
Q&a.