Happiness

for when you are dreading the Holidays

This tool is part of a series on happiness for when you are unhappy.

This series come from a different perspective: that it is important to have all your feelings, to allow yourself to go through the grief process to find happiness, and that one can get stuck in anger, sadness, depression or other stages in the grief process if one does not allow oneself to fully feel one's feelings.

Often we do not know why we are unhappy when we feel we should be happy.

This tool starts with reasons for unhappiness. As you read it, you may discover the source of your happiness.

Holidays can be hard.

They can be a reminder of where you are and where you wish you were.

Holidays can be a reminder of things that happened that you wish had not happened.

Holidays can be a reminder of things that did not happen that you wish had happened.

Holidays can be hard because of people you do not want to be with…

…but you feel you should want to be with.

Holidays can be hard because of people you want to be with…

…but you can not be with.

Holidays can be a reminder of all the things that happened that you did not want to happen.

And all the things that did not happen that you wanted to happen.

It is hard to be happy when your family is unhappy.

It is hard to be happy when there is a disconnect between your expectations and the way things really are.

Take time to think about your expectations

How would things be if they were exactly as you wanted them.

Explore how it would feel if things were exactly as you wanted.

Take time to grieve.

It’s okay to be sad for the holidays.

Be gentle with yourself.

Give yourself the time and space to feel your feelings.

Give yourself permission to be sad.

Watch sad movies or read sad books and let yourself cry. Allow yourself in and out of tears, sadness, calm and happiness without judgment.

Seek Support:Attend al-anon meetings, grief recovery support groups, group therapy or join a spiritual community or group that restores habitat in local parks.

Talk about your feelings

Set realistic expectations

Try not to compare your holidays with the past or other people’s holidays.

Instead of putting all your energy into one day, spread your holiday activities across many days.

Find holiday activities that are free.

Volunteer your time and help others in your area.

Volunteer at food banks on days other than December 24 and 25.Find other ways to volunteer with volunteermatch.org

Turn a window shopping expedition into a photo shooting session.

Share your photos online as a gift to other creatives:

morguefile.comflickr.com

deviantart.comfacebook or google+

Try something new.

Be a tourist in your own town or take a day trip to a nearby town.

Reconnect with long lost friends.

Use facebook, linked-in, your high school or college website or online searches to connect with old friends.

You deserve to be happyTake the Gross National Happiness Index

happycounts.org