Hello there! I’m

Dominee, the err…

hm… the Princess of

Self Love! (I don’t

think I’ve quite

worked my way up to

Queen.)

I am a huge

advocate of self

love.

I want everyone to feel it. I want to

wave my magic wand (… er… or would it

be scepter?) and help you on your way to

having a massive amount of love and

respect for who you are right now. You

deserve it.

You absolutely, totally, and completely

deserve to look in the mirror love what

you see. So the big question!

What is self love? Self Love is an easy concept: Loving

exactly who you are, where you are, in

every way. Your body, your spirit, your

mind, everything.

You let yourself see the beautiful,

sparkly, shiny light that is you. You have

high self-esteem, you feel good about who

you are, and you love your body in all of

its imperfect glory.

That’s a tall order, huh?

It’s hard to love everything. It’s hard to

move past the mistakes you’ve made in

the past, the way others have

treated you or perceived you, the

physical imperfections that you see every

day in the mirror.

It’s possible. I promise.

When your life is lacking self love you’ll

see a whole host of problems in your life.

Maybe you feel like a doormat because

everyone treats you badly and takes

advantage of you. Maybe you feel lonely

and isolated because you don’t let

anyone get close to you.

You might suffer from body image issues,

hating what you see and what your body

looks like, or maybe your self-esteem is

so low that you are hard pressed to like

anything about yourself.

The first step to fixing all of those

things, and believe me, it’s like the first

step in a long path of many steps, is

wanting to change, to make your life

different. You have to believe that you’re

worth the effort and that you deserve to

be happy. Sometimes it’s a really hard

path. It’s surprising how hard it is to

stay positive, and to love yourself when

it doesn’t come naturally.

Here are 26 steps to help you on your

way.

Accept everything about yourself. Right now, I could tell you that you should love and accept yourself just how you are,

and that's true to some extent. You are deserving of love just as you are in this

moment, no matter how flawed or broken you perceive yourself to be.

Look at yourself and look at your life and ask yourself:

What's stopping you from accepting yourself right now?

Sit with that answer and feel it out. If there’s something that you don’t love about

yourself, accept that it’s part of you but also accept that you have the power to

change it.

Accept exactly who, and how, you are, but also be willing and open to changing those

things that need changed.

All of the power lies within you.

Boundaries are something that you need. It is okay to tell people "no". It is okay to stand up for yourself and speak out when

someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated.

Sometimes in life we come across people who push our boundaries, or make us wish that

we had boundaries to begin with. You know the ones, the ones that we allow to put us

down because we don't want to be confrontational or cause problems. The ones that

say or do things that rub us the wrong way and make us feel uncomfortable. Who take

from us without giving back and make us feel used. We all know someone like that.

You might let it go, you might make excuses, even justify it and blame yourself, but

there's something that you ought to know:

No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.

Make boundaries and stick to them.

Care for yourself + be compassionate. Remember to treat yourself just as well as you treat other people. You are as

deserving of the love and kindness that you give the people in your life. One of the

misconceptions about self love is that it is a selfish act.

Selfishness is defined as: Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily

with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

Now, I'm all for you being devoted to you, and of course you should be concerned with

your own interests, but true selfishness is usually born out of ego and out of a

complete lack of regard for other people.

When you make the space to love yourself, you make more space to love others. Feeling

good about yourself and treating yourself well, literally has the power to change your

life and the lives of the people that love you, in a good way.

Don’t buy into thinking you have to be perfect. Don’t think that you have to fit some vegan-eating, yoga-doing, zen-and-meditation,

kind of person to be all into the self love thang. All you gotta do is love yourself for

you, no matter what kind of person you are. You’re also allowed to make mistakes,

have imperfections, and otherwise be human.

If you wait until you are perfect to love yourself then you will be waiting forever.

No matter what, you're worth loving. You hold so much awesomeness right inside of you,

so much love for other people, so many big dreams and hopes and if all that isn't

worth loving, then I don't know what is.

Stop looking for reasons not to love yourself and start concentrating on all of the

reasons why you are so freakin’ awesome.

Engage in your life. “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” - Oscar Wilde

Don’t let life pass you by, don’t just sit back and exist while life passes you by,

engage in it, live it. Be the main character in your own story.

Don’t live for other people, don’t spend so much time in your role as partner, or

mother, or business woman that you forget to be YOU. That you forget to do the

things that make yourself happy, the things that nourish you. Your life is meant to be

lived by you. You don’t have to measure up to anyone’s expectations of what your life

should be.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do

than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

Free yourself from the past. You are not defined by your past. There’s always time to make a new beginning.

The thing about the past is it is there both to teach us and to torture us at the

same time. There's a trick to it. The past is there to be learned from, the key here

is learn. This does not mean that you get to bring up the past to make yourself feel

bad or to live a life full of regrets.

Learn the lesson and then move joyfully on, putting it behind you.

Self Love is all about being kind to yourself and to do that you must not hold on too

tightly to your mistakes. Acknowledge them and then let them go off into the night.

They are not for you anymore.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the

closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller

Give yourself what you need. You know what is right for you. Seek your own council. Be still and quiet and wait for

your inner wise-woman(person) to point you in the right direction.

You don't need anyone to make your decisions for you or to tell you what to do. Your

heart knows.

Check in with yourself from time to time, make sure that you’re on the right path,

and make sure that you’re giving yourself what you need -- when you need it.

Form a bond of trust with yourself and your decisions.

This can be difficult, I know.

The more you begin to rely on your intuition the more you will trust your own feelings

and your own decisions. This is a cornerstone of self love. To love thyself is to know

thyself and vice-versa. Remember to embrace your own wisdom, your own power, and your

own ability to change your life in positive and meaningful ways.

Happiness is yours to have if you want it. You can go through life miserable or you can make the choice to fix what’s broken. Do

the work, know what you need to do to find happiness. If you have serious issues with

depression, know that it’s okay to get help. If there’s something that’s keeping you

from happiness then be brave enough to do what you have to do to work through it or

overcome it.

Don’t let other people steal your happiness. I cannot stress this one enough. It's basic

human human-ness to let other people affect us but we can dial it down, if not turn

it off. We can choose not to play with the drama-llamas. We can choose not to

participate in their drama. (You really can!)

Ignore the negative posts on social media. Don't even bother yourself enough to

perpetuate the negatives and post negative things back. Stay away from crazy-makers

and make your own rules for happiness and stand by them.

Independence isn’t something to be afraid of. Don’t be afraid of your independence and don’t be afraid to be alone. You can laugh

aloud while reading in bed, yelling at book characters, and there's no one to mind. You

dance to the kitchen, naked, while singing a made up song, and it's cool. You can go

on road trips and listen to your favorite music. You can order a pizza with just olives

and mushrooms because it's your favorite and no one else's opinion matters. You can

go to the bookstore for books and coffee and stay as long as you want. You can go

to the movies and see whatever you want and eat popcorn and you don't have to

share.

Aloneness and independence are wonderful. Those traits teach you to be comfortable

with who you are, in your own skin.

That is an essential tool. Start asserting your independence and don’t be afraid of

it!

Just take things one day at a time. One of the things that comes up a lot of the time with my peoples is why does it

hurt to change? When you start changes, good changes and positive changes, why do

things start sucking even more? Because you are detoxing.

When you give up the bad-for-you-things, whether they are physical or emotional, your

body and your mind rebels. If there's something that you're working on, something good-

for-you, and you keep seeing all of this negative gunk coming up in your life as a

result, acknowledge that you're detoxing. It's allowing you to get it out of your system,

to deal with it, or to learn new ways to deal with it. Just take things one day at a

time.

Change doesn’t happen overnight and good changes take time to stick and become

routine. If you are dealing with resistance just take things one day at a time. You

get a fresh new beginning tomorrow.

Kindness is a gift that you should give yourself. The way you talk to, and about, yourself is a very important part of Self Love. When

someone compliments you how does it make you feel? Do you ever compliment yourself?

Positive self-talk is probably something that you've done before even if you weren't

really paying attention.

When you walk by the mirror and see you are looking especially darling you might say

out loud "I look pretty today!" When you're having a bad day and you tell yourself "I'm

going to be okay, everything is going to work out."

That's positive self-talk and it's good for your psyche! Stop telling yourself that you're

fat, that you're unattractive, that everything sucks, that you are weak, that nothing

is ever going to go your way... Be kind to yourself! There are so many negative things

that we tell ourselves and sometimes we don't even realize that we're doing it. It can

so easily become a habit and it does nothing but drag you down. Change that sort of

behavior. Be kind.

Love yourself, it’s uber important. So you might already love yourself (and that's totally fantastic) but do you say it out

loud and often? There's a point to saying it, it reinforces those feelings, it lets them

sink in, and it helps you to really believe it. Write yourself a love letter and read it

when you’re having a really crappy day. Come up with long, grand, speeches about how

awesome and amazing you are and how much you love yourself and why you’re totally

and absolutely worth loving.

Everyday tell yourself "I love you." Be silly about it if you want. Say it while you're brushing your teeth, make it into a song, sing it while dancing around, say it silently

in your head, while you're looking in the mirror, before you go to sleep.

Just say it!

“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and

affection.” -Buddha

Make time for yourself. Find out what makes you happy and go do it, go and have a delicious date with

yourself, make spending time with yourself a priority.

We all need something different. But one thing that I am convinced that we all need

is time with ourselves. It's muchos importante to get to know yourself and get to know

what makes you happy. If you have a very busy day ahead of you, try waking up twenty

or thirty minutes earlier than you have to just to fit in some "you" time.

Do something that you want to do, something that makes you feel happy and joyful.

Take an extra-long bath, or sit outside and watch the sun rise.

Lay in bed and have sweet, sweet, daydreams. Make time to take yourself on a

wonderful date. Notice where your journey is taking you.

Say "no" to demands on your time that drain you. Treat yourself right, end the self-

hate and the criticism.

Never let the voices in your head… (you do hear them right?)… tell you that you aren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or

thin enough.

When you are feeling like you aren't “enough” I want to let you know something. You

are.

You are enough.

I don't let the not-enough's keep me from trying. You shouldn't either. If there's

something you want to do right now, do it.

Believe in yourself.

Believe in your worthiness.

Believe in your inherent good-enough-ness because one day, maybe years from now, you

are going to look back and you are going to see how worthy you truly were and how you

were good enough in every way that matters, and you are going to regret each time

you told yourself you weren’t.

Don't waste minutes, hours, or days feeling like you aren't enough.

Optimism is a great tool. Even when things sucks... 100% of the time it gets better. (eventually) That's optimism for ya. It may take a little while, but it works. Optimism isn’t all

fluffy bunny whoowhoo hocus pocus… optimism has to be based in reality.

Positive thinking is the bridge between what is and what can be. You have to seek

balance. Optimism based on believing in yourself and your abilities in a realistic way

but in a way that also looks on the bright side.

It's about having faith in yourself and giving yourself a pep-talk. Positive thinking

gives you the space to quiet the doubts so that you can see what you're really made

of. It's the umbrella that stops you from getting soaked by the rain, even though

sometimes you have to cast it aside and get a little wet.

Be optimistic, look on the bright side, and allow the sun to shine on you. When you

really get down to it, life is good.

Please yourself. Wake up in the morning and ask yourself:

"What do I need today to make me feel happy?"

Sometimes the answer to that is so easy and simple. Maybe it's a coffee from

Starbucks, or a chat with a really good friend, or an hour snuggled up in bed

underneath blankets with a romance novel or your favorite person. Most of the time

the things that give us the greatest amount of joy are simple.

Hugs make for wonderful moments of joy as well.

Joy: A feeling of great pleasure and happiness. We can find joy and pleasure within

(and outside of) ourselves in a variety of ways. You should know yourself inside and

out. You should know how to take care of yourself, how to make yourself happy, and

how to do sweet things for yourself. You'd be amazed at how delighted you can make

yourself feel.

Quit hating on your body. Decide that society's opinion about your body doesn’t matter starting right now. Don't

buy into magazines that will help you get the "perfect swim suit body" be happy with

your body the way it is.

Accept it the way it is.

Love it the way it is.

If you need to lose/gain weight, do it, but not at the expense of loving your body as

it is today.

You might not have your "perfect" body but that doesn't mean that you can't love it

anyway. Adopt an attitude of unconditional love towards your body. Love it now and love

it 20lb from now. Remember that your body is just a small part of who you are. At your

funeral no one is going to stand up and say "Boy did she look good in those size 2

jeans." Your personality is the sum of who you are. Your personality is the reason

someone is going to love you. What you give to the world is a lot more important than

the size and shape of your bum or boobs, just sayin'.

Realize that you are part of Great Spirit. Or God or Goddess or Universal Energy, or the Source, whatever name you call it. There comes a point in life when your thinking begins to change.

When you realize that all of those things that you used to hate about yourself really

don't matter. You realize that you are part of something great and big and lovely and

worthwhile.

Have you reached that point where you see something miraculous within yourself?

“I found god in myself and I loved her I loved her fiercely” - Ntozake Shange

I encourage you to find that spark of Divinity inside of yourself. To recognize it, to

accept it, and to keep it close to your heart.

There is something miraculous and celestial about you. All of those things that you

admire about the Universe dwell within you. They are part of you and you are part of

them. You are part of God.

Sexy is something you can be at any size. Enjoy your body, enjoy your curves, your plains, your hills, your valleys, the way that your skin feels, the way that you smell, the sound of your voice, the shapes and sizes

of your scars, and the freckles that decorate your body.

All of those things about you are beautiful and sexy and worth loving.

Once you decide to love those things about yourself other people will love them about

you too. When you own how beautiful your body is, when you have confidence in how your

body moves, other people respect that and admire that.

I want to share with you an excerpt from the poem "Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou:

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Trust your intuition. Listen to what it tells you. I want to lead you to that wellspring of wisdom inside of you. It's not my job to tell

you that doing *this* or doing *that* will make you into the person you want to be. I

can't ever know what is right for you, but I can help you find that voice within you

that does. I can encourage you to listen. I can support you in listening to your own

heart.

Always trust your intuition, even when it feels like a hard decision, even when ignoring

what your intuition says would be easier, simpler, and not as much work. Don’t ignore

that beautiful part of you that knows just what to do. Don’t stifle that voice, even

when you’re scared of it. Be brave and listen. In the end, life will be so much easier.

The hard part, the part that hangs us up, is when our intuition tells us to do what

we don't really want to do.

When it tells us things that will hurt, that will be difficult, we have to listen anyway.

Understand that struggles make you stronger. Every struggle that you go through makes you stronger. You might wish with every fiber of your being that someone was there to stop the suffering (most times that only

person that can stop it is you) but surviving it makes you stronger. It makes you more

prepared to face the next struggle.

Even if you don't see it now, or a year from now, or five years from now, doesn't mean there’s not layers of strength buried under there somewhere.

So often we hide our struggles behind layers of shame, fear, and guilt and that stops

us from seeing the strength and the other gifts that come out of those situations.

To stand up and say, "This is what I went through. This is what I learned. Now I am

stronger." Is one of the greatest gifts of wisdom you can give yourself and other

people going through the very same thing.

Voice what you want and what you need. Don’t be afraid to tell people if you need something. Maybe you need space, or maybe

you need time with them, maybe you need for them to listen to you, or maybe you want

to hear what they really think. In your relationships, friendships, and partnerships,

make sure that you are being vocal about your needs so that they can be met.

The people in your life are not mind readers. No matter how well you think they know

you, or how well you wish they knew you, you still have to do your part.

You still have to open up. Don’t settle for what you don’t deserve. If someone is

treating you in a way that doesn’t feel good to you, physically, emotionally, or

otherwise, speak up about it. It is more powerful to speak up than to silently resent

someone and engage in passive-aggressive behavior.

Your voice matters.

Worth is not defined by how people feel about you. It really isn’t. First off, if you don’t value yourself, you’re probably surrounding yourself

with assholes and that’s just going to further perpetuate how you feel about yourself.

When you start feeling good about yourself then you start surrounding yourself with

people who are more likely to build you up instead of tear you down but that doesn’t

change the fact that other people’s opinions are just that, their opinion.

You are under no obligation to listen to or honor anyone’s opinion about you but your

own. If someone is not seeing your worth that doesn’t mean that you don’t have any.

As a human being, a beautiful collection of cells and blood and bone, you have worth,

but it’s up to you to recognize it and use it to your fullest potential.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

X-rated Ah ha! The actual self love (*wink*) portion of the self love book. Our sex lives are a

very important part of who we are. Our views about sex are influenced by every other

aspect of ourselves, especially our self-worth, self-esteem, and body image.

Sex should first and foremost be about you, your comfort, and what makes you feel

good. So often, women especially, sacrifice their wants and needs for some sort of

physical affection. Don’t. Acknowledge what you want and need.

Also, when you’re with a partner, there's something to be said for giving, and

something to be said for receiving. Be generous and accept generosity in return, it

doesn’t make you selfish and you shouldn’t feel guilty.

Masturbation isn't wrong and it isn't dirty, it's just one way of many, many, many, to

express love and appreciation for yourself and your body and to embrace your sensuality.

It's cool if you do it and cool if you don't.

Yes and no both need to be part of your vocabulary.

If you constantly say “no” to everything that life has to offer you then you’re missing

out! Say yes to those rare opportunities that come your way and don’t fear that you

aren’t good enough or talented enough or smart enough. Say “yes” to getting what you

want out of life. On the flip-side, make sure that you are honoring your needs, your

boundaries, and your energy by saying “no” when you need to. When you are able to say

"no" to other people it means that you are putting yourself first, you may even feel

selfish, but you know what it really is?

Creating clear boundaries and loving yourself and that my sweetling, is necessary for

living a happy life.

When someone asks you to do something tune into your intuition. What does your gut

say? What is your first instinct? Go with that, that is listening to the truth of your

heart.

Zest for life! Do you have it? Zest: (noun) Great enthusiasm and energy. A quality of excitement and piquancy.

Synonyms relish - gusto – savor.

Do you have a zest for life? Let me ask you a question, do you enjoy your life? Really,

really, enjoy it?

Create a life around yourself that you adore, that you love, that makes you happy and

that feels good and right to you. Making a life is not to be confused with making a

living.

Making a living is all that stuff you do to pay your bills and keep your family fed and

housed, making a life is what happens in between those moments. Are you making the

most of it? Is that time spent between the responsibilities and the obligations making

you happy? Is it making you joyful? Do you look forward to it? Create a life around you

that’s full of love, from yourself and from others, make a commitment to give yourself

the best life possible. That is self love.

Want more Self Love? Check out the Self Love

Workbook!

This planner and workbook

was created to remind you

how important it is to add

Self Care into your life. To

embrace how deeply you

deserve to be loved.

Lots of pages o' awesome!

My Self Love Story, What

Self Love is, how Self Care can rock your world, and how you can do it easily and

sustainably.

Want more of me? Dominee is the Magic Maker at BlessingManifesting.com. She

has made it her mission in life to inspire others to find love

for themselves. She loves to share her passion for creativity,

magic, spirituality, and self-love with the world. Her goal in life

is to help people realize that they don't have to be perfect to

be worthy of love, to follow their big dreams, and to make a

difference.

Visit the blog for more articles on self love and living a happy

and joyful life. You’ll also find articles on anxiety, depression,

journaling, and much more! You can also find Dominee in the following places:

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/BlessingManifesting

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Selfloveguide This e-book is © to Dominee at BlessingManifesting.com. Share with all your friends! Feel free to share the download

and pass it around but pretty please give me credit! I want to thank my amazing friends and fans on Facebook and

Twitter who make life completely awesome.