How Balanced Am I?Introducing, from Keuwl Labs…
The ‘Three Wishes’ just got better
Upgrade-Ya
Isn’t that a song?
No, that’s Upgrade U by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z.
Upgrade-Ya is a brilliant new product from Keuwl Laboratories that essentially makes sure that you are perfect and exactly who you want to be.
No longer will you ever need to wish upon a star or blow on dandelions. Upgrade-Ya can make you fatter or thinner, taller or shorter, prettier or uglier, with little or no side effects!
Sounds cool, but please elaborate a
bit.
Of course.
Upgrade-YaComparison
Comparison
Upgrade-Ya Nature
Instant results Changes according to
your desire, not nature’s
Expensive Changes can be
duplicated, erased, undone and enhanced
Unique
Takes time Unpredictable and not
necessarily according to your taste
Free Once something is
done, it can’t be undone
The same for everyone
But if you can do all that at a press of a
button…
…won’t you become really unfit and unhealthy?
No comment.
Let me put it this way -
Upgrade-YaBenefits and Disadvantages
Upgrade-Ya
Benefits Disadvantages
Boosts self-esteem Easier to fit in with
people Easier to make new
friends Makes you feel happier
with your image Stops things like
anorexia through peer pressure
Makes you unfit Makes you unhealthy Natural development
and growth is stunted Natural character
building is destroyed Makes you lose that
sense of self that makes each and everyone unique.
Upgrade-YaArguments For and Against
You will only be healthy on the outside, not the inside. You can’t change that, just your outward appearance.
So, what if Upgrade-Ya really doesn’t make you more healthy and good looking, because inside you will be feeling rubbish? Wouldn’t this affect your appearance as well?
And self-esteem. If your self-esteem is apparently being boosted by this, wouldn’t it just go down again because of the sickness?
Argument Against
But what about the benefits? You can get higher self-esteem for more than one place, you know. More friends will give you more respect for yourself, ergo, higher self-esteem.
Isn’t it better to feel good about yourself than feel like you constantly need to improve?
Happiness is important. If you have to change yourself to feel good about yourself, then that is entirely your own choice.
Argument For
Aha! But your friends won’t be true friends. They won’t like you for who you are, only for who you want to be. It is better to have real friends who respect you the way you are, and don’t try to change you just so you can fit in. You would be living a fake life that way, and wouldn’t be the real you.
While I agree that the happiness of the individual in question is important, nothing is so important that you have to change yourself drastically to achieve it.
Argument Against
The point is, how can you be balanced without earning it? Answer: you can’t be. Because nothing else can affect the changes wrought by nature, it gives people drive. If you want to change the way you look, you have to work for it. Upgrade-Ya is just another way of cheating nature. People thought immortality would be a good idea: it isn’t. The same principles apply to Upgrade-Ya.
At the moment, without factors like Upgrade-Ya, I believe that I am relatively well balanced.
Exercise: I play tennis and hockey, and I enjoy swimming. Not laps, though. I also walk/scooter to school every day.
Food: My favourite food is vegetarian spring rolls – go figure. My average lunch is salad, fruit and Milo.
Drinks: I don’t like any fizzy drinks, so that counts in my favour.
How Balanced Am I, Then?
That is my answer to the Unit Question. I hope this makes people understand why changing yourself is not always a good idea.
Besides, imagine a world full of identical people.
You might think “how do you get to that
conclusion?”, but if everyone had the same concept of beauty (as they would undeniably have) then everyone
would want to look like that.
Result:Compared to that, identifying identical twins is a piece of cake.With whipped cream, sprinkles and a bucket of cherries on the
top.
Thank you.I’ll be here all week. And
the next week. And the next one, and the next one, and the next
three, and the next two, and the next one.
Acknowledgements
Slideshow: Kim HeeleyProduct (Upgrade-Ya): Kim HeeleyKeuwl Labs: Kim HeeleyText: Kim HeeleyFacts: Kim Heeley’s Health Workbook All Ideas: Kim HeeleyPictures: PhotoShop CS4 (Made by Kim
Heeley, original photos from Heeley-Brown photos)
Latin: Lingua Latine Occasionibus Omnibus (Latin For All Occasions) by Henry Beard. A wholly remarkable book.
DisclaimerFrom Keuwl Laboratories
This product is entirely fictitious. Any attempt to sue Miss Heeley will be refuted on the grounds de stella Martis vere venisti. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Keuwl Laboratories