How to Apply Mindfulness to Your Life and Work · everything was always “Good boy” all the way...

How to Help People Connect to Loving Awareness Ram Dass, PhD - Main Session - pg. 1

How to Apply Mindfulness to

Your Life and Work

How to Help People Connect to Loving Awareness:

Expanding Our Capacity to Give and Receive

Unconditional Love

the Main Session with

Ram Dass, PhD and Ruth Buczynski, PhD

National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine


How to Apply Mindfulness to Your Life and Work: Ram Dass, PhD

How to Help People Connect to Loving Awareness: Expanding Our Capacity to Give and Receive Unconditional Love

Table of Contents

(click to go to a page)

How Health Problems Can Sharpen Attunement .................................................... 3

Our Depth for Unconditional Love ......................................................................... 5

The Barrier to Accessing Unconditional Love ......................................................... 6

How Practitioners Can Help Patients to Connect to Loving-Awareness .................. 7

How to Help Patients Overcome the Fear of Dying ................................................ 8

Living is Preparation for Dying ................................................................................ 11

About the Speakers ............................................................................................... 13


Dr. Buczynski: Hello everyone and welcome to this session.

I am Dr. Ruth Buczynski, a licensed psychologist and President of the National Institute for the Clinical

Application of Behavioral Medicine – and I am so excited about all of the ideas we’re going to talk about.

I have a very, very special guest; this is someone whose book I carried around in the seventies – and took

with me every time I moved from one apartment or house to the next – and I still have it today!

I am referring to our expert – this is Ram Dass. He is an eminent Harvard psychologist, a pioneer in

psychedelic research, and an author of many, many books. The one I was referring to was called Be Here

Now; he has written Be Love Now and Still Here along with many others.

So, Ram Dass, thanks for being here. It is so good to have you back and to be with you again.

Dr. Dass: I’m very happy to be back, Ruth.

How Health Problems Can Sharpen Attunement

Dr. Buczynski: You have gone through a lot of adversity in your life. The last time we spoke, you talked about

your stroke and the related health problems that it had created – but you had such an amazing sense of

those problems and said they were a form of grace.

Would you talk about that again – how those health problems have helped you sharpen your attunement to

the present moment?

Dr. Dass: This may repeat itself, but when I had the stroke, everybody around me in the hospital was just

saying, “What a terrible thing,” and they kept repeating and repeating and repeating that.

They all left, except the doctors and the nurses – who also saw this as bad – and somebody put a picture of

my guru on the wall and I said, “Maharaji, I’ve had such a graced life – what’s happening now? You graced my

life – but now the stroke – maybe you went out to lunch or something like that.”

How to Help People Connect to Loving Awareness: Expanding Our Capacity to Give and Receive Unconditional Love

How to Apply Mindfulness to Your Life and Work: Ram Dass, PhD


And he smiled and said, “It’s grace.” From then on, I saw the stroke as grace. Even with my language; I got

used to the silence from this grace. I got grace.

I wrote a book with Paul Gorman called How Can I Help, and now I’d probably write that book and call it How

Do You Help Me?

It got so that I didn’t react negatively to being dependent. In our

culture, dependency is a “no-no.”

The stroke kept me from my golf and sports car and cello, and

things like that, that were outside me, and grace taught me to go inside – to work within.

That was now my spiritual work – inside – and it was grace that did that.

The spiritual work is so much in the present. It is in the present.

Grace taught me not to time-bind – as I mentioned, I am very much in the present. I didn’t compare what I

could do in the past to what I couldn’t do now.

With my stroke, I didn’t worry about the future; I just kept moving and moving to the present moment.

Dr. Buczynski: There are a few things I heard – listening to you just now.

First of all, what a cool dude you were, with the sports car and the golf and the cello – what a Renaissance

man you were…and what a profound change this must have been for you.

Dr. Dass: Yes. Yes. This was extremely profound. It has forced me within.

It turns out that most people, using their mind and their senses, use them from outside. They don't find the

jewel inside because they are dazzled by their senses. It was good to get inside because I kept repeating, “I’m

home. I’m home. I’m home.” I found that inside was home.

And when I witnessed my incarnation in my mind, from my spiritual heart, I saw that my mind was causing

trouble – it was focusing on unfortunate things – pain and problems and things that I couldn’t do.

My mind was the culprit – and it was projecting out; it was

projecting out the environment that I lived in.

Dr. Buczynski: Tell me more. How was the mind projecting out?

“I saw the stroke as grace. I

didn’t react negatively to being

dependent. Grace taught me to

go inside – to work within.”

“Most people, don't find the

jewel inside because they

are dazzled by their senses.”


Dr. Dass: We live in our perceptions of the world – we live in our perceptions. If it is raining, I could say, “Oh,

God, it’s raining” – and it all turns dark; I could say, “Oh, it’s so good for the plants. Oh, it’s so wonderful” –

and it turns the whole scene brilliant.

Our Depth for Unconditional Love

Dr. Buczynski: You have said that all of us have an almost unimaginable depth for unconditional love that is

just waiting for us to find and connect to it. Can you tell us more about that?

Dr. Dass: Yes. Our spiritual heart is a connection to our soul – our soul is

coming from the One.

The One is made up of light, love, compassion, joy and peace. That is in all of us. That is in all of us. If you

want peace, you go inside – and you will find peace. It is the same with love.

The inside is the God within, and the God within showers us with unconditional love.

I met my guru and he did two things: he first showed his powers, the power of the Sikhi’s by reading my mind

– this man from the Himalayas was telling me how my mother died, by

(ruptured) spleen in Boston – and then he shouted, “That’s power.”

I sat down on the grass – he was just above me at a table – and I said, “Oh,

God, I don't want anybody to read my mind. Oh, my God…No…It was about twelve things…I didn’t want

anybody to know! Most people have that.

Then I opened my eyes and I looked up at him, and he was looking at me with unconditional love –

unconditional love.

It was interesting…I had never received unconditional love. My mother and father would say, “Good boy;”

everything was always “Good boy” all the way through.

He (my guru) didn’t care. He didn’t care – he just loved me so inside.

That changed me – that has changed me. I had an airline ticket in my pocket for two days after that visit to go

to New York, and it was six months (that I stayed) in India. It was six months and two days – that was how

“The God within

showers us with

unconditional love.”

“Our spiritual heart

is a connection to

our soul.”


powerful that love was.

The Barrier to Accessing Unconditional Love

Dr. Buczynski: What would you say is the biggest barrier to accessing (unconditional love)? If we all have

that inside of us, what is the biggest barrier to accessing it?

Dr. Dass: Our mind.

We can’t access unconditional love because we don't bring awareness to our soul. If we think of the planes of

consciousness, we are, Ruth, on this plane of consciousness – we are bodies, we are minds…

The soul is on another realm of consciousness. We can’t get that realm of consciousness because this realm

of consciousness dazzles us – we are so used to it.

For example, we are souls and we are in an incarnation. We are in our bodies. We are in the human

incarnation.

Ever since we were born, everybody around us believed that we are that incarnation. They all had roles – the

role of mother, the role of father, the doctor…they pinned that incarnation on us: “You’re a baby. Oh, you’re

a baby.”

But we’re souls – we have come to this incarnation for training. We might have been a lama in a previous

birth – but still we come to baby… and we have bought our incarnation.

Dr. Buczynski: Tell me, though, most of us haven't had a stroke, and we don't wish for a stroke.

How can we acquire that exquisite sensitivity to the present that the stroke has brought to you?

Dr. Dass: First of all, I don't wish anybody a stroke! That is my path.

But if you start with your ego, which is who you think you are, and go

down into the heart and into the soul, then we are those (heart and soul)

– that’s who we really are. To get from here to there, you start from here:

“I am a Bharti Yogi.” That means I am love-oriented.

“We’re souls – we have

come to this incarnation

for training.”

“The soul is on another

realm of consciousness.”


So, from there to here, “I am…” You can repeat this, starting from the ego, “I am…” You take your finger to

the middle of your chest, and it’s there – loving awareness. Awareness

and love are there.

You say, “I am loving-awareness. I am loving-awareness. I am loving-awareness. I am loving-awareness. I am

loving-awareness.” When you are done, you will be loving-awareness.

Now, the problem is, if you meet somebody on the street and they say, “Who are you?” You don't say,

“Loving-awareness” – you give your name.

Loving awareness is an identity within you. It’s a secret identity: “I am

loving-awareness,” and then you can become loving-awareness.

You will be aware of the Universe, as it manifests – it manifests as

trees and the ocean – and it manifests as love.

It’s like swimming in love. When you’re down here in your soul, in that plane of consciousness, you forget the

fear or anxiety or feeling of inadequacy.

Then, you have the soul. That will all happen with the ego gone – fear, anxiety… – and then love will come.

Dr. Buczynski: So you are saying that the feeling of inadequacy comes from the identification with the ego.

If we can stay away from that – the ego – and focus instead on “I am loving-awareness,” we feel this love

rather than the anxiety, the fear, the inadequacy, and all the rest.

How Practitioners Can Help Patients to Connect to Loving-Awareness

Dr. Buczynski: Now, most of the people on this call are practitioners. They are psychologists, counselors and

physicians; they are emergency room docs, chemotherapy nurses and so many others.

What role can practitioners play in helping patients? Practitioners are not necessarily gurus, but how can we

play a part in helping patients connect?

Dr. Dass: Practitioners are souls – they are souls. If their role is practitioner, they convert from role to soul –

role to soul. Once they are in the soul, they will feel at home – they will feel exquisite.

“Loving awareness is an

identity within you.”

“When you’re down here

in your soul, in that plane

of consciousness, you

forget the fear or anxiety

or feeling of inadequacy.”


I am a spiritual teacher now, and the spiritual teaching is “ego to soul.” That is a spiritual teaching.

It is interesting that a dying person goes from ego to soul. Ego is the first half of the experience, and they look

back. In the last half, they look forward – they move forward to become soul.

The spiritual identity that we have – that each of us has – is buried in the mind or our roles, and then that is

“the role to soul.”

I will tell you that if practitioners approach their patient from their role,

the patient has no option; the patient will be the role of patient – it will

be a role interaction.

If practitioners approach their patient as soul, then the patient reacts as

a soul and their illness is something their bodies understand – but they are not part of their illness. They have

graduated from their ego to their soul.

In other words, the practitioner can help the patient get free of their illness.

How to Help Patients Overcome the Fear of Dying

Dr. Buczynski: What you just said relates to something I had wanted to ask you – and that is how do we help

people who are dying overcome the fear of dying?

Dr. Dass: With the fear of dying – the ego is part of the incarnation and the soul is not; the soul comes from

God – it comes from all previous incarnations – from all.

From previous incarnations, the soul knows – “I’ve done this business of dying so many times!”

I had a conversation with Emanuel, who is somebody who has already

passed on, and I said to Emanuel, “How do I talk to people about death?”

He said, “Well, I think it’s absolutely safe.” That is beautiful – It’s just

humor… and he said, “It’s like taking off a tight shoe.”

Dr. Buczynski: Before you had your stroke, as a healthy man, did you think about death much? Were you

afraid of death?

“If practitioners approach

their patient from their

role, the patient will be

the role of patient – it

will be a role interaction.”

“The ego is part of the

incarnation and the

soul is not; the soul

comes from God.”


Dr. Dass: I’m a soul – I can’t think about death. When I’m a soul, I just don't think the incarnation is ending

my consciousness. My consciousness is going on.

Dr. Buczynski: How do we help the living integrate a sense of death into their perspective in a healthy,

growth-promoting way?

Dr. Dass: If they would shift their identity from ego to soul, that would happen.

We are souls and we are taking an incarnation to learn, but we get caught in thinking of ourselves as the

incarnation.

So, I am a soul and this is one of my incarnations. In this incarnation, I have

the role of Ram Dass – and I’m not Ram Dass – I’m a soul.

You are not Ruth – I’m sorry to have to tell you that – you carry the Ruth symbol, but you’re just a soul.

I am a soul and I look at people as souls. I look at them as souls and I look at them with love.

That goes from heart to heart to heart to heart; it is the learning – from the practitioner to the patient, a wife

to husband, parents to child, and colleagues to the person on the street. Everybody has the soul. Everybody

has it! It is part of God.

If you get caught in your role – you get caught in your perception of

other people as roles.

My guru said to me, “Ram Dass, love everybody.” And I said, speaking

from my ego, “I can’t do that, Maharaji. I just can’t do that. I’m judging up here.” He came up to me, nose to

nose: “Ram Dass, love everybody.”

This is when I came to the soul, and now I see that I love everybody. I love everybody in our audience and I

love them unconditionally. I love them.

I don't love them for what they do as practitioners; I love them behind that. I love even the person I dislike.

I see them as souls. For example, a politician that I dislike, I put him on my puja table, my table with all the

souls – Maharaji and Jesus and all of the souls.

Then I see that I dislike that person because of their incarnation, and I end up being compassionate for that

“We are souls and

we are taking an

incarnation to learn.”

“If you get caught in your

role – you get caught in

your perception of other

people as roles.”


soul taking that incarnation. I find that I love that soul. I am so compassionate for them – for doing the things

they do.

Dr. Buczynski: Does it work?

Dr. Dass: Oh, yes. I end up compassionate for their soul. Yes.

Dr. Buczynski: I don't know if you ever have this experience, but do you ever have a person that you are

sitting next to or who you are with that you don't like? Are you able, in that moment, to see their soul instead

of seeing the irritating things…

Dr. Dass: Yes. There are two things: first of all, I witness my mind, and my mind is this thing that gives

irritation – my mind is judging.

Then I get identified with my witness and I lose my identification with my mind so that he or she bears all

that irritation – but here I am, witnessing it.

Dr. Buczynski: While you are with them, and they’re still at this moment doing what is irritating…

Dr. Dass: That’s their business – that’s their karma – that’s their problem. I’m trying not to change anything.

I’m changing my mind – not their behavior.

Dr. Buczynski: So you’ve given up trying to fix everything.

Dr. Dass: Yes, I have, by fixing everything soul to soul to soul to soul – until the world has oneness.

Everybody is separate within their incarnation – everybody is

separate.

Nation states are separate. We are getting to know how to get out

of our separateness, and that’s fixing the world…

Dr. Buczynski: In the moment that you are with the person who is being irritating, what would it mean,

“getting out of our separateness?”

Dr. Dass: Witnessing our mind. Our mind is the thing that is keeping us separate.

Our minds refuse to accept unconditional love, and because of that, they can’t share unconditional love. They

can’t.

“I’m trying not to

change anything. I’m

changing my mind –

not their behavior.”

“Our minds refuse to accept

unconditional love, and

because of that, they can’t

share unconditional love.”


Once you are on this plane of consciousness, you don't sit next to people with unfortunate incarnations – you

sit next to their soul.

Dr. Buczynski: I think what you just said could help each of us, as

practitioners. One of the things we struggle with is having patients who

are really challenging – and thankfully, not all of our patients are challenging – but some can be really

irritating and really challenging. That is something that can make me lose sleep – I’m always working on,

“How can I feel differently about this person?”

Dr. Dass: That is their karma. The only thing you can change is your mind. They’re living with that karma –

and you don't have to do anything. Treat them and don't worry about their karma.

Living is Preparation for Dying

Dr. Buczynski: Ram Dass, you have said, “How you live your life is preparation for how you die.” What did

you mean by that?

Dr. Dass: By living my life in the present, in the present moment, I will get so I not only accept and love the

present moment, but when the present moment of dying comes, I will have practiced for that moment.

Dr. Buczynski: As we get older and feel more vulnerable, you have said that, “Fear can actually be a chronic

companion that renders old age a living hell.”

I’m wondering: How do we work with fear? I think it’s human; it’s

natural to feel afraid of vulnerability…

Dr. Dass: Ruth, that is your mind speaking. Your mind: “That’s the

way we are, and because of the way we are, we fear.”

But we are not fearful – we are in a fearful incarnation. Conscious

aging is finding this new self that isn’t frightened, and then, where is the fear? Where is the fear? It is on the

other plane, and you deal with that as a movie or, “Boy, she is fearful.”

Then you would say, “I am witnessing this movie.” The witness comes from identifying with the soul on

another level, at another consciousness level. Oh, I wish the audience could just taste that – yum, yum, yum!

“The only thing you can

change is your mind.”

“By living my life in the

present moment, I will get so

I not only accept and love

the present moment, but

when the present moment of

dying comes, I will have

practiced for that moment.”


Dr. Buczynski: I think being with you helps bring us closer to that and see what we could have for ourselves.

Dr. Dass: Yes, and that’s heart to heart to heart to heart. My guru has his seat in another consciousness

level, and he mirrored that in me, and I mirror this to you and your friends

that are listening…It’s really heart to heart to heart. Yes.

Dr. Buczynski: Thank you.

Dr. Dass: Thank you for an excellent interview. I love your audience. I love practitioners – and they don't

even have to be good practitioners!

“Conscious aging is

finding this new self

that isn’t frightened.”


Ram Dass, PhD is a beloved spiritual figure,

inspiring four generations of spiritual seekers. Ram

Dass has made his mark on the world giving teachings

and promoting loving service, harmonious business

practices, and conscious care for the dying.

Be Here Now, Ram Dass’s seminal work, is a

centerpiece of Western articulation of Eastern

philosophy, and how to live joyously a hundred percent

of the time in the present, luminous or mundane.

Ram Dass now resides on Maui, where he shares his

teachings through the internet and through retreats on Maui. His work continues to be a

path of inspiration to his former students and friends as well as young people who are just

discovering the path of Being Here Now.

Ruth Buczynski, PhD has been combining her commitment to mind/body medicine

with a savvy business model since 1989. As the founder

and president of the National Institute for the Clinical

Application of Behavioral Medicine, she’s been a leader

in bringing innovative training and professional

development programs to thousands of health and

mental health care practitioners throughout the world.

Ruth has successfully sponsored distance-learning

programs, teleseminars, and annual conferences for

over 20 years. Now she’s expanded into the ‘cloud,’

where she’s developed intelligent and thoughtfully

researched webinars that continue to grow exponentially.

About the speakers . . .

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