How to be a Great Mentor

How To Be a Great Mentor

Jeremy Cassell and Tom Bird

Topics

What is mentoring? How is mentoring used in business? What are the boundaries around mentoring? What needs to be in place for you to be a great

mentor? 3 core skills – questioning, listening and feedback What process works for mentoring? What do you cover in a first mentoring meeting?

What is mentoring?

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Definition

Mentoring is a supportive learning relationship in which a more skilled or experienced, caring person teaches, encourages, shares knowledge, imparts wisdom, sponsors, counsels and befriends a less skilled or experienced individual who is ready and willing to benefit from this exchange, to enrich his/her professional journey.

Mentoring is a relationship that meets a development need, helps develop full potential, and benefits all parties - mentor, mentee and the business.

Or


There are different types of mentoring…‒ Developmental mentoring – This is where the mentor is

helping the mentee develop new skills and abilities. The mentor is a guide and a resource for the mentee's growth.

‒ Sponsorship mentoring – This is when the mentor is more of a career influencer than a guide. In this situation, the mentor takes a close interest in theprogress of the mentee (or protégé). The mentor "opens doors", influencingothers to help the mentee or protégé'sadvancement.

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What makes a good mentor?Time Solutions

Experience

People

Confidence

Encouraging

Respect Caring

“Go to”person Interest

in others

Communicationsskills

KnowledgeInspiration

Sees learning opportunities not mistakes

Empathy

Patience


Mentoring – a brief history

Alcumus

Telemachus

Athena

Odysseus

Trojan War

& Penelope

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Athena_Parthenos_Altemps_Inv8622.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Head_Odysseus_MAR_Sperlonga.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Penelope_-_Homer's_Odyssey_-_Project_Gutenberg_eText_13725.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Penelope_-_Homer's_Odyssey_-_Project_Gutenberg_eText_13725.jpg


Famous mentoring relationships

Mel Gibson mentor to Heath Ledger

Madonna mentor to Gwyneth Paltrow

Audrey Hepburn mentor to Elizabeth Taylor

Bing Crosby mentor to Frank Sinatra

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.cometo.vu/news/oct-2006/image/0080%20qoae-mel_gibson.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.cometo.vu/news/oct-2006/story/0080%20Mel%20Gibson%20Monster.htm&usg=__17TVS-ee1QwqtNqxWcJHtekNi7U=&h=400&w=300&sz=31&hl=en&start=2&um=1&tbnid=fs7vlczb3-aDZM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=93&prev=/images?q%3Dmel%2Bgibson%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Madonna_/madonna_01.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.collider.com/entertainment/news/article.asp/aid/10989/tcid/1&usg=__23HIAO7BnbrA3ThZ-9LTb_lKVYI=&h=382&w=300&sz=27&hl=en&start=21&um=1&tbnid=tDb7-eik0cJ3qM:&tbnh=123&tbnw=97&prev=/images?q%3Dmadonna%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26sa%3DN%26start%3D18%26um%3D1

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://img2.allposters.com/images/PYR/MPP50056.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Audrey-Hepburn-Posters_i1536206_.htm&usg=__va4KnjzkgqE7vyCK14MSqA3R9w0=&h=450&w=365&sz=35&hl=en&start=13&um=1&tbnid=zk7nNjQeQ-9fiM:&tbnh=127&tbnw=103&prev=/images?q%3Daudrey%2Bhepburn%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26um%3D1

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://classiccrooners.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/bing_crosby_gallery_11.jpg&imgrefurl=http://classiccrooners.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/classic-crooners-playlist/&usg=__q16ZLGj_fNnt3-RNBgSbQ2W7mjE=&h=450&w=360&sz=40&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=5twxhNkW40LsDM:&tbnh=127&tbnw=102&prev=/images?q%3DBing%2BCrosby%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26sa%3DG%26um%3D1

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://blog.sanriotown.com/virtualrain:kuririnmail.com/files/2008/01/heath-ledger.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blog.sanriotown.com/virtualrain:kuririnmail.com/&usg=__lmL5mmhTqxNGkhclyxTjfqcHUKE=&h=400&w=400&sz=35&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=rCeVvQEv0ePoVM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=124&prev=/images?q%3Dheath%2Bledger%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26um%3D1

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://inyobusiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/gwyneth-paltrow.jpg&imgrefurl=http://inyobusiness.com/2009/03/gwyneth-paltrow-design-clothes/&usg=__fcYXxJ3KineQwMk3jtBBF9nJ_No=&h=400&w=300&sz=29&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=1r95u9KX_MuAWM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=93&prev=/images?q%3DGwyneth%2BPaltrow%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26sa%3DG%26um%3D1

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Elizabeth-Taylor_0.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.topnews.in/people/elizabeth-taylor&usg=__y2JHCGz3FBdnyAiZu5nI7uCnG0o=&h=504&w=360&sz=30&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=igxpSbyUbb4zbM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=93&prev=/images?q%3DElizabeth%2BTaylor%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26sa%3DG%26um%3D1

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://jazzlives.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/sinatra.jpg&imgrefurl=http://jazzlives.wordpress.com/2008/12/&usg=__fEus3exb9ZEqyQiGwE_1cZW_85k=&h=450&w=336&sz=23&hl=en&start=6&um=1&tbnid=OqMd91tDgnj_bM:&tbnh=127&tbnw=95&prev=/images?q%3DFrank%2BSinatra%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4EGLC_enGB298GB299%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1


More famous mentoring relationships


Difference between mentoring & coaching

Mentoring

Ongoing relationship Longer term More informal Focus on career and

personal development Assumption of expertise,

knowledge Agenda set by mentee

Coaching

Relationship for a set duration

Shorter term More structured Focus on work-related

issues/ challenges No knowledge or

experience required Agenda on specific goals


What mentoring is not…

‒ “The answer is …”‒ “What you must do is”‒ “You shouldn’t have…”‒ Sorry, I’m busy”‒ “I’m just passing through”‒ “I’ve no idea”‒ “Can we do this in 5?”‒ Thinks: “that’s a great story. I must tell …”

How is mentoring used in business?


How is mentoring used?Formal or informal mentoring is used for:

- Career advice- Transition- Specific projects- Growing future leadership talent- On the job learning - Induction- Redundancy/outplacement- Helping mentees adjust to change- Succession planning- Sounding out ideas


Benefits of mentoring

Insights

Learning institutionalised

Sense of belonging

Advice & experience

Higher performanceQuicker transitionsSense of helping

Improved retentionCareer clarityConfidence

Increased engagementSupportSharing Knowledge

Quicker learningSpace to thinkChallenge

For us (the business)

For them (mentees)For You (mentor)

Team cohesion

Empowerment


ROI of mentoring

Mentoring works. Here is some evidence: • Retention – 77% of companies reported improvement

after mentoring (Source: Center for Creative leadership)

Promotion – 75% of executives report mentoring being beneficial to career (Source: ASTD)

Productivity – 95% of mentees said the experience motivated them to do their best (Source: War on talent, Ed Michaels)

Personal and professional development – 76% of Fortune’s top 50 companies offer mentoring (Source: Fortune)


What works? 4 key areas if you want to foster a culture of mentoring

- Get senior champions on board

- Match mentoring pairs

- Train mentors and mentees

- Set standards, gauge and reward good mentoring

What are the boundaries around mentoring?


Experience

What are the boundaries and expectations?Confidential Advice

Focus on what is important

to mentee

Learning not blame

Help & support

Long-term(6-12 mths)

Feedback is 2-way

Empowers

Honesty & chemistry

2-3 face to face

Independent, objective,

outside line management

Safe &Non-threatening

Informal structure

MENTORING

What needs to be in place for you to be a great mentor?


Insights

Goals Learning

Provide feedbackRetention

Advice

High expectations of mentee

ChallengePractice Self-confidence

ListeningBusiness

Be motivated to continue growing

QuestioningThe market

Desire to helpEmotional IntelligenceThe organisation

Mind-setSkillsKnowledge

Empowerment


Mindset Behaviors Results

The impact of mind-set

Three Core Skills: questioning


Great questions

‒ Open are SO MUCH BETTER than closed as we all know….we need longer answers in mentoring

‒ Begin with ‘What?’ ‘How’? Why can be used but be careful of judgment interpretation

‒ Add ‘Tell me more about?’ ‘Describe’

‒ Great for eliciting more detail e.g. “what else did he say?`’ Use exactly to clarify further

‒ Great for understanding others’ personal opinions – “What did you think of the strategy presentation?”

http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiPsMn80r_JAhUJDxoKHYPtA58QjRwIBw&url=http://cliparts.co/question-mark-vector&psig=AFQjCNEXA-ltQcXn0TSaXBbCkFqIB86k5w&ust=1449230611532206


What else on questions?‒ Use leading questions with care. If you use them

in a self-serving way or one that harms the interests of the other person, then they can, quite rightly, be seen as manipulative and dishonest.

‒ Don’t try to disguise a statement as a question – ‘Do you really think you have enough time for that?”

‒ Make sure that you give the person you are questioning enough time to respond. Give them thinking time and avoid interrupting

‒ Of course, your body language and tone of voice also play a part in the answers you get when you ask questions

‒ Skillful questioning needs to be matched by careful listening so that you understand what people really mean with their answers…

http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiPsMn80r_JAhUJDxoKHYPtA58QjRwIBw&url=http://cliparts.co/question-mark-vector&psig=AFQjCNEXA-ltQcXn0TSaXBbCkFqIB86k5w&ust=1449230611532206

Three Core Skills:listening


Great listening looks like…‒ It starts with a real connection – compassion

promotes expansiveness in the brain

‒ What are you listening for?

‒ Suspend your needs and wants – its not about you, remember

‒ Conscious listening – what is not being said, what is behind these words?

‒ Use playback – repeat exact words, reflect back what you see is happening emotionally

Three Core Skills:Feedback


SBI feedback model

Setting and circumstances: when and where

What I saw you do and/orheard you say

The impact of yourbehavior on me, others,and/or the task


Positive SBI feedback

“I see that you have had success with several pitches and proposals recently. That’s good.”

More specific and motivating positive feedback:

(Situation Behavior Impact)

“You have won several pitches and proposals recently in what has been a difficult market, with intense competition (situation). I understand that client feedback has been that these were very well researched and relevant to their emerging issues (behavior). You have developed new business and lifted our market profile in this area. That’s great, well done.”(impact).


Constructive SBI feedback

“You need to improve your people management skills.”

Effectively expressed constructive feedback:

(Situation Behavior Impact)

“As you know, a core job expectation of a manager is also to manage and develop staff. I have received feedback that you could improve in this area (situation). You need to delegate more, and also provide timely coaching and feedback to your staff (behavior). This will help you achieve your goal of taking on more responsibility, and also help you better develop, engage and retain your staff (impact).”


Situation

Behavior

Impact

3 or 4 positive

1 negative

What is the process you can use for mentoring?


The 3-Stage Model

Use it to:1. Map the mentoring process2. Review the mentoring relationship3. Enhance a shared understanding of the mentoring

process, and develop mentee’s ability to use it independently

Exploration1.

Understanding2.2.

Action3.


The Grow Model

G

R

O

W

oal setting

eality

ptions

ill

What do you want? - Short / Long term Goals

The current situation - challenges, performance strategy

Brainstorming - explore alternative courses of action

What WILL be done - when, by whom, how?

What do you cover in a first mentoring meeting?


Developing the relationship… Check in all the time – is this working? What do we need to do differently?

Be available (within boundaries)

Start each meeting with checking in on actions agreed - Avoid going into judgement if actions not completed

Meetings and agenda should be driven by mentee – drive this responsibility

Relate back to goals/outcome from first meeting

Focus on important rather than urgent – not about fire-fighting

Finish with clean break - ensure you do not create dependence


The first session – contracting & foundations Exchange information about yourselves

Mentor and mentee roles – discuss

Boundaries – confidentiality, what will make this a successful relationship?,

frequency and location, respect each others’ time, decide who will take notes –

typically mentor take notes

Discuss long-term development – goals and aspirations

• What does success look like – what might get in the way?

• What should the focus of the mentoring be?

• How will you know if it’s worked?

Deal with most pressing issues

Handover to mentee to manage meetings from now on

Follow up - Do what you say you are going to do

For more information and tips on business training visit www.ftguidetobusinesstraining.com

Tom Bird and Jeremy Cassell

Date post:	13-Feb-2017
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