HOW TO FIND YOUR AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP IN A DISRUPTED … · Authentic leadership starts with being...

HOW TO FIND YOUR AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP IN A DISRUPTED WORLD

“I wish it need not have happened

in my time,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” replied Gandalf, “and so

do all who live to see such times.

But that is not for them to decide.

All we have to decide is what to do

with the time that is given us.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of Ring

HOW TO FIND YOUR AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP IN A DISRUPTED WORLD | 2© 2020, David Irvine

On a poster in the boxing gym where I train there is a picture of Mike Tyson along with his quote:

“Everybody has a plan until you get punched in the mouth.”

I don’t know anyone today who has not, in some form or another, been punched in the mouth

by COVID-19. As for me, my whole business has been turned upside down. I actually have to do

what I’ve been telling my audiences to do for many years: embrace change and reinvent yourself so

you remain relevant and valuable in the world. Since the threat of this pandemic has put me into

a virtual world and my income depends on being in front of live audiences, I need to diversify and

use technology to take my products and services to a broader audience. Something I should have

done years ago. I’ve known this for some time, but this pandemic gives me the impetus to change.

Indeed, with extraordinary disruption comes unprecedented opportunity.

And this can be an opportunity for you to strengthen your authentic leadership. It stands to reason

that before you can be a strength to anyone, you must be standing on a firm foundation yourself. You

have to put your own oxygen mask on first. You must be strong to strengthen and support others.

I offer eight strategies for strengthening your authenticity in order to effectively lead in times

of chaos. Regardless of your title or position, there is an opportunity to deepen and strengthen

your presence so you can have a greater positive impact on those you influence and those who

depend on you for leadership. While these tactics are designed to help you face the current reality

of COVID-19, they are also intended to prepare you to navigate uncharted waters of an uncertain

future. While contemplating these strategies, know that I am available for support and assistance.

Contact: [email protected] for information on virtual coaching and virtual presentations.

EVERYBODY HAS A PLAN UNTIL YOU

GET PUNCHED IN THE MOUTH


1) BE 100% ACCOUNTABLE

I spent a good part of last summer sailing off the coast of Nova Scotia with good friends. Navigating

through very challenging conditions, I learned, among other things, the difference between a

pessimist, an optimist, and a true sailor. A pessimist complains about the wind. An optimist expects

it to change. A sailor, on the other hand, adjusts the sails. The first step in response to any crisis

is to take 100% accountability for setting the sail. Navigating through a challenging environment

starts with a decision that all blame is a waste of time, and you put your energy into what you can

control. It’s not the strongest or brightest who survive; it’s the one most adaptable to change. It’s not

about the wind; it’s about the set of the sails. To survive and thrive we have to accept and embrace

change with the courage of a master sailor. Those who don’t will be magnificently equipped to

deal with a world that no longer exists.

Self-respect and credibility come from 100% accountability for our own response to a situation.

Circumstances don’t determine a person, they reveal a person. True leadership will be revealed

by accountability – a person who can be counted on not to cast blame and to work hard at setting

the sails.


2) BE REAL

Being 100% accountable doesn’t mean you suppress emotions and pretend to have it all together.

You don’t go to a funeral and speak about the great opportunity that lies ahead. Getting real means

being honest with yourself and present to your experience. We’ve all heard that “when one door

closes another one opens.” What they don’t tell you is that it’s hell in the corridor.

Authentic leadership starts with being authentic. We need to grieve before we rebuild. We need

to connect with ourselves before we can connect to a renewed vision and to those we need to co-

create that vision. There will be anger, fear, confusion, helplessness, betrayal. It’s a process, and

shock, denial, and grief are all part of the journey. It has been said that violence happens when

people don’t know what to do with their suffering. When we don’t know what to do with our fears

we get frenetically busy, go shopping, and panic purchase. When we are in a stressful response,

our rational brain doesn’t function well. And it’s totally understandable. Our very security, safety,

and survival are threatened. Like Linus, whose blanket’s in the dryer, there’s nothing to hang on

to. When we’re in a sympathetic response we make bad decisions and go in circles. Get real by

taking time to step back, s-l-o-w d-o-w-n, and connect to the calm center within us where wisdom

and love reside. This journey starts with developing what I call the “art of the pause.” It’s a “stop”

skill: the ability to stop, be in the moment, and identify precisely what is going on inside of you at

any given moment. Take it all in. Feel what you are feeling. If the world around you seems to be

falling apart, if someone or something you hold dear is lost, if it all seems just too overwhelming,

you can stay grounded and authentic by being fully and compassionately present to whatever you

are experiencing in this moment. When you are present to the fear, the fear ironically begins to

dissolve and a firmer foundation emerges.

We need to grieve

before we rebuild


3) BE STILL

Stop and get your bearings. Authentic leadership is both active and reflective. One has to alternate

between participating and observing. Walt Whitman described it as being “both in and out of the

game.” For example, Kobe Bryant’s ability to inspire greatness in the players around him came in

part from his ability to play hard while observing the whole game as if he were in the stands. Wayne

Gretsky played hockey in the same way. Times of disruption create an opportunity to stop, step back,

and gain perspective. It’s an old and ironic habit of human beings to run faster when they’ve lost

their way and that is not helpful. If you’ve ever been lost, you know the importance of stopping and

getting your bearings. This involves being informed, clarifying what truly matters, and imagining

possibilities and opportunities that go beyond the current realty. In order to authentically inspire

others to see beyond their own limitations, you must see a broader horizon. It’s about resetting

your inner compass and getting yourself back on track. Before you can find your way, you have

to step away.

While embracing change is necessary for survival, not all change is good. Always in the midst of

change we need to take a careful inventory of what we are committed to preserve in three critical

areas: your values, your purpose, and your vision.


Values

Times of disruption afford us opportunities to reflect more deeply about our values and provide an

opportunity to be reflective, conscious, and proactive. It’s a time to take stock of our lives, clarify

our deepest values and purpose, connect with ourselves and the people that truly matter in our

lives, and assess any possible gaps between the life we are living and the life we are meant to live.

Purpose

A life consumed with a sense of purpose gives you energy. When you have a sense of purpose

you are able to live life in harmony. My purpose is to connect leaders with their authentic self,

thus enabling them to amplify their impact on the world. Reminding myself of why I do what I do

liberates me, allowing me to discover new virtual avenues to realize my purpose.

Vision

Once you are clear about your values, the quality of life you desire, and your purpose, you can

create a renewed vision for your life and your work – in the new landscape. At this point you move

from being immobilized in the crisis to being renewed and empowered in the new reality. There

is no small vision. It could be a vision of helping the seniors in your neighborhood, being a better

parent, or finding a way of expressing your gifts and your passion through a virtual medium.

4) BE CLEAR

One of the critical strategies for getting through chaos is creating clarity between what we can

control and what we can’t control. When I’m overwhelmed, I find it helpful to do this exercise:

take out a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. In the left column list everything that

is worrying you, that you are afraid of, that concerns you – everything that you have no control

over. In the right column, list everything in your life that is within your control. You’ll find it

very liberating to let go of everything in the left column and put your energy and efforts into the

right column.


5) BE DISCIPLINED

After you exprerience the initial shock and emotions that accompany chaos and begin to get your

bearings in terms of values, purpose, and vision, it’s time to establish some structure for your life

that will emerge into the new reality. This has to do with how you will structure your day and

establish daily routines, such as when and how much you exercise, how much news you listen to,

how much rest you need, how you will invest in and develop yourself, when you work, and how

you take time away from work. It’s about sorting out your finances, your debts, a work routine,

practices that surround your health and well-being, and then creating some discipline in these areas.

In my own structure right now I schedule time each week for:

A Self-Care - meditation, prayer, exercise, rest, and renewal

B Family – to relax, hang out, and enjoy each other

C Personal Development – books, podcasts, and videos from selected teachers

D Connections to My Tribe – colleagues and friends who support and nourish me, make me think differently, and help hold me accountable

E Content and Program Development – creating new programs that bring renewed value to my clients that can be offered virtually or face-to-face when we can meet again

F Clean Ups – taking care of old projects that have been neglected to make room for

something new

6) BE CONNECTED

We need people in our lives who make us feel completely safe to be who we are; people we can cry

out to and vent to, who will bring us to our senses and build us back up when all our inner pieces

are broken. Authentic connections can include trusted friends, close colleagues, spouses, coaches,

mentors, consultants, or therapists. They ask us questions like, “How are you, really?” “What’s

going on?” “What are you learning?” “What are your options?”

Our connections can offer more than support. Reach out to others for new ideas, for synergy.

Take an inventory of people who can help you make a contribution. And once you get through

the emotions a new dream, a new vision can emerge. Who can help you bring it to fruition?


7) BE CENTERED

There was a time when farmers of the Great Plains would run a rope from their back door to the

barn at the first sign of a blizzard. They all knew stories of people who had wandered off and froze

to death, having lost sight of their home in a whiteout while still in their own backyards. “The

blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold, and it has overturned the order of the soul,” wrote

Leonard Cohen. Today we live in a blizzard of another sort. It swirls around us in the form of ever-

increasing chaos and worry. Centering is finding the rope that will take you home to your true self.

William Stafford’s poem, “The Way It Is,” expresses brilliantly what it means to find an inner place

of calm and steadiness – your center – in the midst of the vicissitudes of life.

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among

things that change. But it doesn’t change.

People wonder about what you are

pursuing.

You have to explain about the thread.

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it you can’t get lost.

Tragedies happen; people get hurt

or die; and you suffer and get old.

Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.

You don’t ever let go of the thread.


8) BE HUMAN

Years ago, when I was a young scout, we were hiking and stopped on the edge of a long steep

embankment. Soon we were rolling large boulders down the mountain and watching them as they

gathered momentum and bounced out of sight. My father, who was also my scout master, came by

and gently taught us a life lesson. He said, “Boys, while what you are doing is exciting and seems

to be fun, have you ever considered those who might be on the same trail that you came up and

how your actions might be putting them in danger?” Then he quietly walked away.

Times of crisis awaken us to consideration – mindfulness of how people around us are impacted

by our actions. We have all experienced, and we have all been, people who help and people who

hinder; people who lift and people who lean; people who contribute and people who consume. To

give encouragement, offer support, show interest, and awaken hope in others is its own reward

and returns to the giver many times over. Such gestures are noble and beautiful; they make the

world a kinder, gentler place for all of us.

My wife was standing in line at a grocery store this week. Respecting social distance, she observed

the cashier, head down, spending her day scanning and pushing groceries through to the bags.

Several feet ahead of her, she observed a frustrated, stressed young man attempting to pay for his

small bag of groceries. His visa card wasn’t working. Then his debit card didn’t work. He didn’t

know what to do. Val stepped and motioned to him, “You go ahead. I’ll pay for it.”

For the first time in several minutes, the cashier looked up. Tears filled her eyes.

This is the great opportunity today. It’s about looking up, looking around, and opening our hearts

to compassion.


CONCLUSION

I have a strong belief that there is a reason behind everything that happens in our lives. At the time

we meet a situation it may appear to be impossible to get through it or to understand its purpose.

We may find ourselves going through the torment of the damned while we are in the midst of it.

As we face whatever we have been given and live through it – with consciousness, community,

and courage – through the light of time’s perspective, we realize that we are wiser and stronger

and freer than we were before we met it.

We may wonder if this will be possible after the current crisis subsides. I have faith that the

pandemic has something to teach us if we take the time to get the lesson. We could all come up

with a list. Here’s mine:

1. The earth is rebalancing itself. This is her way of saying no. In the words of a

widely shared letter on-line, “many see the Corona/Covid-19 virus as a great disaster;

I prefer to see it as a ‘great corrector’.”

2. We all need to appreciate the preciousness of our health and find greater

gratitude for those who help sustain our health and those who care for us

when we aren’t well. When you have your health, you have a thousand wishes;

when you don’t have your health, you have one.

3. We are all interconnected. We all need each other. You can’t sink half a ship.

4. Grocery store clerks are important. Let’s be more aware of the people in our lives

who help us meet our basic needs for food, shelter, and safety, and let’s do a better job

of thanking them and letting them know how important they are.

5. Caring is everything. During this crisis we may not be able to get to the gym to

strengthen our biceps. What we can strengthen is our capacity to open our hearts.

6. While fear is understandable, decisions and actions based on fear will end up

causing greater suffering. A trickle of fear will turn into a trough that everything

will run into.

7. The way through any catastrophe is to be present to our experience. Stop and

look the dragon in the eye. What are we ultimately afraid of? Buying toilet paper and

panic purchasing are symptoms of unacknowledged fear. When we stop, take it in,


and be present to our experience, we can find some peace below the surface of the

anxiety.

8. Security does not come from riches, or our jobs, or the illusion of control.

Security comes from a contented mind. We have forgotten what enough actually

feels like. We can be reminded. How much do we want, and how much do we really

need? The endless pursuit of more has left us unhappier than ever. We have confused

standard of living with quality of life.

9. There’s a difference between “me” people and ‘we” people, between takers and

givers, between consumers and contributors. Now, more than ever, leadership means

bringing value, giving to others, and rolling up our sleeves.

I trust that you have found this guide to be useful in finding your own authentic leadership at this

most challenging and disruptive time. My hope is that it will lead to open hearted conversations

with ourselves, our loved ones, and our colleagues. I trust that it will form a foundation that will

lead to great awareness, compassion, and actions that inspire renewed trust in the human spirit

and in our capacity to embrace change.

For additional complimentary resources to support your

authentic journey through these unprecedented disruptive

times, visit my website:

www.davidirvine.com/resources

For a complimentary coaching or support session or to reach

out for any assistance on your authentic journey through

this period of massive uncertainty, or to help you assess your

current needs and challenges, I would love to hear from you.

Website: www.davidirvine.com Phone (Toll Free): 1-866-621-7008

Email: [email protected] Podcast: davidirvine.podbean.com

© 2020 by David Irvine. Permission to reprint and circulate is granted.

@davidjirvine

David Irvine

davidirvine_

David Irvine

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