How to host a conversation on bullying in your community

Michelle AlfredVice President of Leadership

Pinellas County Council PTA/PTSA

What is BullyingWhat is BullyingA person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself.

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

Imbalance of Power Intent to Harm Repeated Behavior

Rough Play Real Fighting Bullying

Usually friends; often repeated (same players)

Usually not friends; Typically not repeated

Typically not friends; Generally repeated

Balance of Power Power relatively equal Unequal power

No intent to harm Intentional Harm Intentional Harm

Affect is friendly;Positive, mutual

Affect negative;Aggressive, tense,

hostile affect

Affect negative;Aggressive and differs

for victim and aggressor

Types of BullyingTypes of Bullying

CYBERBULLYING

VERBALPHYSICAL

RELATIONAL AGGRESSION

A student who bullies is someone who repeatedly hurts another person on purpose.

TYPES OF BULLIES

• Proactive: seek internal feelings of power and control, behave in a deliberate manner.

• Reactive: feel threatened, emotional and impulsive, feel aggression is justified.

• Extrovert: openly harass and use force to get their way• Introvert: conform to rules, seek power through manipulation• Passive: participate but do not take the lead role in bullying incidents

• Frequent name calling and put downs

• Lack of empathy for others

• Desire to have power over others

• Disrespect for authority and rules

• Easily offended or angered

• Have unexplained extra money or new belongings

• Stay calm

• Focus on how to help your child learn positive behaviors

• Make it clear that bullying behaviors are unacceptable

• Use consistent, respectful discipline; hold your child responsible for hurtful behavior and help your child understand the consequences of their actions

• Help your child see other points of view; teach empathy for others

• Spend quality time with your child and be a positive role model

A student who is repeatedly exposed to negative actions from peers in the form of physical attacks,

verbal assaults, or psychological abuse.

About 1 in 5 children has been

a victim of bullying

• Lonely, withdrawn or isolated

• Lacks social skills

• Has few friends

• Sudden changes in school performance or attendance

• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares

• Unexplained scratches, bruises, or damage to clothing/property

• Nervous, anxious, worried, fearful

• Suddenly starts bullying others

• Ashamed of being bullied

• Embarrassed that they cannot handle the bullying themselves

• Afraid of retaliation

• Do not believe anyone can help

• Do not believe anyone will help

• Have been taught bullying is part of growing up and will develop character

• Believe ratting on a peer is unacceptable

• Let your child know that you are pleased they have told you and that it is not their fault

• Reassure your child that you will help him/her

• Investigate the situation by asking questions

• Avoid confronting the child who is bullying or his/her parents

• Develop a safety plan with your child that includes trusted adults your child can turn to for help

• Spend quality time with your child and be a positive role model

• Contact the school as soon as possible

Cyberbullying is bullying through email, instant messaging (IMing), chat room exchanges, Web site posts, or digital messages or images send to a cellular phone or personal digital assistant (PDA)

Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites.

Cyberbullying has some rather unique characteristics that are different from traditional bullying.

SENSE OF SAFETY

VIOLATED

SELF ESTEEM ERODED

EMOTIONAL HARM 24/7

FEAR OF REPORTING

CONCERNS

HarrassmentDenigrationFlamingImpersonationOuting and TrickeryPosting Pictures

- Morphing- Rating

Happy Slapping

Tips for Parents

• Create rules for internet use

• Educate yourself and your child

• Know what your child is doing online

• Learn the language

• Don’t allow solitary surfing

• Don’t rely solely on technology to protect kids

• Know your child’s e-mail accounts, profiles, IM screen names, etc.

Tips for Kids

• Keep personal information to yourself

• Never post a picture

• Always use a neutral username

• Don’t give password to anyone but parents

• Tell an adult if cyberbullying occurs

• Keep anything sent by the person who is cyberbullying

Save messages and pictures as evidence. Send one message clearly stating

“Do not contact me again or I will contact the authorities.”

Contact the ISP, forward offending messages and request the account be terminated.

www.whois.net Notify the website and request removal Trace phone number and contact phone

company Contact your local law enforcement office

Host a Connect For Respect Event

Obtain a copy of and understand your school district’s bullying or harassment policy; including reporting procedures.

Work with your School Administration/School Resource Officers to educate and inform students, parents and teachers on the school districts’ policies and prevention programs.

Share resources and educational materials on bullying.

Go to National PTA’s website at

www.pta.org/bullying for more information.

1. Develop Goals and Objectives2. Determine the Type of Event.3. Select a Date and Time.4. Determine a Location.5. Consider the Needs of Your Community.6. Develop an Agenda and Invite Guest Speakers.7. Communicate About Your Event8. Develop Materials to Hand Out at Your Event.9. Host Your Connect For Respect Event.10. Evaluate Your Event11. Plan for the Future.

Website Resources on Bullying and Preventionwww.pta.org/bullyingwww.stopbullying.govwww.bullying.orgwww.cyberbullying.orgwww.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/youthviolence/www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/bully-prevention/

Parent Surveillance Sites Translating Web Talkwww.us.trendmicro.com www.transl8it.comwww.eblaster.com www.webopedia.comwww.watchdog.comwww.spectorsoft.com

How to host a conversation on bullying in your community

Michelle AlfredVice President of Leadership

Pinellas County Council PTA/PTSA