1

How to Improve Your Prose Style: Part 2

This lecture covers these concepts:

3. Being Direct4. Being Accessible

© Karen Thompson, University of Idaho

Some of the examples in these slides have been adapted from Michael Alley’s The Craft of Scientific Writing.

Concept 3: Being direct means to be a straightforward as possible. Use strong nouns and verbs to be direct.

A strong noun (or noun phrase) refers to a particular person, place, or thing.

A strong verb (or verb phrase) conveys action that is specific.

Experimental design is a method of efficiently performing a comparative analysis. Specifically, a 23 design compares the main effects and the interactive effects of three variables on a final measured characteristic. The use of experimental design results in correct problem structuring, efficient experimentation, and data analysis leading to correct conclusions.

Abstract nouns and noun phrases (italicized) makes the writing unclear.

Weak verbs (underlined) hide the energy of your work.

A new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from diesel exhaust engines is presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.

Tightening the verb form, makes the verb stronger. Notice how doing this eliminates unnecessary words (i.e. being concise.

4

is capable of can

is composed of composed

is used to detect detects

makes a decision decides

makes a measurement of measures

performs the development of develops

Concept 4: Being Accessible

5

Too often, technical writing fails to be accessible to readers. When in doubt, use plain English.

What is plain English?

6

Plain English is writing that is clear, concise and unambiguous. It enables readers to understand and take action from the writing after just one reading.

The structure of plain English documents is as important as the language. A clear and readable layout will help readers easily find their way through a document. It will also help highlight the meaning and context of the document.

Create structure by using headings in documents and in paragraphs by using topic sentences.

Structure: Use headings and topic sentences.

7

Headings help readers navigate through and revisit information in a document.

Topic sentences are structural clues that govern the detail that follows.

Read this or try to….it won’t make much sense.

8

Sally first tried setting loose a team of gophers. The plan backfired when a dog chased them away. She then entertained a group of teenagers and was delighted when they brought their motorcycles. Unfortunately, she failed to find a Peeping Tom listed in the Yellow Pages. Furthermore, her stereo system was not loud enough. The crab grass might have worked, but she didn’t have a fan that was sufficiently powerful. The obscene phone calls gave her hope until the number was changed. She thought about calling a door to door salesman but decided to hang up a clothesline instead. It was the installation of blinking neon lights across the street that did the trick. She eventually framed the ad from the classified section.

Notice how confusion is cleared up by a topic sentence.

9

Sally disliked her neighbors and wanted them to leave the area. Sally first tried setting loose a team of gophers. The plan backfired when a dog chased them away. She then entertained a group of teenagers and was delighted when they brought their motorcycles. Unfortunately, she failed to find a Peeping Tom listed in the Yellow Pages. Furthermore, her stereo system was not loud enough. The crab grass might have worked, but she didn’t have a fan that was sufficiently powerful. The obscene phone calls gave her hope until the number was changed. She thought about calling a door to door salesman but decided to hang up a clothesline instead. It was the installation of blinking neon lights across the street that did the trick. She eventually framed the ad from the classified section.

Topic sentences and governing detail.

10

All of the various details in the prior paragraph make sense long as we know what Sally was trying to do.

Sometimes though topic sentences are placed in the middle of a paragraph to make a comparison between information that comes before and after the topic sentence. Occasionally, a topic sentence is placed last (less frequently in technical writing).

A good rule of thumb concerning topic sentences is this: keep your paragraphs to one topic and be certain to include a topic sentence.

Think about where it’s best placed. Most of the time, putting a topic sentence upfront works best in technical writing, but other possibilities exist, so use the rule thoughtfully.

Anchor generalities with specifics to help readers understand key points you are making. Specific examples make writing accessible.

Since the design of the plant, we have made major advances in solar technology.

For example, experiments have shown that using molten salt as the heat transfer fluid could increase plant efficiency from 17% to 25%.

Another example that anchors a generality.

By the late Middle Ages, cities throughout Europe were building Gothic cathedrals. The only way, however, that architects could test a new design was to build the cathedral, a process that took more than forty years. Unfortunately, many cathedrals caved in during or after construction. What took forty years to test in the Middle Ages could have been done in minutes on a supercomputer.

William Wilson (architect)

Analogies help readers appreciate details that otherwise would have little meaning.

13

So well were the oxygen tanks of Apollo 13 insulated that if they were filled with ordinary ice and placed in a 70-degree room, it would take eight and a half years for the ice to melt.

If the energy generated by the descent into the atmosphere of the Apollo capsule were converted to electricity, it would equal 86,000 kilowatt-hours, enough to light up Los Angeles for a minute and a half.

James Lowell (astronaut)

To understand the shell theory of the nucleus, imagine a roomful of couples waltzing in circles, each circle enclosed inside another. These couples represent pairs of neutrons and protons. As the couples orbit the room, they also spin like tops, some clockwise and some counterclockwise.

In a waltz, it is easier to spin in one direction than in the other direction. Thus the couples spinning in the easier direction will need slightly less energy than the couples spinning in the more difficult direction. The same is true for neutron-proton pairs in the nucleus.

Maria Goeppert Mayer (physicist)

Analogies allow readers to visualize concepts.